Tips for Managing Emotional Reactions

STOP LOSING YOUR SH*T & LEARN TO MASTER YOUR EMOTIONS.   Recently, I watched a president of a company lose his temper.   He screamed, swore, stomped around, threw things, & slammed the door. He was completely out of control. And his behavior was absolutely unacceptable.   As educated, capable leaders, we must hold ourselves to a higher standard.   You must master your emotions, because over reacting can cost you everything.    ❌ People go to prison for one reaction.   ❌ People lose their jobs for one reaction.   ❌ People lose their relationships for one reaction.   The good news is that it doesn’t have to be that way.   You can learn to master your emotions & respond instead of react:   1. Increase Your Self-Awareness: Develop a deep understanding of your emotions. Regularly check in with yourself to identify how you're feeling and why.   2. Develop Emotional Intelligence: Study emotions in depth & understand how your emotions impact others.   3. Practice Mindfulness and Meditation: Use these techniques to observe your emotions without judgment, self soothe & avoid impulsive reactions.   4. Recognize Triggers: Identify your emotional triggers, such as situations, people, or specific thoughts. Knowing your triggers can prevent reactivity.   5. Engage in Breathwork: Deep, slow breathing calms your nervous system. When overwhelmed, pause & focus on your breath, inhale deeply through your nose & exhale slowly out your mouth.   6. Explore Progressive Muscle Relaxation: This technique involves tensing & then relaxing each muscle group in your body to reduce physical tension that accompanies strong emotions.   7. Learn Cognitive Restructuring: Once you develop deeper levels of self awareness, you can challenge irrational or distorted thoughts that cause intense emotions.   8. Practice Emotional Labeling: Use precise words to pinpoint your feelings & manage them effectively. 9. Amplify Your Empathy: Develop empathy for yourself & others by seeing the situation from their perspective.   10. Utilize Healthy Outlets: Find healthy ways to release your intense emotions, such as breathwork or physical exercise.   11. Incorporate Stress Reduction Techniques: Daily stress reduction practices such as exercise, a healthy diet, adequate sleep, & time management are critical for emotional regulation.   12. Check for Side Effects: Certain medications & supplements, especially those related to hormones, can adversely impact your mood. Talk to your physician if you think this may be an issue for you.   13. Seek Professional Help: If emotional regulation remains a significant challenge, consult a therapist, counselor, or qualified coach to provide you with personalized guidance & support.   Learning emotional regulation is a valuable skill that can greatly improve your life, both personally and professionally.   To be your best & achieve your highest levels of success, YOU MUST MASTER YOUR EMOTIONS.   👉 Do you agree?

Don’t blow your cool… When you are working with customers you must be ready for the unexpected and for the occasional unhappy customers. So, it’s important to have a mindful way to remain calm when others may be out of control. 1. Get comfortable with pausing. Don’t imagine the worst when you encounter a little drama. When someone is acting irrationally, don’t join them by rushing to make a negative judgment call. Instead, pause and take a deep breath. A moment of calmness in a moment of tension can save you from a hundred moments of regret. 2. Think bigger. When we think bigger, we can see that small things matter very little in the grand scheme of things. It’s not worth our energy. 3. Respect people’s differences. Being kind to someone you dislike or disagree with doesn’t mean you’re fake. It means you’re mature enough to control your emotions and do the right thing. Just because someone does it differently doesn’t make it wrong. Period. 4. Put yourself in their shoes and give them grace. When you can put yourself in the other person’s shoes, you give them the space to regroup without putting any extra pressure on them. Hey, we all get upset and lose our temper sometimes. So, remind yourself that we are all more alike than we are different. When you catch yourself passing judgment, add “just like me sometimes” to the end of a sentence. 5. Don’t take things personally. If you take everything personally, you will be offended for the rest of your life. Even when it seems personal, rarely do people do things because of you, they do things because of them. The way people treat you is their problem, how you react is yours. 6. Create positive morning routines to start your day right. Don’t rush into your day by checking your phone or email. Create time and space for morning routines that get you moving in the right direction. 7. Cope using healthy choices and alternatives. When we face stressful situations, we often turn to unhealthy choices — drinking alcohol, eating sugary snacks, smoking, etc. It’s easy to respond to stress with unhealthy distractions. So, pay more attention to how you cope with stress, and replace bad coping habits with healthy coping habits. 8. Remind yourself of what’s right. At the end of the day, reflect on your small daily wins and all the little things that are going well. Count three things that happened during the day that you’re grateful for. And then pay it forward — do something for someone else that makes them grateful at the end of their day. 9. Establish and enforce healthy and reasonable boundaries. Practice becoming more aware of your feelings and needs. Note when you’re resentful of fulfilling someone else’s needs and gradually build healthy boundaries by saying no to requests that cause resentfulness in you. What else can you do to keep your cool when it seems everything is out of control? #personaldevelopment #motivation #customerrelations #leadership

It’s taking a beat before reacting. Especially when you want to explode. This is a superpower that we all possess but it takes strength to choose it. Here are a few suggestions on how… 1. **Pause and Breathe**: Take a moment to breathe deeply. Count to ten or take a few deep breaths. This helps to calm your nerves and gives you a moment to collect your thoughts. 2. **Identify Your Feelings**: Acknowledge your emotions. Are you angry, hurt, or disappointed? Understanding your feelings is the first step to managing them. 3. **Reframe Your Thoughts**: Instead of focusing on the negative aspects of the person or situation, try to see things from their perspective. This can help you empathize with them. 4. **Choose Your Words Wisely**: When you respond, think about how your words will affect them. Aim to express your feelings calmly. You might say something like, "I feel frustrated when this happens," instead of attacking the person. 5. **Take a Break**: If emotions are running high, it might be a good idea to walk away for a little while. This allows both parties to cool down before re-engaging in a conversation. 6. **Practice Active Listening**: When you talk, listen to what the other person has to say without interrupting. This shows respect and can help you understand their viewpoint better. 7. **Focus on Solutions**: Instead of dwelling on the negative behavior, try to discuss ways to improve the situation or prevent it from happening again in the future. 8. **Use Humor**: If appropriate, a light-hearted joke can diffuse tension. Just make sure it’s in good taste and won’t come across as sarcastic. 9. **Set Boundaries**: Being kind doesn’t mean you have to accept bad behavior. If necessary, assertively set boundaries while maintaining a respectful tone. 10. **Reflect Later**: After the interaction, take some time to reflect. What strategies worked? What could you do differently next time? This helps you grow and handle future conflicts with more grace. Remember, kindness doesn’t mean you have to suppress your feelings. Being kind while addressing issues can lead to healthier and more constructive relationships. #BeKind #KindnessisaStrength #

𝟒 𝐒𝐭𝐞𝐩𝐬 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐃𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 - Effective Self-Leadership requires you to be aware when your emotions are negatively impacting how you perceive situations, make decisions, solve problems, and collaborate with others. The goal is to develop your ability to effectively manage your emotions so that they inform you but don’t define you.   1) Learn To Pause Pausing when you are feeling negative emotions allows you to regain your balance and perspective before choosing your best actions that align with your values and goals. Pausing allows you to catch up with your negative emotions before you react. 2) Breathe To Calm Emotions We have an intuitive understanding that our breath can calm our mind and emotions. Most of us have either told others or been told ourselves to "take a deep breath” when encountering difficult situations. Since our breathing happens automatically, many of us don’t give the breath as much attention as it deserves and have not learned to harness its full potential to calm our minds and emotions. 3) Name It To Tame It The simple act of naming your emotion helps your brain move it from the areas of your brain that are equipped to address physical threat to the more rational parts that serve you in problem solving, relationships, and creativity. As neuroscientists like to say, naming an emotion helps you tame it. The more specific we are in naming our emotions the more prepared we will be to take the right steps forward. If you are experiencing a strong emotion, take a moment to label it. But do not stop there: once you have identified it, try to come up with two more words that describe how you are feeling. This exercise helps you uncover the deeper emotion beyond the more obvious one. 4) What Can You Control? Stephen Covey’s Circle of Influence provides a practical framework for when we need to challenge feelings of helplessness by identifying attitudes and activities within our control or influence. The point is to create awareness by defining the worries to let go of because they are beyond our influence while at the same time identifying the areas where our efforts will have a real impact. The most successful among us – know that it is not the adversity itself but what we do with it that determines our fate.    Click the 🔔 on my profile to be notified when I post | Tony Gambill   #leadership #careers #management #humanresources

I just read about an ancient Japanese concept I can't stop thinking about... Fudoshin. Use it to become more resilient and supercharge your personal growth: Fudoshin loosely translates to immovable mind. It originates from the Samurai moral code and instilled an unbreakable will into warriors. Here’s how to make your will unbreakable in the modern world: 1. Feed Your Mind a Healthy Diet Samurai warriors didn’t have to worry about the constant barrage of negativity from 24-hour news cycles and social media platforms. Letting your emotions be affected by what you consume weakens your resilience. Keep your social media time under an hour daily. Limit your news intake. Replace these activities with reading. You are what you consume. 2. Incorporate a Mindfulness Practice in Your Daily Routine The technologies of the modern world make it feel impossible to quiet your mind. Start and end your day with a mindfulness practice. Set an intention for the day as soon as you wake up. Use “I will” statements. Meditate for 15 minutes before bed. Seek out stillness. 3. Accept Your Powerlessness Over External Events There will always be negative things happening in the world around you. You can’t change them, no matter how much you want to. But you can control how you react to them. Start a journal and write in it whenever you feel an external event affecting your mindset. Follow up by writing down your positive reaction to it. 4. Practice Empathy in Every Interaction Everyone has an inner world that affects their behaviors. Fudoshin is about keeping the inner worlds of others from affecting your own. Have empathy for the inner struggles of those you interact with. 5. Ground Yourself in the Present Moment Worrying about past regrets or anxieties of the future triggers fear-based reactions. Living in the present moment detaches you from your emotions. Try grounding yourself with the 5-4-3-2-1 method. Focus on: • 5 things you hear • 4 things you see • 3 things you can touch • 2 things you can smell • 1 thing you can taste Practice Fudoshin to become the master of your mind. An immovable mind gives you the power to tackle any challenge. P.S. If you want to learn about AI, Agency growth, leadership and more, follow me Patrick Patterson so you never miss a post!

We've all been there - feeling like our buttons are being pushed – impulsively reacting to situations rather than strategically responding. This knee-jerk reaction can often be traced back to our inherent need for comfort and immediate relief. Yet, a successful #strategy is seldom birthed from comfort. Every strategic decision demands a shift from immediate gratification to long-term gains. It's not about merely being disciplined; it's about aligning our decisions with a greater vision and purpose. When faced with a challenging situation, instead of asking, "What will make me feel better right now?" pivot to "What's the best move for my long-term goals and values?" The REST method can help you take this strategic approach by fostering mindfulness and perspective: 𝐑-𝐑𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐠𝐧𝐢𝐳𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭: Observe your initial reactions. This discomfort is your mind's signal that you're in reactive mode. Recognize it and hit your pause button.⏸ 𝐄-𝐄𝐧𝐠𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Listen to your emotions. They're essential indicators of what's going on inside. Understand them without becoming them.❤️ 𝐒-𝐒𝐡𝐢𝐟𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞: Transition from a reactive mindset to a strategic one. Ask, "What's the most beneficial move in alignment with my goals?"🔀 𝐓-𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬: Carry out the best decision based on your new perspective. Act intentionally and strategically, demonstrating control and responsibility in your actions.💪 Recap ⏸ Recognize your discomfort ❤️ Engage your feelings 🔀 Shift your perspective 💪 Transform your actions Strategic thinking, as emphasized in the REST method, isn't just for business; it's for life. It gives us the tools to navigate life's challenges intentionally, enabling growth and freedom in our choices. As Victor Frankl rightly stated, "Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." There's the potential for strategic thinking in every decision. Create the conditions to make that happen. ___________ 𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐮𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 ----------- #strategicthinking #enaction #responsibility

Ever felt ashamed for reacting emotionally at work? Here’s what I wish I knew 20 years ago. When I was 18, I lost someone I admired at work. It was sudden, It reminded me of losing my dad at 11. I had no idea what to do with my emotions. No one coached me. No one said, "Pause first." So I just... reacted. Years later, in leadership roles, I still wasn’t ready. Now, I understand what Warren Buffett meant: “You will continue to suffer if you have an emotional reaction to everything that is said to you.” Restraint isn’t cold. It’s how you protect your power. 9 ways I’ve learned to channel emotion, not shut it down: 1) Put energy into action → Don’t waste passion defending. → Ask: “How can I use this to move forward?” 2) Turn criticism into fuel → Don’t let feedback drain you. → Use it to show what you can do. 3) Save your fire for what matters → Don’t fight every battle. → Save your strength for what counts. 4) Turn frustration into planning → Don’t let setbacks stop you. → Ask: “What would I do differently next time?” 5) Pour into people who pour back → Don’t chase those who don’t show up. → Focus on the ones who help you grow. 6) Turn pushback into learning → Don’t take resistance personally. → Ask: “What am I missing that they see?” 7) Choose impact over ego → Don’t aim to be right. → Aim to be effective. 8) Study calm leaders under stress → Don’t copy the loudest voice. → Notice who really leads the room. 9) Create space before you respond → Don’t hit send on the first draft. → Say: “Let me think and get back to you.” This isn’t about stuffing emotions down. It’s about knowing when they help And when they hurt. 🧠 What’s one reaction you’d take back if you could? Or one moment where restraint made all the difference? 👇 Share your story in the comments. ____________________________ ♻ Repost to share this with someone navigating the same line. 👉 Follow Stephanie Eidelman (Meisel) for more on leadership presence.

Don't let workplace annoyances rock your boat. How? By mastering emotional resilience. I used to begin each workday like a calm pond, only to be disrupted by coworker drama - for example, an unwanted escalation pointing fingers at my team when a simple call would have cleared up the misunderstanding. These irritants felt like a metaphorical boulder upsetting my inner calm. The water churns, emotions rise, and finding the right response was a struggle. We all face situations that test our emotional resilience – a passive-aggressive email, an outburst in a meeting, a looming deadline. But here's the good news: You have the power to choose your response. As Viktor Frankl famously said, "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." Developing emotional resilience isn't about suppressing your emotions or pretending everything is fine. It's about recognizing the space between the trigger and your reaction and using it to choose a mindful response. Here are three tips: 1. Take a Deep Breath: When you feel your emotions rising, take a few slow, deep breaths. This simple act can activate your body's relaxation response and help you regain composure. 2. Reframe the Situation: Instead of letting negativity take over, try to reframe the situation in a more positive light. Perhaps a difficult colleague's behavior is due to their own stress, not a personal attack. 3. Develop Pre-Planned Responses: For particularly tricky situations, consider having a few go-to phrases on hand. For example, if someone is being disruptive, I'll say, "Let's take a moment to refocus and get back on track with the agenda." By practicing to take a breath, reframing challenges, and choosing my responses, I've been strengthening my emotional resilience. What is your best tip for staying cool under pressure at work? 

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐬 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞. 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐬 𝐚 𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐡 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞, 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐬, 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬, 𝐨𝐫 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. My family recently encountered a distressing situation abroad – losing belongings, passports, and a rental car. Reflecting on our learnings has been valuable. The emotions we felt and steps we took to navigate this incident were no different from a customer escalation or a live site issue. We experienced emotions like fear, guilt, and disappointment. An urgency to assess the situation and identify where things went sideways. The desire to fix the problem quickly and get back to a state where everything is good. The process we went through to resolve issues was also the same. 𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬𝐞𝐭. Come back to the present moment. Seek perspective. Embrace humor. Cultivate gratitude. 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑢𝑛 𝑖𝑠 𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑏𝑖𝑟𝑑𝑠 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑠𝑜𝑎𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔. 𝐀𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐢𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. Where are the gaps in security? Who has been impacted, and how? Where did communication break down? 𝐶𝑎𝑛 𝑤𝑒 𝑏𝑜𝑎𝑟𝑑 𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑓𝑙𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑝𝑎𝑠𝑠𝑝𝑜𝑟𝑡𝑠? 𝐅𝐨𝐜𝐮𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐂𝐚𝐧 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥. Build an action plan and prioritize the tasks. Put unactionable issues aside. 𝐺𝑒𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑜𝑙𝑖𝑐𝑒 𝑟𝑒𝑝𝑜𝑟𝑡. 𝐶𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑎𝑐𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑠𝑢𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑒. 𝐏𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐢𝐧 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐜𝐞𝐬. Identify subject-matter experts and ask for help. Divvy up tasks aligned to people’s strengths. Escalate when necessary. 𝐹𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑎 𝑙𝑜𝑐𝑎𝑙 𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑠𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑜𝑟. 𝐵𝑢𝑖𝑙𝑑 𝑟𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑜𝑟𝑡 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝐶ℎ𝑖𝑒𝑓 𝐼𝑛𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑐𝑡𝑜𝑟. I often speak about the power of playing games like Minecraft Education to learn real world skills, like communication, collaboration and problem solving. This experience was an excellent reminder that 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬, 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 – 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐚𝐲 𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. #mindset #perspective #teamwork #productleadership #growthmindset #education 

EMOTIONAL IQ > This week before you respond to an email, phone call, or not so pleasant situation, be careful on being so reactionary. When you receive an unpleasant email, it’s always a good practice when you write an email response, to NOT hit send. Come back to it. You will often read the email and say to yourself, what was I thinking responding like this. You can then send a much calmer and more appropriate response later. Or when you receive an unpleasant voicemail, do not respond with a phone call right away. Give yourself time to collect your thoughts and then respond later when you can have a much calmer and intelligent conversation. We need to be giving greater emphasis to the importance of how we respond to the emotion’s communication can trigger. A step back can be one of the most helpful decisions you can make. It is always good to hit pause since it helps you compose your thoughts and brings you into the present moment. For interactions with people, just hold off and listen. There’s no rule that you have to say anything immediately. Notice the thoughts that go through your mind and simply observe them without attachment. Where possible don’t feel you need to respond immediately as it can be very important to give yourself time. In other words, WAIT before responding to work out what needs to be considered most in making important decisions. This does not show weakness but can be an important opportunity for working out what needs to be given priority in decision-making which is not always what our emotions can trigger in us. Embrace a 10 second rule. Whenever the temperature in a conversation starts to go up, pause for 10 seconds before you respond. That's it--just stop and wait. In almost every situation where a conversation is getting out of hand, the 10-second rule can help diffuse your emotions and refocus on the people and your purpose. You'll be surprised how much time 10 seconds really is in terms of giving you a chance to collect your emotions and your thoughts. You might be even more surprised to discover how effective it is at getting a conversation back on track. The ability to not react when provoked is a superpower. It saves energy, lives, and preserves relationships. Afterall, showing your emotions in an email or during a conversation is like bleeding in front of a shark. It’s not going to turn out well for you. Your ability to communicate effectively is your most critical skill. More so as a manager or leader…your ability to produce results as a leader is constrained directly by your ability to communicate with your team, peers, and superiors. You cannot see your reflection in boiling water. Similarly, you cannot see the truth in a state of anger. When the waters calm, clarity comes. Cheers! JR