Viviane Venancio > Viviane's Quotes

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#1

“(...) the day that I did not make Phi Beta Kappa nonetheless marked the end of something, and innocence may well be
the word for it. I lost the conviction that lights would always turn green for me, the pleasant certainty that those rather passive virtues which had won me approval as a child automatically guaranteed me not only Phi Beta Kappa keys but happiness, honor, and the love of a good man; lost a certain touching faith in the totem power of good manners, clean hair, and proven competence on the Stanford-Binet scale. To such doubtful
amulets had my self-respect been pinned, and I faced myself that day with the nonplused apprehension of someone who has come across a vampire and has no crucifix at hand.”
― Joan Didion, On Self-Respect

tags: self-respect

1 likes

#2

“Most of our platitudes notwithstanding, self-deception remains the most difficult deception. The tricks that work on others count for nothing in that very well-lit back alley where one keeps assignation with oneself: no winning smiles will do here, no prettily drawn lists of good intentions. One shuffles flashily but in vain through one's marked cards- the kindness done for the wrong reason, the apparent triumph which involved no real effort, the seemingly heroic act into which one had been shamed.”
― Joan Didion, Slouching Towards Bethlehem

tags: self-respect

42 likes

#3

“To do without self-respect, on the other hand, is to be an unwilling audience of one to an interminable documentary that details one's failings, both real and imagined, with fresh footage spliced in for every screening. (...) To live without self-respect is to lie awake some night, beyond the reach of warm milk, phenobarbital, and the sleeping hand on the coverlet, counting up the sins of commission and omission, the trusts betrayed, the promises subtly broken, the gifts irrevocably wasted through sloth or cowardice or carelessness. However long we postpone
it, we eventually lie down alone in that notoriously uncomfortable bed, the one we make ourselves. Whether or not we sleep in it depends, of course, on whether or not we respect ourselves."
To protest”
― Joan Didion, On Self-Respect

tags: self-respect

7 likes

#4

“There is a common superstition that “self-respect” is a kind of charm against snakes, something that keeps those who have it locked in some unblighted Eden, out of strange beds, ambivalent conversations, and trouble in general. It does not at all. It has nothing to do with the face of things, but concerns instead a separate peace, a private reconciliation.”
― Joan Didion, Slouching Towards Bethlehem

tags: eden, peace, privacy, reconciliation, self-respect

32 likes

#5

“People with self-respect exhibit a certain toughness, a kind of moral nerve; they display what was once called *character,* a quality which, although approved in the abstract, sometimes loses ground to the other, more instantly negotiable virtues.... character--the willingness to accept responsibility for one's own life--is the source from which self-respect springs.”
― Joan Didion, Slouching Towards Bethlehem

281 likes

#6

“The disposition, in any conflict, to side with ‘them’ against ‘us’, and the felt need to denigrate the customs, culture and institutions that are identifiably ‘ours’. Being the opposite of xenophobia I propose to call this state of mind oikophobia, by which I mean (stretching the Greek a little) the repudiation of inheritance and home.”
― Roger Scruton, England and the Need for Nations

28 likes

#7

“Do stuff. be clenched, curious. Not waiting for inspiration's shove or society's kiss on your forehead. Pay attention. It's all about paying attention. attention is vitality. It connects you with others. It makes you eager. stay eager.”
― Susan Sontag

tags: action, attention, concentration, connection, eagerness, inspiration, intelligence, observation, vitality

2116 likes

#8

“There's nothing loving or caring about a close parent-child relationship when it services the needs and feelings of a parent rather than the child.”
― Kenneth Adams, Silently Seduced, Revised & Updated

tags: covert-incest, emotional-abuse, emotional-incest, parentification

2 likes

#9

“Cooperation does not equal enjoyment.”
― Kenneth Adams, Silently Seduced, Revised & Updated

tags: covert-incest, emotional-abuse, emotional-incest, parentification

4 likes

#10

“All families function as a system in which one person's actions affect another and vice versa.”
― Kenneth Adams, Silently Seduced, Revised & Updated

tags: covert-incest, emotional-abuse, emotional-incest, parentification

0 likes

#11

“As long as the abuse or neglect experienced in childhood remains buried within, we re-recreate our family in adult relationships.”
― Kenneth Adams, Silently Seduced, Revised & Updated

tags: covert-incest, emotional-abuse, emotional-incest, parentification

1 likes

#12

“Assigning responsibility where it rightfully belongs is the first crucial step in gaining access to one's true feelings, needs, and wants.”
― Kenneth Adams, Silently Seduced, Revised & Updated

tags: covert-incest, emotional-abuse, emotional-incest, parentification

1 likes

#13

“Family dysfunction is progressive. It never stays the same. As it progresses, appropriate boundaries between parent and child may become nonexistent and communication becomes increasingly strained.”
― Kenneth Adams, Silently Seduced, Revised & Updated

tags: covert-incest, emotional-abuse, emotional-incest, parentification

4 likes

#14

“The fact that you are questioning your relationship with your parent means you are bringing about awareness and activating the process of change in yourself. By increasing your awareness, your own intuitive healing journey began. Trust in time for answers that are not clear yet, and love the questions themselves.”
― Kenneth Adams, Silently Seduced, Revised & Updated

tags: covert-incest, emotional-abuse, emotional-incest, emotional-recovery, parentification

0 likes

#15

“Misfortune is a stepping stone for genius, the baptismal font of Christians, treasure for the skillful man, an abyss for the feeble.”
― Honore de Balzac

tags: fortune, misfortune, outlook

16 likes

#16

“To look almost pretty is an acquisition of higher delight to a girl who has been looking plain the first fifteen years of her life than a beauty from her cradle can ever receive.”
― Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey

tags: adolescence, beauty, girls, prettiness

262 likes

#17

“Not all girls are made of sugar and spice and all things nice. Some are made of witchcraft and wolf and a little bit of vice.”
― Nikita Gill

tags: girls

210 likes

#18

“Adults are just obsolete children and the hell with them.”
― Dr. Seuss

tags: adulthood, childhood

3001 likes

#19

“[Kids] don't remember what you try to teach them. They remember what you are.”
― Jim Henson, It's Not Easy Being Green: And Other Things to Consider

tags: childhood, education, learning, teaching

2022 likes

#20

“It's never too late to have a happy childhood.”
― Tom Robbins, Still Life with Woodpecker

tags: childhood, children, innocence, youth

1142 likes

#21

“I want to be with those who know secret things or else alone.”
― Rainer Maria Rilke

tags: loneliness, secret-knowledge, secrets, solitude

1924 likes

#22

“So many people are shut up tight inside themselves like boxes, yet they would open up, unfolding quite wonderfully, if only you were interested in them.”
― Sylvia Plath, Johnny Panic and the Bible of Dreams: Short Stories, Prose and Diary Excerpts

tags: confidence, loneliness, shyness

1614 likes

#23

“When writers die they become books, which is, after all, not too bad an incarnation."

[As attributed by Alastair Reid in Neruda and Borges, The New Yorker, June 24, 1996; as well as in The Talk of the Town, The New Yorker, July 7, 1986]”
― Jorge Luis Borges

tags: books, death, immortality, literature, reading, transformation, words

548 likes

#24

“We should not judge people by their peak of excellence; but by the distance they have traveled from the point where they started.”
― Henry Ward Beecher

tags: excellence, inspirational, journey, judgment, personal-growth

603 likes

#25

“Set out from any point. They are all alike. They all lead to a point of departure.”
― Antonio Porchia

tags: adventure, departure, exploration, journey, travel

61 likes

#26

“Whatever you have learned, Harry, you must remember
That there is always more: we cannot rest in being
The impatient spectators of malice or stupidity.
We must try to penetrate the other private worlds
Of make-believe and fear. To rest in our own suffering
Is evasion of suffering. We must learn to suffer more.”
― T.S. Eliot, The Family Reunion

tags: action, futility, inadequacy, insight, knowledge, suffering, work

4 likes

#27

“Much of our waking life is spent in a desperate struggle to persuade others that we are not what we fear ourselves to be, or what they may discover us to be if they see through our pretenses. Most people, most of the time, have a profound and unhappy awareness of the contrast between what they are and what they ought to be.”
― David Smail, Illusion and Reality: The Meaning of Anxiety

tags: anxiety, inadequacy, insecurity, shyness

3 likes

#28

“The one thing I was good at was winning scholarships and prizes, and that era was coming to an end.”
― Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

tags: depression, fear-of-failure, growing-up, inadequacy, school

19 likes

#29

“Compassion without discipline is egregious self-sabotage.”
― Stefan Molyneux

tags: altruism, anarchy, ancap, attachment, charity, expertise, freedom, generosity, help, helping-others, humanitarian, humanitarianism, inadequacy, individual, individualism, laissez-faire, love, peace, philosophy, private-charity, psychology, rational, rationality, relationships, rights, sacrifice, self-knowledge, statism, voluntaryism, welfare-state

12 likes

#30

“Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible.”
― Carl Gustav Jung

2314 likes

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