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Last updated on Feb 6, 2025
  1. All
  2. HR Management
  3. Employee Relations

You need to address an employee defensive about their performance. How do you handle the conversation?

When an employee becomes defensive about their performance, the key is to approach the conversation with sensitivity and structure. Here's how to manage it effectively:

  • Start with positives: Highlight their strengths before discussing areas for improvement to create a balanced dialogue.

  • Use specific examples: Provide clear, concrete examples of the performance issues to avoid ambiguity and defensiveness.

  • Encourage self-reflection: Ask open-ended questions that prompt the employee to assess their own performance and identify solutions.

What strategies have you found effective for these challenging conversations?

Employee Relations Employee Relations

Employee Relations

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Last updated on Feb 6, 2025
  1. All
  2. HR Management
  3. Employee Relations

You need to address an employee defensive about their performance. How do you handle the conversation?

When an employee becomes defensive about their performance, the key is to approach the conversation with sensitivity and structure. Here's how to manage it effectively:

  • Start with positives: Highlight their strengths before discussing areas for improvement to create a balanced dialogue.

  • Use specific examples: Provide clear, concrete examples of the performance issues to avoid ambiguity and defensiveness.

  • Encourage self-reflection: Ask open-ended questions that prompt the employee to assess their own performance and identify solutions.

What strategies have you found effective for these challenging conversations?

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Help others by sharing more (125 characters min.)
132 answers
  • Contributor profile photo
    Contributor profile photo
    Urvi J.

    Talent Acquisition Specialist

    (edited)
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    Handling a conversation with a defensive employee requires clarity, empathy, & trust. 1. Acknowledge their efforts. They may feel unrecognized, leading to defensiveness. Acknowledging their work eases tension & opens space for discussion. 2. Allow them to share their side without interruption. Being heard can ease defensiveness. Validate their perspective without necessarily agreeing. 3.Share observations and use factual data for areas needing improvement. Avoid vague feedback, as it can feel like criticism without direction. 4. Shift focus to solutions. “How can we bridge this gap?” Collaborate on steps that work for both. 5. Reinforce Trust. Reassure them feedback is for growth. Maintain ongoing dialogue to prevent defensiveness.

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    19
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    Muzamil Pasha

    People & Culture - ElectricPe

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    Start with a positive and supportive approach. Express that the conversation is meant to help the employee grow, not criticize. Use "we" language instead of "you" to create a collaborative atmosphere.

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    13
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    Rahul Singh

    Head HR Metal and Enabling at Bharat Aluminium Company Limited

    • Report contribution

    To handle a conversation with a defensive employee: 1. Start with positivity and acknowledge strengths 2. Specifically state concerns, focusing on behaviors 3. Listen actively and empathize 4. Avoid blame and criticism 5. Collaborate on a plan for improvement 6. Offer support and resources De-escalation techniques: 1. Stay calm and composed 2. Use open-ended questions 3. Seek common ground 4. Focus on the issue, not the individual

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    10
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    Alekha Chitnis

    Managing People's Strategy & Culture.

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    A Manager need to the following - 1.Communicate on regular basis & write an email with the Trail . 2. Give specific Task and conduct a review , 3. Submit written report on his deliverables. 4.Give feed back & points for improvement. 5. Initiate a Performance Improvement Plan with HR . 6. Give True & Honest Feed back. 7. Weekly Review are important. 8. One has to ensure that during the review the Manager is Respectful and ensures that the employee do not loose his/her self esteem. 9. Use sandwich approach to give feedback always. 10. Take employee into confidence so that he shares his limitations openly And work on his Weakness. 11. Keep high-lighting his Positive & Achievements if any.

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    9
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    Su Patel MCIPD

    Guiding Senior HR Professionals To Reconnect With Purpose, Rediscover Their Passion and Lead With Meaning.

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    Be straight with people and call them out on their defensiveness and let them know they are not being coachable. This needs to be done with care and consideration for them. I often gave open and honest feedback with the level of care that the person thanked me for being direct and giving them feedback where they could implement change. We need to stop being so scared of being straight with people and rather being a stand for them.

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    7
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    Sunil S.

    National Head Human Resources Manager @ Max Life Insurance Company Limited | Change Management, HR Roles, DEI

    • Report contribution

    1. Start with a Positive and Supportive Tone Begin by acknowledging the employee’s contributions and strengths. This helps set a constructive tone and prevents immediate defensiveness. 2. Use Specific and Objective Feedback Focus on facts rather than opinions. Provide clear examples of where improvement is needed, using measurable data or observed behaviors rather than vague statements. 3. Stay Calm and Empathetic If the employee becomes defensive, avoid escalating the situation. Maintain a calm, understanding demeanor and acknowledge their feelings without backing away from the feedback.

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    6
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    Contributor profile photo
    Jagadeesh Reddy

    Vice President HR-Strategic HR Leader- Ex-Tata VP HR I Ex-GMR II Ex-Shapoorji Pallonji I Ex-Nauvata Energy I NCC I Ex-Leighton Offshore I Ex-Meinhardt I Ex-M+W Group.

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    I have seen Performance Management as the most delicate issue manager's need to handle during assessment. It should be used for identifying the areas of strengths and development. The feedback is the fulcrum in any performance management process. When employees feel defensive about their performance, as a manager the following steps should be taken. 1. Provide the data of performance with metrics with respect to expected results and achieved results. 2. Provide the areas of development with supportive leadership. Provide specific goals with timelines. 3. Have the conversation with win-win rather than win-lose stands and ensure that it is a developmental process. 4. Have regular feedback sessions and advise course corrections. 4.

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    6
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    Jun M.

    Global Head People & Culture | Inter IKEA Group | IKEA

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    Addressing defensiveness around performance requires a proactive and continuous approach. I think it's important to prioritize regular, ongoing feedback throughout the year, rather than waiting for annual reviews. This allows for timely course correction and reduces the shock factor. I also encourage employees to seek 360-degree feedback from key stakeholders, providing a well-rounded view of their performance. By combining consistent dialogue with multi-perspective insights, we foster a culture of growth and reduce defensiveness.

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    5
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    Manoj Ojha

    Regional HR Business Partner | Driving Talent Strategy & Leadership | Employee Engagement | Future-Ready Workforce Development

    • Report contribution

    I would acknowledge their perspective and emotions by saying something like, 'I understand that feedback can be challenging, and I appreciate your commitment to your work.' Then, I would use specific, fact-based examples to highlight areas of improvement, ensuring that my tone remains supportive rather than critical.

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    4
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    Sanjeev Upadhyay

    HR Professional, Granules India, USV, Piramal, Alkem, Glenmark - Manufacturing HR, CII National Cluster Award Winner, Innovating through People

    • Report contribution

    This is common issue and I have faced it multiple times. The environment plays an important role here. When I say environment - It means - Trust and Transparency along with Rapport. Giving feedback on performance of an employee is a serious business and it's science and art both. All feedback must be supported with Data and incidences - for that you must have agreed performance parameters. Art - the Manager must know how to steer the conversation. Of-course there are many standard ways like Sandwich technique, Example and self reflection etc. But a Manager must know what will be the correct technique for a particular employee. Sometime one has to be direct and need to be told without mincing the words. Others - text book techniques suffice.

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    3
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