Most Mindset Shifts Fade—This is How to Train Your Brain for Lasting Growth
Karen M. Allen
🌍 International Keynote Speaker 🌱 Growth Mindset Expert 🧠 Creator of Stop & Shift
We really love the idea of a breakthrough moment, don't we?
💡The moment when the lightbulb goes off.
📖The book that changes your perspective.
🎧The podcast that flips a switch in your mind.
Look, those insights truly matter, friend. Those mindshifts are real, and they are powerful. They wake us up and give us a powerful spark. But here’s what most people miss:
That spark isn’t the finish line–it’s the starting line.
A mindset doesn’t shift once and stay fixed forever. Life doesn’t stop testing you after a big “aha” moment. You’ll still face hard meetings, missed opportunities, and unexpected setbacks.
When that happens, old patterns of fear, frustration, and doubt will creep back in. Suddenly, you snap at your kid or freeze in a critical meeting and wonder why you’re back at square one.
🗣️When we expect the shift to be permanent, the slip-up feels like failure.🗣️
But resilience isn’t about never slipping. It’s about how quickly you recover and get yourself back on track.
Sustainable growth comes from learning to navigate what I call The Resilience Loop—a cycle that helps you return to center again and again. It starts with daily practice: building the skill to reset your mind, then redirecting your energy toward what matters most.
True growth isn’t about maintaining perfection; it’s about creating consistency when the pressure is off.
Building Your Mindset Muscle
Why doesn’t that initial breakthrough moment last? The answer is surprisingly simple:
Mindset isn’t a one-time switch—it’s a muscle.
You don’t hit the gym once and call yourself strong. You build strength through daily repetition. Same goes for your mindset.
In Stop & Shift, I talk a lot about the power of neuroplasticity—your brain’s ability to form new neural pathways. Those new connections don’t become your default overnight. It takes awareness, repetition, and intention to strengthen new neural pathways and notice when you’re slipping into default patterns.
Your brain is always changing, but you get to decide what shape those changes take. You can let your experiences define your thoughts—or you can practice shaping your thoughts to define your experiences.
This process, known as self-directed neuroplasticity, is how lasting growth happens.
If that sounds like a grueling process, look at it from this perspective:
If every thought permanently rewired your brain, every bad day would undo you. Instead, you get to build strength slowly, with intention, one small shift at a time. You have the power to gradually decide who you want to be and how you want to see the world.
That’s the foundation of The Resilience Loop—growth as a daily practice, not a destination.
Why “One and Done” Doesn’t Work
Listen, life doesn’t stop testing you after you have an insight.
You’ll still face hard meetings, missed opportunities, and or the occasional “this is not what I planned” moment. You’ll still argue with your partner or get stuck in traffic or open an unexpected bill that makes your stomach drop.
And when that happens? The old patterns will try to creep back in. That’s normal.
Yep, even for me.
Recently, I worked on a project where I’d developed a creative new approach to job postings—story-driven, human, engaging. We wanted the candidates to feel something when they read the job posting.
The team was excited about the concept. Then, at the very last moment, another department stepped in and said we couldn’t use the new format. The reason had nothing to do with the quality of the work—it was about adhering to existing norms and keeping everything uniform.
It was disappointing. It was frustrating, and I immediately started to feel myself making a mental list of all the reasons this was the wrong call.
But then I realized: I was choosing to dwell on disappointment instead of focusing on what I could control—serving my client. And I still had so many opportunities to accomplish that goal.
That moment reminded me: growth isn’t about never slipping. It’s about noticing when you do—and creating space to choose differently. Again and again.
It’s in the small choices you make every single day—the consistent effort that powers The Resilience Loop.
Practicing the Internal Reset
So how do you engage that mindset muscle when life gets hard? You start with The Internal Reset.
Before you can choose a new, productive thought, you have to calm your body's automatic reaction. This intentional pause creates the clarity you need to respond with care.
But here’s the catch: you can only access that grounded space in tough moments if you’ve practiced it in the quiet ones.
That’s why I intentionally cultivate small moments of calm—deep breaths, noticing colors, soaking in stillness. I intentionally develop tools that help me create a calm, consistent emotional baseline. These are reps for your nervous system, training it to return to balance.
I’ve learned that I need to focus on strengthening my neutral zone—the space where I am calm and regulated—so that I can stay grounded in that inner smoothness when the pressure is on.
That growth happens in the moments that could easily pass you by.
The other morning, I took my dog for a walk. Within 20 seconds of being outside I noticed something unusual—it was quiet. Not just quiet, silent. No cars on the road. No airplanes flying above. No other walkers. Just stillness.
And in that quiet, I took a deep, nourishing breath. Every time I take a deep breath, it anchors me in the present. It envelops me in a calm that shields me from the busyness of the outside world.
As I exhaled, my eyes caught a big tree ahead. Its dark green leaves were tipped with a new burgundy hue—truly just the most gorgeous, saturated color. I just let my brain take it in and really enjoy the boost I was getting just from nature.
The beauty of that moment hit me: this isn’t a painting; it’s real life.
Had I been rushing, treated the walk like any other—focused only on exercise or getting it done—I would’ve missed it. Instead, that stillness became a reset and increased my peace.
The Science of a Quiet Moment
Let me nerd out on you for a second and give you the science behind why that moment felt so powerful.
When you pause and notice your surroundings, your brain shifts gears.
Mindfulness practices—like breathing deeply, observing color, or sitting in silence—quiet the brain’s default noise and constant mind-wandering. That drop in mental chatter not only lowers cortisol but also regulates your emotions and gives your nervous system a break.
Scientists have also found that silence itself is healing. Quiet moments can spark new growth in the hippocampus, the part of your brain that supports memory and learning.
Daily deep breathing becomes a mini-reset button, training your body not to overreact to stress and making you more resilient when life gets hectic.
That day I found out that my client wouldn’t be able to use the updated job postings we’d been working on, I was frustrated and bummed because I wanted to serve my client the best I could. But if I got stuck in that negative spiral, I would miss other opportunities to help them succeed.
So before I let those feelings spill into my actions, I took a deep breath and refocused.
I was able to move through the frustration quickly because I’d been building my equanimity (or inner smoothness) in a million small moments beforehand.
Think of it this way: every deep breath and every moment of noticing is like a mini-reset button for your brain. This internal reset is the foundation of the Resilience Loop, giving you the clarity and calm needed to move into the third component: strategic action.
The Strategic Redirect
Once you’ve reset, you can move into the next phase of The Resilience Loop: The Strategic Redirect. This is where internal calm becomes external impact.
When I bumped up against that discouraging moment with my client, I had a choice:
I chose the second. I checked in with myself, took a deep breath, and redirected my energy toward what I could influence.
Not every challenge is a Great Wall meant to block you. Sometimes it’s just a bump in the road. The key is recognizing when it’s not worth pouring your energy into resistance.
Energy is finite, and you get to choose where it goes.
For me, instead of dwelling on what we lost, I stayed aligned with the bigger goal. This is the difference between letting a setback paralyze you and using it as an invitation to make progress elsewhere.
You could think about this as an example of “picking your battles.” But words are powerful, even the words we use to describe an experience in our own minds. “Pick your battles” can foster a combative energy that isn’t always productive.
This wasn’t a battle; it was a difference in visions. I wasn’t saving energy for a different fight. I was choosing to channel my energy into another aspect of the project.
Sometimes you need to pick your battles, yes. But more importantly, choose your energy. Not every “no” is a potential battle. Sometimes it’s just an opportunity to send your energy toward something that could have an even greater impact. Being able to recognize the difference is key to a resilient mindset.
Embracing the Growth Cycle
Growth is never a straight path forward. It’s a cycle—an ongoing loop of noticing, resetting, and redirecting.
You’re not failing when you slip up; you’re just getting another chance to practice. That’s what makes growth sustainable.
You can stop worrying about permanent changes, and you can stop wasting your energy trying to figure out why those changes don’t stick. Because you have a consistent framework for handling any setback.
The real shift isn’t in a single “aha” moment. It’s in the small, daily choices you make—how you think, how you respond, how you lead.
That’s the work. That’s the growth. And it never stops.
Today, look for an opportunity to close the Resilience Loop. Notice a moment when you feel the frustration building. Stop. Take three deep breaths. And then ask yourself, Where can I put this energy instead?
📋 Key Takeaways:
Every time you pause, breathe, and refocus, you’re training your brain for lasting growth. That’s how small, mindful choices create real transformation—one loop at a time.