aimee

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“You're so easy to tease. And yes, your friend is just fine. Well, except that he keeps putting all my things away and trying to clean up. Now I can't find anything. He's compulsive.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes

1509 likes

“I'll just have them change the entry in the demonology textbook from 'almost extinct' to 'not extinct enough for Alec. He prefers his monsters really, really extinct.' Will that make you happy?”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes

tags: humor

3261 likes

“They turned to Angel. "We will call you Little One," the leader said, obviously deciding to dispense with the whole confusing name thing.
"Okay," said Angel agreeably. "I'll call you Guy in a White Lab Coat." He frowned.
"That can be his Indian name," I suggested.”
― James Patterson, Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports

tags: books, humor, maximum-ride

1119 likes

“I feel like, like pudding," Iggy groaned. "Pudding with nerve endings. Pudding in great pain.”
― James Patterson, The Angel Experiment

tags: action, humor, pudding

987 likes

“That was the funniest thing I'd heard in days.
You're kidding, right? PLEASE tell me you have a stronger motive for me than 'fair is fair.' Life isn't FAIR, Dean....Nothing is fair, EVER. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. I need to help you because FAIR IS FAIR? Try, 'I need you to help me so I won't rip out your spine and beat you with it.' I MIGHT respond to that. MAYBE.”
― James Patterson, School's Out—Forever

tags: humor, maxride

603 likes

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