How to Manage Emotions After Feedback

"You completely missed the mark. This isn't what I asked for." Getting harsh feedback can feel like a career crisis. I know it's a punch in the gut. Often followed by the knee-jerk reaction to defend yourself. I used to do it too, until I observed a colleague. She carefully nodded, took some notes. And then said, "Thank you." Compared to my defensive body language and "yes buts," she was a model of grace under pressure. I set out to borrow her ninja moves and I added some of my own. Here they are: 1️⃣ The Shhh... Rule ❌ Immediate emotional reactions ✅ Say "thank you," and sit on it for now 💡Why? ↳ It gives your emotions time to cool down ↳ Once calm, you can objectively process the info 2️⃣ Take Careful Notes ❌ Relying on memory ✅ Write down what you heard word for word 💡Why? ↳ Shows you're taking it seriously ↳ Helps you spot patterns over time 3️⃣ Ask the Right Question ❌ "Why are you criticizing me?" ✅ "What would you like to see instead?" 💡Why? ↳ Clarifies feedback and creates action items ↳ Shows you're solution-focused 4️⃣The Mirror Technique ❌ Guessing their meaning ✅ Reflect back: "What I'm hearing is..." 💡Why? ↳ Catches misunderstandings early ↳ Shows you're actively listening 5️⃣ The Thoughtful Follow-Up ❌ Avoidance ✅ Schedule a check-in 2-3 weeks later 💡Why? ↳ Demonstrates accountability ↳ Builds trust and strengthens the relationship 6️⃣ The Documentation Log ❌ Treat each feedback session as isolated ✅ Keep a feedback journal 💡Why? ↳ Spot recurring themes ↳ Some bosses say they gave feedback and didn't 7️⃣ The Reframe ❌ Taking feedback as personal attacks ✅ Ask yourself: "If my best friend got this feedback..." 💡Why? ↳ Creates emotional distance ↳ Leads to better solutions Most people give feedback because they want you to do better. They're investing their time in your growth. Do you have a tip for handling tough feedback? Share it in the comments👇 ♻️Repost to share with others who are supporting job hunters. 🔔Follow @Sarah Baker Andrus for more career insights.

🔄 The Emotional Reset: Reframing the Narrative in Leadership 🧠 Neuroscience Insight: Have you ever received tough feedback and immediately felt defensive? That’s your brain’s default mode network (DMN) at work—jumping to worst-case assumptions and emotional hijacking. But here’s the truth: Reframing engages the prefrontal cortex, shifting us from reaction to rational problem-solving. 📖 A Quick Story: A leader I coached received harsh public feedback from an executive during a meeting. Their initial reaction? “They don’t respect my work—I need to push back!” Frustration took over, and their body language showed it. ✅ The Shift: A Simple Emotional Reset Before reacting, they asked themselves: 🔹 What’s the bigger picture here? This feedback is about improving outcomes, not a personal attack. 🔹 If I were coaching someone else, what would I tell them? Pause, take notes, and ask clarifying questions. 🔹 What emotion do I want to lead with? Calm curiosity instead of defensiveness. 🔥 The Outcome: Instead of escalating the tension, the leader responded with: 💬 “Thank you for the feedback. I’d love to understand what specific improvements you’d like to see. Can we explore solutions together?” 🚀 CRAVE Leadership in Action: ✔ Respect – For oneself and others, even in challenging moments. ✔ Authenticity – Acknowledging emotions without reacting impulsively. ✔ Empathy – Understanding the perspective behind the feedback. ✨ Your Turn: Next time you’re faced with criticism, try this Emotional Reset. Before reacting, ask yourself these three reframing questions. What’s your go-to strategy for handling tough feedback? Drop a comment below! ⬇️ #DrAmin #CRAVELeadership #NeuroLeadership #LeadershipDevelopment #ExecutivePresence #EmotionalIntelligence #FeedbackCulture

Give it time, sweet soul. 🌸 As a speaker, there's an odd time stamp between when you walk off stage and the 24 hours that follow. It's an incredibly vulnerable, raw period during which anything anyone says about their impression of your presentation can bypass the thick skin you've developed as a performer and strike right at the center of your heart. A seasoned speaker once shared a strategy she uses to protect herself during this time. For the first 24 hours after any presentation, she intentionally avoids seeking feedback. She doesn’t ask how she did, whether they liked it, or what they learned. Oh, she wants to know this information, but not in those tender moments right after delivery. She pointed out that while many folks say kind and encouraging things during that time, there’s always that one person—the mean jerk in the room—who has something critical to say. And usually, it is HER. Call it ego, inner critic, or the bully—regardless of the name, that voice can be brutal in those raw moments after you've put yourself out there. Her expert advice: Don’t reflect during that time. Don’t grade your performance, adjudicate your delivery, or judge your impact. Instead, send love. "You did your best today." "You just grew! Well done." "You are brave." Then, after about 24 hours, when emotions have settled, the ego has retreated offstage, and the critic has stopped shouting from the front row, she sits down for a pre-scheduled appointment to write a review. 👉 What rocked? 👉 What bombed? 👉 What resonated with people? 👉 What did you learn? 👉 What do you want to do differently next time? Combined with survey feedback, she gains a much more actionable and realistic view of her performance. If you’re a speaker, can you hush the self-critique for a while and focus instead on showing love and compassion for your effort? You have got this. ❤️ #keynotespeaker #wellnessatwork #resilience #meetingplanners

Imagine standing at the pinnacle of your career, having achieved a coveted spot in the MIT Executive MBA program, only to be blindsided by one damaging piece of anonymous feedback in a 360 leadership evaluation: "Angelique needs to stop acting like a petulant child!" 🤬Angry and embarrassed, my first reaction was to ignore it. When my MIT-sponsored executive coach, who was reviewing all of my leadership assessment data, asked if I wanted to address it,  I said, “No. I know who wrote that. He just has it out for me,” 🤔But the more I thought about it, the more I had to admit there might be some truth to his comments.  A few months later, I brought it up. 🙄😤“You know what? I think there might be something to this feedback. Sometimes I get so frustrated at work that I roll my eyes or huff in exasperation.” While I think it is OK to get frustrated at work, I don’t like having these visible reactions that make me seem like I’m not in control of my emotions. And if I’m honest, in those moments, I don’t feel like I’m in control of my emotions, either. “I can see how these reactions leave a negative impression on my colleagues, so I would like to spend some time working on it.” So we did. And it changed everything. With my coach’s help, I was able to hone my ability to regulate my emotions and reclaim control even in the toughest of situations. I took what she taught me, and I put it into a step-by-step process that I call The Poker Face Playbook. ➡️Whether you roll your eyes, yell, slam doors, or burst into tears, uncontrolled displays of emotion can hinder your ability to feel confident and your ability to appear confident. Leaders need both, so if you struggle to keep your composure, you might try this process: 1️⃣Brainstorm Your Tough Situations. 2️⃣Develop an “Enjoy/Dread” List by reflecting on Why these situations impact you. 3️⃣Develop a Rescue Plan of strategies you could use to help you through. 4️⃣Test Out Your Rescue Plan. 5️⃣Debrief. 6️⃣Develop a One-page Summary of Your Plan for Reference. 🌟Get the detailed playbook and my personal examples in the newsletter: How I Learned to Keep My Composure In Tough Situations. 🔗Link in comments. #innovation #entrepreneurship #engineering #leadership #management #personaldevelopment

I recently spoke with someone who had received a performance rating lower than both they and their manager had expected. They had anticipated a "greatly exceeds expectations" rating but ended up with "exceeds expectations." Frustrated and unsure how to handle the situation, they wanted advice on approaching this conversation with their manager. In situations like this, people often make one of two common mistakes. The first is allowing frustration to take over, making it difficult to communicate constructively. The second is resigning to the outcome without addressing their feelings or seeking clarity. Neither approach is ideal. The solution lies in finding a balance—acknowledging and expressing your frustration while maintaining a collaborative tone with your manager. This way, you can work together to discuss future opportunities, whether it’s a compensation adjustment or a potential promotion. To navigate such conversations effectively, there are three steps to keep in mind. First, recognize and process your frustration. Your feelings are valid, and it’s important not to suppress them. Instead, take some time to mindfully observe where the frustration shows up in your body. It could be a tightness in your chest or tension in your shoulders. Spend a minute at a time reflecting on these sensations a few times a day leading up to the meeting. This mindfulness will help you stay grounded and ensure that your emotions don’t overwhelm the conversation. Second, express your disappointment briefly. At the start of the meeting, after some initial chit-chat, share your feelings about the outcome. Frame your frustration as being with the situation or system rather than your manager. This keeps the discussion professional and avoids making it personal. However, keep this part of the conversation concise to prevent negativity from taking over. Finally, pivot to collaboration. After expressing your disappointment, shift the focus to what can be done moving forward. Work with your manager to identify actionable steps for achieving better outcomes in the future. If your manager seems supportive, this is a great opportunity to co-create a plan for progress, whether that involves a compensation review or a path to promotion. By following this approach, you can turn a disappointing experience into a constructive dialogue. Acknowledge your emotions, express them appropriately, and focus on building a path forward. If you’ve faced a similar situation, I’d love to hear how you handled it. Let’s keep the conversation going in the comments. #PerformanceReviews #CareerGrowth #WorkplaceTips

One Minute of Lost Control Can Erase Years of Trust. From tech leader to holistic health coach, here’s my hard-earned lesson: Your cortisol levels don’t care about your job title. I’ve watched it happen in Fortune 500 boardrooms: → A stressed-out tech lead snapping at their team → A brilliant developer burning bridges over feedback → A senior manager losing trust in one heated moment Here’s What 20+ Years in Corporate Tech Taught Me: Success isn’t about your technical expertise. It’s about managing your nervous system. 3 Game-Changing Practices I Share With My Coaching Clients: 1️⃣ Nervous System Reset → Notice physical tension signals → Take a mindful pause → Use breath to regulate cortisol 2️⃣ Stress Pattern Recognition → Map your emotional triggers → Track your body's stress responses → Create a personal regulation strategy 3️⃣ Response Optimization → Choose growth over reaction → Practice intentional communication → Build resilience through reflection The Truth Is: Your body keeps the score of every emotional outburst. And so does your career. Want to Master Emotional Regulation? Start by understanding your body's stress signals. What’s your biggest challenge with emotional regulation at work? Please share in the comments below. ➕ Follow Dharma Ramasamy for more science-backed hacks on peak performance. 🔄 Repost to save someone from a career-limiting cortisol spike.

Receiving un-relatable feedback is tough. Here's what works for me: I accept what's beyond my control: the feedback's delivery, substance, and the giver's intent. Instead, I focus on what I can control: finding any truth in the feedback relevant to me, whether for now or beyond the vectors of the situation that initiated the feedback. Often, there's a spark worth exploring, despite the instinct to reject feedback from messengers I do not identify with. Feedback is a gift. I try it on; if it fits with who I am an who I want to be, I keep it. If not, I let it go. This mindset turns even harsh words into growth opportunities. The reverse is also true. I can't control how my feedback lands, whether my words will be a devastating storm or rain on parched soil for someone else. But I strive to give feedback that builds awareness without breaking spirits. In fact, I have a responsibility towards helping process the feedback and not just delivering it. My mother taught me to see goodness in everyone, a view that has become an invaluable reminder when processing ugly feedback. With time and reflection, I have always found a valuable kernel of truth that demands to be examined further. As performance review season approaches, I hope my thoughts resonate. I look forward to sharing more leadership imprints and hearing about yours. Let's start a dialogue on our #leadershipimprints and grow together. #leadership #learnings #reflections

One minute, I was working. The next, my manager was yelling at me in front of the entire team. I had two choices: 1️⃣ Fire back. Defend myself. Make things worse. 2️⃣ De-escalate and work on a solution. Here’s the four-part approach that turned an explosive moment into a productive conversation: STEP 1 - Move the conversation Instead of reacting, I said: 💬 "Sounds like we need to talk. Can we do it in private?" We stepped into an empty room — away from the crowd and emotions. STEP 2 - Set a boundary I looked him in the eye and said: 💬 "I’m happy to talk about any concerns. But please don’t yell — it makes it hard for me to listen and respond." He took a deep breath. “That’s fair." STEP 3 - Find the real issue At first, he was fixated on a small mistake. But I had a feeling there was more. So I asked: 💬 “Is this really about the X?" He hesitated, then said: “Honestly, it’s not. I just need more from the team right now.” STEP 4 - Prevent it from happening again Before we ended, I said: 💬“Next time, can we talk about concerns in private first?” He agreed. And he never yelled at me again. The Lesson? 🚫 Don’t fight emotion with emotion. 🚫 Don’t assume the first issue is the real issue. ✅ Control what you can: your response, your boundaries, and how you navigate conflict. P.S. That same manager gave me a glowing recommendation for my next promotion.

Most people process emotions wrong. They suppress. They overreact. They spiral.  But there's a better way. 50% of Americans struggle with stress, anger, or sadness at work. A tough boss. Unfair criticism. Pressure. I’ve used this framework for years.  It helped me stay clear-headed and make better decisions. Here’s how it works: The 4-Step Emotion Processing Framework Emotion’s Purpose ↳ What is this emotion trying to tell you? Objective Analysis ↳ Set emotions aside - what’s the rational reality? Action Plan ↳ Based on the facts, what (if anything) should you do? Communicate Back ↳ What message should you send to this emotion? Let’s apply it. Imagine your boss unfairly criticizes you in a meeting.  You feel anxious. Instead of reacting, you run it through the framework: Emotion’s Purpose.  ↳ Anxiety flags a possible threat -  Ask: Does my boss dislike me? Is my job at risk? Objective Analysis. ↳ This isn’t a pattern.  Understand: Your boss was likely just in a bad mood. Action Plan.  ↳ Do nothing for now, but stay aware.  Plan: If it happens again, bring it up in a 1:1. Communicate Back. ↳ "Thank you anxiety! I know you are trying to help me."  Inform: "I’ll monitor the situation and reassess if needed." This method stops emotional spirals.  It helps you process, not react. Sometimes, emotions highlight real problems.  If your analysis shows repeated unfair treatment?  It's time to find a better opportunity. What’s one thing you’ve been overthinking instead of doing? Drop it below. ♻️ Repost to help others master their emotions! 🔖 Follow for more inspiring mindset strategies.

💎 𝗠𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗔𝗿𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗥𝗲𝗰𝗲𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗧𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝗙𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸/𝗦𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗴𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗟𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽, 𝗡𝗼𝘁 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗗𝗲𝗳𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗲𝘀 Receiving difficult feedback is something we all face, and it’s a frequent topic in my coaching sessions. Recently, I experienced this myself, and it served as a powerful reminder of just how challenging it can be, regardless of how much personal development work you've done. 💭 Constructive feedback can feel like a punch in the gut. It can trigger defensiveness, self-doubt, and even anger. These reactions are natural, but they can hinder our growth if we let them take over. I know the sting all too well. When I received feedback that pointed out my tendency to prioritize being entertaining over being effective, it wasn't easy to hear. Despite years of coaching others through similar situations, I felt the same flood of emotions my clients often describe. I wanted to defend myself, justify my actions, and dismiss the feedback. But I knew that wouldn't serve me in the long run. Ignoring or dismissing constructive feedback can stunt our professional and personal growth. It can lead to repeating the same mistakes, alienating colleagues, and missing opportunities for improvement. For leaders, the cost can be even higher, affecting team morale and organizational success. 🏆 Leaning into the discomfort is crucial. I reached out to my support network to process the feedback objectively. I looked for patterns and considered the perspectives of those who provided the feedback. Was their viewpoint different from mine? Did they value different outcomes? This analysis helped me understand the feedback more deeply and see the areas where I genuinely needed to grow. By embracing the feedback, I was able to make meaningful changes. I adjusted my approach to be more effective and aligned with the needs of my audience. This not only improved my performance but also strengthened my relationships with those who provided the feedback. They saw my willingness to grow and, as a result, felt more valued and respected. 😇 💯 Receiving feedback will never be easy, but it's a vital part of our journey toward becoming better leaders and individuals. By embracing it, analyzing it objectively, and implementing changes, we can turn difficult moments into powerful opportunities for growth. If you're struggling with feedback, know that you're not alone and that there is a path forward that leads to greater effectiveness and fulfillment. ***** 📥 Drop a comment below with "PDF," and I'll personally send you the comprehensive PDF for FREE. 🎁 #personaldevelopment #management #motivation #inspiration #selfhelp #productivity