Amy Edwards > Amy's Quotes

“She slid out from under his arm, and picked up his shirt from the floor. When she put it on, it failed to meet in the middle over her chest. that always worked in the movies, she thought, disgusted, and dropped it on the floor.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Bet Me

“Where were all the women gamblers? It wasn't as if being a woman wasn't a huge risk all by itself. Twenty-eight percent of female homocide victims were killed by husbands or lovers.

Which, come to think of it, was probably why there weren't any women gamblers. Living with men was enough of a gamble.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Bet Me

“That’s not a father. That’s a sperm donor. Forget him. He’s a mess. Concentrate on me. I’m terrific. -(Linc Blaise)”
― Jennifer Crusie, The Cinderella Deal

“Okay, Shane," Agnes said as Brenda's clock gonged midnight. "I got Joey in the kitchen, a cop in the front hall, a dead body in the basement, and you in my bedroom. Where do you want to start?”
― Jennifer Crusie, Agnes and the Hitman

“She pushed him onto the couch and straddled him...
Min swallowed "the thing is, im going to spread. Hips, thighs-"
"Not till nine-thirty," Cal said trying not to picture her.
"-waist," Min said then stopped. "What? nine-thirty? Not till my forties, probably, i think i can fight it off that long, but then-"
"What?" Cal said.
"Im going to get fat," Min said, and he blinked. "Er. Im going to get fatter." she frowned at him. "what did you think i meant?"
"for future reference," he said starting to laugh. "if you're sitting half naked on my lap and you tell me you're going to spread-"
"No! I would never say that!" she said.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Bet Me

“Well, you won't unless you come to lunch with me," Cal said. "I'm holding it for ransom. There's a gun
to its heel right now."
"I have lunch at my desk," Min began, and thought,Oh, for crying out loud, could I beany more
pathetic ?
"Emilio is experimenting with a lunch menu. He needs you. I need you.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Bet Me

“It doesn't matter," Min said. "That's what I'm trying to tell you, it doesn't matter what you do or say. I'm going to love you till the end of time."

Cal looked at her, stunned.

"I know," Min said. "It's really un-PC. I just thought you should know that you can't screw this up."

"I can't?" Cal said, wanting to believe her.

"No," Min said. "Which doesn't mean I'm not going to tell if you make me mad again. I will shout and slam doors. I just won't be on the other side of the door when I slam it. You've got me for life."

He lost his breath and put his forehead against her shoulder. "God, I love you.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Bet Me

“He was not looking forward to breaking the law. He was straight now. He'd matured. Crime no longer excited him.

What?' Ronald said.

I didn't say anything.'

You're breathing heavy.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Faking It

“Tomorrow we go back to normal?"
"Sure," Mab said. "It'll be like none of this happened. Except I'll still be pregnant, and you'll still be making dragons, and Glenda will still be pretending that Dreamland is Cancun, and Weaver will still own the only green velvet demon in captivity. Other than that, perfectly normal."
"I just meant no demons trying to kill us," Cindy said. "My baseline for normal is a lot lower than yours.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Wild Ride

“Davy's kiss tasted like vodka and disaster, and even while she kissed him back, Tilda thought, I'm never going into a closet with this man again. He slipped his hand under her T-shirt, and she said, "You know," as his hand slid up to her breast, but the only thing left to say was, I'm not that kind of girl, and of course she was.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Faking It

“Every species has a dinner date as part of courting ritual. A woman who won't let you pay for dinner is rejecting your courtship. She may think she's playing fair, or that she's being a feminist, but a very deep level, she knows that she's crossing you off her list of possibilities.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Bet Me

“North is a powerful man, and you're still connected to him." Flo frowned. "Probably sexual memory, those Capricorns are insatiable. Well, you know. Sea Goat. And of course, you're a Fish. You'll end up back in bed with him."

Andie slammed the car door. "You know what I'd like for Christmas, Flo? Boundaries. You can gift me early if you'd like.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Maybe This Time

“Have you talked to North?" he said.
"Yes," she said. "I asked him to get us cable."
"I wish you weren't talking to him."
"I'd talk to Satan to get cable," Andie said.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Maybe This Time

“Say it,” she said, and he said, “I love you. I’ll always love you. Forever. It’s a life sentence. Now put the damn ring on.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Welcome to Temptation

“You’ve always been nuts. That’s fine. I can deal with nuts. But lately, you’ve been depressed nuts. I can’t deal with that.
- Anthony”
― Jennifer Crusie, Getting Rid of Bradley

“I suppose you had to," Wes said when Phin went back to join him at the table.

"Pretty much. She seduced me."

"Yeah, right," Wes said. "She said, 'Please fix the kitchen drain,' and you interpreted that--"

"She said, 'Fuck me.' " Phin put two balls on the table and picked up his cue. "I interpreted that to mean she wanted sex."

"Oh." Wes picked up his cue. "That would have been my call, too." He squinted at the table. "Why would she have said that?"

"On a guess? Because she wanted sex.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Welcome to Temptation

“That furniture cost me a fortune! It's designer furniture."
"Designed by whom ? Darth Vader ? The Hitler Youth ?”
― Jennifer Crusie, The Cinderella Deal

“Drink to me! I just realized that I've slept with everyone at this table! ~Nell”
― Jennifer Crusie, Fast Women

“Sophie held the [hand]cuffs higher, hopint to instill some sense of shame, if not in him, then at least in herself. One look at him and she wanted him again. "I found them in the bed."

"That makes sense," Phin said. "That's where I lost them."

"I'd ask what you were doing with them," Sophie said, trying not to sound bitchy, "but I probably don't want to know, do I?"

"Sure you do. It was exciting and different and depraved." Phin nodded toward the stairs. "Go put them someplace we can find them, and I'll show you later.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Welcome to Temptation

“Comedy is hard. In many ways, it's like singing: If you have perfect pitch, it's much easier. But you can still go a long way toward mastering the rudiments if you must trust your voice. Most of the mistakes I've seen people make in trying to write funny is that they don't trust their own senses of humor. They don't think they're funny, and they set out to write funny the way they've read other people being funny with a grim determination that pretty much precludes any chance that anybody is going to have fun. Relax, listen to your characters, exploit their fears and flaws, and mine their situations for places in which they can use their own brands of humor.”
― Jennifer Crusie

“Infatuation is the fun part of falling in love. Infatuation triggers a chemical in the brain called PEA, your heart races, and you get breathless and dizzy, you tremble, and you can't think. It's what most people think of when they think of falling in love, and everybody goes through it.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Bet Me

“nfatuation lasts anywhere from six months to three years, and you can't know you've found the right person until you're worked your way through it.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Bet Me

“This is a woman you've known less than twelve hours. It took you a year to pick out a couch, but you're seriously—"
“Yes,” Roger said. “She's the one.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Bet Me

“King scratched at the door to be let out."
Charlie snorted. "King obviously has a lot of stamina. I'd have been clawing
at the door a lot sooner if I was trapped in a booth with Mark."
"But Mark ignored him, so King... uh, pooped."
Charlie grinned. "And then?"
"Mark yelled at him and scared him." Harry fought back a grin. "So King
pooped again."
Charlie's grin widened. "Mark is an idiot."
"So then Mark waved the script at him, and King—"
"Pooped again." Charlie started to laugh.
"Then Marcia came in and threw a fit because of all the poop in the booth and because Mark was mistreating a puppy. She gave him ten minutes to get the booth clean, and she took the dog away from him.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Charlie All Night

“I have to see him and Trevor Ogilvie on Monday. Both senior partners at once."
"Good for you. I hope Jack's in trouble up to his neck."
"They're being blackmailed."
"Blackmail?" Riley said, his voice full of disbelief. "Jack? There's stuff out there that's even worse than the stuff everybody knows about him?”
― Jennifer Crusie, Fast Women

“She was setting out china cups in their saucers, her long pale hands almost the same color as the cream china. "How do you take yours?"
"Four creams, two sugars," Riley said, still mesmerized by her.
She stopped with a small waxed carton in her hand.
"Really?"
"He's very young," Gabe said. "I take mine black."
"He's very boring," Riley said. "Is that real cream?”
― Jennifer Crusie, Fast Women

“Why are you offering me ten thousand dollars a month for babysitting? You didn’t pay the nannies that. It’s ridiculous. For ten thousand a month, you should not only get child care, you should get your house cleaned, your laundry done, your tires rotated, and if I were you, I’d insist on nightly blow jobs. Did you think I wouldn’t notice that you’re still trying to keep your thumb on me?”
― Jennifer Crusie, Maybe This Time

“I don't love you anymore", she whispered. "I don't love you at all." His throat closed. "It's all right, sweetheart. I love you enough for both of us.”
― Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Kiss an Angel

“I married a damned cereal killer”
― Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Nobody's Baby But Mine

“He shook his head. "The next time I hear a women going on about how neurotic men are, I'm going to remember this. You tell me you like my body, and what do I say? I say, thank you. Then I tell you I like yours and what do I hear? A long lists of grievances.”
― Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Kiss an Angel