"

"Big hair, big tits, big trouble, but the one you come home to is...not screaming for attention because she knows she's good enough..."

Can you feel me physically cringing away from this book?

I remember all of the commercials for Fresh Off the Boat and wow - it looked good. Wholesome, funny. I never actually got around to watching it...but it's been hanging out in the back of my mind for a while now.

So, when I saw this book, I immediately picked it up.

Annnnd...my verdict is that I haven't even seen the TV show but it's probably better.

I had a hard time putting my finger on it at first because...I wanted to like this book so much.

There were definitely moments of it where I was like YES. THIS. This is hilarious.

"Good food makes me want to hit a punching bag like, Dat's right motherfucker. You done did it there."

And there were moments where I kind of laughingly rolled my eyes at him (there were moments that he was full of himself, but in kind of a funny way).

"People ask me what my greatest strengths are and I say perspective."

But ultimately, this book was NOT for me...and if I had to say why...it is the ego thing.

If you read the story, he always puts himself on a pedestal. He always seems to come out as the smartest, wittiest and most humble guy in the room - in short, he is the "cool guy" and woe be anyone who threatens that image.

His jokes (if that was what they were), just didn't land for me. I think it's because of the spite and venom he puts into them.

"He didn’t understand that I didn’t hate white people. I hated whiteness."

He felt like a very mean person, the kind of makes "jokes" cause they like taking digs at you and if you get offended, they throw up their hands and say you are too sensitive.

He had this huge thing about people who weren't of his culture making similar food.

I mean I can kind of get why. If someone were to make a Mexican Lasagna, sushi tortellini, or a fettuccini alfredo with red sauce... yeah it is going to be a bit weird to me but hey, they're exploring and having fun with food...not tearing down a coliseum or knocking over the leaning tower of Pisa.

But according to Eddie, makingfood outside of your culture is among the most heinous of actions.

"If you like our food, great, but don’t come tell me you’re gonna clean it up, refine it, or elevate it because it’s not necessary or possible. We don’t need fucking food missionaries to cleanse our palates."

This rant (carried throughout the book) became stale after the second joke.

He just seemed so furious that people exist...living their lives...and not bothering him at all...but the fact that they are there just makes him angry.

He also says this:

"Somehow, food has become a social equalizer."

but spends so much of the book ragging on people who try to cook "his" food.

I really wanted to ask him - does any of this matter? The hatred that you hold in your heart? The fury that takes over your words?

"What they didn’t understand is that after you have the money and degrees, you can’t buy your identity back. I wasn’t worried about degrees, but I cared about my roots."

In the grand scheme of things, if someone tries one of your recipes and then changes it a bit - it shows that they are interested and learning. Food and culture is something to be celebrated - not hoarded and penalized.

All in all, I feel like this book had a lot of potential. Either as a hard-hitting memoir or as a funny take on life...but combining the both just left me confused and made me not want to finish the book.

I just...I don't think I'd ever want to meet him. I think I'd rather do just about anything.

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