Tag Archive | Catching Up

First Rejection & Snow

Jan8

Of the year. And it’s fine, it’s part of the process. It’s fine. I read somewhere once that being rejected just means your story has not found a home yet.

What hurts is that in the midst of the s**t show of the last few years, I lost both my physical log and the computer log of where I had submitted which stories.

In the rejection letter they were absolutely both extremely professional and kind. Especially since I had apparently submitted that story to them in 2021.

Sigh.

So many emotions are swirling in me right now. A morass. Not because of the rejection of the story. It will find its home.

And it hit hard because I’m trying to find my footing in my new home. Most of that is working through the mental state that I arrived in. My home is still in disarray, and when I lay in bed and close my eyes I see my old room. My old life.

Friday night & Saturday morning we experienced our first snowfall that stuck. My son still calls California home. Sunday we went to lunch with my niece & her family, and I borrowed a shirt for a wedding next weekend. Wednesday I put my kid on a plane to our old home to visit– and I’m hoping he gets on the plane back 12 days later. I’m hoping he doesn’t get into trouble.

I’m also looking forward to time without him. Time to make a freaking mess of the house so I can put it together the way I want to.

My words are messy, but they are coming out. I’ve got 2 stories I’m working on because well, messy. I wrote a poem.

I talk to my bestie on the phone everyday. She’s still in Cali, and is my backup with the almost adult boy I’m sending out there. I miss her. I have family here but haven’t made friends yet. I also don’t really go anywhere– haven’t even been to the library yet. I do recognize the cashier at the Dollar General, but I’m sure I’m just another face in the day to her.

Well. This has gotten a lot more personal than I thought it would. Hope you don’t mind. My brain doesn’t feel as messy.

Until next time, my lovelies!

Quarter 1 Writing Goals

Apr10

For 2023 I had some goals. Mostly related to writing. So far, I am failing at every single one of them.

1. Write and finish a novel

2. Submit short stories (these are already spot polished and ready to go)

3. Blog every other week

4. Read 150 books

Well, as you can tell from my blogging history this year (up till recently) I have failed on that one. I have written exactly 1 paragraph in the novel I started. This past week. As for books I’ve read… I am at 29 so far.

So I have a few options here. I can hang my head in shame and give up because I’ve already sucked at it and I’m going to keep sucking obviously. But that’s not ME talking, nor is it anyone I love. It’s that tiny, tinny voice in my ear that tells me I’m never going to do anything. I’m not a good writer I’m not pretty enough talented enough… I’m not enough of anything.

Or I could remember that I wrote my stories, published and otherwise, for me. That I enjoy writing them. That it helps me work through ish, even if I’m never a writer making money at writing. Art isn’t about money, or shouldn’t be.

And that might be my problem. Coupled with having been sick off and on (mostly on) since Thanksgiving, I haven’t been able to even think about actually writing. But lately, I’ve been thinking about my story. About where it needs to go and what the story actually is.

Because originally it was going to be a spicy romance. Because that sells. But it doesn’t sell a book to me. Even tho I’ve read romances since forever, I have never written one explicitly. Or am explicit scene. The closest I’ve come is a sweet romance. Although I have written at least one spicy scene, it’s not in a story that’s going anywhere right now.

And that’s ok. The last thing on my mind right now should be writing for cash. Although with prices going the way they are it’d be nice. It’d be helpful. But I need to get in a different mindset because apparently that one strangles me creatively.

So. I wrote a paragraph this week. And for me that’s a big deal. And that’s ok. I’m not in this right now for anything other than me. Of I find homes for my stories that’s wonderful. But I need to get back to writing for that first reader.

Me.

Hello again…

Mar13

 

 

First off, I need to apologize. I have been a bad blogger. I should have been over here beating the drum for my blog post over at the Mocha Memoirs blog (but I will be on there every month on the 10th! check it out!).

Things happen.

One of those things was a co-worked who became gravely ill while at work. Our thoughts and prayers are with him, and I hope he makes a full recovery. It might be a long road, though.

Saturday, Linda took Ray and I to the snow. I hung out, watched Ray playing in it. Watched Teagon throw a fit when people were paying attention. But I also just soaked it in. I haven’t been in the snow, not like this, since I was a preteen maybe?

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These two remind me of a Robert Frost poem. Can you believe this was taken in California in March? Crazy!

 

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My son, I couldn’t see it at the time… but apparently he was makeing a snow teddy bear!

 

Of course he had a blast, and it was so awe inspiring to see him experience it for the first time. He was soaked by the time we left. I was kind of worried because of the Dyspraxia– his motor skills and right and left are a little off. However, he took to sledding like a pro. He got one push off, and he was off! By the time we left, he was falling almost every other step. At that point, his brain needs a break as well as his body.

Sunday he had a fever of 102.9 He apparently brought the stomache flu home from school. Great. Today, Tuesday, he’s feeling much better. Fever broke sometime yesterday, and today he’s been full of wanting to play play play.

Yay!

I did read Beautiful Creatures while on sick child duty— they do sleep alot hehehe. So I will be back probably Thursday with a review on that.

Oh. And go over to the Mocha Memoirs Press blog (i even linked it very nicely for you over there on the side) and check out the outher awesome writers who are going to be blogging on a monthly basis.

Hopefully, things will settle back down. Work of course is stressful, but I’ve always been really good at leaving work at work. The worry for the co-worker doesn’t count, though, and he prognosis is optimistic.

Of course, what else could a Polly Anna say? But it is cautiously optimistic.

And that’s a good thing.

 

I think I’m going to go hug my son. See you all on Thursday. Have any of you read Beautiful Creatures yet ?Have to say, was not what I was expecting at all!