Solace > Solace's Quotes

“My silence was reward for you saying something intelligent. I'm a firm believer in positive reinforcement.”
― Sam Argent

“Your father came by my room to check if you were here. I told him that even though I had not seen you, I was deeply flattered by the accusation.”
― Sam Argent

“First love, may the gods save us from such stupidity.”
― Sam Argent, Sebastian

“People are beautiful when they do beautiful things.”
― Joseph Fink, Welcome to Night Vale

“Librarians are hideous creatures of unimaginable power. And even if you could imagine their power, it would be illegal. It is absolutely illegal to even try to picture what such a being would be like.”
― Joseph Fink, Welcome to Night Vale

“In other news, a recent report suggests that things may not be as they seem.”
― Joseph Fink, Welcome to Night Vale

“We are skipping Friday this week, but we’ll make up for it by having Double Friday next week. Mark your schedules.”
― Joseph Fink, Welcome to Night Vale

“But babies become children, and they go to elementary schools that indoctrinate them on how to overthrow governments, and they get interested in boys and girls, or they don't, and anyway they change.”
― joseph fink, Welcome to Night Vale

“Clocks and calendars don’t work in Night Vale. Time itself doesn’t work.”
― Joseph Fink, Welcome to Night Vale

“You, of course, should always chant when you wash your hands. It is only hygienic.”
― Joseph Fink, Welcome to Night Vale

“You believe in mountains, right? Not everyone does.”
― Joseph Fink, Welcome to Night Vale

“Pepsi: Drink Coke.”
― Joseph Fink, Welcome to Night Vale

“Troy and I loved each other. We called it 'unconditional love', which was true. Once conditions arose, the love dissipated.”
― Joseph Fink, Welcome to Night Vale

“One day we will destroy the moon with indifference!”
― Joseph Fink, Welcome to Night Vale

“Of course, angels do not exist. It is illegal to consider their existence, or even to give them a dollar when they forget bus money and start hovering around the Ralphs asking for change.”
― Joseph Fink, Welcome to Night Vale

“This is Night Vale. Our mayor once led an army of masked warriors from another dimension through magic doors to defeat an army of smiling blood-covered office workers. There is definitely, definitely another way.”
― Joseph Fink, Welcome to Night Vale

“If we cannot be judged on our actions, then we cannot be judged.”
― Joseph Fink & Jeffrey Cranor, Welcome to Night Vale

“I'm sorry that it was this way, Mom. Not sorry like an apology. I'm sorry as in sorrow.”
― Joseph Fink, Welcome to Night Vale

“The past is gone, and cannot harm you anymore. And while the future is fast coming for you, it always flinches first and settles in as the gentle present.”
― Cecil Baldwin

“Stay tuned next for our countdown of last words, from “Stop telling me how to drive” all the way to “It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay.”
― Joseph Fink, The Great Glowing Coils of the Universe

“The cardinal directions are north, west, south, and east.

The cardinal temperatures are 35º Fahrenheit, 67º Fahrenheit, 3º Celsius, and 10º Kelvin.

The cardinal locations are a cave, a long-abandoned cabin, the bottom of an oceanic trench, and City Hall.

The cardinal emotions are wild abandon, guarded affection, directionless jealousy, and irritation.

The cardinal birds are hawk, sparrow, finch, and owl.

The cardinal names are Jeremy, Kim, Trigger, and Jamie.

And, finally, the cardinal sounds are a door slamming, slight movement in still water, popcorn popping, and a standard guitar G string being snipped with wire cutters.

This has been the Children’s Fun Fact Science Corner.”
― Joseph Fink, The Great Glowing Coils of the Universe

“When you die, the surface of the moon will not change.

The difference between the landscape and lighting of that barren little world from a moment where you exist, to a moment where you do not, will be minimal, and unrelated to your passing. From a car window driving on a highway, looking up at a moon framed by incidental clouds, the surface will be the same muddle of mystery and distance it always is.

And even a methodical study of your absence as it pertains to moon geology and cartography will find nothing. Searching through a powerful telescope, and analyzing with computer algorithms built around your nonexistence – even that study will find that all craters and rocks appear to be where we left them a few years back, that it is the same distance, orbiting at the same rate, and that the researches feel just the way they did about the moon as they did before you died.

Nothing will change about the moon when you die. It will be the same – still the moon, still there.

Still the moon.”
― Joseph Fink, The Great Glowing Coils of the Universe

“Remember: if you see something, say nothing, and drink to forget.”
― Welcome to Night Vale

“The moon’s weird though, right? It’s there, and there, and then suddenly it’s not. And it seems to be pretty far up. Is it watching us? If not, what is it watching instead? Is there something more interesting than us? Hey, watch us moon! We may not always be the best show in the universe, but we try.”
― Welcome to Night Vale

“And now a brief public service announcement. Alligators: can they kill your children? Yes.”
― Welcome to Night Vale

“It’s nice to have a station pet. Wish it wasn’t trapped in a hovering prison in the men’s bathroom, but listen: no pet is perfect. It becomes perfect when you learn to accept it for what it is.”
― Welcome to Night Vale

“Shower while there were two dead bodies in the bathtub, and he was sane. He drilled holes in the heads of living people to make them his unresisting companions, and he was sane. He ate a bicep which he fried in a skillet, tenderised and sprinkled with sauce, and he was sane. For hours he lay with corpses, hugging them, cherishing them, and he was sane. He kept eleven assorted heads and skulls, and two complete skeletons, for eventual use in a home-made temple, and he was sane.”
― Brian Masters, The Shrine of Jeffrey Dahmer