Masha's Updates

"one star

While you were home sick with a flu, the love of your life had penetrative intercourse, at a party, at his old house, in a waterless bathtub, with someone else who smelt like musk and orange blossom and… tuberose (I think?)

everyone who says that this book is a british version of gossip girl must be hating the show, because why then u insult it that much? one star purely for me for finishing this and vibing to drake’s songs while reading.

the writing style in this book was hideous. when i say that none of the characters that were presented had personality i mean it. if magnolia(h) and bj(H) at least had 3 personality traits for each, then all of the side characters’ literally were the same person. all of their friends and other love interests were added only for minding magnoliabj’s business and push them back together. every time one of the friends was mentioned i was confused, cause i didn’t know if it was the new character or the old one. even the traits the leads had were mentioned once ot twice in the whole book, that i even forgot about some of them. for example, magnolia is “obsessed’ with fashion therefore there must be the plot line that would develop it somehow. the thing is tho that this book has no plot beside the constant back and forth between h and H. and instead of develop magnolia’s personality, the author decided to just constantly mentioning(in magnolia’s perspective ofc) who wears what. that’s all. her “obsession” is just being aware about what everyone wears and knowing famous clothes brands. bj doesn't even have that tho. beside that there was 37 mentions of adjectives “fucked up” and 10 of “fuck up” to describe hoe unheathly the relationship is. the metaphors tho were god tier as always.

She’s the deer and I’m the wolf and there’s a massive truck headed right for us in the middle of a dark night.😐

i’m seriously scared to even think of the amount of rappers’ references this book had.

I spent her seventeenth birthday party sweating fucking bullets because I’m pretty sure her dad told Kendrick Lamar and Travis Scott to stare me down and keep me in line.

WHAT IS THIS ANBFKSLDOFKXLL WHY THEM LMFAO. and magnolia’s god father was elton john. GUYS there were moments where her father said something to her and she thought “elton hadn’t told me about it” GIRL😭😭.

the romance aspect aka the plot go the book was so messed up and dragged out it’s laughable. at the end of the book there was presented three mf boys who were in love with magnolia BAHAHA i was dying. I’m gonna focus now on her and bJ’s relationship because if the book even had a theme it was them.

first of all, the story even started off with bj being a cheater. we didn’t know him or why it happened, but we know he did. meet cute i’d say. there was the scene where he told magnolia about it and they cried together. He, quoting, cried so much he worked himself into a sort of panic attack. omg, are these… the consequences of your own actions??😢😨. she didn’t forgive him back then and they broke up. they’re were childhood besties, so in the timeline of the book they’re not together, but constantly have sleepovers(without sex or anything). also he’s a manwhore and fucks everything that moves. he’s that obsessed with magnolia that had sex with all of the girls she hated and even her friends😍‼️😍‼️. and this is the explanation of his actions from his friend’s perspective:

“You have sex with other people and tell her because when you do, it makes her sad and her being sad about that validates your feelings for her. She still cares. She wouldn’t be sad otherwise. She’s sad that I’m sleeping with other people, it must be because she still has feelings for me. You do it to feel close to her.”

im speechless. why then he hadn’t fucked her mom?? it would be bonding to death and im sure he would feel the closest he ever had to magnolia🥺🥺. can even have threesome with the both parents for further effect. he must be crying over every orgasm he has, because he feels guilty for not being with magnolia. poor boy😞. btw my favorite scene from the book was this one:

1. bj gets a blowjob from the bartender in the bar next to the restroom
2. magnolia goes to the restroom cause she forgot her hair clip there
3. seeing the scene she runs away
4. next morning she knocks on his door
5. he lets her in and they start hugging
6. And then, quoting, my(BJ) hotel door opens, and Bartender fills the frame wearing my T-shirt and nothing else.

and they say romance is dead. also, don't get me wrong, i love toxic relationship in books, but it should be mutual toxicity. magnolia and bj's relationship is not fucking toxic, it's abusive from bj's side. he's fucking up with magnolia's mind and not only hoeing around, but shove it right in her face. he doesn't respect her as a person. he's seeing her as a toy which he can't let go. but due to bad written characters(and everything for this matter) i coudn't even sympathise magnolia about being abused, cause she's completely hollow and uninteresting character as everybody else in this book.

They all say yes because I don’t think anyone’s ever said no to me besides Parks.

omg yes, she’s not like the others. she a fucking cardboard who cares about clothes and can say no to bj. she’s so special and precious we need to gatekeep❤️❤️

It’s going off. I’m not okay. I feel like I’ve fallen into a hole. No edge to grab, no end in sight, arse in your stomach, stomach in your throat, heart in the hand of a girl who’s holding someone else’s—just a kind of forever falling, this fucking suspending always falling, which is sort of what it feels like to be in love with her at this point anyway.

these bitches not only boring but also very dramatic for no reason im losing my mind. why the fuck she or he was “dying” like this every chapter? magnolia acted shocked every time she caught bj with some other girl like it's something exotic. and in every goddamn chapter they were just going on about how they love each other and how their love is ruining them, while bj, even counting his "obsession" over magnolia and abusive behaviour, had more chemistry with a cocaine line than with her.

now, the best part of the bj was his ✨sexist part✨

“It killed me when you were with him,” he tells the window.
I wriggle closer to him, rest my head on his shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

aww the poor boy is jealous that his girl is spending time with someone while he’s fucking the whole city. we all sorry for u, bj babe it must be so hard to be you😢.

“Get the fuck out of my face.”
He grabs my wrists and holds them tight and I don’t want him to let them go because I’m scared of what happens when he does. “Oh, is that what you want now?” he yells, and we’re devolving.

no, i want u to die but not all dreams come true. it’s very sexy, that bj thinks that he has any rights to be jealous or aggressive toward magnolia, while he’s a fucking piece of cunt who cant keep his dick in the pants for more than ten minutes.

one of their female friends told him that she cheated on her boyfriend and he gave her his precious opinion:

“You’re sleeping with Jo.”
She gives me a look. “I know.”
“Fuck, I hate girls.” I shake my head at her.

уеба💋💋

but if u think that he’s the only hypocrite and mysogynist there, then u so fucking wrong.

Magnolia rolls her eyes and goes around hugging all of our friends, and especially not hugging Taura, whom I toss a consolatory smile to.

so she thought that her boyfriend cheated on her with their friend, so she forgives him while not forgiving her😃. this couple fucking deserves all the shit they’re going through and more. i hope they’re going to fucking die together. i wish these cunts would drown in their own shit. the mysogyny is the real theme of this book tho. y’all saying that this book is realistic?? go fuck yourself. no character development would repair the damage i have after reading this. all of the side characters pushing bj and magnolia together and saying that parks should be with him, because they’re soulmates. there was literally no one(beside magnolia’s nanny who eventually turned out to be her dad’s mistress LOL) who said that bj is toxic. everyone, absolutely everyone said that they’re belong together and he’s the love of her life. their parents were fucking cheering when they started dating again. i’m so grossed out it’s insane. romanticising relationships where the girl takes back the man who’s fucking up their lives must be fucking shameful.

“But he’s just…. sort of… stupid. Especially with you.” He sounds annoyed about that part.
“With me?” I smile, feeling awfully high and mighty.
“Yep.”

is it her fucking problem that he’s stupid?? does it seem like igaf? he’s 25 year old. when i first found out i couldn’t believe it, because even to call him teenage boy would be an insult to other teenage boys. the romanticisation of toxic relationship here is fucking insane. is my reaction on all of this supposed to be like this??

omg he’s so obsessed with her, that he’s thinking about her while having sex with other girls? omg this is so romantic💗.
omg he’s snorting cocaine because of how in love he is with her and can’t get over their relationship? i want what they have💗.
omg he has 22 tattoos about her and she’s thinking about them while having sex with another man? they’re soulmates💗.

just tell me, how from all the spermatozoids their fathers spilled these cunts were the ones who made it? HOW?

mm and now we’re getting closer to the most interesting parts. namely,✨the love square✨

so, magnolia in this book had 3 love interests. tom england(her childhood crush), christian what-the-fuck-is-his-name-even(he’s their friend i guess. i don’t remember who he is really) and ofc blowjob. i didn’t expect to laugh more than i already had, but here we are.

at first there were only bj and tom. at the beginning magnolia and tom started to fake dating(for who-the-fuck-knows-what reason) and then they fell in love. fyi he’s in love with his dead brother’s wife, but then suddenly turned out that he’s in love with magnolia too. for my sake let’s pretend that they have some relationship development and chemistry🙏🏼

“I(Tom) watched you hurt her in that club, thought I could help her level the playing field. But now I think I’m a bit in love with her—”
I(BJ) nod, getting it. “She has that effect on people”
“I know,” he says, solemn. “I’m sorry.”
I clock him. “For what?”
“Because I like you, man.” He smacks me on the back. “But if I have a shot here, I’m taking it.”
I give him a look. “Same, bro.”

can someone tell that it’s the dialogue between 25 year old and 31 year old?? can someone at least tell that that’s how people talking in real life?? and then christian’s “girlfriend” revealed that he’s in love with magnolia too BAHAHHAH LMAO I LOST IT

BJ looks from me to Christian and then cries to the sky. “Are you fucking kidding?” He looks down at me with wild eyes, wide and sore. “Is two of us not enough?”

IM ROLLING OM THE FLOOR. JESSA HASTINGS REALLY DECIDED TO FUCK UP THE WHOLE BOOK. THE COMEDY QUEEN FR. WHERE IS MY ORGY ? WHAT A WASTED OPPORTUNITY IS THIS UH??

“Why the fuck are we talking about this? Again. We’re not talking about how I fucked up, we’re talking about your colossal fuck up. With my best friend. Who’s in love with you now.”

save me. pls save me. i can get over never written threesomes and i can bear dumb dialogues and dumb ass scenes. but what i can’t get over is when a manwhore and LOVE INTEREST calling the “girl of his dreams” a slut for having sex with another man.

“You love me. Everyone knows you love me.” I gesture around us. “I know you love me. Your boyfriend(Tom) knows you love me. Even you know you love me. Except you’re fucking him,” I yell, and I sound savage. “So who’s the real slut?”

ебанная свинья right here❤️‍🔥. im speechless. no comment literally idk what to say. im fucking sick. i can throw up. this piece of shit was forcing her to date other guys, cause she tried to get over his cheating and now he’s slut shaming her for that?? very swoon- worthy im fucking done. this book and all the characters in it are abhorrent. im disgusted by every single character beside maybe tom (but the thing is with him, is that he knew magnolia since she was a teenager and said he had a crush on her for A LONG TIME😃😃. no comments im tired). and the fact that i know that magnolia and bj are gonna be together eventually fucking disgusts me the most. the author tried to explain magnolia’s behaviour by her having daddy issues, but the leads are gonna end up together so why does it matter? this book is a cumwipe with a big portion of the romantization of serious illnesses, toxic relationships and drugs addiction. in short, everything i’ve ever wanted in one book.

lastly, everyone cried at the end, but i didn’t. i just laughed my ass off. the hilarious part was that the reveal of the girl bj cheated with should’ve been shocking, but i was lost because i didn’t even remember who the girl was in the first place. and his thoughts about the cheating were my last straw.

And you want to know the god honest truth? I wasn’t thinking of Parks. All I was thinking about was that was what I wanted. It was what I wanted. I was choosing it. That was what I wanted to be doing and I was doing it, and I had a girl in my hands that I wanted there, and we were touching and kissing and that was what I wanted.

hopefully everyone has a good day after that and all bj's stans satisfied with this plot twist. and i'm not judging u for loving certain books, that's fine all of us have different tastes, but i AM judging u if u want magnolia to stay with bj even after what he'd done. this is unacceptable and i think i already explained why.