Daily Practice for Receiving Feedback

I stopped treating feedback like criticism and started treating it like free consulting. Because feedback isn’t about your worth. It’s about your blind spots. Most people waste feedback. They get defensive. They explain themselves. They ignore it. And then they wonder why nothing changes. ✅ How to treat feedback like free consulting (the real playbook): 1️⃣ Stop waiting for annual reviews. If you only hear feedback once a year, you’re already behind. Create your own feedback loop monthly, even weekly. 2️⃣ Ask sharper questions. Don’t ask “How am I doing?” Ask “What’s one thing I could do that would change the way you see me as a leader?” 3️⃣ Separate emotion from data. Feedback stings. That’s normal. But behind the sting is data. Extract it, use it, move forward. 4️⃣ Interrogate the source. Not all feedback is equal. Filter advice through one lens: Has this person achieved what I want to achieve? 5️⃣ Demand specifics. “Be more strategic” is useless. Push for examples. What did you say? What should you have said instead? Feedback without examples is noise. 6️⃣ Look for patterns, not one-offs. One person’s opinion is bias. Three people saying the same thing is truth. Patterns reveal where you need to act. 7️⃣ Stop explaining. The moment you start justifying, you close the door to honesty. Take it in, say thank you, move on. 8️⃣ Test it in real time. Don’t just collect notes. Try the new behaviour in your next meeting, pitch, or email. Feedback without testing is just theory. 9️⃣ Keep receipts. Document feedback and your response to it. When it’s time for promotion, you show the growth curve — not just claim it. 🔟 Flip the mirror. Give feedback as much as you take it. The best way to sharpen your own lens is to hold one up for someone else. We call it “feedback.” The unprepared call it “criticism.” The ambitious call it “an edge.” What’s the most valuable piece of feedback you ever received?

When we receive "constructive" feedback, our brain typically goes into fight-or-flight because the feedback threatens our false identity as perfectionists who never make mistakes. It's not just that our WORK PRODUCT is flawed; we feel flawed. We then default into physical, emotional and cognitive contraction -- receiving the information defensively or aggressively. To be effective at receiving feedback, we must be intentional and strategic about what we say and how we act when the feedback is being conveyed -- otherwise our default nervous system reactions will contaminate our thinking and our behavior. This will harm both our learning/growth and our relationship with the feedback giver -- 2 core pillars of excelling professionally. So how do we override our default reactions and instead signal -- to the feedback giver AND to our own brain -- openness, curiosity and a growth mindset? Here are 4 of the practical tips I shared during "The Art & Science of Receiving Feedback" breakouts I led at the Fisher Phillips retreat last week: 💫 NON-VERBALS: override unconscious physical contraction across the top 5 non-verbals: posture (90°+ between spine and pelvis to overcome "bracing"), arms (don’t create a barrier), eyes (un-squint), mouth (unlock jaw and lips), and breath (deepen to diaphragm and lengthen each cycle). 💫 FIRST UTTERANCE: make your first response either gratitude (a sentence of appreciation) OR pause (if you're too emotional to express gratitude, apply Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor's 90-Second Rule) to buy time before speaking. Requesting time to reflect and circling back later that day or next day is highly effective. (We do NOT need to respond substantively in real time, despite our mind’s illusion.) 💫 PARAPHRASE THE FEEDBACK: your first substantive response should NOT be agreement or evaluation; it should summarize it in your own words. This increases comprehension, demonstrates understanding, signals openness, and builds trust (people trust those who understand their views). 💫 ASK 1-2 DEEPENING QUESTIONS: again delaying evaluation, identify 1-2 questions that deepen the discussion beyond what was initially shared by the feedback giver -- demonstrating openness, engagement, and the ability to take the feedback to a deeper or more nuanced level. Then -- AND ONLY THEN -- are you positioned to begin evaluating the validity of the feedback. And yet, as a result of these initial responses, you will have overridden your default reactions, built trust with the feedback giver, cemented your orientation into a growth mindset, and primed your brain to maximally comprehend and evaluate the feedback. Having a simple, science-based road map in those uncomfortable feedback conversations can be a real game-changer. Otherwise, we tend to "shoot from the hip" -- and that is NOT when our highest and best self emerges.... Would love to hear any thoughts, additions, or insights you have on the above!

"Feedback is a gift. It's an opportunity to learn and grow" At Google, we believe in the power of feedback to drive improvement. Sometimes feedback can be tough to hear. But taking the time to unpack it, understand the perspective, and reflect on it is crucial. Why feedback matters: - It reveals blind spots we cannot see ourselves - It accelerates learning by shortcutting trial and error - It demonstrates that others are invested in your success - It creates alignment between perception and reality How to receive feedback effectively: 1. Approach with curiosity, not defensiveness When receiving feedback, your first reaction might be to justify or explain. Instead, listen deeply and ask clarifying questions: "Can you give me a specific example?" or "What would success look like to you?" 2. Separate intention from impact Remember that well-intentioned actions can still have unintended consequences. Focus on understanding the impact rather than defending your intentions. 3. Look for patterns across multiple sources Individual feedback may reflect personal preferences, but patterns across multiple sources often reveal genuine opportunities for growth. 4. Prioritize actionable insights Not all feedback requires action. Evaluate which points will have the greatest impact on your effectiveness and focus your energy there. 5. Follow up and close the loop Demonstrate your commitment by acknowledging the feedback, sharing your action plan, and following up on your progress. Creating a feedback-rich environment: - Model vulnerability by asking for feedback yourself - Recognize and celebrate when people implement feedback successfully - Make it routine through structured check-ins rather than waiting for formal reviews At Google, we've learned that organizations with robust feedback cultures innovate faster, adapt more quickly to market changes, and build more inclusive workplaces. Let's commit to seeing feedback not as criticism but as a valuable investment in our collective future. The discomfort is temporary, but the growth is lasting. #motivation #productivity #mindset

“Keep doing what you’re doing” isn't feedback. It’s fluff. Use these 3 steps to flip feedback into faster growth. 1. Ask for facts, not feelings 💡 Most people default to soft praise or surface-level input. You need data. What it sounds like: “Thanks for the feedback. Can you give me a recent example so I can see what good or bad looked like in that moment?” This anchors the feedback to real behavior. No guessing. No assumptions. 2. Add your own hypothesis 💡 If you feel the feedback missed context, give it. But do it fact-first. What it sounds like: “I hear where you’re coming from and would like to share some additional context. One thing to consider in that case is that I actually did [X] and [Y] to avoid the issue. Curious if that changes your view?” This isn't defensive. It's smart context-setting. Feedback should be a 2-way calibration. 3. Turn feedback into your next step 💡 Don’t leave the convo floating. Ask for a bar to hit. What it sounds like: “Based on this, what would great look like next time? How will I know I’ve nailed it? Any metrics I should keep in mind?” Now you’ve turned feedback into a metric. Something you can actually do and measure. 👉 Bonus tip: If feedback received hits hard, buy yourself some time. “I appreciate you sharing this with me. Can I take the day to process this and circle back with a few follow-up questions tomorrow?” This keeps you composed and strategic. Don’t react in the moment if you’re not ready. _______ Bottom line: You don’t get better by getting feedback. You get better by engineering it to be useful towards your growth goals. And remember, not asking for feedback isn’t the answer. Whether you ask or not, the other person is still thinking about it. So you’re better off giving yourself the chance to act on it to be set up for success. You’ve got this! _______ ♻️ Repost this to help others who also want to take control of their career. ➕ Follow Tiffany Uman for daily posts to land better roles, grow faster and earn more.

Good: → "Thanks for the feedback." Better: → "Thanks for pointing that out. I'll try to do better next time." Best: → "I appreciate you taking the time to provide constructive feedback on my presentation style. I understand your point about pacing & will consciously work on varying my speed in the future." Next level: → "I actively solicit feedback after each presentation. I've found that asking specific questions like, "What was the most impactful part of the presentation?" or "What could have been clearer?" yields the most actionable insights. I then meticulously track & analyze this feedback to identify patterns and areas for consistent improvement." Reality: → "Sometimes, feedback stings. It's easy to get defensive, especially when you're passionate about your work. The reality is, even the harshest feedback often contains a kernel of truth. The key is to separate the message from the delivery, focus on the intent, and identify actionable steps for growth. Remember, feedback is a gift, even when wrapped in prickly paper." Accepting feedback takes practice sometimes. Have you ever felt stung by a constructive feedback? Share your stories before.

Feedback is a gift — except when it’s wrapped in ambiguity. “𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒍𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝑬𝒙𝒆𝒄𝒖𝒕𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝑷𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆” is a classic example. It sounds insightful but offers no map, no metrics, no next step. What if the real work starts by decoding what that feedback was trying to say? If you are the one that received such feedback, start here: 🔅𝐐𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧: Articulate what you mean by executive presence and ask what would they add or subtract to that definition. For eg, "Bob, To me, Executive Presence is an authentic way to command the room. How do you see it?" 🔅𝐃𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐫: Ask what would be the behaviour to demonstrate that you have it. Eg: "Bob, I take care to prepare well for important stakeholder conversations and pay attention to the audience in the room. I also network with my stakeholders before the meeting. What else do you find missing? What behaviour will demonstrate to everyone that I have worked on it?" 🔅𝐌𝐚𝐩 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐅𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤: Find the link between the behaviour stated and the input, process, output, as highlighted in the framework. Now you know what needs to be built. More on the framework in my blogs in comments. 🔅𝐃𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐌𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐒𝐮𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 (𝐌𝐨𝐒): Define your MoS and share it with your manager/stakeholder who gave you the feedback in your next catchup and share progress against it. Ask their feedback. If you are the one working directly on Executive Presence (without feedback) and are getting overwhelmed, know that: 🔅It's a 𝐣𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐲 not a one-day miracle. 🔅Each element in the Executive Presence framework is like a muscle and needs 𝐩𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐞. 🔅While going to the visible elements directly looks like a shortcut, you will not be able to sustain it. So work 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲. If you are still asking where to start: 🔅𝐈𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐬 you already are good in the framework and keep whatever you are doing well already. 🔅For the areas that need improvement, c𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐜𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐥𝐲 𝐛𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐝, 𝐩𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐞 & 𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐞 by taking one area of focus every quarter. 🔅Ask for 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 from those who care enough. 🔅𝐆𝐞𝐭 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐚 𝐜𝐨𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐨𝐫. #coaching #executivecoaching #presence #feedback

How you receive feedback Determines how successful you become (in career and life). 4 proven tips to help you gracefully accept the gift of feedback: 1/ Listen actively Why: By approaching feedback with curiosity, you show a willingness to listen to understand (vs. to respond) the other person's perspective. How: Maintain eye contact, nod to acknowledge understanding, and wait until the person has finished speaking before responding. Remember, listening doesn't mean you agree with everything. "Thank you for sharing your thoughts on my presentation. I'm curious to learn more. Can you elaborate on the areas you think need improvement and what advice you have on how I can approach these differently?" 2/ Seek diverse perspectives Why: Asking for feedback from different people gives you a clearer picture of what you’re doing well and where you can improve. Plus, it helps you spot patterns in how others see your work. How: After receiving feedback on risk management from one person, reach out to others for additional perspective. "I'm looking to improve the quality of my risk management and reporting within my program. Do you have any advice for me in this area? Your input will help me de-risk execution and provide more accurate representation to stakeholders." 3/ Take time to process and reflect Why: Feedback can sting at first contact. Taking time to process it helps you manage your emotional response and consider it objectively. You can then identify key takeaways and develop a plan for implementing changes. How: "I appreciate your feedback on my communication style. I want to take some time to reflect on your suggestions and consider how to incorporate them into my interactions with the team. Can we schedule a follow-up meeting to discuss my action plan next week?" 4/ Express gratitude and close the loop Why: Expressing gratitude shows that you value the person's time and effort in providing feedback. Following up proves you’re serious about improving. How: "Thank you for sharing your feedback on my project estimations. Your input on factoring dependency review timelines has given me valuable perspective. Attached is the revised proposal based on your suggestions. I welcome any additional feedback you may have." PS: Feedback is not all-or-nothing. Even if you don't agree with everything, there's usually something valuable to take away. PPS: How gracefully you handle feedback directly correlates with whether others will give it to you (again). Image Credit: Roberto Ferraro

Yes, feedback is a gift. But unlike most gifts, feedback is better received than given. Don't give feedback until you have solicited it! Don't dish it out before you prove you can take it. To solicit feedback, 1. Have a go-to question. If you just say, "Do you have any feedback for me?" you're wasting your breath. I can already tell you the answer: "Oh, no, everything is fine." You need to ask people in a way that demands an answer. To learn more, https://lnkd.in/g7swskb2 2. Embrace the discomfort. No matter how good your go-to question is, the other person is going to feel uncomfortable. The only way out is through. Close your mouth and count to six slowly in your head. Almost nobody can endure six full seconds of silence. They'll tell you something. 3. Listen with the intent to understand, not to respond. Even though you just solicited criticism, when you hear it you're probably going to feel defensive. That is ok--you're human and your humanity is your greatest asset. But you do have to manage that natural defensiveness. Simple technique: ask a follow up question. Get curious not furious. 4. Reward the candor. If you agree, fix the problem, then ask the person whether you over- or under-corrected. If you disagree, pause. Think about what they said and voice any areas of agreement. You probably didn't disagree with 100% of the words coming out of their mouth. Then, have a respectful disagreement. Respectful disagreement builds better relationships--it is actually a reward for the candor for you to explain why you disagree. That's way better than an insincere "thank you for the feedback" which feels like a big brush off. More here: https://lnkd.in/gU9nkjfs