Reflections on September 11th and rebuilding a sense of service

This weekend will mark 20 years since September 11, 2001. I wanted to share a brief reflection on that day and the parallels of our current COVID experience.  20 years on, I think it's important to highlight how much we can learn and grow from what was a truly horrible experience. I’m hopeful this reflection will help everyone get through what is undeniably a difficult time.

I’ve opted to do this in writing because I have found it too hard to speak about in person.

Sept 11, 2001 was my first day in graduate school at Harvard, in Boston, MA.

That morning was our student initiation for all of the new first-year PhD students in the physics department. We were in the main Jefferson-building lecture theatre getting an introduction to the department. At that point it was probably the most exciting day of my life – fulfilling a dream to study at what I considered the greatest academic institution in the world.

Not long into this first meeting of the whole class we were interrupted by a department manager who let us know that there had been an aircraft accident in New York - it was probably a small general aviation accident. Being a native New Yorker this was clearly not great news, but then again, accidents happened all the time. 

A short while later, the same manager came back to announce that the accident actually involved a commercial jetliner that had crashed in Manhattan. This was horrible news, but again, quite an emotionally distant occurrence in a sense. Maybe 10-15 minutes later and the third interruption by the department manager suggested something much worse was happening.  

We were told that a commercial jetliner crashed into the World Trade Center, and that it did not appear to be an accident. I remembered the 1993 WTC bombing and was deeply saddened to see another attack on this iconic building in my home city.

We finished our meeting a bit early, and in a somber mood. But on leaving the lecture theatre, a somber mood turned to horror.

At the time, there was construction on a new suite of offices for the first year PhD students. There had been a lot of construction activity as the builders were a bit late finishing the project. That generally meant a lot of construction noise, but as we exited there was silence filled only by the eerie and unmistakeable sound of a small radio with the volume turned up very high.

As we emerged from the lecture theatre and walked out the front door of Jefferson there was a pickup truck parked at the bottom of the steps. The truck’s door was open and the radio blaring. There were about a dozen construction workers standing in a semicircle around it. 

The first words I remember hearing were “The twin towers are no more.” 

When I was eight years old I had breakfast with my aunt at Windows on the World - the restaurant at the top of the North tower - as she took me to explore NYC. The view was the first thing to flash into my mind.

I don’t remember much else that I heard on the radio, but I remember every detail of the sunlight, the look of the music building across the courtyard, the expressions on the construction workers' faces as we stood amongst them.

We listened for a few minutes in shock and then went to the physics library where a TV had been set up. That was where we saw the first images of what had really happened. Then we heard about the Pentagon. And United 93.  And the fact that some of the hijacked planes had originated in Boston.

We watched for hours. We had a nervous lunch in the department as we collectively decided what to do. Should we finish induction day? Should we go home alone? The department decided to cancel the events after lunch.

As a native New Yorker and Penn undergrad alum I had many connections who worked in Manhattan. My uncle worked at WTC7. Another uncle was an EMT and volunteer firefighter. Most of my friends from the Wharton school at Penn worked around Wall street. Looking back I realize I was in a bit of shock. I didn’t know how to process what was going on and was much more concerned about what was coming next than trying to process what was going on. 

I remember the terror not of fearing for my life personally, but of seeing fighter jets making low-altitude, high-speed passes over Harvard square, and the absolute stoppage of air traffic which was otherwise so common over Boston.

I occasionally stewed on the fact that just that morning the terrorists had been walking through Boston Logan a few miles away. Even though we were spared the devastation locally in Boston, we suffered our own carrying that knowledge.

I completed my PhD while members of my undergraduate class prepared for war in Afghanistan and then Iraq. My service, for what it was worth, came in applying my expertise to serve the US national interest in advanced technology. September 11th was no doubt responsible for my decision to pursue post-PhD opportunities at the CIA, NSA, and ultimately DARPA as my choice.

At DARPA I primarily focused on quantum computing and advanced microprocessor architectures. But the backdrop was the death of thousands of my peers in Iraq, primarily to IEDs. For my part, I was proud to serve the Microsystems Technology Office Director in helping ensure MTO technologies could be developed and deployed to protect coalition soldiers. I toured Langley Air Force base to see advanced DARPA-derived sensors being used to identify changes along roadsides in aerial photographs, signalling potential IED placement.

The US, UK, Australian, and other coalition governments made catastrophic policy mistakes. They misled the public. They abused the trust we placed in them. My service was to the young men and women, generally younger than me, who answered the call in their way. 4,431 US and 318 coalition troops killed in Iraq. Over 3,500 in Afghanistan. 

September 11th was formative in my worldview and career, as it was for so many others. It solidified in me a sense of service that carries through in our mission to advance technology and deliver sovereign capabilities to allied nations through Q-CTRL.

Today, through Q-CTRL our service in building the most transformative technology in the world remains dedicated to the young men and women who keep us safe. We work for people who take life-threatening risks to look after us.

I know that for many, while the scenario is different, COVID represents a similarly formative experience. It causes fear, anger, frustration, anxiety, doubt. I can tell you that 20 years from the day that transitioned so rapidly from the best to the worst in my life, I can look back and know how my character was shaped by the experience; I hope in a positive way. 

I want you to know that now, in a bleak time of ongoing lockdowns, isolation, and uncertainty, that one day you may look back at the period of COVID and reflect on how it has shaped your character too. And I hope that it similarly instils a sense of service and commitment to one another in the way September 11th did at the time. Thanks for reading.