Handling Disagreements Between Team Members

How I Keep Disagreements Productive as a Program Manager at Amazon Disagreements are part of the job. Different teams…different incentives…different perspectives. But disagreements don’t have to derail progress. Here’s how I keep them productive…not personal: 1/ I start by clarifying the shared goal ↳ “We’re both trying to deliver a great customer experience” ↳ Alignment on why helps reduce tension around how ↳ It shifts the tone from debate to collaboration 2/ I seek to understand before being understood ↳ I ask questions before I push opinions ↳ “Can you walk me through your reasoning?” ↳ People are more open when they feel heard 3/ I keep the focus on the idea…not the person ↳ “This plan has some risk” lands better than “You’re missing something” ↳ It’s about improving the work…not winning the argument ↳ Language matters 4/ I bring data and tradeoffs…not just strong opinions ↳ “Here’s the impact of that path vs this one” ↳ I try to frame it as a decision…not a disagreement ↳ Clarity reduces conflict 5/ I pause when things get tense ↳ If emotions rise, I suggest a break or follow-up ↳ Pressure can cloud good judgment ↳ I’d rather pause than push forward with the wrong energy Disagreements don’t slow me down… Unmanaged tension does. The key is staying grounded in the outcome…not the ego. How do you handle tough conversations without damaging relationships?

One of the toughest tests of your leadership isn't how you handle success. It's how you navigate disagreement. I noticed this in the SEAL Teams and in my work with executives: Those who master difficult conversations outperform their peers not just in team satisfaction, but in decision quality and innovation. The problem? Most of us enter difficult conversations with our nervous system already in a threat state. Our brain literally can't access its best thinking when flooded with stress hormones. Through years of working with high-performing teams, I've developed what I call The Mindful Disagreement Framework. Here's how it works: 1. Pause Before Engaging (10 seconds) When triggered by disagreement, take a deliberate breath. This small reset activates your prefrontal cortex instead of your reactive limbic system. Your brain physically needs this transition to think clearly. 2. Set Psychological Safety (30 seconds) Start with: "I appreciate your perspective and want to understand it better. I also have some different thoughts to share." This simple opener signals respect while creating space for different viewpoints. 3. Lead with Curiosity, Not Certainty (2 minutes) Ask at least three questions before stating your position. This practice significantly increases the quality of solutions because it broadens your understanding before narrowing toward decisions. 4. Name the Shared Purpose (1 minute) "We both want [shared goal]. We're just seeing different paths to get there." This reminds everyone you're on the same team, even with different perspectives. 5. Separate Impact from Intent (30 seconds) "When X happened, I felt Y, because Z. I know that wasn't your intention." This formula transforms accusations into observations. Last month, I used this exact framework in a disagreement. The conversation that could have damaged our relationship instead strengthened it. Not because we ended up agreeing, but because we disagreed respectfully. (It may or may not have been with my kid!) The most valuable disagreements often feel uncomfortable. The goal isn't comfort. It's growth. What difficult conversation are you avoiding right now? Try this framework tomorrow and watch what happens to your leadership influence. ___ Follow me, Jon Macaskill for more leadership focused content. And feel free to repost if someone in your life needs to hear this. 📩 Subscribe to my newsletter here → https://lnkd.in/g9ZFxDJG You'll get FREE access to my 21-Day Mindfulness & Meditation Course packed with real, actionable strategies to lead with clarity, resilience, and purpose.

Conflict gets a bad rap in the workplace. Early in my career, I believed conflict had no place in a healthy workplace. As I progressed, I realized that it was quite the contrary. The lack of conflict isn't a sign of a healthy work culture, rather it is an indication that important debates, discussions and differing viewpoints are being disregarded or suppressed. This insight revealed another key aspect: high-performing teams do not shy away from conflict. They embrace it, leveraging diverse opinions to drive optimal outcomes for customers. What sets these teams apart is their ability to handle conflict constructively. So how can this be achieved? I reached out to my friend Andrea Stone, Leadership Coach and Founder of Stone Leadership, for some tips on effectively managing conflict in the workplace. Here's the valuable guidance she provided: 1. Pause: Take a moment to assess your feelings in the heat of the moment. Be curious about your emotions, resist immediate reactions, and take the time to understand the why behind your feelings. 2. Seek the Other Perspective: Engage genuinely, listen intently, show real interest, and ask pertinent questions. Remember to leave your preconceived judgments at the door. 3. Acknowledge Their Perspective: Express your understanding of their viewpoint. If their arguments have altered your perspective, don't hesitate to share this with them. 4. Express Your Viewpoint: If your opinion remains unswayed, seek permission to explain your perspective and experiences. Remember to speak from your viewpoint using "I" statements. 5. Discuss the Bigger Objective: Identify common grounds and goals. Understand that each person might have a different, bigger picture in mind. This process can be taxing, so prepare beforehand. In prolonged conflict situations, don't hesitate to suggest breaks to refresh and refuel mentally, physically, and emotionally. 6. Know Your Limits: If the issue is of significant importance to you, be aware of your boundaries. For those familiar with negotiation tactics, know your BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement). 7. Finalize Agreements: Once an agreement has been reached, continue the engagement to agree on responsibilities and timeframes. This ensures clarity on the outcome and commitments made. PS: Approach such situations with curiosity and assume others are trying to do the right thing. 🔁 Useful? I would appreciate a repost. Image Credit: Hari Haralambiev ----- Follow me, tap the (🔔) Omar Halabieh for daily Leadership and Career posts.

Managing conflict in my team is never easy but it's part of the job. Handling conflict within my team is a task that comes with its set of challenges, but it's essential for keeping the team functional and happy. Here's how I typically go about running a team meeting to address conflict: 1. Recognizing the Source: First, I identify what's causing the conflict. Before we even sit down for a meeting, I pinpoint what's causing the issue by talking to everyone involved. This usually involves speaking privately with the team members involved to understand their viewpoints. 2. Establish Objectives: Before calling the meeting, I define what we aim to achieve. Is it conflict resolution, finding a middle ground, or simply airing out grievances? Knowing the objective helps structure the conversation. 3. Set Guidelines: I establish ground rules for the meeting to ensure a safe space. This includes allowing everyone to speak without interruption and keeping the conversation respectful and on-point. 4. Facilitate Dialogue: During the meeting, I act as a facilitator rather than a dictator. I guide the conversation, ensure everyone has a say, and keep the discussion focused on the issue, not personal attacks. 5. Reach an Agreement: Once everyone has had their say, we work towards a solution. This is usually a compromise that may not satisfy everyone entirely but serves the greater good of the team. 6. Action Plan: We end the meeting by laying out an action plan, defining who will do what, by when, to resolve the issue. 7. Follow-Up: A few days to a week after the meeting, I follow up with the individuals involved and the team as a whole to ensure that the action items are being implemented and to see if the conflict has been resolved or reduced. By approaching conflict with a structured, open dialogue, and a focus on resolution, I find we can often turn what could be a divisive issue into an opportunity for team growth. "The best way to resolve conflicts is facing them, not avoiding them." Have a Positive, Productive and Safe Day! #TeamConflict #ConflictResolution #Leadership #TeamGrowth #EffectiveCommunication

At Amazon, two of my top engineers had a shouting match that ended in tears. This could be a sign of a toxic workplace or a sign of passion and motivation. Whether it becomes toxic or not all comes down to how management deals with conflict. In order to deal with conflict in your team, it is first essential to understand it. A Harvard study has identified that there are 4 types of conflict that are common in teams: 1. The Boxing Match: Two people within a team disagree 2. The Solo Dissenter: Conflict surrounds one individual 3. Warring Factions: Two subgroups within a team disagree 4. The Blame Game: The whole team is in disagreement My engineers shouting at each other is an example of the boxing match. They were both passionate and dedicated to the project, but their visions were different. This type of passion is a great driver for a healthy team, but if the conflict were to escalate it could quickly become toxic and counterproductive. In order to de-escalate the shouting, I brought them into a private mediation. This is where one of the engineers started to cry because he was so passionate about his vision for the project. The important elements of managing this conflict in a healthy and productive way were: 1) Giving space for each of the engineers to explain their vision 2) Mediating their discussion so that they could arrive at a productive conclusion 3) Not killing either of their passion by making them feel unheard or misunderstood Ultimately, we were able to arrive at a productive path forward with both engineers feeling heard and respected. They both continued to be top performers. In today’s newsletter, I go more deeply into how to address “Boxing Match” conflicts as both a manager and an IC. I also explain how to identify and address the other 3 common types of team conflict. You can read the newsletter here https://lnkd.in/gXYr9T3r Readers- How have you seen team member conflict handled well in your careers?