How to Manage Peer Review Feedback

In my 18 years at Amazon, I've seen more careers transformed by the next 2 weeks than by the other 50 weeks of the year combined. It's performance review season. Most people rush through it like a chore, seeing it as an interruption to their "real work." The smartest people I know do the opposite: they treat these upcoming weeks as their highest-leverage opportunity of the year. After handling over fifty feedback requests, self-reviews, and upward feedback 𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 for nearly two decades, I've learned this isn't just another corporate exercise. This is when careers pivot, accelerate, or stall. Your feedback directly impacts compensation, career trajectories, and professional growth. Your self-assessment frames how leadership views your entire year's work. This isn't busywork—it's career-defining work, but we treat it with as much enthusiasm as taking out trash. Here's how to make the most of it: 𝗚𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝘄𝗼𝗻'𝘁 - Ask yourself: "What perspective am I uniquely positioned to share?" Everyone will comment on the obvious wins and challenges. Your job is to provide insights others miss, making your feedback instantly invaluable. 𝗗𝗲𝗳𝗲𝗮𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗲𝗻𝗰𝘆 𝗯𝗶𝗮𝘀 - I keep a living document for every person I work with. When something feedback-worthy happens—good or challenging—it goes in immediately. No more scrambling to remember projects from months ago. This ensures specific, timely examples when needed. 𝗠𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳-𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 - Don't just list tasks—craft a narrative. Lead with behaviors that drove impact. Show your growth in handling complex situations, influencing across teams, and making difficult trade-offs. Demonstrate self-awareness by acknowledging areas where you're actively improving. 𝗙𝗼𝗿 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝘁𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗮𝗴𝗲𝗿 - They receive little feedback all year. Focus on how they help you succeed and specific ways they could support you better. Make it dense with information—this might be their only chance to learn how to serve their team better. 𝗢𝗻 𝗴𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 - The difference between criticism and valuable input is showing you genuinely want the other person to succeed. When that intention shines through, you don't need to walk on eggshells. Be specific about the behavior, its impact, and how it could improve. 𝗥𝗲𝗰𝗲𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗹 𝗶𝘀 𝗮 𝘀𝘂𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗽𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿 - Good constructive feedback often feels like an insult at first. But here's the mindset shift that changed everything for me: feedback is a gift. It's direct guidance on improvement from those who work closest with you. When you feel that defensive instinct rise, pause and focus on understanding instead. Here's your challenge: This year, treat performance review season like the most important work you'll do. Because in terms of long-term impact on careers—both yours and others'—it just might be.

Your brain can't process praise and criticism simultaneously. That's why traditional feedback methods are harmful. But there's ONE discovery that creates growth, not resistance: Direct. Then Connect. Neuroscience shows our brains process praise and criticism through completely different neural pathways. That's why the "feedback sandwich" fails so spectacularly. When we buffer criticism with praise... The brain cannot process these mixed signals effectively. People see through it anyway. Studies show 74% of professionals detect sandwich feedback within seconds. Having directly managed 300+ people and coached over 100 founders on leadership and culture, I’ve seen the real impact of feedback. Here’s what works... Two simple steps: 1. DIRECT: First, get permission and deliver unfiltered feedback. "May I share some observations about your presentation?" Then state exactly what needs improvement. This activates voluntary participation, and increases receptivity greatly. 2. CONNECT: Then, separately reaffirm their value "Your contributions remain vital to our success." The key? Complete separation between these steps. Direct feedback gives a clean signal about what needs to change. Connection maintains psychological safety. They know their status isn't threatened. Getting permission isn’t a minor detail - it’s crucial. It fosters respect and trust before you give tough feedback. Setting the stage for it to land well. The neuroscience behind this is clear: A Gallup study shows regular feedback mechanisms result in 14.9% increase in employee engagement and a 21% increase in profitability. Companies implementing this see remarkable results: • Cisco saw 54% faster resolution of team conflicts • Adobe reported 30% reduction in employee turnover • Pixar found 22% higher willingness to challenge assumptions • Microsoft under Nadella accelerated deployment cycles by 31% The traditional sandwich approach can feel safer, but it creates distrust. Direct Then Connect can feel scarier, but it builds psychological safety. Humans are wired to prioritize belonging above almost everything. When feedback threatens our status, our brains go into protection mode. When feedback becomes clear and non-threatening, learning accelerates. Implementing this approach requires courage. You have to trust your relationship is strong enough to handle direct feedback. But that's the paradox: By being more direct, you actually build stronger relationships. Try it with your team this week. You might feel uncomfortable at first, but watch what happens to your culture. When feedback becomes clear and non-threatening, learning accelerates. And companies that learn faster win. - If you liked this post? Follow us for more insights on conscious leadership and building companies from the inside out. Proud to coach with Inside-Out Leadership: executive coaching by trained coaches who have founded, funded, scaled, & sold their own companies.

In my first year as a manager I alienated one of my reports by giving him too much feedback in a direct and pointed way. The feedback was "right" but delivered to bluntly and thus unwelcome. Just because you “can” give feedback doesn’t mean you should. The power of your feedback comes from the trust you build with your reports. Here is how you can build it: The most important thing to understand is that even if you have the institutional authority to deliver this feedback (your title), you need the relational authority before you can deliver it effectively. Read this line again please - doing so will help you avoid either giving pain or making problems for yourself (I did both). This means that your reports need to trust and respect you before they will listen to any feedback you give. You can build this trust and respect by: 0) Being Empathetic I was too blunt. I thought that only being right or wrong mattered, not how I said things or the judgment in my tone and words. I lacked Emotional Intelligence (EQ). How you say things matters, and this means not just the words you say but the real intent behind them. My intention in that early review was not truly focused on helping the person, but rather on scolding him into better behavior. I'm not surprised he reacted poorly to it. 1) Being Consistent Good managers are consistently giving feedback—both bad and good—to their reports. Make sure you are recognizing and acknowledging your employees’ strengths as much (or more) than you are pointing out their areas for improvement. This will make them feel comfortable with you pointing out room for improvement because they know you see them for more than their flaws. 2) Never surprise someone with a review. This is related to point 1. If you are consistently giving small pieces of feedback, a more serious piece of negative feedback should not blindside your employee. They should know that it is coming and understand what the issue is. 3) Deliver corrective feedback ASAP, and use clear examples. As soon as you see a pattern of behavior that needs to be addressed, address it using clear evidence. This gives the employee the chance to reflect on the behavior while it is still fresh in their minds, not months later when their review comes around. 4) Check in to confirm that you are being heard correctly Ask the employee if they understand the feedback you are giving and why you are giving it. 5) Be specific enough to drive change The more specific behaviors and examples you can use to support your feedback, the better your employee can understand that you aren’t speaking from a place of dislike or bias. This also gives them more concrete references to inform their behavior change. Readers—What other ways do you build a relationship before giving feedback? (Or, how have you messed this up?)