Disclaimer: NARUTO 1999 by Masashi Kishimoto & Shueisha Inc.

| Fractured Tales Project 2010 | 2

Disclaimer: NARUTO 1999 by Masashi Kishimoto & Shueisha Inc. | Fractured Tales Project 2010 | 3
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A Fractured Fairytale
A SASUKE SAKURA ALTERNATIVE UNIVERSE ANTHOLOGY
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Philippine Copyrights 2010 by Fractured Tales Project
This is a COPY of the book. An UNPUBLISHED document.
Copyright Disclaimer:
The FRACTUREDTALES 2010 is an alternative-universe anthology and
a non-profit adaptation dedicated to the anime and manga series NARUTO,
created by Masashi Kishimoto and owned by VIZ Media, LLC, Sheuisha Inc.
and various affiliates. The anthology is not meant to infringe on any copyrights
of the serialized comics.
All materials in this printed adaptation including, but not limited, to its
characters in the stories and images are protected by copyrights, trademarks, and
other intellectual property rights owned and controlled by Masashi Kishimoto
and Shueisha Inc. No part of this book can be reproduced, reprinted or
distributed through electronic means without the express written consent of the
copyright owner of this book. Utilization of the materials in this copy for any
purpose other than personal or non-commercial use is a violation of the
copyrights, trademarks and other proprietary right is prohibited.
NARUTO 1999 by Masashi Kishimoto & Shueisha Inc.
A Fractured Fairytale: A Sasuke Sakura Alternative Universe Anthology 2010
Under Section 185 of the Republic Act No. 8293 of the Republic of the
Philippines, also known as Intellectual Property Code, allowance is made for fair use for
purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research.
Fair use is permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit,
educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use.
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To the Fractured Tales family
To Masashi Kishimoto
To the contributors
To those who offered their help
To the ones who have been waiting for this project
To the fans, both active stans and passive lurkers
To Uchiha Sasuke and Haruno Sakurawe dont care if you are fictional.
This book belongs to you.
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Disclaimer: NARUTO 1999 by Masashi Kishimoto & Shueisha Inc. | Fractured Tales Project 2010 | 12
Preface
Why are you doing this?
And I felt the world stop.
I felt the combination of pure anxiety and horrorgrinded, blended, squeezed
as my father asked me the question that would send me to my death, the crushing of
hearts, to the oblivion that is Sais midriff.
Answer that fast Jam. And answer that well. Or else, all of this will just go
poof!
And the answer came to my lips, Pangarap po.
Dad could not argue with that. Nobody could argue with an answer like that:
This is my dream.
And no matter how cheesy it is, this is simply what the book really is.
Its a dream. Its a tribute. Its faith.
The project started as writing exercises between Miko-chan and Iulia as they
lightly talked and joked about doing a compilation of short stories about the boy who
seeks answers and the girl who loves him. None of us have thought that we will get to
this point, that well actually finish the projectbecause we consider it as something that
will be done by other people, that it is an aspiration that is not meant to be realized by us.
But no one really knows how life turns out; and after two years since April
2008, we now hold this; A Fractured Fairytale: A Sasuke Sakura Alternate Universe
Anthology.
It had been an exhausting roadone filled with endless drafts, simultaneous
arguments, mountainous editingbut its the least that we can do as a tribute to the story
of a boy-man with broken eyes and a girl-woman with determined gazes that we fell in
love with seven years ago.
Together with 21 authors, eight artists, and many other contributors, the book
brings 36 original adaptations mainly featuring Uchiha Sasuke and Haruno Sakura in
settings far different from their world.
This anthology gives you a collection of tales, stories about the sweet taste of
firsts and bitter sounds of heartbreaks. The stories have put the characters in worlds,
featuring slices of lifebittersweet and ever so changing. Some have been made in
tribute to the dark and supernatural genres that have been explored for seven years on the
fandoms fanfiction, like fallen angels, vampires, the undead and mythical creatures.
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Others have dwelt on historical settings, like World War II, the Berlin Wall or the
Ottoman Resistance; while a number bring life to the characters in a contemporary flare.
The book expounds on soul mates and second chances, on solitude and
friendship, on giving up and believing. It is what I call the metaphorical paint which old
and new authors of the fandom use to illustrate a world, where possibilities are explored
and boundaries are stretched, into the canvas that is the readers mind.
They are achingly beautiful yet, for the critical eye, they can be imperfect and
unpolished. But isnt that how things really are? Filled with flaws and sincerity, almost
drawn out of a mysterious dream, just like how these two beautiful characters area
pairing that reflects how we view love: hopeful and resilient against the test of time.
hanabi-no-ai | 03.12.2010
I just realized I love their story because they taught me how to be passionate
about something.
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I seem to have loved you in numberless forms, numberless times
In life after life, in age after age, forever.
My spellbound heart has made and remade the necklace of songs,
That you take as a gift, wear round your neck in your many forms,
In life after life, in age after age, forever.
Whenever I hear old chronicles of love, it's age-old pain,
It's ancient tale of being apart or together.
As I stare on and on into the past, in the end you emerge,
Clad in the light of a pole-star piercing the darkness of time:
You become an image of what is remembered forever.
You and I have floated here on the stream that brings from the fount.
At the heart of time, love of one for another.
We have played along side millions of lovers, shared in the same
Shy sweetness of meeting, the same distressful tears of farewell-
Old love but in shapes that renew and renew forever.
Today it is heaped at your feet, it has found its end in you
The love of all mans days both past and forever:
Universal joy, universal sorrow, universal life.
The memories of all loves merging with this one love of ours
And the songs of every poet past and forever.
U n e n d i n g L o v e
Rabindranath Tagore
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Table of Contents
Fluff 17
And so the Snake Fell in Love with the Slug..18
Before He Cheats.26
Cannonball...36
Corona and Lime..................................47
Flights of Fancy....................................56
Home.....80
I'm Yours...................................87
Jizz in MyPants....129
Not a Date135
Red Carpet...141
Rockstar...167
Under the Sea..176
Angst 198
ECTO..199
La Carestia...218
Lamentations...245
Landing in London..286
Make-up Smeared Eyes...294
Mauer..302
Sorry...316
Stillborn Sighs....340
The Endymion Effect..348
The Human Stain................................385
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White Walls................................396
Romance 408
Ad Astra..409
Amore..456
Autompne.476
Colors and Cliches...484
Cry514
Falling Into History..................................529
Je Ne Sais Quoi551
Love is .........................................................................................................................574
Nadir582
Punk Rock Princess.................................627
Reckless...641
Scratch..................................657
The Artist.................................668
Portfolio...695
Illustrations..705
Glossary...706
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Once upon a time, there lived a genius boy who took himself too seriously and an annoying girl
who managed to get under his skin. In all the infinite mirror-parallel versions of how their love
came to blossom (or sputter into being), it always seemed like the universe was getting a kick out of
their indignities, hijinks, and sheer pigheaded denseness. Be it the karmic justice of being
reincarnated as a slimy invertebrate or the perennial awkwardness of a teens first crush, these
sweet, waffy, and even side-splitting, stories come together as fractured fairy tales.
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And so the Snake Fell in Love with the Slug
A pair of protruding, wet onyx eyesno, he corrected himselffeelers blearily
tried to reacquaint with the surroundings after their owner ate a satisfying amount of
mushrooms. Being so sated put him in an odd frame of mind. He fancied being in a form
so fantastical, so far removed from his current one. Let no one suggest that perhaps he
had lingered far too long over his meal. Psychedelic effects shouldnt even be mentioned.
This happened often, his thoughts wandering to the faded and frequent dreams
filled with clouds of rose strands and mist of emerald stares.
He barely remembered his old, tenuous existence: a young man with assets that
Narcissus would have paled at the sight of. But now, the illustrious Uchiha was reduced
to this bright, daisy-shaded blob, speckled with black spots across his slippery skin.
He recalled the life of a foolish knight, set on avenging his disgraced and
murdered family on his paramours kin. But because he had already been destined to a
tragic fate, he killed his princess, who sacrificed herself for his redemption. The clincher,
of course, was that she violated some rule about cavorting with evil, good-looking traitors
and was therefore condemned.
The gods decided to be merciful, though, and so gave them a second chance.
Now, he had to find Sakura in thisform.
The couple was told that this was their salvation. Heavenly compensations.
Karmic justice.
Feh, he snorted.
(Well, it would have been a snort if he still had his perfect, marble-like nose.)
If there was one thing that Sasuke was known for in all of his lives, it was the
fact that he was persistent. Sasuke was a consummate overachiever to a fault, willing to
sacrifice anything to accomplish a goal he had set his sights into. So even if he only had
his slimy belly as his foot, he would crawl to the ends of the earth with that single,
unworthy foot just to seek her.
Tonight was very pleasant; it was already late spring, and the gales were none
too frigid. It was the ideal end for the mating season. Or it would be, rather, if he did find
his long-sought partner. There was no other way. Sasuke had to find his mate or be
doomed with his virtue devoured, stolen the moment he lowered his guard, by the
hungry, gaping maws of those vulture-like slug whores.
And he meant that literally.
Well, it was really a hard day to find a pair of green-eyes (again, not eyes
feelers) from the multitude of slugs in the world. But as he finally arrived at one of the
slug mate soiree that he was invited to in this particular tomato garden, the marsh of
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yellow slush mesmerized him. There were couples of wriggling masses, entwined grey
and gold slush. He passively observed the meeting of bodies, their snug adherence like
two dollops of batter being twisted together and their subsequent separation like stretchy
mozzarella being forced into portions.
He was suddenly snapped out of his fascinated reverie, when a fat slimy creature
(those antenna-like eyes of hers were a glowing, greedy red, ew.) tapped him with the tip
of her tail.
"Hey, pretty slugie," she cooed, her mouth forming sucking noises as she half-
stood, showing off her little sharp teeth at him. "Can I chew your banana?"
Before she was even finished talking, he answered her as calmly as possible,
"No, you can't." And unlike any other indecent slug, he tried not to spit slime on her face.
Somebody already had my banana.
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However, his quick dismissal was ignored by the disgusting fan slug zombie as
she took a peek at his body.
"But," the shrill spurting noise was almost revoltingalmostsince he also
received those specks of gooey slime just as he was closing his mouth. Hes much more
afraid of her germs eating his more developed brain. "I can see your banana!"
There was not even a twitch.
"It must be taken," he answered seriously, watery onyx appendages fixed in the
wide expanse of the sky as a few blossoms blew past the horizon, "by my one true love.
As my sacrifice, I shall be offering it to her radula if we can't wiggle apart after our
passionate joining. I can bear the shame of being a female, a slug-making machine for all
of my life in compensation for my past sins."
"That's impossible," the insignificant life form replied back with more stray
ooze. "You can't have your one true love. You don't even have a real brain to think that
way."
Sasuke slithered away, or rather slinked away, from the place with a trail of
sludge following him, offended and insulted that though he was gifted with more
intelligence than the usual banana mollusk, he had yet to capture a glimpse of his beloved
amidst the decaying landscape. Occupied by his colossal indignationand the occasional
munching of a stray mushroom or twoSasuke did not seem to notice that he had
already crossed the garden and was already on the field of wild cogon.
Suddenly, there was a shrill shriek.
"Shinichi!" screamed a panicking little girl, her short bob swaying as her hands
waved at a young boy sitting on the fences and looking uninterestedly at them. "A slug, a
slug! Bring out the salt! Faster! It looks like a banana! We can finally see if it really
happens!"
Danger.
Sasuke tried to make his body move faster, but he was already panting his single
lung out with the amount of exertion he had utilized the past hour.
He was about to die. The child was already holding a jar of salt when suddenly it
appeared.
"KYAAA!"
But he was mistaken; it did not appear out of nowhere. It came from his rear.
"CHIAKI-KUUUN!" the child screeched in an alarming volumehe could feel
the loam quake. "SNAAAKE."
Which meant that he was prey, not gastropod-in-distress, to his savior.
"GAAAH.
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And so the brats scampered away, leaving him to a different, not necessarily less
unpleasant, demise.
Sasuke refused to curl up on the damp earth and just accept his pending doom.
He thought it would have been better if he died by being rubbed with salt instead. At
least, the massage would have been good.
The first signs of trepidation overcame him. He continued to ooze slime from his
pores in hopes that he wouldnt be eaten. Knowing that being as slippery as an eel, or
sludge, would make it harder for him to be captured did not make him feel betterit
would only make him easier to swallow.
His heartno, hemolymphit could not be called a heart if its just a bunch of
vessels being pumped with the constant twisting of his bodyshriveled in vigilance.
He shouldnt be trembling. He should be facing his death like the soldier he
once was, the brave man he had always been. With effort, he was about to use his powers
of turning into a stone as the snake whipped its tail, probably trying to capture him. Well,
he was going to survive this. He was a cool slug.
(Really cool. Read: ectothermic.)
But instead of the deadly tail wrapping around his body, it covered him with a
pile of earth.
Hn?
Ssstay there. He barely heard the warning as she went, darted awayto a
couple of other garden snakes.
Great. He could self-amputate and regenerate his parts should he get caught, but
it would still be impossible to survive if they were going to gang-eat him
No, go away. He heard the distinct shushes and hisses, in protest.
The snake was protecting him? But why?
Now that he could fully assess the creature that stood, or rather, crawled in front
of him, he was astounded with what he saw. The waxing moonlight bathed the reptile in
an almost silvery glow, but he had realized that the scales were the lightest shade of coral.
And her slitted eyes were not the usual moss color (and how did he feel that this
was a female, a woman...)
Hi?
She was here.
"You look..." Her voice was still as angelic as ever, sans her sporadic hissing
and spitting, "disgusting."
"How did you"
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"Sasuke," The female serpent snapped a fangy grin. "I was having my two
week-long beauty sleep. You know what snakes do." She slithered closer to him,
encircling him like a distant embrace in welcome. "I remember you used to have Manda,
right? It's spring. Mating season. So after I starved myself, I went on a hunt and then...."
"I smelled it" He couldnt believe that she reincarnated into one of the most
beautiful animals he had ever known. "I could recognize that scent anywhere, of mixed
pine and smoke and ah, even when its buried under all that unflattering slime. Yellow
doesn't really suit you. Well, maybe orange will do wonders with your complexion."
Her unique delectable aroma of cherries and vanillin, assaulted his senses. And
he then started curling up to the creature that he had been waiting for all his life.
He was absolutely pleased when Sakura seemed to be ecstatic in being slathered
by his foot. Slithering through the smooth textured skin that belonged to her, he was
about to put his protruding mouth over the petals of her cloaca when
BANG!
"Naruto."
There was a dangerous growl that made the astounding nanny of the night look
up from the nest of black-haired, green-eyed babes.
"Get," Sasuke snarled, storming into the porch as he clutched the door knob that
was in danger of being torn off, out.
"You party pooper! We're just getting to the good part." He flipped another page
on the thick, leather-bound tome. "This is better than watching those boring
documentaries that you keep around the house. I had to unglue them from the TV.
Theyre so addicted to those sciencewhat? Ino goes Wild geographic shows! This is
way more"
"Or I swear in everything thats holy," Sasuke whipped up the speaker phone
from the bedside table. There was an unspoken warning that after using the mobile, he
would definitely crack it over Naruto's empty skull, "Sakura will make you go."
"Bedtime, kids!"
There was a chorus of protest from the distraught daughters of the Uchiha
household: a wailing "WAAAH, DADDY! NOOO, FINISH IT, UNCLE, a demanding
"WE WANNA KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO THEM," and a worried "WON'T LADY
SNAKE GET STUCK AND SUCKED BY KNIGHTY SLUG? O-OR HE MIGHT
EVEN DIE!"
Their father merely glared at the grinning Naruto.
The brief impasse was then followed by a cacophony of sniffles.
The youngest of the cornucopia, who happened to be the only boy, had merely
been observing his sisters from a distance under the gleam of his wiry glasses, flipping
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what seemed to be a thick tome of colorful images. Sasuke should have paid more
attention to this particular action, but he was still distracted by his female triplets, all of
whom were flashing pleading, half-chiding looks at him and their uncle-by-
bestfriendship.
Looking a bit lost, Naruto could only watch as the three little girls turned their
best pitiful puppy-eyed expressions to full-blast, wordlessly begging Daddy for the
storys conclusion.
It came with an explosive sigh: "Snake kisses the slug."
The blond hid a growing smirk. He just knew Papa Sasuke could never do
anything that would disappoint his lovely girls.
"He turns into a prince. She turns into a princess."
The sly, fox-like grin widened. "And they lived happily ever after," Naruto
finished with flourish. "Isn't that nice?"
When Naruto had exhausted reading Sakura's collection of childhood fairytales,
the dumb idiot took upon the challenge to be the best storyteller in the world, believe it!
Who knew that the dead last could be so creative? They began talking about amphibians,
flying ninjas and neon-orange candy villains that would eat you if you didn't brush your
teeth. It was a blessing at first, since it kept the children preoccupied while the couple did
their jobs. But god help him! One day, Sasuke recognized the softly-spoken opening
scenes being cited from the latest Icha Icha Beginnings. His tiny lasses were but four.
Even worse, Ita-chan seemed to have soaked up the whole thing with his
sponge-like mind and recited the whole damn book at the breakfast table. He was also at
the wonderful age of four that time.
This resulted to Sasuke being left in charge to arrive in their one big-family
bedroom at exactly nine p.m. sharp.
"Yes. End of the story." He would not allow their innocent ears to be corrupted
by any ear-cringing details. "Go to sleep."
There was a collective cheer, and the girls hopped over the thick coverlet to kiss
the now-relieved Papa on his cheeks, who was mentally giving himself a triumphant pat
on the back for solving the dilemma.
His son, upon whom Sakura doted often enough to be spoiled, now turned its
attention onto the scenario. Diving under the sheets with his sisters, young Itachi was
very reserved as his sisters pestered the boy to stop reading and won't Ita-chan sleep
already? They cosseted their charming little brother in their efforts to persuade him.
Taking off the little ones glasses and closing off his book, Sasuke had the
tenacity to repress the urge to run when he caught a glimpse of what his boy was reading:
his mother's old pre-med biology text.
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"But Dad," Itachi-kun asked with a confident smile, knowing that his parents
knew everything because they always had these intellectual discussions during bedtime,
ever since he learned to multiply three digit numbers mentally. (He was 39 months old
then.) "How can a slug become a prince if he still has both of his genitalia? And if
apophallation occurred during their courtship ritual, shouldnt it have become the
princess?"
Naruto went cross-eyed.
Sasuke swore that he saw blood leaking from the poor idiot's ears. At any rate,
he didnt have time to give the beating his so-called bestfriend deserved. He had to talk
very, very fast to save a young and impressionable mind from the mires of moral
destitution.
***
The next day, Sakura just arrived from her graveyard shift, expecting a warm
plate of toast, eggs and milk from her darling babies. She never felt tired during
mornings, especially when it was time to spend traditional Saturday morning cartoons
with them.
Lo and behold, her little girls were watching, squeeing often in admiration, a Nat
Geo Gone Wild episode.
"Ita-chaaan, wanna watch The Miracle of Life? They remind me of Princess
Slugy!"
"Eeeh! But Slugy is a Prince. Daddy said so!"
"But Ita-chan is a weasel! Uncle said weasels are smart! Smarter than Daddy!
Do you want more eggs, Ita-chan?"
"...Yes, please, oneesama."
Sakura glared at Sasuke.
"It's the idiot," he retorted his only and purely valid excuse for not tuning them
to Disney Channel.
And because it was tradition, Sakura only gave him a critical eye, pecked a soft
kiss on his left twitching brow, and proceeded to save her children from becoming genius
spawns (like a certain disreputable relative she would not name.)
"Who wants to watch UP?
Mama!
***
We need a new babysitter, Sasuke told his wife gravely.
Narutos doing fine, she said dismissively. She was concentrating on the
documentary on rainforest carnivores, which was incidentally on Animal Planet, after UP
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finished playing. Besides, who was the cheapskate who bullied his best friend into this
unpaid sideline stint?
Sasuke wasnt happy about being reminded, actually.
Im almost done with my residency, so. . . Anyway, whats with the kids
newfound obsession on slugs?
Sakura thought he might have blinked. Maybe.
Who knows how things catch their attention these days, he answered coolly.
Wormholes and M-string theories. . . Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner. . .
Those were Ita-chans interests last month, dear. Come to think of it, its
always his interests that catch on.
Final Fantasy IX and . . . Kujas codpiece. There was a hint of nausea in her
husbands mutter. Your children are monsters.
She could distinctly remember the cries of, DADDY~ WEAR THEM TO
PROTECT THE FAMILY JEWELS! KYAAN~, but she tried not to laugh for his dignitys
sake. I believe, they get it from your side of the family, she said primly. Besides,
whose brother was it that introduced RPG & FPS to a triplet of eight-year old girls?
Remind me not to invite niisan till theyre at least thirty years old. Can you
imagine once theyre in puberty?
But Sakura didnt get a chance to answer the strange query, as she was
distracted by a faint sniffle behind her.
Whats wrong, darling? Immediately, the pink-haired doctor turned her
attention to her youngest child.
Itachi had fallen asleep once the credits started rolling but was now standing
beside her, clutching a blanket. Did you have a bad dream?
The sniffles turned to a full-blown wail as the little prodigy buried his face on
his mothers chest. Sakura turned to her husband with a puzzled look, who merely shook
his head once.
Ita-chan?
D-D-Daddy. . .
She sighed. What did Daddy do this time?
Sasuke gave her a dirty look. She waved him away imperceptibly.
W-What if M-Mamas c-c-cloaca was too s-strong? And D-DaddyDaddyll
autotomize like P-P-Prince Sluggy and and WONT HE BECOME A PRINCESS
TOO?
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Sakuras expression was bewildered now. It always gave her a turn whenever
her baby was actually acting and talking his agesprinkled lightly with the usual
hifalutin words like meningococcemia prophylaxis or Milankovitch cycles.
Cloaca? she repeated. Autotomize? What on earth
Mama! the boy sounded urgent now. I lied, mama! I dont want a baby
brother, I really dont. I want Daddy to stay as Daddy. I want Daddy! I dont want
another Mama! There is only one Mama!
W
I saw Daddy kissing Mama, Itachi accused.
But you see that all the
I saw Mama chewing on Daddys earlobe!
. . .
It starts like that, doesnt it? the boy demanded angrily. Then, then, like
Prince Slugy and Princess Snake, youll cover each other with slime and goo andand
youll be biting and nudging each other andandput your heads together andand
twist around like corkscrew andandlie around for hours and hours on end!
Uchiha Itachi, you stop it this instant! his father thundered. Youre upsetting
your mother
AND AT THE END! Ita-chan continued stubbornly. And at the end, if-if D-
Daddys retractor muscle isnt strong enough to pull away, and Mamas teeth catches
himWE WONT HAVE A DADDY ANYMORE! NOOO, DADDY! I love Daddy! I
love Prince Slugy! Huuuh
The said Daddy was rendered speechless. His proud little boy was hugging him
of his own accord? True, the little bugger was also sniveling all over his favorite dress
shirt, never mind that he just compared his own parents activities. . . to hermaphroditic
banana slugs, but awww. . . what a cute kid.
Mommy, meanwhile, was busy putting two and two together.
N-NARUTO! Where is that bastard? I am going to GUT him! WHAT THE
HELL HAVE YOU BEEN TEACHING MY CHILD?
Somewhere else, a certain Uzumaki Naruto was about to click on a YouTube
video entitled: banana slugsautoapophallation, unaware of the extensive therapy he
would need to undergo the next following months.
Before He Cheats
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Dont you think youre overreacting?
Sakura patted her baseball bat lovingly.
Even just a little?
She then glanced at Ino, who was staring at her with a weary smile.
I am not overreacting! Sakura yelled, smashing the headlights of the car that
just so happened to belong to her boyfriendex-boyfriend! He cheated on me! Sakura
screeched. She stepped on the tire to lift herself onto the hood. Her cell phone rang but
when she saw who the caller was, she threw it away, effectively breaking the device. He
just proposed to some pretty little blonde!
Yeah but
Ino smiled jadedly.
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Do you really think trashing his car is necessary, Sakura?
I DO!
Standing on the very top, Sakura bent over slightly and hit the front windshield,
shattering the glass to hundreds of pieces after a few attempts.
Hes a bastard! the pink-haired girl continued. THE BIGGEST BASTARD
IN THE HISTORY OF BASTARDS! A BIG, FATBUT NOT REALLY FAT-FAT
CHEATING BASTARD! I HATE HIM, I HATE HIM, I HATE HIM! She then jumped
off of the trashed black SUV and pulled a Swiss Army knife out of her back pocket. She
went over to the back tire
Sakura!
and stabbed it.
Okay, Sakura, if you werent holding a knife, Id so go over there and stop you
right now, Ino grumbled, looking down at her nails and frowning at a tiny crack at the
tip of one. But really, Sakura, just calm down, please. Im sure Sasuke has a perfect
explanation
NO!
With a bit of a struggle, the enraged Sakura dragged the knife down the thick
rubber, widening the hole she created. When the tire was ruined to a satisfying extent, she
tucked the weapon back to her jeans.
Ino, I saw himwith my own freaking eyesget out some stupid and
beautiful and perfectly Sakura-ish ring and then propose to some girl! she shrieked.
After finishing with the tires, she kicked its rims for the sake of trying to do
some damage, and then took out her house key, digging it into the side of his car. She
growled slightly as she ruined the doors flawless paintjob.
A tear or two fell from her eyes but she furiously wiped them away with the
back of her hand.
He is so gonna regret cheating on me!
***
Ah, Karin Sasuke greeted tonelessly. Youre
He almost gagged.
Blonde.
His twin smiled at him brightly and flipped her bleached locks over her
shoulder, flirtatiously smiling at the men at the nearby tables. Sasuke fought the urge to
roll his eyes at her annoying actions, but he had been stuck with the girl since conception
so he was used to it.
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Nevertheless, the one thing that he would probably never get used to was her
constant need to dye her hair.
She had had black hair as a child but ever since she turned ten and became
aware of how diverse colors could be, she started experimenting on stuffslike dyeing
her hair. He remembered that she tried to be a redhead once, and then a brunette.
And now a blonde.
You look terrible, he told her bluntly. Im ashamed to be related to you.
Karin stopped in flipping her hair to gawk at Sasuke and immediately glared.
How dare you! Youre the one who made me come out here to help you with god-
knows-what, Mr. Mysterious and Moronic! Yesh! Now, make it quick, I have a photo
shoot at five.
Its only ten-thirty. Were having brunch, idiot.
She rolled her eyes and flashed him a toothy grin.
Fine, she said. The truth is, I just cant stand to be in your presence for more
than three minutes With a dramatic gasp, she looked down at her designer watch and
then smirked back at Sasuke. And oh, well would you look at that, its already been
three minutes. I guess I should be on my way.
Sasuke rubbed his temples.
God, do you ever shut up? he growled.
Tch, do you ever stop being a prissy bitch?
Oh, thats rich coming from you.
WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
With a huff, she crossed her arms and glared at her little brother.
Seriously though, what do you want? Karin asked. Her voice was almost
concerned, but Sasuke knew better.
Do you remember my girlfriend
I thought you were gay.
Sakura.
Laughing at how easy it was to goad Sasuke, Karin slowly nodded.
Yes, I do. Pink hair, green eyes? she inquired rhetorically. Yes, I remember
her. Shes quite the pretty one, you know, she commented, thinking back on two
Christmases ago when Sasuke had brought his lady-love to meet the family. That was the
last time Karin had seen the girl due to her busy schedule as a model, but she
remembered how well she thought that the Sakura girl suited her grumpy twin. Whats a
cutie like her still doing with a loser like you?
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As she giggled at her own joke, Sasuke counted to ten under his breath.
After a minute, Karin calmed down and asked, So really, Sasuke, what do you
want?
I need help.
She raised a blonde eyebrow.
With what?
***
Sakura stretched her arms over her head and let out an unladylike yawn as she
walked home from the hospital. She was in her second year of residency at Konoha
General and she just finished a forty-hour shift. Well technically, it was only thirty-eight
hours, since she left earlier because she just couldnt wait to go home and sleep.
Sasuke was probably home, she thought as she walked towards their shared
condominium. His family owned a few of Konohas hottest night clubs and just recently
opened a restaurant, which was currently a celebrity hangout. He usually worked there
with the precious Blackberry she had bought him for Valentines Day a few months ago.
There were only a few things Sasuke loved in the world, and Sakura knew each
and every one of them.
His mother, of course.
(At one point, his sister was in the list but Sasuke proved her wrong time and
time again whenever the redheador was it brunette?was mentioned. Apparently, she
was the cause of his hatred towards clowns, makeup and just about anything with sugar.)
Theiror well, more so hispet snake Manda, who gave Sakura the chills
whenever it stuck its tongue out in her direction.
The Blackberry Curve, which he needed for work.
Tomatoes.
His pretty little souped-up four-wheel drive, that he spent much of his university
years prettying.
(Even Sakura loved that thing. It was kind of what brought them together.
Sakuras dad and her older brother owned the repair shop, which Sasuke had showed up
at many years ago looking for something she knew nothing about when she just so
happened to be lurking in the garage. He had asked her about something car-related, and
she only managed to reply with a huh? before her dad came to save their customer.)
Lastly, there was
Her.
Sakura.
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He was very subtle in showing her that fact, if he ever did it at all. Sasuke did
not do bouquets of flowers or boxes of chocolatealthough sometimes, she wished he
didbut he was always there when she needed him and while they were together, he
made sure she never had to want
Her stomach grumbled.
Speaking of wants, apparently, the last few granola bars and cups of coffee were
not doing much to sate her hunger. She looked down the road and saw the small caf
where she and Sasuke had their first actual date for brunch (it was supposed to be for
breakfast, but she ended up waking up late).
When he had asked her out, she thought he was weird asking for breakfast. But
being the nutrition-freak that he was, Sasuke merely told her about the importance of the
said mealespecially for her, with her long hours and hectic job.
As she approached the quaint restaurant, hoping to get a table on the deck and
find a newspaper someone left behind, she gawked at what she saw.
There, sitting at a table in the center of the deck was Sasuke.
With some bleach-blonde tramp who seemed to be flirting.
Sure, Sasuke was rolling his eyes over and over and was staring at the blonde
skankgirlapathetically, but Sakura still saw red.
OH. MY. GOD.
***
Karin threw her head back and laughed loudly, uncaring about all the people
staring at her.
You need my help proposing to your little girlfriend?
Repeating Sasukes predicament only made things funnier.
The blonde clutched her sides as she gasped for air. She could feel Sasukes
heated glare on her but paid it no heed. It was not every day her youngerby two
minutes and five seconds!brother would come to her for advice on women.
I dont need your help, Sasuke hissed, taking offence from her words. I
would simply like your advice.
Karin calmed down and rolled her eyes. She then sighed and propped her head
up with her palm as she leaned against the table.
Well show it to me, idiot, she ordered.
He frowned.
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Show me the ring, she clarified. Karin felt as though she was talking to a
retardalthough at the moment, she technically was, since Sasuke was one when it came
to matters of love and romanceher younger twin truly was in need of special help.
Oh. Right. Sasuke stuck his hand in his pocket and retrieved the small velvet
case. He held it in one hand and opened it for Karin with the other. Here. What do you
think?
When she saw it, Karin gasped and her eyes widened slightly.
Sasuke looked happy. He relished the momentit was not every day his sister
would just shut the hell up.
But he knew her silence was too good to be true.
What? Is it too plain or something?
Karin shook her head, still not speaking. No, Sasuke She looked up from
the ring to her brother. Its perfect for her.
Sasuke scowled. You dont even know her.
She rolled her eyes then stared back down at the engagement ring. It was a
simple silver band with a rectangular diamond gracefully enhanced by two triangular side
stones. She knew if Sasuke had wanted to, he could have bought Sakura a much more
extravagant ring, but it was a matter of how well the piece of jewelry would suit her, and
Karin knew that Sakura would love what Sasuke had gotten.
Yes, Karin replied honestly. But I do know shell love this.
Sasukes face softened and he faintly smiled. Thank you.
She nodded.
A short moment of peace passed between the siblings but both knew it would
not last.
Karin grinned widely and put a hand over the one Sasuke was using to hold the
box.
Can I try it on, please?
***
He is so gonna regret cheating on me!
Sakura picked up the baseball bat she had discarded earlier to resume hitting the
car.
I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM! I
Love him, Ino interrupted. Obviously, this is a love-thing. If you hated him
and he cheated on you, I highly doubt you would react like this. If you hated him, you
would be out sipping a latte and reading a smutty novel, not destroying his car
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INO, WOULD YOU JUST SHUT UP?
She didnt.
nope, this is a love thing. Love is whats making you react like this.
GO AWAY. YOURE NO HELP TO THE MATTER AT HAND
Give me that! Ino ordered. She took the Louisville Slugger out of Sakuras
flailing hands and threw it to the ground. She then grabbed the girl by the shoulders and
forced Sakura to look her in the eyes. I know youre hurting right now Sakura, but you
need to calm down.
Shut up! Sakura yelled as she stepped away from the blonde. Were in my
dads shop, not the hospital. Go work your psych magic somewhere else!
Sakura
Ino sighed as she looked at the mess that was Sasukes car. Sakura sure as hell
was going to have a lot of explaining to do when her dad sees the destruction his little
goodie-goodie angel did to his best customers car.
Are you absolutely positive Sasuke was cheating? Ino asked.
No.
Her blue eyes widened at Sakuras response.
WHAT? she yelled. You destroyed his car without even knowing for sure
that he cheated on you?
Yes.
***
Theres no answer, Sasuke muttered, throwing the phone onto the couch. Its
going straight to her voicemail.
Maybe she realized youre a loser and decided to leave you, Karin drawled as
she twisted her hair into a sophisticated but casual bun with the help of the tiny mirror in
her compact. I would to, if I were her.
Would it kill you to just shut up?
Would it kill you to take that stick out of your ass?
Sasuke paid her insult no heed and began looking through his cell phones
phonebook for Sakuras pager number.
She said she was coming home around noon, at the latest, Sasuke said, paging
his girlfriend. Where the hell is she?
Well, you already heard what I had to say, she murmured, standing up from
her seat in Sasukes dining room.
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She put the compact back in her designer purse and began heading towards the
door with Sasuke following behind her. After slipping on her boots, she looked at Sasuke
one more time. Her twin actually looked nervous.
Karin rolled her eyes.
Itll be fine, she reassured. She pecked him on the cheek, barely even touching
him and gave him a small hug
Right when Sakura decided to come home.
***
Sakuras jaw dropped for a second before she regained her composure only to
lose it again as she grew livid.
I cant believe him! In our apartment! ARE YOU SHITTING ME?
Ah, Sakura.
Karinnot as dumb as her brotherunderstood the expression on the girls face
and tried not to snort. Did Sakura really think Sasuke was cheating on her? The idiot
barely showed interest in one girl, how could he do it for two?
Oh, please, Karin sniggered. She pushed away from the hug and stepped
towards the door. It was nice seeing you again, Sakura.
With her final words said, Karin left the apartment
I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU!
Sasuke winced when Sakuras fist came into contact with his arm. Her face was
red and her eyes were watery and she looked like she had been crying. Whats wrong
with you? he muttered, trying not to seem too concernedthat just might ruin his
image.
She hit him again.
How can you even ask that! Sakura yelled. Youre cheating on me! DID
YOU REALLY THINK I WOULDNT KICK YOUR ASS WHEN I FOUND OUT?
Cheating? Sasuke looked rather annoyed. What the hell made you think
Im cheating on you?
Uh, hm, the hot blonde that totally just walked out of here! she growled back,
waving her arms wildly. How could you, Sasuke? What, in our bedroom too, huh
Ew. Dont even say that.
Sakura felt her heart breaking at the way he was acting. Didnt he care? Didnt
he care even just a little bit that he was hurting her?
Why not? Sakura whimpered. Its the truth, isnt it?
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Sasuke snorted. Fuck no. He pulled her crying form into his warm embrace
and wrapped his arms around her trembling form. Reluctantly, she buried her face into
his chest and he rubbed her back awkwardly, hoping to make her feel better. Sakura, that
was my sister
She pulled away after a moment to blink at him confusedly.
What?
He sighed. That girlthe hot blonde as you so eloquently and falsely put it?
That was Karin.
No Sakura wiped at her tears and then frowned at him. Karins a
redhead
Yeah, she was, Sasuke corrected. She said she dyed her hair last week or
something.
BBut! Sakura shook her head furiously, struggling to come to terms with
what she saw and Sasukes explanation. I saw you propose to her! You gave her a ring!
She even put it on! She sputtered her next few words, still very confused. I saw you!
You and your ringyour perfect, perfect ring for
And suddenly, she understood the ring and Karin and Sasukes recent
secretiveness.
Me?
Hn Sasuke reached into his pocket and then opened the box in front of
Sakura. Yeah, its for you. I was planning to propose to you back at the caf since Im
sure you wouldve liked that, but I guess thisll do
He was cut off by her lips on his and the air being knocked out of his lungs as
she tackled him to the ground. Straddling his hips, she proceeded to kiss him until he put
a hand on her shoulder to gently push her away despite her eager attempts to continue.
Nn Sakura, stop
She paid him no heed.
Your dad told me my car wouldnt be ready this afternoon.
Still on top of him, Sakura froze and struggled to figure out what to do. She
thought back to the car she demolished out of blind rage and tried to figure out how she
would cover up the fact that she did itwhich would be hard, considering she had carved
her name into the drivers seat.
She laughed awkwardly and affectionately drew patterns on his chest.
Oh. Right. About that
Disclaimer: NARUTO 1999 by Masashi Kishimoto & Shueisha Inc. | Fractured Tales Project 2010 | 36
Cannonball
Sasuke had always been a horrible swimmer.
He was too tense, too aware, too suretoo stiff, like boards, like walls, like
pride.
Sakura laughed at him a lot of the time, but she was rude that way, and he had
accepted it as part of herresigned himself to a small eternity of her hushed sighs and
constant interruptions. She poked him in the shoulder, her nail digging near his bone,
when he explained this with the patience that usually characterized her, moments before a
fit of pique.
Youre annoying, he groused, tired and wetsoaking in too much river water,
slowly drying under the sunlight. He kicked small stones out of his sandals with a frown.
His hair hung limp, and decidedly undignifieda waterfall in blue-black. You talk too
much. And you play around, and act less-than-half your age. You should be ashamed of
yourself.
Oh, be quiet, Sakura said, playfully. Youre just angry because I had to
rescue you. She smiled, vaguely wicked, and entirely unsettling. I had to save you
from drowninglike you were some pretty, pretty princess.
Che, Sasuke said, making a face. I can still taste you. Sakura colored a bit
at the reminder, but recovered admirably. Thankfully, Sasuke didnt comment. And I
wouldnt have fallen in, if you hadnt been having those odd muscle spasms on the
dock.
I was dancing!
You were flailing, he sneered.
Yeah? Well, you float like a rock, you uptight jerkface!
Hn, he saidgruntedhis generic response to everything save catastrophe,
and annoying as it was to be in her debt, it wasnt quite that. He bent over, hands on his
kneesshook his head to rid it of the wetnesspurposely dripping on her brand new
sandals in the process. Sakura shriekedas he knew she wouldbefore falling in a
clumsy heap.
Well, youre frumpy, she said, trying very hard to be appropriately angry,
though her smile was ruining the overall effect. Youre frumpy, and boring, and dull. If
I hadnt been around, you wouldve fallen into your unnecessarily deep, dark, dank pit of
teenage angst. And you wouldve stayed there until the time came for you to sell your
soul to Armani, and walk around with your Blackberry, and your nose upyour eyes to
the sky. What with the way you would have gone, you would have forgotten what the
ground looks like. You should be thankful you have me around to save you from
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yourself. She patted herself on the shoulder, her features artfully arranged in an
expression of mock-suffering.
And what would be so wrong with that? he asked, intrigued by the last
comment, even as he ignored the rest of her spiel. After youve spent these five years
telling me to aim high, and reach for the sky, Id think youd be delighted.
Yes, Sasuke-kun, Sakura said, leaf-green eyes now wide and serious. Reach
for the sky. But dont ever forget what the ground feels like underneath your feet. Touch
the sky, but not at the expense of losing your ground.
Whatever. That doesnt even make sense, and you talk too much, he said,
annoyed again at her flights of fancy. Sakura was impossible, he thought, as he watched
her fold their blanket, and then pick up the leftovers from their impromptu picnic.
Bookish, but dreamy, and disappointingly romanticshe was a study in opposites. At
once fickle and obstinate, firm but kindand he hated how inadequate it was, that
shesvexing, and soothing, all in one breath.
What are you staring at, she said, her voice softer now, as she held the wicker
basket containing half-a-bowl of watermelon close to her chest. Her green eyes were
wide and fixed on his face, uncertainty and hesitation etched on her every feature. He
smirked at her lack of artifice. Sakuras face read like a favorite novelan old book,
with familiar lines and creases.
Im sorry. I thought I heard some low buzzing sound from the vicinity of my
ankles. Would you happen to knowow! Damn it, stop hitting me, you harpy!
Im not short!
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There was an unconventional sort of liberation in her pink hair, he thought, as he
smirked inwardly at the way her cheeks puffed out with all her ire. There was a sense of
resolve in her green eyesa freedom that allowed dissonance, a freedom to be
mismatched, to be
To be.
***
Sakura liked to touch him.
He could never tell if she meant tomostly, they were brushes of her hand
against his, nudged shoulders, poked sides and, on one occasion, three accidentally-
tangled fingers on the way home from school.
Sorry, she said, when they reached his home, hoping his mother had not seen
their hasty disentanglement. Her cheeks just barely matched her hair, and had he been
the type, he wouldve smiled a little at her flustered state. As it was, Sasuke pretended he
didnt notice the flush on her cheeks, pretended he had not heard his mothers gentle
teasing, and that he had not noticed his fathers quiet approval.
Itachi smirked, looking comfortable and cool from his position against the
kitchen countertop.
Whats this, Sasuke? What kind of gentleman allows the girl to walk him
home?
Are you staying for dinner, Sakura-chan? Mikoto asked, while behind her
Sasukes eyes promised retribution for Itachis quip.
Ium, I, that is Sakura began, fumbling over her words, and her hands
fluttering at her sides. She had known Sasuke for five years, and that had been her first
invitation. Sasuke had always ushered her out the door with all due haste, and now
stuttering and awkward waif that she wasblocking the light and, bungling her first
impression, Sakura thought rather dismally that she understood why. Thankfully,
Sasukes mother had the goodness to rescue her from the sea of incoherency.
Yes, by all means, Fugaku, lets set another place, Mikoto said, answering her
own question. Wed love for you to stay, wouldnt we Sasuke?
I just spent the last eight hourswhatever. Sakura, do what you want, he
grumbled, and turned away from her bright eyes to reach for a freshly-baked biscuit.
Sakuras smile strained at his reaction and grew tight at the corners, and she
shook her head, in an effort to avoid Fugakus knowing eyes.
Maybe another time, Uchiha-san. I need to get home.
She slipped out, amidst protests, shaking her head and smiling wide-open, like
windows in June. Sasuke looked at her retreating form from his seat at the dining room
table, noting with practiced ease the amount of effort she expended to avoid looking at
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him. He could have been nicer, he supposed. But he couldnt understand why she had
taken such offense. He had said much worse, and had ignored her more thoroughly on
other occasions.
Perhaps there was something else on her mind. He would ask her about it
tomorrow, Sasuke decided, before tucking into his dinner.
***
Sasuke was thoroughly confused.
Hed tried calling Sakura when he saw her at her locker, only to be ignored.
After he had hastily stuffed the rest of his books into his own meager space, he had
walked to the end of the hall where she was making the turn to go to homeroom. When
she had heard his footsteps, she had quickened her pace, almost as though she was
avoiding him. To make things worse, he had been waylaid by that idiot Naruto, who
insisted time-after-time that they were rivals, and that Sasuke had better watch out
because Naruto had been watching him, and no, not in the happy way, you pervertugh,
no! And now, he was in the middle of receiving a brain-numbing lecture on the many
reasons you suck, and should bow down to my incredible awesome, garnished with a
dollop of no wonder Sakura-chan hates you, and your girly face, what the hell did you
do, you bastard? Sasuke ignored the normal grammatically incorrect vitriol, biting back
the urge to tell Naruto that he would be a hell of a lot more intimidating if he exchanged
that orange track-suit for something more respectable, like, oh, maybe a beanie.
What did you say about Sakura, dead-last?
Predictably, Naruto huffed, sucking in nearly all the air in the surrounding
countryside.
I am not a dead-last, you stupid prissy-facedpriss!
Sasuke sneered.
Focus, you idiot. Sakura?
Naruto snapped back to attention, unholy mischief lighting in his wide blue
eyes.
She hates you. She never wants to talk to you again. She asked me if she
could join my
nonexistent harem, Sasuke quipped, bored.
my fanclub, you asshole, shut the hell up, with your hair gel, and your stupid
eyeliner, what the hell do you know, anyway?
For the hundredth time, Sasuke said, voice now sharp with impatience, I do
not wear eyeliner, and this is my hairs natural state. Not that I should be explaining
myself to losers like you.
Ha! Naruto gloated. I notice you havent denied anything I said about
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Sakura-chan!
Thats because he knows it isnt true, and Sasuke-kun isnt the type to mince
words, said a new voice, floating over from the now opened doorway. Sakura stood
there with a smile twitching on her lips, but she still had not deigned to give Sasuke a
second glance.
Weve already started, and you two are officially late. She moved her gaze to
the white walls behind them both, her hands still playing with the blue tie at her neck.
The amusement in her eyes was almost tangible now, and Sasuke could almost hear the
giggles.
What arent you telling us?
She turned a pinched look at something over his shoulder, before replying
huffily.
Kakashi-sensei thanks you both for the extra assignment that youll both be
presenting tomorrow morning.
What sort of assignment? Naruto asked suspiciously, crush momentarily
forgotten.
You have two choices, Sakura said, primly smoothing down the folds of her
skirt. You can either give a comprehensive report on the history of sex as
conceptualized by the ancients
Or? Sasuke asked, willing her to acknowledge him.
An interpretive dance, she said, now addressing her green-painted nails,
depicting a fertility rite from ancient Mesopotamia, complete with full headdress.
Homemade, of course.
Naruto gaped at her in disbelief, before pouting, and then trudging into the
classroom, unwilling to bear the brunt of any more punishment. Sasuke looked at
Sakura, who stood holding the door open, her pink hair like a curtain around her face.
There were small snuffling sounds coming from her, andfor a momenthe worried
that she might have started crying.
Sakura, he began, almost sorry. He lifted a wavering hand to slowly nudge
her chin up, but before his fingers could get within her eyes reach, her head snapped up;
and she looked at him, her white teeth poking out of her mouth to bite her lip in an effort
to keep from laughing too loudly. Sasuke lowered his hand back to his side before she
could see it, but Sakura was too busy trying to control the sudden fit of giggles that had
escaped her to notice anything other than the quietly surprised look on his face.
It serves him right, she thought, as she laughed softly, her breaths coming like
gasps.
Sasuke almost rolled his eyes at her immaturity, but his inbred gravity wouldnt
allow it.
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Satisfied? he asked instead, dry like wit.
A bit, she said, her eyes still bright with mirth.
Your hurt, he thought, as he ushered her back into the classroom, and took his
usual seat at her side, your hurt, for my humiliation, though he still didnt understand
yesterdays distance.
Still, all in all, it was a fair exchange.
***
Sometimes, Sakura wondered when they had begun.
It was difficult to remember their meeting, she supposed, as ordinary as it had
beenshe had done her best to block it out. Children were cruel, she thought ruefully,
and anyone who disagreed, needed only to glance at the nearest playground. There was
always one who was singled out, one decidedly different, even if the reasons were
unknown at the time. Shed been teased for that particular anomalybecause that was
what she had been, even if the children had not known the word yetpast the point of
tears.
And then, she had come, an avenging angel with sunlight in her hair and the sky
in her eyes, with her red ribbons and purple barrettes, and she had pushed them away, had
walked her home, had been her center.
Yamanaka Inowho had been as loud as she was quiet, as strong as she had
been weak, as bright as she had been shadowed. It was a match made of opposites, and
for a while, she had thrived, picking cosmos and blowing bubbles under dappled sunlight.
And then, she remembered with barest regret, and then, we had to go and grow
up, and I went and realized that it wasnt enough.
She had loved Ino, and Ino had loved her, she knew.
But Ino had loved Sasuke too, and that was when the trouble had started.
We cant be best friends anymorenot if we like the same guy, Ino had said
with childlike solemnity. Her voice had not wavered, even when her resolve had.
So were rivals now, she had replied, not a question, not an answer.
I wont lose to you, Sakura, and I wont go easy on you.
I dont want you to, Sakura had replied, returning her talisman, a strip of red
she had worn in her hair every day before.
Looking back on it now, Sakura still wondered why Sasuke had chosen her.
When she asked him, all she received was his generic responseyou were less
annoying, and she was louder than your hair.
Still, she smiled at the memory. He had stepped in a few months after, to save
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her from another of her pink-clad demons. Ino had watched from the sidelines, a look of
resentment on her face, but, Sakura fancied, hopefully, a bit of gratitude, too.
As it was, their relationship consisted of a series of highs and lows, glaring
matches in the halls, and stilted hellos whenever they happened to meet on the street.
She still missed her, but there was time, yet.
There was a little girl in her, a ghost she had yet to banish, and she preferred it
that way. She wouldnt change her past, no matter how much she had cried, and hoped,
and wanted. For one, it would have changed her present, and she was quite happy with
her current state of affairsliar, it whispered, fitful and honest, and she tamped that box
shutand for another
For another, it had given her Sasukerestitution in blue flip-flops, and black
jeans, with a smell like sandalwood, with a smile like snow in July.
***
She was standing too close to him.
Sasuke shifted his weight, and allowed his irritation to flash across his face. The
frown lines that his mother teased his father about were apparently a hereditary trait, if
Sakura was to be believed.
You could irrigate an entire country, Sasuke-kun, with those grooves on your
forehead.
Feh, he grunted, because she smelled like skin and rainwater, and it was
terribly unromantic, and who was she to talk about foreheads? She was still entirely too
close. What the hell are we doing here, anyway?
Well, Sasuke-kun, she said, putting one slim finger on her cheek, her eyes
crossed, as though she were deep in thought. Theres a Ferris wheel about fifty-three
steps to the left, and a cotton candy stand due north. There are flashing lights, and crying
children, and you said youd win me a stuffed animal before night fell, so obviously
I never said that, he interjected, before she flashed him a look.
so, obviously, she continued, as though he hadnt spoken, were at a
carnival. And were here to have fun.
I hate fun, Sasuke groused. I could be doing something important, like
working on my college applications, or studying for our exams, or at least looking for
internships. Were not all like you, with your ridiculous IQ, and your almost-top rank,
and your
And who, exactly, she said pointedly, poking him with each word until he felt
like nothing more but a glorified pin cushion, who exactly beat me out for my almost-
top rank? Hm? Who?
Shikamaru, he answerednot without rancorbut he knew when he had lost.
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Who else, Sasuke-kun?
Youre so annoying.
I thought so. Now come with me. I found a panda bear I liked three stalls
over.
She dragged him along, her small fingers clinging to his wrist with unsurprising
tenacity. The bow of the yellow sundress she had chosen for the occasion fluttered behind
her like some wayward butterfly. Under the cacophony of the carnival lights and
screaming festivities, he caught the strands of some long-forgotten song and huffed.
Sakura had been humming it for the better part of the last three days, a melody in three-
quarter time.
Stop humming already. Its
Annoying? Why do you think I do it? she said, throwing him a thoroughly
impertinent look. Sasuke felt the corners of his mouth turning up in a reluctant smile.
Youre slightly less insufferable, she continued, when you look at me the way youre
doing right now.
Instantly, the smile vanished.
Look at you like what?
She stopped, turned around to look at him, and he was struck by how small
how brightshe looked against the backdrop of a starless night.
Sometimes, she said, softly, sometimes, you look at me like youve forgotten
yourself. Like Ive made you lose a little of all your silly control. It, um, validates me, if
that makes any sense. Id love it if you could trust me enough to fall just a bit, but I
guess theres time for all that later, maybe, if youll allow it, she finished, looking
almost embarrassed by the admission.
Sasuke swallowed the sudden lump in his throat, the strings of her melody
thrumming through his blood. He wondered what to say to thatwhat there was to
saybut Sakura saved him as she usually did, by turning away, tangling her fingers with
his, loose this time, so he could pull away when he wanted to.
He didnt.
***
Sakuras called for you, otouto.
Itachi held the phone up and away, just beyond Sasukes grasp, clearly delighted
by the height difference.
Itachi, you bastard! Give me the damned
Sasuke-kunyour language! Really, now!
With deft hands, Mikoto grabbed the phone away from Itachi, and gave him a
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knock on the head as punishment. Sasuke felt validated for a moment, until she turned
the full-force of her glare on him. Still looking at him, she pressed the speaker button on
the handset.
Sakura-chan, she said, her voice now sweet, and devoid of its maternal
venom. Sasuke-kun cant come to the phone right now, because hes being punished for
being vulgar. Is there anything youd like to say to him? Ive put you on speaker.
Sasuke cursed inwardly at the muffled giggles he heard from the phone.
Oh, no, Uchiha-san. Ill, um, just call back. When would be a better time?
Probably soon, Itachi put in, voice devoid of humor, though the glint in his
eye told Sasuke better. Its never too soon to start planning the wedd
A barely restrained growl of fury was all the older Uchiha got before Sasuke
lunged at him, hands already reaching for his throat. Mikoto stepped away to avoid being
hit by a flailing limb.
Im sorry that my children are such boors, Sakura-chan.
Oh no! Not at all. Sasuke heard in the midst of his impromptu throttling
session, and he could almost picture her waving her hands in protest. Stupid girl, he
thoughtalmost fondlyas Itachi reversed their position and left him face down with
his hands behind his back.
Good evening to you, then.
Good night, Sakura said, and Mikoto clicked the end button.
Ah, their father said, striding into the room with his eyes on the newspaper.
He gave his wife an absent pat on the head, and received a growl in return. Very nice
Itachi. Practicing your police academy techniques?
Itachi coughed.
Of course.
Mikoto rolled her eyes.
***
It had been a bad idea to let her have that last cocktail, Sasuke realized crossly,
feeling her breath skate against the nape of his neck. There were things pressing against
his back, his long-repressed hormones cried gleefully. Girly things! Soft, round, girly
things!
Having her legs around his waistalbeit, not in the precise way that usually
preceded these nights of passion, or so he had heardwasnt helping either.
Sakura, blissfully unaware, mumbled something incoherent, and shifted on his
back.
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Lightweight, Sasuke mumbled under his breath, hoping her father was asleep.
The last thing he needed tonight was an inquisition. He could already feel the beginnings
of a migraine. There was a damp spot forming on the back of his navy-blue button down,
and he grimaced at the clammy feel of it. And, her moving around isnt helping matters,
he thought rather uncharitably.
Luckily, her doorstep was only a few steps away.
He bent down, and gently unraveled her, steadying her when she wobbled,
holding her against him when she started to sway.
Can you stand? he asked, his breath ghosting over the strands of her hair,
trying not to breathe anymore of her in more than he already had. She felt heavy against
him, her hands soft against the exposed skin of his arms. When she looked up, her green
eyes were half-shutdeep green and slumberousand a strap of her white camisole had
fallen halfway down her arm, leaving her shoulder pale and soft and bare. Sasuke felt
himself react to her, prayed that in her state, she wouldnt notice.
Mmm. Is it morning? she asked, tangling her fingers into his hair, smiling up
at him through sleep-drunk eyes.
Its past midnight. Youre at your doorstep, he said, hoarsely. And Im
about to put you to bed.
And will you be here when I wake up, later? she asked, voice low with
promise. Her fingers were weaving patterns through his hair, nonsense words in
languages long dead.
No, he said, and wished he could forget the world, too. No, not yet, I wont
be. And youd hate me if I were.
Would I? she asked softly, pulling him down for a good-morning kiss because
it was past midnight, and he had been too surprisedtoo arousedto be honorable about
it.
It was as sloppy as the word recalled, she would think laterafter the memory
returned and she had stopped screaming incoherent curses into her pillowand awkward,
as kisses went, because she had been drunk, and he
Well, he had been Sasuke. And still was.
(Was that your worst kiss? she asked him later, after the after, after the fairy-
tale, still upset that it had been their first and she couldnt quite remember.
No, he replied, because he knew better, and she had been the only one he had
ever kissed anywayTraumatic Fourth Grade Incident with Naruto, notwithstanding
and simply because love had taught him the value of small untruths.)
***
Inevitably, the morning came, gently insistent, and falling on her bedroom floor.
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She woke up to an aching head, and a knowing twinkle in her mothers eyes,
and fielded her fathers questions about his precious Sakura-chan, and was it that Uchiha
boydid he hurt you? Because Daddy can take care of it, and theyd never find the
body! After a few bites of cereal, she stepped outside, calling for a respite. She took a
familiar path, pushing out of the white picket fence that ran around the backyard, and
brushing aside low-swept trees, lush with greenery.
The air is cleaner here, she thought, contentedly. The smell of dirt and earth
surrounded her, and at her feet, she felt a terrain shift as soil became sand, and stone. She
laughedshe was still in her dress from the evening before, and her heels werent
exactly made for walking down dirt paths. She bent, balancing herself against a nearby
tree-trunk and slipped them off, wiggling her toes into the dirt with childlike abandon.
That taken care of, she continued on her winding path, enjoying the quiet symphony.
She was unsurprised to find him there, hands folded behind his head, looking up
at the beginning. He had changed, or at least, she thought he had. His shirt was a lighter
blue today, and he was wearing white shorts, and the ever-present blue sandals. She
clucked her tongue, deciding she would get him a different shade for his birthday next
week. It wouldnt do for him to be so monochrome.
Perhaps a deep greenlike leaves, or if he was so insistent on a hint of blue,
perhaps something like the color of water.
The sky was still pink with morning, and rosy-fingers brushed soft strands of
hair from his face, revealing milk-skin and dark eyes. He didnt stir at her approach, but
she knew he was awake; and she slipped down next to him, and curled into his side,
throwing her legs over to tangle with his. She traced the line of his jaw with her
fingertips, smiling at the way his muscles tensed at the feather-light touch.
Stop that, he said, voice gravel-rough, and sleep-deepened.
Does it tickle, Sasuke-kun? she said in reply, teasing him.
Hn, he grunted, grabbing her wrists in a firm grip. He opened his eyes, and
turned to look at her.
Your shirt is dirty, she said, solemn, and he knew she was just two moments
shy of laughing. And your shorts probably are, too. Shouldnt you be running home to
have your mother wash them?
In response, he turned over suddenly, moving quickly so that she was lying
underneath him, and he had her hands held high above her head. She was startlingly
vulnerable, and yet, decidedly unafraid. He could hurt her, he thought, suddenly vicious,
and his grip tightened around her wrists.
Sasuke looked at her, pink hair splayed across the damp sand beneath them, her
green eyes shining with something he was still hesitant to name, her mouth delicately
curved in a small smile.
Sakura was light, like air, like breath, like whispers at dawnshe was this
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moment, and every moment, hopeful and indomitable, imbued with the scent of water.
And maybe, and maybe, he
No. He couldnt say itnot yet. Not now.
Instead, he bowed, nuzzling under her chinsuddenly shyand rested his head
against the hollow of her throat. He whispered to her in silence, his lifes breath moving
over her skin with quiet clarity. They were coming together, almost seamlessly, but the
thread was still frayed, and there was still
There was still growing to be done. There were bridges to cross, things to learn,
and people to meet.
So, they would wait, she thought.
So, we will wait, he whispered.
They were young, yet, and Sakura thought perhaps, that this was the kind of
thing that would only grow better with age. They were still incomplete.
But for now, they had this moment.
Good morning, sunshine, she said, smiling up at the sky.
Corona andLime
Sasuke likes Sakura because in between bouts of being terribly seriousa pre-
med student, member of the student leadership committee, riding a full scholarship with
perfect gradesshe is anything but.
He likes this because it is ever-new, and it is familiar, and no matter how much
she has changed over the years (and no matter how grateful he is for this), there is some
little perfect part of her that will forever be a child. And he likes that. Really.
Except when it annoys him.
Today, she is wearing an oversized tie-dye shirt, and she is smiling as he surveys
her in absolute incredulity. The outfit is not the concern; he has grown used to her ever-
shifting wardrobe, composed of comfort in all forms. No, what draws his skepticism is
her wild query.
Whats a good pickup line, Sasuke? He doesnt respond, and she waves her
phone in front of his face. Ino needs to know. A swift glance down at a tiny screen and
tinier words. Apparently, this guy looks like you. So? What pickup line will work? On
you?
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No line, Sasuke says, to this silly girl who should no longer be a girl, and who
should know that pickups lines are ridiculous, anyway. In case she doesnt: Pickup lines
are ridiculous. Were much too old for such Sakura eyes him expectantly, eyebrows
are raised and waiting. His mouth twists into a scowl. For such idiocy.
Looking at Sakuras expression, he knows his lecture has fallen on deaf ears.
There is a sudden excitement in her, in the stretch of her grin and the too-eager bob of her
nod, though her tone is ever so mockingly serious as she says, Oh, of course.
Instinctively reacting to the jab in her words, Sasuke defends himself, All
pickup lines are stupid. They never work.
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Sakura shakes her head, the action condescending and playful, and types out a
quick reply to Ino. Then, she looks up at Sasuke. If they dont work, you havent heard
the right lines. She pauses.
So, Sasuke, what do you do for a living? Apart from being sexy, of course.
Sasuke is annoyed.
***
And just like that, the game begins.
She pops up, in familiar places but with an unfamiliar goal, all smiles and
smothered laughter, with some inane, often scandalous, phrase to deliver. Sasuke is sure
Sakura is trying to drive him insane. He is also sure that it might be working.
The fourth line she delivers in the student union, as they eat their weekly lunch.
Sakura is sick as a dog, germy as a daycare center, and Sasuke is simply trying to make
sure that her ill hands keep away from his food. She is wearing massive sunglasses,
despite being indoors (I look like the love child of a drunk and someone allergic to
air.), and is breathing in such a way that makes Sasukes appetite disappear.
Can you try to breathe normally?
One second, she is looking at him with her lips (the only part of her face visible
beneath those oversized sunglasses) twisting in annoyance and the next she is sneezing,
the sound and motion huge, shocking. With one hand, Sakura grabs the napkin Sasuke
offers, the other moving to push the glasses that had been dislodged from her face back
up her nose. Blech, she says, and mops up the snot. Being sick sucks.
She puts the napkin on the table and Sasuke winces.
Sakura, thats disgusting.
Sakura rolls her eyes and digs through her bag for a tissue, now that the situation
doesnt call for immediate action. Youre such a girl, I swear. I just sneezed. And shoot,
this is the last tissue in the pack. She blows her nose, the sound loud and honking.
Sasuke once again flinches back, shaking his head slightly.
Sounding nasal, Sakura laughs at him and throws her crumpled tissue at him.
Dodging away, Sasuke hisses, Sakura
She just smiles. And smiles wider when he reaches into his own bag and pulls
out a mini-pack of tissue.
As he hands it to her, she squeezes his hand, her smile soft.
You know Sasuke, if you were a booger, Id pick you first.
***
Hey. I need directions
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Sasuke sighs down at his phone and wonders if it will be worth simply
presenting Sakura with the portable GPS already sitting in his closet a month before
Christmas. Not that it will do him good now, but really, the girl does get lost too
frequently for her own good, and maybe its a little nerve-wracking when she calls and
tells him, Yeah, Im totally lost.
Where to?
While he waits for the phone to chirp, he hopes that shes not wandering around
downtown this late. Again.
She responds.
ur heart
A second later.
huh huh? 8D
Trying to scowl but failing to keep his lips from twitching up, Sasuke sends his
quick No.
<3
***
Hi, says Sakura, her voice muffled by loud music and Inos shrieking. Sasuke
plugs the ear not near his cell phone in hopes of hearing better.
Hey. The music reaches a pulsing crescendo. Where are you? I cant hear
Ino! Shut that thing the hell up! The music stops. Sakuras voice comes back.
Sorry, Sasuke, Im at Inos.
Yeah?
Yeah. I just drove her home. Shes pretty drunk.
Sasuke snorts. Ill bet she is.
He can hear the smile in Sakuras voice. Of course. So, Sasuke Hi.
Though she cannot see, Sasukes eyebrow raises. He is silent.
Did it work? she finally asks, voice tinted in excitement.
Did what work?
My pickup line.
For a single second that only lasts as long as the flare of annoyance, Sasuke
considers hanging up. But he doesnt, settling instead for a long-suffering sigh and a,
Sakura
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Ino said hi would work! Her voice is suddenly distant. You pig! You were
wrong! Apparently, not all guys respond to that! Vaguely, Sasuke hears Inos screeches
of denial. Not at all? Sakuras voice is back in his ear.
Not at all. And then, since Sakura cannot see, Sasuke allows himself a tiny,
exasperated smile.
Pity Well, in that case, I better go, Sasuke. Ino and I have to go eat a gallon
of ice cream. Talk to you later, ok?
Goodbye, Sasuke says.
Bye!
Rolling his eyes, Sasuke shoves his phone back in his pocket and once again
begins to muddle through his macroeconomics homework.
Who was that?
Sasuke looks up, and Itachi is standing in the doorway, arms crossed, still in his
suit.
For a second, Sasuke panics. My girlfriend? No, then his older brother will
demand to meet her right then. My friend? That will lead to more questions, which will
still lead to Itachi demanding to meet her.
Sakura, he says, grateful that his voice is at least steady.
And who might Sakura be, that she feels she can call you this late?
Shit, thinks Sasuke.
Well, we he stutters and he hates himself for it. Were dating, I guess.
You guess, Sasuke?
Were dating.
Ah. Itachi smiles then, and Sasuke is very, very afraid. I didnt know you had
a girlfriend, otouto. I will have to meet her then, wont I?
***
Sakura.
She ignores him. In time to the music being pumped into her ears, her head bobs
and her steps sway. Sasuke rolls his eyes.
Sakura.
Finally, he reaches out, snags the thin, plastic-covered wire, and tugs. As the ear
budstill making a sort of vague, fuzzy soundpulls away from her, Sakura yelps,
Hey! Her hands reach for his, grabbing.
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Sakura. She looks at him, finally, eyebrows slightly drawn in frustration.
What?
My brother wants to meet you.
For a second, the glare remains. Then, slowly, Sakura grins. Really? Her hand
reaches out and squeezes Sasukes. Does he really?
Hesitantly, Sasuke nods and wonders how, exactly, to go about this. Yes
But, Sakura, you should knowItachi is Well
A jerk? Cold? Aloof? She sticks her tongue out. Like you?
Fixing her with a hard, annoyed stare, Sasuke shakes his head. He has
extremely high standards, for himself and for everyone. He wonders if Sakura will
understand. When her smile fades, he knows she has. She stops, suddenly, and turns to
face Sasuke.
Wait a minute! Her mouth has turned down, and one hand has found her hip,
the other pointing at Sasuke. Are you saying that Im not good enough for you?
Sighing, Sasuke grabs her pointing hand and continues to walk towards his car.
Her weight wont budge, so he turns back to her stubborn, glaring face. No, Sakura. I
am not saying that.
She takes a single step.
I just wanted to warn you, before you meet him, because I dont want you to
be offended. Or hurt. Or upset.
Another slow, halting step.
He might like you, though. Youre capable of being polite. Youre smart.
Andand youre pretty enough.
And Sakura is right beside him, hand squeezing his and lips brushing over his
cheek, voice right next to his ear as she says, Oh, Sasuke. Dont you worry with your
pretty little head. Itachi will like me just fine.
***
On Friday, before Itachi leaves for work, Sasuke tells him that Sakura will be
coming over that evening, before she and Sasuke go out for dinner. Itachi nods and
straightens his tie before poking Sasuke in the forehead and says, Im looking forward to
it, otouto.
The whole day, Sasuke frets.
In class, he pays only half-attention. When he returns home, he finds that he has
typed the same sentence twice on an important essay.
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Itachi has rules. Sakuras pink hair will probably break a few. If she wears a
outfit that is either bizarre or revealing (and Sasuke knows with despair that its a very
real possibility), it will cost her. God forbid she opens her mouth and starts spewing her
random nonsense. Because if she does, if she fails to be perfect in anyway, Itachi will be
unhappy, dissatisfied with Sasukes decisions. And that will lead to a serious talk, one
that involves a whole lot of as-your-older-brother-and-guardian-I-only-want-whats-best-
for-yous, and even more in-my-opinions, and finally, a big, fat I-am-unsure-this-person-
is-a-healthy-addition-to-your-life.
Sasuke had defied Itachi once.
He has a stupid, ramen-eating idiot of a best friend to prove it.
It still makes his stomach twitch to think of doing it again.
Finally, Sasuke can take it no longer. When he hears Itachis car pull up, he
slinks upstairs and hopes the shower will calm his ridiculously high-strung nerves.
***
Itachi is waiting for the water to boil for his tea when he hears a faint buzzing.
He turns. On the counter, vibrating on top of the flat table of the surface and
blinking red, is Sasukes cell phone. One long stride later, and Itachi is picking it up,
bringing it to his face and waiting for his eyes to focus on the tiny screen.
One new message. Huh.
Itachi flips the phone open.
There is one new text message. He reads it.
Eyes narrowing in distaste, Itachi looks to see who the idiotic message is from.
Sakura
He glares at the phone and returns to his now-boiling water.
***
Sasuke opens the door before Sakura knocks.
Hi, she says, smile only slightly strained and eyes flicking over his shoulder.
Hi. Sasuke manages a smile back at Sakura, whose hair is neat, whose teeth
are clean, whose clothes are nice and normal.
They turn around, Sasuke grabs Sakuras hand, and Itachi is there.
You must be Sakura. He does not even attempt a smile, and there is a definite
air of superiority in the way his arms cross over his chest. Sakuras smile wavers, and her
eyebrows draw together slightly. But her voice is still bright as she answers.
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Yes! A small hand sticks out, nails bright green, only to be engulfed in
Itachis larger, much less colorful hand. Sasuke sees the tendons jump and knows his
brother is purposely squeezing too tightly. Sakura does not flinch. Itachi! Im glad to
meet you.
How long have you known Sasuke?
Sakuras eyes widen and flicker briefly to Sasuke.
Well, we went to the same high school, but
How long have you been dating?
Um, well, I guess weve been dating for about four months, but weve only
What is your major?
Anger is beginning to cloud over Sakuras surprise now, and there is a more and
more prominent downward-twist in her lips as she speaks, her voice not so smooth and
sweet. A pre-med.
And you want
To be a doctor, yes.
She cut him off, says a far-off voice in Sasukes head. Oh no.
For a second, he wonders if Sakura feels the sudden chill in the room, the
tension so thick that Sasuke literally twitches with the need to go outside. But,
apparently, she does not. Her shoulders have come up, squared to match her upward
thrust chin and defiantly crossed arms. The glare she angles Itachi is only surpassed by
the one he shoots her.
And then, Itachi is smiling, and Sasuke is afraid, and Sakuras eyes are
narrowing.
One last thing.
What?
Would you consider yourself a heavy drinker or merely an alcoholic?
What? asks Sakura, Sasukes voice an incredulous echo.
I read the text message you sent Sasuke. And I must sayI was shocked at the
crudeness. Very unbecoming.
What? This time, only Sasuke speaks, phone already in hand, flipping to his
inbox andand suddenly wanting nothing more than to bang his head against the nearest
available wall.
baby, will you be my corona and lime? cuz i will be your main
squeeze :)
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Damn, he whispers.
Excuse me? Sasuke looks up to Sakura, fists clenching, voice rising with each
word. I didnt send you that text! You had no right to even read it.
Yeah, agrees Sasuke, scowling at Itachi.
I have every right. Itachi steps closer to Sakura, towers over her, and Sasuke
finds himself stepping between the two of them. But then, Sakura is pushing him aside,
pointing at Itachi and saying: Well, you certainly have no right to judge me based on a
message you missed the context of!
Context would not make that idiotic, trashy message seem any less repulsive.
Let me tell you
No, Ill tell you, girl, I do not want Sasuke
Sasuke grabs Sakura around the waist then, because her fist is about to swing
into his brothers face. He pulls back, and she is making an odd hissing, growling noise.
You cant tell Sasuke what to do!
I can. Itachi turns to Sasuke. And I will.
Still enclosed in the loop of his arms, Sakura stiffens. Sasuke lets out a long,
slow sigh. Itachi smiles as his arms fall away.
Sakura, go get in the car. He glares at Itachi. Ill be there in a minute.
And Sakura is smiling, wide and triumphant, leaning up and kissing him on the
cheek with a glare in Itachis direction. As she turns, she speaks over her shoulder.
You know, its funny, because I dont even drink. Ever heard of myelin, Itachi?
That stuff in you brain? Did you know alcohol is toxic to it? She reaches the door and
yanks it open. No? But, hey, youve obviously never heard of a pick-up line either. Go
figure.
With a loud slam, she is gone.
Itachi looks at where she had been only seconds ago, with a strange expression
on his face. Sasuke snarls and stalks over to grab his keys and wallet.
Youre a bastard, he says, stomping to the door. Ill be back later.
Sasuke.
Sasuke turns to face Itachi, scowling as he does, angry at his stupid brother, and
his stupid ego, and the stupid way he now has to go out with a stupid, angry Sakura.
What do you want, Itachi?
The smile on Itachis facecalm, cool, plottingworries Sasuke. What?
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Does Sakura sleep on her stomach? he asks, as though its the most normal
thing in the world. Sasukes jaw slackens.
WhaWhat?
I asked you whether or not Sakura, he gestures towards the door, sleeps on
her stomach.
Voice rising, angry at Itachi for explaining and yet telling him nothing at all,
Sasuke growls, How the hell would I know?
Well, ask her.
Why?
Because after you do, you ask her if you can.
For a heartbeat, Sasuke doesnt know what in the world is going on. Itachi
seems to sense this, because his smile widens and he reiterates, Ask her if you can sleep
on her stomach.
Sasuke comes very, very close to throwing a temper tantrum right there.
Instead, he spins on his heal, stomps through the door, slams it on Itachis
growing laughter, and hopes that Sakura will not question the brilliant red of his face.
Flights of Fancy
The clouds were nice, and fluffy, and cute. And Sakura found that watching
them was quite relaxing; in fact, it was fun, and very pleasing.
But the novelty of cloud watching waned after the first few minutes or so (she
was no Shikamaru). And pretty soon, the clouds just becamewellboring. Looking
for shapes and formations didnt help either, because really, for a not-so-creative girl like
Sakura, all the clouds looked painfully likewellclouds.
So she turned her attention to something more tangible, like in-flight magazines.
Now in-flight magazines, these could provide entertainment for at least an hour.
But they all have this sneaky auraas if they were put there just to force bored people to
read countless ads, like subtle brainwashing instruments. So Sakura always felt a bit
betrayed when she read them. Besides, these magazines only have 20 pages or so
youd be lucky to find one with 50and only half of the pages were interesting, the other
half, not so.
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So when Sakura realized that she was reading articles like How to Floss your
Teeth or Top 10 New Innovations on Teeth Whitening, she knew that the magazine
had outlived its usefulness.
Cursingnot for the first timethat the love of her life disowned his homeland
and chose to live in posh New York, and wishing that the flight from Tokyo to New York
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So when Sakura realized that she was reading articles like How to Floss your
Teeth or Top 10 New Innovations on Teeth Whitening, she knew that the magazine
had outlived its usefulness.
Cursingnot for the first timethat the love of her life disowned his homeland
and chose to live in posh New York, and wishing that the flight from Tokyo to New York
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So when Sakura realized that she was reading articles like How to Floss your
Teeth or Top 10 New Innovations on Teeth Whitening, she knew that the magazine
had outlived its usefulness.
Cursingnot for the first timethat the love of her life disowned his homeland
and chose to live in posh New York, and wishing that the flight from Tokyo to New York
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would last for just an hour instead of thirteen, she turned her attention to something else,
or rather, someone else.
Hey, she said, in the friendliest voice she could muster.
The male25-ish, with long black hair tied in a low ponytail; he was
excessively pretty in a masculine-but-almost-feminine waylooked at her with an
annoyed expression for a moment before his features smoothed out to one of practiced
disinterest.
Hello, he said politely in a silky deep voice, before he turned his attention
back to reading a thick paperback.
Sakura, not one to be deterred easily, made another attempt to strike up a
conversation.
Sophies World, Ive read that book. Its wonderful.
The man merely gave a small nod of acknowledgement and went back to
ignoring her.
Turns out, she continued, nodding sagely, that theySophie and Alberto
were just characters in a book that the Major was writing as a birthday gift for his
daughter, Hilde, which explains the postcards, really, and
The man, who seemed engrossed in the book just a few minutes earlier, now
looked at her with an expression of disbelief that might have looked comical, had Sakura
not been so mortified at her slip.
I-Im sorry. She blushed, deeply embarrassed.
The man kept on staring/glaring at her,
Im just so bored, and I forgot to bring a book, see, and
So you thought it would be fun to ruin someone elses reading experience?
Yes-No-No, of course not. I was just trying to strike up a conversation, thats
all.
He looked as if he was contemplating either murder or a request to move to
another seat. And after a few long seconds of terse silence, he closed the book, put it on
his lap, and said, So speak.
Sakura, who didnt know what to make of this new development, could only
acquiesce.
Um, hi, Im Sakura. Whats your name? Lamebut it was all she could do
under such pressure.
You may call me, the man seemed to think for a while, then finally said,
seatmate.
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Well, uh, seatmate, why are you going to go to the United States?
I plan to visit my brother, you?
I plan to visit someone too, she began, slightly more comfortable now that the
conversation had taken off. Hes my She stopped, fumbling at the next word.
Friend.
Really? the man asked, one finely shaped brow raised. Sounds to me like you
dont want him to be.
Sakura looked at the stranger for a while before deciding to throw caution to the
wind.
Well, I probably wont ever see you again for the rest of my life, seatmate, and
Ive already embarrassed myself in front of youand spoiled your book in the process
so I guess it wouldnt do any harm. She smiled. I dontjust want him to be a friend,
that is. I want him to be something more, but it seems like thats never going to happen.
Does he know about your feelings?
Yes and no. I told him once, when we were thirteen. And I meant it, truly I
did. But I dont know if he took it seriously. Anyway, he left and I didnt see him again
for five years. It wasnt easy, especially since he never even tried to contact me or any of
our friends. But we met just a few years ago and patched things up. Were friends now, I
think. But the subject of that confession was never brought up.
Your story sounds so clich.
Hey, I resent that. Besides, its not quite as typical as you may believe. You
see, we will probably end up married someday. Only, its just going to be one of
convenience rather than true love. There wont be any of that going-down-on-one-knee-
and-presenting-a-diamond-ring business.
She sighed.
Hes going to marry me because he doesnt know any other girl.
Why, is he ugly?
No, goodness no. Quite the opposite, really.
Then, is he gay?
MmIve wondered about that. But, no. Asexual, maybe, but definitely not
gay. I have it on good authority.
Then why do you think hell marry you if he doesnt love you?
Sakura winced at the mans bluntness, but decided to plow on, He does love
me, justnot in that way. A mutual friend of ours told me that Sas-Bob, Bob considers
me as one of his precious people, which is probably the closest Ill get to an
acknowledgment.
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Dont you think hell marry someone else, someone he loves in a romantic
way?
You know, she said after a few seconds of thinking, I waited in trepidation
during my whole teenage life for him to fall in love with another woman. I kept on
thinking that it was just me whom he couldnt fall in love with. He was extremely
focused on his goals, you see, and I couldnt distract him no matter how hard I tried. And
one dayit was inevitablehe just upped and left our town. Next thing I knew, he
transferred to a different school and hes hanging out with a new posse, along with this
red-haired girl. I was practically shaking in my boots. I thought he was in love with the
traer-girl. But it was a fluke. Turns out, it was all part of his stupid master planthe
success of which is still debatable. Sas-Bobs stupid like that, which is odd because he
practically has a genius-level IQ. EQs shit though.
So why do you think hell get married at all?
Because its all part of his goal, he said so himself.
His goal?
Yes, finding a willing uterus and breeding like a bunny.
And youll allow yourself to be used like that?
Sakura shrugged.
I love him, she said simply.
You shouldnt, he said.
Sakura averted her eyes and looked outside the window, staring at the clouds
once more. Both sat in an awkward silence, neither of them knowing what to say. Then
Sakura, getting bored again, quipped, So, how about you? Ive told you all about my
love life, but you havent shared a single word about yours.
It was his turn to shrug. Its nonexistent.
Why? You seem like quite a catch, girls should be flocking to you.
They do, he said, but without a trace of pride. However, Im too busy with
work.
Ah. Married to the desk, eh?
You can say that.
You were reading Sophies Worldsorry about that, by the waydoes that
mean youre into philosophy?
The man nodded.
Who do you think got it right?
Nietzsche.
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Are you kidding? That guys harsh!
No. Im not. You see enough of life and youll see the point in what he says.
I do see enough of life. I work at a hospital. Depressing place, if you ask me.
She twirled a lock of pink hair on her finger, thinking deep. But I dont believe in
Nietzsche. I liked Kants philosophy a lot more. Universal Law and all that.
Youre nave, I think
Twelve hours latertwo of which were spent on philosophy, three on medicine,
one on plastic spoons, three on books, one on her deepest, darkest secrets, one on
embarrassingly-placed birthmarks, and one on spark plugsthey arrived at their
destination.
Well, seatmate, I suppose this is goodbye, said Sakura, glancing at the airport
terminal through her window.
Yes, I suppose it is.
It was fun talking to you, but you know way too many of my secretmore than
anyone else, in factand Id much rather not see you ever again. No offense.
The man nodded, turning his focus to his bag, and Sakura did the same.
Thirty minutes later, Sakura was on a bus feeling just a little bit dizzy, when the
very same man got on.
Sakura smiled in recognition and waved at him, indicating the empty seat beside
her. He, too, smiled and walked over to her.
Well, seatmate, she began, apparently, its not yet time for us to part. So
lets pick up where we left off. Now what was I saying? Oh yeah, spark plugs
Another hour of spark plugs later, Sakura had arrived at her stop.
Heres my stop. Bye seatmate. It was really nice talking to you.
Excited to see her friend/love, she turned and walked to the bus door.
Her suitcase was heavy and she heaved it along with great difficulty. So it
surprised her immensely when the weight was eased quite abruptly. Confused, she
looked at her suitcase only to see someone elses hand on the handle bars. She glanced
up to see her seatmate sporting an amused expression.
Oh, hmm, thanks for helping me, seatmate, she said when she got off the bus.
But shouldnt you be getting back now? The bus might leave without you.
She took her suitcase back and said her goodbyes, but he didnt return them.
Look, you dont seem like the psycho-type at all, so may I just ask why youre
following me around?
Im not.
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Sakura left it at that and looked at the paper which held Sasukes address and
then looked around at the signs on the surrounding houses. Number 4this was it.
She walked up to the porch.
Hey, seatmate, dont think I dont know what youre doing, she said,
narrowing her eyes. As soon as youve satisfied your curiosity about the guy I was
talking about, can you please, please, just leave already?
When he did nothing but smile at her in an annoyingly patronizing way, she
asked.
Is it money you want? If it is, then Ill have you know that Im not intimidated
easily. I am immune to extortion.
Saying that, Sakura reached up and rang the doorbell. Sakura glared at her
seatmate for good measure and faced the door, putting on her best smile. It didnt take
long before the door was thrown open.
Sakura, greeted Sasuke with a small nod in her direction.
Then, noticing her companion, his eyes narrowed into slits and he said,
Brother?
She wasthere was no other word for itmortified. She wished that a meteor
would just fall right then and there and crush her to bits or the earth would fall out of its
axis and hurtle towards the sun.
She was speechless. She was frozen.
Little brother, Sasuke. I didnt know that you and my fiance were acquainted.
What a pleasant surprise.
Numbly, she felt an arm snake around her back and rest upon her shoulders.
Fiance? Sakura, Itachi, you
Well, Sasuke, are you just going to stand there or are you going to let us in?
Wha-of, of course, brother, forgive my manners, said Sasuke, stepping back.
Please come in.
Sakura, who was just recovering from the shock and was spiraling head first into
another one, felt a tug and, having nothing else to do, mutely followed Itachi inside the
house.
Her brain was just barely registering the word fiance when Itachi leaned
down to whisper in her ear, Play along or Ill spill your secrets. Consider this as my
revenge for Sophies World.
Powerless, Sakura thought grimly that her life was over.
***
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So, Sasuke began, with an air of an interrogator who could turn torturer at any
minute, how exactly did you two meet?
He directed the question at Sakura, but it was Itachi who answered.
We met at a medical conference. I found her infinitely charming, so I asked
her out, said Itachi, lying with the fluidity of oil.
Sakura was no stranger to lyingbut that didnt mean that she could do it
convincingly, especially to Sasuke, so she kept her head bowed down.
My sweet dumpling here, he said, putting his arm around Sakura again,
turned out to be such a great conversationalist that we immediately hit it off. Did you
know, Sasuke, that Sakura here is a wiz in Philosophy and in car fixes? No, I suppose
you didnt. And we have the same taste in literature, imagine that! Anyway, we were
enjoying ourselves so much thatwell, Sasuke, lets just say that I wasted no time in
founding out about that delectable mole on her
Itachi! She screamed, turning beet red. Sasuke, on the opposite side of the
table, was making a very good impression of a prune dipped in acid.
Itachi chuckled, and looked as if he was about to say something else, when his
phone rang.
Please excuse me; I have to take this call.
And all of a sudden, Sasuke and Sakura were alone in the dining room. The
tension was so thick that it was almost suffocating. Sakura wished that Sasuke would
speak, say something, anything.
But when her plea was granted, she couldnt help but wish that he kept silent
instead.
You never stop, do you, Sakura?
Sakura opened her mouth to speak but Sasuke wouldnt let her.
What are you after? What do you want? Just say it. Are you trying to get to
me through my brother? What? Is this some kind of sick revenge for what I put you
through?
Whatno! Sasuke, I didnt even know he was your brother!
Tch! Do you take me for a fool?
Its true, I
Youd think his surname wasnt a damn giveaway!
I
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Sakura, reminded of Itachis little farce, found that she really couldnt say
anything. So she closed her mouth, pressed her lips together tightly, and looked straight
at Sasuke, who stared right back, unblinking.
It seemed like their little contest would never end. Then, thanking God for small
mercies, Sakura heard Itachi enter the door.
Little brother, I have some urgent business to attend to. I trust that youll take
care of Sakura for me while Im gone. Ill be back by 6. Then, turning to Sakura, he
said, Bye my sweet dumpling.
Okayso maybe it wasnt a small mercy after all. Cursing her fate, Sakura
wondered if Sasuke would pick up where he left off and continue berating her. She was
already close to tears as it was. She didnt think she could take much more.
If you dont mind, Sasuke, Ill go up to my room.
Turning abruptly, she ran out of the dining room and into the guest room,
locking herself in.
***
That night, Sakura was already getting ready for sleep when she heard a knock
on her door. Her head was swimming with thoughts about Sasuke and how his words cut
deep. She also played her conversation with Itachi on the plane in her head over and over
againlike a track on replay.
Warily, she walked over and opened it a crack.
Sorry, Im late. Open up?
After a moments hesitation, Sakura opened the door completely and said,
Were not sleeping in the same room.
Of course notnot until the honeymoon, sweet dumphey, have you been
crying?
No. She sighed. Yes. Your brothers a jerk.
Want to talk about it?
Not really, no.
Ice cream, then?
Sakuras face lit up as she saw the package that Itachi was holding up.
You, seatmate, are a god-send. Come on in.
They went to the balcony and sat on the elaborate rattan chairs. Sakura,
commandeering the ice cream, ate a spoonful and looked up at the stars.
Itachi, what you said before, on the plane
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Hmm?
You said I shouldnt love him. Why?
That was before I knew you were talking about my brother.
Oh.
So now, youre saying that I should?
Itachi shrugged, then said, Up to you.
Sakura sighed, hugging her knees closer to her to ward off the chilly night air.
She marveled at how comfortable silence could be with Itachi, a stark contrast to how
stifling it was with Sasuke. The two brothers were so different. Itachi was like ashe
couldnt find any other word for ita ribbon. He was relaxed, and elegant, and always
pleasant; while Sasuke, Sasuke was like a coiled spring that was waiting to snap.
Itachi?
Hmm?
Was he always like that, I mean, was he always so
Mean?
Sakura nodded, and shifted in her seat to get a better view of Itachi while he
spoke.
He was a sweet kid back then, Itachi began, talking in that whimsical but sad
tone that people use when they reminisce about lost childhoods. He was very talkative,
and a bit annoying, but in an adorable way. He was always eager to please, especially
when it came to father.
Itachi chuckled, sounding as if his thoughts were far away.
He changed, though, when our parents died. Our uncle betrayed our father and
took over the company. Father was beset with grief. Mother tried to help him but
Itachi sighed, he looked wearier than she had ever seen him. She was uncles sister, and
father resented her. Eventually their marriage started failing. She went out one night,
after a particularly nasty fight, it wasshe got into an accident. Fathers condition
worsened after that and he just stopped eating, and he lashed out at Sasuke far too often.
I suspect it was because he looked a lot like our mother. But, eventually, fathers health
started failing too. I was in college when it all happened, here in America. Sasuke was
the only one at home. He was the one who found father dead in his bed one morning. He
justhe just sort of closed up after that, and I havent seen his playful side ever since.
He paused for a while, looking contemplatively up at the stars, before he
glanced back at Sakura and continued.
Next thing I know, hes head of the company again, and our uncles in prison.
I dont really know how he did it, especially since he was barely out of his teenage years
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back then. Its an amazing achievement. But he managed. He sacrificed a lot, though.
When we saw each other again, I almost couldnt recognize him. He was embittered,
wouldnt laugh, wouldnt joke, wouldnt play, possessed such a sharp tongue, and he was
always so grave, like the world was sitting on his shouldersI still wish I couldve done
more to shield him from that.
Itachi took the ice cream from Sakura then, and smiled, a charming, beguiling
smile.
Well, sweet dumpling, time for me to go. You better get some beauty sleep.
Im taking you dancing tomorrow. Charity ball.
Then, just as he was about to leave, Itachi turned to Sakura and spoke.
Sakura, dont take my little brothers hateful words seriously. Hes rash and
lets his mouth run off when hes confused. He often says things out of anger, though he
doesnt mean them. Hes not quite as refined as his big brother.
Sakura giggled and waited for Itachi to leave her room before leaning back on
her chair and looking back at the stars, smiling contentedly. She may not have believed
him completely about how Sasuke didnt mean what he said but she was happy with his
concern.
Then, realizing that her hands were empty, she muttered a small expletive.
Itachi took the ice cream with him.
***
Sasuke usually didnt leave his house in the evenings, but the new developments
had made his house feel stifling, and he felt a big urge to get some fresh air.
He went to the garden and sat underneath the shadow of a large tree, shielding
himself from the sickly light of the lamppost. He rested his hands on his knees and
closed his eyes, trying to enter a more tranquil state through meditation.
Just when he was about to manage, though, he heard the sound of a door
opening. On impulse, he looked up and followed the sound.
Immediately, he regretted it.
Sakura was accompanied by his brother on the balcony and they both sat down
on the chairs, looking completely at ease with each other.
Sasuke tried to look away, to give them their privacy, but he simply couldnt.
They were conversing about something but the wind blew in the other direction
and it didnt carry their words to him. Still, it didnt matter; Sasuke told himself that he
didnt care, not in the least. He told himself that Sakura and Itachi were both grownups,
and he didnt have the right to stop them from doing anything.
But Sasuke never did believe in himself.
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When he saw them sharing a spoon, he couldnt keep himself from cringing.
He told himself that he was disgusted with how unsanitary the swapping of
saliva through shared utensils was. Again, he failed to make himself believe. But at least
the lies made things easier to bear.
Then, he heard her giggle, her voice sounding like bells in the cold night air, and
for the life of him, he could not think of a single lie to tell himself.
***
Just when Sakura was starting to think that Itachi was her friend, he did
something extremely traitorous.
There she was, wearing an elegant black dress, all dolled-up for an evening of
dancinglooking forward to it, tooand all the weasel could say was, Sorry, dumpling,
something important turned up. Ill leave you with Sasuke for now, okay? Hell be your
escort.
Then, to an irate Sasuke, he said, Dont try anything funny. Hands on her
waist, no going any lower.
And then, before he left, Itachi even had the nerve to steal her first forehead
kiss! She was hoping that Sasuke would be her first forehead kiss, but nooo
Well, are you ready?
Jolted out of her internal ranting by Sasukes gruff voice, Sakura blushed and
took the hand that he offered her.
Throughout the ride to the dance hall, neither of them said anything to each
other, both lost in their own thoughts.
Sasuke, on his part, was trying to resist the urge to glance at Sakura.
Sakura, on the other hand, was mustering the courage to talk to Sasuke.
A few more minutes were spent in silence. Then
Sasuke, I
Were here. Get ready.
Sakura, dismayed at the fact that Sasuke obviously didnt want to talk, ironed
the non-existent wrinkles out of her dress and sighed.
Later, when they were in the ballroom, their hands intertwined as they danced a
slow waltz to the tune of Tony Bennetts The Way you Look Tonight, Sasuke inhaled
her scent, breathing in the memory of this one perfect night they had. He felt safe at the
thought that his true emotions were adequately shielded by a sense of duty; that he could
convince himself that he was dancing with her because he had to, and not because he
wanted to. It would be one of those moments that he would keep in his mind forever,
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immortalized in bittersweet sepia, filed away for the darker days when nothing in the
world seemed right.
Sakurashe felt right in his arms, and Sasuke thought grimly that, after she and
Itachi got married, never would she feel right for him ever again.
A sense of betrayal had bubbled up in his throat and when the song ended, he
had worked himself up into a bad mood. An ache had settled in him, not just in his heart,
but in his head, and in his stomacheverywhere.
It was a pain that came from deep inside, deeper than flesh and muscles and
blood.
Then, unable to take a moment more in Sakuras presence, Sasuke stalked away
and left her in the middle of the ballroom floor, looking lost but resplendent amidst the
sea of dancing couples.
He would never, not in his life, find out that he left her in tears that day.
***
As if Sakura wasnt miserable enough, Naruto arrived the following day.
Normally, she wouldve been overjoyed to see the blond but upon seeing the
said boys expression when he learned of Sakura and Itachis engagement, Sakura
merely wished that she was somewhere far, far away.
And to make matters worse, she had not seen Sasuke since the dance. She was
still bitter about the fact that he left her there. She surely couldnt take the bus home
wearing that fancy dress of hers. She had to find someone in the hall who knew Itachis
numberit was embarrassing, but what else could she do? Then, she called Itachi and
asked him, in a teary, shaky voice, to come pick her up.
They had some more ice cream after that.
Really, he was a sweet guy and he seemed like a more-than-decent fake fianc,
but it was obvious that Itachi was taking the farce too far.
And when Naruto approached her to talk, she just knew that things had spun
out of control.
Sakura-chan, can we talk?
Yeah, Naruto?
Its about your engagement with Itachi.
Sakura bit her lip and wondered whether or not she should tell Naruto.
You cant do this.
Annoyed that Naruto, who was a can-guy through and through, actually had the
nerve to tell her that she cant do something, Sakura snapped.
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Why not!
BecauseSakura-chan, dont get mad. Just hear me out.
Sakura made an effort to smooth the angry expression out of her face, but it was
difficult.
When Naruto spoke, his voice was low and serious.
Do you do you know why Naruto sighed and closed his eyes. Do you
know why I gave up on you all those years ago?
When Sakura didnt answer, Naruto plowed on.
Its because I saw how much you meant to him. No offense, Sakura-chan,
youre pretty and youre nice and more than a guy can dream of and allbut, Sasuke and
his feelings for you, well I couldnt top that. And I highly doubt that any guy can. You
know that Sasukes messed up. He doesnt show it, but hes as needy as they come. He
does love you and he needs you. His heart may be three sizes too small, but he loves you
with all of it. Youre just too blind to see it.
Theres nothing to see, Naruto. Sasuke obviously doesnt care about me that
way.
You have to admit that hes not taking your engagement to his brother very
well.
Thats because he thinks Im trying to get back at him through his brother.
Sakura could feel herself tearing up again at Sasukes gross miscalculation of
her character. It hurt a lot to know that, after all her efforts at getting him to acknowledge
her, Sasuke still thought badly of her.
Naruto merely shook his head and said, He loves you, Sakura-chan.
Is this, she bit out, tears falling in earnest now, how love is supposed to feel
Naruto? Is it supposed to be heavy and painful and agonizing? Do people who love you
constantly walk away and leave you hanging? What am I supposed to do, Naruto? Wait?
Am I supposed to wait for him? Im sick of this! Im sick and tired of being taken for
granted.
Sakura?
And you know, NarutoIwhat?
Sakura, can I ask you one thing? Just one thing.
Sakura eyed her friend warily and said, Go ahead.
Do you love him?
I
Just answer the question Sakura.
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Defeated, she bowed her head and whispered, So much, Naruto I love him so
much.
Thats all I needed to know.
Then, flashing Sakura an enthusiastic thumbs-up and a bright smile, Naruto ran
out of the room and was gone.
***
Oi Itachi.
Yes, Naruto?
Itachi looked up from his desk and eyed Naruto warily.
Do you love Sakura?
Itachi seemed to think for a moment before saying bluntly, No.
Then why the hell are you marrying her? asked Naruto, angry now. You
know that what youre doing is hurting both Sasuke and Sakura, right?
Im not.
What?
Now Naruto was just confused.
Im not marrying her.
What do you mean?
He eyed Itachi suspiciously, but really, Naruto was just bewildered. Things
were far simpler a week ago.
Its a farce.
What?
The engagement is a farce.
What!
Were just pretending.
And Sakura-chans playing along? Impossible! It isnt like her to lie to us
deliberately. Narutos eyes turned to slits, angry. What did you do?
I blackmailed her.
Bastard! Ill end this now, Ill tell
Trust me, Naruto. This is all for the best. Im teaching both of them a lesson.
Then, seeing that the blond was not quite convinced, Itachi sighed.
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You know Id do anything for my brother.
Naruto gave a small nod. He had no choice but to agree to that. Itachi did, and
would, do anything for Sasuke.
Then trust me.
Naruto did. But it wouldnt hurt if he sped up the learning process a bit.
***
When Naruto found Sasuke, the guy was still wearing the tuxedo from the night
before. He looked disheveled, with his clothes wrinkled and his eyes surrounded by dark
rims. It was obvious that Sasuke didnt get any sleep.
Bastard! he called.
Naruto was expecting the usual retort of Stupid, but nothing came. Worried
now, Naruto ran up to Sasuke and gave him a light shove.
Oi Sasuke.
Go away, Naruto.
Sasukes voice was tired, hoarse, but it had a steely and intimidating edge that
made Naruto want to acquiesce. But of course, he was Naruto, and he was a man on a
mission.
Tell me, honestly, that you dont love Sakura-chan and Ill go away.
Sasuke glared at Naruto, but otherwise said nothing.
You should stop the wedding, suggested Naruto, as if stopping a wedding was
something as simple as watching the weather channel.
Whats the point?
Sakura loves you.
Sakura, he spat, saying Sakuras name like it was a curse word, is marrying
my brother.
She wont be happy with Itachi.
Are you kidding, Naruto? Itachi makes her happy. He knows her favorite ice
cream, her hobbies, her moles, herhe knows her, Naruto. Ive seen him do more for
Sakura in these past few days than I have in a lifetime.
Sasuke paused, and Naruto thought that he had never seen Sasuke look this old,
this weary, before. It was as if the boys very soul was taken and ripped apart. Or maybe
he just looked like someone with a nasty hangover. Naruto didnt fail to notice the empty
beer cans littering the floor.
Naruto was about to retort, but Sasuke spoke up.
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I dont deserve her Naruto. I never have, and I never will.
She loves you, Naruto reiterated. But even to himself, his words felt weak.
Sasuke grew quiet after that, and Naruto knew that there was nothing more that
he could glean from their conversation. There was nothing else he could do without
making matters worse.
There was nothing to do now but wait.
He just hoped that Sasuke wouldnt do anything rash, that hed come to his
senses. He also hoped that Itachi knew exactly what he was doing.
***
Life was nice for Sakura and she wouldve enjoyed herself immensely, visiting
museums, art galleries, and going to various formal parties, had she not been nursing a
little heartache.
Itachi was a wonderful companion. He was polite, sweet, and he was a
wonderfully graceful dancerbetter than her, in fact. He also lavished her with
attentionsomething a certain somebody never didand it felt very nice. It was enough
to make her forgive hima littlefor blackmailing her.
But he was not Sasuke, and that left a large hole in Sakuras heart.
Still, Itachi was well acquainted with several important people, and that assured
her that she would always be entertained.
Once, they spent several hours in the mansion of a large Japanese man,
Hoshigaki Kisame, who was extremely interested in marine biology. Sakura mused that
his interests had severely influenced everything in Mr. Hoshigakis life, as he not only
devoted his entire time on fishes, he also looked a bit like them too. She pointed this out
to Itachi and he merely chuckled good-naturedly at her observations and gave her a few
more interesting tidbits about the amiable scientist.
They had lunch with Mr. Hoshigaki and his apprentice, Hozuki Suigetsu, who
was also interested in marine biology, but was more fascinated with ancient swords. He
even offered to show Sakura his collection, particularly his largest sword. Sakura,
unsure whether she had heard an innuendo or not, was saved from replying when Itachi
interjected and told Suigetsu that she was already engaged and was about to become
Uchiha Sakura soon.
Sakura had heard no more suggestive comments after that.
However, she wished he didnt go about spreading their little lie, as she would
have a lot of explaining to do when their engagement turned out to be false. She was
glad, however, that he didnt call her sweet dumpling in front of anyone else but Sasuke.
Still, when they were alone, Sakura didnt neglect to tell Itachi to stop calling her a
future Uchiha because, she said bitterly, though her chances were high before, Sasuke
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was furious at her now and her position in the list of willing uteruses was undoubtedly
lowered a few notches.
Sakura thought that he would acquiesce. But when they were at a dinner party
with some more of his friends, Nagato and Konan, a very nice and affectionately sweet
couple, Itachi once again called her a future Uchiha. She pinched him underneath the
table, but he was relentless, and emphasized his point once again.
Sakura sighed, resigned to her fate and knowing that nothing she did or said
would stop Itachi from doing what he wanted. Itachi wasnt so different from Sasuke in
that aspect.
Sasuke, she thought sadly, was still missing. She had asked Itachi if he had seen
him, but Itachi merely assured her that Sasuke was safe and that she shouldnt worry.
So, Sakura, Itachi told me that youre an apprentice of the lady Tsunade.
Sakura, lost in her own thoughts about the dark-haired broody-boy, didnt notice
that their companion had asked her a question until Itachi cleared his throat loudly and
spoke.
Yes, Zetsu, Sakuras quite talented, in fact
Zetsu, a botanist who, oddly, claimed that he didnt do surnames, seemed
annoyed at Itachi for butting into the conversation and directed another question at
Sakura.
So, youre interested in medicinal herbs like your mentor, yes?
Sakura found Zetsu slightly creepy, as his personality sometimes did a 360
o
at
unguarded moments (Sakura conveniently ignored the fact that they were similar in that
respect), but politeness required her to give an answer.
Yes, in fact, were currently doing some research on the effectiveness of herbal
remedies compared to that of artificial ones when it comes to hypertension. The results
are promising and
In that case, would you like to see my greenhouse? I have an excellent display
of medicinal plants and
Maybe some other time, Zetsu, Sakura and I still have to visit Sasori and
Deidaras art galleries later today and I still have some business to discuss with Hidan
and Kakuzu.
Zetsu sniffed disdainfully and said, Suit yourselves. I dont understand why
people would want to see those horrendous displays. Art is simply not a matter of
consequence, far less useful than botany and
Be that as it may, Zetsu, weve made an appointment and it would be impolite
of us to break it.
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Sakura was disappointed; she truly was interested in medicinal plants. Zetsu
assured her that she was more than welcome to come back (and left her with an odd
comment about holding on to her wallet when they visit Kakuzu) and she promised him
that she would try her best to do so.
When she told Itachi about what she wanted later in the car, he told her that he
found the prospect of discussing Glecoma Heredaceawhich was really just a fancy
name for a weedand other itchy green things with Zetsu utterly boring, as the man
could go on for hours. But still, he promised that he would take her there again if she
really wanted, and that he would throw in a bouquet of Rosa Berberifolia into the deal.
Sakura smiled, impressed at Itachis knowledge of plants, though he feigned
indifference. But she was more impressed with his easy charm, a trait that Sasuke,
handsome as he was, lacked completely.
Really, Sakura thought that she probably wasnt right in the head when she fell
in love with Sasuke, devoid of charm as he was. But she was in love with him,
undeniable so, and it wasnt something she could undo, no matter how much she wished
otherwise.
***
As Sakura was traipsing about the city in fancy dresses and getting acquainted
with fancy people, Sasuke was wearing shabby shirts and getting acquainted with the
wine bottle.
His carefully laid out plans, as he saw them, were in ruins. He was supposed to
be married by next year, had even picked out an engagement ring, but Sakura simply had
to go get engaged with someone else.
And Sasukes list of willing uteruseshe did have one, but contrary to what
anyone might think, it was a fallacy of a list, as it had only one name in it, that of Haruno
Sakuraswas sadly and pathetically outdated.
Now, he simply didnt know what to do. One thing was clear, though, he
wasnt, under any circumstance, going to tell Sakura how he felt.
He may be an ass to her all these yearsNaruto had made him see that the other
day, when he tried to claim otherwisebut no more, Sasuke would no longer hurt her.
She deserved someone better than him, and if that someone was his brother, well, he had
no right to argue.
Taking another swig from the wine bottle, he smiled ruefully and said to nobody
in particular, At least she would still become Uchiha Sakura like I planned, and there
would still be little Uchiha children by her.
But then his heart gave a painful lurch, the bitter irony getting the better of him,
and he left the most important part left unsaid,
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just, not by me.
Before him, on the table, Itachis note lay open. It told him to go to the tailors
tomorrow morning to get fitted.
Sasuke was going to be the best man.
***
Itachi, on the other hand, was worried. Sasuke was taking too long in realizing
what he was supposed to do.
And his little brothers stubbornness impelled Itachi to do something drastic,
thus the little farce with the tailor.
Perhaps he had underestimated Sasukes ability to brood, and to make the worst
decisions, and maybe things really had taken a turn for the worse.
Still, it was too late to back out now. If Sasuke would not do something soon,
Itachi might be forced to take things to the altarSasuke would interfere then, he was
sure of it, but it would just be too messy of an affair. And he would have liked to avoid
it.
***
Sakura was wearing a white wedding dress when Sasuke saw her again.
They were in the fitting room of one of the citys finest tailoring shops. And
Sakura was standing in front of a mirror, gazing at her reflection with a whimsical
expression on her face.
He couldnt describe her. He couldnt even pick out the details of the dress. All
he knew was that she looked beautiful.
And right then, at that moment, there was no helping it. The words came
tumbling out of his mouth.
I hate you.
Startled, Sakura whirled around to face him and looked at him with an
expression of sheer disbelief.
Sasuke!
I hate you, he repeated, with more venom in his voice.
He saw her lip quiver and, encouraged and slightly pleased with the fact that he
was hurting her, he plowed on.
You dontyou dont promise your heart to someone, then turn around and
marry that someones brother.
She was trembling, tears streaming down her cheeks, spoiling the image of the
happy bride. But he was relentless.
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Its just wrong, Sakura. II believed in you. I thought, God, I really thought
that, if everyone in the world deserted me, I could be sure that you wouldnt, that youd
stay by my side. I dont have many people like that, Sakura. You know that. Itachi and
Naruto, but theyre different. I thought you Sasuke seemed to deflate a little,
breathing heavily and deeply, looking as if every inhale and exhale was agony. Then,
gritting his teeth, he let his dream of marriage and children die on his lips.
Suddenly angry, he lashed out.
I hate you. Youre the most
She couldnt take it. Another slur on her character and shed go insane.
So she, too, lashed out.
Youre no saint either, Sasuke! You
Hey, whats going on here?
Itachi, who entered abruptly into the room after hearing all the shouting, went to
Sakuras side and brushed a tear off her cheek gently.
Sweet Dumpling, are you okay?
Sasuke, who had never taken his eyes off of Sakura, sneered and said, his tone
full of spite, Its bad luck for the groom to see his brides wedding dress before the
ceremony.
Sakura, having had enough, shoved Itachis hand away, and said, You know
what? Ive had enough of this.
She turned toward the older of the two Uchihas and said angrily, Itachi, I dont
care anymoreblackmail me all you want, but Im telling the truth.
Then, she faced Sasuke. There wont be a wedding. Itachis not my fianc.
We met on the plane on the way here. And II told him my secrets. I didnt think I
would ever see him again, and I really didnt know that he was your brother. I had no
choice but to play along with his sick game.
Again, she turned back to Itachi and said, Go ahead, spill my secrets. Youve
already messed up my life. I doubt you can make it worse. No, no, wait, you know what,
Ill do it for you.
Sasuke, I love you, always have, never stopped. I wantI wanted to be there
for you, forever. But its a hopeless cause, and I know that now. You obviously have the
worst opinions about me and a relationship simply cant be built on, it hurt to say it but
Sakura was strong, hate.
Then, looking down at her feet, she continued determinedly.
What else? I have a mole on my left butt cheek and I used to stuff my bra when
I was 15. I was jealous of Hinata-chans big breasts and at one point I sported a minor
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crush on Naruto, but only because everyone seemed to have one too, and he suddenly
turned popular. It was only a phase and I quickly grew out of it when I was reminded of
how gross he really is. Oh, and I also stole Shikamarus idea for his science project when
we were in fifth grade. He was too lazy to make it because he knew it took a lot of effort.
So yeah, my science trophy was undeserved.
Sakura took a deep breath and continued.
But thats not all. I didnt play along with Itachis little game simply because
he was blackmailing me. No, I played along because it felt nice. It felt nice to be loved
and cared for and it felt nice to have someone treat me like Im special, to have someone
put his arms around me and give me kisses on the forehead. Simply having someone felt
nice, even if it was all fake.
She was close to tears then, but she took another shuddering breath and plowed
on.
Ive always wanted you, Sasuke, to be the one to give me all of these things.
But apparentlyand you made it so damn clearyou hate me.
After that, she stalked out of the room, tore the veil off her head, and went into
the changing room, locking it behind her.
Sasuke stalked off in the opposite direction.
Neither spared a glance to the other.
***
Sasuke was out on the buildings roof, lookingglaringat the busy streets
below, when Itachi stepped up beside him.
The two of them just stood there in silence, letting the cool wind soothe them
until they became calm. They vowed never again to fight each other, especially when
their last one landed Itachi in the hospital, just an inch away from death.
So this time, there would be no fighting, no matter what the other did.
Still, Sasuke felt betrayed.
What made you do it?
You needed to be taught a lesson.
You tricked me.
Itachi shrugged. Then, It wasnt all fake, you know.
Sasuke looked at his brother then, his expression contemplative, but he didnt
say anything.
I can, Itachi continued, see why you fell in love with her. His tone was
light, almost cajoling, but Sasuke could feel a pervading sadness in his brothers words.
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But before Sasuke could make more observations, Itachi turned away and
headed for the roof entrance.
He left Sasuke with a message, clipped but poignant, in a way that big brothers
do when their little brothers do stupid things.
Get things right, little brother.
***
Meanwhile, Sakura was at the counter, sadly returning the dress she picked out,
a bit embarrassed by the scene they had caused earlier, but was in too much emotional
pain to truly care.
She smiled apologetically at the tailor, asking him to inform anyone who asked
that she was going to go to her best friends house and that they shouldnt worry.
Then, just as she was turning away to leave, a hand shot out from behind her and
deposited a wad of cash into the tailors hands.
Here, a voice said, in a severely clipped tone. Its for the dress. Alter the best
mans tuxedo a bit to make it suited for the groom. Ill send an agent over to coordinate
with you.
SaSasuke, Iwhat are you trying to say?
Sasuke looked at her then, his face contorted into a look of pure and utter
annoyance.
Sakura, do you still have to ask?
Regaining her wits now, Sakura said, Yes! Of course!
For a moment, she pondered if she should still be angry with him, if she should
at least make him suffer first for hurting her. Or at least ask for an apology. But he was
her Sasuke-kun, she knew that this was already hard for him, emotionally constipated as
he was. And she was just so happy that she couldnt, for the life of her, manage to raise
just a teeny bit of resentment.
Youre annoying.
I know I am! Now tell me!
Im saying that I love you and that I want to marry you. Happy now?
He sounded more confident than he felt. Inside, he was trembling, he felt like
his skin was thin as paper. And if she wanted to, she could tear him to pieces right now.
It would be so simple, it would be
Go down on one knee?
No.
Please?
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No.
Well, do you at least have a diamond ring?
No.
Sakura stopped, placing a hand on her chin. For a moment, Sasuke was afraid
that he did the wrong thing by saying no. And for a moment, he contemplated doing
what she asked. His knee was itching to bend, but it was warring with every fiber of his
being, each cell clinging to that stubborn strip of pride that his lineage had bestowed him.
Let me hug you then?
Relief, strong and pure and beautiful, washed over him. And all he could do
was open his arms.
***
The clouds were nice and fluffy, and cute. And Sasuke found that watching
them was quite relaxing; In fact, it was fun, and very pleasing.
But the novelty of cloud watching waned after the first few minutes or so (he
was no Shikamaru). And pretty soon, the clouds just becamewellboring. Looking
for shapes and formations didnt help either, because really, for a not-so-creative guy like
Sasuke, all the clouds looked painfully likewellclouds.
Cursingnot for the first timethat the love of his life lived in the homeland he
disowned, and wishing that the flight from New York to Tokyo lasted for just an hour
instead of thirteen, he turned his attention to something else, or rather, someone else.
Hey
You just have to read the spark plug properly, its not so difficult
Yes, yes I know, the markings on the firing end, yes, but
Exactly, the mark
Hey!
What?
You two, Sasuke ground out, have been talking about spark plugs for the last
two hours. Shut the hell up.
Sakura looked at Sasuke for a minute, then turned back to Itachi.
Remind me again why we brought him along?
I, Sasuke began, putting a heavy emphasis on the pronoun, am going to meet
your parents. There is absolutely no reason for the torture to start early, so please stop
talking about the goddamn spark plugs.
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Sakura turned again to face Sasuke, and on her face was an expression of mock
anger.
Ill ignore that insinuation about meeting my parents being torture, Sasuke.
But if it pleases you, Itachi and I can talk about moles instead of spark plugs.
Inwardly, Sasuke groaned. He could hear Itachi sniggering in the background,
while Sakura proceeded to talk about ill-placed moles.
She annoyed him to no endbut really, he wouldnt have it any other way.
Home
Sakura,
Todays the first day I watched the sunset without you. It was
Sasuke stared at the note in his hands. He didnt know how to tell Sakura how it
felt to be without her. All he knew was that he had no choice but to deal with it; him
being without her was his fault.
He had his priorities, and although she was incredibly important to him, there
were things he had to do.
He hoped she understood that in the long run, it was all for her.
***
Sakura,
I ate escargot for the first time today. I could only imagine the amused
look on your face if you had been sitting next to me.
Sasuke
***
So as you can see, Uchiha-sama, the plan will be very beneficial to your
corporation
Sasuke tuned the man out, fingers interlaced in front of his face. Most people
would assume that the stance meant that he was bored; it actually meant that he was
thinking, contemplating. Judging by the expression on the mans face, the Uchiha
gathered that the man was hoping Sasuke was considering his proposed project.
Unfortunately for the tense employee, the situation was far from the case; he
wasnt even thinking of any business-related stuff.
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Sasuke-kun Sasuke turned away, unable to continue looking at her in the
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face as she stared at him, eyes shining with hurt and unshed tears. Why are you doing
this?
I need to, he told her lowly.
No, you dont! she cried. Her hand was fisted in her shirt. You can let Itachi
handle this
No, he hissed, I cant, Sakura.
He finished packing and grabbed his suitcase as he turned around, still refusing
to look at her in the face. Regardless, that didnt mean he couldnt see her with his
peripheral vision, couldnt see the tears pouring out of those emerald eyes. His chest
tightened, and he firmly closed his eyes.
Sasuke-kun, Sakura whispered, Sasuke-kun, please
Save it, Sakura, Sasuke uttered, and he slammed the door behind him.
Otouto, the meetings over.
Hn, Sasuke grunted, shuffling his papers as he got up. He ignored the
calculating look Itachi was giving him and walked out the door.
Summer in Paris was beautiful, there was no doubt about it, but Sakura wasnt in
Paris.
***
Sakura,
I bought a white sundress today. And I dont care how expensive the
silk isbecause it suits you. So accept it.
Sasuke
It was another morning without Sakura in his arms; he thought he was
developing insomnia because of it.
The dawn crept over the horizon slowly, as Sasuke took a sip of coffee. He
wondered if Sakura was awake right now.
He knew Sakura had as much trouble sleeping as he did; when he worked late,
she would always be awake, albeit drowsily, in bed until he returned.
His empty arms ached to hold her, to feel her small, warm body pressed against
his own, and the rising and falling of her chest as she slumbered on peacefully.
He wondered if his cold departure had given her nightmares. The thought of
Sakura jerking awake in their bed, gasping, fingers grasping for the place where he
should beand reaching nothing, causing her to unravel at the seams and crymade him
ache so deeply he couldnt breathe.
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What was wrong with him? He had gone on business trips before, and had been
fine.
But that had been before he married Sakura.
Before he left his pregnant wife at home, crying over his icey words of goodbye.
***
Sakura,
Im in Rome right nowI remember how much youve always wanted
to go to Italy. When I come home, Ill bring you here.
The look on Sakuras face when she would (not if, because she would definitely
come to Italy with him; he refused to think otherwise) walk along the streets of Torino,
and would taste real gelato became his drive to endure the long days and nights without
her.
She hadnt called him since he left.
***
Sasuke your fathers dying.
Those words had been a blow to his world. His father, who had always been
strong, always sure, and the one person Sasuke believed to be competent enough to solve
anything
No.
Uchiha Mikoto looked like she had the weight of the world on her shoulders.
Her gorgeous face was crumpled with exhaustion, eyes red and puffy. Concern welled up
inside him, his motherthe first woman he lovedalways had the gentlest smile and
kindest eyes. His mother did not deserve this.
Sasuke wrapped an arm around her shoulders and guided her to a seat,
watching her anxiously. She smiled at him, but it lacked the warmth it always had.
Sasuke-chanhe wants to see you. Sasuke nodded.
Youll be okay out here, right? he asked her tersely, and she chuckled
wearily.
Itachis on his way. Ill be fine.
Nodding, Sasuke retracted the arm he had around her and headed into the
private hospital room.
Lying in bed, his father looked pale, as stark as the sheets around him.
Otou-san.
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Sasuke. His father began to sit up, and knowing his dad, Sasuke made no
move to help him. There are things we need to discuss.
As Fugaku began to talk, a furrow formed between Sasukes eyebrows, which
deepened as his father continued to explain.
Sasuke, if you get this deal done, youll receive your full inheritance
immediately. Fugaku looked at him gravely. Youll finally be able to take care of
Sakura as you wish.
Sasuke pressed the unlock button on his keychain, stepping out into the cool
night.
He couldnt tell Sakura the terms of his business trip, and he knew she would
fight him tooth-and-nail over his leaving. She hated these kinds of trips; he hated it more.
But he was doing this so they could live a happy life together. After this, he
could finally invest in that hospital she wanted, and support her in everything she wanted
to do. She could save all the kitties and puppies she always felt bad for, or she could help
save the starving children on the street, or she could find homes for orphans and give
them families.
He would give her everything she wished for.
He would do this for her.
***
Sakura,
New York City is like Tokyo. Youll surely feel right at home here,
even with those damn, rude Americansalthough, youll most probably let it
pass. You shouldnt be so kind, Sakura.
I gave a homeless person money today. Youd be proud.
Sasuke
Forty-two days had passed. Forty-two days without hearing the lilting sound of
her voice, and the way her laughter rang out; forty-two days without seeing her face
pressed into the pillow next to him, or the frustrated look shed have while attempting to
complete a crossword puzzle, or the way she looked in his over-sized shirt while making
breakfast
He wondered if forty-two days were enough to make someone certifiably insane.
There was an empty feeling inside of him, one he recognized all too well. It had
been how he felt before Sakura walked (literally) into his life. Before she had smiled at
him, apologized for bumping into him, gathered the books she had dropped, and left.
Before he had met her again and somehow found himself taking her out for coffee.
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Before he had discovered what it was to fight for someone because once you
found that one person, you could never imagine yourself without them.
Before he had fallen in love with her.
Sasuke buried his head in his hands, the heels of his palms rubbing achingly into
his eyes.
It had been forty-two nights without her, and he hadnt slept for more than four
hours without waking up and reaching out for the woman, who (was supposed to be)
wasnt beside him.
Sasuke had never missed anyone like this in his life.
***
Otouto.
Sasuke looked up from reading a document to glare at Itachi.
Itachi looked right back at him, noting the shadows beneath (and in) Sasukes
eyes, his weary body seemed like it couldnt take any more. Itachi didnt think it could,
and he wasnt the only one. Their mother seemed downright alarmed when Itachi
explained the situation with Sasuke, especially how he was taking it.
He bet Sakura, though, was worse off.
Go home, he said to his younger brother.
Sasuke glared at him, though the elder could see it was half-hearted because of
how tired he was. What the hell are you talking about, Itachi? he snapped. I have a
meeting tomorrow.
Ill do it, Itachi said smoothly, slipping into the seat opposite his younger
brother. Besides, with the way you are now, youd do more harm than good even to
yourself. Youre a wreck without Sakura.
Sasuke stayed silenthe couldnt argue with Itachi on that.
Drive to the airport where our jet is stationed at. The pilot has been told to go
directly to Tokyo. From there, my driver will take you home. Itachis lips quirked
upwards. You can thank me later, foolish otouto. For now, go to your wife.
Sasuke nodded, surging upwards and striding towards the elevators, intent on
packing as quickly as possible.
He was going home.
***
He hadnt slept in thirty-two hours, but that didnt matter as Itachis driver drove
up to a house that he hadnt seen in almost two months.
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For a moment, he felt apprehensive. He didnt know how Sakura would react,
especially after what he said to her when he left. He wouldnt blame her if she was angry
at him.
Suck it up and get in there, Uchiha. he told himself firmly.
Getting the keys from his jacket, he slid it into the lock and turned it
counterclockwise. The house was silent as he walked in, the pitch dark sky slowly
breaking in a lighter shade of blue. She would probably be asleep.
Jetlag made his body ache, but it was overpowered by the hurt the situation
brought. All he wanted to do was curl up beside his wife and sleep, sleep like he hadnt
been able to since he left.
Softly padded footsteps headed towards him, a light flickered, and there she
was.
Sasukes chest tightened. She was dressed in one of his shirts to hide the bump
in her stomach and her hair was slightly longer, but the shadows beneath her eyes
mirrored his own. Regret surged within him, blocking every reason he had for leaving.
It hadnt been worth Sakuras pain.
For a moment, they just drank each other in. Sakura then took a tentative step
forward, and Sasuke wondered if she was afraid of him. His chest tightened at the
thought.
Mother told me everything, she whispered finally, why you left right after
your fathers funeral, and why you had to go on so many business trips.
Sasuke bowed his head, his sharp ears picking up the soft sound of a choked
sob.
Oh, Sasuke-kun, Sakura murmured, and then she was running to him. Out of
instinct, Sasuke caught her as she jumped into his arms and cried on his shoulder. Her
words were muffled by her sobs, but it didnt matter.
None of it did.
Sakura was in his arms, and he was homeand that was what only mattered.
***
You, Sakura grumbled into his shoulder, snuggling deeper into the comforter,
are such a freaking idiot. Do you know that? When I get the energy to move, Im going
to kill you. Seriously.
Hmph, Sasuke muttered, and rolled his eyes. It was hard to think with Sakura
lying next to him, head pillowed on his arm, body so close he could smell the scent of her
shampoo. He leaned down to kiss her, tasting chocolate and mint on his tongue. She
sleepily kissed him back, humming delightedly.
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I really missed you.
Aa. (I missed you too.) He didnt have to say itSakura already knew.
She smiled softly, cuddling closer. Sasuke-kun?
What?
I love you.
She looked up at him, tracing his nose with her finger. He kissed her fingertips
before moving her hand away. Go to sleep, Sakura. You can fight me in the morning.
She smiled and closed her eyes. You can count on that one. Youre gonna have
a lot to atone for, buddy boy.
Sasuke found himself looking forward to it.
He tightened his grip on her waist and leaned forward. Tadaima, he whispered
in her ear. Sakura did not hear him for her eyelids remained together, her chest rising
(and falling) in a steady heartbeat.
Sasuke closed his eyes and slept soundly for the first time in months.
I 'mYours
The three figures hidden in the shadowy corner of the attic gazed on at the
blank pages of the thick, worn-out book that looked ordinary enough, with its simple
brown cover and yellowish sheets.
They knew better, of course.
On their left side, the clock was ticking. Its sound was quiet and steadya direct
contrast to the threes increasing heartbeats, increasing anticipation, as they waited and
waited, breaths held, a seeming hush in the air...
BING. BONG.
Still silence.
They watched on, as the book remained unmoving, open and blank.
As the clock tinged again, striking a sound that interrupted the flow of quietness.
The blank pages glowed.
A moment of nothing, and the words came. They read it, as quick as they could.
Then, they stared at each other and sighed.
Well?
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Well?
WELL?
Two of them winced.
Not so loud, idiot.
HEY! I AM NOT
Peopleback to business, please.
Fine, fine. So...can we do this?
...How can we not?
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WE ARE BORN TO DO THIS! I AM THE FUTURE LEADER OF THIS TOWN
AND I WILL MAKE SUREOW!
Shut up.
Troublesome.
You think shed go for it?
...How can she not?
You know how stubborn she can get.
AND SHES ADORABLE THAT WAOW! Okay, okay...shes adorable that
way! Hah! Im not loud anymore!
Another sigh of weariness. A calm shrug of shoulders.
I guess well need help.
Any ideas?
A pause.
A smirk.
Yes. I have one.
A plan.
Ooh, but I have a better one!
He was ignored, of course.
The clock stopped ringing, and went back to its steady, soothing beat. Footsteps
shuffled, and the three figures went down from the attic, their minds filled with
thoughtswith worriesthough none of it showed on their faces.
Well, none of it showed on two of the three faces.
The book was once again blank, and lying closed on the same corner, to be
forgotten. It was not needed anymore, and it would not be needed for a long time.
Hey! I said I have a plan! Why isnt anyone listening to me?
Nara, could you make the idiot shut up?
Its troublesome, Hyuuga.
What is? Because my awesome, brilliant plan isnt!
...Shut up.
It was now March 28.
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i. Secret
Day One.
Forehead girl! Get your butt out here this instantor else I will get it out for
you!
Haruno Sakura ignored the shrill, banshee-like voice of the female calling her
namerather, her dubbed nickname, ever since her wide-forehead-days back in
kindergartenfrom outside her room, and continued doing her business, critically eyeing
her closet to see what outfit she was going to wear for the night.
Not that there were many to choose from, really.
Save for a few hospital internship uniforms, some shirts, sweaters, jeans, three
pairs of pajamas (which she always wore), a black lingerie (which she never wore), and a
very boring summer skirt that already looked a bit yellowish instead of the white it was
supposed to be, her closet was basically...empty.
Jeez, Forehead. I didnt realize your closet was so boring.
Green eyes widenedand Sakura then jumped, squeaked, and hurriedly covered
herself up with her earlier-forgotten towel. Then, she proceeded to glare at the blonde-
haired, blue-eyed, nearly screaming girl, one hand clutching the towel tightly around her
and the other resting on her hip.
Yamanaka Ino! What the heck do you think youre doing, startling me like
that?
Silence.
Her best friend ignored her, and continued perusing her closet in what looked
like...horror.
Come to think of it, Ino hadnt even bothered looking at her yet. Sakura scowled
at this.
Pig! Im in my damn underwear!
Silence.
The blonde finally straightened, her gaze switching from the closet to Sakura.
Her perusing eyes travelled from Sakuras toes, to her body, up to her face and hair
then to her underwear straps, which were visible above the towel.
She raised an eyebrow delicately at the sight.
You call that underwear?
Sakura raised an eyebrow in response.
What do you call this in your weird world, then?
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I call it trashwhich is why I brought you something else.
With that, the blonde calmly walked back to the bedroom door and behind it,
whipped out a dark red plastic bag that looked shiny and new. Her hand went inside the
bag, taking out something that looked small, flimsy and... racy.
Sakuras eyes narrowed.
No, she bit out.
Inos eyes narrowed back.
Yes, she hissed. She tossed the item abruptly at Sakura, who caught it in
irritation.
I said no, Pig. (not that Ino looked like a pigthe girl was gorgeous)
Well, I said yes, Forehead. You are not supposed to contradict me.
Why not? Sakura asked rudely.
Because its your birthday and you promised youd be nice to me.
A pause.
...No, Ino, Sakura drawled out sweetly.
The blonde merely smirked.
Nice try, Forehead. Now get rid of that hideous-undie-thingy-whatever-it-is-
trashthis, you have to wear.
And with that, Ino whipped out another item from the red bag. Something
smaller, flimsier and...lacy.
Very, very lacy.
When Sakura realized what it was, she paled and shook her head in vehemence.
Oh, no, if you think Im wearing that
Happy birthday, Sakura!
and if you think Im going to give in just because you decided to call me
Sakura and not Forehead girl
I will tell everyone how you moaned your favorite position in your sleep last
weekand where in particular you like to be
I AM NOT GIVING IN!
***
Hyuuga Neji was observing the front entrance of the jazz bar for more than an
hour now. He didnt fidget, nor did he moveits the Hyuuga way, always and forever.
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But he was getting slightly impatient, and that was saying something, considering how
patient he usually was (in his opinion), free of worries or any hassle whatsoever.
It took two females entrance to make him sigh in relief (inwardly, of course), as
he sat (ramrod straight) in his wooden chair, finally taking a small sip of the coffee he
had been quietly nursing since earlier. He looked back at the two females approaching
themthen, his eyes narrowed when he took in what they were wearing.
Or rather, what Sakura was wearing.
Nara, what the hell did your girlfriend do to Haruno?
Silence.
Beside him, Nara Shikamaru was sleeping, one hand gripping his own coffee
cup (which was still full) and the other folded below his head, as a makeshift pillow. It
was the other person with them in the table who reacted.
Quite enthusiastically, in fact.
Heeey! Dont call Sakura-chan thatits rude and impolite and
OHMYGOODNESS SAKURA-CHAN! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WEARING?
Sakura stopped and clearly squirmed. She blushed a bit, not looking at the other
people in the barsome of who were already staring at the little commotion.
Ino gave Uzumaki NarutoSakuras other best frienda warning glance.
Naruto, nave as ever, merely ignored it.
Is it...okay, Naruto? Sakura asked, almost hesitantly.
Ino gave Naruto another warning glance.
It was ignored again.
YOU LOOK LIKE A STRIPPER!
At the remark, Ino glared viciously at the boythen, without further ado, she
smacked him on the head and scowled.
Ow! Ino-chan! She still looks hot!
Idiot! Ino shouted. She does not look like a stripper!
Sakura, in turn, glared at Ino.
I hate you, Pig, Sakura declared.
Ino gave her a confident look. You do not look like a stripper. Dont listen to
himIm the fashion expert around here.
Sakura scoffed, and merely folded her arms. When Neji raised an eyebrow at
this action and politely looked to the right, she gave him a confused stare.
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Skin, Neji supplied bluntly.
Sakura looked down, her eyes widening. She immediately unfolded her arms,
her pink cheeks flushing red now at the amount of cleavage she had been showing.
Ino smirked gleefully.
Naruto scratched his head, his brows scrunched down, as if thinking.
Sakura-chan, dont you like your outfit?
No Sakura started as she caught the sight of Ino, who was still smirking at
her, about to open her mouthher loud, gossip-inducing mouth.
Sakuras mouth snapped shut instantly.
Its fine, she muttered reluctantly. Ino beamed. Naruto frowned.
Neji remained silent againand impatient.
When was the plan going to be set in action?
As if hearing Nejis thoughts, the blond loudmouth finally stopped scrunching
down his eyebrows as if he now understoodor remembered. He snapped his fingers, his
blue eyes brightening. He nodded his head enthusiastically, his frown becoming a wide,
full-fledged, determined grin. Neji thought that this was the best time to announce the so-
called surprise.
Dont worry, Sakura-chan! Ill guard you through the whole process!
Well, okay. Not that way, though.
Sakura stared at Naruto blankly.
...What whole process?
The process of getting you your one true love!
Silence.
Sakura paled again, as she read the words at the edge of the long table the three
guys were surroundingwritten in small but very bold letters, with sparkly red hearts all
over, and an amount just below it.
Below the amount was a sloppy drawing of a pair of red, red lips.
And below the pair of lips were seven words that looked simple, really. But had
the impact ofwell, an explosion.
Birthday Girls Kissing Booth: A Charity Cause.
Oh, hell, no. No. NO
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SAKURA-CHAN! THE PROCEEDS WILL ALL GO
TO YOUR FAVORITE HOSPITAL!
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Ino smirked again. Neji gave out a determined, semi-resigned look. Naruto
beamed brilliantly.
Sakuras mouth was still hanging open.
And Shikamaru kept on sleeping.
***
This was a really stupid idea.
Now that he was awake (courtesy of a very annoyed blonde girlfriend viciously
pulling his spiky, ponytailed hair for even daring to sleep), nearly everyone had arrived at
the small gathering they had planned (which wasnt really plannedit was more like a
come-whoever-has-time-sort-of-event because Sakura wasnt the type to bask in big
parties, unlike Ino), Shikamaru began to wonder why he let himself be called a genius.
Geniuses never let Narutos ideas happen.
Sigh.
But the guy had begged and had badgered him and Neji (and Ino, who was in
some ways, in on the plan as well) until eventually, they had to give inelse they would
end up deaf from all the yelling and thrashing that was ensuing from the said blond,
hyperactive, loudmouthed guy.
It wasnt like they had any other sane choice.
With a resigned grunt, Shikamaru settled himself at the end of the long table,
amidst all the friends (who came and went as they pleased, because the table was really
small, despite it being long) and conversation, and let his gaze linger on the pink-haired
girl sitting in the middle, nudging her chocolate cake slice (courtesy of Hinatasanother
friend of Sakura and cousin of Nejiawesome baking prowess) from left to right, her
green eyes staring at it quite pensively. On her left sat Naruto, talking her ear off, as well
as the person beside himwhich happened to be Hinata, who was positively glowing
(and blushing) at the attention. At Sakuras right sat Ino, chatting her other ear off. He
saw as Sakura nodded once or twice, smiled a bit, shook her head, and took a big bite of
her cake slice.
Then, his gaze switched to Ino when he saw her abruptly stop talking and stared
at someone in front of them. Before he could see who was approaching, Ino was already
standing up, face brightening and a mischievous sparkle coming into her blue eyes.
Kiba! How lovely to see you here!
Shikamaru raised a brow at this. So did Inuzuka Kiba, an acquaintance of theirs,
who had stopped in front of their table with Akamaru, his pet dog, in tow.
Since when have you ever called me Kiba? You always call me Dog-boy.
Ino beamed. Well, since its Sakuras birthday and all, I just decided to be nice!
Are you here to greet Sakura? Would you like some cake?
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Yeah, Im here to greet Sakura. Happy birthday, Sakur
Thats great, thats great! Ino interrupted. Youre done greeting. Now kiss
her!
At this, Sakura choked, nearly spitting the cake out of her mouth. Ino patted her
back, and without further ado, began pulling her up until she was standing, too.
Kiba was looking at the sign with growing interest.
He then grinned, almost cockily.
Free kiss, eh? Sure.
Sakura glared.
Its not free, she spat out indignantly. Its for a charity cause.
But I dont have any money.
Naruto, who had stopped talking to Hinata, stood up as well, and growled
protectively, THEN YOU CANT KISS HER, DOG-BOY!
Im a great kisser! Kiba protested. Ill show her a good time
Naruto raised a fist in the air. NO MONEY, NO KISS!
Shikamaru sighed. Beside him, Neji tried not to glare at their friends daftness.
Because Naruto looked like he was gonna explode any second now, Kiba
reluctantly (and surprisingly) backed off, holding his hands in the air.
Fine, fineit is Sakuras birthday, so I wont argue.
Sakura smiled. Thanks, Kiba.
He grinned. No problem.
But someone else had a problem with it, apparently.
Before Kiba could turn around and head for the bartender, Ino yanked him back.
No. You are going to kiss her, she threatened.
Naruto whined, But Ino-chan! Money
Ino glared. can be compensated. Kiba! she snarled. Hospital volunteer.
One week. Deal?
Kiba stared.
Naruto scowled (why he was doing so when this was all his idea, Shikamaru
couldnt figure out).
Sakura glared (at Ino).
Finally, Kiba stopped staring, and grinned again.
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Deal. It will all be worth it, anyway.
Clearly, the guy was flirting already.
Sakura glared at Ino some more, then at Naruto. She then finally turned to Kiba,
moving her face forward.
Fine.
Still grinning cockily, Kiba leaned in, the table between them, cupping the back
of her neck with one hand. His mouth touched hers. Coaxed.
Hers moved, too.
Neji, Naruto, Ino and Shikamaru held their breaths.
And there wasnothing.
Shikamaru sighed inwardly, muttering troublesome as he did so. Ino sighed
loudly, and declared the kiss a waste of time. Neji merely grunted, and went back to his
now-cold coffee.
Naruto yanked Sakura back, breaking the kiss abruptly.
OKAY! NO SPARKS! AWFUL! NOT EVEN A SINGLE CENT YET! THIS
IS A TERRIBLE IDEA!
Naruto, this was your idea, Ino pointed out.
OHOH, YEAH! I MEANT ITS A BRILLIANT IDEA! IM A GENIUS!
EVERYONE! COME KISS SAKURA-CHAN NOW! IM NOT GONNA STOP YOU!
ITS FOR CHARITY! MY BRILLIANT IDEA!
As Sakura looked on in bewilderment, Shikamaru sighed again, two thoughts
crossing his mind.
One: that Naruto was an idiot.
And two: this was going to be a long, long night.
***
One hour later (and a lot of kisses in the process), Ino was just about ready to
give up.
This wasnt working.
It was true she had promised Shikamaru she would cooperateheck, she had
promised she would organize everything, from Sakura coming to Sakura agreeing with
the plan (because really, everything was about Sakura here), to the kissing process, and to
not allowing the birthday girl to freak out (or back out). She was the supervisor
meaning she couldnt even join Hinata when the girl left, and went to the dance floor
after being asked out by a really cute guy.
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After all, the exact same thing happened to her a year ago. She knew what it was
all like.
This whole prophecy.
With a loud, bored sigh, Ino drummed her fingers on the table, and tried not to
scream out in frustration.
After Sakura had gotten Kibas first kiss for the night, it seemed that everyone
wanted to be in on the actionand by everyone, Ino meant everyone, including the dirty
old perverts who thought they could impress and score her best friend. It was probably a
good thing the three guys were there, ready to throw out anyone who dared to cross the
line. With the black, flowing backless mini-dress that Sakura was wearing, it was
absolutely hard to resist herIno had made sure of that. Genma, a resident playboy,
nearly got pummeled (courtesy of Naruto) when he tried to grope Sakuras ass and
breasts when he was kissing her. Lee, a Sakura devotee (who even had a fan club for her,
with him as President and only member) nearly did, too, when Naruto grew tired of him
raving about youth and springtime and constant declarations of love and conquering it all.
On a good note, the money basket that Neji had placed beside the table was now
overflowing (gee-whiz, the hospital charity thing was really working).
On a bad note...none of the kisses still did the so-called job.
Sakura, in the meantime, was now torn between swollen lips (she refused to
involve open mouth and tongue in said kisses, which was loudly seconded and supported
by Naruto) and a rather weary-looking expression on her face.
Beside Ino, Neji leaned slightly forward, and whispered (grunted) in her ear.
This isnt working.
Ino rolled her eyes, and tried not to huff impatiently. Well, what did you
expect? The idiot planned all this.
You seconded itenthusiastically, from what I recall, Neji intonedstill in a
whisper, in case Sakura would happen to hear.
Ino glared. So sue me.
Neji glared back, the way he usually did when he was annoyed.
Ino ignored him, and went back to staring at the line of men still trying to get
Sakuras attention. It nearly surprised her to see Kakashi, their former (perverted)
teacher, standing there, toothough the surprise (along with the suspicion, because
heckthe man was still holding his little orange porn book) vanished when she saw him
peck her politely on the cheek, after adding a rather huge amount on the basket.
A movement on her right caught her attention.
One look at who was approaching them held it.
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Oh, HELL, NO.
Her exclamation caused a few heads to turnincluding Narutos, Shikamarus
and Nejis. And Sakuras.
Sakura glanced at the sight, surprise flickering in her eyes, before looking back
at the table and away from the people who just came inside the bar.
Naruto didnt just glance, though. He stared.
He then yelled.
TEME! YOU ARE LATE! WHY ARE YOU LATE? I TOLD YOU TO
COME ON TIME!
Dobe.
Uchiha Sasuke, resident hottie. The man of all men. Number one bachelor in the
town of Konoha.
And number one playboy.
Ino, like Naruto, stared at the handsome man in annoyance (this wouldve been
admiration at one time, but she was long past that)most particularly at the person he
had latched onto his arm.
Or, to be more precise, the person who was clinging to him like a freaking
jellyfish.
Youre an hour late, Ino said.
It wasnt Sasuke who replied.
Well, of course hes an hour late, his red-haired companionthe resident diva
herself, Karincomplained loudly. Im not about to let him go to this lousy event
without having some distracting...activities first. She smirked at that.
Naruto kept on staring.
Ino began seeing red.
Apparently, your taste in girls still hasnt changed, Sasuke-kun, Ino scoffed.
Karin glared. Ino glared back.
The tension between the two was nearly visible.
Sakura...seriously. You can stop kissing my brother now.
The sentence had the tension breaking, and everyone turning their heads
towards Sakura, who had just leaned away from another one of their acquaintancea
freaky emo-boy named Gaaraa startled expression on her face and a delicate blush
staining her cheeks.
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Er...that was nice, she said nervously, before sitting down again, and looking
anywhere but the people around her. Temari, Gaaras sister, smirked, and it was obvious
she was assuming that Sakura liked her brother.
Which Naruto seconded. Loudly.
SAKURA-CHAN! YOU LIKE GAARA! YOU KISSED HIM FOR MORE
THAN FIVE SECONDS!
Sakuras cheeks flushed all the more. Er, well, no. He gave a big amount of
money, so...right, Gaara?
Gaara merely nodded his head, unemotional as always. Hm.
Naruto looked utterly disappointed.
Sakura simply laughed sweetly (more like crazily, in Inos opinion) and
shrugged. Next kisser, please!
To everyone else, no matter how odd this was, they ignored it and went on to
their business. They didnt know Sakura inside out, after all.
But Ino did. And she knew why Sakura had kissed Gaara like that.
Most especially with the way Sakura was looking at everyone right now
except the very two people who had just came in.
Narrowing her eyes in contemplation, Ino prepared to stand up.
I hope youre not going to cause trouble, Yamanaka, Neji supplied beside her.
Okay, so she was wrongapparently, he knew Sakura that well, too.
Troublesome, Shikamaru muttered from somewhere at the side.
Fine. And so did this one.
Tossing her ponytail over her shoulder, Ino grinned sweetly at them. Dont
worry, I have a plan.
A much better one than Narutos.
She stood up. Smiled sweetly at her target.
Sasuke-kun...why dont you be a good boy and kiss Sakura over here?
Beside her, she felt her best friend tensing up, before settling down and
pretending to ignore the whole conversation. Ino kept on eyeing the onyx-eyed Uchiha.
Its for charity, she said, innocently.
Shikamaru sighed again. Neji grunted again. Naruto stared again.
Sakura frowned.
After a moment, Sasuke nodded.
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Hn.
And Karin freaked out.
***
Naruto was trying to understand what was happening, but it was getting hard,
considering how confusing the situation was becomingand how loud that Karin girl
was shrieking the place down.
I refuse! Hes mine! MINE! NO KISSING SOMEONE ELSE!
To this, Naruto wholeheartedly agreed.
I AGREE! TEME CANT KISS SAKURA-CHAN!
True, the guy was Narutos best friendbut said guy was a certified playboy.
Naruto would never allow someone who chased girls as a hobby be Sakuras one true
love.
No way.
Ino had other ideas, though.
Shut up, both of you. I said its for charity, she snarled. Determinedly, she
yanked Sakura up from her sitting position for the second time, and proceeded to drag her
away from the table, and directly in front of Sasuke. Sakura yelped, and tried to protest.
Karin glared viciously, and clutched Sasukes arm possessively.
Hes mine, she emphasized.
Sasuke grunted in annoyance.
Im not anybodys, Karin, he intoned blankly.
Aha! You see! Ino exclaimed triumphantly.
Nor am I a charity case.
Inos triumphant mood faded abruptly, as Sasuke nodded at Sakura, muttered a
birthday greeting (to which Sakura only nodded back to), and turned to leave.
Naruto nearly sighed out in relief...until Inos expression brightened again, this
time in mischief.
The girl smirked. Oh...I get it now.
A pause.
GET WHAT? Naruto couldnt resist asking.
Inos smirk deepened.
Karins just jealous and insecure. And Sasuke-kun is just scared that he
wouldnt be a good kisser.
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Sasuke stopped in his tracks at that. Beside him, Karin readily defended him.
Hes a good kisser! I am not jealous! Why would I be insecure, when Im the
one he wants?
Prove it, Ino declared. Let him kiss someone else, to let that person judge if
hes a good kisser or not! Sasuke-kun?
Hn.
I bet you arent.
Sakura looked on nervously, and tried to laugh everything off.
Ino-pig, theres really no point in all thisIm sure Karin could attest that hes
a good kisser, its not necessary
Alright.
The word had Sakuras little speech freezing.
Wonderful, Sasuke-kun! Ino chirped.
But Naruto raised a fist in the air.
Hell, no.
YOU WILL NOT KISS SAKURA-CHAN!
He was a playboy. A playboy. He was bound to hurt her if he did that.
Stop protesting, idiot, Ino snapped.
BUT HES A BASTARD!
Its just a kiss
HELL TAKE ADVANTAGE
Its just a kiss
SHES INNOCENT
ITS JUST A KISS FOR THE PLAN! Ino finally shrieked out.
Silence.
...What plan? Sakura asked suspiciously.
Naruto nearly panicked at this.
The charity plan, of course, Ino supplied (lied) smoothly.
Naruto sighed in relief.
After a moment, he finally nodded reluctantly.
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Fine, He grumbled. But teme, money first!
Sasuke handed some money to Shikamaru (an amount that could rival
Kakashis), who was now standing beside the basket. He then stepped out of Karins
grasp (who whined loudly, but couldnt really do a thing), and turned to Sakura.
Sakura stared back at him in silence.
One kiss. Not more than five seconds, Naruto warned. Sasuke nodded.
Then he leaned in, and captured her mouth in his.
Naruto counted in his head, and assured himself that this was nothing. After this,
they could go on with the kissing booth, to find the real person Sakura was meant to be
withthe one person who would stop the curse, and finally free them. After all, it was a
fairy who was supposed to save them, him and Sakura and Neji and Shikamaru, who
were witchesthough Sakura didnt know that yet. It couldnt be Sasuke, of course not.
The man was one hundred percent arrogant human, so of course there wouldnt be a
connection, and of course Sakura wouldnt fall in love with him and get her heart broken
the way it did when she crushed on him all those years ago and
His thoughts halted, when he realized that the kiss had lasted for more than five
seconds now.
When he saw Sakura stumbling closer, and for the first time that night, opened
her mouth, into the kiss.
When he saw Sasuke looking surprised as she pulled him closer, came closer,
and murmured the raven-haired mans name in pleasure.
And when he finally noticed that there was a certain, very distinct glow
surrounding them. Sparks. Brilliant ones.
Needless to say, Narutos eyes bulged.
Holy hell.
Sasuke was a fairy.
...and he was Sakuras one true love.
ii. Sakura
It was like she was melting.
Spontaneously combusting, with the way her insides were churning, the way her
head was roaring, the way her blood was pumping. Her heart felt like it was going to fly
out of her chest, and her skin...it felt like it was on fire, burning hotter and hotter as the
seconds passed by.
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He tasted absolutely delicious.
Unable to get enough of the taste and the subtle, masculine (amazing) scent, she
pulled him closer, dragging her hands on his shoulders, then up his hair. Clutching them.
It was like something was telling her to do itlike someone was taking over, pulling her
to him uncontrollably. She murmured his name once or twice, before she continued
kissing him, kissing himwas he kissing her back?
Yes, he was, her inner voice said. Unless it was her imagination. It couldnt be
her imagination...could it? It couldnt. He was kissing her lips, his tongue coming out, his
hands caressing her back, his body melding with her own
She was suddenly taken away from the bliss, when the body nearly all over her
own was abruptly, rudely yanked away.
You pink-haired freak!
Ignoring the voice, her humming body unconsciously went closer to the source
of heat. To his heat.
This time, it was she who was abruptly yanked away.
O-kay, Forehead girltime for a little talk now.
She knew that voice...who was it again?
Heart still beating madly, Sakura opened her eyes.
And found herself staring straight at a fist heading her way.
She reacted instantly, ducking her head on instinct. The fist managed to graze
the side of her hair, before hitting something behind her.
Thud.
Or someone.
You stupid freak! You just hit my boyfriend! HES UNCONSCIOUS!
Karin snarled.
Well, its this sluts fault for ducking!
At the word, Sakuras head came up again, something dangerous coming into
her eyes.
I am not a slut, she intoned in warning.
She is not a slut! Ino shrieked, banshee-like voice coming to life again. Naruto
covered his ears, while Neji hauled the unconscious Shikamaru up.
Yes, shes a slut! What do you think you were doing to my Sasuke-kun?
I wasnt doing anything, Sakura protested. I was merely letting him kiss me
for the charity
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Which was only supposed to be a peck!
it didnt even last that long
Like hell it didnt, you stupid
and I didnt even like it!
At the last statement, there was silenceboth from Karin and Ino (who had still
been throwing out insults). Naruto hesitantly took his hands away from his ears, his
earnest expression changing to shock instantly.
Sasuke was gazing at her in silence, his expression unreadable, his eyes intense.
Before Sakura could contemplate, she was pulled away by Ino once more.
We need to talk, Ino repeated firmly. You guys come with me. She gave
one last glare at Karin, then a warning glance at Sasuke, before taking hold of Sakuras
arm and steering her away from them. Goodnight, Uchiha and whats-her-name.
The last thing Sakura heard was Karins protesting voice.
And the last she saw was Sasukes gaze still on hers.
***
Youre joking.
What are you talking about, Pig?
Tell me youre joking when you said you didnt like his kiss.
HEY! SO WHAT IF SAKURA-CHAN DIDNT LIKE HIS KISS? HES A
PLAYBOY AND
Shut up, Naruto. This is so you can live, remember?
Live? Pig, what are you talking about?
Just tell her, Yamanaka.
Im getting to it, Hyuuga. Now, Sakura, its as simple as this: you were lying.
You had to be, because the way I saw it, there were sparks surrounding you and the
Uchiha the moment you guys kissed.
Thats an absolute li
Lie to me and I will tell everyone about that position
Fine! I was lying! I enjoyed the kiss!
A pause.
SAKURA-CHAN, WHAT POSITION
Naruto, shut up and pipe down!
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Ino-pig, stop yelling at Naruto. Naruto, stop yelling. It doesnt matter if I
enjoyed the kiss, so what
But it matters.
See? Even Neji agrees. And ah, Shika-kun! Glad youre awake now, my love.
Ill get my revenge on that stupid red-haired girl later, but for now...will you please tell
Sakura that the kiss with Sasuke-kun matters?
This is troublesome.
Shika-kun...
Fine, stop growling. Troublesome girl. It matters.
What are you guys talking about? Why does it matter?
Silence.
Guys?
Because it only means one thing, Forehead girl.
...What?
It means you just found your one true love.
My one true what? Thats ridiculous
One more thing.
What?
Another pause. A longer one this time.
You have only three days before we all croak ourselves into extinction.
***
She would never have believed them, if it hadnt been for Nejis eyes suddenly
going white, Shikamarus spiky hair suddenly turning into a pineapple, and Narutos
whole body suddenly sparkling a bright, bright orange.
Guys, were in an alleyway, if you havent noticed. Cut the magic crap for
now, will you?
Slowly, the sparkling and the shifting and the color-changing vanished.
Slowly, Ino started to explain every little detail and secret.
...Slowly, Sakura started to hyperventilate.
Holy shit.
Yes, I know.
Holy shit.
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Yes, I know.
Holy shi
Okay, okay, Sakura, enough with the word. Do you believe me now?
Whawhat?
What did I tell you? Repeat it, please.
That Im a witch and Sasukes a fairy.
Ino nodded in encouragement.
That these guys are all witches and youre a fairy.
Another nod.
That youre Shikamarus one true love.
Nod.
That Sasukes...my one true love.
Nod.
...That youll all turn into frogs if I cant make him mine. Through mating.
Nod.
In three days.
Nod.
...How do I believe this is all true?
POOF!
Almost as if on cue, a puff of smoke surrounded one of them and replaced the
body with a smaller, greener...slimier one.
Ribbit!
RIBBIT!
My boyfriend! My boyfriend is a frog! Forehead girl, do something!
...
HOLY SHIT.
It was at this point that the hyperventilating finally stopped.
SEE, SAKURA-CHAN? ITS NOT THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND!
SHIKAMARUS NOW A FROG, SEE? AND YOURE A WITCH LIKE US! AND
EVEN IF THE TEME IS A FAIRY, HES STILL A JERK. WELL STILL TAKE CARE
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OF YOU AND HELP YOU ANDSAKURA-CHAN? WHY ARE YOUR EYES
ROLLING BACK FROM YOUR...SAKURA-CHAN!
And Haruno Sakura fainted.
***
By the time she woke up, she was back in her bedroom, with a worried-looking
Ino hovering above her. Sakura smiled, and yawned, and opened her mouth to say that
she just had the weirdest, most bizarre dream (nightmare) in all her twenty-one years of
living.
Ribbit.
Ribbit!
Her mouth froze mid-yawn, and she stared as the big, green (green!) frog stared
back at her, its little belly swollen, its cheeks puffed out, its black eyes half-sleepy, and
its tiny little feet clutching almost lovingly to her blonde best friends shoulder.
Now, Sakura
ARGHH!
Sakura
ARGHH!
Sakura
ARGHH! ARGHH! AR
SLAP!
Haruno Sakura! Get ahold of yourself, Forehead girl!
Silence.
Good. Now listen to me. And Naruto, no interrupting.
But Ino-chan
I SAID NO INTERRUPTING. You, too, Hyuuga.
Im not interrupting anyone. Im not an idiot.
HEY! ARE YOU IMPLYING IM AN
I SAID SHUT UP, UZUMAKI NARUTO! Now, Sakura, are you still paying
attention? Goodyou havent fainted yet. Now listen closely and listen good, because
this is a matter of light and death
Um, Ino-chan, its life and death, not light and death
SMACK!
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...Fine! Im shutting up! At least my voice isnt loud anymore! Hah! I
SMACK!
Ow...
Okay, now that thats over...Forehead? Now listen: eyes on me, mind open. No
freaking out again. And listen.
And as Sakura remained sitting on her bed, eyes wide and alert (and trying not
to think about how violent Ino was when irritated, how Naruto already had two lumps in
his head, and how Neji and the frog were staring at her soundlessly), she let her mind
open to the staggering possibilities.
And she listened.
iii. Sasuke
Day two.
Sasuke-kun, would you like to butter my muffin?
Silence.
Sasuke-kun, would you like me to lick your lollipop?
Silence.
Sasuke-kun, would you like to have sex?
No.
The single word was said in such finality and bluntness that had Karin pouting
and folding her arms petulantly in front of hernot that Sasuke noticed. Nor cared.
His eyes were fixed on the road ahead, he ignored the red-haired girl sitting on
the passenger seat of his dark blue sports car (his favorite of the five he owned), crossing
and uncrossing her legs every few seconds or so. She was wearing an incredibly short
skirt, one that blatantly showed off her thighs, and a sparkly tube top that made sure her
cleavage was pushed up and available for his viewing pleasurenot that he bothered to
look, anyway.
His thoughts were on something else.
Or someone else, to be more precise.
They had been, ever since last nightwhen he had unwittingly showed up at
that bar, intending only to get a drink and get rid of his current companion (who had been
trailing after him like a lovesick (horny) puppy ever since they had gotten acquainted one
week ago at his familys annual elite social gathering. Karins father was his fathers
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business associate, and so he had to be polite, and entertained her for the so-called
business sake). He had never intended to go to Haruno Sakuras birthday, much less
expected that the bar he had gone into would be the same club it was celebrated in.
They had never been close, to say the least.
Until last night.
Until those kisses.
...Not that he cared.
Why would he care? He wasnt going to think about it.
He wasnt.
He didnt even like her. She was annoying and loud and too smart for her own
goodnot to mention idealistic, the way she trailed after him in their childhood days
with hearts in her eyes and a smile always ready for him, as she asked him out for dates
every single day.
Not that that was the case now, of course.
She had gotten over him, that much was obvious.
A flash of pink had him changing the direction of his gaze, his eyes narrowing
behind dark sunglasses. Without further ado, he slowed down, and watched as she
entered Starbucks, her pink hair darting everywhere and her light yellow skirt flying
behind her heels.
Sasuke-kun, why are we stopping?
Hn.
Oh, youre getting me coffee! You sexy beast! Youre getting me sooo turned
on right now...
He slammed the door, and left Karin moaning (annoyingly) to herself, figuring
she was going to do this for a while (she always did). The door of the coffee shop tinkled
when he entered. He scanned the area, looking for that bright color that would identify
his so-called target
Hey, did you guys see the Gossip Girl episode last night? Its awesome...
the one person who had made him curious last night, which resulted to that
disastrous event
Did you hear who Gael cheated with on Mari yesterday? It was so dirty...
that one girl who wouldnt stop invading his thoughts (and his vision) last
night
Heres your mocha latte, Miss.
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Thank you. Thats very sweet of you.
His head snapped to his right at the sound of the voice. Sasuke watched as she
smiled at the young man behind the counter who had handed over her coffee. Said young
man smiled back, his eyes flirting intensely with her. She seemed aware of this (or maybe
she wasnt, Sasuke couldnt really tell), for she only smiled wider, much to the mans
delight. Silently, Sasuke made his way behind her, eyes on the manhe mustve felt it,
because he turned his gaze away from Sakura and stared right into Sasukes dark onyx
eyes.
Hastily, the man averted his gaze and nervously scuttled off to handle the orders
of the other customers.
Sakura whirled around with a confused frown, before shrugging her shoulders.
Because she wasnt staring at where she was going, she ended up nearly bumping into
Sasuke and spilling her coffee all over him.
Oh, Im sorry, I didnt see...oh.
It wouldve been comical to see how her green eyes got so wide and her mouth
opened into a tiny little o, if he had been paying attention to her expressions at all. But
no. He was paying attention to how her hands tightened on her coffee cup, holding them
for dear life. She took a step forwardthen, almost as if she was trying to reprimand
herself, she took two steps back.
She started to fidget and avoid his gaze.
Er...hi, Sasuke-kun. Fancy seeing you around. Here to have a cup of black
coffee? I recall that you hate sweets, so youre probably here for something really bitter
and sugarless and...yeah. You dont like sweets. But its not morning, its afternoon,
nearly night, so I dont know why you want coffee in the first place. Yeah. Thats weird.
She was babbling nervously. And she was flushing a brilliant, brilliant red.
Well, I have to go! Theres this thing, you see, that I need to do, and its not
like I need your help, and Im probably bothering you, you should get your coffee right
eahh!
All of a sudden, she was stumbling forward and into his arms, coffee spilling all
over the floor, all over her skirt...
Electricity shooting all over his system.
He jolted, and so did she. Abruptly, she pulled away, her eyes still wide, her
mouth still opened, her hands trembling and her feet moving back.
Isorry! I didnt meanits notyou knowits not...dont look at me like
that.
The last words were said in a tiny, breathless whisper.
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Sasuke tried to ignore the heat flowing through his loins at her voice, and tried
to focus on her as she stared at him, then became a blur, as she ranwait.
Why was she running out of the coffee shop?
Glaring at the gaping customers (because really, though her actions were that
bizarre, it was none of their business), Sasuke inwardly sighed.
And he followed.
***
It was like a cat following a mouse that did not want to be found.
Not that Sakura was a mouse. She was like a tiger, really, with her temper (he
could never forget that tempernobody could) and her somewhat scary streak
and the way she kissed and plundered him last night, touching him all over
Shit. Dont think.
Darn it. Stay away!
Ah. He found her.
She was inside the huge storage closet of the private section of the Konoha local
library, after so many hours of trying to outrun and outsmart (che!) him. She was panting
from exertionbut nevertheless, still trying to get as far away from him as possible.
Sakura.
Slowly, he closed the door, ensuring that she wouldnt get away.
Idont do that. Dontwe cant be in the same place at the same time! Its
not safe!
Haruno, what are you talking about?
Its not something youd understand! Its ridiculous and weird and
Youre the one acting weird.
Its not something I can control unless I find my second true love andand
dont come closer. DONT COME CLOCLOSER!
Her breath was hitching.
He tried to control his own pulses quickening.
Why did he even follow her?
Haruno, quit acting
Dontcomecloserits notsafeI...just dont. Dont.
Why?
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Its...complicated.
It was getting darkthat much was clear, judging from the tiny slit of a window
up above their heads which showed the setting sun. Sasuke decided to stop coming near
her and settled for leaning on the doortheir way outarms on his pockets. She was
standing on the opposite side, stance cautious, skirt still slightly wet, gripping a nearby
desk as if ready to toss it at him if he ever took a tiny step forward.
I have time to listen, he said bluntly.
Maybe we should just go home
Talk, Haruno. Or I wont let you out.
Youyou cant do that! Thats illegal! You cant
Why is there electricity when we touch?
She shut up.
Then attempted a careless, amused laugh.
...What electricity? What are you talking about? Theres nothing
Would you like me to come there and prove it?
His voice was low.
The reaction was instantaneous.
No! Dont you dare! NO!
Then talk.
A pause.
You wont believe me.
Try me.
Its unbelievable.
Hn.
Out-of-this-world.
Hn.
Preposterous
Sakura...just tell me why.
Silence.
Figuring she wasnt going to say a single word anymore, Sasuke took one step
forward, ready to test his observations again and
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Im a witch.
He paused, and stared at her.
She stared back in half-defiance, half-hesitation.
Along with Naruto, Shikamaru and Neji.
He kept on staring.
She began babbling.
We witches are destined to find our one true love, in different waystheyre
all based on a book, a magic book, but thats complicated to explain, so Ill get to that
later. The point is, if we dont comply to the rules, the prophecy, we turn into frogs. We
need to find the one fairy, our true love, and make that creature ours. Its my turn now,
and I have to find him in three dayswait, two days now. Shikamaru had the same curse
three years ago, and he found Ino, and
Im not a fairy.
A pause.
Well...you sort of are.
Sasuke scoffed, not believing a single word coming out of her mouth.
And Im not your one true love.
You are. But I have my second true love.
...What?
I dont plan to make you mine. It wont work. Youll just go around chasing
girls like you used to in high school She faltered at this for a moment, her eyes
shading, before going back to normal. She continued, Thats why Im looking for my
second true love. He can save me and the others. Hes a fairy, too, and Ino told me Ill
feel the same sparks with him and
Sakura...there are no such thing as fairies.
But you are a fairy.
Stop fooling around.
Through the now-darkening room, he saw her eyes flash.
Im not fooling around! I can prove it! The magnet between usthe pull!
Youre a fairy!
Im not.
Wave your fist once! Think of light! It will work!
She was a lunatic.
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He should leave.
Its not
Wave it! Wave it!
Sakura
Wave it!
He grunted in annoyance. Fine. Waving. Thinking. Nothing.
But it wasnt a nothing.
Sakura stared at his hand, her eyes now sparking in triumph.
Sasuke merely stared at it in shock. There was now a bright yellow glow
surrounding it.
***
You see! I told you! Its true! she crowed triumphantly, coming closer to
admire the glow in his hand. Its so pretty, Ino said her first time producing a light
barely became a spark, much less a glow, but yours, itsIits...oh.
Because of her enthusiasm, Sakura seemed to have forgotten to keep her
distance from himresulting in her touching his glowing hand excitedly, and the
electricity coming back again.
Her eyes flew up to his.
His held hers.
Iyoure so close...I cant help itIm sorry, its not...oh, Lord.
And before Sasuke could even register that yes, he was a fairy (because despite
his disbelief in such things, he knew reality when he saw one), Haruno Sakura was
suddenly leaping into his arms.
And fusing her mouth to his.
His reaction was instantaneous.
Madness.
His mind blanked. His mind freaking blanked, as it never had before, the
moment their lips touched, the moment he felt her touch on his and her kisses. The
pleasure was careening through his system, sending huge tingles all over, making his
body hum and stumble backwards until his back was on the door again, his hormones
raging all over.
He gritted his teeth, and with whatever speck of strength he had left, he flipped
her around, until it was her back on the wall, her legs straddling his waist.
The glow had long ago vanished from his hand.
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He felt her hands go to his neck, rubbing soft circles there. He felt her tongue
coming out, tracing his lips lightly, making him open his own mouth and let his tongue
out to dance with hers.
He swore, he swore, he was seeing stars then. He had never been this desperate,
this helpless before.
Hurriedly, he yanked his mouth away from hers, and proceeded to nip her jaw.
She whimpered, and moaned, and put her hands in his hair, as he showered openmouthed
kisses on her neck, on her throat.
Ithis isSasuke-kun...
His name on her lips was the most erotic thing he had ever heard.
Slowly, she yanked his head back up and hungrily attacked his mouth again. His
eyes crossed. Her hands went under his shirt, to touch his muscles, his hot skin.
I needto stop, she panted out. Ineedto lookfor mysecond true
love. In a minute. Ina minute.
How could she say that when she was still running her hands all over him, still
pulling him to her tempting heat?
This was Haruno Sakurachildhood acquaintance since kindergarten, and
nothing else. Ordinary girl, with an extraordinary brainbut there was nothing special
about her, nothing particularly sexy, nothing particularly stunning.
Youre lying to yourself.
Maybe he was. But he never touched her before, because he knew she was
innocentnot in the physical sense alone, but in everything else. His gut instinct had
always told him that if he touched her, like he did to all those high school girls, he would
corrupt herher, who never showed anything but kindness to him (no matter how
annoying it was at that time). She was pure. Ordinary.
And she smelled so good. Tasted so good.
Boldly, his one hand went underneath her still-coffee-wet skirt. She quivered,
and he had the pleasure of hearing her say his name again, this time with a trembling
voice. His other hand went under her plain gray shirt, bypassing her bra, dipping his
fingers in, and
Haruno? Haruno, where are youholy hell.
And that was when it all stopped.
***
Sasuke glared at the hollow vision of Neji, standing inside the storage closet,
flicking in and out of view. A magical hologram.
Why was he even surprised?
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Neji glared right back.
Face red, hands frantically arranging every piece of her clothing in place, Sakura
glanced at Neji nervously, refusing to look at Sasuke at all.
Neji, what are you doing here? How did you find me?
It took me hours. But you were sending distress signals to us earlier, and
Naruto and Ino were worried, so weve been looking for you everywhere. He paused.
Though I hadnt expected this to be your cause of distress.
Sasuke immediately shifted his glare to Sakura. She ignored it, blushing a deep,
deep color.
Well...I...theres nothing going on here. Im still trying to find my second true
love, as we speak.
Sasukes glare intensified.
Neji merely raised a brow. ...Right.
Awkward, awkward silence.
So, um...where are you now? Ill go there now. Itsyawnreally late and I
shouldyawnjust...go...
Without further ado, Sakuras eyes closed and slumped down on the floor.
Sasukes glare turned into an alarmed frown as he caught her (and tried to ignore
the shocking electricity coming back at the simple contact).
Neji frowned at him.
Dont tell me she hasnt had her coffee.
...What relevance does that have?
Neji glared at him.
In case you dont know yet, Uchihaeven if you dont seem so surprised
anymore by the magic thingwe witches get our energy from coffee.
...Everyone does.
Its our destiny to have coffee all the time. Otherwise we sleep nonstop.
Hn.
Nejis glare intensified.
Sasuke glared back.
Im coming to get you. Stay put, Uchiha. Dont touch her
Poof.
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And before he could even finish, Hyuuga Neji became a frog. A big brown one.
From somewhere in the hologram, Sasuke heard some grumbling, followed by a
panicking male voice.
Its not even midnight! Naruto whined. How can he be a frog? IM GOING
TO BE NEXT! IM GOING TO BEhey, Teme! What are you doing there? Where are
you? WHAT DID YOU DO TO SAKURA-CHAN? Dont move! Im coming to get you
both!
Hn.
With one last glare, this time from Naruto (which was nowhere near as vicious
as Nejis), the hologram vanished.
Silence.
Sasuke looked down and stared at Sakuras sleeping form. She looked peaceful
when asleepso sweet and innocent, as if there was no temper or viciousness at all.
The electricity was still therebut as he continued to watch her and feel her
even breathing against his skin, he was surprised to find the electricity turn into a gradual
humming, and the humming faded away slowly, until there was none.
He pushed her hair out of her eyes and touched her cheek, his heart lurching
when her mouth slightly opened; she murmured words in her sleepnone that were his
name, but her voice alone was enough to calm him down, to make him wish shed say his
name again. Not in desire, nobut just in happiness, in contentment.
Just in familiarity, something that they never had.
This was dangerous. What the hell was wrong with him?
Well, youre a fairy. What else could go wrong with you? His mind argued.
He shouldnt be thinking of these things.
With a sigh, Sasuke settled on the floor and waited for instructions, his back on
the wall, and the pink-haired girl curled up in his arms (as if she belonged there). He tried
not to think, and tried not to even feel (which, at the moment, was becoming quite hard).
And he watched her.
iv. Yours
Day three.
Sakura-chan! The name of your second true love is Sai! Sai, Sai, Sai!
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Sakura stared at her male best friend as he grabbed her hands, jumping up and
down in barely-suppressed excitement.
Not that Naruto could ever really suppress his excitement.
Naruto...how do you know my true love is
Ribbit.
...is that Neji in your pocket?
Dismissing a shocked Sakura as she stared at the little bulge in the blonds
pocket (and the little noises that accompanied every movement of said bulge), Naruto
waved his hands in impatience.
Never mind that.
Hesyoure choking him! Your pocket is all zipped up! Glaring at the
blond, Sakura immediately opened the zipper and yanked the brown frog away. She
cradled Neji in her hands, making cooing little noises as she did so.
Sakura-chan! Naruto whined. Youre spoiling him! Lets get to the point
here!
She glared at him again. Naruto, you are going to be like this in a few hours, so
you should be thankful that Im spoiling all of you and agreeing to this silly prophecy that
I dont even know
But we told you, Sakura-chanthe pages are blank again! I swear
Fine, fine. I know, Naruto. I get it. Now...back to your point? Second true
love?
The concept had never really sat well with Sakura. If you had your one true
love...then what was the point of having a second?
She then remembered dark, dark hair and onyx eyes that never failed to make
her heart beat faster, even without the magnet pulling them together. Even without the
magic. The guy who was supposed to be her one true loveyet last night, after that
wonderful, wonderful kiss (make-out session), he had dumped her sleeping figure in the
arms of a frantic Naruto.
And she had never seen him again.
Yeah, thats why, she murmured to herself.
It wasnt her first time to be rejected, to say the least. He had been rejecting her
since who knew wheneverytime he ignored her in elementary, made out with a girl in
the high school halls...had sexual escapades with every available and willing female in
the university.
She was supposed to be used to it.
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She told herself it didnt matter.
Hey, Sakura-chan! Are you even listening to me?
Shaking her head slightly, Sakura snapped back to reality and smiled brilliantly
at Naruto. Of course! she chirped. Second true love! My fairy charming! Let me at
him!
The blond gave her an odd, concerned look. Er...hes right in front of you.
Blinking her eyes, Sakura focused, inwardly cursing herself for not doing so.
She smiled dazzlingly again, hoping her second true love was nicer, kinder, and would
fall for her in an instant and
She stared.
Paled.
Naruto...why does he look exactly like Sasuke?
A nervous laugh.
Well, theyre distant cousins, but thats irrairrevelirrelaah, I mean thats
not the point! He and the Teme dont get along well, so Im sure hes way better than
him!
...Naruto, you do realize youre endlessly insulting your best friend?
Well, since my best friends a jerk, he deserves it!
Ribbit.
And see? The Hyuuga agrees with me!
How do you know this guys my second true love?
Almost as if on cue, her body started humming.
Oh. You see the sparks.
Exactly! Naruto beamed. Now go get him! He has an appointment with you
in a few minutes!
Sakura tried not to look mortified.
Hey, Sai! You, Uchiha guy! COME HERE!
Of course he would hear himNaruto was just about the loudest guy there was.
The Sasuke look-a-like approached them with a serene face, moving just as gracefully as
any Uchiha would.
Naruto-kun. Long time no see.
Sai! I want you to meet somebody! This is my best friend! Haruno Sakura!
He turned to her. He smiled.
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Hi.
With a deep breath, Sakura smiled back. Hi.
It was time to get to know her second true love.
And get to know him intimately.
***
She was flirting with him.
She was flirting.
Her hands fluttering all over his shoulders, smiling up at him as if he was
special, as if he was the most fascinating person she had ever met.
Sasukes hands fisted in his pockets, a frown forming in his face.
He had never really liked his fake-smiled relative.
Sure, the guy looked decent and formal and nicebut Sai was a good-for-
nothing playboy, just like Sasuke himself. The only difference was, Sasuke was upfront
about it, making no excuses for who he was, for what he was.
Sai was the sneaky cousin.
It annoyed Sasuke that Sakura was flirting almost shamelessly with the guy
(ignoring, of course, the fact that he, Sasuke, did the same thing to almost every girl he
met)and it annoyed him that he was annoyed. He had come here to tell her good luck
on her quest, because he knew he wasnt meant for the rolenever had been, never
would be.
Only to be faced with this sight.
Sasuke watched as Sai leaned forward and gave the pink-haired girl (shes so
oblivious!) a polite (lingering!) peck on the cheek. She blushed.
Then, she turned her cheek...and placed her mouth on his.
Sparks instantly began flying everywhere.
Sasukes head roared, as he saw Sai pull her closer.
Sasukes blood boiled, as he saw Sakura cling to the guy and say his name in a
murmur.
Something in him ached. So badly that he couldnt ignore it.
He had a feeling he wouldnt be able to in a long, long time.
Oh, my goodness. Youre jealous.
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The sound of the shrill, whispered-out voice (not that it was anything as soft as a
whisper) had Sasukes head snapping back. It took him a moment to see that his hands
were out of his pockets, burning a bright red now.
It took him another to register Ino standing beside him, staring at him as if he
had grown two more heads.
Hn.
Ino kept on staring, blue eyes wide. You like her.
I do not, he said firmly.
And not in the lust way, though thats part of it, obviouslyyoure a male,
duhbut you actually like her.
No, he said, more bluntly this time. Impossible. He even scoffed for good
measure.
Ino eyed him thoughtfully.
So you dont mind if she and Sai have a wild, passionate time before the sun
sets? Its all for the curse, you know.
His red hands glowed even redder.
Her gaze turned gleeful.
Uchiha? You know theres only one solution to that.
...
Sabotage. And I know youre good at that and
Poof!
Ribbit.
...Naruto?
Ribbit. RIBBIT, RIBBIT!
Ino rolled her eyes and picked him up with a disgusted look on her face.
Orange frogI shouldve known. She turned back to Sasuke, giving him a level stare.
You better fix this.
He frowned at her.
And you better not hurt her.
With that, she stalked off, leaving him staring as Sai deepened the kiss. As
Sakura accepted.
His eyes began to bleed a deep, dark red.
Screw not being meant to be.
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Like hell her sparks with that stupid Sai were as brilliant as his.
***
Sakura entered her internship office with her face flushed, her hair mussed, and
her clothes in semi-wrinkled form.
You cant see him again.
And the earlier hope that had been surrounding her like a bubble earlier
vanished into thin air, as she sawstared atwho was standing inside her office, arms
crossed, looking so sexy, and leaning on her little wooden desk as if he belonged there.
What? she asked, for lack of anything better to say.
There arent enough sparks.
...What?
Sasuke began to look very annoyed.
Are you deaf, Haruno? Or do you just have fun trying to act stupid like that?
Sakura pinned shocked eyes on him, before she finally recovered enough to
glare, and stalked closer to him.
And took a step back, when the electricity suddenly began enveloping them like
a warm, warm blanket.
Not a blanket! she screamed in her mind. A high-voltage disaster!
Im not stupid! she snapped, putting her hands on her hips in defiance. And
what are you doing here, anyway? You have no rightits not likewhy are you coming
closer?
He didnt answer, choosing instead to slowly walk towards her, his lashes (dark,
long, sooty) lowered, his lips closed tight. The sight of said lips distracted her
momentarily, before she snapped out of it and stepped backwards, away.
WhatSasuke-kun, would you please back off? Iitseahh!
He pounced.
She averted, and streaked straight for her desk, using it as a barrier between
them.
Uchiha Sasuke! she snarled. Quit acting like a deranged animal! Youre a
fairy! Youre supposed to have grace and dignity! Just because theres electricity between
us
I want you.
Her breathing stopped, and nearly hitched at that, but she stubbornly stamped it
back down and cleared her throat.
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I said just because theres electricity between us doesnt mean
Is the electricity you have with me the same as with that bastard?
She was not going to admit that no, it wasntnobody and nothing could be the
same as him, for he was Uchiha Sasuke, and nobody and nothing was the same as Uchiha
Sasuke.
Of course, she said airily, folding her arms. And hes polite and nice and so
sweet
And hes not your one true love.
Well, hes my second true love, and that counts for something. We have a
connection andeahh!
She nearly, very nearly had a heart attack, as without warning, invisible strings
of magic started pulling her to him. He smirked, staying where he was, in the middle of
the office, waiting for her to come to him.
She resisted, of course.
No, Sasuke-kunSasukethis isntyoure playingIoh, my Lord.
She watched, eyes bulged, as he slowly took off his shirt.
As his pale skin showed, his muscles rippling with every movement.
Her mouth instantly went dry.
If you think Im impressed, youyou clearlydont know methis is
barbaric, even for a fairy like youoof!
And she was suddenly in his arms (not her idea!), and her heart was beating
loudly again, and there was a roaring in her ears that she tried to ignore but found she
couldnt.
Wheredid you learn that? That magic?
Silence.
...I practiced last night, he muttered.
She closed her eyes, and tried not to think of how good he felthow right.
He only wanted her for her body. To satiate his lust, their attraction. Nothing
more. Maybe he saw Sai flirting with her, and thought his pride couldnt handle it.
Why was he doing this to her?
Dont do this, she whispered, trying to keep her voice steady. Trying to stay
strong and resistant and wise.
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But he covered her mouth with his own, and instead of hot and hungry, like his
kisses usually were, this one was soft and gentle and thorough in ways that she had never,
ever been kissed before. As if he was putting his all into it.
Her heart broke a little.
Then it fluttered, and soared.
And all rational thoughts flew out of her head.
***
She wasnt kissing him backshe was, in fact, avoiding kissing him altogether,
her lips pressed tight; her hands clenched in front of his chest, stubbornly not touching.
But he was drowning all the same, even when he tried to anchor himself, to look for
leverage.
The kiss lasted for who knew how longhe wasnt counting. But the need for
air arose (who knew fairies and witches needed air as much as humans?), and he
reluctantly broke the kiss, keeping his gaze on her as he did so.
Her eyes opened, dark and dazed. And very, very green.
Ours is different, he statedgrunted.
Silence.
Say something, he demanded, annoyed now.
Something fluttered in her eyesa kind of hope, accompanied by something
else. She tamped it down, and stubbornly held up her chin.
You like women, she said steadilya contrast to her shaking hands fluttering
and flexing on his skin.
He smirked. I can manage without them.
I yell a lot. I have a temper, she reasoned. It can be ugly.
He shrugged. It turns me on.
She flushed.
Idont know you that well. You dont know me, either.
We will.
Silence.
I fall in love. You might not, she whispered, almost vulnerable.
It was that that had him placing his thumbs on her cheeks, and cupping her face
until she was looking him straight in the eye.
Well give it a try, he muttered.
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A pause.
You can punch me if I cheat.
Which he wouldnt. Not with her.
Silence.
Sakura...give me a chance.
And her face changed.
Okay, she murmured. Sakura put her forehead on his, and closed her eyes
once more.
But lets take it slow. Please.
He had no problem with that.
Go out with me, he demanded, voice low and husky.
Okay, she said, a small smile forming on her now-swollen (and very
distracting) lips. She opened her eyes again, and he saw them sparkling with contentment.
Determination.
Mischief.
But can we do it now? I really, really need to fulfill the prophecy before Ino
turns into a frog any minute now.
He smirked, hands inching low on her shirt.
Well, that, he had no problem with either.
None at all.
***
Poof.
Poof.
POOF.
That was troublesome.
I agree.
THAT WAS FUN!
Neji and Shikamaru merely looked at their blond companion, the latter rolling
his eyes.
INO-CHAN! INO-CHAN! WERE BACK! CANT YOU SEE?
Yeah, yeah, Naruto. I can see.
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THEN WHY ARENT YOU LOOKING AT US?
Well...youre naked.
There was a loud eep, as Naruto hurriedly tried to hide himself behind a set of
curtains in the vacant hospital room the four of them were in (it was the only place Ino
could think of to hide them).
You know, Neji said in observation, Youve changed, Yamanaka. You would
never have had any shame in ogling us when we were in high school.
Well, Hyuuga, thats because I wasnt in love before. I have only one person
Id love to look at naked now.
To emphasize her point, she swiveled her head to her boyfriends direction and
greedily drank in the sight of his naked body.
Neji sighed, and slowly took the bed sheets from the hospital bed, tossing one to
Shikamaru and covering himself with the other.
HEY! GIVE ME ONE!
Shut up, Naruto, Ino complained, pouting as Shikamaru began covering
himself as well. You should be happy youre back to being a witch. You look ugly as a
frog.
HEY! Naruto brightened up, completely ignoring the other blondes jab.
Speaking of that...does that mean Sakura-chan and Sai had sex already?
Ino smirked.
Not Sai, she said in triumph.
A pause.
...SAKURA-CHAN HAD SEX WITH A STRANGER?
Which was rewarded by a very hard whack on his head, courtesy of Ino.
What? Are you implying our best friend is a slut? Of course not! Ino snapped.
Its Sasuke-kun, you dimwit!
Silence. Then
BUT HES A BASTARD! HES A JERK! HES A
He likes her.
WHAT? WHAT?
He likes her, she repeated.
At this Naruto shut up and tilted his head to the side, scratching his head in
contemplation.
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Hes never liked anyone before, he said thoughtfully.
Exactly, she confirmed.
But how could this be? Naruto asked in confusion. Theyve known each
other for years! Why only now?
Inos eyes softened at this, she glanced at Shikamaru, before turning back to the
still-confused blond.
Sometimes, Naruto...these things just take time, you know.
A pause.
Naruto finally sighed, albeit reluctantly. Fine, fine. Ill give him a chance.
That-a-boy! She enthusiastically went to him, intending to pat him in the back.
BACK OFF! IM NAKED!
Oh, fine. Spoilsport.
Ino, are you flirting with him?
Why, Shika-kun, are you jealous?
...
Yamanaka. How did you know it was the first Uchiha? Not that Sai guy? Neji
asked.
Well, because I just know.
HOW? Naruto insisted.
Because its meant to be, she declared firmly. Its bullshit to think that
Sakura would settle for her second true loveShikamaru didnt, remember?
And they all remembered how Ino had thrown a very jealous fit, all those years
ago, when they all found out that Temari, Shikamarus second true love, actually lusted
over him as much as Ino had.
It was a good thing he was a wise, wise man.
Heart content and happy beyond belief that everything was back to normal, Ino
clapped her hands, tugged her boyfriends hand, and went straight out of the room
intending to celebrate, and to make the world know that yes, life was good. That life was
great.
In three years, another prophecy would come.
They had all the time in the world to prepare.
***
Three years later.
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Sasuke-kun?
Hn.
I cant believe you stayed, even after all these years, she teased.
...Hn.
You must really love me, Sasuke-kun! she chirped.
Silence.
Her eyes narrowed. Because if youre only in this for the hot, unbelievably
orgasmic sexoomf!
She was stopped from her rant by his mouth on hers and his hands on hers, and
everything inside her turning to liquid jelly. She sighed and gave in, putting her arms
around him and enjoying the way her heart fluttered every time he did just that.
I love you, you know.
She focused her gaze on his and watched as his onyx eyes softened slightly (an
expression only meant for her). Felt it, as his arms held her more gently now.
Hn.
Translation: Yes. I love you, too.
She moved her head, intending to kiss him again, to feel him again
HOLY FREAKING COW!
She paused and swiveled her head to the table, where Naruto and the gang were
sitting. Beside the table was the sign: Narutos Kissing SpotFree Ramen for All!
Surrounding said table were Neji with his brows raised uncharacteristically
higher than usual, Shikamaru with his hand scratching his head, and Ino looking like she
wanted to either vomit or strangle someone to death.
In the middle of the table were none other than Naruto and Karin, making out
like there was no tomorrow.
Um, Sasuke-kun?
Sasuke averted his eyes from her and turned to look at the sight. His mouth
slightly quirked. Hn.
...Help us find Narutos second true love, will you?
He smirked again.
And she smiled.
Hn.
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J izzin My Pants
I really wouldnt go in there if I were you, dude.
Sasuke shot Naruto a withering look. The blond had effectively cut him off from
entering the grocery store. The automatic doors shuttered and reopened, confused by
Narutos immoveable stance. Customers behind them started grumbling. Sasuke pinched
the bridge of his nose, having already spent the last two minutes trying to convince the
idiot to move.
Naruto, get out of the way. I have to clock in before Im late, Sasuke growled,
attempting to barrel through his long-time friend.
Seriously, Sasuke, take a personal holiday, call out, hell dont call out, just
dont go in there! Naruto flailed his arms around desperately, trying to fend off the
crowd of determined shoppers.
You wont even tell me why! Sasuke shouted, frustrated. Either spill, or step
aside!
Yeah! someone else from the crowd agreed vehemently.
Get out of the way, jerk! another voice called out.
Naruto sighed in defeat, before reluctantly stepping aside. Just dont say I never
tried to warn you, he mumbled.
Sasuke pushed past him and into the entryway, before striding with purpose to
the time clock. He sighed in relief when he found he was still technically on time.
Punching in, he pulled on his uniform shirt and made his way to the produce section. On
his way, he passed by the customer service desk, where he caught Tenten staring at him,
before she looked away sharply with a smirk.
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Come to think of it, Kakashi, the front end manager was also looking at him. A
quick glance over his shoulder confirmed that all the cashiers on the front end had ceased
scanning and now motionlessly gawked at him. As if rehearsed, they all began snickering
before turning back to their customers.
Sasuke blinked twice, trying to confirm if he actually saw that before shaking
away his paranoia and heading over to his department. The looks didnt stop there,
however. Every single one of his co-workers suddenly had a new-found fascination with
the reserved stocker. People he didnt even know worked at Konoha Marketplace were
giving him loaded looksmost of sadistic amusement, but a few were even more
disturbingly of deep pity.
He found himself retreating to the flower shop after only two hours to escape the
sudden and unwanted attention. Was he going insane? Or did everyone know something
he didnt?
Ino popped out of the cooler to greet him with a saccharine hello and that same
damned smirk the rest of his co-workers wore. Sasuke felt his irritation boil over into full
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Come to think of it, Kakashi, the front end manager was also looking at him. A
quick glance over his shoulder confirmed that all the cashiers on the front end had ceased
scanning and now motionlessly gawked at him. As if rehearsed, they all began snickering
before turning back to their customers.
Sasuke blinked twice, trying to confirm if he actually saw that before shaking
away his paranoia and heading over to his department. The looks didnt stop there,
however. Every single one of his co-workers suddenly had a new-found fascination with
the reserved stocker. People he didnt even know worked at Konoha Marketplace were
giving him loaded looksmost of sadistic amusement, but a few were even more
disturbingly of deep pity.
He found himself retreating to the flower shop after only two hours to escape the
sudden and unwanted attention. Was he going insane? Or did everyone know something
he didnt?
Ino popped out of the cooler to greet him with a saccharine hello and that same
damned smirk the rest of his co-workers wore. Sasuke felt his irritation boil over into full
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Come to think of it, Kakashi, the front end manager was also looking at him. A
quick glance over his shoulder confirmed that all the cashiers on the front end had ceased
scanning and now motionlessly gawked at him. As if rehearsed, they all began snickering
before turning back to their customers.
Sasuke blinked twice, trying to confirm if he actually saw that before shaking
away his paranoia and heading over to his department. The looks didnt stop there,
however. Every single one of his co-workers suddenly had a new-found fascination with
the reserved stocker. People he didnt even know worked at Konoha Marketplace were
giving him loaded looksmost of sadistic amusement, but a few were even more
disturbingly of deep pity.
He found himself retreating to the flower shop after only two hours to escape the
sudden and unwanted attention. Was he going insane? Or did everyone know something
he didnt?
Ino popped out of the cooler to greet him with a saccharine hello and that same
damned smirk the rest of his co-workers wore. Sasuke felt his irritation boil over into full
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fledged anger. Something was going on here, and he had a feeling Ino, store gossip, knew
full well what it was.
Stalking into the cooler after her, he pinned her with a glare that meant serious
business. He was almost offended when she brushed it off to continue dating her
bouquets.
So, the minuteman deigns himself to speak to me? Im lucky today. She
laughed, not pausing in her task.
Excuse me? Sasuke found it difficult to keep the outrage out of his voice.
What did you call me?
Ino blinked as if she was almost surprised by his ignorance. Minuteman.
Racehorse. Instant Custard. Preemie. Yknow. Premature ejaculator.
WHAT? Sasuke couldnt stop the scarlet on his face any more than he could
hold back the tides, his helpless spluttering near involuntary.
Ino looked startled by his uncharacteristic outburst. Everyones been talking
about it. The whole store knows. I thought youd already heardNaruto said hed tell
you.
Sasuke said nothing, merely passed a hand over his eyes and tried to control
himself.
Realization suddenly dawned on Inos face at Sasukes strained face and
mortified silence. Oh my god, its true! she pratically screeched. Sasuke, Im sorry, I
thought it was just a stupid rumor
Shut up, shut up, Sasuke hissed, pushing away Inos earnest apologies. Who
the hell told you?
Ino shrunk, either intimidated or guilty. She clenched her lips together, an
involuntary act of defiance.
Ino, Sasuke warned, though with less heat than before.
She hung her head and looked away. Sakura. Sakura told everyone.
Sasuke felt like hed been run over by a power jack. Sakura?
She...
Shes gonna pay. Sasuke stalked out of the flower shop cooler, and headed
straight for the pharmacy.
He vaguely heard Ino yelling at him to cool down first, but didnt acknowledge
it as he stomped past the produce section, past the row of cash registers and straight to
where he knew Sakura would be working.
Thank you! Have a nice day! She smiled cheerily as she handed a prescription
to an elderly man. She turned her head to catch the movement out of the corner of her
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eye, and Sasuke had the dark satisfaction of seeing her balk when she realized the
approaching figure was him.
She squeaked slightly before turning to run behind the locked pharmacists door,
but Shizune was quicker, and slammed the door shut before she could safely barricade
herself in.
SHIZUNE! Sakura wailed, fists pounding the door.
You had this coming, Sakura! You knew better! Shizune chastised, before
turning away to measure out some pills.
Sasuke watched her pout momentarily before she sighed deeply and spun around
to face him, arms crossed, stance ramrod straightface totally pissed off.
Well, why the hell was she angry?
We have to talk, he seethed between clenched teeth, trying not to let the hurt
of her betrayal be too obvious to read.
Sakuras lips thinned momentarily before she bent down to retrieve her purse
from under the register. Im taking a break, she shot over her shoulder, not bothering to
wait for permission.
They walked down the frozen aisle together and back to the receiving dock. One
look from Sasuke and the grocery clerks and receiver fled, leaving Sakura and Sasuke to
trudge out of the back door alone. Once outside on the concrete stairwell, Sasuke rounded
on Sakura, backing her into a corner with the force of his outrage.
What the hell, Sakura. Ino told me you were the one who told everyone about
my...problem.
Sakura huffed. Well, she was right. She picked at her nails in an attempt to
seem nonchalant.
Sasuke deflated. He only just realized that a large part of himself had hoped this
was all a huge misunderstandingthat one of the most mortifying things that had ever
happened to him was not made common knowledge to every employee at this
godforsaken grocery store by the one person he could actually claim to like here.
He wanted to be furious, but instead, he just felt like a fool.
Why would you do that? he asked, sounding far more vulnerable than he
meant to.
Sakuras calm faade cracked. Dont play innocent with me!
1
An eye for an eye
and a tooth for a tooth, Sasuke!
This brought Sasukes rage back twofold.
What the hell is that supposed to mean? Youre not even Italian!" he roared,
fists clenched in vain to control his temper.
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Sakura gave as good as she got, meeting his glare and stepping so close their
noses almost touched. It means what goes around comes around, Sasuke! I know what
you told everyone and I DONT KNOW WHAT I EVER SAW IN YOU! she shouted
right in his face.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? Sasuke shouted back. I DIDNT
TELL ANYONE ANYTHING!
YOU DIDNT?
NO!
OH!
They both staggered back, breathing heavily. Sasuke shoveled his hands through
his hair, and Sakura clenched her white tunic between her fingers. They met each others
gazes sheepishly.
Sasuke broke the silence first. What did you think Id told everyone?
Sakura emitted a grunt of disgust. Its been going around that you told people
that I was some sort of dominatrix freak in bed. She sighed. I thought you were taking
your insecurities out on me so...I, uh...retaliated.
Sasuke felt his stomach clench that she wouldve thought hed ever stoop to
such depths, even if he had been totally humiliated. Who told you I said that? he
inquired, planning a slow death to whoever dared.
Karin. Sakura sighed. She swore up and down it was you. Listen, Im sorry.
Sasuke sighed but let go of the knot in his chest. It was all a big
misunderstanding after all. Its alright, Sakura. I can almost understand why youd do
that, given what you thought I did. But seriously, next time, just talk to me and bump the
burning revenge down to priority number 2.
Sakura cheeks flushed crimson. I wouldve, except...
Sasuke caught her eye and raised an eyebrow.
She fumbled over her words. You havent exactly... been friendly with me,
since... she trailed off, letting Sasuke fill in the blanks.
It was his turn to flush. Um, yeah. About that. Im sorry I ran out after I... well,
yknow.
Its okay. Sakura hurried to placate him.
No, its not. Sasuke sighed. I shouldve told you... that was my first time. I
just didnt know how to bring it up.
Sakura gaped at him for a good five minutes. He was starting to get visibly
agitated when she finally had the sense to close her mouth and shake off her surprise.
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I mean, she started, obviously still disbelieving. I never thought you were a...
I mean, youre so hot, I just assumed...
Despite his level of discomfort, he still managed a smug smirk at those words.
...Then again, considering your disposition, I shouldve definitely suspected...
And then promptly deflated.
Sakura, he warned, and she grinned up at him sheepishly.
Can you forgive me? she asked matter-of-factly, standing and walking over to
him.
He didnt answer, but he did bend down to give her a quick kiss on the mouth.
He then whirled around and barged through the back door back into the receiving dock.
Sasuke? Where are you going? Sakura asked his retreating back.
To deal with Karin, he growled, exiting the back docks and turning to head
towards the salad bar prep room. Sure enough, the redhead was washing tomatoes,
preparing to chop them up.
You. Sasukes voice was flat and cold, but that wasnt really anything new.
Hi Sasuke! Karin greeted him enthusiastically, waving the knife around a little
carelessly.
Eyeing the blade warily, Sasuke decided to go for a gentler approach
considering she was armed. He focused his black gaze back on her be-speckled face.
You told Sakura I told you something about us being intimate? It was technically a
question, but it came out as more of a statement.
Karin blinked in confusion. But, you did.
Sasuke closed his eyes and counted to ten. He was ready to be done with this
whole stupid situationonly here did his life get so complicated and dramatic.
Karin, Id never tell you something like that, much less... Sasuke trailed off as
he noted for the first time just how thick Karins lenses actually were. Heywere you
wearing those when I spoke to you about Sakura?
Karin touched the frames sitting over her nose. These? Uh, no. I was washing
the dishes for the night; the steam always clouds them up.
Sasuke nodded in sudden understanding before the beginnings of a plan began to
formulate in the recesses of his brain. Thanks Karin. And in the futuredont have any
important conversations with me without your glasses.
Uh...sure, she agreed, still bewildered.
Sasuke left to go find Narutothey had work to do.
***
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Sai walked into several dozen pairs of eyes tracing his journey to the timeclock,
the slow swipe of his punch-in card, scrutinizing the way he replaced it in his wallet.
Hey Sai! Konohamaru, a young bagger called out. Is it true that you spread
false rumors about Sakura and Uchiha because you have a crush on him and was
jealous?
Naruto and Sasuke smirked at his grim expression, and Sakura leaned over from
the pharmacy counter to discreetly flip him the bird.
Sai smirked at the two friends in front of him. Touch, Uchiha. You win this
round.
Sasuke! Tsunade screamed from behind him. What have you been doing all
day, jerking off? The produce section looks like crap! And Naruto! What did I tell you?
If I dont see you behind that meat counter in ten minutes, youre gone!
Sasukes triumph was crushed under Tsunades practical heel, but he caught
Sakuras grin before he returned to stocking his bananas.
No, that wasnt a euphemism.
Not a Date
I ts not a date, he promptly stated. Smooth and direct.
She understood, probably believed him, yet she couldnt fight the warmth
spreading across her cheeks. He clearly saw this, though it never bothered him.
Of course, its not. She tried to match the eloquence of his voice.
And it meant that he already said yes. He would usually say yes to her,
somehow, on different terms, for as long as its not a date or something like that. Or so it
seemed.
She asked him to accompany her for a while to buy some books (if its okay
with him, if hes not doing anything, and he always happened to be freehe never did
tell her to just go with her friends instead). He already went with her once, or twice, but
asking him this kind of thing was always new to her.
And she knew that he knew too well the reason behind her invitations.
He waited patiently, browsed some books himself (mostly cookbooks, she
noted), but never made any sign of buying anything. He tried to help her find what she
needed: Alternative Cures, How Doctors Think, blah, blah, blah.
She scrutinized his actions from afar, impressed at how he looked so handsome,
so thoughtful with those ebony eyes that matched the shade of his hair. He would glance
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at her occasionally, always catching her staring, making him frown, and she would just
smile back at him before returning her eyes to the book she was scanning, pleased with
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at her occasionally, always catching her staring, making him frown, and she would just
smile back at him before returning her eyes to the book she was scanning, pleased with
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at her occasionally, always catching her staring, making him frown, and she would just
smile back at him before returning her eyes to the book she was scanning, pleased with
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herself.
Arent you hungry?
No you?
Well theres a nice place nearby Ill treat you for coming with me.
He scowled. She was guessing that he was getting annoyed at her.
Tch. Its fine. Ill treat you.
Walking beside him sent flutters to her stomach (and how she wished they could
walk on the sidewalks forever). The sun was undoubtedly out that day. Though the clouds
had its dark gloomy hue, signifying the possibility of rain, and despite the cold waft of
wind against her skin, still she felt warm.
At times, she would gaze at the glass windows to check if shes still presentable,
to see if her cherry pink hair was still in good condition, or to enjoy watching their
reflections: him one step ahead of her and her skipping happily behind.
She didnt miss the stolen glances from some of the people they passed by on
their way (him being so prominent and all that). She could tell from their faces that they
were assuming the two of them were together, and how she hoped it was true, but it
wasnt.
How about this restaurant? Its cheap How about that?
He slightly moved his head to her direction, a sign that he was aware that she
was still there, though he didnt stop or take a glimpse of the places she suggested. Not
that it mattered to her; she had always wanted to gain some of his attention. At least he
was reminded that he wasnt strolling alone, that he verily agreed to escort her this time.
(And she was actually contented at the fact that he found her annoying.)
She was caught off guard when he finally turned to face her and referred to the
restaurant a few feet away from them. She readily agreed (as if she could say no) and
followed. The venue was almost vacant, with only two tables taken. Perhaps this was the
reason why he preferred the place, she assumed, he always despised crowded places. He
led her to where he felt was the most comfortable table in the restaurant: at the corner, the
one beside the glass windows.
One bowl of ramen please. It was the best food that suited the weather, she
mused, handing the menu over to the waiter.
Black tea, he ordered for himself.
She laughed.
He looked at her, slightly baffled by the sound of her voice.
Youre on a strict diet, arent you Sasuke-kun? She gestured to the waiter.
Two bowls of ramen please.
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She didnt want the day to end; maybe the rain could stop at least, because it
never matched her mood. Or maybe she never really wanted the rain to stop, for it would
make her day with him longer.
She continued to talk about various topics, like Narutos fascination over ramen,
the differences between the principles of their acquaintances, etcetera and etcetera, for
she was fighting the silence that might intervene between them; for she might not have
the chance to start all over again. She realized that he was actually helping her in his own
subtle way, by means of his typical Hns, Tchs and Aasbut not after she lightheartedly
pointed out that he was worse than a mute. He glared, but thats okay. Its not the shut-
up-or-I-will-smash-your-face kind of glare that he used to give her and Naruto whenever
he was pissed off.
(And according to her, he was listening, though his expression said otherwise.)
He had finished eating his ramen minutes before she was done with hers and
began sipping his black tea. She poured some honey in her own tea, lemon tea, almost
three times already, and then copied the way he drank his.
Im sorry, she began, and gently placed her cup on the table. For taking
your time.
(Although she inwardly had no regrets that he was wasting his day for her.)
His onyx orbs consciously faced her, and there was a tiny hint of confusion
visible within them.
He regarded her momentarily, quiet and so impassive. And then slowly, he
leaned against his chair and focused on his teacup.
Tch, its too late for you to realize that.
But, I gave you a choiceand you said youre not doing
Therere more productive things than this. He was now swirling his cup like
someone does with wine.
I know. She breathed deeply, trying to be cool enough to talk to him in the
most casual way possible. Its just I want to be with you you see. She lowered her
head, a bit disheartened, and took another sip from her warm drink.
His posture became rigid but was immediately masked by his customary
composure. He had listened to her confessions every now and then, but her directness
always startled his senses.
Hn. thats a stupid excuse.
(A cautious response.)
She reverted her attention to the scenery outside the glass windows (to avoid
what she didnt want to see or hear from him), her emerald orbs observing the droplets of
rain that seemed to fade and became a drizzle. It was still raining, but the yellowish rays
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of sunlight that were apt to be seen in the afternoon were still emanating, making an
ineffable dramatic effect. It was rarely witnessed, but very normal, but just so perfect.
Just like him.
But you chose to be with me.

Thank you.
She knew she was right.
She couldnt hide the smile from her lips, and she could sense that he was
simply troubled by it (it grew wider when she realized this). If he was just a
conversationalist, then he would have long asked, Why are you smiling like that?
And she was glad he wasnt. Because she would not want to tell him (nor would
he ever want to know) the truth that he would actually say yes to her the next time she
would ask him, and the next time after that.
He paid the bill not long after.
It was still drizzling when they left. But she thought she liked the feeling of the
tiny drops against her skin, and he never seemed to mind it either. She was observing
him, his every move, remembering how his actions caught her eye from the first time she
saw him, and how he appeared to be like a moving faultless mannequin. He turned his
gaze to her, very quickly, and there was again the famous frown on his face.
He held her elbow ever so slightly, somewhat guiding her, holding her whenever
they would cross the streets and when the ground was slightly drenched.
Silently, so carefully, she tried to cease his hand from letting go, trying to enfold
hers for just a second but he had abruptly released his hold when he realized what she
was doing (though she was sure that she felt him tremble).
(And how she loved those dainty raindrops lingering on his face)
Stop staring at me.
Oh. Sorry.
She knew that she was lucky, very lucky indeed that she could get this close to
him. (She really thought that it was destiny that played the part on the first day she met
himand how the simple remarks he gave her broke her heart.) But his surly words
never mattered to her.
For as long as he was there, frowning or mad or annoyedshe would always
love him. And she knew that she was important to him too.
And she shouldnt be feeling sad because she could always ask for him.
Now and then too.
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So, can we do this again?
No.
Some other time then
There would be none.
I have faith.
Youre annoying.
Thank you.

I love you.

I love you Sasuke-kun.

Stop talking nonsense.
I want to. And its not
Shut up now.
Ifine.

Well see if there would be another time.

When?
Someday.
Sasuke-kun I
Someday.

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Alright. Whatever your definition of someday is then.

RedCarpet
Seven stars out of eight
He finally reached his limit.
Shoving heavy books and a few garments from his closet to the open leather
suitcase on his linen bed, he realized there was nothing that could stop him from doing
the inevitable: dropping out of this project for good. The repercussions of breaching
contracts and angry hordes of crew and staff could all go to hell, and he wouldnt even
care to grace them with a single thought.
Crumpling the pages of the newly illustrated story boards, he then hurled them
to the waste basket. After the satisfying throw, his fisted hands searched for the next
thing he felt the need to destroy. Finally, after mulling it over for a second in front of the
trash can, he impulsively decided that the crappy script was next.
But then, his hand paused when he realized that the page bore cross outs marked
by fresh ink of a thick black scribble pen, unreadable with the blots of rain and salt water.
And underneath the scrawl were handwritten words, almost indiscernible.
She should just spit it out. Tell him straight to his face that she loves him, because its her
last chance.
memoir
It was another day for the ever-vibrant four year old Sakura.
A pair of wide eyes shaded in refreshing green stared, truly enamored at the
strange, complicated thing in front of her. Her mystified irises reflected the myriad of
hues mixed, matched, and molded with assorted living people moving in such a tiny
world, flashing to her quickly from a seemingly impenetrable glass window. Melodious,
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tinkling sounds continued to trickle out from the small speaker, as a generic male voice
rattled out words she could hardly understand.
She had never been so intrigued and hypnotized as she was with this contraption
her father just bought. Even her parents were fascinated with watching the monotonous
droning of the closed box since their pilgrimage to their cozy living room was now done
every night.
But then, before she left this morning with a large porcelain plate of pink mochi
as peace offering to her loud best friend-slash-neighbor, she stood unmoving in the center
of the low-ceiled roomher gaze transfixed at the stirring sight.
It was an old, faded memory, almost like a photograph soaked in monochromes
and blurring sepia, buried hundreds of feet under the plethora of thoughts and nostalgia,
but she knew it all started there.
She remembered the dimpled smiles and dappled sunshine, the lullabies that
tasted like sweetened lemonade. It was like an ethereal, magical placeglorified by her
befuddled, childlike mindthat seemed to float with chocolate drops for pears and
peppermints for their canopy leaves. A welcoming field of golden marigolds and bright
sunflowers filled the wide expanse, of birch branches filled with creeping vines for seats.
She could remember a couple of lines, some bars of the simple melody colliding to
emulate a playful summer afternoon.
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Slowly dredging through memory, her mind could only recall tiny details: a
pretty woman who stood over her boys with a glowing smile, the gentle lines tenderly
curved while cruising along the stone-cobbled path on a bike or chasing a fluttering
yellow butterfly.
However, there was that silent small kid, who was humming at first in the
background. He only joined in at the start of the chorus with a beatific, boyish grin. His
small arms were spread, while running towards his mom for a hug, or tackling his older
brother to the ground in a fit of high-pitched laughter.
At that moment, no matter how unexplainable it was, her young, young
crystallized candy heart melted into chewy caramels. He was really, really more
captivating than any doll she had ever seen, and she couldnt suppress the giggles that
came out from her unexpectedly.
Soon enough, she was startled and nearly tripped on the red felt when a peal of
laughterwarm like butterscotch cookiesbroke through the oneiric haze of her
fantasies. As her cherubic cheeks were brushed with a crimson tint, the petite tyke ran out
of the door with a mortified squeak as matronly chuckles continued to echo through her
flaming ears.
origins
Theyre all dead.
There were haunted screams, squelching sounds of viscera, and flesh being torn
apart. Iridescent flares of crimson blended with the scattered faces on the cream hued
walls.
Then, there were grumblescoming from a seemingly depressed girl sitting in a
cornerthat dissolved beneath the thrums of an evil background music.
Definitely, Ino pondered for a while as the young dark-haired actor on screen
now walked sinisterly, twelve years with Sakura shouldve been enough to be able to
comprehend the cognition under that thick mop of pink hair.
Forehead, honestly, weve watched this for the fifteenth time. I swear; the
creeps finally wore off on me now.
Shut Her companion paused to inhale through her mouth because of a
stuffed nose. up, boar.
Come on, you even know the lineswait, are you
But they are coming. He spoke in dull tones, unnatural in that faded moonlight
and the darkness of her small bedroom. Both of them huddled on the popcorn-infested
mattress, and youll die
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Then, the screen suddenly blacked out.
And so, Sakura burst out a howl.
What the hell was that for, you stupid boar!
Ino merely flipped the lights on.
Sakura squinted at the abrupt onslaught of fluorescent light that flooded the
room and quickly grabbed the blanket to hide the tear tracks on her face.
Just so you know With her hands on her lanky hips, she gracefully strode
forward like she wasnt wearing a mismatched pair of large yellow shirt and violet PJs.
youre watching a horror movie. She then picked up the case featuring a single
pinwheel and snake eyes staring under the chilling fonts of Pinwheel. Youre crying.
Somethings definitely wrong with you
But her infuriated tirade stopped in lieu of her astonishment when Sakura,
vehemently dug her hand beneath her large pillow, managed to pick up a thick glossy
magazine and shoved it to Ino.
Read.
And because Ino was more surprised than indignant to oppose the command, she
obeyed. Scanning the text swiftly, her eyes stopped when she reached the reason behind
all the melodrama.
Oh.
Ino, realizing her mistake, tossed the magazine to the messy swamp of their
math homework in fear of being ripped to shreds by those already shaking fingers. Im
really sorry.
A hoax. Its just a hoax! I cant freaking believe it!
But dear, she said, placing a soothing hand over the hunched, quivering back,
trying to sympathize with her devastated friend, its a respected magazine that probably
cost you half of your lunch money, not some tabloid
And with that, Haruno Sakura swerved angrily, looking distraught on top of her
mattress. He cant just leave it all behind! Hes really
Hey, slow down! Breathe!
getting popular! I mean, he might not have achieved the same international
awards like his brother did, but hes a very well acclaimed actor here. Hes
You dont need to get so worked up on this, Forehead.
But I dont want him to leave! In a rush, Sakura stood up. Her feet, clad in a
pair of wooly dark burgundy socks, kicked at every scattered article of clothing and
paraphernalia on the floor as she scrambled clumsily towards the discarded pile of papers
inside a drawer.
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See? See? I was working on this! There was no mistake in that pride in her
voice. He has always wanted to play something more mature than his age. Im writing
this screenplay for his
You do know. Ino frowned. That hes not going to act anymore.
I dont care! And after a stubborn huff, she gave her most determined face,
eyes gleaming like presiouc emeralds. Ill chase after him if I have too.
Ino groaned; face connecting with her palm in a loud slap. Stalker.
Nope, Sakura corrected with an optimistic, saucy smile. An avid fan.
With Sakuras legs sprawled in the middle of the littered mass of tin coffee cans,
empty green tea pocky boxes and the wrinkled polyester cot, Ino laughed so hard she
could hardly make her words discernable as she dropped her head to snuggle on the
comfortable pillows.
Youre hopeless, Sakura!
And because Ino was too busy swallowing her chortles, she didnt notice the
fresh stains of teardrops that blotted the pages enclosed in those trembling arms.
glimpse
Hey!
The sole occupant of the gloomy unit merely ignored her, opting to bury her
head in the quagmire of that wide messy table.
Forehead, hello?
Fingers that were almost dipped in an inkwell hovered over a black keyboard.
Carefully, they froze for a while, a mere silhouette against the gray backdrop of a rainy
windowpane and the glaring monitor. The hand then waved in greeting towards her.
I thought youll be out of town for a couple of auditions?
Trying too hard not to tumble forward as she nearly stepped on the hem of her
long skirt with her needle-like stilettos; the young blonde snapped her head up in
surprise, flaxen strands tumbling down her exposed shoulders. How did you know that?
I thought youre cooped up in this place?
You were dressed to impress. Sakura pointed to the window in front of her
with an amused smile then tapped those stained nails on the cheek while twirling on her
rotating chair. Ino noticed that this relaxed woman, again, used those two silly
strawberry-baby hairpins on those bubblegum bangs. And you always wear my old
chandelier dangles whenever you want to look lovely.
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Its a waste to let such heirlooms collect spiders and dust. Pouting her
burgundy painted lips, Ino cleared the desk with one sweep of a clean, beautifully
manicured hand, not minding the hissed watch your big butt! and sat demurely at the
edge of the table. And you should go out more. Like go to the beach, perhaps?
First, earrings and overalls dont look good together. With an irritated huff,
Sakura pointed her pen towards Ino in disdain. Second, no. Im stuck right now, okay?
Ive been inquiring K.H. Entertainment, but they still said that all possible staff positions
were already taken
Well, Sakura. Ino sighed as she gave a knowing stare, a twitch on the end of
her lips. You know that it wont be easy to get into that huge production.
I know, Sakura retorted as she furrowed her brows in contemplation. But I
have to try right?
The blonde knew what she was talking about. Haruno Sakura was already two
decades old and yet nothing really changedexcept that spunk and the tendency to vex
her often. This two-inches shorter friend of hers still hated her wide, dazzling brow and
was still close-minded about one thing, er, goal.
Cornflower eyes rolled in aggravation. Dont you have anything better to do?
You were already offered the position of script supervisor in a hit drama last month.
But, I heard that hes coming back! And now, after all the worldwide honors he
garnered for his independent films. There was that fanatical glint that Ino found really
familiar. You know that Ive been trying to get into the production team for months!
Its a mature romantic comedy, Sakura. You dont like to write romances.
Well, he hates them too!
And here came Sakura with her know-it-all tone. Well, it was more of because
she had memorized about a thousand facts about Uchiha Sasuke.
Yamanaka Ino would admit, probably in a drunken stupor, that she had once
thought that the failure of an actor, who turned out to be an exceptional director, was hot.
But Ino quickly changed her fickle mind when Sakura blurted out that he loved tomatoes;
and because he was the most arrogant man she had ever
No, Sakura would know in time.
I mean, it was a surprise when he actually agreed to direct this movie. He likes
to work alone, or do low-budget films. His comfort zone is bound by assorted political
and social conundrums. Sakura, unfortunately, didnt realize the lapse of silence. Then,
he suddenly agrees to this local, big-budget film, more so a romantic comedy? I wonder
what hes thinking.
Because youre constantly babbling nonsensical stuff again, I shall attempt to
change this discussion. Deftly recognizing that black rectangular thing sticking out
behind the monitor, Ino picked up the remote from a protesting Sakura and pressed the
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red button, pointing it towards the distant television with a firm grin. I think we should
watch some news.
Theres no news during Saturday afternoons! There was a struggle to get the
remote out of her grasp. I dont want to watch, I want to concentrate on my work!
Youre working on that again? Ino suppressed the urge to tease Sakura, her
snickers loud enough to drown out the sounds of an advertisement.
Whats wrong with it? Sakura furiously defended as she gripped the
haphazardly collected and stapled papers, pulled open her drawer, thrust it deep inside
that spacious lair and locked it back in place. I want to write, you know. So turn it off,
will you?
Shh, I really want to listen, Sakura
You and your disgusting grapevine gossips, pig!
Now for more scoop, the woman who sat with a calm air spoke confidently,
Therere many speculations about who will get the role of the female lead for Make-
out!, the most anticipated film of the year. Many assume it will be Karin Hoi
Slut, both of them commented immediately.
Shes a real pain to work with. Ino grimaced and that alone spoke volumes.
But she really has a great body, you know? I bet thats why Suigetsu-san
tolerates her, Sakura quipped with a grin. Besides, in your agency, she has an
impressive
Just listen, alright?
has never been his forte. The executive producer of the film has confirmed
that Uchiha Sasuke has signed the contract and will start working two days from now for
the adaptation of the novel. Everyone is, of course, second guessing
Isnt Kakashi-sensei his manager when he was starting
Shh, youre going to miss the good part.
but the truth is, they have finally cast the roles to new talents. And it seems
that a certain Yamanaka, recommended by the Senju Model Agency
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But Sakura already stopped listening, or refused to look at the profile image that
was flashed in front of them, as she practically shrieked at its real living counterpart
while lividly pointing a rude index finger.
YOU LIAR! YOU DIDNT TELL ME
Imagine, Big Brow, Ino sneered, what would you do if ever you went with
me in a time-consuming audition? And you didnt ask where I was going, you idiot.
But, but, Ino-chan!
Yes, darling. Ino pretended not to notice the wounded puppy stare being
directed at her with its full intensity.
Please? The question was quivering, imploring and pitiful.
Please, what?
Take me there! Ill give you my room, my sparkly clothes and
She suddenly halted when Ino grabbed her black tote bag on her powdered
shoulders, shoved a piece of fancy paper to those pleading, clenched hands and smiled.
Whats the use of being a lead star There was a smirk. If I cant have my
own slave?
Because that card stated that Haruno Sakura must report to work, four oclock in
the morning on Monday, to start as a set productions assistant on Uchiha Sasukes first
ever shoot in Japan.
paradise
Time-check, she nervously breathed.
It was 2:59 AM as the large digital clock on the counter blinked sporadically.
She was approximately two hours earlier than the call time.
Sakura could feel the nerves jitter since she overestimated the arrival of her
colleagues. But that was expected of her, right? Production assistants, first-entry level
jobs, were supposed to be early to prepare sets and coordinate with the place managers
and assistant directors.
She stood anxiously in the middle of a Mediterranean-styled hotel lobby,
seemingly lost. There wasnt even a single recognizable crew inside the homely abode of
the inn.
For the last thirty minutes, there were a couple of bell boys wearing flowery
polo shirts because of the resorts tropical theme, or some bystanders who were also
waiting to peek at the film location, but still, no one arrived.
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With great difficulty, after an additional fifteen minutes, she summoned up her
courage to ask the manager if this, indeed, was the place that Hatake Entertainment had
reserved. The congenial manager merely assured her that, yes, she was indeed at the
right inn.
She then inquired about the duration of the filming, the number of extras
allowed, if the backyard lot was already prepared for about sixty travel trailers, and
when the hotel restaurant would start serving blueberry pancakes for an early breakfast.
While now chewing on a piece of orange, which one of the informants had
generously provided, Sakura pondered on the exhausting whirlwind of events that took
place ever since she received her ticket to Okinawa a day before.
As fate would have it, that smug pigs obvious hints for a sea escapade seemed
plausible. Too much excited for that blondes own good, Ino bought her a two-piece
navy denim swim wear after they did their emergency Sunday afternoon shopping in lieu
of the current occasion.
She didnt know why Ino did such a nice thing for her, since Sakura never wore
anything this skimpy at work, except those murky overalls during her internship. But she
knew this wear would be very convenient considering the inevitable chores she would do
as a P.A.
She owed Ino a lot of things, so working as her personal assistant could be a sort
of payment for this huge debt.
Though, she still wore a modest berry printed tunic shirt over the blue bikini,
accentuating the thick, snug jersey swim shorts and her light razzmatazz-colored flip-
flops.
3:16 in the morning. Where the hell were the others?
Fidgeting as she stood alone beside the information counter, beryl eyes scanned
the lobby again. Nope, nobody from the production staff was here. There were only two
people in the room: her awkward frame and a man who was sitting alone on the rattan
couches sipping a warm can of coffee.
Come to think of it, she arrived at exactly 2:42 and he was just opening his drink
back then.
From the periphery of her sight, Sakura tried to be discreet in observing him.
She couldnt even see the shade of his hair, hidden beneath a flat charcoal-hued cap. He
sat silently on the couch like a marble effigy.
Curious, Sakura side-stepped to get a good look at this stranger.
She quickly gave a quick rundown of his features while maintaining a good,
respectable distance away: he was wearing a cool, roll-up button down shirt, clean
slacks, a pair of leather sandals, and an open, untwined scarf on his neck. And by the set
of his shoulders, she could easily deduce that he was lanky. He was wearing large smoky
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quartz sunglasses, making half of his faade impenetrable to the naked eye. But his spine
was rigidly straight, as if he didnt want to relax, reclined against the sagging green
velour couch.
He must be an actor. Or a model, with such expensive clothes which seemed like
he could wear them without sweating in the middle of June.
Maybe, he was part of the cast? Yes, yes. It could be. He did dress like he
wanted to hide his face.
Was he famous?
With this transient idea coming up unexpectedly, Sakura prompted to set her
best composure and walked towards him.
He stiffened.
A hollering call from outside the doors jolted her stride.
Haruno!
Mitarashi Anko came bounding inside the premises with a huge white AD
printed on her large black shirt and on top of her recognizable dark visor hat. Kid, you
shouldve called us if youre already here! Her admonition certainly made Sakuras
kneecaps wobble. Have you checked the room reservations?
Yes, Mitarashi-sensei, Sakura hurriedly replied, scampering outside where a
phalanx of assorted crew and vehicles were parked on the coast line. Room 69 has the
best view.
Here. Thrusting out a couple of thick folders to the bewildered aid, Anko
continued to rattle on, These are the schedules for each actor, including Yamanaka-
sans shifts and breaks. Deliver them later when the others arrive at eight, understand? If
someone complains, contact me here.
She was then handed a big walkie talkie.
Any questions? Hurry up and you still have to prepare three set of clothes.
Well begin by mid-day.
Sakura could only nod in affirmative as another bark of orders was said. And
apparently, that was what she could merely do for the next hour and thirty minutes with
the assistant director snapping at her for errands.
Call the transportation to make sure the grips arrive by four.
Art department here? Check if they have the tarpaulin. Ill go there; arrange
where to set it.
Yes, Mitarashi-sensei!
Notify the caterers for everyones lunches. Pick them up at 11!
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Will do!
Wheres my dango? Haruno!
With lots of sweet sauce, Mitarashi-sensei.
Where are the freaking props men? They shouldve prepared the hut!
Already in progress, Mitrashi-sensei!
With her aching feet and her taut calves almost cramping, Sakura contemplated
about the current scenario. If she got another
Haruno, her radio cracked again, after counting 87 rapid heartbeats. Three
C-stands, bring it to the lobby, now.
With that, she went inside the large metal truck, had a little tussle with the
equipments while talking animatedly to the people-in-charge, and came bustling out with
three heavy rods on her shoulder.
As she briskly galloped on the sand and finally went again inside, she nearly
tripped when the clock showed that it was already quarter to 8:00.
She shouldve noticed the stray light tendrils from the awakened sun to filter her
befuddled mind, but she was too tired to even care about beautiful sunrises, especially
when she was so sure her brain was this close to exploding and be smeared like paint
over the walls.
And as the heavy pipe-like stands seemed to double its weight upon her clavicle,
Sakura placed them on a nearby potted shrub, and then leaned her throbbing skull on a
pillar.
Ten seconds, she piteously begged to herself, just a ten-second break is enough.
With her half-lidded eyes and her soft pants, she noticed something weird.
Eight seconds left.
He didnt move from his spot?
Confused that he was sitting calmly in the middle of a frantic, bustling manic
team, Sakura knew she had to keep him away from the work area at least. His presence
might be intimidating, but it was as if he was waiting for something.
Glancing around if Mitarashi-sempai would actually appear out of nowhere to
scold at her, she then proceeded to approach him.
Hey?
The man didnt stir from his seat.
Was he sleeping?
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Were going to shoot here in about forty-five minutes, she whispered, trying
to be as polite as possible. If you want, I can
Her radio buzzed.
To all available PAs, call Hatake at 8918355 and ask when Uchiha-taicho will
arrive.
Wait. Silently cursing Anko, she shoved her hands in her pocket to grab her
phone. Got it
And sea green irises widened in wonder, her palms became clammy cold and her
breath shallow, when the man stood up fluidly. Her full attention was captivated by the
mantall, straight, beautiful. The sunlight shone behind him, creating a soft backlight,
giving an illusionary halo that accentuated his intimidating presence.
Sakura was still engrossed with his visage, when she suddenly couldnt see a
thing.
A hat was plopped on her head, obscuring her sight.
Miffed, she raised the cap a little bit to see that the mysterious stranger, still
wearing his smoky glasses, grabbed his own radio, and proceeded to talk.
Mitarashi, set four, a smooth, clear voice spoke, we proceed to scene
eighteen.
Blinking dazedly, her mind processed what he just said.
Proceed to scene eighteen? Sakura managed to say without stuttering, though
it was weakly spoken. Bu-but
But that pig isnt here yet! Sakura thought in panic, as she did her roll calls at
the announcement.
Forehead, you here?
The lead actress finally came in, already wearing her shaded mauve plunging
top, with lips glossed to a perfect finish, and a ready, confident smile in the most alluring
manner.
Sakura had never envied her best friend, but right now, there was no way she
could ever outshine Ino. Surely, surely, the blonde would catch the eye of thatthat,
whoever that strange man was
Kzzt.
Damn all technology!
Haruno, have you set up the C-stands? The focus puller needs them
immediately. And since youre already on set four, assist Uchiha-kaichou. If Yamanaka
and Sai are there, guide them to the dressing rooms
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As her superior continued to drone instructions at her hip, Sakura stared.
Forehead?
Insistent pokes were trying to wake her from her trance.
She looked at Ino, now with terrified eyes, while trying to suppress the urge to
flail wildly in embarrassment. Because she was an idiot who couldnt even recognize her
own
Uchiha Sasuke now blankly stared at her.
Automatically, every visible patches of skin of her head, to her nape, and to the
points of her ears turned to an erubescent shade, rampantly spreading like a wild fire. She
ducked her mortified face, hardly suppressing the gleeful eyes under her rose locks as she
tugged a protesting Ino towards the powder room.
But everyone knew what that glance meant.
Their director was pissed off.
violence
Kakashi sauntered inside a private, well-furnished caravan one unsuspecting
Friday morning. He didnt forget to enthusiastically greet the glaring young protg of
his, or to explain why he was three days late.
I got lost here, he said while chuckling, successfully ignoring the deathly glare
that was figuratively stabbing him from behind. Because the road of life
Kakashi knew that his precious director wouldnt listen to his idle talk, so he
remained unfazed even as Sasuke walked quickly forward.
However, he raised a black-grey eyebrow when he saw his younger
companions eyes swerved to the right, then, glanced to the left when they arrived at a
corner.
Sasuke did it surreptitiously, with the smallest inclination of his head to the wall
and the swiftest of glances at each side of the lavish hotel hall.
But it was a futile attempt to deceive Kakashi.
Are you nervous or something?
Sasuke continued to walk, resuming his usual poise.
As a production director, and also a humble CEO of an exclusive film industry,
Kakashi had always trusted his instincts when dealing with this stubborn Uchiha. He
couldnt help but wonder what made this fearless, unfeeling man be afraid of his own
stage.
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As a fond uncle of the obstinate prodigy, he always said that Sasukes technical
skills were astounding. But he had never made a film that wasnt philosophical, or
intellectually challenging.
He wanted something more passionate, in short, from Sasuke.
He did not care if he used blackmail and coercion to get the twenty-four year old
filmmaker to approve, had a movie adaptation of the best-selling erotica as the project,
hired his godson Lee as the chief screenplay writer, took the androgynous, emotionless
actor Sai as the lead, and employed a lot of talented but truly naive greenhorns as the
main crew.
Right now, as they proceeded to the studio for the promotional photoshoot, he
wondered if there were nights when Sasuke would want to scamper out of this mess.
As soon as they had stepped inside the entrance, an irate Uchiha froze in front of
him.
To his surprise, the whole set was already finished and was pretty silent, except
for that mellifluous humming.
And for some unexplainable reason, the usually impassive expression of Sasuke
was replaced by a glowering stare and a deep scowl as he watched that jittery young
woman ecstatically humming the soft notes.
One of the propsmen, Tenten, greeted the recognizable bright tuft of pink as it
bobbed up and down while busily typing on her mini white laptop.
Hey, thats pretty, Tenten said enthusiastically as she approached the now
attentive set worker, who looked up from the monitor. What song is it?
"
2
Look at me, mom," Sakura, in response, sang instead in a soft lifting voice, the
chiming lyrics definitely heard clearly inside the studio, "Shining like the sun."
If Uchiha Sasuke was capable of looking horrified, this must be it: he was as still
as a statue. And if you looked more closely, there was a glimpse of a dark vein pulsing
angrily on his clenched knuckles.
"Bright as the day." Alto, dulcet tones maintained its rhythmic melody as the
lyrics flowed like water. "You're my number one."
And surely, surely, Kakashi thought, in the midst of the hilarious situation, they
could hear that very silent growl emanating from the one beside him.
But the oblivious assistant didnt even know they were there, nor even realized
that the others had recognized the song: Neji, one of the supporting actors, couldnt
suppress a growing smirk, while Naruto, a guest, was now whooping a cheer.
Sakura suddenly stopped, much to the relief of the fuming director.
I forgot whats next. And she playfully stuck her tongue out and scratched her
head sheepishly.
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However, Sakura underestimated the popularity of that little ballad.
"And there's no treasure that," Naruto suddenly busted out in a high-pitched,
baby voice while waving his tanned arms in a gesture so ridiculously like a kid, "I will
cherish"
"like you," trilled Kakashi, leaving the prissy man behind with his arms open
wide as if expecting a big hug.
Just like what the four-year old toddler named Uchiha Sasuke did during his
first ever appearance on camera: a commercial for a babys milk, along with Mikoto and
Itachi twenty years ago.
Uzumaki-senpai? Sakura blinked, with her feet nearly tripping on the
scattered cable wires. Hatake-san?
Continue, Haruno. With an encouraging tone, Kakashi supplied the next
words, And when I smile
Some of the younger helpers were looking perplexed why that cheerful song had
made a profuse amount of homicidal aura dribble coldly in the room.
"And when I smile." She tapped her cheek with a finger, like she was imitating
that boy with those endearing smiles. "They all see you glow. And they all know.
And the blissful blue-collared worker was unaware of the ominous wicked feel
coming from that now grown individual, her back exposed to the angry Uchiha.
Youre my number one."
And before she even hit the last notes, Sakura was already swarmed with
questions.
You know that song? Thats very old school, man! Naruto ran towards her,
with those huge blue eyes and that infectious grin making Sakura step back in
astonishment.
You have quite a memory. Kakashi patted her small head, ruffling the short
tresses affectionately. Its really useful for writers who trained under Tsunade, right?
You have an impressive resume. And Naruto, he uttered, now turning a stern eye to the
very famous talk show host, what are you doing in my set?
For an inside scoop, of course. And I cant believe that bast He then warily
eyed the ladies. I mean, hes making a romance movie. Of course, everyone wants to
know the cast! Where is he anyway? I just saw him when you came in.
What? Her slightly tanned face turned pale.
Yeah, Uzumaki-san spoke with a robust laugh. He was staring at you, but
looked like he ate a rotten tomato or something. Half-constipated
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Sakura didnt even let him finish. With a horrified expression, she sprinted out
of the makeshift studio to the supposed direction where Kakashi came from.
"What was that about?" Naruto inquired in befuddlement, bewildered at the
girls look of utter dread.
"Childhood traumas, I believe," Kakashi merely supplied with a sage-like tone,
too giddy to add more.
tactics
I deeply apologize, Uchiha-kaicho!
Kakashi, and the rest of the higher-ups of the crew, was flummoxed during the
late afternoonwhile they were munching their pre-packed lunches of tomato-filled rice
balls inside the cold AC officeas Sakura did a graceful, formal bow in front of Uchiha
Sasuke outside their gathering cabana.
It was a full-body bend, complete with her hands firmly on her knees; her
cropped coral tresses masked her face like a curtain.
And if it werent for the fact that this certain Uchiha hated mortifying displays
of apologies, she wouldve kneeled with her knees together and touched her large brow to
the heat of the sand.
But instead of gracing her with a reply, Sasuke merely glanced at her and then
walked away, puffs of sand on his sandaled feet as he headed towards the open door.
Ill do anything, Uchiha-taicho! the poor girl cried out, still unmoving.
She was waiting with bated breath when the director stopped mid-step from his
tracks. And because Sakura wasnt looking at himstill maintaining that perfect straight
posture with her eyes closed, her form abject in deep remorseshe didnt see that
amused smirk.
Youre annoying.
He then left, as Sakura suddenly straightened her spine and mouth agape in
surprise, as if she was actually ecstatic that he talked to her. It didnt even matter if those
first two words he directed at her were
Well start scene ten, now! one of the Ads finally called out, but Haruno
didnt register any of it. Tetsuya, Junko and Akira, please, on standby! Haruno, take
Yamanaka toHaruno!
Thats harsh, dont you think, Sasuke? Kakashi spoke with a warning, as the
director went back to his seat and started on his untouched meal.
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However, there was a slight hesitation before he continued to bite his second
rice ball. No one noticed, but that one gesture spoke volumes.
And Kakashi knew that this could only spawn something interesting.
***
It seemed that Sakura became enslaved with guilt to the point that it manifested
into something that haunted the whole set during the following days. Each of the crew
could hear the successive imsorryimsorryimsorrys that echoed through every nook and
cranny as Sakura hounded every step that Uchiha-taicho took.
Im sorry.
She said while giving the newly drafted scripts to Sasuke, who simply accepted
them and resumed scanning the paper.
Im sorry.
This was accompanied by a hot coffee, which Sasuke unceremoniously took and
drank calmly with an approving raise of his eyebrow, but he didnt even look at her as he
sipped at its dark rim.
Im truly!
It was a never ending muttering of apologies, as Sakura folded the directors
collapsible chair and then carried it while Sasuke strode towards the next set.
Really!
And this, much to the entertainment (sympathy) of everyone, persisted even
though Sasuke kept giving her the cruel, cold silent treatment.
Sorry!
But amazingly, she still managed to assist the crew (someone call the technician
to fix the wires! where are the bolts? bring in more reels), performed her duties
(nobodys allowed to enter the premises, cameraaction!), and managed to escort their
director or provide his needs no matter how little or impertinent they were (here are the
ripe tomatoes Uchiha-taicho.).
It perhaps lasted for a week, before a perplexed Kakashi thought to pry. It
wouldnt hurt if he poked his nose in these matters, right?
Besides, Sakura never knew, but a mad Sasuke usually entailed a vindictive
response. A mystified Kakashi also knew that an irritated Sasuke wouldnt usually
tolerate these ridiculous antics. Most of the time, the unmerciful Uchiha would say
cutting remarks and ensure that the hapless victim would just quit the job from the sheer
pressure and abuse.
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So considering Sasukes apathetic behavior towards Sakuras inexorable
attempts to get his forgiveness for her deplorable conduct on that amusing morning,
Kakashi could only reach one conclusion:
Do you want a personal assistant? I thought you hated
He opened the door and stepped on the floor, but nearly stumbled and skidded
clumsily on the slippery waxed surface until he luckily gripped the steel door handle for
balance.
them. Besides, didnt I suggest assistants for you? And is it just me, or is
your trailer really this clean? I swear, I can see it sparkling.
As he took a deep sigh, he inhaled a fresh scent of apple perfumes instead of the
familiar whiff of sandalwood that usually permeated the Uchihas quarters.
The script supervisor isnt satisfied with the current draft. Kakashi sat and let
his arms lounge on the leather couch, idly reading the mutilated script with a single
scrutinizing eye. I didnt think I gave enough budget for one more screenwriter? Or is
this a proofreader? Whoever he is, he practically erased the whole death defying mush in
this thing. Which is rather good
You approved the script, Kakashi.
And youre not a flower-vase-on-my-windowsill person.
Now, that was one very interesting frown from Sasuke. It was more of an
irritated-puzzled look than an angry-puzzled one.
Huh, daffodils. And because Kakashi was luckily wearing a large cashmere
turtleneck to hide his grin, he then proceeded, I heard daffodils are for the romantics.
Symbolically, theyre like persistent females who continue to face the harshest blaze of
the winter, patiently waiting, without bowing
Hn. Sasuke took the sheaves of the script and was about to throw it outside the
window, if Kakashi hadnt caught it before it even grazed the air outside the trailer.
That deleted scene is, yes, gauche. Very tacky! But that line is really touching!
Imagine Junko offering a bunch of flowers to her prince whos in continuous denial!
Not necessary, Sasuke insisted, he meant that no further arguments would be
discussed.
Now, Lee wouldnt really mind if his entire script was thrown to the
incinerators, but why the sudden changes?
And Kakashi was truly, truly bothered when Sasuke merely evaded the question
with that well-practiced cold shoulder and a threatening get-out-or-die glare.
But of course, if there was one thing that Kakashi took pride in, it was his keen
observation. If he put two and two together, he could easily guess who delivered the
scripts to the whole crew, and had the time to mess with the directors copy.
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So with that in mind, the eccentric thirty-year old stood and retreated by
jumping out the large window.
***
One night, two hours before early dawn, Kakashi walked on the stretching white
sand, wanting to savor the feel of the damp morn-evening breeze with its salted taste. He
strolled on the low cement wall, holding the chain of Pakkuns collar with his right hand
while reading the latest edited script of scene 42 beneath the scanty moonlight, where
Junko attempted to intoxicate herself
There was Sakura, sitting on the set hammock in between two towering coconut
trees, hands in the air, face flushed in happiness as she swung the coarsely woven rattan
like a swing. Her apparel was drenched while a towel was draped over her shoulders as if
she had just finished a swim and was now preparing for a good nights rest outside. Her
short hair whipped gently along the warm summer breeze.
He knew Sakura was always the last one to leave the set. It was nothing unusual
since other PAs had done that too.
But it was surprising that no sign of fatigue was obvious on her carefree actions
as she continued to blabber alone. She was probably ranting a long, unintelligible
monologue, indistinguishable amidst the soft roars of crashing waves, the muted glare of
the monitor enlightening a bit of her lively features.
And there was Sasuke, cautiously standing three yards away from her. He was
clearly not inclined to approach her, since it would be awkward to disrupt the womans
prattle. But the fact that the Uchiha was there, apparently interested at whatever she was
doing, spoke more than a thousand images.
And on the eight day, Sakura was just being her usual self while arranging the
scattered frame boards on the table and encrypting the newly scheduled shifts for their
director in the midst of a busy afternoon.
Everyone in the vicinity expected Sasuke would stay indifferent to her existence,
not minding that she was already shutting off her tiny PC.
But to their surprise, he paused, turned to the self-assigned subservient
personnel of his, and nearly touched her shoulder with a steady hand
If only Sakura hadnt swerved her head, astonished at first, then quickly turned
into that pleading look while uttering another sincere, Sorr
His hand, a mere blur to the naked eye, retreated to his side.
Thank you. Sasuke slanted his chin to a slight nod, and left her befuddled and
speechless.
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make-out
Uchiha Sasuke was never late.
It was already 10:50 PM to be exact, and everyone was shivering due to the
light, freezing drizzle that rained upon their heads and colorful parasols. The glaring
spotlights were all still lit, almost flooding the whole coast with a bright, blinding light.
Beside her, Ino chattered her teeth, wearing a thick raincoat over her thin bikini.
Those skinny arms were wrapped around her own shivering frame, while standing beside
Sakura under her dark green umbrella.
Sakura, where is he?
Who, ah, Hyuuga-san? Hes drying his hair
No, idiot, she angrily snapped. Chicken-butt.
With a jerk, Sakura started. How should I know?
Youre practically his assistant for the past few days.
Eh?
You should treat me to something once you get a raise, forehead, Ino
grumbled instead, as she continued to stare at the traces of raindrops, like small torn
meteors descending on the now damp sandy earth. They created crater-like and footstep-
shaped puddles, filling up with the murky waters for about two minutes until someone
finally called.
Scene 51, Junko and Tetsuya, get ready.
Soon enough, the whole personnel scampered to prepare for the shoot; kantoku-
san arrived with his impeccable appearance still intact despite the rain, but he was
emitting this kind of frustration that was palpable like the heavy downpour of the summer
rain.
What happened?
Everyone was asking the same thing, as the gargantuan overhead lights were in
place, the crane cameras were ready to roll, and he sat on his usual chair in front of the
monitor with his eyes almost boring large holes onto the screen.
Havent you heard?
Ears behind a curtain of bubblegum pink prickled.
On Swirly News, Naruto-kun announced that Itachi-kun just arrived from a
recent film festival. It seems he won an award and was now hired as the head editor of
this movie, maybe Uchiha-taicho
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Sakura didnt hear the full details though, since the checkered, white board
suddenly snapped, stupefying everyone in an uncomfortable tense atmosphere.
Take one, scene 51, action.
Ino now stood on the stand, her bare feet burrowing on the coarse clumps of
sand. It was absolutely what the audacious, mulish Junko felt: boiling with frustration;
with her lead actor Sai, both of them looking absolutely soaked right to their very own
freezing marrows.
The icy combination of rain and wind weakened her shivering body, and Ino
struggled to keep her lines from warbling.
This heart of mine would burst, an emotion so uncontrollable
Take three, scene 51, action!
Snap.
Consume me.
Take nine, scene 51, action!
Snap.
I cant hold it any longer.
Snap.
I love you with
Stop.
It was only after the tenth NG when he then said bitterly, One stupid line.
They were blunt yet cutting, clear yet low and he hissed in fury, You cant even
say a simple I love you.
Sakura had always dreamed to hear those words, which should be filed with
honey sparks and brownie nuts, from the gorgeous Uchiha Sasukebut now, she thought
she had never heard those three words uttered so maliciously.
Every tendon in her body coiled, her blood almost leaving her petite body. And
she felt the urge to cower but when she saw her best friends cornflower eyes brimming
with tears of aggravation, Sakura decided to step in.
How would you know?
Because even if she had devoted her life in chasing something impossibleto
even at least gain Sasukes notice, so that she could hopeshe would never let anyone
trample her idol, her best friend-almost-sister because of misplaced anger.
Its not something easy to say in front of
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You dont know anything. The condemning jeer intended to injure, his mouth
was grim, making her feel like she was lower than anything.
But
Know your place.
I dont care about where my place is! she shouted, her temper flaring.
Understand our own place! Weve been standing here waiting for you for hours!
The others merely watched with held breaths, expecting the terrifying Uchiha
Sasuke to say another scathing word. But then, he merely tore himself from his seat and
walked away.
Leaving fifty people behind, who stood unmoving with their mouths gaping in
confusion.
Sakura heard the loud bang of metal doors, sounding so ominous all over the
place, and couldnt help but sigh when there was an apparent fray inside. The sound of
things being scattered and of closets being emptied were unmistakable.
She should run after him. She should stop him.
But instead, her feet was rooted to the now empty set, she stayed with Ino, who
stared blankly at her feet with a defeated expression on her face. And Sakura felt her
heart sunk, slightly glad that the crew was gradually thinning, leaving them in the
comfort of the privacy they needed.
Help?
And Sakura gave her best smile, as she crossed her legs on the sand.
When you say this, it shouldnt sound like a declaration. It was never meant
to.
She closed her eyes, and imagined that he wasnt just a face on a screen, that he
was just an ordinary man. That the boy who shedare she say love? she doesnt know
was still there, had never lost his smiles that had caught her heart. A possibility that
maybe, maybe, she would see that again, a one-in-a-million chance in that reality.
It should be desperate. Because its true. Because he will never, ever believe
it.
She reached out to touch the side of Inos cheek, mind wandering to a different
skin, nearly transparent, more pallid than anything and as rough as the whitest granules of
sand
And she mouthed the words, too low for the tempestuous sky to hear, too soft
for Ino to understand why it hurt, why she was too afraid to speak them out. Because she
knew that all of them thought her actions were ridiculous, but this wasnt just some
silly
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Say that again.
He was there.
Turning around, there were his steely mercurial eyes. His hand was fisted over a
crumpled piece of paper, his unruly hair flat and stuck to his jaw.
But she knew him (he was not there because of guiltit was not because of
her), and it was unrealistic. She trembled, aware that she should obey his order, but how
could she say it to a man whom she only met, that she had always watched him from afar,
that she just wished
Junko still tried, didnt she?
So she said it, again.
It came out in a whisper, and she couldnt even take away the desperation from
her voice. But it was loud enough, despite the wailings of the sea.
I love you.
And the droplets of rain seemingly decelerated to a stop, the numbness
overpowering her senses. And Sakura remembered the rainbow smiles, and rainy
laughter, and snowy tears, and all that romantic clichs, and breaking hearts. She felt that
the whole world hush to catch that simple line, delivered earnestly in spite of her
drenched form and aching, burning muscles. That she wasnt acting, that there was no set,
no lights, and no foggy lenses. It was just him, him standing in front of her maladroit
form, flushed with fever, rasping throat, and that unexplainable scalding beneath her
eyes.
Yamanaka-san.
And the spell shattered at the sound of his deep voice calling out anothers
name.
...Yes?
Practice that delivery.
Of course.
And as Sakura realized that the tenuous snaps reverberated in her chest, she
knew that it was impossible.
***
Ino showed up with a box of sweet-scented tissues, entering the small cubicle
where assistant PAs were supposed to take their breathers. With a single glance, that darn
starlet said the first thing that made her wish the ground would just break open and
swallow her up.
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Sakura." Without the makeup and the usual cynicism from Ino, Sakura thought
her friend was absolutely gorgeous. Maybe this was the reason why she was so
undesirable, having a beautiful best friend. Youre so stupid.
"Am not. There was a deep intake of breath, shuddering and in near tears. She
tried not to sniff.
"Yes, you are." Though the blonde was pretty furious, the creases of worry were
apparent as she handed the pink-haired woman the patterned wipes for her snot. "I saw
what you did. You"
"I didnt confess, Sakura was absolutely livid, her throat strained as she
protested with a sharp yell, throwing another Cadbury wrapper to the trash bin."I was
trying to get...into the scene.
There was something comforting in Ino as she half-engulfed her in a one-armed
hug."It's supposed to be only some useless idolizing-worship thing. You just can't fall for
someone like him. You know that."
"I know." But how could she tell Ino that she just couldnt dictate her heart?
Maybe she was insane. The heart might know reasons that the reason may not, but there
was no reason in insanity. Maybe. There was no need to explain why. But its different.
"How do you know its different?" It was a recriminating statement. Sakura,
you'll get over this. This unhealthy obsession should stop, alright? It's not love. You
finally see what he is! That's why I thought"
"Is this why you brought me here?" Her usually mellifluous voice was now
garbled, punctuated with sniffles. But her accusations were true. To make me feel
stupid? To make me realize that?"
Perhaps. Ino only made a simple, little grin that told her she still belittled
her."Why do you even like him?"
"I don't," Sakura said truthfully, I dont.
Well, I better get going. Getting up, Ino added, Cheer up.
(youll forget about him soon enough.)
Shell be alright, guys. Sakura almost rolled her eyes, as the intended whisper
was a bit loud because of the silence that lingered outside.
The next day, everyone was quiet about the different feel in the air whenever the
lowly Haruno slave and the high and esteemed Uchiha were in the same room. Sakura
was trying her best to ignore him, not knowing that there were almost a gathering number
of eyes that spared her a glance. They stared longer at Sasuke, who was sitting tensely
while holding the run-through script, since the page he was reading remained unturned
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for an hour. All of them waited to catch him if he would acknowledge the presence of the
seemingly depressed woman.
It was too bad that the efforts of the whole staff were wasted. Sasuke was good in
sneaking glances.
end credits
And, cut! yelled their very robust clapper loader, he snapped the board with a
ringing finality, Thats a wrap!
Sakura finally disentangled the flimsy bandanna knot at the back of her head,
using the cloth to wipe the last remnants of perspiration. She then dusted off the sand
from her shirt as the crowd cheered and congratulated each staff with a job well-done.
Her soothe hands were grasped firmly by tens of other people, inviting her for a drink or
dinner to celebrate.
But she couldnt bring herself to answer anymore.
Naruto. She could hear Kakashis voice over the din of chatter. I know, were
already finished but
Hah, Im still in-charge of the promotional clips; so pay up with some ramen!
Then, as if remembering something, the blond added loudly, Sasukes interview will be
on air in about five minutes. I think he finally arrived earlier, hes probably in his trailer
resting for a while.
Should she?
She mentally scolded herself as she contemplated on mutilating her feet when
she found herself standing in front of a white door; the characters of kantoku taunted her
as its definite strokes were like a knife to her body.
It always never hurt to dream before, but she knew that it was because of it that
she lost sight of what actual things were; making her disillusioned that she could have a
chance.
Her fist was over the door, ready to knock.
She could hear his television buzz softly, making her realize that it wasnt
probably a good time to say something.
Come in.
Sakura stilled, but knowing that she had no way escaping now, she complied.
Pushing the sway door open, she entered the room. The lights were off, but she
could easily see his shadow outlined by the brightness of the screen, sitting on a single
recliner couch with that familiar cowlick contours defined so clearly.
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Uchiha-kaichou. Her voice was soft, trying to make this as formal and
detached as possible.Im really sorry about the other day and
Her feeble voice was overwhelmed by the ongoing conversation on the show, as
he amplified the volume.
I guess She sighed. I caught you in a bad time, Im sorr
Sakura.
She had always thought that her name was simple, generic, plain and
unnoticeable to the sea of glamour and prestige, among the millions of other souls who
could be more worth his notice. But when he said it in such a way, she felt a tremendous
rush of warmth, like those forgotten summer chimes that she used to listen to when she
drank bittersweet teas and ate oven-heated cakes.
Then, she finally noticed what the television was blaring about.
are your plans after the movie? Your brother was planning on working on
another movie, but is there
Wheres the script?
theres something that I want to see on film. But for once, I want to do it
Script? she said dazedly.
And she nearly felt his urge to roll his eyes, but she was confused at the way he
was expecting, waiting for something. I have an ambition and I dont plan
to leave it as a dream.
Sakura couldnt help but be mesmerized in awe, as he uttered that familiar
statement. It was the opening phrase of a fragment of an unread tale, written arbitrarily in
a moment of fervor, by some foolish little girl whose whole life hanged on high, high
tenterhooks and unrealized dreams. Youhow did you
He propped his arm over the head rest, slanted his head a bit as that single coal
iris looked at her.
Really?
And Sasuke-kun, as her traitorous mind tenderly called him, smirked.
Idiot.
He then turned his attention back to the small screen.
But his hand was there, open, and with a little ounce of bravery that she had and
with the slivers of tears in her green eyes, she closed the distance with one step, dug her
hand on his palm and held it as firmly as she could.
And as she felt his fingers clasped loosely over her whitened knuckles, she felt
that this was all she had ever wished for.
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Rockstar
Sasuke had wanted to be a rock star since he was three. He took guitar lessons,
bought himself instruments with his own money, wrote lyrics, trained his voice. He
perfected his brooding, badass image. He kept his hair spiky, his skin pale and
unblemished, his expression carefully stoic. His music was of the head-banging, screamo
variety. His clothes were black. He owned a leather jacket. All to make himself the
biggest rocker sensation sinceanyone.
That was why he so respected Kakashi, his agent who had found Sasuke,
strumming his acoustic guitar and singing under his breath on a bench at the park one
evening in the summer after high school ended. The (slightly) creepy, (mildly) eccentric,
(very) strange man had loped up to him, mask covering half his face, headband over one
dark eye, and said, My eardrums arent bleeding. Wanna make money, kid?
Sasuke had worked with him for the next three months, training and preparing
for his debut. He had left home, turned down his acceptance to his top-choice college,
and trekked across the country to wait with Kakashi for the day he would finally, finally
get to sing.
Never had he regretted his decision as much as when he got his chance.
You want me to be lead singer for a girl band?
Kakashi smiled, seeming very pleased with himself. Youve been waiting for
your debut, havent you? And bands get bigger fan bases than solo artists, anyway.
A girl band, Sasuke repeated, more slowly. As in, with females.
Dont be sexist, Sasuke, Kakashi chided. Theyre a very talented girl band.
Sasuke had to resist the urge to pull at his artfully messy spikes of hair. Kakashi
wasnt worth his beauty. Anyway, Kakashi had to be kidding.
Im not kidding, Kakashi said suddenly. Sasuke stared. God, but that was
creepy. Its all been cleared. All you need to do is sign the contract, and you can start
next week.
I dont want to sign the contract, Sasuke grumbled, folding his arms across his
chest.
I thought you wanted to be a singer.
I do.
I thought you loved music.
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Yeah, but
I thought you quit school, left your family and city and only friend to pursue
your passion.
I did, but this isnt
This is your big chance, Sasuke. Do you really want to let it go?

Didnt think so. Kakashi beamed. You can leave tomorrow morning. I have
your ticket all ready. First-class, too! When Sasuke continued to glower, Kakashi
reached out to pat his head condescendingly, which only served to make him scowl
harder. Dont look so down, Sasuke. Theyre all very pretty.
Yeah. Like that helped. His reputation was already going down the toilet.
Who are they, anyway?
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I believe they call themselves Kakashi coughed. He wouldnt look at
Sasuke, and he took that as a bad sign. The Konoha Winonas?
***
I hate our name, Sakura complained.
I hate your name, Karin said. I also hate your face, your voice, your hair, and
your existence.
Sakura gave her a very flat look, spat her wad of watermelon gum into her palm,
leaned over, and stuck it on Karins elbow.
Ew! she squealed, waving her arm until the still-wet gum fell off and to the
ground with a splat. Sakura, you freak!
Play nice, children, Temari sighed from her spot in the corner. She was
flipping through a magazine, looking very bored.
The three of them were waiting in their studio for their new lead singer,
scheduled to arrive some time in the next hour. The bands fourth member, Ino, had gone
to pick him and his agent up from the airport. Sakura and Karin, who couldnt stand each
other on the best of days, were only crankier when hungry, and poor Temari was left to
mediate their every interaction.
So it was really no wonder when Karin threw her guitar pick straight at Sakuras
forehead. Sakura narrowed her eyes, wadded up her sheet music into a ball, and threw it
at Karin.
Why dont you quit, then? We like actual talent.
Well then, you better get packing!
Talentless skank.
Spice Girls reject.
Sakura gnashed her teeth together, obviously trying to beor at least look
likethe mature one. Temari wondered, idly, why Karin was even in the band with
Sakura. They had always hated each other and, clearly, always would.
She didnt ponder for long, however, because Ino suddenly appeared through the
door at the far end of the room. She was wearing a face-splitting grin, which Temari
understood only after she had stepped aside to let in their new singer. Even Temari, who
had a fiance she loved very, very much couldnt keep her jaw from dropping. She had
never seen so perfect a specimen. Dark hair spiking up in the back, bangs falling into
equally dark eyes, contrasting with alabaster skin and high cheekbones. He wasnt
smilingactually, he looked downright pissedbut it worked for him. Behind him was
his agent, equally interesting to look at with his shock of gray hair and mask.
Temari turned to call for Sakura and Karins attention, but their screaming
match had escalated to the physical.
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Ugh, whore! Karin screeched, getting to her feet so she could kick at the legs
of Sakuras stool. Caught off-guard, Sakura had no chance to try and balance herself, and
she toppled over with a shriek.
Karin, you bi
Sakura broke off suddenly, the words dying on her lips. She looked up from her
spot sprawled on the floor, propped up on her elbows, and finally spotted their new
singer.
Oh my God, Karin breathed.
Ino pursed her lips. What a first impression, she said, glancing apologetically
at the two newcomers.
Were not always like this, Temari added, hopping off her stool and tossing
her magazine aside. She held out a hand to the singer, then his agent. Hey. Im Temari,
percussionist.
Im Kakashi, the agent said pleasantly. Youll have to excuse my client, hes
sulking.
The singer brushed his hair out of his eyes. I am not. He turned to Temari.
Im Sasuke. He nodded at Ino in greeting, then Karin, then his gaze dropped to Sakura,
still on the floor, still gaping.
You can get up now, Ino said with a laugh, holding her hand out to her best
friend. Sakura stumbled, then burned red. Shes backup vocals and bass guitar, Ino said
to Sasuke. Im Ino, on keyboard. And thats Karin, she
Lead guitar, Karin cut in with a sickeningly sweet smile aimed at Sasuke. He
didnt look impressed. I write a lot of the music. Well probably be working together a
lot.
With me, Sakura said, stepping up. Ino and Temari watched, bemused, as she
tossed her long roseate hair over one shoulder. I do lyrics.
For the first time since they had met him, Sasukes expression changed. He
twitched, then scowled.
I write my own lyrics, he snarledliterally, much to everyones disbelief.
Sakura actually stepped back, startled, before frowning.
Not anymore you dont, she snapped. Sasukes brows furrowed, but she
continued, You can offer input, but thats about it.
I am not singing your stupid love songs.
You dont have to! We dont sing stupid love songs.
Yeah, Ino said, Theyre pretty smart.
She went ignored.
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And besides, Sakura said, Were just fine without you, you know. I was lead
singer before you came. I can go back to it!
The room fell silent. Sasukes eyes were narrowed in thought, while Karin was
glaring, quite openly, at Sakura. Ino looked nervousshe knew as well as Temari did
that Sakura couldnt go back to singing anymore. But before either of them could
intervene, Kakashi stepped in.
Cant we all just get along? he said, putting a hand on Sasukes shoulder.
Sakura, please forgive him. He doesnt know how to talk to pretty girls.
Sakura was obviously caught off-guard by the unexpected compliment. Sasuke
looked to be a cross between embarrassed and furious, and he shrugged off Kakashis
handrather violently, Temari thought. Hopefully Sasuke wasnt going to be too much
of a diva. Karin was all but baring her teeth at Sakura. Ino seemed to notice this as well,
because she exchanged an amused glance with Temari.
Well discuss lyrics after the tour, Ino said soothingly. Her words only seemed
to alarm Sasuke further.
Tour? What?
Well, this has been in the works for the past year Temari shrugged. Sorry,
we cant push it back. If it wasnt for the accident, we could get to know each other. As it
is
Sasuke blinked. Accident?
The tension in the air seemed to increase. Sasuke was at a loss, but his eyes were
on Sakura, who was determinedly staring at the floor.
Its nothing, Ino said finally, breaking the silence. Look, the tours starting in
a week. Lets discuss this over lunch, hmm?
Sasuke folded his arms across his chest in a gesture not unlike Sakuras when
things werent going her way. Temari recognized it, and stepped up.
Ill order, she said. Pizza okay with you all?
Sasuke scowled at his agent. I hate you, he said very calmlythen stalked
towards the door.
Diva, out.
His image was ruined. He was singing girly lyrics (Im unusual, not so typical,
way too smart to be waiting around!), wearing girly clothes (Ino wouldnt let him wear
his worn-out leather jacket, and his shirts were all pressed), and had a girly fanbase
(mostly hormonal tweens). Pretty soon, Sasuke would have his own perfume.
He shuddered at the thought.
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It was the morning after a late concert, three weeks into the tour. The rest of the
band was still asleep, and probably would be until after noon, but Sasuke, unable to sleep
throughout the night, went down to the kitchen at 10an ungodly hour to be up, in his
opinion, especially after getting home at nearly five in the morning.
Still, he was up, he was bored, and the remote was conveniently lying on the
table. Shaking the box of cereal, he hit the power button and saw his face, eyes closed,
mouth to the mic. Ah, a video from the night before.
As he poured in his cereal, a woman in her early twenties came on screen. She
was wearing a tight shirt and horrendously bright lipstick. Sasuke turned the volume up.
The Konoha Winonas were on fire last night, and much of that can be attested
to their hot new singer, Uchiha Sasuke, and all the drama he brings! Rumors have been
flying around about the singing sensation and his bandmatesparticularly Haruno
Sakura, ex-lead singer of the band, and Karin. The two guitarists were seen exchanging
heated glares as they danced about their new star. Sasuke acted oblivious, of course, but
not even he could be ignorant of these two lovely ladies! Fans everywhere are alternating
between mourning his single status, and debating over who Sasuke will wind up with.
As Sasuke watched, growing increasingly disturbed, the images on the television
shifted from a video of the concert the night before to a shot of Sakura and Karin, posing
for a magazine cover, side by side. Karin was crouched down, hair spilling over one
shoulder, while Sakura was leaning against a wall, one leg propped up against the seat of
a chair. Both of them were holding guitars.
On one hand is Sakura, who appears to be the favorite for Sasukes affections.
Sunny, smart Sakura used to be the lead singer of the Konoha Winonas, and she won our
hearts as quickly as Sasuke. But can she win his? Rumor has it that Karin, lead guitarist
and one-time-model isnt so easy to ignore. Can Sasuke really resist such a diva? Dont
be so quick to judge, because a fan shot some interesting footage last night
Sasuke scoffed, pouring some more milk into his cereal bowl. When he glanced
up again, mouth full, he nearly choked.
On screen was a shot of him leaning against the limo, Sakura trapped against
him. Even as Sasuke watched, his on-screen self leaned down, eyes half-closed, to
Sakuras cheek.
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It seems this boys choice has been made. Some fans, however, remain
skeptical. If youre going to pick one, Sasuke, make it soon, and make it clear. Well be
waiting.
Sasuke stared at the TV, jaw sagging, as several more clips were shown, the
bands hit song Rockstar playing in the background. He had only been pulling Sakura out
of the way of her fans, then leaned down to her ear so she would be sure to hear him.
They hadnt been doing whatever it was people thought they were doing!
Sasuke barely knew the girl, didnt even really like her that much
It was ironic that just as Sasuke was thinking this Sakura came in, still in her
dark blue flannel pajamas, hair in disarray. Obviously, she hadnt known Sasuke would
already be upSakura was usually an hour before anyone else.
Just as he had suspected, she blinked when she saw Sasuke, then flamed red.
Sasuke! Iwhat are you doing here?
He gestured to his uneaten cereal wordlessly as explanation.
Oh. Right. She laughed, then glanced at the television where, thankfully, the
show had just ended. Anything interesting on?
Her question brought back memories of the horror he had just seen, and Sasuke
was mortified to feel his cheeks warm. Dammit, he was turning into a girl!
Sakura glanced back at him curiously, reaching for the cereal.
Are you okay?
Just peachy. Some rockstar he was, getting flustered over a stupid rumor. Then
again, he wasnt really a rock star yet. Just the night before, he had been singing about
walking a little faster in the halls, just to get next to his crush. It was painful. Something
had to be done about the lyrics. They were really much more suited for a female singer.
Then again, Sakura had been the lead singer for the band before him, hadnt
she? What had changed, Sasuke wondered.
Can you pass the milk?
Sasuke complied, passing her the carton silently. When she took it, her fingers
brushed his. Sasuke hated himself for noticing. His image was dead.
But there was only a little more than a week left of the tour. Then, maybe
Sasuke could leave the band, and start over. He would just be a new name and a new
face.
Were doing pretty well, hm? Sakura mused, nibbling at a piece of dry cereal.
Thanks for helping us. She smiled at him.
Hn, he grunted. Its a temporary thing.
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She stopped smiling. What? Why?
Sasuke looked at her like she was an idiot. Its a girl band, he reminded her.
So? Sakura demanded. Whats wrong with girls?
Nothing, he said. But youre too soft for me.
Soft? She scooted closer to him, chair legs scraping against the tile. Sasuke
watched, shocked, as she lifted her shirt so he could see her belly. He averted his eyes.
My belly button, prude. Its pierced. She dropped her shirt (Sasuke cursed
himselfwhy was he getting so worked up? He shouldve slept with a hundred girls by
now!). My ears? she said, pushing the hair back from her face so he could see the three
piercings in each lobe, as well as the one in her left cartilage. Pierced! Ive pierced my
tongue, my nose, and my eyebrow. I dyed my hair monthly as a kid. And
Her hand went to the collar of her shirt, and Sasuke realized what she was going
to do too late.
I have a tattoo, she said, yanking down her collar so he could see a spiraling
symbol just above her left breast. From university. What do you have?
Sasuke didnt speak. He couldnt. He stared down at the pale patch of skin she
was exposing to him, alarm bells ringing wildly in his mind. This was not possible. The
pink-haired, goody-goody spokesmodel of the Konoha Winonas was more hardcore than
him? That was wrong on so many levels. Not the least of which was that she was still
flashing him! Well, almost-flashing. Kind of.
Sasuke coughed, forcing himself to look away. It was surprisingly difficult.
Your sound, its
Its what? she asked, straightening out her shirt and returning to her breakfast.
Sasuke didnt know how to reply, and she finally sighed, setting down her spoon, and
said, Fine. Whatever. Im sorry I snapped. Youve been really great, and I She shook
her head. Well discuss music tonight. I cant promise you much for this tour, but lets
see how things go. Maybe I can convince you to stay.
She smiled at him again, and Sasuke thought once more of the show he had
watched.
Dammit.
Maybe you can, he said. But that was just to be polite.
Sakura was a bit of a coffee-addict, so after she showered and dressed, she and
Sasuke left the bands hotel suite to search for a nearby caf. Eventually, they decided on
Starbucks, each getting a coffee and settling in a dimly-lit booth at the back of the shop.
Sakura clicked open a pen and flipped open a notepad to a clean sheet. Ive
been wanting to use the line You were my dream come true Sasuke made a face, and
she broke off. Its not what youre thinking.
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Sasuke plucked the pen from her fingers. Why dont you step away from the
love songs for once? Let me try something.
Like what? she asked, clearly skeptical. People suck, go die? Ooh, catchy.
Sasuke frowned. Whats wrong with you? Im the singer, arent I?
Sakura seemed to sink in on herself, expression dropping and eyes dimming.
Sasuke wanted to kick himself. What had he said?
Fine, she said in a soft voice, pushing her notepad across the table. Go ahead.
Ill stop.
Sasuke took the notepad, pen poised to write, but made no move to pen down a
lyric. Instead, he remained watching Sakura. Her hair was slipping over one shoulder,
still damp from her shower. The sun was slanting in through the window beside them,
highlighting her pink hair orange, her green eyes indistinguishable in the light.
Why dont you sing anymore? he asked.
Immediately, Sakura reacted, reeling back in shock and staring at him with wide
eyes. Sasuke remained watching her patiently, waiting for her reply. She wouldnt look at
him for a long moment, worrying her lip, until her shoulders finally sagged, and she
sighed, long and slow.
I damaged my vocal chords, she said quietly. I cant sing.
Sasuke stared at her. She was staring down at her mug, expression unreadable.
It was pretty sudden, she said. It happened about two months ago. I saw
dozens of doctors and specialists, tried every kind of treatment. Nothing worked. We
almost had to break up the bandand just before our tour, too. We were about to make it
big.
She looked up, then. Her smile was sad.
Part of why I was so stubborn about the lyrics waswell, they were mine. I
was supposed to sing them, not you. And I hated you for taking my spot from me. She
laughed. I was wrong, I know. Im just childish.
They were both silent for a moment. Then, Sasuke spoke up.
I heard your old sound, he said. Sakura looked up, surprised. You were good.
I can understand. Why youd be bitter.
He cleared his throat and looked away from her, pasting on a scowl for good
measurewhich was when he saw the camera focused on them, held by a seedy-looking
man in the corner booth. Shit. Paparazzi, and he was catching Sasuke being nice!
Something had to be done.
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Sakura remained oblivious to the camera, and she reached out to touch Sasukes
hand. She was smiling, cheeks blooming with color. Dammit. Why did she look so
pretty?
Thanks, Sasuke.
Sasuke didn't like that she kept smiling at him like that. Or, rather, he didnt like
that he did like that she kept smiling at him like that. He was no pansy. He was a
hardcore punk rocker. He didnt get mushy over a girls smile.
Sasuke? Are you okay?
That stupid show had started this mess! Now everyone would think he was into
Sakura solely because of her smile or or something equally pathetic. No. He couldnt
do this. He needed to be tough. He needed to protect his image.
The camera was still trained on him, and Sakura still hadnt seen it.
Whats your tattoo of? Sasuke asked abruptly.
Sakura blinked, pulling at her collar, just as Sasuke had hoped she would. Its
of my universitys symbol, she replied. Why?
No reason, Sasuke said. And then he reached out to trace his fingers over it.
Sakura looked startled, but the cameraman looked thrilled. To him, it looked like Sasuke
was going in for the grope.
The flash went off, Sasuke spent a moment imagining tomorrows headlines
Bad Boy Uchiha is at it Again!and then, satisfied in his knowledge that he was just as
much of a pervert as any other boy, still worthy of his rocker title, he leaned down and
kissed her.
Its over, ladies. It seems that heartthrob Uchiha Sasuke doesnt realize just
how desired he isnot if the tender way he was snuggling up to Haruno Sakura over
coffee this morning is any indication. The boys in love! Isnt that cute, girls?
Sasuke threw his TV out the window in an emo-rocker move that would make
even Pain proud.
Under the Sea
I n the absence of reason, one's only recourse is laughter.
"My seashells are itchy."
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Hyuuga Neji looked at Uzumaki Naruto with thinly-veiled disdain. The blond
boy was fidgeting, almost bouncingas well as one could in the depths of the seain
place with his agitation. His behavior is not becoming of a merman of his ilk, Neji
thought, as he pushed up from the ocean floor, and cut through a passing school of clown
fish. His long brown hair seemed attuned to the rhythm of the ocean's flowit followed
his movements with little coaxingand acted as a makeshift banner that announced his
comings and goings with all the pomposity of a court herald.
Naruto snorted.
"Oi, princess! Don't go too far! Shikamaru and that bastard are supposed to be
here any minute! And didn't you hear me? I said my cups were kind of itchymaybe
they're infected or something! Couldn't you check?" The last he said with unrepentant
glee, anticipating the other's reaction to his request. Neji was such a frigid little bitch,
sometimes. He really made it too easy.
"Maybe you're lactating," Neji replied snidely, using sarcasm in lieu of
sympathy. Where the hell were Sasuke and Shikamaru anyway? They should have known
by now that leaving him alone with Naruto for more than five minutes never led to
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anything other than trouble.
"Nope, that's not it," Naruto said, unaffected by his implication. It was what he
expected after all, though he wished the Neji had been a bit more violent with his distaste.
Naruto had been hoping for a few popped blood vessels at least. He sighed, disappointed.
"Why'd that pervert make us wear these anyway? We look like applicants at one
of those skeevy brothels he loves visiting so much."
After taking another look around in hopes of seeing Sasuke's and Shikamaru's
approaching formsand finding himself wantingNeji pinched the bridge of his nose,
and sighed heavily.
"You shouldn't refer to Jiraiya-sama in that manner, Naruto," he said wearily, as
though he was reciting from a book of etiquette. "We've told you that time and time
again. As to your question, I could not venture to guess what makes Jiraiya-sama so
adverse to seeing male nipplesat this, Neji crossed his arms over his own baby pink
seashells, in order to keep his modestywhich was the prime reason he had the
particular piece of legislation you are referring to drafted and passed by the Tribunal.
You would know all this if you had ever bothered to read any of the required texts for our
History seminar." At this, Neji gave Naruto another meaningful stare, which he hoped
would aptly convey both his own superiority and his disapproval of Naruto's
lackadaisical ways.
"Well I kind of get that part"
"Doubtful," Neji interrupted blithely. Naruto barreled on as though he hadn't
even spoken.
"but what I don't get, is why they have to change colors to match our mood!
Isn't that kind of girly? And plus, I look really really washed out when I get pissyemo
blue isn't my favorite color and, you know, that's more of the bastard's schtick, am I
right?so why couldn't he just have them stay the same color? I look awesome and
fierce and unstoppable in orange, and it really brings out my eyes, I think. Don't you?
And you can't tell me that you don't honestly wish that yours was your power color all the
time. I mean, that would basically be the equivalent to you having your own theme song,
you know, or like, having accompaniment for your freaky hand-hair. You and baby
pinkit just works, Neji. It empowers you."
Neji was saved from retorting by the timely arrival of one Nara Shikamaru. The
latter's movements as he swam to meet them were stark, almost jerkya wild contrast to
his usual laconic strokesand the line of his back was stiff with tension. There was an
unease in his eyes which gave his friends pause.
Neji noticed the difference immediately, and tensed, bracing himself for the
worst.
"What's wrong?" Naruto asked bluntly, never one to circle the coral reef.
Shikamaru did not seem surprised at the question, and he answered without
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hesitation.
"His bed was empty this morning, and there were signs of a struggle," he said,
without preamble. "That framed family portrait he has up on his wall? You knowthe
one that his mother painted? It was on the floor. The glass case around it was shattered.
They found a trail of pinkish fluid on his carpet. It led out into the gardens from his
balcony."
"Blood. Was it blood, Shikamaru?" Naruto asked, speaking almost breathlessly,
as though the speed at which he spoke would make the refusal come that much quicker.
He released a breath when Shikamaru shook his head in the negative.
"Tomato juice."
"His customary midnight snack," Neji murmured to no one in particular.
"That's why I was late," Shikamaru said, as though they'd asked for an
explanation. "They had me check his usual haunts but"
"He's gone, isn't he," Neji interrupted blankly. It wasn't a question.
Shikamaru nodded.
Yes. Sasukes been taken.
***
There was an octopus head hanging over him, and if there was an octopus head
hanging over him, it meant that hed failed.
But then, Uchiha Sasuke thought dazedly, it doesnt look like any octopus Ive
ever seen before. It was unlike the large yellow one that functioned as a popular attraction
in the royal carnival, and its arms were too short for it to be the same species as the
gardener that trimmed the hedges outside his window (and, now that he noticed, it
seemed to be missing a few arms as well).
Perhaps it was a new specie.
It certainly doesnt have eyes like any octopus Ive ever encountered, Sasuke
thought, squinting blearily. And why is the light so bright? And why am I so dry?
He shrugged these inconsequential thoughts aside and examined the blurry form
before him with some trepidation. If this was, indeed, a new species, he would have to
take care not to arouse its ire. Who knew what sort of tricks it had under its tentacles?
And again, Sasuke asked no one in particular, why the hell are my eyes so dry?
He blinked once, twice, but to no avail. The figure above him seemed half-cloaked in
shadow, but from what he could tell, it was oblong by shape and a pale-peach in color.
The creatures posture seemed different somehowless boneless, and more uprightbut
Sasuke was willing to bet his prized pet barnacles that there was an octopus head hanging
over him, potentially waiting to unleash its unholy fury on his hapless merson.
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As such, he did what any dignified princeling well-trained in the art of combat
would do when placed in the same situation.
RAAH.
Instinctively, he turned to swim away, moving his lithe lower body in the sharp
jerking motion that had won him a sparkling First Place at last years Water Sports Ballet
Competition, only to realize that in lieu of water, he was surrounded by sand.
Which meant his earlier assessment had been wrong.
He hadnt failed.
Wheream I ashore? Octopussycat, I made itI made
He froze as he heard an answering giggle, and tensed as he felt the answering
weight of a small hand resting against his right cheek. The picture above him seemed to
clear, and he gaped openly at the bright green eyes that met his surprised gaze.
Hello there, the creature said lightly, parting its lips to reveal even, white
teeth. Are you feeling all right?
Sasuke took one look at her
And promptly threw up.
***
But who would take him? Who?
Neji seemed to consider the question with all due concern, swimming back and
forth so quickly that it began to make Naruto dizzy.
The real question is, the blond said, shaking his head to clear it of its daze,
Who would want him? His earlier concern over Sasukes welfare seemed to have
disappeared, and in its place rested the assurance that Sasuke was simply off sulking over
who-knew-what. Naruto was firmly of the opinion that hed be back by nightfall.
Probably.
Maybe.
Hopefully.
He wilted slightly at the thought that he might be wrong.
Shikamaru shot Naruto a dark look.
Be serious, Naruto. Sasukes disappearance has dangerous implications for the
rest of us. He slept in a room that was heavily guarded, and fortified by the best security
measures known to our kind. Not to mention, hes an able fighter and more than capable
of protecting himself.
Neji paused in his motions, and threw Shikamaru a Look.
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He was acompetent warrior, Shikamaru. But lets be fair. There wereare
better than he. You neednt be so concerned about the safety of Atlantiss constituents.
After all, I He was cut off by Narutos (not-so-)accidentally (well-)placed fist.
Anyway, he said, drawing out the word so it became more of a sound rather
than a word, enough talk. How are we gonna find him with all those goons raiding the
crime scene? Weve gotta look for clues, dont we?
I thought you didnt care what happened to Sasuke, Naruto, Shikamaru said
lightly.
The blond flushed pink.
I dont, he screeched. But that jerk owes me next weeks lunch and Ill never
get it if we dont find him alive! He swam away from them, and huffed irritably,
crossing his arms across his chest.
Neji, whod been glaring at him with ill-disguised contempt, stifled an inelegant
snort. He then proceeded to adjust his pink clamps with all the dignity he could muster.
Shikamaru merely shook his head.
You dont have to explain, NarutoNeji and I already know all about your
little romance. Its nothing to get snippy over. We know that you two arent doing what
got He-Who-Must-Not-Even-Be-Thought-Of expelled from the kingdom three years ago.
Really.
Or, at least, Neji put in, smirking, you two arent doing it with electric eels,
lampreys, and sometimes angler fish.
Naruto shot them both a glare that could have frozen icicles.
Lets just find him.
***
Haruno Sakura stared.
She tried not toshe knew it was rude, and shed had the Rules of Propriety
bored into her skull by a team of highly excitable tutors since she could burble, but it was
so difficult not to stare.
The boy in front of her had ink-black hair, and skin like ivoryand that was
rude too, she remembered distantly, seeing people as objects; but honestly, shed never
seen those shades (naturally) reproduced in any living human beforeand his chest rose
and fell with steady breaths. His eyes were shut now, and a most uncharitable part of her
wished it would have been all right to wake him upshed always judged people by their
eyes, after all, and his own seemed shut to the world. His nose was thin and straight, his
chin strong and aristocratic. All-in-all, he seemed a lovely package.
But that wasnt what kept her staring.
From the hip-downand she tried very hard not to blush, shed seen diagrams
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before after all, and helped out in the castles healing wing whenever things got too
busythe boy before her was covered in a fine sheen of what appeared to be fish scales.
They shimmered in the light of the morning sun, glowed iridescent and lovely, and cast a
soft rainbow across the line of her arms.
A real, true, merman.
She boggled at the implications.
There were mermen. The folk tales were real.
Somewhere, in the ocean in front of her, underneath the waves which lapped
against the shore, beneath the tides that ebbed and flowed with the moon, there was an
entirely different world apart from the one shed always known.
At the thought, Sakura paused, wondering if she should have been a little more
apprehensive about being alone with the magnificent specimen in front of her. As she sat
beside his prone figure, she tried in vain to remember if there were any particular dangers
associated with the mermen of the deep. Mermaids, she knew, could be as ornery as any
proper sea urchin, their voices clearer than the lightest of bells. They were dangerous,
those Sirens. And then, she knew that there were variationsagain strictly of the female
varietywhich fed on the flesh of drowned seamen in order to maintain their youthful
beauty.
She spared a small glance down at the creature lying beside her, her eyes
confirming once-and-for all, that despite the orange seashell pasties, it was decidedly
male.
Probably.
Sighing, she went back to her ruminations, before she stopped at the sound of a
low groan.
Oh, she gasped softly, kneeling over him when she noticed some movement
behind his eyelids. Hes waking up!
She watched as he shook his head from side to side, and finally, he opened his
eyes to reveal a shade that matched the darkness of his hair. He blinked slowly, as though
unaccustomed to the sunlightwhich, now that she considered it, might not have been
too far off the mark, considering his presumed origins.
His eyes seemed to flicker between a sort of consciousness and what she
assumed was his dreamscape. She listened, more than a little amused at the way he
seemed to take careful notice of her bright pink strands, but the giggles disappeared when
he wondered aloud whether she was a previously undocumented specie of octopus. He
seemed disoriented, surprised to be ashore.
Hello there, she ventured, pushing a wave of annoyance away in favor of
reaching over to touch his facestill smilingwhen his ravings had ceased, and his
throat seemed to have exhausted itself on what she assumed was his battle cry. Are you
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all right?
She was more than a little disconcerted when she got a nose full of vomit for her
courtesy.
***
Sasuke retched, feeling more miserable than he could remember as the feel of
regurgitated sea scallops made itself perfectly at home in the blue-blackness of his hair.
The figure above him moved away, the voluminous folds of its strangely poofy
pale yellow-and-blue garmentAnd, what is under it, he wondered. A cave?rustling
with its fluid movements. He squinted, and tried in vain to sit upright, before succumbing
to the feel of exhaustion seeping through his limbs. The stench was becoming unbearable
now, and
Here you go, was his only warning before the creature above him allowed a
handful of water to plip-plop its way into the center of his self-made mess.
He shot it a glare in lieu of thanks, and began the arduous process of flopping on
his stomach to drag himself to the water.
He would wash it off without itshe still wasnt quite sure what it washelp,
so help him.
What was important was that he was here. He was ashore.
Hed made it.
Now, he thought, Madara will pay.
***
I just had a thought.
In an effort to be the bigger man, Shikamaru let that one slide. Besides, it would
have been entirely too easy, and they were too busy for him to be spending any time
entertaining Narutos witticisms.
Neji, it appeared, had no such qualms.
Enlighten us, Naruto, the young lord said absently as he watched the rhythmic
movement of the manta ray above him. Its perfect symmetry is truly something to behold,
he marveled silently. Even the smattering of spots
Weve checked the entire kingdom, and the Grand Perverts sent out his best
swimmers in a fifty-mile radius. And, we still havent found him.
Shikamaru sighed wearily.
Where are you going with this, Naruto? he asked, running a tired hand
through his hair.
The blond looked contemplative.
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Weve looked in caves, under fault lines, behind coral reefs
and in that trollop sea-witch, Karins, cave, Neji interjected, shuddering at
the memory of her dreadfully fast hands.
Naruto scowled at his reaction.
At least she didnt sic that weird skeleton on you, he raged, swimming faster
so he led the group, and then turning so he faced them. Shikamaru groaned as again, they
were forced to stop.
Whered she get that thing anyway? It must be new, I didnt see it last week
when I stole those anemone stingers to put in the perverts bedanyway! We looked
inside his favorite abandoned ship wreck, and below that one hole on the palace grounds
he ran away to that one time Jiraiya tried to make him ma
We remember, Shikamaru said weakly, going green at the memory.
My favorite hair tie is still covered with sea moss, Neji added darkly. And
shrimp intestine. Sasukes propensity for regurgitation during times of trial is most
unbecoming
of a merman of his ilk, said Shikamaru and Naruto in perfect tandem. We
know, Neji.
My point is, the blond continued gratingly, annoyed that no one had seen
where he was going, isnt it possible that
He was interrupted at that moment by the arrival of Udon, one of the younger
palace guards. The boy was red-faced, as though hed been swimming a relay.
My lords, he said, as soon as he reached them, even as he panted for breath.
Theres been a development.
Naruto, Neji and Shikamaru watched as he huffed.
And puffed.
And snortled a little, sending a spray of bubbles toward the light above.
Naruto slapped a hand over Nejis mouth before he could deliver what Naruto
knewfrom personal experienceto be a yawn-inducing monologue on The Particulars
of Decorum Befitting a Meryouth of Your Station.
Hed been fortunate enough to be the recipient of Nejisgoodwill before, and
really, after the 463
rd
time, the thing tended to be a burden to sit through.
Shikamaru, for his part, ignored all this and prodded the boy to hurry with his
information.
You were saying Udon?
My lords, the boy tried again, the investigatorstheyve found something!
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Silence reigned.
We rather got that, Neji said pointedly. Or else you wouldnt be here, would
you?
The guard seemed to wilt under the Hyuugas obvious displeasure.
Theythey
Spit it out, child, Neji thundered.
Behind him, Naruto mimed choking, allowing his eyes to bulge more than what
was strictly appropriate.
Or natural.
It was staged, Udon yelped out.

Three brows quirked in succession.

Excuse me, Shikamaru said blankly. Nejis attempt at indifference was marred
by the way his thin brown eyebrows seemed to twitch for further clarification.
Naruto, for his part, gaped openly.
Udon continued as though hed expected these reactions, clearly more at ease
now that Nejis superciliousness had been replaced by (well-hidden) confusion. He
pushed his goggles further up on the bridge of his nose.
Prince Sasuke! They think that hehe planted all that evidence! When the
detectives went through his room for more clues, they found a map of Konoha! Hes up
there. On land! The investigators arent done analyzing everything quite yet but they
found some stuff about, you know, the accident, and they think that hes up there,
because, well
He trailed off, noticing the dawning comprehension on the three faces in front of
him. Lord Naras had darkened with understanding and Lord Uzumakis mouth seemed
to have tightened at the corner.
It was Lord Hyuuga, however, who made him shiver.
He wants revenge.
***
Thats a very pretty bracelet, Sasuke-kun.
He grunted at the sound of his name coming from herat least that mystery had
been solvedlips, and turned away as he swam out further into the sea, fingering the
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silver metal on his wrist with disdain. After a few laps, he returned to where she stood
and raised his voice just so, enough that he could be heard above the lapping waves.
Without it, prolonged exposure to your filthy human air would render me
helpless within a matter of moments, Sasuke said tonelessly.
Sakura took no outward offense and shrugged before she sat down on the shore,
arranging the folds of her ridiculous garment around her so that they shielded her skin
from the sand.
Oh, she said simply. Well, if youre so tired of it here already, why dont you
leave? Those eyes, the color of his air at dusk seemed to pierce through him.
Irrationally, he wondered whether hed somehow hurt her with his curt dismissal of her
home. Stupid, he told himself forcefully. Shes no one but a stranger. And shes one of
them.
Im looking for a certain man, he said instead. I have unfinished business
with him, and Im looking for information.
She blinked, clearly confused.
A man? You, that isa man?
He sighed in exasperation before answering her unasked question.
He used to belike me. But, he continued, and here his voice grew lower so
she had to strain to hear. He changed his formmasked it, ratherso he would look
like one of you. Now, there was no mistaking the sheer amount of hatred in his voice.
He wronged me, and I would right this wrong before I allow him even another breath of
your putrid air.
Sakura blinked.
What did he do? Borrow your favorite pasties and not give them back? she
said laughingly, gesturing to his orange seashells.
His cheeks flushed, and his eyes narrowed.
If it pleases you to laugh so, I should at least be kind enough to give you a
proper reason, he said mockingly.
Sakura gestured for him to continue, still smiling.
Sasuke closed his eyes.
He killed my family.
***
So, Naruto began, after Udon had sped away, and they were alone with one
another again. I, uh, never actually got whathappened. With the, uh, massacre.
Except, you know, themassacre. He cringed at the reminder.
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Which part? Neji said blankly.
You cant tell that story in pieces, Shikamaru said.
Naruto laughed, but it rang hollow.
Heh. In pieces.
***
Sasuke drew in a deep breath, and began.
I was born the second son of a noble clan. From the beginning, it seemed the
stars were determined to cross. That Fate was set on destroying what meager happiness
she saw fit to grant me. It was a frigid day in the seventh month in the eighth year of
my
Um, Sakura interrupted.
What?
I was justcould you maybeI mean, its just
What?
I know that your story is tragictheres no way it isnt with the introduction
you gave itbutI mean, I justtell me without the dramatics, ok? Ill be honestI
have a hard time taking you seriously when I feel like youre channeling Shakespeare or
something. You know what, actually? Im sorry, I wont say a word. You tell it the way
you want to. Its, ah, your tragedy, after all.
At the end of her awkward tirade, Sakura waved her arms in a muteand
ultimately uncouthsupplication for pity. The last thing she wanted was to hurt his
feelings. He seems the prissy sort, she decided silently. It was in the way even his hair
seemed determined not to sway with the balmy breeze, as though the very strands knew
the repercussions of falling out of their assigned places and onto the otherworldly beauty
of his delicate face. Even the softly-accented words he spokehalting, awkward, slightly
antiquatedseemed to mark him decidedly different.
She wondered if he rolled out of bedschlepped? drifted? What was the right
term here? Sakura didnt knowthat way, even despite the water he had presumably
grown up surrounded by. He certainly seemed imperious enough that even Logic would
yield to his reign.
Who is Shakespeare? was what he said in response.
Sakura stared.
Never mind, she said, shaking her head. You were saying?
He gave her an odd look, but continued, evidently willing to allow the comment
to pass.
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My brother, cur that he is, was born at high tide, which where I am from, is a
sign of auspicious fortune. From the beginning, he had everythingrespect, admiration,
adoration. And why not? He was the first-born, the heir to the throne. The ladies of the
court found his facial features agreeable and pleasingly symmetrical
so he was pretty, Sakura ventured. Is he usually so loquacious, she
wondered. He didnt seem the type, but then, what did she know about him? He was a
stranger. Perhaps it was something in the oxygen.
In any case, Sasuke looked pinched nowhis nose, scrunched in distaste, and
his dark eyes were narrowed. Sakura strongly suspected the look was his default.
THE LADIES OF THE COURT FOUND HIS FACIAL FEATURES
AGREEABLE AND PLEASINGLY SYMMETRICAL, and he was a master in the states
room as well as in the practice range, which made him popular with both the up-and-
coming mermen and the well-established hierarchy of influence. As a result, he wanted
for nothing. When I was born, I was deemed spirited enough and intelligent enough
and handsome enough. In short, it was a well-kept secret that I was second to him in all
ways that mattered, least of all in terms of ascension to the throne. My mother doted on
me
Ah, Sakura said, nodding understandingly. Oedipal issues. So your kind has
that, too? And, oh myyoure a prince, she said, and marveled accordingly. She
allowed the smile on her face to grow past the realm of polite interest, and into
appropriately awed. All the nobility she had ever met had always preferred it if shed
made a fuss over their status. Hopefully, this extended to sea princes, too.
To her dismay, Sasukes scowl only grew deeper.
Do you make a habit of mocking other beings pain? And of course, I
thought that would have been obvious. Tragic or not, Ive been told by many that my
bearing is regal enough. He sniffed pointedly, and Sakura felt the first stirrings of
exasperation.
Yes, well, she began crisply. Those people havent seen you with half-eaten
scallop in your hair.
***
Itachi left to go on land right?
Shikamaru favored Naruto with a glance as he replied.
Yes. He felt that he had explored all possibilities here, and that there was
nothing left to know, to discover, here under the sea. To that end, he left, seeking
opportunity for growth elsewhere.
But along the way, Neji continued, his voice growing so cold that Naruto was
surprised icicles hadnt yet formed in his wake. He met with the wrong kindnot that
there are any good ones up there, mind youand indirectly engineered the death of his
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family.
Indirectly, Naruto repeated, clearly befuddled if the way his blond brows met
in the middle of his forehead were any indication.
There are rumors that he washelped along on his decision, Shikamaru put
in. A mysterious third-party manipulated him. Thats whats in the records anyway, and
the council is unwilling to implicate him any further. You remember how much they
adored him.
Naruto snorted, sending a spray of bubbles in Nejis general direction.
There are theoriesjust theoriesthat this third party, whoever it was, told
Itachi that his family was the only thing holding him to this place, and with the
obliteration of his line, he would be free to live. Freer to live, Shikamaru amended
hastily. Sasuke was spared only because his parents had decided to make that trip their
second honeymoon without telling him. They left him without saying goodbye, you
know.
There was silence for a few dark minutes, before Naruto cleared his throat,
uncomfortable with the sudden quiet.
But Itachi wanted to live as a human, he said, shuddering. Why? Theyre
gross.
Perhaps he just wondered what different felt like, Neji mused. And in any
case, one commonly wishes for what one does not havein this case, it is quite possible
that Sasuke's brother wished for an entirely different way to live.
So, he didn't want to be a merman anymore? Naruto said, trailing off.
Shikamaru snorted.
Exactly," he harrumphed. "From what Ive read, its not very easy. There are
all sorts of problems. War, pestilence, plague. Those people are trouble, mark my words.
Its hot and dry. They live to work and eat and die and
they dont ever really live, not the way we do, Naruto said in a small voice.
His tail drooped noticeably behind him. Is there a cure for their humanity?
Shikamaru shook his head.
Not as far as I know.
Well, it sounds like a really bad place to be. Im glad were here.
Humph, Neji said, as close to an agreement with Naruto as he would ever get.
Lets just get that idiot back down here before he gets any ideas. You know
how badly Sasuke wanted to be just like him.
***
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They were sitting on the beach now, a few feet away from where she had found
him in order to spare their olfactory senses the fragrant scent of his stomach acid. She
was certainly a strange one. For a brief moment, he wondered whether she was
considered so eccentric, even by human standards. Her voice was clear and strident, and
almost never sank down to the level of a whisper. The closest it had come was the sound
of it before he had first woken upthe soft sudden break through his hallucination. What
had passed for octopus head in his reverie was actually quite smaller than he had first
thought, and looking at her now, he wondered how he could have made the mistake. The
only thing that seemed out of proportion was the breadth of her brow, and even that was
minor. At first, her eyes had reminded him of the bottles humans threw into the ocean
afterwhat hed readtheir nights of revelry, so he shouldve hated the shade.
However, in the light of their sun, he imagined them lovely and clear: the color of kelp.
Her skin was near to his own pale pallor, though it was a warmer shade. She was dressed
in yellow, which should clashed spectacularly with the coral of her hairand it did,
really, but he couldnt quite fault her for it.
It would not, however, stop him from telling her.
Your strange garb and your strange hair are burning my eyes. And what is
Oedipal, anyway? he asked, trying his best to pronounce the strange word in the same
way that she had.
Sasuke watched, amused, as her pink lips thinned, and her eyes began to twitch.
Neji did the same thing whenever Naruto used his favorite ceremonial hair ribbons to
shine his seashells. Unfortunately, the resemblance stopped there, and there was no
explosion of decorum. Instead, she smoothed her face out into a more pleasant mask and
smiled gratingly.
I feel somehow that we have gotten off-topic, Sakura said easily. You were
telling me aboutoh! Do youwant to stop? You dont have to tell me anymore if you
dont want to. I havent been my best today, and well, Im not usually this insensitive, I
promise. She looked away, embarrassed. Her cheeks were pink.
Do you have sunburn? Your cheeks are pink, he said in what he hoped passed
for concern. He lifted a finger, poking at her left cheek experimentally, and marveled at
the way it seemed to bloom pinker under his ministrations.
She scowled, and batted his hand away.
Stop that!
He desisted, and looked out to the horizon.
In answer to your question, he said pointedly, I have been told that releasing
my anger in this manner will help me to heal. As a result, I have been forced to tell my
story so many times, and in so many ways that I long ago came to terms with the way
Ifeel, after. That is to say, he added silently, that I know I feel something, but I dont
exactly know what. But I am certainly not telling you any of this.
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He looked at her to gauge her reaction, and in lieu of the mask of tears he had
been dreading, he saw faint traces of softness. This was a surprise. Where were the half-
hearted condolences, and the false streams of pity? Hed grown so used to staying stoic
and silent, as around him, his brethren seemed to fall apart whenever he told his story
looked to him for real comfort in the face of their superficial tears, in lieu of making any
attempt to consider his place in the tragedy.
It was so very exhausting watching others fall apart, but to his surprise, there
was no pity on her faceonly a calm curiosity mingled with a hint of sympathy.
The change wasrefreshing.
You
I dont actually know what to say.
Sasuke scowled, all gratitude gone.
Hasnt anyone ever told you that its rude to interrupt when your betters are
speaking?
Her eyes glittered dangerously, and Sasuke found himself reminded of that
brightly shining thingamabob hed cut his tail on that one time Naruto had pushed him
into his super secret cave of hoarded thingamajigs.
Well, she began sweetly, as she arranged her skirts around her so they seemed
to form a fan in the sand.
Unbidden, Sasuke felt his hackles rise.
Perhaps if I saw any around me, she continued, Id be more obliged to take
your graciously offered advice.
Are you always sothe way you are?
She pretended not to notice when he accidentally used his flipper to send sand,
and a few dead hermit crabs, onto her skirts.
And how am I? she asked, fluttering her lashes.
Sasuke studiously ignored her.
I imagine you dont see creatures like me very often, he said, turning away to
face the ocean.
Im still not completely convinced that you arent a hallucination, she said
softly.
Should I throw a barnacle at you again? It seemed to do the trick a few
moments ago.
***
and starfish, and sea turtles, and dolphins, and coral reefs, and those squidgy
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fish with the squishy faces I dont remember the names of, you know, the ones that blend
in with sand near the playground, and
Shut. Up. Now.
Shikamaru resisted the urge to smack Naruto with the nearest piece of ship
debris.
I realize that you are quite opposed to Itachis methods and madness and
motivations, but you dont have to list down every little thing you love about being down
here. Nejis already gone through three recitations of the most recent amendments to our
national constitution just to keep from strangling you.
Naruto looked on in wonderwhether it was over Nejis self-restraint or the
way hed been systematically dismantling pieces of the warship theyd run into,
Shikamaru wasnt sure.
Why arent we looking for him, anyway? Neji asked. Hed stopped stripping
away the layers of paint once all sides were evenly discolored, and now floated, looking
speculatively at the algae still covering the stern.
Yeah, Naruto agreed. Why arent we?
Weve been ordered to remain here. The council eldersthey dont want to
risk another accident.
***
They were mowed down. She gasped, clearly horrified. What sort of
monsterhis own parents!
Sakura was appalled.
In cold blood. I believe he waswater-skiing. At least, according to my
research notes that is what it I believe it is called. Riding on air with two sticks on ones
feet, while a whirly-whir boat pulls it for momentum. The spinners on that boat continued
full-speed ahead, despite my mothers frantic pleas for it to stop.
Suddenly, he looked at her, angry again. The orange seashells on
hischestwere flashing red, a far departure from the bright orange they had been
prior.
My sources told me that your human authorities,and here, he spat the words
as though they were distastefuldid not even bother with an official investigation. They
simply deemed it an accidentsaid some words about dugongs and manatees and
conservation efforts. My distant uncle, who manned the ship, simply paid a fee, he
finished tonelessly. Is there a price for your humanity in this world?
The question seemed to be rhetorical, and in any case, Sakura had no answer for
it. His parentssea royaltymowed down, mistaken for sea cows, and relegated to a file
in Greenpeaces case cabinet.
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She wondered now, at Sasukes composureat how many years it had taken
him to achieve the level of grace he was displaying now. Besides the lack of inflection in
his voice, there seemed no sign of what Sakura was sure was his turmoil. The entire affair
was preposterousvaguely absurd.
It would have made her hysterical.
You said something about a distant uncle, she said, more as a distraction than
anything else.
He had long ago renounced our world manipulated my brother with ideas of
immortality.
Immortality, Sakura repeated. How in the world
While my kind lives longer than your own, we are not invincible, nor are we
truly immortal. When we die, we turn into the foam of the sea. He caught snatches of a
rumor that would allow him not only freedom from the foam, but also a chance to soar in
the sea above. My brother, fount of ambition that he was, was enthralled. My uncle, who
escaped the sea through sorcery, fed this rumor with lies and trickery, convincing my
brother that the fastest way to avoid death was to do away with my parents. When my
brother found out, he was devastated. All of this, I know from hunting and gathering
information below.
Sakura was silent, reflecting on the story shed just been told. It was all so
fantastic, so unbelievable and so impossibly untrue. If she didnt know better, she would
have suspected a hoax. After all, it reeked of clichs, and fairy tales, and she was a
practical girldespite her frilly, yellow and blue petticoats.
But then, when she looked at him to question his truth, she could only notice the
strained tenseness of his muscles, the telltale tightening of his jaw, the way his fists
clenched and unclenched rhythmically, almost in time with the crashing waves.
What reason would he have to lie to her? He hadnt asked for anything besides
information, hadnt seemed to notice the weighed pearl that rested in the pale hollow of
her throat. He hadnt even bothered to address her by her namehadnt given any
indication that he even knew what it was, or even that he cared.
As crazy as it seemed, she believed him. And what was more, she was sorry for
him, though she had a feeling that to show that would be tantamount to a death sentence.
Or, at least to an epic fit of pique.
Still, she could not, not say something.
Im so
If thats the beginning of an apology, dont even bother, he interrupted curtly.
Its very difficult to be kind to you. Do you know that?
He didnt seem apologetic in the least.
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I hate apologies. Useless thingswhat could you have done, anyway? How
could you have known? Silly creature. If youre sorry, give me resources. My guards are
searching for me, and theyll find me soon. I would exact my revenge before supper.
Sakura heard nothing past the word creature, and found her sympathy quelling
in the face of her mounting irritation.
I am a girl, you imbecile. It is one syllable. Surely youryour mermish tongue
can handle pronouncing one unfamiliar syllable. You seem to have a handle on other far
more complicated words, anyway.
Of course I do. And, of course it can. It simply chooses not to.
Tragedy or not, I am starting to dislike you, she said tartly, though the soft
smile on her face belied the venom in her words.
He turned away, and she was gratified to see his own face blooming in the dark.
The feeling is mutual, you impertinent sea slug.
***
Lord Nara, Lord Nara!
Udon was back, and he seemed to have learned from his former faux-pas. He
kept his eyes carefully lowered as a sign of respect, until Shikamaruwho was rolling
his eyes from where Neji couldnt see himgave him lead to rise. The young guard was
careful not to allow his exertion to show, and made a point to depart from the palace
grounds at a far more sedate pace than he had earlier. As a result, the huffings and
puffings and snortlings from earlier were replaced by a relatively calmer, cooler delivery
of news.
Neji harrumphed in hard-earned approval. His hair, which fanned out behind
him in its customary resting position, seemed just as appeased, and made no move to
attack. Naruto was fascinated to note that the tendril-like, vaguely malicious
appendages it had grown during Udons last less-professional appearance were
nowhere to be found.
What is it, Udon? Any news?
The boy bobbed his head.
Yes, milord. The sea gulls nearest Konohas western-most coast have reported
back. Theyve spotted the prince ashore. Theres someone with him, though. A pink-
haired
But they were already gone.
***
Sakurathank you.
She quirked a pink brow, and Sasuke felt his face burning. Hed have to apply
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some nacre when he got back home, he decided. This perpetual sunburn couldnt possibly
be healthy.
At least, he thought it was sunburn. It was gone now, at any rate.
One minute Im an impertinent sea-slug, and the next, Im worthy of your
gratitude. What brought this on, Your Highness?
He threw her a glare, before turning away to face the sunset. He hadnt realized
how long hed been there, talking to hercouldnt imagine what had led to his sudden fit
of chattiness. Still, he couldnt take back his words.
Ive heardstories, he said grudgingly. Of what your people do to mine,
when you catch one of us. You sell us to the highest bidderuse us for entertainment, or
as objects of fascination.
I havent yet discounted the idea, she said wryly, though he knewwith a
reliable degree of certainlythat it was all in jest.
Probably.
They were quiet for a while, and Sakura shifted so she was lying parallel to
himan arms length away, not that he was measuring. The sky was darkening now, a
blotted mix of coral pinks and anemone oranges.
He felt her shift beside him, was suddenly conscious of the small, pale hand that
crept closer to his side, but not near enough to touch. That curious warming sensation
was back on his face, and he frowned. The sun was disappearingsurely, it couldnt be
its heavy burn, again.
Is there a time limit on your bracelet? she asked him, her voice growing softer,
her breath turning into its own whisper. Her eyes seemed to disappear behind her lids,
and he wondered nowsilently, so she wouldnt hearhow hed ever managed to
mistake her for an octopus.
My main concern is when my brethren will come for me. I can, he said,
looking away now, so she couldnt see his face. I can come back at any time, though.
Assuming they dont place me under lock and key after this. Now that Ive found my way
here, theyll have to lock me up if they want to keep me away. From the information, he
amended hastily, in case she got any ideas. Not that she should have, because he certainly
wasnt.
Stupid girl.
Mm. I hope not, the girl murmured sleepily. The wind lifted a lock of her hair
so it fell across his own shoulder, and Sasuke resisted the urge to slap the tingles away.
Stupid girl, he said again, aloud this time, though he made no move to wake
her when she began to snore lightly. He lifted his hand to brush the errant lock of hair
away from his shoulderthe tingling refused to let up, and how was he to know that she
hadnt given him some oddly fragrant, lavender-scented, human sickness, what with the
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way his face refused to stop burningwhen he heard a sudden shout in the distance.
SASUKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!
Sasuke sighed, irrationally disappointed, before raising himself to lean on his
elbows. He knew the sound of idiocy when he heard it. Frowning, he looked at the girl
beside him. Her hands were curled into small fists, her eyes were shutfluttered only
slightly every few momentsher breathing was deep and even.
She was asleep.
He found himself almost hesitant to leave herthis girl with eyes the color of
algae, and hair the color of coral. Shed listened, and hadnt fawned over himhadnt
offered trite reassurances, or paltry altruisms. There were no grabby, twitchy, hands, or
salivating, gaping, mawsin short, she was nothing like any of the other mermaids of the
court.
And, she was leagues away from that harlot Karin, with her disgusting tentacles
and her gleaming red eyes.
For a few momentsbut only thatSakura had even made him forget his
anger.
Hed try again tomorrow, he decided, as he began to swim out to meet his
companions. After all, somewhere, Madara roamed, and Sasukes body would not rest
until He met His end. Sakura, as surprisingly un-unpleasant she might have beenand
really, he was still reserving judgmentwould not change his course.
Still, he decided, it would be nice to see her when he came up for his jaunts, and
she was amusing enough at the very least.
And maybe she was a little charming. Maybe. He wasnt quite sure, yet.
Sasuke swam harder, battling the rising waves with fluid ease. He wished his
thoughts could be silenced as easily.
From here, he could see Nejis disapproving frown, Narutos impatient
jabbering, and Shikamarus tired yawn.
Hm.
Then, he stopped, turned around, and swam back to shore, ignoring Narutos
indignant squawks.
There was something he needed to do first.
***
When she opened her eyes, she was met with blue.
Instantly, she shot up, and looked around. The scent of saltwaterso pungent
yesterdayseemed to have dissipated to its normal levels, and she felt irrationally
disappointed.
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A dream, then, she said softly, as though the lack of vehemenceof
volumebehind the words would make them less true, would assuage the sudden, biting
disappointment.
She stood up gingerly, and brushed the sand away from her dress. Her muscles
ached from sleeping on the sand, and she wondered why no one had thought to look for
her.
It doesnt matter, she said to no one in particular, moving slowly back toward
the village. It would do her no good to stay here, any longer.
She took small steps, reluctant to leave the site of her whimsy, but stopped
abruptly when her foot nudged something cold and metallicquite unlike the grains of
sand that were abundant on the shores around her.
A braceletsilver in color and hauntingly familiarseemed to wink at her in
the sunlight. Beside it, written in what would have passed for a childs shaky hand, were
the words
High Tide.
Slowly, biting back the smile that threatened to engulf her face, Sakura bent
over to pocket the bracelet, and brushed the words away with quick, efficient strokes.
When she finished, she continued along her way, her steps quicker, and decidedly more
focused. She would bathe quickly, and dress warmly, and explain last nights absence
hopefullywith little incident.
She had a date to keep, after all.
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Once upon a time, there lived a simple girl who loved unconditionally and a complicated boy who
survived a tragic past, subsisted in a torturous present, and faced a bleak future. In all the
countless iterations of their star-crossed meetings, there was always something left unsaid, always
something left undone. Be it distance or time that formed the unassailable chasm between them,
these stories, touched by the dark, the somber, and the melancholy, come together as fractured
fairy tales.
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ECTO
Haruno Sakura was runningthere was a skip in her step and a song in her
voice, an unrelenting enthusiasm coloring the way she saw the world as she mapped out
her bright future in her head. She felt like nothing, nothing at all, could go wrong.
Doctor Sakura
She was going to celebrate, throw a party, pig out, light fireworks, and all of her
friends and acquaintances would be invited, hell maybe even her enemies (Sasuke-kuns
junkie friends) too, if only for the chance to gloatthe presence of her name on the list of
accepted students warranted nothing less.
Doctor Sakura HarunoDoctor
Not only would she be studying in the most prestigious university in all of
Japan, but she would also be studying in the most prestigious university in all of Japan
with Sasuke-kun (who, despite having his brain cells fried by various questionable
substances acquired from a shady character named Kabuto, still managed to pass the
exams with minimal studying, flying colors, and a confident smirk). Of course, they
would be studying different courses, but what mattered was that they would be together
again after years of being apart; and maybe maybe, she could manage to worm her way
into his heart this time. It was too bad, however, that Naruto was not able to make it, but
it wasnt like she didnt expect this. There was just no way to get into Tokyo U by just
sheer will alone, no matter how strong the said will was. Sai wouldnt be able to
accompany them either, what with him earning a scholarship in an art school. But at least
she would be alone with Sasuke, just Sasukeno Juugo (whom she would have found
tolerable had he not been bipolar), no Suigetsu, and no Karin. It was practically the
perfect set up for romance! Sure, she was being a bit lame, practically building her future
around a guy she lovedbut hey, at least she would be learning how to save lives by
doing it!
Doctor Sakura Uchiha! Perfect!
Jubilant, she threw up her hands as she gave out a whoop of pure victory.
Today is the first day of the rest of my life.
She was going to Tokyo U, and nothingnothingwas going to stop her.
Nothing except fate, that was.
It was probably her fault more than the driversand ultimately, it was she who
suffered the worst of consequences.
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Trapped in a haze of careless happiness, of blissful ignorance, Sakura failed to
notice the traffic light turning green, did not hear the blaring honking of a horn, did not
see the red car careening towards her, did not even understand that it was her whom all
the people were screaming for.
And the last thing she remembered was white, blinding pain.
***
Oi, forehead girl, you better wake up, were supposed to go shopping this
weekend, remember?
Pigno, Ino Ino, I really want to go, but
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Wake up soon, okay, Sakura?
***
Sakura-chan! Wake up already. Its been a week and its awfully boring
without you and Ill Ill even treat you to ramen if youll just wake up!"
Naruto
Oh, by the way, Sakura-chan, Kakashi-senseis here with me.
Yo.
Kakashi-sensei
***
Honey, your dad and I have to go on a business trip, okay? Well be back
soon. I
Momplease dont go
I really hope youll be awake when we get back. We miss you, dear and
And medical expenses dont exactly come cheap. Now, lets go, were going
to be late for our flight.
Dad! You
Dont be so insensitive! She might still be able to hear you!
Tch.
***
Hag, youre even uglier with pasty skin and sallow cheeks
Sai, you insensitive jerk!
so I think you should do yourself a favor and wake up.
***
Why cantWhy do you always have to be so damn annoying?
Sasuke-kun
II hate you, you know that? I FREAKING hate you!
No Sasuke-ku
Sakura? Sakura! NoSomeone! SomeoneEmergency! Someone get in
here now!
***
Sir, what happened
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I-I
Shes going intoSomeone call Doctor Tsunade, hurry!
Im here, what happened hereoh mySakura
Dr. Tsunade.. Dr. Tsunade! We need your
Right Right. Someone, someone begin compressions, youget the crash
cart. Shizune, defib, charge to 300
Is she gonna be okay? Oi, is she gonna be okay! Im talking to you
What the hell!
Someone get that damn boy out for here.
Sir, you need to go, IIs that alcohol I smellSir! Have you been drinking?
The rules This is
Just get him out of here.
NoNo! Im not going away! I
Then, shut up and stay out of the way, Uchiha! Clear.
Doctor, we have to make him leave, hes
Look, nurse, were in the middle of an emergency. Its hardly the right time to
think about rules. Besides, he wont budge, will you, Sasuke?
No. I wont.
Then
Just shut up and do your job.
I
Alright, ready, clear!
No response. Do it again.
Come on Come on, Sakura...
Clear!
None
Were already losing her
Then get the Trach
Doctor, her father signed a DNR.
I dont careshe
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Tsunade.
RightRight. Just continue compressions thenwe cant
Hey what are you all just standing there for, arent you going to
Dont shout, please!
But youre not doing ANYTHING! Fuck!
Uchiha, stop shouting! Im going to have to ask you to leave.
Arent you going to do anything?
Sir, Im sorry, but the DNR
DNR means we cant do anything else beyond this point, Sasuke. It would be
illegal.
What? No! NoYou cant
Uchiha, I know that its hard butlook, I shes like a daughter to me, okay,
but theres really nothing more we can do so try to understand.
If thats true, then you shouldnt
Doctor, Doctor Tsunade, Im sorry for interrupting, but you need to call the
time of death.
NoNo! Not yet! You cant give up!
Sasuke Im sorry.
But
Doctor
Right. Time of death, 6:08 PM, July 23, 2010.
***
Sakura felt oddly detached as she watched her own coffin descend into the
rectangular hole, white and red roses following in its wake. She stared at it for a long
moment, trying to feel some semblance of grief, but the most she could feel was a sense
of bitter disappointment at how abruptly her life ended.
Thats it? Is that all there is to it? Is my life over now?
She felt like all her dreams were getting buried with the elaborately designed
box that now had tons of dirt piled atop it. Each clod fell with a dull thud, every one of
them making her think of the things she would miss out on.
Thud. Family. Thud. Friends. Thud. Tokyo U. Thud. Med School. Thud. Work.
Thud. Marriage. Thud. Love. Thud. Sasuke.
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The more dirt piled up, the less she could see of her coffin, the container that
held her mortal body. Sighing, she turned away from the depressing sight and watched
the people gathered around the hole.
Her mothers segmented sobs were resonating throughout the empty cemetery
and Sakura could hear her father whispering words of comfort, though his voice didnt
sound very convincing either. Her father always seemed like a cold, stoic man, but
Sakura knew that he really did love his family and that his gruff exterior was really just
all bluster. She could only imagine how much it hurt for them to lose their only child.
She felt guilty, too, that she got careless and caused them to feel this grief. But they
would be okay, eventually. They would probably just pour all their focus into work, as
always. They would be too busy to grieve, and eventually the pain would dull, if not
completely disappear. The thought hurt a bit, but for their sake, she certainly hoped it
would be the case.
She turned her attention to her friends and classmates. Naruto and Kakashi-
sensei were standing beside her parents, looking rather grim. Ino was crying silently as
she clutched at Shikamaru for support. Chouji stood at the side, looking rather
uncomfortable. Lee had come, along with Tenten and Neji. Hinata was also there,
standing alongside Shino and Kiba. Some of her other classmates were there too, even
those whom she wasnt particularly close to. Doctor Tsunade was also present, and so
was her assistant, Shizune. There were a lot of other people there too, some of whom
she knew and some she didnt, which was surprising in itself because she wasnt exactly
very popular.
Still, there were some people who were missing.
Sai, for one, was not there. But then, she never did know where she stood with
that apathetic boy who called her hag and ugly on a regularly basis. She always
thought they were friends despite the name-calling but she supposed she really should
have expected this. The guy was a jerk, after all. Besides, hed probably just call her
corpse ugly, and that simply wasnt something she wanted to hear.
Another person was also conspicuously absent, but thinking about it hurt so
much that she stopped that train of thought immediately.
Sighing, she closed her eyes and looked away. Of course he wouldnt come
But then, the familiar sight of dark hair and pale skin caught her eyes, and
despite the grim finality of the ceremony she was currently the subject of, she smiled.
So we really were friends, after all.
Sai was sitting on a distant grave, pencil in hand, his tall frame hunched as he
sketched furiously over the sketchbook on his lap.
What Sakura could not see, however, was the lone figure standing at the
cemetery gates. Unable to take a single step forward, the man clutched at the metal bars
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so hard that his knuckles turned white, almost like a prisoner staring longingly at his last
hope of freedom as it went further beyond his reach.
***
Dont worry, little girl, its not the end of the world.
Yeah, just the end of my life, thought Sakura sullenly as she nodded absently
and gave her thanks. The other ghosts had come up to her one by one to welcome her
into the afterlife. What irked her was the fact that they were all unusually cheerful about
the fact that she was deadit was, it was morbid, to say the least, and it angered her
beyond belief.
How could they even suggest that I should just accept this and move on?
Sighing tiredly, Sakura plopped down on the grass beside her tombstone and
propped her elbows on the cool gray stone, resting her chin on her hands.
Sakura Haruno
March 28, 1992 July 23, 2010
The installation of her tombstone earlier that day had given her a sense of
finality that had been missing on the first few days of her death. At first, it had been
surreal. It felt like she was just dreaming. Even as the days dragged on, she felt like she
would just wake up anytime in her old room. She waited and waited for her alarm clock
to ring, even as the days dragged into weeks and then into months. Still, she clung to
hope stubbornly, telling herself that it was inevitable for her alarm clock to ring.
But seeing her name engraved on the polished stone had changed all that.
Suddenly, it occurred to her that her whole life was defined by the time between
those two dates. Everythingher birth, her first steps, her first words, her first day at
school, her accomplishments, her essays, her exams, her admission to the university, her
deathwas neatly enclosed by the words March 28, 1992 and July 23, 2010. It was like
all the things she did, her victories and her defeats, her joys, and her pains were crammed
into that tiny, inconsequential dash between the day of her birth and the day of her death.
Dead by the age of 18ironic, really. The possibility of death had never
crossed her mind. Oh, she knew it was inevitable, but she was never inclined to show
concern about it. She was well aware that some people yearned for it. Thinking of it as
an escape, they sought death to the point of taking their own lives. But Sakura was never
one of them. Life, to her, was a long-term commitment. She had it measured out in
decades, her goals marked neatly and precisely in the timeline, all building up to the
eventual fulfillment of her own purpose.
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Her purpose in life was to become someone worthy of Sasukeshe believed
this with such ardent ferocity that she had forgone all those little things in life that a
person should enjoy. Friendship, romance, adventurethose had all taken a backseat to
her studies, her ambitions, her dreams; and all because Sasuke, the guy she was just
crushing on back then, told her (quite condescendingly) that she was wasting her brain on
lipstick and dresses.
It was a shocker, mainly because the only reason why she traded her books and
pens in for lipstick and dresses in the first place was so he would notice her. She looked
rather plain compared to the other girls, see, and she thought it was impossible for him to
actually look at her if she wasnt pretty. Well, it worked, in a wayhe did notice her,
just not the way she wanted him to.
It was difficult for her to ease into the role of cute and confident teen, having
been a rather shy and awkward child who was prone to being bullied. The only way she
really managed to do so was because Ino, who was naturally cute and confident, helped
her. The whole transition took up a lot of effort for her, especially since she inwardly
believed that reading books was far more interesting than combing her hair. She also felt
dirty every time she showed prejudice against the uncool members of the school,
especially since she was one of them before. But it was absolutely necessary to hang out
with the right crowd if she wanted to be somebody.
Eventually, she became so good at pretending to be someone else that it became
second nature to her. At that point, fate (or rather, Naruto) started to intervene and she
actually had several opportunities to interact with Sasuke. And when she actually
became confident enough to ask Sasuke out for a date, he simply called her annoying
and walked away. She felt devastated. But after a while, she realized that it was okay
because, by rejecting cute and confident Sakura, he practically gave her the license to
be herself again.
She could be herself againand the knowledge of this made her feel free.
So, abandoning the lipstick and dresses cult and throwing herself into her
studies, she gradually shed the mask she had built up over the years and ultimately
became much happier.
She allowed herself to admit that, though he had a disgusting tendency to inhale
Ramen, Naruto was actually a pretty cool person. She also resolved to be nicer Lee,
though she could never really return his affection. Sasuke began warming up to her too,
and she managed to build a rather shaky friendship with him. He still called her
annoying, but there was something different about it, something that almost seemed
affectionate. Spending time with him also taught her that there was so much more to
Sasuke than just brains and looks, and this knowledge sneakily crept up behind her
crush and turned it into a full-blown love.
All in all, she had not completely found her true self just yet, but she was getting
there.
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The only problem was that by the time her life was beginning to undergo some
real improvements, his had begun going down. She didnt really understand completely
how it happened; only that he began to visit the shadier districts of the city more and
more often until he actually upped and left her and Naruto, choosing instead to hang out
with a rather shifty posse that everyone dubbed Hebi.
It was unbelievable; she couldnt accept that Sasuke, who was smart, handsome,
talented, and kind (even though the kindness was buried under a lot of rudeness), would
fall so low. The only explanation she could come up with was that he was somehow
doing it not because he wanted to, but because he somehow believed that he had to.
She resolved then that she would help him. He freed her, so she would free him
too.
Except when she did offer her opinions, help, and (quite embarrassingly) her
love (her whole heart, really), she was met with a rude rebuttal and an odd speech about
the two them being too different and having different paths.
But then, he also thanked her, and that was enough for her to know that
somewhere underneath all the bravado, the boy she fell in love with still existed.
She wanted that boy back, and nothing, nothing, was going to stop her.
However, to get him to listen, she first had to turn into someone he couldnt
ignore someone worthy.
She didnt know how to go about the whole becoming worthy thing, so she did
the best she could at what she was really good at. Abandoning lipstick and dresses
completely, she practically became nerdiness personified. She couldnt count how
many times she declined an invitation to a party just so she could put in some extra time
for studying. While her friends were out on dates, she was at home reading her
textbooks. Adopting an almost dangerous single-mindedness and focusing completely on
her studies; her grades skyrocketed and, after being caught in a corner crying (for Sasuke
and how hes gone and far away and stillstillstill beyond her reach, even after everything)
right after she aced an exam, she eventually gained the attention of Doctor Tsunade.
Under Doctor Tsunades tutelage, Sakura finally discovered what she wanted to
do besides being the wife of Sasuke
She wanted to be a doctor.
She wanted to save lives. She wanted to matter. She wanted to be like Doctor
Tsunade who saved people on a daily basis
And Tokyo University was her first big step on achieving that goal.
But Sakura died, she died without even stepping foot inside the gates of Tokyo
University.
Her death had been something mundane. A car accidentit was just a fluke,
just another statistic. It wouldve been nice if she had died by pushing a child out of
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harms way and getting hit by the car instead. But no, her death had been borne out of
her own stupidity. It happened because she forgot to look both ways before crossing the
street.
Death was something she didnt want. Some people wished for death, so why
couldnt they have gone in her stead? She was fully willing to take on the challenge of
life, so why was she the one booted from the game?
Somehow, she felt cheated.
Those eighteen years between March 28, 1992 and July 23, 2010
In the end, what were they all for?
***
The afterlife, Sakura eventually found out, was surprisingly pleasant.
It was just like life, but unbound by anything physical. In fact, it was almost like
living in a limitless dream. So even if she did have an issue about dying young, her
idyllic life (or afterlife) in the cemetery was a good enough distraction. After all, it was
hard to sulk when one spent her days having ectoplasmic tea parties with kind old ladies.
Indeed, the afterlife was good.
There was, however, a catch.
The afterlife has its levels. Souls can transcend, so to speak, from one level to
the next one or even skip through some levels, depending on the circumstances.
The highest level involves a state wherein the soul is one with everything.
This, of course, is everyones goal, whether they know it or not. It takes a ridiculous
amount of effort to just reach this plane, so very few have managed to do so. Also, the
idea of being one with everything seems unbearably boring, so most souls dont even
bother to try. What they dont know is that being one with everything has its own
perks, one of them being the ability to manipulate nature and mete out some judgment
on some unsuspecting mortals in the form of Surprise!Volcanoes and
Instant!Typhoons. However, to reach the highest plane, one has to be mature enough
to not abuse such powers, so its all nil, really.
The next level involves living a life, or rather, an afterlife of servitude to a
mortal or to a fellow spirit. One can say that this simply means being an angelbut for
the sake of being politically (or religiously) correct, this title is still unofficial. Of course,
one can also go the exact opposite way and live an afterlife devoted entirely to mischief
or evil and be a devil. The latter, however, is mostly discouraged. The downside of
this level is that the soul will be bound to his charge for an indefinite amount of time,
depending on how satisfactory the souls performance is.
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The third level involves simply living the afterlifewhich is basically just
life that is uncomplicated by mundane matters like food and sleep and well shit.
This level speaks of an attachment to life that is still far too strong to allow any
transcendence. While this may seem entirely fun, what with the impossibility of feeling
any physical pain or falling into poverty and the comfortable sense of normalcy in it all,
there are still some consequences. For one, the soul cant go too far from the object that
binds him or her to mortal life, i.e. the corpse/ashes.
The last level involves spirits with unfinished business. They are the most
unfortunate. Trapped in a sort of limbo, these souls wander the earth, denying their own
deaths and at the same time making a mockery of their lives. These are the souls who
lived in hella hell that they have created for themselves.
Sakura learned all of this from Chiyo, a kind old lady who lived in a neighboring
grave. Chiyo died more than a century earlier, but she had yet to transcend to the second
stage, mainly because there was something she was trying to avoidfinding out about
the fate of an errant grandson whom she loved and took care of but was unable to help.
Like Chiyo, Sakura was in the third stage. Though, she supposed it was
understandable because she was still just a newly-dead. She wanted to transcend into the
next stage because then, she might finally be able to really help Sasuke. Besides,
wouldnt it just be romantic if she could be his angel, even if it was in the literal sense?
Hell, shed be damned if she had to help him find a wife though. Just the thought of
doing so was enough to send her into a fit of raging jealousy. Ugh, and she knew for a
fact that the bastard had some sick plans of marrying a broodmare and have ten or so
kids. There was absolutely no way that she could sit through all of that vigorous
breeding, much less smile benignly while doing so.
So, no, she would not be able to become an angel unless she managed to shake
off her romantic love for him and really just love him unconditionallywhich was
extremely hard.
Or she could just be a devil and hate him completely, but she had a feeling that
this was even harder.
So for now, she had to be content with staying where she wasthe third stage.
It wasnt so bad, really. The third stage was quite fun, especially since she loved
conversing with the other ghosts. Some of them came from very interesting time periods,
so she was privy to some of the best history lessons. There really never was a boring
moment.
Her friends visited her once in a while too, so she wasnt too lonely. Naruto and
Ino were particularly nice, visiting about once a week, often providing humorous, if one-
sided, conversation. Her parents, or sometimes just her mom, also tended to visit about
twice every month, always bringing a bouquet of flowers. Kakashi visited her every
other day, but only because her grave was located conveniently close to that of someone
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named Rin. Judging by the lack of spiritual presence on the grave, though, she assumed
that this Rin person already transcended to the next level. Briefly, she wondered if this
Rin person was the one hovering over Kakashi, watching over him.
There was, however, a more regular visitor than even Kakashi, though she could
argue that his visits werent really visits, per se. Sai went to the cemetery every single
day, but he would usually just stay on some random grave and sketch.
She didnt understand what he was doing, really. She was curious, but she had
no way of finding out. Sai sat outside the boundaries set by her attachment to her own
corpse, so she could not get close enough to him to learn anything.
Sai wasnt the only one who made daily visits, but Sakura did not know that,
what with the cemetery gates being too distant from her grave.
***
Having been in the afterlife for more than seven months already, Sakura had
successfully managed to find her rhythm. She was always a fast learner, so blending into
the whole ghost lifestyle was hardly difficult for her. Her afterlife actually fell into a
stable routine: during mornings, she would practice her ectoplasm-manipulation skills so
that she could finally make her own tea, among other things. During the afternoon, she
would have tea parties/gossip sessions/history lessons with the granny ghosts, by
sundown, she would watch as Sai took up a position in any of the distant graves and work
somberly on his sketchpad. This was her routine, and it was broken only by the
occasional visit from a friend.
Whenever she had a guest, whether it was Naruto, Ino, her mom, or Kakashi,
she would usually sit beside that person and reminisce.
Her lifethe longer she stayed in the afterlife, the more distant and dream-like
it seemed.
Sometimes, she had a hard time believing that she actually was flesh and blood
before. In fact, if her friends didnt visit and if Sai did not come to sketch, shed have
been inclined to think that maybe her life really was just a dream, that it didnt really
happen.
But what worried her was that, because of his absence, she was starting to think
that Sasuke Uchiha did not really exist.
Maybe, maybe, he was just a figment of her imagination. Surely, surely, nobody
could be as perfect as she seemed to remember him.
The more time she spent away from him (and not him away from herbecause
that was a different matter, him leaving her, it was different), the less she found herself
thinking of him.
One time, she jolted in surprise when, last November, Naruto mentioned his
name.
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Do you do you remember when we were kids, Sakura-chan? The bastard
was so uptight and serious that we could hardly have a decent conversation with him.
It took her a few seconds to realize that, by bastard, Naruto was referring to
Sasukeand those few seconds unnerved her.
Then, she remembered fondly a deep voice saying Hn and Ah, and for the
first time in quite a while, she felt her knees go weak.
Well, hes not like that anymore. Sasukes talkative now a bit too talkative.
And not in a nice way too. Hes usually just bragging about something or another or just
delivering an insult or something its hes different now, Sakura-chan even
Suigetsu, Karin, and Juugo think so. You remember them, right? Those kids Sasuke
hung out with after he abandoned us? Well, he abandoned them too... Sasukehes
really different now.
And when she heard that, she felt a deep pain, one such that she never knew
could be experienced in the afterlife. She felt like she was being split open, like she was
leaving her own skin. It was agonizing, a stark contrast to the serene calm of her
everyday routine. It made her feel restless, it made her want to leave the cemetery and go
look for Sasuke, to wake him up and tell him that he shouldnt have to do things like that,
and to hug him, and to tell him that he didnt have to be alone
But then, she realized that he might not even remember her and, judging by his
absence, he might not even care for her at all and this made her bitter and angry (never
mind that sheof all peopleconveniently forgot that there was an actual difference
between him-leaving-her and her-leaving-him. Blind to the double-standards that she
imposed upon herself and on Sasuke, the truth, and transcendence, slipped further away
from Sakura).
Come February, Naruto was saying different things.
Cigarettes, Sakura-chan! Can you imagine that? Sasuke smokes! Just last
year it was drugs and alcohol, now he has to add cigarettes to his bad boy resume too!
There are even some rather nasty rumors about him joining that notorious Akatsuki
gang! And you know what those guys do, Sakura-chan theyre worse than the
Yakuza.
She could hear the sadness and the concern for their friend in Narutos tone, and
she had felt slightly guilty at the realization that it had been quite a while since she felt
the same emotions for Sasuke.
Contentment was abundant in the afterlife, so much so that it easily muffled any
thoughts about a troubled boy from a previous life. When her own world was so neat and
orderly and routine, it was difficult to think about someone who had made a complete
mess of his, especially when that someone was nowhere to be seen (but really just beyond
the gates, if only she cared to look).
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Sakura was simply so content, so comfortable, that she hardly thought of
becoming a doctor, or becoming worthy, or even of transcending and becoming an
angel.
But if she had known how much the troubled boy really needed those thoughts
(though he would never really admit it to anyone), stranded as he was in the gateway
between life and death, forever clutching at iron bars that would never give, maybe she
would have clung tighter to her goals and tried harder, rejected her stagnancy and moved.
***
Sakuras birthday was a very enjoyable affair. She wondered once whether she
should consider her death day as her birthday, considering that she was in the afterlife,
after all. However, the other ghosts discouraged her, saying that birthdays were still
different.
Her day started out perfectly nice, with several guests coming and leaving
flowers. Her parents were the first to come, and then Naruto, then Ino, and then a group
of her classmates came, then Kakashi (who brought flowers for her too, this time), and
then finally, Doctor Tsunade and her assistant, Shizune.
The afternoon tea party with the granny ghosts was something special too, since they not
only made ectoplasmic tea, but they also made ectoplasmic cookies (which are harder and
more complicated to create).
Then, by sundown, she settled on her grave to watch as Sai would pick a random
grave and start sketching againonly, this time, he didnt do such a thing. Instead of
picking a spot and sitting down, he went straight to Sakuras grave and just stood there,
fixing his gaze on the headstone.
Sakura was speechless. This new development was discomfiting, to say the least.
Hag.
And oh God, he was speaking out loud.
I dont know if ghosts are real or if youre even there. But
He sighedhe sighedSai sighed! This really was becoming too surprising for
Sakura, who never heard the boy standing in front of her say something that wasnt an
insult, much less sigh as if speaking was actually difficult for him. Really, was this the
same Sai who called her ugly and had an odd fixation on man-parts?
Im not good at this. So Ill just show you.
Sakura leaned forward eagerly, her curiosity brimming.
Sai, however, merely took his sketchbook and opened it to the first page,
causing Sakura to gasp in surprise as she realized what it was.
Slightly faded but obviously done with great skill was a sketch of her 14-year
old self, smiling.
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Then, before Sakura could examine it further, Sai turned to page two, which had
a sketch of Sakura sitting at the docks, looking contemplatively at the lake.
Page three was a rough sketch of her with an angry expression, body poised to
strike a punch.
Page four was another sketch of her, and so was page five, and page six, page
seven, and page eight.
By page twenty-two, Sakura already knew what to expect.
The next five sketches were all of her on the hospital bed, all drawn with an
uncharacteristically heavy hand, defined by hard, unforgiving strokes, all far less fine and
far less perfect than the previous drawings.
The last page, however, was empty, but not clean. There were traces of pencil
markings that were erased and redone and erased once again. Lines, circles, squares, all
of them just traces, all smudged out, erased. The paper was even torn in some places,
thinned out and eroded by constant rubbing.
By the time Sai closed the sketchbook, Sakura was unabashedly gaping. This
was not what she expected at all. Hadnt he always called her ugly and hag? Why,
why
So yeah, I guess what Im saying is that I like you II didnt understand it
at first and I dont even know if I understand it now or if I ever will, but
Sai looked as expressionless as ever, but the smile on his face seemed hard at the
edges somehow, like he was fighting hard to maintain it.
I havent been able to draw anything at all for the past months.
That time, Sai really did frown, and this unsettled Sakura more than any of his
insults ever had.
You know how important art is to me. The moment I could no longer see you,
I justI just stopped drawing. I tried to, but I couldnt. So if your death affected me and
my art this much, then I probably really do love you
Sakura inhaled sharply at that, unable to believe her ears.
But the thing is, this cant continue. So
Sai bent down and placed the sketchbook beside Sakuras gravestone, his hand
pausing once, as if hesitant, before he finally let go.
Im leaving this here. As difficult as it is for me to part with this sketchbook,
I realize that its something I need to do. Think of it as a birthday gift; my offering to
you. I cant stay stagnant, and I need to learn how to draw once more. It will be hard,
but I will move on. I need to move on.
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Again, Sai let out a shuddering sigh, and Sakura was struck by how unused she
was to the melancholic sound.
I wont come back after today. Honestly, I dont even know if I can achieve
that, if I can leave you alone, but Ill certainly try my hardest.
Then, with visible effort, Sai smiled.
So I suppose this is the last time, he said, extending a pale hand and brushing
it against the cool grey stone, Goodbye uglNo. Goodbye, Sakura.
Sai turned around then and Sakura could only watch his retreating back.
She wouldnt deny it it felt nice to be loved, even if she couldnt return it.
Somehow, she was able to view her life in a different light, like it was less of a failure
than she initially thought.
Before she could contemplate more about the developments, however, a voice
broke into her reverie.
Tch, dont tell me you were wooed by that, Sakura.
Its been ages since she heard that voice, but since it was the very last sound she
heard as a living being, she knew that she would never forget it or mistake it for anything
else.
Abruptly turning around, she gasped out, her heart doing a complete somersault
as she realized that he was looking directly at her.
Did this mean that he, too, was
Sasuke-kun!
He looked different somehow. He was still wearing his signature black shirt,
complete with the Uchiha fan, but he was gaunter and leaner. Dark circles accentuated
his eyes and his hair seemed more disheveled. But even more than that, there was
something different in the way Sasuke felt. He seemed to be weary of the world, like he
carried a huge weight on his shoulders. Even if he was wearing the same arrogant
expression that he always had back when they were young, there was something that
changed, something that made it seem bitter.
You did promise that you would love me with all your heart, Sakura.
I
Dont you think its a bit wrong for you to be blushing like that?
Sakuras hand snapped up to her cheeks then, an automatic gesture meant to feel
the heat that would no longer be there, not when she was a ghost.
Tch, who am I kidding? His face crumpled in the closest imitation of regret
that she has ever seen him display. I killed you, Sakura. How can you still love me after
that?
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Sasuke-kun, you didnt kill me. I
Sakura, Sakura, Sakura even as a drug-induced hallucination, youre still
trying to convince me that theres some good in me. Its touching, really. But its
stupid.
Sasuke chuckled darkly, a sound that lacked mirth more than anything else.
Youre so annoying, so nave. But then, I always liked that about you. You
almost made me believe that there was actually some good left in me tooalmost.
Sakura was too shocked to say anything else. She didnt know what to react to:
Sasuke saying that he actually liked something about her or his thinking that she was a
drug-induced hallucination.
I wasnt kidding when I told you that I hate you. I really do. You, with your
unwavering devotion, made me weak. Always, always, pulling me back, keeping me
grounded, keeping me from my own goalsyou were the most annoying distraction
ever.
Sasuke-kun
And then, and then, you just had to be stupid enough to get yourself hit by a
car. Did you ever stop to think about how I would feel if the last person in the world who
really loved me fell into a coma? Did you?
His voice was rising to a crescendo, and Sakura found herself flinching, never
really comfortable with facing the brunt of his temper.
Well if you did, then you wouldve been able to do something as simple as
looking both ways before you crossed the street, hm?
Again, he chuckled, and the emptiness of it made Sakura shudder.
Was it really too much to ask for you to stay alive? With all your heart, you
said, but then you couldnt even keep yourself alive. You even had the gall to die on my
birthday. Isnt that funny, Sakura?
She knew that there was something incredibly contradictory with Sasukes
words. One minute he was blaming himself for killing her and the next hes talking as
if its her own fault that she died. It was absurd, really, and quite undeserved on her part.
She was already beginning to feel some resentment creep into her heart. How dare he,
really? It wasnt like she wanted to die.
Did you think it was funny? Did you think it was funny to leave me like they
did?
Sakura never believed anyone whenever they made a comment on how
precariously close to insanity Sasuke was, but now she was inclined to second-guess
herself. His thoughts were just so disjointed
Was it revenge?
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NoNo, Sasuke-kun, I would never
Did you do it because you hate me too?
No, Sasuke-kun, no, II love you, I still love you, so much
Sasuke closed his eyes, his features softening, smoothing out into a mask of
contentment.
That sounds so nice, Sakura, just as sweet as the first one. I wouldnt mind
listening to that forever. Do you know how many times I replayed your confession in my
head whenever I felt like I couldnt go on? It made me feel like I would always have
something to go back to.
When he opened his eyes, however, she saw that they were flinty, cold, and
hateful.
So how do you think I took it when I heard about what happened to you?
Thats not fair at all, Sasuke-kun, you never gave me any indication that you
really cared about me so I
Would it have made any difference if I did?
I
Are you really stupid enough to think that you didnt matter to me? Think,
Sakura, think. I have nobody, nobody at all. Im sad, Im angry, Im aloneThen
suddenly, you appear. You shower me with attention, you think about me and care about
me and you top it all off with a love declaration. You gave me what I wanted, but not
what I needed. You made me happy, but happy was not what I should be if I was ever
to fulfill my goal. I was never supposed to be content until I had my revenge. You, by
your love, made my life a mocking combination of heaven and hell.
Sasukes tone was scathing, and Sakura could only recoil, unsure of what to feel
about this new piece of information.
So did you really think it was easy for me to leave you, the only semblance of
normalcy in my life, for a future that was sure to be bleak and a road that led only to
destruction? Do the math, Sakura. How much is a penny worth to a beggar? How much
is it worth to a millionaire? Did you, with your family and friends and your bright future,
ever stop to think that my departure hurt me more than it hurt you?
Sakura reeled, feeling guilty for the fact that the possibility never crossed her
mind.
And you had to make things worse by continuing to chase me. Sure, it made
me happy that you still loved me, but at the same time, it frustrated me, because I
couldnt, I shouldntI was conflicted, Sakura. It was torture. You made me go through
the whole painful process of rejecting happiness over and over again.
You shouldve told me this befo
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and what? Make things harder for myself? Dont be stupid.
And what about me? the still-selfish part of her wanted to ask. All the while, I
thought you hated me. I was hurt too
But Sasuke-kun, if it hurt you so much, then why did you leave in the first
place? Couldnt you just have stayed and accepted what we could have had? We could
have been happy.
You wouldnt understand.
But
Look, it doesnt matter anymore, he cut her off. Im getting tired of this
conversation anyway. So, you, dear figment of my imagination, should just disappear
and leave me be. Ive already reached new lows just by playing out that little fantasy
where you say that you still love me in my head. Heh. Pathetic, really. Im so damn
pathetic.
Sasuke-kun
Disappear already, damn it! I knew I shouldnt have trusted Kabuto on those
pills
Then, it all clicked together
Of course, his sudden openness that verged on word-vomit, his uncharacteristic
willingness to divulge his feelings and thoughts, his ability to see her, to talk to her, his
thinking that she was just a figment of his imagination, a drug-induced hallucinationall
of these could only mean one thing: Sasuke really was dead, but he didnt know it.
A restless spiritSasuke became a restless spirit.
He was living in his own hell.
The thought in itself filled Sakura with so much agony that she felt like she
would burst with it. If only she had done more, if only she wasnt so selfish, if only she
had tried harder, if only she knew, if only, if only, if only
It was tragic and unfair and unbelievably wrong, that Sasuke who suffered so
much in life would continue to suffer in the afterlife.
All those months that she had whittled away in a contented haze suddenly
seemed trivial to her in the face of this bitter truth: that this, this broken, messed-up soul
in front of her This was her Sasuke-kun, and he was suffering so
If she could do anything, anything at all to make things different, she would.
She just she just wanted him to be happy.
She wanted to cry out to someone, anyone, help him, help him please. Save
him. Help him.
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But the world fell quiet, and she was left there, staring at Sasuke as he walked
away, so alone and so despondent and so wrong.
Then, realization struck her
She could try.
She wasnt sure if she was strong enoughthe task just seemed so
monumentalbut she at least had to try.
She was ready. It was time.
Here, idyllic afterlifeit meant nothing to her.
She would leave it, leave it and not look back, no matter how difficult the road
ahead would be.
She would transcend, comfort be damned.
It would hurt
But she would do it
For him.
For Sasuke-kun
***
And then she grew wings.
La Carestia
And when he opened the third seal, I heard the beast say, Come and see. And I
beheld, and lo a black horse; and he that sat on him had a pair of balances in his hand.
Book of the Revelations
Chapter Six
I.
July 23, 2011 Anno Domini
15,000 AND RISING: WHITE DEATH PLAGUE
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HAKU MOMOCHI, at the young age of 13, had succumbed to the deadly grip of
strain SS-6975 known as the White Death that had also claimed thousands of lives in a
span of half a year. The incidence of this disease, which could be passed through droplets
and inoculation, had risen to pandemic proportions, affecting 30 countries in a span of
two months.
The spread of White Death occurred in Saint Wendel Hospital, Alchsbach,
Germany. The hospital confined two civilians, Maito Gai and Yakushi Kabuto, both
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Japanese immigrants, who suddenly complained of migraines after a horse-back riding
session. After a brief consultation and series of laboratory tests, compulsory
implementation of quarantine followed when massive bleeding in different mucosal
orifices suddenly occurred. After a few days, their internal organs were found
PLANE CRASH KILLS SARUTOBI, CREW IN APPENNINES
DOCTOR SARUTOBI ASUMA BME, MD. died yesterday in a plane crash near
the edges of Genoa Gulf, located at the Pyrnes-Orientales, France. When investigators
examined the site, the planes aircrafts black box was said to be missing; and foul play
was suspected. The Police said they had already apprehended three suspects, but refused
to disclose further information.
The 78 year old CEO and founder of the Sarutobi Pharmaceuticals was the lead
researcher and developer for the vaccines of SS-6975 strain, The White Death
***
He sat idly on the cold basalt, back leaning against the even bricks as
mismatched eyes looked upon the highly revered Caput Mundi, where even now, at the
very precipice of cultured humanity, it still loomed over the sleeping world, unknowingly
dark and powerful.
It was still as resplendent as ever, ageless and incomparable, this eternal city,
staring at the blanket of smog that covered the metropolis. The dark cloud hovering over
it was so thick that the tips of the sixty four colonnades were barely visible and the
central obelisk was the one that pierced it. It made the city seem more ominous than
usual, more deadly, more depraved, as if it was made of shadows and shades and nothing
else.
He shifted, the granite biting the skin of his nape. And the awareness of how
rare this would be, to soak in the image of skylights and dark waters, glinting innocently,
filled him with a sense of elation. His contributions would be finished soon. The fruits
of his efforts would
An angel once appeared on the castle roofs, the trespasser started, with a
tinkling laugh. He flashed a sword of fire to announce the end of a plague. Ironic, to
meet you here, isnt it, Kakashi?
At the sound of his name, he sat up and looked at the intruder. Nobody spoke
his name with that much familiarity, except forof course, Mikoto, who was now sitting
over the ledge in a white knee-length dress as she swayed her bare feet, gazing at him
with those wide gray eyes, like the personification of innocence, of purity.
Hypocrite.
She was a sham, a sham he used to love.
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He no longer felt anything for this viper but disdain, a burning hatred, well-
hidden, yes, but still as strong as ever. And it would never be quenched. Never, not after
what she did. There would never be any forgiveness for Pandora, the first woman in
their order, who was ecstatically curious to open the box of ills, releasing every kind of
horror in this world. Sarutobi and Jiraiyahis colleagues, friends, almost fatherly
figureswere the ones who tried to stop it, but it was futile as it was orders from the
immortal above.
Mikoto might be playing the minority in this so called divine-plan, but she was
unrepentant for starting the end of time.
Still, he could not deny that she looked as beautiful as ever. Not even pregnancy
had marred her looks.
Thats only a myth.
You dont need to be wary of me. I came in peace, her whisper was breathy,
patient and empathic. He was your mentor. Surely you feel a twinge of guilt.
It seemed as if she could read his thoughts as she gave him a knowing smile,
before gesturing to the little bundle she held in her arms.
She held a frail looking infant with a patch of black hair. As the tiny fist was
being suckled, twin eyes of jet black stared naively at him. The mere macabre image of a
dead innocent was all he could think of to keep himself from slaughtering the child then
and there, ending the sorry chain of events.
Trying to smother the impulse, he stood up and did not even bother to confirm
her satisfied expression. Instead, he gazed at the angelic structures that carried nails,
thorn crowns and whips, alight in unearthly iridescence.
Of course I do, he said after a long pause. In fact, Im going to his grave this
afternoon. Doctor Namikaze and his wife will be there at 1 pm. Do you want to come?
Ah, the childless couple?
There was a pleased lilt when she mentioned them, as if there was a clandestine
arrangement made especially for them. A pity that theyll have to wait for five more
years before their wish comes true, in the expense of their lives anddear me, are you
trying to change thno, I wont call it changing the topic. A pale finger waggled, as if
admonishing a wayward brat, almost luminescent in the darkest of evenings. Youre just
oversimplifying it. Dont think I dont know what youre up to. Your emotions run
deeper than that.
She was smiling at him playfully, deceivingly pure, and yet, with that simple
sentence, she sent him a very important message: you cannot lie to me. As it was, he
couldnt help but return her smile with his own sly grin.
Fiat iustitia et pereat mundus.
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His own voice sounded remote to him. Speaking in Latin always made him too
aware of his status, his profession, his mask, his own part in this grim charade that would
ultimately lead to the worlds
There you go again, hiding behind your scholarly Latin phrases. She laughed,
her voice tinkling like chimes on a windy night. Explain it to me. Im not quite as well-
versed in Latin as the most erudite, Kakashi.
Im just saying that I did what had to be done, he said as he turned away from
her, and he wondered whether it was possible to believe ones own lie. It would certainly
be easier.
(Let there be justice, though the world perish.)
How awfully appropriate, Mikoto remarked contemplatively.
Kakashi said nothing, the conversation ending as his companion turned her
attention to the infant who was just beginning to stir. Silence engulfed them for a while,
broken only by the infants weak crying.
He takes after Fugaku. He tried to keep the bitterness out of his remark.
No, she said, her long spindly fingers tickling the infants stomachshe
reminded him of the witches in fairytales, those demon females that devoured children.
He watched her in the corner of his eye, and he could barely suppress his shudder at the
words which she uttered in the lowest of whispers. They were almost inaudible, but they
were deafening in their truth,
Hes mine.
The sound of a shattering wail filled the air then, disrupting the unusual stillness.
The boy was hungry, dark head tossing and turning on his mothers bosom in
disdain.
Kakashi noticed, but he knew it would be futile to remind Mikoto.
She would not feed the child. Not yet.
II.
August 11, 2019 Anno Domini
WAR, JAPAN FINALLY CONQUERS WESTERN UNION
OSLO, NORWAYwas the last Scandinavian city to fall as General Sai of the
Imperial Japanese Army invaded Europe. Troops marched on the ruins of the dilapidated
Oslotrikken with many of the wounded rounded up by Japanese soldiers.
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Many countries, after witnessing the destruction caused by the Japanese
Vermillion, an encapsulated nuclear head
***
The eight-year old Uchiha Sasuke stood over an open grave, mentally
calculating its dimensions, six feet in length, six feet in height, six
You shouldnt stand too close to the edge, you know.
If he heard the words, he gave no indication.
Father Kakashi said that
I dont care about what Kakashi said, he cut her off rudely, with the faintest
trace of loathing. He wished she would just leave him be. Kakashi had introduced them
both earlier that day, and if his initial judgment of her personality was right, then the
chances of her just leaving him alone were close to nil.
As it was, she only moved closer to him and stood by his side.
Without looking at him, she spoke, Yeah, well, neither do I.
As if proving her claim, she moved closer to the edge, sat down, and let her feet
dangle. Father Kakashi saw me doing this earlier, and he got really mad, she said
offhandedly, trying to sound nonchalantly.
For a moment, it seemed like he would lapse into another silence.
Theyre going to bury my mother here this afternoon. He pointed to another
open grave a few feet away, My father, there.
For no reason that her childish logic could possibly comprehend, fear gripped
her.
She stood up abruptly and backed several steps away from the grave.
You Sasuke craned his neck to look at her then, and in a disdainful tone,
are annoying.
It had occurred to her, belatedly, that what she did might have been a little bit
rude. But before she could explain or even utter a quick apology, he had already walked
away. And all she could do was watch his back.
***
Haruno Sakura was not one for watching arguments.
In fact, she would much rather be miles away from one. She wanted peace,
peace and harmony andokay, so she just did not want to be punished.
Kakashi sat on the tall cushioned chair behind his desk, while Sasuke was on the
stiff wooden chair designated for guests, or more commonly, for errant students. Sakura
was off to a corner watching them, hoping that neither would take notice of her.
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No.
She groaned at the mulish refusal, and wished, not for the first time that day, that
the boy would just give in and, more importantly, not relay the incident that happened
earlier. Father Kakashi would be mad if he found out that she had gone back to the
empty graves.
Sasuke, I fail to see how you have any say in the matter.
I am not staying in the same roof as her. Sakura visibly flinched at the finger
that was hatefully pointed at her.
Kakashi raised a fine eyebrow, but did not spare Sakura a glance. Instead, the
priest and headmaster of the Catholic school just stared straight into the boys eyes,
intimidating and daunting. Silently, Sakura marveled at how Sasuke didnt even flinch.
She had seen other boys in his position, and all of them wouldve succumbed to Kakashi
by now. Sasuke only met Kakashis stare with his own glare, and Sakura thought that he
was either very brave or very stupid.
And why not? Kakashi said as he leaned back into his chair. His voice
sounded cool, almost amused, but Sakura knew him well enough to know that he was
quickly losing patience.
Because
She squirmed in her ruffled black dress, the one she had worn to the funeral, as
Sasuke turned to look at her. She sent Sasuke a pleading look, but he only gave her a
scathing glare in return.
Because? Kakashi probed, effectively regaining Sasukes attention.
Because shes annoying! Besides, I have my own house, my parents house. I
belong there, not here! I have to oversee the whole estate
She sighed in relief. For a while there, she thought he would say she
desecrated my parents grave or something equally damning. However, her relief was
short-lived when she heard Kakashi speak.
Your parents entrusted you to me. I have complete control of your estates until
you turn 18. You can resume living there when youre old enough. For now, you have
to accept your fate. Resist and I will see you punished severely.
The words were said nonchalantly but with a steely edge, and nobody in the
room doubted the truth of his statement, not even for one moment.
For your bull-headedness and also for you to have an inkling of what awaits
you if you continue to be stubborn, you wont have dinner tonight, nor breakfast
tomorrow. I will allow you to eat only if you promise me your full obedience. This isnt
your territory, Uchiha Sasuke, and you are not master of this household. I am your
superior here and I do not tolerate insubordination.
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Sakuras eyes widened, thoroughly surprised. She had never known Kakashi to
mete out such a severe punishment, especially for a child who just lost his parents. She
knew him as a rather lenient guardian, a kind priest who didnt place much stock on harsh
discipline. In fact, he was one of the laxest people she had known. And this harshness
was so uncharacteristic of Kakashi that she did not know what to think of it. Sasukes
offense was not really that serious. She had done far worse things, and the worst Kakashi
had made her do was to clean the shelves on the library. And even then, he stopped her
halfway so that they could enjoy the afternoon soap operas they watched together.
Wanting to stand up for Sasuke but too afraid of this change in her mentor,
Sakura kept silent. She watched as Sasukes face contorted into anger, completely
devoid of fear.
Both of you are dismissed.
She saw Sasuke gritted his teeth and clenched his fists before turning around and
storming out of the room, head still held high. She knew it would take a long time before
he would break and surrender his pride. And it was at that moment that she understood
the true meaning of guilt.
She followed him soon after, hastily and clumsily walking towards the door.
She even bumped the pillar holding the previous headmaster Sarutobis bust along the
way, and the lack of the usual admonition from Kakashi made her even more
uncomfortable. Closing the door slowly as she went out, she only caught a glimpse of
Kakashi rubbing his temples in a despondent way.
At the corner of her eyes, she saw Sasuke disappear around the bend of the
corridor.
He would grow hungry tonight, she thought, and the wave of guilt that assaulted
her was overwhelming in its intensity.
***
Sakura flinched as the wooden floors creaked under her weight. Never had the
schools corridors seemed more ominous to her, the stone walls seemed to want to
swallow her, and shadows seemed to keep darting around her. Still, she crept on
determinedly, trying her best to steady the trembling of her hands, making the china she
held rattle.
Finally, she reached her destination. She balanced the cup she brought in one
hand and reached out for the door knob. However, just inches away, she heard
movements inside the room. She bit her lip, hesitant. She thought he was asleep, that she
could leave the food on his bedside and leave without him knowing.
She retracted her hand and wondered if she should just go. Maybe she wasnt
welcome. Maybe he was angry. Maybe
You might as well come in.
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The voice startled her, and she almost dropped the platter and the cup that she
was holding. Ah well, no use turning back now, she thought. Steadying herself and
taking a shaky breath, she reached for the door and opened it.
How-How did you know?
I saw your shadow under the door. Also, you were being noisy.
For a few seconds, she stood there and stared at him, trying to see if he was
angry. Sakura noticed how he seemed preoccupied, somehow, and she realized why
when she saw him crouch at the corner of the room.
What have you got there?
For a moment, he didnt speak, then
My kitten well, what used to be my kitten, anyway.
Sakura placed the platter and cup on his desk and went to him. She peered
behind his back and saw a black kitten lying on a bunch of rags. It looked to be sleeping,
so Sakura reached out to stroke its fur.
Dont, Sasuke said, his tone oddly gentle, though the hand clasping her wrist
was not. Its dead.
Ohwhy?
For a while, Sasuke didnt seem inclined to answer. And the silence, for Sakura,
was oppressive.
Dont we all ask that?
Sakura cleared her throat, not really knowing what to say. She looked at the
kitten once more, and took in its emaciated appearance, how its belly seemed to curve in,
how its ribs stuck out conspicuously. She slowly realized how the kitten died and felt a
stab of guilt.
Im sorry, she muttered, her voice sounding weak and distant.
Sasuke just shrugged and wrapped the kittens corpse with a blanket carefully.
He put it aside and turned around to face her.
Well?
Sakura cocked her head to the side and furrowed her brows, her mouth set in a
confused pout.
Why are you here?
O-Oh! That! Iuhm, look, I know you hate me. But I understand that its my
fault youre being punished and I know Im horrible for not owning up to what I did
andwell, lets just say Im feeling very guilty. She glanced at him to gauge his
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reaction, and seeing his indifferent pose, she hastily added, So I brought you some
food, gesturing to the food on his desk.
When he remained silent, still looking at her, she felt compelled to expound
further, Its been two days since that fight you had with Father Kakashi, and I still
havent seen you eat, so I thought that maybe you were hungry, and
I dont want it.
I thought that maybe sincewha-what?
I said. The bite made her flinch. I dont want it.
II dont understand.
I dont expect you to.
She wondered if, perhaps, the hunger had addled his brain.
Arent you Her words were careful, curious. Hungry?
Again, Sasuke shrugged.
Isnt everyone?
She watched him then, her brows furrowed in confusion. Sakura didnt
understand why his answers always had to be so cryptic.
What do you mean?
I meant exactly what I said. Everyones hungry. His tone was bored, as if he
had expected nothing more than ignorance from her.
Well, Im not, she said haughtily, annoyed at his condescending attitude. I
just had dinner
Yes, you are.
Sakura frowned. Who was he to tell her if she was hungry or not? It was not
like their bellies were somehow telepathically linked. And besides, he was wrong, she
was most definitely not
Hungry for approval and acceptance. Sasuke, heedless of the shock on her
face, advanced a few steps towards her and plowed on ruthlessly, Youre hungry for
praise. Youre hungry for attention.
You always play the part of little miss perfect to please other people, its all an
actoh, dont worry, Sakura, you play your part well. Nobody has noticed. His
condescending expression contorted into one of hatred and his once coldly calm voice
rose, turning into a tumultuous tenor, Youre a fraud, a fake. Youre hungry. Youre
famished. Youre just like the rest of humanity. Youre
Sakura recoiled, her hands poised above her, almost like a shield. Sasuke was
so angry, the hatred in his voice was palpable, and she was the unwitting recipient. She
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couldnt even understand half of what he was saying, and yet she was afraid. The words
had struck something deep inside her, something she didnt acknowledge, didnt even
know existed.
Stop it Her small shoulders trembled; her plea was nearly accompanied
with a dry sob. Please.
Sasuke paused, the reality of the situation dawning upon him. Where did those
sudden outbursts come from?
Gritting his teeth, he took a few calming breaths. Before he could apologize
though, the girl had turned on her heels and ran out of the room. He looked at the door
for a long time before his gaze wandered to the desk, where Sakura had left the food. It
suddenly struck him that, contrary to what he had accused her of, she had risked the
disapproval of Kakashi just to give him some aid. It was, perhaps, an act of compassion
which he had unjustly punished her for. Again, his gaze wandered. It fell to the forlorn
bundle on the corner of the room, his kitten.
Unbidden, memories of his family flitted through his mind. He remembered his
fathers pragmatic expression, his mothers kind smile, his brotherswhy had his
brother murdered them? He didnt understand; it was unfair. Everything was unfair.
Rage engulfed him at the memory of what his brother did, and his hands moved
on their own accord, sweeping the platter and the cup off the desk in one swift motion.
The objects fell to the floor with a noisy clatter that only accentuated the complete silence
that came afterward.
A surge of grief assaulted him, his heart contracting painfully at the sensation.
He closed his eyes tightly then, willing his tears not to fall, a difficult and ultimately
futile effort for one so young.
III.
January 13, 2025 Anno Domini
FIFTEEN-YEAR RED WAR ENDS
AS THE REPUBLIC OF CHINA SURRENDERS TO JAPAN, after an estimated
thirteen million civilians died during the two week siege of the Imperial Japanese Army,
General Sai, General-Commander of the attack, proclaimed that the war was finally
over.
It is mortifying, the 31- year old commander said. But for change to happen,
there is a need for this necessary sacrifice.
However, fifteen civil war attempts had happened within the past few days after
many nations objected the newly built empire
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***
Its difficult to explain Ino.
What? Too difficult for dear Sakura-chan, the girl genius? said Ino, her voice
carrying a cajoling lilt. Sakura merely rolled her eyes, ignoring the gloved hand that was
being wagged in front of her face.
Biology is simple. Chemistry is simple. Math is simple. Uchiha Sasuke is not
simple. Everything about him just leaves me confused. One minute hes nice, the next
hes a complete jerk
Maybe hes bipolar? her friend quipped.
Sakura rolled her eyes, slightly annoyed at how her best friend could manage to
make the most inane comments.
No. Ino, hes not a nutcase. Hes one of the smartest
Exactly my point. Exceptionally smart people are hardly ever right in the head.
Look at Van Gogh, at Nietzsche, she said, waving her hands for emphasis. Sad, though,
that someone so prettily handsome can be so messed up in here, Ino said, gesturing to
her brain with a soiled glove.
Will you stop interjecting? You asked me to explain this thing I have for
Sasuke-kun, and here you are cutting into my every sentence. Besides, Im not the one
whos into geniuses, said Sakura, giving her friend a knowing look.
Hey! Thats different! Shikamarus a genius, a normal one; but Sasuke, he
hestheres just something wrong with him.
Ino!
Alright, alright, geez, forehead girl, no need to be so feisty, said Ino, holding
up her hands in mock surrender.
Neither of them spoke for a few seconds, both taking some time to gather their
thoughts. But then, Ino spoke, her tone serious.
Seriously though, Sakura just be careful.
Sakura glared at her friend for a few seconds before looking up at the sky, her
expression turning into one of utter surrender and despair.
I just
She sighed, a dreadful sound of pure melancholy.
I I just want him to be happy.
Up above, a hawk was gliding in a wide arc; it was carrying a dead rabbit in its
talons.
***
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He watched her from the windows, trying to make himself as inconspicuous as
possible. She acted differently when she knew he was watching, and it both amused and
irked him. It irked him because her IQ seemed to drop a few notches whenever she
spoke to him. And yet, it amused him, because she was no longer hungry for everyones
approval, only for his.
And it was ironic, that somebody would hunger for famine.
Shes awfully good at growing plants, isnt she?
Sasuke frowned, mindful now of the silent droning of an electronic wheelchair.
What do you want, Naruto? he snapped, turning his head to glare at the
newcomer, a blond-haired boy of about six or seven years old. The boy looked more
dead than alive with his blotched, sallow skin and gaunt cheeks. But despite his sickly
appearance, the boy gave off an aura of strength. He carried himself as if he could take
on anyone and anything in his path, without flinching, at that. For one thing, he was able
to meet Sasukes glare with a mocking smile. Not many people could do that without
fearing retribution.
Nothing, nothing at all, the boy said, his tone dripping with false innocence,
his electric blue eyes twinkling with mischief. I merely want to join you in admiring
Sakura-chans way with plants.
The wheelchair came to a stop directly beside Sasuke, who had not taken his
eyes off Naruto.
Those pumpkinsthey seem rather healthy despite the heavy pollution, dont
they?
Against his wish, Sasuke averted his eyes and turned to look at what Naruto was
talking about. He didnt notice before that she was growing pumpkins, and seeing it now
made his mouth draw into a thin line.
I really admire Sakura-chan. Shes a practical girl, not frivolous at all. Look,
shes not growing flowers like Ino-chan is.
Narutos grin widened when he saw how Sasukes hands were clenched into
fists. The boy was a master at bare minimums, both in words and in movement. His self-
control was almost legendary. And Naruto knew by the boys simplest actions that he
was on to something.
Also, Sasuke, she told me what she wants to be when she grows up.
Would you like me to tell you? Naruto asked in a sing-song voice when his
companion still refused to reply, further igniting Sasukes dread.
The boy continued to make remarks about Sakuras apparent talent at growing
things and by the time he had finished speaking, a sick feeling had settled into Sasukes
stomach.
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Go away, he hissed, nails digging into his palm. Go away, Naruto.
But Naruto didnt move. He had a point to make.
I am merely reminding you, said the young child, suddenly sounding like an
adult with the amusement completely gone from his voice, that this
Sasuke sensed that the boy was looking at him, but he refused to meet the gaze,
his glare directed at the pink-haired girl in the garden who was looking up at him, waving
her gloved hand cheerfully, a bright smile on her cherubic face.
this cannot end happily.
Sasuke swallowed, suddenly noticing how dry his mouth was.
I know.
IV.
May 13, 2028 Anno Domini
THREE LARGEST GRANNARIES BOMBED, WORLDWIDE HUNGER FEARED
AVIGNON, FRANCEthe third largest oat grain silo and factory was destroyed
in a massive explosion dealt by C-4 explosive. It was suspected to be the work of vigilant
military rebels supporting the amassing food riots happening across the country side, in
particular the
***
The man made no attempt to cover the sound of his heavy footfalls, letting them
resonate through the solid stone walls of the once grand cathedral freely. Two old
women sitting at the front row looked at him with thinly veiled disdain for his
irreverence, but he didnt care. There was nothing in the building that garnered respect
from him anyway, only hatred. What else could anyone feel for an institution that killed
truth and paved the way for death and destruction?
The church warped the truth, so much that it was no longer recognizable.
People never did find out that good and evil were fruits of the same tree. And it was
through goods greed that balance was lost and the world fell into irreversible chaos.
But the truth would not be hidden. They were able to do so for many years, but
not anymore. The churchs halls were finally as hollow as its traditions.
The time was ripe for change, for purging.
The truth was out. The wheels of history were turning.
They were starting to move.
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Some were catching on. People had stopped going to church long ago;
abandoning all the archaic rituals in favor of all that was worldly. Epicureansthats
what the people called themselvesa fancy term for degenerate and amoral. They were
still ignorant of everything, but at least they were seeing through the sham of organized
religion. Christians were a dying stock; even the lukewarm ones were disappearing. The
only ones left were bitter old women who had nowhere else to go and wizened priests
feeding off the scraps of the dying institution. And they were no better than the rest of
the world.
Oddly, the thought brought him comfort. It made his job easier. It was, after
all, easier to starve those who were used to being full.
Tearing his eyes off the wooden cross, he turned away from the altar and headed
towards the confessional.
He glanced around to make sure nobody was looking and stepped inside.
The confessional smelt of dust and incensea heady combination that made the
mans head spin. Nonetheless, he swallowed his revulsion and knelt reverently.
Shalom aleichem, he said, his voice barely louder than a whisper, Bless me,
father, for I have sinned.
Aleichem shalom, was the steady reply. Be at ease, Son, for the heavens
have
Not letting the priest finish, he plowed on, I have caused the death of millions,
father.
His voice held no remorse, only amusement. The priest on the other side sensed
this, and sighed in annoyance.
Its rude to belittle the sufferings of others, Sasuke.
Sasuke only scoffed in response.
Those were real lives. The least you can do is
Stop acting like a saint, Kakashi. It doesnt suit you.
For a minute, Kakashi was unhinged. Nobody called his name with such
familiarity except for Mikoto; and the reminder that Sasuke truly was his mothers son
unnerved him, scared him. Not for the first time, he wished that Sasuke would attach an
honorific to his name like everyone else.
Nonetheless, Kakashi took a deep breath and replied, his voice low and serious.
Then stop acting like the devil. You know very well that this isnt about sides,
not anymore.
The reprimand fell on deaf ears.
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Disappointed at the change in his former student, Kakashi decided to let the
matter drop and get back to business.
So I take it that the mission was a success?
Yes. The details are in my report, Sasuke replied, his manner becoming
formal as he slipped a small brown folder through a narrow crack at the side of the
partition. Suffice it to say that the food riots will reach Paris in a matter of days.
And the preparations for the next bombing?
Theyre in place. I
***
Sakura knelt on one of the pews and bowed her head in silent prayer. She didnt
look at the altar. The mere thought that she would no longer see the golden cross there
saddened her.
It was stolen last week by some looters, and the church was unable to do
anything about it. The police said they had too much on their hands to recover a lost
artifact and although they would try, Father Kakashi and Sakura shouldnt expect
anything.
They knew it was hopeless. They wouldnt get it back.
The decaying, termite-ridden wooden cross, a relic from the cathedrals earlier
days, was a poor substitute for the gold one. But then, she thought wryly, it was only
fitting for the state that the church was currently in.
It was sad that the great Cathedral had fallen into ruin. Nobody really cared
anymore. Just outside the building, she was propositioned by a male prostitute who was
leaning disrespectfully on a sculpture of St. John the Baptist. The blatant show of
immorality was shameful.
How rotten can society get before it caves in on itself? she wondered.
Stifling the sense of righteous indignation at the worlds festering sense of
morality, she made the sign of the cross and rose to leave.
***
Have you gotten a good look at her?
He failed to prevent the blood from creeping up his face, embarrassed at the
thought of being caught staring even through the wooden partition that separated him and
his former mentor.
He supposed his sudden silence gave him away.
He hadnt even realized that he had stopped speaking.
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It wasnt his fault, however. The glimpse he had of the girl he coveted, hindered
as it was by the confessional doors pattern of Celtic knots, had brought him crashing
back, making him forget his grim mission for a moment and remember that he was an
adolescent too and that he wasnt exempt from the changes wrought by his age.
Nonetheless, there was nothing he could do about it. A normal life was out of the
question, and he had come to terms with the fact long ago. Taking a deep breath, he
closed his eyes and fought to regain composure.
It was, however, a losing battle, as Kakashis next words made him lose it
completely, almost making him hurl the meager contents of his stomach in a violent
surge of vomit.
I hope you did, because shes your next target.
V.
June 29, 2028 Anno Domini
BUSHFIRE DESTROYS HALF OF CHINAS CROPS.
LINYA, CHINACrops of yeast and rice stored for the next five years were
burned from an extensive bushfire that started from some unknown farm. 16,000 hectares
of rice fields, corn and other crops were destroyed from the extreme heat. Experts said
that this was an effect of global warming, that the flammable exhumes in the polluted air
were now being ignited by the extreme rise in temperature.
There was a surge of panic among the people as economic analysts said that the
calamity added to the damage done by the sudden deluge of hurricanes in the Western
Area, greatly worsening the shortage of staple foods. Disease contamination among stock
animals, namely fowls, pigs and cows, also increased. Thus, lessening the production of
dairy products...
***
Sakura, youve been staring at that flask for five whole minutes. Its
troublesome. Just say whats on your mind already and get to work.
The said girl glared at her coworker but was secretly thankful for what she knew
was genuine concern.
Sighing, Sakura removed her goggles and walked to her friends desk. She had
developed a strong bond with the genius and had grown to respect the dedication which
he poured into his work, despite his proposed laziness. The fact that he was her best
friends boyfriend helped too since they had a common groundthey were never tired of
complaining about Inos crazy antics. The blonde was simply indomitable, a ray of
sunshine in this otherwise bleak era, and they both loved her for that.
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Shikamaru, its just that I Im worried that we wont be able to develop the
crop in time. People are dying and here I am thinking about
Is this about Sasuke again? Because you know very well what my stand is on
him.
Well, yes, in fact, it is about him. Im just wondering where he went, thats all.
I mean, I never understood why he left. I keep on thinking that its my fault
Dont flatter yourself.
Sakura flinched at his words; they seemed like an insult, but she knew it was
actually just Shikamarus characteristic bluntness.
What do you mean?
Sasuke had bigger things in his mind, much bigger than some sappy adolescent
love story. I know this because I talked to him. If your love for him encompassed your
whole world back then, it was different for him. Probably, your love was just a speck, a
bothersome bump
Are you saying that he didnt care about me?
No, just that your attention was appreciated, but unwelcomed and ultimately
unimportant in the face of the bigger issues. Had he been anyone else, you two wouldve
eloped by now. But hes not, so you should just forget about it, find someone easier to
love.
But I cant
You cant, or you wont?
If I forget about him, she said deliberately, her voice going stronger by each
word, this project of ours will never be finished.
Shikamaru raised a thin eyebrow and looked at her in a calculating manner.
Sakura looked back, unflinching under his scrutiny.
Im doing this for him, everythingits always been for him.
Neither of them spoke for a long while, each absorbed in their own thoughts.
Sakura, take this advice from a friend. Forget about him.
But I already told you, the projecthe, Sasukes my motivation, always has
been!
Then damn the project. Forget about him, for both your own sake and his.
What? But I dontI dont understand. This is our project, Shikamaru. You
know how important it is. How can you just tell me to abandon it?
Forget I said anything.
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Shikamaru? Please, if you know something about Sasuke, tell me.
However, Shikamaru would say no more no matter how hard she pressed.
VI.
June 12, 2030 Anno Domini
MIRACULOUS DISCOVERY, SOLUTION TO THE FAMINE
YATOMI SPECIAL AGRICULATURAL DEVELOPMENT INSTITUTEAn
intern ,Sakura Haruno, at the young age of 20, amazed the International Rice Research
Institute professionals as she presented her solution to the worldwide hunger. A miracle
crop, a newly developed grain specie called IR-777 Manna, was earning positive
reviews
***
Tailing her for almost half a day wasnt easy, but it could be done. Sakura might
have the most conspicuous features, but she was rather skilled in blending in with the
bustling crowds of the old city. It spoke volumes, that maybe she wasnt as innocent as he
thought she was.
As he saw her walk past the old pathways inside the aged synagogues and
ancient cemeteries, curiosity gnawed on him. Was she any different now? Granted that
there was something new in her stance; more confident and straight. Her hair never grew
past her shoulders, but it was rather dry for someone who used to wash it carefully with
conditioner back in the old days. She wore absolutely no make-up, except for a colorless
gloss for the cracking of her lips. Her hands were still as slender, her form was a bit
taller, lither.
Radiant.
Sakura still smiled at the odd little moments, as if there was something funny
while she was in deep thought.
It made him sick that it was still Sakura.
Yes, yes, Mam. He could hear her words drift, tinged with exasperation as
she tried to defeat the dissonant noise of the rushing crowd. Im already I wont be
lost, Ive been here before, and no. She gave a frustrated sigh. I know, I know. Will be
careful. I hope youre not in the wine cellar, I can hear echoes. Bye! There was a short
laugh before she slid her phone shut.
His operator the one who was on the other end of the blue tooth transmitter
was probably puffing an expensive carcinogenic stick. Sasuke could hear the tense, less
languid inhale. Make it an accident.
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He heard the clear instructions as he let the engine roar angrily.
Ukonete, prosm, vstup a nstup
The dark car swerved to meet the tram in a head collision.
Before jumping off the vehicle, he saw brilliant green before a flash of white
blinded everything.
VII.
August 28, 2030 Anno Domini
SEVEN DEATHS IN A CAR ACCIDENT
INSIDE THE PRAGUE METRO SUBWAY, seven civilians died in a car crash
because a probable drunk driver entered the open subway station at nine in the evening,
destroying several infrastructures and wounding 18 bystanders. Meanwhile, seven died
upon arrival
Law enforcements had surrounded and exhumed the remains of the wrecked
Black Urroco, but they did not find any passenger. They assumed that the driver rolled
out of the car during the impact and was among those who were crushed beneath the
rocks. Dopravn podnik Praha (D.P. Praha) would take full responsibility of the
expenses
***
Are you comfortable? The concern was lukewarm at best, but Sakura
appreciated it all the same when Sai had settled himself on the recliner, pleased.
Sakura fidgeted, crumpling the expensive crimson silk dress for this occasion
with her blunt nails. She was surprised and secretly thrilled that the world had seen the
potential of her research, as she now sat in front of a prominent leader who had deemed it
necessary to have a little chat. Those elites invited to the Grand Dinner were impressed
with her accomplishments and told her with too much enthusiasm that this was a great
opportunity, though, their words felt empty to her ears.
A promising project to be funded by such a great man was indeed a big step for
her career and for her goal to help those poor souls dying in starvation, but she was
warned that she should tread carefully on the young mans graces. There was a huge
possibility that her work would be used to feed a powered army, but she had no qualms in
using any resources to pave the way of a good life for everyone.
The suspicion further increased when her wise mentor warned her, Never trust
men who always smile so carelessly. There was something about the ever-grinning
young man that made her hackles rise, even if she already knew him before.
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Sai was a sporadic guest professor in her massive university, frequently seen in
those small awnings to quietly sketch the large marble statues in the grassy quadrangles
with a devout expression. Her childhood best friend, Ino, introduced him as her very
young uncle on her maternal side; he and Ino were close like they were siblingsor in
Inos words, gay best friends. It was only a matter of time before Sakura warmed up to
him as if they were of the same age, although, she always had to endure Sais constant
need to tease her hideous forehead.
After a series of brief encounters and pleasant discourses (he was quite a
connoisseur in different aspects of art), he was gone and the next thing she knew, he was
already rising up in the ranks of the Imperial Calvary.
Sai... It was now or never. Can I ask you a favor?
Of course, he stated with ease. After all, Im trying to render the world a
great service. Retributions for the casualties. And youre the one who instigated this
project. Im very grateful for that.
Somebody Sakura inhaled as she thought of those eyes staring back at her,
filled with intenthatred or apathy, she never wanted to know. A gradual increasing
pressure in her chest made the nervous thump-thump of her heart louder. H-He tried to
kill me on my way here.
The general stiffened, taking a quick sweeping gaze over the bustle of chattering
people and leaned to her with a low, dangerous whisper, You saw him?
She didnt glance up, afraid that his face would be seen in her eyes. No, I just
needed to tell you that
You need more protection? the young officer prompted, that calm faade
marred with a neutral frown.
No, its not that. I know itll be a great inconvenience, but if something
happens to me. She breathed through her mouth, an anxious quiver, wishing that
everything would just explain why, why now? when everything would finally be finished.
She might have done this for him, for that face she saw that fateful afternoon,
but her selfish choice must not affect the lives of many innocents.
Please, if something happens to me, Shikamaru would definitely take over;
along with the others, let them continue my work. Support them as well. And
And?
And. She was really unreasonable. Dont catch himmy killer, assassin.
Just let him go.
Why thats Sai paused, his smile more genuine than those fake grins that he
usually gave, and he sighed in mock amusement. Thats quite unorthodox, Ugly.
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Laughing at the old nickname had certainly loosened up the gravity of their
conversation. Well, promise me. Please. I just want that. Nothing else.
It will certainly be done, Hag.
Thank you. She gave a relieved laugh. Now, have you seen Naruto? That
little kid looks so grown up now! I heard that hes under Father Kakashi right now, so
Im a little worried about the discipline since hes very hard on his boys
Sakura continued her nonsensical chatter, failing to notice the small strange
details: why Sai wasnt entirely concerned at the idea of her death, why he didnt press
any questions about the details of the recent attack. But she was too relieved because of
his promise to even care about the mans grim expression when Sakura lapsed into a
relaxed silence.
***
The gentle old butler had almost forcibly blocked Sakura on her way out of the
mansion. She was invited by their gracious master to stay for the night, besides, Lady
Yamanaka would arrive so wouldnt it be convenient to catch up for old times sake?
Refusing to decline such an offer, the young woman gracefully accepted the new
set of clothes they provided in her large guest room, located about a yard away from the
little den of book collections and expensive canvas replicas.
While waiting for Ino, she set on to enclose herself with the crinkly old pages
and the crackling warm fire. Sakura was pretty sure that Ino would check on her uncle
first, before they would tell her she was here.
However, she halted when she saw Sai sitting in front of his oak desk,
illuminated by the warm lamp lights that lined the circular den. There was a black mass
of something that she couldnt decipher for a moment from the entrance, but she was sure
that he was just about to peruse that large book.
Good evening, Sakura-san, he greeted, eyes less cold after glossing over the
indecipherable symbols on the leather cover.
She greeted him in return, traces of uneasiness apparent on her features.
Will you like something to read? The books here are mostly old first-edition
classics, but they will be moved soon enough. The contemporary collections were the
first to go, but I cant seem to showcase this in my public mansion
No, no. Its fine, I just want to look around while waiting for Ino-cha
Her eyes strayed to the book now being hefted open, with pages large enough to
swallow the whole length of his work desk. It was like those illustration books she had
that Kakashi would read to her when she missed her parents at the dorm, but instead of
the caricature images of animals and fae, it was a colossal book of old painted canvases.
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Isnt it interesting? They were helpful on my brief perusing of revivalist art. Its
quite an expensive one. Theyre even written in Russian.
Slowly, she listened to the soft-spoken, yet succinct stories behind the blown up,
black and white images of The Virgin and The Child, a still photograph of a beautiful
mural in a cathedral, of an unsmiling princess and a prophetic bird with a pale face of a
man, wrapped in ebony night feathers and fiery halo light.
But what drew her eyeswith such inexplicable attention, was the image of men
riding the four colored steeds with a black embossed inscription of
that ominously glinted at the side.
Ah, yes, Viktor was interested in myths and fairytales, Sai spoke fondly, his
hand caressing a gaping maw of the crimson mare almost akin to affection. There were
slain men beneath their hooves, the brilliant red crescent peeking behind the dark,
translucent clouds and a glowing lamb was perched above all the turmoil.
The four horsemen.
Her words were like a piercing scream in the silence of her thoughts.
The bringers of the end of the world.
Yes. Sai nodded, his eyes closing with mild merriment. As each of the seals
was opened, they came, one by one. There was a semblance of mystery surrounding his
quiet words, barely concealing his enthusiasm about the subject.
He, the white one, who first brings pestilence He tapped the man who sat
proudly on his mare, with his bow drawn and crown held high.
And then, the crimson one comes. He then drew a path to the red-headed man,
his sword raised to behead the struggling soldier beneath him. Given the power to start
wars, robbing peace.
But, he who brings the scales, the impartial black one. Sai hovered his index
on the image of the thin, gaunt man with stark-eyed gaze, coated in a thin veneer of anger
as he gazed upon the fields of outstretched hands and lifeless bodies.He brings everyone
an all consuming-hunger.
Famine.
Yes. His affirmation brought a nervous shiver down her spine. Then, you
know who follows him, this pale horse?
He, the pale one. She swallowed thickly and all she could think of was to run
as she gazed at the empty sockets of the haunting skull. From his bony phalanges, he
wielded the curved blade on its thin rod. Deat
Ojichan!
The shrill call nearly made Sakura jump.
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The blonde appeared in the doorway with a mischievous grin. Ino then stopped
laughing when she noticed her long-time friend was almost as ashen-colored as her uncle.
Forehead! The blinking Ino let out a surprised gasp. Youre here.
Sakura breathed deeply, trying not to look frightened. Hi, pig.
Sai?
I think its good if you two catch up, Beautiful.
She turned a suspicious baby blue eye to the two of them, pouting her lips a little
bit.
You two look so serious
Its nothing, Beautiful. Sai smiled innocently, as the taller woman peered over
the two of them with an inquisitive look. We were just talking about a painting.
You and your weird tastes. Ino paced towards them, now looking at the art
book with keen interest. Nice bods on these men. Its a gorgeous painting, I must say.
Why dont you draw something more like this? An elbow jutted playfully to his midrib
as Ino giggled.
Its just a painting, Ino.
Sakura gave a nervous smile when the taut atmosphere dissipated, a wan
comparison compared to Sai.
VIII.
September 15, 2030 Anno Domini
MIRACLE CROP FUNDED BY THE MILITARY
Mas. Brig. General Sai, head of the Greater Japanese Army, promised to fund
the Miracle Crop Research yesterday in a meeting with Haruno Sakura, the project's
main researcher. The meeting took place in General Sai's summer rest house located in
Shibukawa, Gunma. General Sai and the young Dr. Haruno finalized their contract after
hours of negotiations.
Im happy to support Sakura-sans quest to fight famine. Its an admirable
effort, said General Sai in an interview, I just hope its not a losing battle.
Haruno Sakuras laboratories and her research would be transferred to Ebetsu
prefecture, owned by the government and funded by highest officials
***
There was something different in her new abode.
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Granted that her freshly-furnished quarters was designed with an urban,
sophisticated ambience, the glam features did nothing but to instill intimidation to her
small form. It also gave a foreboding aura, especially since she could feel the shadows
deepening as the hours progressed, lurking under the bright strips of light.
It was her first day; the small crimson digits of zero-two-three-zero blinked on
the LCD, alarming her to stand up and dress herself with the clothes on top of her
baggage. She hadnt even started unpacking her things yet. She threw the starchy, past
knee-length white coat over her shoulders to hide her simple red tee, slipped on her black
stovepipes and open-toed boots while half-running on the corridors.
Even since she started producing the first prototypes of certain pods and seeds,
placed in their corresponding Petri dishes for multiple tests, she knew there was a huge
probability of failure: that everyone would still suffer from deforestations and natural
calamities. Yet, with her current discoveries, the resistance of her crops might even aid a
breakthrough in creating a perfect vaccine against all types of human and animal
diseases, from the simple cold to the most virulent autoimmune diseases, if she tried
enough for a few more years.
A weapon against death.
Punching in the few numbers and sliding her ID in the slot, the door slid
automatically with a smooth whirr. Thankful for the cool conditioning of the room, she
could see the swift progress of her work as the temperature of the autoclave machines
flashed across the monitors on the nearby screen. Absorbed in determining the decrease
of the inoculated salmonella on the chosen produce, Sakura took a while before noticing
that not a single soul came in her lab.
Normally, she would welcome this kind of peace; no hassles from being
interrupted, no distractions. But the stillness had truly disturbed her, as she transferred the
fresh batch of agars to the nearby cooler.
It was a bit disconcerting, though. Where were the others? They were supposed
to start at exactly three in the morning. The gracious general had wanted to see if the
project could exceed the production of ten tons of rice, as well as yeast and vineyards
within the span of two weeks. Using rapid growth stimulations along with
There was an ear-shattering explosion.
Then, the whole place was submerged in a suppressing darkness
***
He could see her.
In the darkness, where his eyes glowed in an accursed red, Sakura did something
unexpected: she sat on the sturdy stool, closing her eyes, trying to calm her apprehensive
breaths. Her glazed eyes stared, and he could picture her pupils dilate from the temporary
loss of her sight. She didnt stumble on her feet in fear while the alarms caterwauled in
deafening echoes. She didnt ramble to herself, a habit she had when scared and alone
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when they were children. There she was, in the middle, surrounded by bottles of clear
liquids, alcohol and acids.
She seemed resigned to something, patiently waiting for it to come to her.
I was right. Her eyes were now cool, untouched by tears that filled its brim
when he left her without a wordNaruto had told himappraising him in that clinical
detachment he had never seen before. I had my doubts.
Sakura. Her name on his lips was a greeting and an apology.
Sasuke.
I guess I became so noticeable now. She laughed a bit, hollow and broken.
She now stood from her seat, steady and careful, afraid that he would notice the
trembling of her hands as she did so, her small back turned to him.That Im already
worth killing?
He only answered with the sound of the cocking pistol, masking his surprise at
her calm assessment of her situation. Sakura didnt seem to mind that she was facing her
executioner, with a calm faade nonetheless.
You shouldnt have swerved to the right at the very last moment. Her body
faced him, tendrils of firelight illuminating the contours of her face. Her eyes were
staring at his hands, the tip still pointing downwards. If that would free you from
them
You dont know anything, he hissed.
Did you see what youve done? People are dying in such a pitiful state, they
dont deserve this
Sasuke began to laugh derisively, with such broken tiredness that he didnt
bother hiding his amusement anymore.
Youre still hungry.
He couldnt help but lace his words with such nostalgia that Sakura looked up in
confusion. She didnt know how much it truly relieved and stabbed him to know that she
never changed. Still hungry for betterment, still in need of him.
Yes. But this wasnt the young Sakura who didnt understand the meaning
behind his words, who was protected, safe and ignorant. But not for acclaim, or
recognition. My life, my decisions were pathetically built around you.
She raised her arm in a wide sweep, gesturing to all her damned
accomplishments, to her efforts in saving a dying humanity.
I fought this endless famine for you.
(and here was the woman that he had always craved for, but he would definitely
take and take and gnaw her to death.)
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She leaned forward, the pink bangs covering her half-closed lids. I can help
you. I will always help you.
You dont understand, Sakura, he viciously snarled when her curled knuckles
relaxed, lowering her guard to him; when her tight expression eased, as if she was
assuming that he couldnt blow her head off with one shot of his exploding bullet. He
nearly bit off a curse because of that stupid trusting naivety she never lost. Beads of
perspiration began to trail a path on his temples as the heat increased by each passing
second.
You are a stupid fool... he spoke harshly, to trust me.
(unbidden visions flashed before his eyes as naruto, the ever clairvoyant,
relayed their supposed to be fairytale ending: him and sakura, with their backs turned to
watch the sky burning in waves of orange as the moon turned red.)
His hands trembled, shaking from the tips of the phalanges to the joints of his
wrist.
(naruto told a different outcome of this moment. sasuke would cut off his six
wings; he would take her far away from here, keeping her safe, as the cycle would unfold
its last phase: a round boy with a foxy grin would rebel and leave the threshold of their
fates to deliver the frail humankind to its end.)
Most thought of Sakura as a saint, but he knew better.
All I ever needed was for you to see me! Because all these werent for
humanitys sake.
And he realized that here was Sakura. A human.
Mortal.
Because of him.
The metal was cold, deathly cold on his hand.
He knew soon enough, her skin would be as cold as well.
There was an explosive shot.
(and he would always see her everywhere, alive. away from this fucked up
world, where god could never find her, never at the reach of the coming death. and with
the thought of her life being spared, his soul would be satiated to the fullest.)
Sasuke Globules of blood spouted out from her pale lips, now glistening
with a stain of red, a color that never seemed to touch her lips before. Like thick wine, it
dribbled across her chin. kun.
The bright blood gnawed the white cloth slowly, consuming rich red on her
paling hands. And her armswide, open, acceptingcrumpled in a bent angle, clutching
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at the middle of her torso, where the spreading stain was stark on the clean fabric. She
collapsed on the floor, failing to fall onto him.
It probably took a minutebut it felt like foreverwhen he lowered himself to
the ground.
When he brushed the tendrils of her hair away from the corners of her smiling
lips, he remembered the visions, his hopeful dreams; and knew that Sakura at least
deserved this sweet repose, rather than see the world crumbling under Narutos hand,
imprisoned. She would never rest until everyone was saved.
Until he was at peace. And that would never happen.
She deserved to be free from this hell hole called life.
And for once, he satiated his hunger and took a bite of his forbidden fruit.
XI.
October 10, 2030 Anno Domini
MIRACLE CROP INVENTOR DIES, RESEARCH DESTROYED IN FIRE
JAPANSakura Haruno, 20, Bioengineering Specialist, died inside the
Innovation Fields Laboratories Incorporated in Ebetsu Prefecture. An accidental gas
leak was what the forensics uncovered after a week of full-scale investigation.
Haphazard debris lay scattered as volunteers tried to salvage the remains of the
facility. Though there was no extensive damage in the surrounding areas, ten workers
were severely burnt, buried for five hours beneath the rubble. Miss Haruno, who was
working overnight inside her study located near the gas tanks, received the full extent of
the explosion. Her body was not found, but there were confirmed DNA traces of her dried
blood, leaving the suspicion that the arson was initiated to cover up a murder.
Known as a young scientist in the inner circles of biochemical societies, Miss
Haruno was a freshman medical student in Harvard University
Lamentations
Mara,
A chorus of phantom shrieks filled her crowded mind.
grtia plna,
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Alone in a deserted pew, there was a woman with a pair of petal lips and two
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river-green eyes nearly hidden beneath thick lashes. Distinctive rosy curls, tinted to an
almost burning gold was unbound from the throttle of vanity, a soft silk tie and a bouquet
of punishing bobbies on her hair. The late morn light cast a lugubrious image of a
mourning girl before the effigy of a blessed lady, clothed in a robe made of moon and
crowned with a halo of stars, the world under her feet.
Dminus tcum.
Pale hands and mouth, both firmly pressed together, were trembling for a long
time now. She could barely stay still; the thin organza of her nightgown was not enough
to cushion the pressure of kneeling. But fear and desperation were enough to invigorate a
famished body, as she fervently pleaded for aa miracle, anything. Anything.
Benedcta tu
She could not even hear her own prayer as their shrieks grew lustier, almost
threading themselves on her consciousness. Finally, she screamed.
i-in muliribus, et benedctus frctus
And there was a moist warmth that coated the sides of her throat, a heat that
sluiced over her frigid veins. A tightening grasp was on her waist; she could hardly
breathe.
Her name Sakura muted out the cries of the souls, and all she could think of was
that he was giving her air back as he exhaled through his mouth.
vntris ti
And as there was not even a whisper of a breeze, much less the recurring voices
that drove her to insanity, she relished his gift of tranquility.
i. I did not know the lament yet
Where are we?
Weary and heavily wounded, the contemptuous half-groan was his first words
when he awoke.
Lord Haruno, came the relieved sigh from his carrier, as the youngling
Inuzuka, was it?galloped across the empty, rough road with a brown steed.
The knights understood the unrestrained venting of the szak Earl, and they
were wise enough not to speak while their respected noble rambled as their chestnut
horses trampled on the grassy plains in swift vigilance.
Such impudence!
If I should speak, Your Grace, said the calm young soldier, who he
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remembered as the sole knight in the Nara family. Our reinforcements made sense.
Besides, His royal highness also sought your safety above and foremost since your
brother had perish
You think of the best for me when my brother just died and was slain in battle?
Is it best, he roared again for the nth time during the rolling ride, to scamper like a
hound with a tail between my legs? To deny me of the same honor
His almost vulgar tirades were cut off with a sharp gasp of pain.
The rear guard, Sir Aburame, prompted to tighten his knees and whipped his
reins, as the older man applied pressure on the seeping injury with threadbare rags.
Fortunately, shouts from the distant battle and the steady galloping of their horses
drowned out further irritated murmurs.
These two soldiers, still apprehensive, were assigned to protect the Lord of the
Haruno House as he returned back to the barricaded bailey perched above the nearby
hillocks.
With the task of ensuring that he would receive immediate treatment as soon as
possible, the situation resulted into a heated argument in the sea of flying projectiles and
clashing blades. However, the elderly King was resolute in his order that the youngest
son-in-law should retreat.
Their aggrieved lord, despite old age, had fairly impressed their people as he
traded the ostentatious garments and glamour in the high court for a well-made blade to
fight the damned conquest against the bronze-skinned pagans. It was a remarkable
decision, as the duke had already distanced himself from such battles. But no matter how
welcomed his invaluable experience was in the rejuvenated troops, the frontlines of a
tumultuous clash was not a place for aging warriors, whether they were of kings kin or
not.
It was indeed fortunate that the muttering lord was favored by fate, spared from
death when the newest, recruited officialsome unknown captainhad noticed that the
old man was within the aim of the enemy spear; the moment the spike grazed his weak
shoulder, a young, tall man with an unfamiliar coat of arms on his shield lugged him and
went to the King instantly, bearing news that the Earl should be taken away from the
huge skirmish.
Considerably relieved for a moment, the three reached the edge of the moat
safely. Blowing an old bony horn, the metal drawbridge creaked down slowly to allow
them inside the small bastion.
Bring a practitioner, bid the ragged knight to an attending squire as he took off
his visor. Lord Haruno is injured.
The thin, small body was gone in a flash as he ran towards the small gathering of
ladies in white aprons. A minute not too late, he brought a veiled woman who carried a
wooden basin upon her bosom, disentangling herself from the band of bustling middle-
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aged acolytes. In quick strides, the youngesthe assumed her as about six and a decade
year old by her small formreached the exhausted soldier who called for her and was
swiftly informed of the situation.
He caught a sustaining injury from a lance.
Any chances there are pieces left inside?
No, the wound was cleaned, but we dare not move his shoulder. It might be
broken
The stern woman was dressed in an old green gown, with tattered lace bell-
sleeves and a dark hazel corset. A stained trowel hung on her thin arms, as well as a
bulky leather kidney pouch on her belt. She suddenly stopped in front of the old man who
just descended from his saddle, supported by the men, his worn face creasing a small
smile.
I am in your debt, healer. Just His voice stilled when he noticed a vibrant
strand from the edge of her faded liripipe.
The bright rose color was quite a conspicuous contrast to the dull white wimple
that secured her features.
If he was angry earlier, now he was practically livid.
What in the bloody heavens are you doing here?
The young lady raised her head, meadow green eyes meeting furious viridian
ones. With a waspish glare, she bristled adamantly. There are many people who are in
need of my aid.
I told you to stay behind the abbey, foolish girl! There is a reason why
Yes, that might be a reasonable choice. She extracted the stained rags away
from the weeping, red hole, and then motioned the armed men to assist the protesting old
man to a brick bungalow with dried straw roof, where an empty bunk was available. But
do you even dare to withhold my skills in such a dire situation?
He opened his mouth in objection, but she cut in sharply.
No protests.
Paternal instincts told him that he should be scolding her wayward actions, but
common sense fairly dictated that it was better to discuss this when he was not bleeding
to death.
Alright. His jaw ticked a muscle in response. Lead the way.
As they trudged on towards the waiting doors, he was settled in a comfortable
cot. He unbuckled the straps off his broad sword and handed it to the waiting boy who
reached for it.
You were. The cheeky smile on her face could have brightened up any battle-
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worn soul, as the men gave a respectful nod and trudged out of the room. Settling the
wooden basin on the stool, she started wringing the cloth with force. And still are, dearly
missed at home, father.
An urge to engulf his only daughter in an embrace arose, but he thought the
better of it when she passed by the open window, probably gazing at the injured soldiers
that had traipsed inside the keep.
Make sure you at least reside in the capital before I go back, he said gruffly, as
she unstapled the metal gauntlets with an outstretched hand. I fear that those vermin
would choose this station next, as it is the nearest point.
Who said something about returning? We still need to make sure nothing is
broken. And, your worries are unfounded. Her tremulous laughter soothed not only the
stinging pain of herbs lathered on the wound, but also the stirrings of anxiety. I know
how to wield an axe and take out some rouge or two.
It is such a relief to see your face.
Shush, she admonished, rolling her eyes at that sentimental tone. He tended to
be overdramatic, and honestly, could she blame him when he dealt with death every
night?
Let me work in silence and stay still. I need to bind this. This is not good; your
aim is going to suffer because of this dislocation. As the sun reared down its waning
head slowly from the clouded sky, the young woman sighed as she finally finished her
work. Give it a few hours, then you can surely stand. Just dont rush it
Her next words were forgotten as she heard the faint dirge-like cadence,
followed by gradual clopping sounds from weary horses and swollen murmurs of gentle
ladies who lingered beside the entrance of the small room.
Her father conveyed caution wordlessly, grasping the tiny, warm hand and
frowned in warning.
In response, she tightened her hold.
Then a booming call, piercing the taut silence, came from the nearby turret.
What came next was an explosion of ear-splitting shouts. She could hear the clinks of
chains that were being rotated on a wheel; the bridge was being brought down to let the
army in.
With a flurry of stained skirts, she ran towards the open pane. From a good
distance, there was the familiar banner, its frayed red-white-green stripes still waving
triumphantly in the wind, held by a young page boy with a wide-toothed grin. Behind the
flag bearer was a sight to see, as hundred files of menwith grime-covered gloves,
brandishing spears and bladesentered the drawbridge. A swarm of people were now
gathering towards the released steel gates, shouting names in joy.
Even though, her identical voice supplied rather negatively inside her head, it is
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certain that there are casualties.
They won? Turning to her father, there was a happiness that she could not
express by a mere smile. We are safe!
But her father was quiet; staring at her with what was an obvious disbelief.
Father? she asked, disturbed with his strange incredulous expression. Without
any further contemplation at the uncomfortable aura that surrounded the room, she turned
her gaze back to the raucous noise outside as the weary iron-clad cavalry filled the
ancient fort.
Sakura?
Her eyes caught the vision of a black steed that stood out in the midst of the
crowd. Faint dark marks splotched the hazel saddle, the creature was still like a
mahogany statue as if waiting.
There was no rider, but as it geared its head towards her, the eyes sparked an
ugly crimson tint. In instinct, she recoiled away from the window.
Her fear was probably apparent on her face; and so she leveled her expression
into a mild-mannered calm.
Someone rapped at the door in three brief, rapid knocks.
Enter.
As the battle-worn man instructed, the door opened and allowed a young man
dressed in dark leathery armor in. His broadsword was fastened on his hips, and a thin
blade was slung on his back, only held by thick animal skin. The stranger was already
unbuckling the straps of his headgear but was interrupted with an infuriated shout.
You! her father exclaimed in fury, raising his brows nearly to his receding
hairline.
She immediately lowered the pointed and injured arm, obviously agitated with
the display of temper.
The newcomer merely entered with two steps, his visage obscured with a metal
helmet. She could see the definite shape of his smooth and white chin at his curt nod, as
well as the thin line of his pale lips. It deepened at its sides, forming a grimace.
I have come here for your pardon. The timbre of his voice was clear, smooth
and low, deceptively courteous in its condescending monotone. Your Grace, I believe
that it was the best course of action.
Or to gloat your victory? her father snidely interjected. As I told you, I am
not inept of
of fighting ten men more, while struggling for breath, the man finished
blandly.
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As he nodded his head and leaned forward in an unmistaken respecting bow,
Sakura thought that she saw few dark raven strands fell from the edges of the metal.
Sir. She did not know why, but there was something that made her stand on
her feet and take an intimidating walk towards him. He is resting. I suggest you leave
and talk of the matters later.
No, Sakura, leave him be! I want to know how he
Rest! She whipped her head back in annoyance, which gladly made him stop.
She then returned her attention back to the young man. Please leave this instant, sir.
He gave her an appraising stare, black marbles glittering obscurely behind the
open slits. She did not back down, as there was an intimidating force that tried to
dissuade her resolve in making him leave. And then he turned his back and began to
retreat, but not without any stinging parting words.
Either way, you would not die by their hands. They would only ask for
ransom, their unwelcome visitor merely said. An unnecessary distraction for the King.
Are you saying that I cannot handle myself? Why you insolent
But then, he could not continue to ramble on degrading obscenities as the visitor
had closed the door.
Who was he?
Hes the braggart who forced me to fall back, he indignantly added in between
gritted teeth. A distraction!
As Sakura resumed in reprimanding her father to tend the swollen injury, she
could only regret that she forgot to ask his name.
ii. from my light | separate me
In the pinnacle of raucous merrymaking, Sakura was still reluctant to leave her
quarters.
With a bit of quick thinking, the young lady managed to come up with an excuse
to delay herself from attending the said feast: telling her handmaidens about an unpacked
luggage and a miserable headache. They willingly obliged to leave her some space, and
granted her request to depart from the lavish lands as soon as the feast ended.
Her hands were already trembling and she nearly swayed on her feet, exhausted.
It took an unending effort to stay inside the crowded abbeys for the wounded. Eleven
excruciating days already passed as she had guaranteed the recovery of his troops,
leaving herself famished.
She was already wishing of returning to her small, homely country manor, or
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even back to the mainland to continue her training as a true practitioner.
It was a selfish notion, but that was only human of her (she was not a saint,
though she almost led a life of one). Besides, her father had been sent home two months
ago, and he had demanded that she would not go outside the strongholds in his absence.
Despite the attempt to avoid the court, the High Lord of the Kingdom summoned
her to join the festivities after they won the west borders within half a year; the young
woman had no choice but to comply. Not knowing how she managed to change to her
attire of a clean chiffon chemise and soft silk bodice of deep turquoise, there was only a
distant memory of being ushered by her attendant in haste till she reached the doors, with
the sleepy pallbearers announcing her name to an expecting crowd.
As soon as she descended the grindstone stairs, her calloused hands were
honored when the cupbearer handed her the silver-plated goblet bearing the insignia of
her maternal clan.
She retracted herself from the shadows of the tapestries decorating the clay brick
walls, trying to steel herself to approach his unguarded back.
. Your Highness. Sakura approached with a serene smile on her face, handing
the triumphant head of the house his plain, lustrous goblet. I give you my salutations.
A pleasant smile smoothed his creasing features before he responded easily,
Thank you, dear.
He accepted the cup with both hands wrapping around the handle, keeping a
thoughtful expression. Sakura decided to wait for him before approaching the subject.
How are the men? Taking a sip of ale from the cold rim, he eyed her with
curiosity.
Thinking it was best to approach the matter gradually, she complied.
They are being treated well, sir. Her lips formed a smile.
How about you, dear? Your education in the courts has been well, I hope? He
leaned forward, his brow furrowed as the King met those green eyes. Will you stay here
for a while till the end of winter?
Sakura nearly fumbled with the sudden question that her grandfather asked her.
Its still early. Mingle with the age of your sort. The old, weary ruler chortled,
noticing that she was still wary in staying longer in the castle. His mottled hand waved
her off towards the crowd. Think about my request and may it help change your mind.
She did not have the heart to dissuade his order and ask for permission to retire
in the quarters. Besides, as the most favored granddaughter, she knew that it would be
rude for her to leave the festivities.
The old King had only two daughters, without any sons, depriving him of any
heir till the birth of the single grandson from the eldest daughter. But still, it was no
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secret that both deceased women were dear to the King. Her resemblance to the youngest
princessmay her mother rest forevermore in peacewas uncanny similar in so many
ways.
From the fall of her bright rose tresses, the resolute glints of her green eyes, and
her headstrong yet caring temperament, she was indeed more of a daughter of a king than
a mere duchess. Lady Haruno proved this, as she bore her exhaustion with a grace that
only a lady of the dignified court could: with her chin upright, her spine ramrod straight,
and her smile belying the strain she was enduring.
The successor of the crown though, had taken more from his deceased father.
But it could not be denied that he was the more viable one to take the throne. He was
more than capable of taking the position despite his carefree ways, and his frequent
absences during festive ceremonial evenings like tonight.
It was a shame, though. He was more of a court jester rather than a powerful
heir. Well, Sakura could understand his distaste of such events since the veiled
animosities and falsities were ever so potent, though subtly hidden in such a celebratory
environment.
Every neck and limb of the invitedeach patrician and their subservient alike
were adorned with baubles of great finery. Their trinkets were made up of malleable
metals and embedded stones as huge as hails. Gossip-mongering women were clad in
ermine fur and patterned silks as they gathered in small circles at the edges of the hall.
Their husbands, on the other hand, were drinking merrily while seated on the long tables
filled with arrays of silverware.
Multi-colored containers were either loaded with tender meats, well-mixed
sallats, hot broths, or fresh pears and apples accompanied by some rare almonds. As the
court members entertained themselves, the minstrels continued to breathe on the lutes and
tweaked on the strings of vielles for those who preferred to remain solitary or dance
along the intertwining harmonious music.
As she wandered to the balustrades in an attempt to conceal herself from the
others, she began to presume that their sovereign was now seeking nobles and gents alike.
She faintly saw the murky white streaked hair weaving its way around the
galley, confirming that he was currently giving leather pouches filled with gold coins to
the brave knights that had won the latest campaign on the Vest Mare territories. Unlike
most conquerors that seized most of the spoils, most of the Haruno Halls riches were
well-distributed to the serfs. Hence, it was not surprising for the duchess to be
occasionally sent to the local convent in her younger years.
Her thoughts drifted to her father again, as disorganized as her mind was that
night, making her unaware to a great surprise when the horn caught her attention.
Everyone kept to their silence, as the booming voice of the door warden
announced an unfamiliar name, entitled as an honorable captain that lead their armies to a
glorious victory.
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It prompted the crowd to buzz in an expected energy as a tall individual stepped
out from the archway, his features strange from the people who lived in the plains. He
was pale and unmarked, yet he was covered in black mink on his head and snake leather
on his feet, with traces of the darkest lapis lazuli on his now discarded cloak from his
shoulders to reveal coarse breeches. His raven strands were straight and he had a
surprisingly clean, shaven face, making him very youthful despite his imposing height.
It seemed that she was not the only one who wondered about him. The questions
rippled through the room, despite her scanty mingling with the hushed hearsays,
increasing her moderate interest.
In a quick observation, her roving glance saw that a couple of scarred men gazed
at him with their countenance tensing when he passed them. Most of the younger soldiers
were avoiding his stare, but they did speak to him briefly when the necessity arose.
While torn to observe him and listen to the incessant chattering, she was
surprised at the lack of information about the new company. For nay, not even a murmur
was said of his existence in court beforemost especially about the circulating news of
being an extremely talented captain under her Kings employ.
By this time, the interesting young guest had abandoned the pretense to speak
with anyone, opting instead to stand silent as the evening went on. It fueled the
speculationstold in dulcet whispersas they noticed the respect their king held for the
newcomer: he was probably a disgraced duke in another land, the hushed murmurs told
her. He had sought refuge in their borders, started out as a ragged prisoner who fought till
he became a wise, though temporarily, advisor to the Northern King,
But there must be a price, she suspiciously concluded, if the rapidly-spreading
rumors were true.
That fine young lad, another richly-clad, plump drunk woman said, gobbling
up the fresh wine loquaciously as she joined in the conversation in a ruckus, resembles
one of those sons in Sudest Munti, that he is.
Was her assumption correct? He probably lived in eternal winter, as the old
superstitious mystics would always say, the evidence shown by the pallid color of his
skin. But why was he here? Men from the South never dared to step on the soil of the flat
lands no matter how dire the circumstances were.
The elderly boyars sold off their strongest warriors to the neighboring
enemies, another piped up in the group, stick-thin and more inebriated as well. I
assume their hefty price is enough for their councilors to secure their tenure over the
lands.
But I have heard that he was an extreme barbarian in his methods
That barbarian you have spoken of had flattened those who dared to oppose
us, a stiff noble interjected harshly in a low voice, slightly terrified that their voices
might be carried to the end of hall where their subject was. He is not a mere knight, you
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nitwit. Not only is he considered a hero, he is probably as blue-blooded as your pompous
veins.
As he said this, the women finally caught a flash of metal pinned on his chest, as
well as that small signet ring among the simple silver bands, glinting innocently on his
smallest finger.
A nervous silence filled the room, dispelled suddenly by a single whine of a
string.
By heavens, did he come from a noble line? They quivered their fans and
lowered their heads to her with an excited gleam in their greedy eyes. He is probably a
prince in exile! Is not that quite romantic? What do you think of it?
It was not farfetched to think that he could also be a prince, seeing that the ring
did not resemble a crest of any house in the kingdom, yet the mere idea to procure his
attention for such a reason was preposterous. There is no romance in exile, she almost
retorted to these twittering ladies and their ridiculous cone-shaped headdresses. But she
drew in a ragged breath, shook her head and merely smiled, deciding to pull her gaze
away from the rigid back of that mysterious guest.
But she never had the chance to do so when the singular raven-haired man
shifted his head.
An eye returned her curious gaze, held her petrified in place.
No, there was nothing of the old wives anecdotes that described the symptoms
of infatuationsthat there would be no presence of time, that her heart would be caught
in between her throat, or that a small current of thunder would run through her spine.
It was nothing like that.
Instead, there was something that made everything feel right, yet terribly wrong
at the same time. He made her want to stay frozen like this, while she was being
swallowed whole with hisdare she say domineering?stare. The seconds did decide to
trickle in a faltering pace, but it did not stop while his whole face slowly turned to her.
Madame Haruno? Their soft voices stirred her away from the gripping
trepidation that held her, trapped and mesmerized in the abrupt melding of warmth and
cold behind her chest. Are you alright?
Yes, she breathed out, flashing peridot-shaded irises back to where she saw
him staring at her. Yet that seemed impossible, as he was now silently listening to the
conversation in front of him. There was no indication that he even acknowledged her
presence.
The carriage has been waiting for three hours! Shizune, one of her
handmaidens, blustered in swiftly, as she was ushered towards the end of the hall. You
have been awake since dawn, what were you thinking?
No. She found herself shaking her head, resignation to accept her
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grandfathers request. I shall stay here as long as my King needs me.
What? But child, your father
He managed to get along when I was gone for a year, she retorted easily, as
the lady-in-waiting was, again, trying to change her mind. A few months would be okay,
besides the King beseeches my continued presence.
But goodness, you must retire early then. There was another round of Shizune
fretting over her as she smoothed the strawberry locks away from her face, devoid of any
pressed powder and rouge. You look easy on the eyes, dear, but I can see those shadows
on your face. Off to bed.
The nonsensical remonstrations went on, swelling in admonitions while Sakura
left the feast unnoticed, her mind clear of anything except for the thought of what on
earth was she doing. Surely, her father would throw a fit, but maybe he would understand
after a few days.
Seconds later, a pair of slate eyes flickered to her recently emptied spot.
iii. Withdraw her from her pain!
Three moon cycles passed as she resided in the spacious brick-wall castle,
waiting for news of her fathers recuperation. Already longing for home, she sighed
miserably, for life in the royal court was, unfortunately, dreadful.
Sakura rather expected too much that something would happen. Granted that
wishing for trouble was unspeakable, she was becoming rather listless. The days were too
tame for her usual standards, compared to her gallivanting to foreign places to learn from
brilliant minds across the seas of the North, amidst the protest of her scandalized, bigoted
distant relatives. If it was not for the fact that she was dedicated to a cause and was
respected by the clergymen, she would have been labeled as a rebelor worse, a
courtesan.
Thus, she patiently waited for the pained moans and pitiful cries from the
afflicted, which would definitely keep her busy enough. But as time went by, the castle
walls became absent of any violent uprising or secret sieges. The rustle and bustle of
needlework replaced the clangs and hiss of blades especially now that the freezing stone
manor was in serious need of thicker clothing and draperies; autumn was already at hand
and winter nearing.
Ensnaring chains of hearsays proliferated heavily, since the household help only
had this as leisure during the idle breaks in between the dishes and stable work. Although
she had no intention of participating in it, they continued to fill her in with the news.
arguing on territorial regions?
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Squabbling and bantering over a piece of land, but how can they
As the thin steel emerged from the sea of cloth from its fiftieth stitch, she was
roused with a call.
Somebody came to see you, my lady. Lord Uzu
Let him in, she said without looking to the doors, busy in threading the next
pattern.
And in came a young man blessed by the sun, dressed loosely in his tucked dress
shirt and worn breeches. In a stunned response at his sudden visit, everyone stood up
from their seats in courtesy as the highest lady in the room was suddenly engulfed in a
bear hug, making her catch her breath in strangled laughter.
Naruto! Her lightened expression wiped out every trace of her boredom.
Domesticated? He guffawed, crinkling the beaming lines on his tanned face.
This is definitely a first.
Really now. Raising a slim eyebrow, she was amused as he seemed to be
happier in the presence of maidens who kept on tattling as he unmanly waved his arms in
excitement.
Finally getting a good look at her cousin, the little details now became stark on
his colored skin; she noticed the white lines and remnants of dirt scattered along his arms.
Lord Uzumaki. The ladies managed a half-bow with a graceful nod,
respectfully ignoring the twos rather enthusiastic conversation.
There is no battle ongoing, right? It was all over, her voice was terribly calm,
arms dropping to her sides with her fingers clenched over the terrain of tartan cloth on her
sleeves. Why are there new scars on you? And bandages! Are you still fighting? I
thought that
Its not a battle that is directly connected to us, but yes. His smile dropped a
notch, stirring the afternoon light on his shadowed face. There were a couple of dues to
be paid.
And they were?
He rolled his eyes at the probing questions.
You really are keen when it comes to the these things. There was resignation
in his voice as he picked up the fallen embroidered quilt. If I were you, I would stop
worrying and just enjoy myself here.
And what do you think should I do here?
Be a lady for once? But I think you do it very badly.
If you dare mock me one more time, I will slay you with my needle.
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How about I accompany you around the grounds?
No need, Id prefer to be undisturbed.
As she was speaking, she finally realized that her visitor was not alone. She
noticed an outline of a shadow, leaning casually against the far windowsill outside her
open door.
She could feel impatience rolling off from the seemingly familiar young man,
though she could not see the shadowed features, hindered by the glare of the bright sun.
His skin was unnaturally pale, and had she seen that formal stance somewhere?
The sudden ruffle on her hair by the towering blond halted her from
remembering.
Should you be going? Recovering from her daze, she gave a final embrace as
he went to the door.
Oh, I need to go to the old man now. With a grin, Naruto added, But
remember, I dont want you cooping yourself here. Go outside!
She grimaced, her wandering thoughts forgotten. You just want me to get in
trouble again.
Have it your way then. Lightening up her morning, her cousin, the lone
grandson of the respectable Uzumaki Housethe crown princelaughed out in mirth as
he exited the room, almost obscuring the sound of her closing door.
Though, she could not get rid of the feeling that the dark-haired companion
already left as well. And there were black eyes that were, somehow, watching her every
movement.
iv. My sweet delight
Night had nearly befallen the grounds, but the young woman still lingered in the
herbal patches inside the walled gardens. Fragrant leaves of agrimonies and wild
peppermint teased her nose, deeming it a fair exchange for an aching back when she had
procured a considerable amount of leaves to be brewed for the whole month. With her
wise old handmaiden, Shizune, they were about to retreat to the lower kitchens when she
was greeted with an urgent missive, bursting in the tiny pen and nearly bowling over a
bed of lilies.
Lady Haruno! The message rang clearly in her ears as she brushed the remnants
of soil and thorns that clung at the edges of her apron. His highness calls for your
presence for the early supper. In haste, please.
Her heart thumped against her ribcage, knowing that she had left the castle
parameters with a steed.
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He always called for her, which was quite understandable for the most favorable
granddaughter. Their concern would either be about her tempestuous father or her Grand
Aunt Tsunade, who would send her more lessons about healing. But those conversations
took place before retiring for the night, with a mug of hot cider in the mess room.
This sudden change made her guts twist painfully in trepidation.
Ill news. That was all she could surmise from the summon.
She arrived in the corridors when the horizon was already painted with burning
gold and faded velvet. She fixed the linen circlet over her veil with a damp hand and an
exasperated tug, the edges of the brown frock she wore were covered in black soot and
red earth as she stepped inside the corridors.
She curbed the urge to be unladylikelike stride over the last steps in one big
leap.
Standing before the doors within a minute, Sakura paused for a deep breath as
her name was announced by the page boy. Inclining her head slightly in respect, the
elderly King sat at the table, food laid untouched as he talked to the young manUchiha,
she remembered from the maidswho sat at the right side of the table bathed with the
soft glow of the fireplace behind them.
Your Highness, she said pleasantly, the sight that welcomed her instantly
dousing her insides with frost and flame at the same time. Forgive me for my delay.
Both gazes of dark smoke and waning viridian focused on her. A silence
stretched for a mile before a smile lightened up her grandfathers face.
Thank you, my dear. Please have a seat.
As she hurriedly took her place on the left, facing across their silent guest, her
King prompted to speak again, He was not properly introduced to you in the festivities
last time, I presume? Gesturing her towards the silent man, he then spoke the title that
was withheld from her during the last celebrations, Sakura, this is the son of my dear
friend Lord Fugaku, bless his soul. He is the last remaining Duke of Havaselve and Count
of the Southern Alps. And surprisingly, a fine gentleman from the Knights of the Red
Moon.
"Sasuke Uchiha." The young man, who probably had the truest blood of the
Southern Kings deep within his marrows, tilted his chin to her in response.
A prince.
Sakura Haruno. Her composure held despite the fact that she was swathed in
mud and he was impeccable in his attire. As that thought crossed to her mind, red faintly
stained the apples of her cheeks. It was hard to ignore that even in the simplest of
breeches and coat, he was appealing. The young man, thankfully, was facing away from
her as he conversed with her grandfather.
For some reason, there was a nervous stirring at the bottom of her gut as they
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carried on with their conversation. It was unusual to feel intimidated by a certain
presence despite knowing that he was not paying attention to her.
Her grandfather noticed her uncharacteristic silence as well, as he kept darting
his teal eyes at her in apparent puzzlement. She did not even acknowledge those worried
gazes, pondering instead on the number of small smooth stones on the wall behind the
young man.
As the meal went on, the anxiety dwindled down to the back of her mind,
content in listening to the harmless discussions about trade routes.
I am really pleased with this unexpected visit. Surely you would like to join my
court for a game?
Though she feigned inattention, surprisingly, her ears were attuned to his reply.
Pardon me, Your Highness. I need to attend to some matters. It was a vague,
indifferent reply. She could not understand why he seemed to avoid her gaze too.
With that, Sasuke paced away without even a glance back. And Sakura was
drawn unconsciously to a trance from the sight of his fading back.
He just came from your estates.
That statement interrupted her thoughts, already reading the nuance behind that
statement.
What does he want? Her shoulders tensed at this. It was preposterous that a
stranger who just learned her name just went to her home.
You owe him your gratitude. Dropping a lower notch to his usually reedy
voice, the King continued while wrapping a mottled hand over her unexpectedly rough
calluses. The lad saved your father from a meaningless death. If I am not mistaken, you
met him once in the sick bay?
Then, she finally remembered the tall man that had a condescending glare,
invidious even behind a rusty visor.
But why did he go to my home?
He asked for There was a slight querulous look that lingered on the tired
stare. your hand.
Sakura opened her mouth, tried to speak, but only a nearly strangled sound came
out.
The King was quick to assimilate the problem, soothing the bristling atmosphere
that surrounded his granddaughter.
From what I have gathered, Lord Uchiha gave a hefty deal when your father
refused. In my opinion, it is worth deliberating. But no, your father is right As
expected, her father would be a fuming dolt with this sudden development. You are
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worth more than an alliance. It is your decision though. Neither will I require you to
answer his proposal, but I shall not pretend that this offer is truly favorable. And do you
not think that he is rather a fine
You frighten me sometimes, grandfather. Do you fancy him?
Dear child. There was a shrewd smile that made Sakura curse inwardly. I
think I am not the one who fancies him.
With a sharp intake of breath, she nearly stumbled while escaping with a
mortified flush on her cheeks.
Extremely amused, his grisly laughter resonated through the halls.
She dearly hoped that Lord Uchiha did not hear, for her dignitys sake.
v. Take me, death
Contrary to popular belief, Lady Haruno was not nave.
She was raised in the convent and privately trained by her the well-known
spinster, a motherly Senju Archduchess, in the boundaries of her own home. Her
education was solely enviable, as no woman could obtain such knowledge and be given
the power of mendicancy, never once was she deprived of the inner workings of the
political court. She learnt enough, knew enoughthe intricacies and intentions behind
every gesture, the polite remarks hiding the venomous meanings. Sakura knew that it was
purely political strategy, with an intention to intimidate, or worse, to exonerate certain
privileges from a powerful country.
It was already late tea when she sought his presence in the stately citadel. He
raised his bent head from the dusty pages that lay open on his lap. She stood before him,
her pleated hair perfectly done, with a tray of tea and cakes and a serene smile on her
face, a picture of a woman in complete obeisance.
Lord Uchiha.
When he rose from the seat, he did it impressively, as his height made him more
daunting. Tearing her teal gaze away from the leather cover, she braced herself in
meeting his eyes.
Tell me a good reason why I should marry you.
Sakura cautiously turned her gaze away, uncomfortable with the pregnant
silence.
That small action made her miss the simple raise of an eyebrow.
Such a mere marriage will not be enough to strengthen alliances. She was
trying to emulate his nonchalance. What can you possibly gain?
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A wife. He parried her blunt words with a sharp tongue. And in turn, you will
have my fealty and allegiance.
At that, she could not say anything else but blatant disbelief.
I cannot believe you.
He inclined his head, the allusion behind his words not lost to her.
You will not threaten me, sir. Nothing belied her rankled position except her
calm words. My country is not weak. And you have the audacity to imply it so? You
have been freed from your captivity by sheer circumstance of need.
You listen well, Lady Haruno.
The flush spread to her cheeks, towards the edges of her dimpled shoulders; her
nostrils flared, probably in repressed anger. But when he smirked, he probably knew the
reason behind the radiating heat on her face: it was rather disgraceful for a learned
woman of her stature, raised painstakingly in the holy grounds, to degrade herself to
listen to servant gossip.
The last thing that she needed was for this mananyone, she added hastilyto
think less of her.
Her lips opened, but she could not think of any defense.
Instead, she asked again.
Why me, Lord Uchiha? There was no intensity in her words. Do you know
what my plans are after I leave the castle? In a few weeks time, Im going to accept my
holy vocation
I know.
Her throat closed off and she stared distantly towards the windows, trying not to
think too much of the thawing stare that seemed to find its way more frequently on her.
But why...why her?
He could not possibly not know.
Everyone knew that sixteen years was already too old for matrimony, as women
were obligated to be carted to men by the time she was old enough to bleed. If the rite of
passage to womanhood already passed for a year, there was a lesser chance that her
womb would bring forth a son.
Its too late, Lord Uchiha.
I cannot bear you an heir.
She could have spoken that out loud, but that was like admitting defeat.
I will never allow myself to be tied to such marriage. Her courage grew, as she
drew herself to her full height. She might be petite, but her head was raised high enough
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to tell him that her choice was honorable. Id rather be in the abbey to help other
unfortunate souls.
There was a cynical chuckle, almost unheard, a soft little rumble that disturbed
the tranquility of the room.
I am only giving you an option.
He rose from his seat, the surprising coolness of his skin soothing on her heated
hand as he took the tray from her shaking grasp.
Good evening, Lady Haruno.
That night, she remained in her room, quiet contemplation diminishing her
appetite. Her refusal to satiate her hunger was met with the protests of her chamber
maidens, but there were more pressing things for her to deliberate.
Because the name Haruno signified being part of ancient nobility, Sakura had
fine trousseaus settled on her; an inheritance that spanned a terrain of small valleys,
protected by the natural mountainous landscape of the borders, far from the vicinity of
capitals and merchants.
But when Sakura was a child, all she wanted was to be normal. However, she
could not deny her heritage, discerning with her young mind that it was inevitable that
she would live a different path from other girls. Although like any aspiring six year old,
she was ordained to follow an ancient practice of royal ladies and peasant lasses alike: to
collect trinkets and valuables that could be used for the moment of their matrimony.
No one was spared from the tradition.
A cherry wood chest filled with small treasures was the proof of that tradition. It
was filled with small precious thingsof heirlooms of women from the Senju line: a
delicately embroidered gown, a chain of small jewels, tortoise rings with gold engravings
for her small fingers.
However, when she turned twelve years old and she took charge of purchasing
her own presents, her collection deviated from the usual bridal treasures: the chest was
soon filled with stained leather-bound books, crafted instruments for tumor extractions.
But there were still long chains of gold strings, with ornaments kept for dainty hands,
given by her kinga sign of calling for her to serve their kingdom, no matter who she
would marry.
For some reason, Sakura had the urge to burn the dresses and tear the chains.
Instead, she slept on the floor holding onto the blue wedding silk.
vi. the just Simeon's | Certain word
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It was rather surprising when her cousin dropped by for another visit. It was
rather delightful for him to when she felt like her head was going to be axed from its
shoulders. A great commotion commenced from her scandalized servants when Naruto,
as eccentric as he was, decided to call on her during an early evening. The prince was
laughing and breathing heavily, sky eyes glinting with happiness. A faint freesia scent
surrounded him, and Sakura knew that it came from the private gardens in the Hyuuga
household.
Can it wait till morning? she grumbled irritably as she shooed away her
maidservants, steering him towards her receiving room.
Now where is the fun in that? If I need to talk to you inside my own house, then
I can do so whenever I want.
Have you ever heard of propriety? Her scowl was warning enough, but he did
not retreat since it was already a sign of her good mood. It was helpful to know of the
rumor that a pink-haired, hot-tempered noblewoman was more terrifying when disturbed
from slumber. Thus, he made sure to visit her before retiring for the night, so as not to
face her wrath at an early dawn.
Maybe, he replied as easily, a bold grin on his face. But I will be leaving
again in the early morn, and I just want to say something.
Go on. She laughed, good humor intact, expecting another of those ridiculous
gossip mongering or his antics with his soon-to-be wife from the East. He sat on the
cushioned oak chair with his still amicable smile, so Sakura did not know where their
conversation would go. Is it true?
About? she prompted, settling the tray of tea and crumpets on the table.
You are engaged to Sasuke.
Her hand paused in reaching for the teacup. She stilled and gazed intensely at
the faultless golden rimming of the red linen. She took a deep breath and sharply exhaled
out.
Nobody knows that. Her words were accusing. Who told you?
If you are being forced to marry him, her blond cousin shrugged off her query
and mussed his spiky tresses with a hand in anxiety, I can hide you in my house and let
the thing pass. He deserves a kick to his gut. I can make sure that he leaves you alone.
She finally shook her head, putting the fine porcelain cup in front of him. I
already accepted it, Naruto.
What? But you just finished your apprenticeship under old granny
Her fingers trembled for a second. I already accepted.
His face crumpled at her response. Sakura.
"My father is alive because of him." The dry lips were bit by a pair of nervous
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teeth. "Think of it as payment."
There was a hush that seemed to stretch on for a whole candle mark, but it was
merely a few trickles of wax that passed before he raised the cup and tasted the bitter
drink.
So, if you are not that argumentative on the matter Naruto continued lightly,
his hands wrapping around the fragile cup and his eyes following her almost stiff
movements as she took the porcelain pot.
You fell in love with him? Sakura could not blame the incredulous tone he
had.
The spout nearly missed the edge of her cup. I-I have just known him for a few
days!
Sasuke, he dismissed the sudden stutter in her words and the fluster in her face
as she tried to pour the dark colored beverage without rattling the china, is a powerful
man. Even more at the present, where he has regained his rightful inheritance. And as I
will be the future king, I think that an ally like him will indeed be beneficial.
She could not even look at him, not knowing what her response should be.
But as your cousin No, as a friend. His boyish tilt was lowering. I think
that he is not worth ruining your life for.
There was a spark of temper as her fingers twitched on her lap, but she remained
silent.
How can you presume that?
Because, Sakura, you dont even know him, he whispered with a grimace.
Gone were his cajoling smile and joking gaze, replaced by a serious faade and a
clenching hand over his right knee. You might be involved in the wars, but you have
never been involved in the battlefield.
Sakura could not argue with his words, for Naruto was right. Always right, in
fact. No matter how many people had perceived the boisterous, lighthearted prince as a
dimwitted political figure, he was still cunning enough to trick the older fools who
wanted him out of the line.
Alright. She grasped her sweating palms together and sat primly on the chair
with an attentive glide of her head towards him. It never hurt to hear whatever Naruto had
to say, as he would always be her concerned dear friend. Im listening.
Sasuke Naruto then began to feel as awkward and uneasy as her, obviously
uncomfortable on being put on such a spot. I think there is something wrong with
Sasuke.
Your point is?
Yes, yes. But this is going to soundodd. Never did Naruto fiddle with his
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thumbs, but he was nervously rubbing the large pads of those two fingers together. Have
you ever seen Sasuke actually eat?
I am not following you.
He He inhaled another mouthful of air before he stammered with a rush,
drinks blood.
Pardon me? Nearly sputtering the liquid out of her mouth, Sakura gaped from
the uncomfortable face that Naruto was making. When he did not explain further, a small
stifled giggle escaped from her throat.
This somehow strengthened his resolve. He fully glared at her and fisted his
hands.
It is not funny.
Of course not, it is hilarious! she managed to reply in spite of the suppressed
chortles. Most outrageous nonsense I have ever heard.
He stood up from the padded seat, as if his composure nearly seeped out from
him.
Then, as her laughter turned into peals that filled the emptiness, a defeated smile
crept up to his face. I guess I was being ridiculous.
Silly, Sakura reiterated as her mirth subsided to a hiccupping fit. But he does
look like a walking corpse, like those undead tales that travelers like to tell stories about.
There were the remnants of a pondering look on his face before it melted into
complacency.
Good night, Lady Haruno.
vii. May I not be separated from you
Everyone in the household expected an abundant amount of heavy rains. And it
was confirmed as the tendrils of dark grey cumulus unfurled, drifting lazily in front of the
faded sun. Seeing them across the morning horizon dampened the happy state she was in.
Fortunately, her mind was pleasantly blank, her fingers drumming idly at the window
ledge.
It was already her last day inside the palace; she needed to pack immediately.
But even moving a single article of clothing remained daunting, and she remained
instead, staring at the remaining detritus of dog-eared books and worn-out boots scattered
across her carpeted floor.
It had already been a month since the news of her acceptance of a certain
Southerners proposal made ripples in the court. She had received praises from distant
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acquaintances, accepted well-wishes from unknown relatives, and a few scornful remarks
from the circle of court ladies.
She had no heart to depart now, knowing what she would face upon arriving at
her homely abode. The paternal rage that exuded from there was almost palpable beneath
her fingers. Her father might not acknowledge her false motives in marrying the reclusive
young man, but she was more fearful that he might scoff at her new, untested emotions.
Not wanting to remain inside her stifling room, she gathered the strength to rise
from the patio and walked towards the door. As soon as Sakura turned the knob, the tip of
her small nose almost collided against a hard shoulder.
Good morning. She breathed the scent of melted ice and faded clean soap.
It was time.
He did not return her greeting, but still she followed him.
***
The black mare was heavily armed, probably trained for war campaigns. A
bridled saddle encumbered its back, as Sakura brought a small package on her hands,
wearing a light white riding grown, only trimmed with the light olive shades of lace on
the collar and gauzy brilliant silk on her sleeves.
We will take a path behind the rivers. Follow the road.
She seemed surprised when he draped a heavy cloak on her shoulders. With a
closer inspection under the hood, she realized that it was made up of rare cloth. Much
thicker than mink or any animal fur, but it was warmer and comfortable than any wrap
she had ever worn.
Then deviate from it and make our way to Carpantas.
She did not know if he had taken her with the permission of her relatives, all she
knew was that he had came to her door and asked if she was free for a long ride. Without
any hesitation, she had agreed to accompany him.
They both overlooked the glassy expanse of the river. She was dressed in a plain
shade of celadon, with her hair unbound as the wind distressed it through the journey.
It was slightly bemusing that he had not even asked her to pack anything, only
providing her a thick leather coat, as well as carrying a few packages of food on the
horses back. She did not have any inkling of where they were going, but she had her
blind trust placed on him, knowing that her safety was preeminent on his side.
It was on the third day that she finally asked him. Her hair, woven to a thick
braid, seemed to bristle even with the slight caress of a breeze. The winds were getting
stronger and colder as they trudged on, her green tunic and thick brown breeches
becoming increasingly inadequate. Does my father know Im with you?
His Highness is informed, he only said, but he did not confirm if anyone knew
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that she was with him.
I asked if my father knows.
He will.
But then, if you have taken me
You came to me willingly, he replied, which made the matter that she was
abducted erased.
Leave me here. Her protest was futile, she knew. But it would not deter her to
voice it out. I do not care if I have to go back by foot.
The horse came to a stop.
He came down, disentangling himself from the stirrups and grinding the rocky
ground with his hard boots.
What are you doing? Sakura tried not to squirm when his large hands held the
sides of her waist. A heated brush of crimson painted a trail across her face.
Come.
The fingers steadily gripped her hips, molding them easily on her body as if it
was normal for him to carry flustered women down from their horses. Aside from hurting
her pride with his act of chivalry, there was another reason why she did not want him
touching her anywhere.
Im heavy.
It addled the insides of her head whenever he was that close. Could she have
picked a better reason?
Well see.
There was that familiar curve on his facea smirk that quickly hackled her ire
to the fore.
I can go down on my own, Lord Uchiha.
Instead of stepping back, he only lifted her off the steed.
And because she needed to find her anchor, her hands rested on his shoulders in
panic.
When Sakura was finally sure that her feet were on solid earth, she refused to
look up. She did not want to see the smug expression on his face, as she felt his chin
nearly brushing the crown of her head.
Realizing that she was still holding onto him tightly, the young duchess rapidly
retracted her hands, and failed to mask her pleased countenance to what she saw behind
him.
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He raised his eyebrow as her eyes roved over the scenery before her: gushing
streams, creeping vines, dew-stained leaves, fluttering willows, and a dream-like chateau
of what probably stood there for centuries.
You live in the mountain pass. The aging castle was perched on the edge of
a sharp canyon, with a river gushing forth underneath the larger earth. A valley flourished
behind the picturesque view. It was nothing like the place that her people believed of
Havaselve, the legends speaking of endless frosts and icicles. There was even a basilica
that stood erect at the mouth of the river bed, at the end of the tall staircase.
I did, he said under the canopy of fire trees that scattered along the road
towards the gleaming fortress. There was a certainty that he was pleased with her reaction
as they continued to tread on.
It was not your home before?
My mothers summer house, he curtly answered after a few seconds.
Then where did you? She placed a quick stopper on her thoughtless mouth
before the question was finished, in fear of the slowly building tension.
They suddenly came to a stop, in front of a cove curtained by blossoming vines
of white bougainvilleas as they nearly approached the ridge.
Marry me here. The statement was clear-cut, straight and she could not help
but wonder how on earth he could be so composed while uttering those words.
It is beautiful here, but it would not be right
Sakura could not continue her unimportant burble as she saw what the lord
before her was doing. Fingers, fair yet roughly burnt, slowly took off the sole adornment
on his right hand. He flexed his left hand and on the middle of its palm was the seemingly
harmless object, being offered to her.
Wear it.
But the lady could only stare at it, a marring blot to the white expanse of his
hand. The signet ring was probably as ancient as the grounds they were standing on.
Symbols of ravens and half-moons were carved on banded colors of red and onyx;
enormous untold stories lay behind that little thing.
And now, as that priceless heirloom was laid out for her to take, the gravity of
his actions heightened her apprehension. All they needed was for the heaven to witness
them, this ring to replace the carnelian gems that represented her own line, and a simple
verbum, like the matrimony of the old, would be enough for her to be tied to him.
She raised her hesitant eyes to meet those irises, light refracting shades that were
comparable to small, circular oceans at twilight before a tempestdeeply gray and
deceitfully calm, where lesser men became complacent as they were lulled to security and
met their watery grave.
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But the man in front of her dropped his gaze, and he slowly took her hand that
was hovering between them.
And when ash-black eyes met again with her tremulous meadow-green, there
was a query in that gaze. It might be asking for approval or inquiring about her sanity, but
she paid no heed to it; Sakura drew a nervous breath and closed her eyes.
His touch fluttered across the sensitive skin at the back of her hand. She felt a
tinge of guilt because she was wearing his coat, knowing that the weather was more bitter
than the welcoming weather of her home. She was cold, yes, but it seemed unlikely that
such skin could be this freezing.
These links of thought were gone the moment she reached her other hand over
his.
And as she inhaled deeply, the cold stone slipped to her finger, a seal to their
covenant. She delicately traced the engravings and edges of its tiny blue-black wings,
almost alive in their statuesque mid-flight. A reddish line was on the base of the emblem,
written in ancient words, Awaken, lands beyond the snowy valleys, ending with the
carved white edelweiss.
As if he had heard the skittering nervous thoughts, his gentle hold on her cheek
raised her face towards him. His hand threading through the revealed locks of rose, as a
soft fluttering touch of icehis lipsgrazed on her forehead. He left a warming trail as
his breath thawed and drifted over her closed lids, the tip of her temple, and on the bridge
of her nose.
Lukewarm fingers traced her mouth, slightly chapped but still smooth, as she
had continuously wetted and bitten it for the past hour. His creased palm held her at the
base of her head, the sensuous exhalation on her face deliberate, and then he laid his
genteel, chaste kiss on her waiting lips.
Sakura could tell that her world did stop. It was theirs, isolated and centered on
the both of them. There was a bold hope that beat loudly on her chest, making her believe
that maybe, maybe this choice was not a mistake.
When he came closer, she learned how corrupting desire could be.
Sheweak yet willful, unyielding and unsurewanted to be with him.
This was her only thought as they took and coveted at that moment.
Both were gradually being submerged in wintry breeze and heated touch, liquid
flame and jolting ice drowning her mind rather than minding their nakedness. In the
defining silence and on the shades of this clandestine place, they were joined
(he kneels before her, while she stands on the fertile earth, affixed to the soil
with a sturdy arm on her waist. she hears crawling murmurs, oaths that he sings in a low
tenor, on the smooth expanse of her belly,
be faithful, either in illness or in health
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she laces her fingers through his black strands while glazed green eyes opens,
she answers,
i do.
and she curls her spine towards himhe is an obsidian butterfly alighting on a
sole petal of pink on the verdant earthher moist mouth dapples his dark head,
repeating vows that she remembers clearly, intimate and binding,
until death do us depart
sight and scent and sensation engulf the sun and the stars and the sky as feverish
bodies press close; it is the first time she ever feels that he is warm, he is human.
and he latches his hand on her elbow, pulls her gradually, tenderly to him as he
replies,
i do.)
viii. My heart's inner ache | Never abates
Bearing the symbol of the Uchiha housethe ruling family of Havaselvewas
heavy on her third finger.
After reading the ecstatic letter from her cousin on her marriage, she received an
amusing message from a hot-tempered Duke who nearly risked a damaging confrontation
where he threatened to storm their abode, take her back, and cut her husband with a blunt
blade. But it was rather impossible when the King himself had already given his word,
his only precious granddaughter, to his strongest ally.
Living in the red walls of the Cetatea was normalwhatever was normal when
you were their respected queen.
With no guidance, she did her best in keeping the stately manor as homely as
possible. She had two female assistants, who often reminded her that as their lady, she
was not entitled to even lift her finger. She only responded that her restless state could
not take inactivity for such a long time.
For almost a month, she had not seen what was beyond the brick and mortar
walls of the castle. Sasuke often left early and rarely returned home before dusk. They
did not share any dinners or lunches after the first week, and the oak racks in their room
were always devoid of its sable. But it was her great pleasure to at least spend a few
moments before dawn, as limbs rested and looped on her when her exhausted body was
too captivated with the seductions of sleep.
But today, Sakura made sure that she would wake before he leaves.
The silver beams disappeared behind the curtains of dark clouds, providing the
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only illumination inside the shadowy room. A faint smoky scent floated in from outside,
perhaps from the incense that was asked to be burned earlier, almost making her drowsy.
As she remained there, bones cold and heart even colder, she waited for her husband to
stop staring outside and turn towards her.
Lucid moon light peeked between the window panes.
He spared her one dark eye, staring at her in response.
Are you awake, Sasuke?
Soft rustling of their thick embroidered coverlet answered her silent question, his
warmth departing from her curious touch. It was always like this before the sun even rose
from the summit of those snowy peaks.
Her adjusting eyesight only caught the lines of his taut back cast by the fragile
candle light.
A breath escaped from her lips, a sweet sigh. Rising as her cascading locks
followed the path of her bare back, she raised her eyes as he suavely walked to the other
side of their room.
"Can I go with you today?"
There was that small second when his hand hesitated as he was about to pick the
folded clothes on the bedside.
"Go back to sleep," he spoke them deliberately, as if trying to gauge her
reaction.
The thought of those crinkled epistles hidden beneath a tin box made her deeply
miss her family. "I need to send them. Father will probably be"
"Sakura."
Whenever he spoke of her name in that dark, hypnotizing smoothness,
everything would stop to hear that deep intonation; how the soft authority curled over the
syllables, her flushing in response.
As she shifted to sit and lean her head against the ornately carved oak posts, he
was almost finished in buttoning his dark leather vest.
"I am merely accompanying you." Her teeth gritted in obvious disdain, a woman
of no rank nor name, only to be known as the wife and consort of this enigmatic King of
the Cold South. "There shall be no need to imprison me."
She already knew his ostensible reply.
"Do not go outside."
"And why not?"
In his typical reaction, he turned slowly on his naked heel, exposing the play of
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shadows on his stoic faade to her.
"I am not a child, Sasuke." It was a grating thing to point this out to a man who
was supposed to be intelligent.
His low impassive murmur was resonant, still clear as if he had spoken them
aloud, "You have no place in conflict."
"And I know that I have no stature among men," her soft alto repeated the same
intonation of his cautionary words. "I am merely going to the nearby village and am very
much capable of protecting myself.
"Stay." And he strode away, Sakura missing the wavering tremble on his voice
as he walked away.
Sakura felt the cold bite of her ring on her mouth as she covered it and tried not
to cry.
ix. From my eyes tears are flooding
Risking crossing his ire and receiving an annoyed stare, the pink-haired woman
went unannounced to his work den when he returned.
He sat on the comfortable velvet seat, sipping on his goblet of wine that he
religiously took every night. They told her that it invigorated him, and she did not
question it, as he was still sober and men were rarely intoxicated at such a small amount
in their flagons.
When she entered, he raised a brow and contorted his face into a displeased
grimace.
Sakura never meant to keep this from him: the sudden bouts of nausea and her
loss of appetite, the sudden fatigue, the shocked expressions of her confidants in the
castle
"Sasuke?"
He was entitled to know that he was the father of her child.
So she would tell him.
He slowly settled the silver goblet on his desk, unhooked his fingers around its
wide stalk, and stood up to walk towards her.
I planned to tell you earlier, but I wasnt sure if it wast-true. She did not
want to stutter, but the prowling look made her nervous.
And no matter how vexed she was in trying to understand this man, she would
always meet him halfway. That was the reason she nestled her head on the skin exposed
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by the low, sharp triangle neckline of his linen shirt and let her nose trace the lines of his
collarbone.
My brother envisioned a peace where we could coexist with the Pagans, he
started tentatively, for the first time, unsure and awkward as he brought his hand over the
curve of her belly. We went to negotiate with them, but what we received in return was
Itachi being stripped off his clothes, impaled by a blunt stake through his body and I was
taken, tortured until I escaped to your lands. Breathing deeply, his fingers fluttered
across the growing flesh in her torso. Sakura could not stop the edge of her eyes from
being filled with liquid compassion, yet she tried not to break this rare moment.
All I wanted was to kill them, and make them pay. He clenched his hands for
a second, trembling as he opened his fist and laid them on the base of her head, burying
them on her tresses. I could not understand why my brother had to die for that
meaningless peace.
But now, I do.
When she raised her head, she saw, with that almost curve of his mouth, that he
washappy.
The emotion seeped to her and she knew from then on, without a doubt, that as
long as she was his wife, Sakura would do anything for this man who never smiled.
I will create a world for our child. A world where my brother would have been
proud of.
Her lips gently brushed his, and as he shuddered, exhaled, he returned the
gesture with more vigor. Her receiving mouth tasted the intoxicating tang that only an
old, rich wine could provide, but the heady coppery aftertaste disturbed her before she
forgot it in the clusters of sensation.
x. Your beauty turns to ugliness
Sakura was dimly hidden beneath the warm shades of the aging pergolas. As the
soft sun rays dappled in between the gaps of the soft wooden planks, she rested a single
ring-encrusted hand over the willow bark of the vine-ensnared pillar and glared at the
stone tiers with renewed disdain.
It seemed reasonable for a couple of days, when Sakura thought that relaying to
her husband her current predicament would help loosen the noose over her seclusion
inside the brimstone walls. But she was sadly mistaken, as Sasuke became more adamant
to keep her inside. He would not even let her do her duties of keeping the manor in order!
So what was she supposed to do, fatten herself up like a turkey and waddle?
She could no longer stand this.
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"Milady"
The blonde stopped in mid-sentence as Ino recognized that green glare.
In a flurry of dark organza and forest-hued silk, the pink-haired aristocrat stalked
away from her place in impatience. Leaf blades crackled under the force of her boots and
she did not glance back at the young maid who was trying to catch up with her.
"Sakura. When alone, Ino called her by her nameoften said in such a
frustrated manner, because the maiden treated her like a confused and wayward little
sister. Blame it on the continuous repressed energy that she corked up inside her.
Whatever you have in mind, I am sure it is not going to work."
"We are going out."
Sakura gathered her skirts and took advantage of the cover that the pergolas
gave her.
The guards will notice if you
I am sure that you have some sparse clothes that you can lend me.
Still, we cannot run away from here!
There was a resolve in her eyes as she mischievously grinned.
I think we can manage to escape with a couple of horses.
***
The old piazza on the borders was filled with cemented roads and winding
staircases connected to different elevated houses. Soft drizzles melted the conical icicles
that adhered to the edges of the gutter roofs, covering the village in a wet slush. A swarm
of people from all walks of life: merchants trading with the late buyers, blacksmiths
letting their iron smelts hiss, farmers carefully inspecting the newly made yokes, women
selling their embroidered tapestries.
It felt amazing to be outside and for once, the stray sunlight that failed to touch
her pale skin warmed the remaining chill. Granted that this was the farthest she could get
away from that accursed place for a two-day ride, the lower province was brimming with
life that she found similar to her old lands.
Her handmaiden was generous enough to lend her this simple dress with a hood
attached to the rectangular collar on her nape to hide her pleated, conspicuous hair from
any attention.
Bless her, that considerate maidservant. Ino had been adamantly against the
mere idea and much more to accompanying her in this rare occasion today. It was a great
comfort that Ino still managed a smile or giggle when they were haggling prices from a
crooked-looking vendor. The white woolen lace would be perfect for the nursery as well
as the little baubles of toys, like a little wooden ball and a beautifully sculpted toy
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carriage that she purchased in a reasonable price.
They managed to enjoy themselves after all.
As she placed her hand against her face to estimate the hour, she finally realized
something.
No. Her breath hitched in anxiety. It is gone.
Gone?
An unmistakable panic choked up her throat. I lost it. The watery silvers
threatened to fill the brim of her eyes.
What is it?
I hope I just dropped it, but
The ring? Turquoise blue settled on the lacking ornament on Sakuras small,
pale hand. An unusual calm smoothed immediately on the handmaiden, her smile a tad
too gentle. It has an emblem, right?
Ino, its encrusted in a precious stone, she whispered in trepidation. Losing the
ring would only complicate matters since it could be used for a hefty ransom and could
buy even a whole mountain with only the press of the ring on melted beeswax.
Besides, she was slightly terrified of what his response would be. Though he
had never raised his hand on her, she could recognize the tell tale signs of his terrible
temper.
It might already been stolen.
Lets trace back our trail today.
Patting her head consolingly, she then took her hand.
But Ino
Here in Greater City, when you leave a bag of gold in the middle of the road,
no one will pick it up. Her footsteps were strangely loud in her ears despite the bustle of
people. Not even a petty thief or a hungry peasant will dare.
Really?
They say this country is paradise. A utopia where no sinners exist. There was
a bitter smile when she said this, light eyes narrowing in some unknown passage of
contemplation. I assure you, no one will touch that ring.
Why are you so sure?
His Majesty promised it to everyone, she curtly answered. He will make a
perfect world.
She followed the weathered streets until they finally reached the circular plaza
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after a few minutes. There were a few villagers strolling around the white well, stiffly
walking and eyes even cautiously looking at their surroundings. Now that Sakura was
beginning to see these little things, she pondered why the people were unreasonably
guarded, as if their every move was seen by ever-present eyes. There were men cloaked
darker than their coats but still
A dull glint captured her attention, distracting her from the strange words Ino
told her.
Mumbling excuses and a hasty sorry, she grasped the ring and slid it quickly. It
was wedged between the cracks in the pavement near the sweets shop that they looked at
earlier.
Ino, you were right! The pink-haired woman was overwhelmed with relief. I
found it.
When Sakura turned around, the blonde was already talking to a cloaked young
man. He was all starch white skin and ink black lines, and Ino conversed with him
furiously in the same language of muntenete, but it was said in an accent she could
hardly understand. Green irises observed Ino as she argued with the man who was
smiling chillingly. The man replied in that low dialect as well, distinctive from the parts
of the alpine regions.
That was when the young man approached her, peered a while in her cloak
before nodding his head.
I see.
Sai! Ino tapped his shoulder, adamant. No one should know!
They were suspicious of her for a while, he responded quietly, a smile still in
place. It was your presence and the insignia on her cloak that eased their tracking:
It was a good thing that this was your post. There was a dark, amused snicker.
Or else my head will be
You must take her back now, he said in a whisper, a warning in his tone. It is
three in the afternoon.
Of course. The sharp gasp and the panic that shook Ino distressed Sakura. But
when her hand coiled around hers in a secured hold, she glared pointedly. You will not
breathe a word of this?
Ill cover you.
What was that about? Why were they running away from the surge of the
slowly thickening mob? Inos hand was sweaty, her grip hard and cold. There was fear in
her that she tried but failed to hide as she kept on looking forward. Ino?
Suddenly, the villagers began to swarm in front of the spacious yard. They
congregated in front of the towns main water supply, the grand well that was being
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drawn with a sturdy wooden pail. And because of her curiosity, she pried carefully on the
muted exchange.
"a man was caught stealing bread. Fingers will be cut off, perhaps."
"And hell be surely flagged
Bloody tyrant
"Hold your tongue! Do you want it to be cut?
drinks it from his enemies, drains from their necks, warm and fresh!
When she arrived at the end of the western entrance of the village, the young
queen realized that she was already alone, as she was too engrossed with those
mystifying words.
She was lost.
Taking deep calming breaths, Sakura ruminated her situation. She was not
familiar with the landscape, but surely she knew her way to the stables where her
standard bred was kept. Should she stay stationary in her place and wait for Ino? Or
should she go to the stables and wait for her there?
Deciding that the latter was best, she started to find her path back when someone
pulled her.
We have been searching for you, Your majesty.
Karin?
Sure enough, the distinct ginger hair and tall form of her handmaiden was
remarkably eye-capturing. She was a daughter of the wealthy boyars, and so many were
fuming when she was denied of marriage and was instead demoted as a right-hand
woman of the foreign queen.
Yet even when Sasuke had warned her about this affluent lady, Karin had never
been malicious to her. She had been welcoming and gracious, going as far as presenting
herself as her midwife for the upcoming birth of her child.
Yes, but we must be quick. I have informed Ino to return back as well.
Okay, but we can use the horses
We are taking a short cut.
A shortcut?
It has a better scenery, milady. There was foreboding in her words as they
started to trek on the rocky paths that slid on behind the walled city. You will find it
interesting.
***
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They ran inside a forest.
Tall, lean timbers were made up of animated corpses, their flesh holes that gaped
at the base of their spines were filled with sickening pus. Festering maggots littered their
frothing mouths; continuously moaning their pain, trying to reach the dusk above with a
decaying hand. Their unseeing eyes were heaven-ward, as if begging for the visit of
merciful Death, to sweep them away in that relished repose.
A red sunset that profusely shone brightly on the horizon gave their figures soft
silhouettes. It was a beautifulgrotesque, but beautifullandscape of a hellish copse:
twisted arms like willow branches, bent fingers and toes as its leaves, scattered ears and
nails as their wilted remains, with the murder of ravens as their cawing piece of requiem,
perched and pecked on their mottling barks.
Sakura could not even breathe, transfixed and she could not bring herself to step
in further on the grove of the dead .
"Her highness" The magenta hems of her dress brushed the stained greens, the
blemishes darker than the brighter fabric. "should have stayed in the gardens."
Ka-Karin. She managed to unclog the strangling air out of her winded lungs.
He-Heavens, pitiful spirits, who did this?
You should not be so emboldened to defy your husband, she whispered as her
hand reached to touch her horrified faade. His sense of justice is extremely upheld here.
This is the price we have to pay.
But there are
There were whimpers, harsh breathings and blinking lids. Some of them were
still alive! She ripped her eyes away from the disturbing sight and shook her shoulders
lividly.
why didnt you tell me? Why? He didnt tell me!
This is the reprisal for his actions. The twin pale brown hardened. Will you
leave him now, Lady Uchiha? Will you bear his son, yes, it is a son. She smiled
wickedly, transforming her features akin to a scorned witch. Now you know that he is

A horrified gasp disturbed her angry tirade, before Karin scrambled to her knees
and curtsied, head almost reaching the tips of her knee. She dared not to meet even his
feet.
Against the bleeding backdrop of a fading afternoon, Sasuke stood behind them
in content. His bleak outline prominent in the sea of executioners in black hoods and
concealed eyes. They carried a slumped form of a young boy with his hands raggedly cut
off, dragging him on the ground by his armpits.
Then, he strode carefully to them, taking off his scaled glove and held it on its
edges.
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Sasuke?
Wife of Hozuki, he addressed.
He did not reveal any livid reaction; thus, emboldening Karin to raise her chin a
few notches to meet the sight of his hands.
Your Majesty
The hard smack of his leather glove struck her red cheek, prompting the edge of
her lips to bleed from the rapid impact.
You led her here.
Yes.
You know your punishment.
Her whimper was soft, almost choked, Yes.
Suigetsu. This is your responsibility.
Sakura remembered Lord Hozuki, one of the faithful knights under his
command. She saw him in her old home in the past (that felt like a good dream, right?).
She did not really know him, aside from Karins complaints and that one time when she
healed him in the cathedral halls, where he boisterously told her about his betrothed. She
could still remember the excited gush when they married before the calm snowfall.
Grabbing the arm of the retreating man, she angrily called to thisthis demon.
What are you doing? Why are you allowing this to happen? Sasuke, what are
you
He squarely met her eyes, pinned them to his, not allowing them to move away
from him.
Kill your wife. And after that, the thief.
Bloodcurdling shrieks, the sound of a thudding wood, the endless howl of curses
and Sakura could not look away from his eyes. She could not speak as her tears began
and corked her ability to even comprehend why.
And Sasuke offered his hand.
(i am just giving you an option.)
Shall we go, Sakura?
And Sakura closed her eyes and accepted it.
xi. Your blood falls like water!
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Sakura stood in the centre of her dressing chamber, something that was a
requirement for a woman of her stature. She once protested because of the inconvenience
of such a room, but as Karin had once told her, she was to have the best service as their
queen. Ino affirmed this and installed a full-length mirror, made of the best polished
silver, its coldness even radiating from a distance.
But now, those kind words of encouragement and comfort instilled doubt in the
place that she was starting to accept as her home. Were they sympathetic to her plight or
just dreaded her husband?
Almighty heavens, she could not even go inside their bedchambers, as she could
not close her eyes in horror of hearing the accusations and assaults of her conscience and
logic.
Could she forgive someone like him?
(evilincarnatehellisuponyouyouyouyou she can hear the shrieks of a once
respectable maiden, before the blunt piercing of the stake is)
Sakura, the unmistaken snarl on her unbound hair contrasted the pliant hold of
his hand over her neck.
The small whispers stopped.
Sasuke! Her heart nearly (splatters against?) jumped out of her ribs, backing
her against the gleaming metal. He attached a strong grip on her, baring any chances of
escape.
Do they despise me?
He stepped back, and so with his touch gone, so was the silence.
Despise him? The distorted and ugly screams asked in unison. It fed hungrily on
her growing fear. Can you?Can you? Can you?
Yes, they do. They fear me and yet they know they are protected. They cannot
despise me.
"Can they hate me? Yes," he spoke calmly. A feather-like touch, ghosting over
the edges of her trembling mandible, made his words inescapable. Blocking the hypnosis
that was rendering her incoherent, his hold tightened, impeding her quickening exhales.
But, a deep, quiet laughter made her self-preservation instincts go haywire, as
he repeated the tortured cries in a condemning voice, "can you, Sakura?"
He abandoned her for a heartbeat
(you are mad, mad, mad, mad they scream, they warn you, another yell from a
child you are insane to stay beside him)
Her knees nearly buckled, making her impossibly weak. But there were his arms
ensnaring her waist to prevent her from sliding beneath his grasp as he stood in one fluid
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motion, carrying her to him, pressing her to the nearest solid surface.
The breath of pinewood incense and melted snow drifted to her shoulder,
cooling down the dark branding of bruises on its curves. His erudite hands, luminescent
against the darkness, could not be seen through faint traces of her reflection. But she
could see the spindle-like fingers sink into her as she was dragged to him, writhing
uncontrollably and turned to face the mirror.
She lifted the heavy lids, meeting the reflection of the silver mirror before them.
And she did not see anything else but herself.
Her astonished gasp was almost out of her mouth when his lips, as if in silent
apology, reverently touched the pale column of her throat. The gentle caress emboldened
his brackish stare, flickering crimson under the play of the scarce candlelight. Yet no
matter how vindictive that glare was, his suffocating hold over her waist loosened.
Her cloak unravel at the bottom of her feet as she watched how his handswas
her mind playing tricks, or did she saw them blood-stained?tore the side-laces of her
stiff kirtle away.
And when he impaled her, drove her to wretched culmination, instead of the
burst of dappled colors, she saw the scattered corpses, pitiful faces but always, always
and inexorably, entangled and superimposed upon the grisly nightmare was him, him,
him.
As she rested on the blemished cream silk of her dress, she found it painfulas
he held her gently, brushing the tears on her stinging cheeksthat she could do nothing
but surrender to this gratifying demise.
xii. Have mercy on my son | No mercy for me
Old cathedral bells sang their hollowed rhythms, mirroring the beats of her
pounding chest.
She laboriously panted for air, despite how they had scorched her throat. Painful
as it was to move further, the woman nevertheless struggled to close the distance between
her and the ancient, looming structure.
Finally taking the last two stairs of the fifteen hundred steps in a harsh stride, she
grasped the brass bar, stinging cold on her touch. As if in response, the large mahogany
door creaked away from its twin, letting the welcoming glow break inside the dreary
place.
Wildly, her skirts whipped behind her heels as she ran towards the center of the
empty tabernacle room. Flaming wickers enlightened her fair complexion, revealing two
innocent faces. Perspiration lined her temples, as she continued to utter nothings, of
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driving the ubiquitous demons away from taking this little one from her.
The queen stood before the lifelike monument of a serene mother looking down
upon her benevolent son with a gaze of utter adoration. It made her wonder if this little
tableau was here to spite her and the quiet, unmoving child on her arms. Her shivering
form suddenly straightened in a steely resolve.
A concerned, coherent sentence drowned out their voices.
Please, milady. We cannot do anything! Sakura knew that voice. Sakura
recognized her, but the protests remained unheard. We need to go! There are people who
are still joining the upheaval, you need to escape, His majesty shall
Hollow words reverberated as she fervently cried out.
In nomine Patris,
Her trembling middle and index finger moved towards her damp forehead.
et Filii,
They then descended towards the top of her bosom cradling a thin scapular.
et Spiritu
The digits darted to the left of her, then quickly tracing the air towards the right
tips of her shoulder,
Sancti
The chorus of souls living six feet under her feet chanted.
Amen.
She knelt down the pew in abject silence. In torment, she could not feel the
hands that grasped her forearms, trying to snap her awake. They were frantic calls of her
name, not her title. They were all pleading her to stop, to abandon all attempts to rescue
him from the claws of death.
credo in unum deum, factrem cli et terr
The spectators were increasing, her audience of bloodshot eyes intensely looking
at her and her dear, silent son to take him away from their little family as the retribution
for his twisted sense of judgment.
visiblium mnium et invisiblium
Her fiercely mutterings of prayers were barely audible as she continued the
melodious chant. Devotion brought her here, on her unsteady limbs and clenched fingers,
prostrated humiliatingly to ask for a miracle.
deum de deo, lumen de lmine, deum verum de deo vero
Sakura! The shout dimmed the din of voices. Back at the strongholdthere,
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we can heal him. We will save your son, so pleaseplease.
Ino? Sakura could not breathe. She could not beIno?
Yes, milady?
My child is not dead. Not hearing the protests from the anxious servant, she
used her rare commandeering presence for her vassals to follow her, The river will cure
him.
But, Sakura!
Yamanaka, come with me.
Frenzied eyes were alight with inexplicable joy, an untouchable faith beyond
reason.
Sakura called it hope but Ino, along with everyone else, called it madness.
The noble lady purposefully walked out of the chamber, running towards the
tiled paths, towards the rocky terra firma where it ended in a jagged pointed precipice.
Outside, there was already the loud blast of war trumpets and howls of battle, yet she had
the fire of a determined mother.
"Sakura!"
And there, the prince of her tales came, with the razor metal on his hand and was
barely injured. But he was following her, ignoring the pinpricks of torch light that littered
the flat grounds, swiftly climbing up in the stairs.
"No! Don't!"
Butcher!
"Sakura!" he roared, rage evident as he pulled her arm to him. "You foolish
woman, I told you to
Slaughterer!
It all happened slowly, when all the screams turned into gibberish noise and they
escalated into a deafening clap. Sakura recognized the pale face behind him, lit with a
grim smile.
How could you defend such a devil?
And for that single moment, her sanity returned.
When Sakura gazed at him for the last time, she saw copious red marking path
of tears on his draining face. There was a sharp spear that almost conjoined them to their
chest, her open heart to his closed one.
His eyesgray and ashenseemed to weep red.
Sakura did not realize that he was looking at her, not at the limp newborn that
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she raised to his face. He was looking at the spear that was lodged in her chest. When
she smiled with tears, she whispered, Our sonlive.
***
Forgive me, Your highness.
They stood cornered on the precipice.
Crumpling into his arms, he did not feel the blade that pierced his back, or the
hundreds of gazes that were satisfied at their macabre image. With a last brush of the wet
clump of dark hair on the tiny head, he took the stained child from the slowly cooling
arms, and heaved it to the waiting blonde woman with her quaking hands.
(the voices are gone. they forgive you. he will live, and he will be like you. a
son, a son.sakura skips to the edge of the precipice. like a guiltless child, she points to
a familiar point where a cove holds witness to a certain pledge sasuke, i am happy
enough she calls him, her arms open wide to fly.)
He leaned his clammy temple on her bruised neck, on the shorn strands of pink
that dusted the sides of his cheek. All he possessed were the vestiges of a ruined home,
caused by a deranged mind. A suffering she bore because she loved a monster.
(sakura feels like there are wingslarge, wide and ephemeralon her back as
they hover over the flaming night sky. a kind breeze whistles on their ears. broken green
glass-eyes are open, her fingers caress his closed lids as they break the soft mirror, cold
and silver, in yielding shards. they sink to the watery depths, the tart taste of freshwaters
on her mouth. and she feels free at last.)
xiii. feel this dagger of pain | What long ago he foretold.
Ino hardly cared that in any second this scorned Uchiha realm would be gone
before the deep evening breaks. She did not give a damn that the land would be razed in
fire.
There might be men, women and children that fulfilled the vengeance in their
minds and held the power on their hands tonight; there would still be a future promising
more pain, tears and grief, but she was not bothered.
Ino could only hear the infant wailing, splitting her already breaking heart.
Landing in London
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4th July 2007
Dearest Sasuke-kun,
How are you? I hope youre doing well. It seems like its been so long since weve
talked. You left so suddenly, you see. You didnt really give me much of a warning nor a time
to say goodbye.
Im trying to find the right words but all I end up doing is sounding too formal and
whiny. I suppose, if youre here right now, youll say its typical of me.
You know, Im not quite sure whether Ill send this or not. Youll know if I do, of
course, but this letter just lacks any purpose. I think I just want to be closer to you,
even if its simply writing your name on a piece of paper.
I have to go to work now. Be safe.
All my love,
Sakura
***
29th August 2007
Sakura,
Im doing fine. Life in the trenches isnt as bad as it seems. I presume
your work is going well too.
Theres this annoying boy, Uzumaki Naruto, in my troop. Hes loud and
obnoxious and insists that Im his best friend even though Ive only known the
idiot for a fortnight. I think youll like him. Our commander is about our age and
is the laziest bastard youll ever meet. His name is Nara Shikamaru and hes
actually smarter than you, believe it or not. But the guy does nothing but sit on
his ass the whole day. I dont know how he made it to the ranks.
Ive got to go, were having a mission briefing in five minutes.
Uchiha Sasuke.
***
17th September 2007
Dearest Sasuke-kun,
Im so glad to hear that youre doing well. I hope theyre feeding you right over
there. After all, how are you supposed to protect our country when you havent even had a
proper meal?
Tenten came today and we went out for tea. She looked really bad, poor darling.
Apparently, her fianc, Hyuuga Neji, was injured badly last week and was sent home. The
doctors said that hed survive, but the damage done to his eyes was irreversible. They said
hed go completely blind in a few days.
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On the other hand, Ive decided to do my part for the war effort today. Im going
to use that nursing degree of mine to help in the hospitals; for the soldiers that have been
sent home. Besides, being a secretary is too boring for me anyway.
Even Inos doing her bit. Shes trying to recruit young men. I know what youre
thinking right now Sasuke-kun, and its not like that. Its just that her looks and charm make
her more persuasive than others; its a completely clean job. Shes also setting aside a
portion of the flowers in her familys shop for all of our men who wont come home alive.
You wont be one of them, right?
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Be safe.
All my love,
Sakura.
***
22th October 2007
Sakura,
Yes, Ive been eating. The food here is crap, though. We dont have
anything but canned food. We had a stash of ramen, but then Naruto ate the
whole goddamn carton by himself, the dumbass.
Hows work at the hospital? Its good that youre there; at least you
can do something rather than mope around uselessly.
I saw a man die in front of me today. He was badly injured, and Naruto
wanted to treat his wounds, but Commander Nara stopped him because he
was on the other side. He interrogated the man, but the guy wouldnt give us
any information. In the end, we gave up.
I was ordered to kill him.
And I did.
Sakura, I dont think I can ever look at anyone in the face again.
Uchiha Sasuke.
***
18th November 2007
Dearest Sasuke,
Ramen, huh? Were mass-producing that stuff over here, what with the famine and
everything. Im almost sick of that stuff; Ive never liked it much in the first place. But then,
whats a person suppose to do? Ill trudge along until the war is over. Once were free, I
think Im going to treat myself to a nice dress and a lavish meal. With beef. Mm. I havent had
that for a long time.
Today, the Head Doctor, Tsunade, called me after my shift and asked me if I would
like to become her apprentice. I said yes immediately of course; shes the best doctor in the
country! I wouldve been insane if I turned her down. So yes, when you come back, you wont
even need to go to the hospital. Ill treat all your wounds.
I dont quite know what to say about what happened to you, Sasuke-kun. But you
did what you had to do. Orders are orders, arent they? I dont think any less of you for
doing what your commander tells you to. After all, youre fighting for our country. Youre
just doing your job.
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I must admit though: Im scared for you. And I know you think thats annoying, but
the thing is, youre never scared of anything. So someone has to be scared for you, right? I
know youll pull through though.
Be safe and come home quickly. Ill be waiting for you.
All my love,
Sakura
***
3rd December 2007
Sakura,
Tomorrow might be my last day. I cant say any specifics, in case this
letter gets intercepted. If all goes as planned, Ill be back in Konoha by the New
Year; and if not, then Ill probably end up losing my life. In any case, this will be
my last letter.
Im not quite sure how I feel about this.
Thank you, Sakura. Your words have gotten me through the hard
times, even if theyre few and far in between. Theyre almost as good as
having the real thing with me.
I dont know what you are to me, or what I am to you. Hell, I dont
know whether these are even love letters or not, all I know is that theyre the
only reason I can keep going right now.
I think I love you.
I dont know how long this operation will be. Ideally, itll only take a few
days, but if things get messed up, it can take weeks, months, maybe even
more. But, Ill make up for this.
Ill make up for all of this, when I come backand I will. I promise.
Just wait for me a little longer. Just trust me and thatll get me
through this damnable hell.
Thatll bring me home.
Marry me, Sakura.
And I swear to whatever god is out there that Ill come home alive.
Uchiha Sasuke
***
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1st January 2008
Excuse me, miss?
Sakura looks up from her paperwork to find a blond-haired, blue-eyed man
(boy)her age standing outside her office.
Yes? Sakura answers tiredly, hours and hours of work taking its toll on her.
Come in, come in.
Are you Miss Haruno Sakura?
Yes I am, she answers, getting up to shake the young mans hand. And how
may I help you, sir?
My name is Uzumaki Naruto.
Something inside Sakura breaks at the sound of his name.
Naruto? she murmurs. Her eyes then shoot up to his face in alarm. I
Sasuke-kun. Wheres Sasuke-kun?
I requested to come here to tell you the news myself
S-Stop, Sakura mutters disbelievingly. Its not. Youyou just came here to
tell me hes injured, didnt you? Hes just injured and hes in one of the wards here,
right? Ill go see him now.
She makes a move to the door, but her path is blocked by Naruto, who looks at
her with too much sympathy, too much pity, for Sakuras liking.
Hes not there, Naruto says.
No! Sakura cries. No, Iplease. Please, she begs him. He isnt. Hehe
cant be.
Im sorry, miss, Naruto says, eyes crumbling at the sight of the young pink-
haired nurse slowly breaking.
Im going to see him now, Sakura says determinedly. Ill just go down to the
reception to see which room hes in and
Miss! Naruto says, grasping her shoulders with his hands. They are warm and
strong, and Sakura shudders at the thought of how many people he has killed with them.
Its no use, miss. Hes dead.
No, he isnt.
Im sorry, miss.
But, she whispers. But he promised.
Naruto closes his eyes, giving Sakura time to hastily wipe away a tear.
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The mission wouldve failed if it werent for him, Naruto explains. He
sacrificed himself for this war. Its because of him that weve won. Our country is free
now, miss. Were free. Because of him.
I dont believe it.
He always said that sometimes you have to sacrifice the few to save the
many
But why him? Sakura wails. Why him of all people? God couldve chosen
anyone but him. Out of all the people, why did Sasuke-kunmy Sasuke-kunhave to be
the one who died?
Maybe it was Gods purpose for him, Naruto says softly, too softly for a man
(boy) who was described to Sakura as loud and obnoxious. Sakura almost hates him for
his empathy.
I dont believe it, Sakura repeats. Why couldnt it be someone else? Please,
sir. Please say it was someone else. Not Sasuke-kun. Anyone but my Sasuke-kun.
Please.
Im afraid that I cant.
She purses her lips and lets the tears flow unabashed. After all, the man (boy)
opposite her is crying too.
I watched him die, Naruto says, his voice wavering. II tried to save him,
believe me, miss, I did. But I just couldnt get there on time, and there were so many
enemies around us. They were shooting at us and setting off bombs everywhere. We just
ran out of time. Im sorry, miss. I am.
Sakura chokes back a sob and shakes her head. Dont be, she says. Dont
be.
They stand in silence for some time before Sakura opens her mouth and asks
uncertainly, Is it selfish of me, sir, to wish that someone else died instead of him?
Naruto looks at her. He looks at her with those brilliant blue eyes that seem so
pure and innocent despite what they must have seen; and he smiles that smile, that smile
that says he understands everything. Sakura bets he doesnt, though. Of course it isnt.
I must be a truly horrible person, Sakura says, hiccupping.
You arent, miss.
Oh, but I am. Because Im standing here right now wishing with all my heart
that it was someone elses loved one that died. I wouldnt have minded that. Whole cities
could collapse. Hundreds of nameless, faceless people could perish, and I wouldnt care
as long as he was safe. That to me, sir, sounds selfish.
There is another awkward pause. Theyre going to set up a memorial for him.
For what hes done for us, Naruto says, changing the subject and wiping away his tears
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on his sleeve. He was a good man, miss.
I know he was.
He talked about you often, you know. Said that you were the only thing that
made him keep going. And that the thought of seeing you after all this craziness was the
only reason he managed to get up every day. I didnt believe him at that time. Hes such a
cold bastard, you see, miss. But when he talks about you, his eyesthey soften, kind of.
And its like hes not really with me. He said Id have to meet you to understand, and said
that hed introduce you to me when we got back. I can see what he was talking about
now.
Then, it hits her. Sasuke is dead. He is dead, and he is never coming back. The
fact sinks into her like a bullet, and once it does, it is suddenly all too much for Sakura.
She reaches behind her and grabs her desk for support, her other hand is clamped over
her mouth to stop the strangled cries from escaping.
Miss? Miss, are you okay? Youre shaking, Naruto says, concern evident in
his too-blue eyes.
Sakura takes a moment to regain her composure before replying, Im fine.
Really. I will be.
Naruto looks at her skeptically.
Really, Sakura assures him.
He loved you, you know, Naruto says. And he told me before he diedhe
told me to tell you thatthat hes sorry.
Just when she thinks shes broken, another part of her shatters.
I have to go now, miss. My superiors want me in their office in ten minutes. Ill
see you around sometime, hopefully. Im really sorry about Sasuke, miss.
Why? she whispers, her eyes never leaving Narutos guilt-stricken face.
Why what, miss? Naruto asks, confused.
Why is he sorry?
Naruto takes some time before saying hesitantly, He thinks hes failed you.
With that, the blond wipes off any remaining tears and makes his way out of the room.
Sakura collapses on her chair, sobbing.
Miss? She hears the word and looks up. Its Naruto, standing just outside her
door, looking exactly the same as he had when he had brought her the news.
Yes? she croaks back.
Dont be so sad, miss. Sasuke wouldnt have liked that, Naruto says, almost
apologetic. He only wanted you to be happy, you know. Good day, miss.
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***
The next day, Sakura takes Sasukes letters out of the box she has been keeping
them in and burns all of them, save his last one.
She smiles bitterly as she rereads it for the hundredth time. Widowed before
my wedding day, she murmurs, laughing at the irony of it all.
Sakura looks at the tin, where the letters burn, watching as the flames die down,
his words turning into ash. She leans in to get a closer look at the faintly glowing embers.
It smells oddly like freedom.
Make-up Smeared Eyes
Sakura.
She didnt like the sound of his voiceshe stopped liking it a while agobut
the way her name came out of his mouth sounded like he needed her. She knew she
wasnt a necessity, though; she was more of an accessory, a pretty ornament that was put
on display.
She knew the routine, and she prayed that somebody would save her from it,
because she didnt like the feeling of her bare back against her cold wooden door. She
didnt like having bruised lips in the morning. She didnt like to be called a whore. She
didnt like the feeling of not being able to walk with her head held high anymore.
(Because, truthfully, the sight of her feet on the ground just reminded her that
she couldnt even look at anyone in the eye anymore.)
Sakura kept her emotions locked in her heart and she made sure to throw out the
key, made sure she could never find it again, for fear that her feelings would interfere
with her relationshipsthis one in particular. She couldnt let her thoughts, wants, or
opinions get involved in this; because once they did, her whole life would change
drastically. She didnt really know how it would affect her, but her past experiences had
taught her to fear risks.
She felt her whole body go numb at the touch of his cold fingertips, as she tried
her hardest not to stiffen suddenly. Her hands felt nothing unfamiliar as they tangled
with threads of slippery black. She felt her nails scratch against his scalp, as he pressed
his lips against hers harder.
Sometimes, she wondered why she had ever wanted this. It was her dream, but
why was it so painful?
***
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Dear, hows everything going? We miss you a lot! We cant even remember
to lock the door without you reminding us. Call us when you have time. We know youre
really busy, but even just a quick hello will be nice. Love you, take care.
Sakura sat up as she listened to her mothers cheery tone on her voicemail,
envying how easy it was for her to deal with everything. The sheets were tangled around
her legs and Sasukes body, and she knew he was awake when she felt his arms wrap
around her waist and pulled her down again.
Who was that? he asked, his thin lips curving downwards as the beginning of
a scowl.
She shot him a venomous look, her green eyes flickering slightly from the
reflection of the small rays of sunlight peeking through the blinds. He watched her eyes
suddenly became dull after she blinked, as if something came and washed them clean of
emotion. She became like a mirror of himher face just as impassive as his while she
ran her pale fingers through her hair to get out the troublesome knots.
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My mother. I hope youre satisfied with that answer, she replied, her voice
strong but soft at the same time. He loosened his grip on her as she threw off the sheets
and swung her legs off the side of the bed, rummaging through her closet for a clean
uniform. She flung the white button up shirt, viridian tie, and green skirt onto the
carpeted floor, curling her toes when she heard the springs of the bed creek as Sasuke
shifted on the bed.
Im going to shower, she said, nearly spat, only holding back because he
would surely slap her for being too rude. She reached down right next to her dresser and
picked up her lime green shower basket, placing it below her elbow like a purse. Sakura
grabbed her champagne colored towel and slung it on her shoulder, stretching a little
farther away to grab her clothes. She picked a ball of socks and her previously discarded
undergarments up from the floor and slipped on some flip-flops, flats dangling from the
fingers of her left hand.
Sasuke only grunted in reply, and she somehow hated his lack of response. It
ticked her off slightly, but she was used to it already. She cared too much for him,
thought too much about himshe needed to get him out of her head, out of her life. She
still closed the door slowly and softly so he wouldnt wake up, still shared an umbrella
with him when it rained on their way back from classbut nothing felt real. It was like
an act the two put up so other people would be happy, so her friends could go, Sakura,
youre so lucky that Sasukes your boyfriend. Hes so dreamy!
The two had less of a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, or at least Sakura
believed so. It seemed like a friends-with-benefits kind of thing, and she didnt really
know how much longer she could take it. It didnt even seem like they were friends
they only took one class together, and they barely even talked to each other.
Sakura ran her hands through her hair and shampooed, noticing that a bit of her
pink hair-dye was wearing off at the roots of her hair. Once she could sneak off campus
again, she needed to go get some moreshe was getting a lot of compliments from
everyone on the outrageous color. Not a single word from Sasuke, though.
While wrapping the towel around her body, she snapped her shoes against the
tiled floor towards the mirror and the sink, beginning to brush her teeth. Sakura stared
into the mirror, her neatly plucked eyebrows slightly lifted and jade eyes widened
slightly. Looking at her face and comparing it to other girls faces, she thought she was
bland, boring. She wished she could be plainer, simpler, uglieranything that would
make that Uchiha stop thinking she was interesting. He obviously didnt pick girls by
their personality, since he barely even talked to her now.
There was nothing nice about her, nothing special. All her appealing or
surprising assets were basically fakewhen she was a freshman, she wore a B cup bra
when she was actually an AA, her hair was dyed bubblegum pink and her roots were dark
brown, she was below average in height and had to wear five-inch heels just to appear
average, and she never smiled charmingly like people said she did. Her personality
wasnt great, eithershe was overly violent, and beat people up if they got on her nerves,
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and she refused to allow anyone know what she feels. In Sakura's opinion, she was
probably the least desirable kind of girl out there. So what did Sasuke see in her?
Perhaps she was over-thinking thismaybe Sasuke didn't see anything. Maybe
that's what he likedor preferred, if he didnt have any kind of emotional attachment to
her. Perhaps, she was so unlikeable that Sasuke knew he would fail to form any kind of
bond with her.
Yes, that had to be it. It was definitely it. Because boyfriends that loved you
wouldnt just leave your room without saying goodbye.
***
They took economics class together. That was when they actually metthe first
time was through some friends at a party. They werent seated next to each other before
that, ever. Sakura knew who he was, because she remembered all the times Ino gushed
about how handsome and intelligent he was. She didnt really think Sasuke was all that,
reallyjust a boy with a pretty face and almost no personality. But she had to admit that
he was mysterious, and she loved the thrill of mystery. At that point, she had a kind of
affection and admiration for himhe kept to himself, mostly, and she couldnt deny that
he was good-looking and smart. Ino was right, but for whatever reason, she knew she
had to get away from him.
Sakura didnt know what was going to happen, but she knew she had to get
away. It felt like he was going to eat her, or he was going to destroy all the pieces she
used to build her life. He was going to bring change, and Sakura despised changeshe
feared it, almost like how a three-year-old was afraid of the dark or the monsters lurking
in the closet. Sasuke, in some ways, was the devil disguised as an aesthetically pleasing
human being.
She carefully picked out her seat, one thats far, far away from him, so shed
never have to ever talk to him or look at him because she knew shed find herself falling
in love. The teacher usually paired people up by their seating arrangementher partner
was usually the extremely shy girl, Hinata. It was perfecthed never have to even
glance at her, for there were no windows or bulletin boards nearby, and he would never
have to walk past her when class was over. He wouldnt have to contact her or touch her,
and there was no chance of Sakura ever bumping into him. All his other classes were
different, and he lived in the other side of campus.
But slowly, his mysterious charm started to lure her in, and soon enough, she
was probably obsessing over him as much as his fan club was, except that it was all in her
mind. She couldnt risk being exposed as a Sasuke-kun fan girl. It would be a terrible
name, and rumors would probably spread about how she screwed every guy to get him
jealous. After all, she had heard those things about Ino before.
Sakura was clean the entire freshman year. No sort of contact with Uchiha
Sasukenot even a glance. She was relieved, but she couldnt deny she that it had hurt.
It hurt her to know that she couldnt sneak a peek at him without feeling extremely
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guilty. It was painful to have to build her wall all over againshe didn't know how she
could have let it fall after all the effort she had done for four years, but her barrier was
gone. It was broken; and each time Sakura tried to pick up a piece, it would turn out that
the pieces were glass where she could see the tears in her eyes. During those days, she
figured it would be easier to just give up and let herself break.
He talked to her a week after she had learned to suppress her internal pain, only
a little into sophomore year. The teacher was extremely fed up with Naruto, the boy who
sat to her right. The blond was always attempting to charm Sakura and Hinata into being
his girlfriend, but he never was able to succeed with Sakura. Hinata was falling head
over heels in love with him even with such a reserved, shy disposition. It was obvious the
girl was always giggling every time Naruto would speak. However, she never exploded
with joyshe always resisted the urge, for she was never that expressive in the first
place.
As Naruto began to list cheesy pick-up lines that amused Hinata, Sakura was
busy fixing pencils in her hair buns. The teacher droned on and on, but suddenly the
blue-eyed boy laughed heartily.
He was ordered to switch seats with Uchiha Sasuke, and Sakura was both
thrilled and agitated. She could not decide which emotion she felt stronger, she only
recalled living in the moment as he sat down next to her and sighedout of happiness,
relief, or displeasure, Sakura did not know. Being next to him already made her giddy, so
she buried her face in her books and had her hair in her face the entire class.
She was proud when she didnt even spare him a glance on her way out of the
room.
***
Be my girlfriend.
It was not a question, only a command, and Sakura was completely unprepared
for the question, dropping her notebook into her tote bag in the process. Her green eyes
widened, but she was almost sure they were shining brighter that day. It was any girls
dream come true, and for a moment she felt like she was floating.
Why? she blurted, without thinking, because her mental defenses were down
the drain. She must not get close to this boy. Hadnt she engraved this in her own mind?
Hadnt she strategically picked her seat so that shed never see this boy? Hadnt she
congratulated herself every time she ignored him? Get away. She was getting ready to
leave, and she thanked her feet for moving. All she wanted to do was run, run like her
mind was telling her.
Then, he pulled her to him and kissed her. It wasnt a soft, fairytale kiss. It
wasnt passionate or loving, it wasnt emotional and heartfelt. It was a harsh, raw,
hungry, cold kiss that Sakura never expected. It wasnt even a kiss, just his lips grinding
against hers. She hated her body for going along with ither barriers were again
shattering into pieces. She had spent the past half-year or so preparing herself just to
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have it all go to waste. Her eyes drifted shut, and she could feel herself float into a
dream-like state. It was the moment when she despised herself more than she ever had
before, yet she couldnt stop.
She shouldve known that the moment didnt really mean anything to himhe
never even held her hand or bothered to embrace her, only pushed against her lips and
waited for her to do her job.
***
You have to leave him, Sakura, Ino pleaded, long fingernails digging into
Sakuras arm when she grabbed her. All Ino could see was the agony in Sakuras eyes
it was painful to see Sakura transforming into a nearly suicidal girl. No, there werent
scars on her wrists, but her clothes were stained with alcohol and her skirts constantly
smelled like marijuana.
Hes your dream guy, Sakura replied simply, not even attempting to
elaborate. She knew Sasuke didnt love herhe didnt even like herbut he wanted her
more than he wanted anybody else. For now, that was enough. It wasnt about the future
anymore. It was about the present, what people lived for now, not what was going to
happen ten years later. He taught her that.
Ugh, Im not going to date him.
Back off.
Stop being so defensive.
Sakura freed herself from Inos grasp and didnt bother to look back as she
began to run. It had been two weeks after he left her while she was showering, and he
didnt even look at her in class that day. Sakura finally reached the edge of the campus,
and she felt everything build up in her throat. The liquid dripped out of her mouth onto
the black gravel, flowing downhill into a drain. Sakura wiped her mouth with the back of
her hand and popped a mint.
She shuddered for a moment, and it wasnt from the cold. Shed been having
massive headaches recently, causing her to sleep at random times, and she needed at least
six cups of coffee to function properly in a day now. Yet she was still exhausted.
She grabbed her hair and weaved it through her fingers when she hurled again.
Her unoccupied hand flew to her stomach and rubbed it, dreading what this could mean.
She covered her head with her hood and followed the black road with yellow
lines towards town, letting the black of her mascara trickle down her cheeks and sink into
her skin.
***
She was beginning to get used to the darkness of the room and the humidity that
floated in through the open window. Her clothes stuck to her skin uncomfortably. The
only thing that could comfort Sakura was the fresh smell of rain. It made her feel clean.
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There was a faint knocking on the doorfor a moment Sakura didnt know if it
was just her imagination or reality. However, it became louder.
Sakura, please open the door. We all know you need to be less of a drama
queen.
Only Ino would say that, Sakura was sure of it. Pushing the covers away, she
shuffled past the clothes that were discarded all over the floor, kicking a button-down
shirt out of the way.
All Ino could see when she opened the door were Sakuras brilliant green eyes.
So green, green like grass. But they were red and watery, too. She had lipstick smeared
on her cheeks and black running down from the corners of her eyes to her pointed chin.
Her hair was flat and was starting to get darker. Some damp strands stuck to her
forehead, the one Ino used to make fun of all the time.
Sakura looked like a disaster.
Isorry. Are you...okay? She realized what a stupid question it was
Sakura was in pain, in so much pain. She only tried to put on a mask of serenity, even
when her heart was falling apart and she felt more lost than she ever had in her life.
The broken girl collapsed when Ino embraced her. The blonde was more caring
than anybody had been to Sakura in months.
Its him, isnt it? Ino whispered, unbearably pained to watch Sakura crumble
like this. Her dry, cracked lips didnt move one bit.
Please, please, please. Say something. Let me know that youre there. What
can I do? How can I help? Tell me youre okay.
There was a tense silence when Ino closed her eyes, waiting patiently for a
response. All she heard was shallow breathing. Then, a deep breath.
...Im okay.
Both of them knew she wasnt.
***
God didnt care much for her despair. He didnt even try to lend her a helping
hand when she stood in front of his door, Sasukes door, which was painted a plain off-
white with a golden knob; its as flawless in appearance as he was. That door, his entire
room, was good enough for a prince, she was sure.
The fluorescent light of the hallway flickered rapidly, almost as quickly as
Sakura blinked to hold back her tears. She bit her lip and wiped away her tears. Ino was
waiting for her; she was there for her.
No matter what you do Ill be here. Thats what Ino told her when Sakura had
no more secrets to spill. It seemed like the blue-eyed girl was the only one in the world
that could save her from being too lonely.
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She raised her trembling hand and pulled up her turtleneck to cover her mouth.
She wanted to hide and disappear at the moment. Her finger moved to touch a flake of
gray paint on the wall. She started tapping against the wall, reminding her of the
frustrating noise she used to make when she played piano, when her long nails would
clack against the ivory keys until they broke.
Abruptly, she stopped. Get this over with. When she was poised to knock, he
opened the door.
What? he hissed, eyes frighteningly cold. Stop making that noise.
I already stopped. She was already tearing, the salty liquid nearly falling out
of her eyes. She blinked several times more, until her lashes had droplets of water on
them. Her nails dug into the palms of her hands. Sakura directed her eyes towards the
floor, unsure of what to say next. She examined the mud that sank into her white laces
earlier.
He sighed, loudly, and she could imagine him running his hand through his
hair. He always did that. Just say whatever you need to say, he finally said, breaking
the minutes of silence. He was becoming impatient. He hated it when people wasted his
time.
She paused and licked her lips. She looked up, but was terrified to meet his
eyes. She pretended to be fascinated at the flake of gray paint and how the light fell on it
ever so often.
Im pregnant. She exhaled shakily, pulling her hands into her sleeves and
hunching her shoulders over. She said it, and it just made her want to hide more.
Dont give me that crap. Sasuke reacted immediately, his obsidian eyes fixed
on her small figure, glaring. This wont make me care.
What should I do? she whispered, the words slipping out of her mouth
unintentionally. I...I dont know what to do.
I dont care, he answered, ready to close the door on her.
But I love you, Sakura cried. It sounded like such a stupid confession. Her
voice was hoarse from screaming into pillows, her tone was pathetically desperate. She
wasnt even sure if she loved him. How could she?
He shifted his weight to his left foot. The flickering light illuminated the right
side of his face, but she couldnt read his expression. He was always like that,
mysterious. He didnt say a thing, only kept an unreadable expression on his face.
Sorrynever mind. I dont know what Im saying, she decided to say, hoping
that she could take back her words. I dont need your help.
Just leave, he commanded, closing his eyes and furrowing his brows in
frustration. His hand moved to the door, ready to close it. I dont care about that thing.
Keep it or kill it, it doesnt matter.
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I dont need you.
When Sakura heard the slamming of the door, she realized that was the biggest
lie she had ever told.
Mauer
1987
For the first time in the long months of continuous interrogation, he feels the
sunlight.
The gentle rayprobably eight in the morning, he guesses from the mild heat
brushes across his pale brow. He refuses to blink from the sudden brightness and stares
unflinchingly at the smiling, bespectacled man in front of him.
Hohenschoenhausen, they aptly call this place. He remembers from the hushed
whispers that ghost every part of Leipzig, the house of horrors. But there is nothing
horrifying in this quaint little picture: cream-yellow plush carpets, a mahogany coffee
table in the center, the dainty chairs and chintz-covers. In fact, the only thing that stands
out is his steel stool and the cuffs behind his back.
It seems surreal that such a room exists in this bleak, hellish dungeon.
(and yes, dungeon. that assessment is not far from the truth.)
The weather is quite wonderful outside.
He knows that those congenial tones and that considerate drawing of the
chartreuse tapestry are being used against him, a weapon to break down his mind.
How long have you beenah, down there? The smile on his captors face is
accommodating, but it is far from pleasant.
Ten months.
This officer, they know him as the one with that astonishing silver hair, the one
who enjoys a cup of tea while watching men being prodded with electrodes and drowned
in water, is now grinning.
Impressive.
But they know that since there are prying eyes from the other side, the
supposed-to-be righteous humane world, they have to keep the injuries at a minimum.
(less physical scars, less irrevocable evidence.)
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There is one thing that this brilliant doctor also excels at, one that is more
damaging than lashes and electricity.
Most men would have forgotten the span of time. Being surrounded by
windowless walls, deprived of sleep, isolated from any human contact he trails off,
curious brown eyes roving on his naked torso, his grey orbs, the unmarred skin. But I
shouldve known, right? You were his brother after all.
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Spectacles glint, sharply attentive to the telltale signs of aggression or
nervousness.
But Sasuke is different. He does not even flinch at the mention of his brother.
I know Itachi, of course. His skills were valuable in our field. Now the pale
officer carefully walks slowly towards the comfortable seat, a silver pen twirling quickly
as he clicks it open. Many fools still try their best to beat his excellent standards. But
unlike him Then, he scribbles the time fast on the piece of paper, logging in the start
of this damned routine. I know where the winning side is.
Kabuto finally raises his head, folds his glasses, and widens his smile. Sasuke
knows that he will see it plastered on that bastards face the whole day.
Now shall we get to business?
Sasuke hears the click of the recorder, but both of them know what sound it will
reflect at the end of eighteen hours: his sweet music of silence.
1982
Who is she?
Karin is a pretty red-head and the only female in their small team. She is usually
dressed in her best wardrobe and sparkling skirts, but tonight, she wears her patched-up
leather jacket and a faded gray dress. Her lipstick-smeared lips and mascara-stained eyes
tell him that she is going for another recon. But she is languidly leaning on his doorframe,
an unlit cigarette on her fingers, staring at it intently as she avoids his intense glare.
At first, he thinks if Karin knows them.
(he shudders, and the first thought that flashes in his mind is they will die, they
will die. he is weak, he is careless, he cannot even protect them.)
Eighteen, a skilled sweet talker and enticingly voluptuous, Sasuke knows that
she excels in information gathering, almost as good as that deceased blonde girl (was it
yamanaka?) that the camp had executed last month. He knows that she is very talented in
her line of work, as she can wean out anything valuable from men with the mere flutter of
her lashes and the swing of her hips. Her face is a perfect mask, and her neck is powdered
evenly to hide the map of bruises.
This girl-woman seems to harbor a misplaced adoration for him, and Sasuke
decides that Karin is not prying because she wants to use the knowledge against him;
maybe, she is merely curious since he never speaks of anything related to his life. And
maybe she expects him to open up as they have been together in this cell for almost three
years.
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Karin likes himevery woman he meets seems to predictably fall for him
even, he dares to assume, that she cares for him too. He does not understand why she
joins his disastrous path, joins him in the search to kill that bastard who murdered his
only kin, but one thing is clear: they are merely accomplices. He trusts her on the validity
of her wiretapped conversations from assorted departments, he even trusts her with his
life.
But he will never entrust her life
(you dead last, I will kill you if you ever let her come close to the damned wall.
and for once, he appreciates that even though there is no brain beneath his yellow head,
the moron grimly nods and he is assured with that blue-fire promise within his friend-
comrades stare. they will not lose her soft laugh, her mirror-green eyes, her entirety.
her. her.)
to anyone else.
In this world, where spouses spy on each other and children are trained to betray
their parents by the government, intense paranoia is common in everyone. But Sasuke
specializes in one craft, something that his cursed blood is innate in: the art of treason.
That is why he lies.
No one important.
Karin frowns, a worried retort on her lips, but he interrupts her just the same,
Theres a briefing tomorrow. Go back to your station.
Her high heels shift, a silent language to approach carefully or to avoid him. He
expects her offers of a night to forget forget, dont all men want it? I can help you forget
but all Sasuke hears is a different voice, softer, passionate, and soothing, answering him
with a calm if i can only break down those walls.
He always rejects these considerate proposals, as he can never let his guard
down.
Fortunately, Karin lets out an awkward goodnight, dark skirt swishing in hurry.
(suigetsu had stormed inside his place this afternoon, ranting at how karin
always wanders around the accursed bulle. the young man just saw her riding up on
those lime green volga mobiles rounding up the deserted streets.
sasuke easily deciphers those angry protests.
someday, those two will realize whats behind all their spats and bickering. will
become lovers, perhaps. even have their happily ever after. a future. and being the miser
that he is, he does not say anything. he lets them figure it out, even slightly resents that
they have a chance.)
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Later that night, Sasuke finds the battered frog-leather wallet, lights the single
candle on a bent holder to illuminate his miserable room, and then finally, his careful
fingers pick a folded white paper.
He slowly opens it, unfolding it four times. It reveals a clumsily taken image,
with a blurred background of an old university and a dark cast of clouds in its unmoving
sky. It is evident that it is a picture taken in haste and secrecy, as it appears to slant
unevenly.
(that idiot. he snorts. a year ago. the stupid fool punches him and throws the old
photograph to his bleeding face with a growl, and says that he forgot to pick it up at his
house when he left. the dead-last just ran after him to deliver the said image.)
There is a girl of fourteen on the beat-up picture, nearly torn in its sides. She is
short, wearing a patterned red sweater and is running across the empty courtyard. Her
hair flares wildly, arcing on the air like wings on her back as she glances back to the
camera with a laugh. Seven lines mark the image, a crisscross of creases that measures
the span of her arms, the length of her stride.
She drags a boy of thirteen, with dark bed-head hair and is tall enough to
outmatch the girls pace. He is wearing the customary black uniform for sophomores.
There must have been a thin, disgruntled frown as he seems to look heaven ward, praying
for patience.
Sasuke knows what is really happening behind the annoyed faade: that the boy
is waging a losing battle to stop the smile on his youthful face, but he manages a
compromise by allowing a small smirk and he tightens his grasp as she continues to drag
him towards the nearby sweet shop.
(exactly a week after the image was taken, he takes the most important thing
from her when he leaves: the seven last words that she sobs, ichich liebe dich von
ganzem herzen, out cold in the night.
he steals her heart.)
He reverently hovers the picture over the fire, looks at it for a long time;
commits the colors and the warmth of her hold to memory. For the first time, he lets the
bitterness seep in.
(sasuke understands what needs to be done.)
Its edges sublime first to clusters of white wisps; the smell of burnt cherries fills
the room. The flames finally reach the edges of her open-mouthed smile, deforming it
into a painful frown.
Dont look at me like that, his usual laidback tone is gone. Sasuke hisses them
like a child (she always makes him feel like a brat), masking his terrible guilt with an
angry bluster.
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(his fingers almost reach to pull it back, the only thing he has of her. but he can
never face the wretched possibilities of them knowing. If anyone discovers his association
with her)
Sasuke is familiar with the stirrings of hate and anger. That is why he recognizes
these thoughts flitting in his mind: he is angry with Karin, for breaching things that
should never be mentioned. He is livid at Sakura for being so damn weak. But he loathes
himself the most, because he cares enough to protect her.
He waits till the picture becomes crumpled ashes and fruit-scented smoke; the
warm remains crumble upon the slightest touch. To watch it burn is the least he can do;
this is the punishment he deserves.
Sasuke owes Sakura that much.
The wicker flickers as he turns his back and walks away.
Sasuke does not want her eyes to haunt him again tonight.
1984
Scheie.
Shit is the right description of what is happening right now. The curse is an
unheard sound in this dissonant bustle as men in dark green coats are almost gaining on
them. Hot bullets are grazing their feet, but the wet concrete on the other side is open and
will grant them out of this hell.
Sasuke is only left with three meters before he reaches his escape.
(waiting, waiting, waiting, he hopes she will be waiting.)
A sharp, acute pain radiates to his knees and he stumbles.
Suigetsu and Karin are about to turn as they see him fall far from the gaping
wide exit, but they are pulled inside as the others shove them with the hundreds who are
stumbling in fear and exhilaration. The wild warnings from the Grepos are becoming
louder and louder, the rifles are burning their magazines judging from the succession of
shots being fired.
And then, he sees that Naruto is in front him.
(he hears the rumors, under the tunnels and whispering alleys, that there is a
blond boy of nineteen octobers who is too loud for incognito, too eager to brawl. he
comes from a paradise where you can see the sunsets, and laugh freely without the fear
of having the people you love stab your unprotected back. he paves the way for the lost
souls of the east to return back to the west.
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when he asks the name of who made the escape route, he is surprised to hear the
handler say, a damned blue-eyed fox. )
Uzumaki Naruto is his bestfriendmore of a younger brother, if Itachi will be
more compliant to his insane one-sided, nocturnal conversations. He is one of those idiots
who actually had the gall to cross the wall two years ago to chase after him.
He never seeks the dead-last to confront him why on earth he risked his life to
enter a hellions heaven, but when he sees him standing over him, he finally understands.
Say sorry to my pretty cousin for me, will you? He chortles, and spasms in
silent laughter. Tell her I tried to bring your stubborn ass bac
Naruto chokes on his own blood.
Sasuke watches him fall down, taking the bullets with a happy grin.
The only thing he wants to do to that idiotic Uzumaki at that moment, in the
midst of the terrifying screams and the echoing gunfire, is to crack that fucking
numbskull for doing such a stupid, stupid thing.
(heroes only look cool when theyre alive, sakura mutters in one of their history
study groups, so dont do somethingso impulsive naruto, like that graffiti you did on
the school walls? i dont want to hear that youre leading some rebel group for a freaking
revolution someday.)
When his body falls on his dirt-stained arm (that dipshit eats too much bread
and noodles, and no, he refuses to cry out in anger and desperation and grief and why
did someone die again again), he struggles to stand and heave him on his shoulders.
He has to get away and make this idiot live and shout that he should tell that to
Sakura yourself, moron.
But then, he feels the hard butt of a shot gun flying at the back of his head, the
second blow on his gut, the shout of the blond one, he broke down the wall. one more
shot to his head
A ringing gunshot is the last thing Sasuke hears before he falls unconscious.
1990
Official Reports of Rounde Ecke:
It is said that no harm was done to the newly released prisoner no. 1293129 on
November 23, 1988
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- 5 8. Physically healthy, dark-hair, and possibly from a blue-blooded
Japanese ancestry
- Implemented proper measures to ensure that the suspect will talk in an
interrogation under duress, intensive.
- Detained during his first ten months under the U-boat
In the bottom of the paper is the crisply written printed name (OROCHIMARU)
under the curly, neat signature.
After signing the contract and admitting his participation in threatening the stability
of peace. Uchiha Sasuke provides information on how to fortify the walls in exchange of
providing him residence back to his estate. Though, he is still under massive
surveillance
1979
No.
There is a quick tempo of music playing on the old stereoL'inverno allegro,
his mind supplies immediately, Vivaldi. It fills their sitting room, the rapid transcending
of strings always sounding new to his ears. In his childhood place, back there in the East,
listening to any music at all is a forbidden luxury. They claim that it is useless and
soporific. But the rush of notes coincide with the flow of the blood in his head, hardly
soothing his seething state.
You dont understand, Sasuke almost spits the words. My brother is dead.
I will not allow you to go back.
He is the only family I have.
Hatake is a slacker, a leech and an undeniable genius.
He always hides his face in a mask, a combination of knitted dark blue stripped
scarves, and always spends his days reclining on his favorite cushioned chair with an old
erotica classic on his hands and a cold beer on his unvarnished coffee table.
Everyone knows that he may appear unimportant, loitering around public
premises like the frequent homeless beggars in the streets during weekends, but it is an
entirely different matter when he resumes his place over a desk filled with stolen
blueprints and classified pictures.
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As a bastard son of the Uchiha scions, Kakashi has been oddly affectionate to
Sasuke, the purest blood of Hatakes detractors. He never knows the reason for this, but
he will never question it.
(he is many things to sasuke: his mentor. his brother. his father.)
I dont like to repeat myself. There is a warning in his tone, that he will do
anything to keep him enclosed.
And because they are so alike in many ways, Sasuke does not reply; he will not
repeat his answer to his command.
(i will find his murderer.)
As the sole violin reaches the hair-raising crescendo, Sasuke feels the thick,
suffocating fury that he is supposed to feel towards Kakashi. But a second later, there is
only nonchalance, and a tired sigh.
Mismatched eyesa lone slate orb and an unseeing red sclerapins him to rear
in his temper. It wont bring him back even if you return. There is nothing you can do.
Nothing? The growl is almost animalistic in anger. I can go to the other side
and rip the fucking throat
Kakashi is cool and indifferent as Sasuke lashes out, but whatever harsh words
to come are left unknown when a familiar chime cuts through the dangerous tension.
Yes? Kakashi presses a button, a quiet gaze on the fuming young lad.
Professor? Oh, good evening! says a meek voice, one that both are more than
acquainted with. Is Sasuke there? Ive got some of his schoolwork. I heard that he
wassick today.
Ah. Kakashi never fails to notice everything, so when Sasuke falters with his
vindictive stare, he almost twitches in amusement. Sakura. Yes. Wait a minute, alright?
I was just going to leave. Ill just place it on the mail and
Why dont you come in?
There is a sharp inhale.
He needs to rest. Ill just
Sasuke is going downstairs.
But
The small click is very loud to a silent room, signifying that their conversation is
over.
Get the door.
He then tilts his head, the one eye creases to form a smile, argument forgotten.
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And its getting late. Walk her home.
Sasuke walks with resignation, knowing that to ask for his cooperation on how
to breach the borders is definitely not a possibility.
He opens the smoke-painted door, schooling his features to detachment.
***
Their walk to her home is uneventful, passing through the well-cleaned
suburban hedges and the quaint little homes. It is quite a walk to Sakuras moderate two-
storey house from his apartment complex, but the streets are pleasant enough for a
leisurely stroll.
As the minutes progress slowly, this Sakurawho avoids his gaze, haunches her
shoulders and unsmilingis different. She always talks of the little things if they do not
see each other for days, of how Mr. Iruka punts Naruto to the next life, of how the old
janitor gives her pretzels for helping him with the early morning clean-ups. She will talk
just to fill his painful silences, just to ease him up, and will settle to a tranquil pace when
they pass a certain point on this well-worn road.
They stand in between the fenced graves, where the queue of crosses soak on the
last light of the day and the obstinate stone barrier stretches to hide the other side. Behind
her, the sun is settling to rest on its mandarin, cloud-clustered bed and Sasuke is sick of
seeing it.
He wants to watch the sun rise on the east now.
Im sorry. Heartfelt sorrow seeps in her apology. I didnt mean to hear all of
that.
He stops and turns around to look at her dejected form, biting her lips in an
effort not to submit to the nervousness she usually feels when they are alone.
(it makes him unreasonably pleased that only he can make this incredibly rare,
strong woman uneasy. that he is the only one who sees the trembling of her hands when
she flips over the pages before examinations, her unsure questions when she asks him
about an equation.
the one who sees her insecurities behind her confidence.
and because she lets him see her, he lets her know that he used to cry when he
was afraid of the dark. he tells her that he hates sweet things and prefers to be at home
during weekends. he triesgod, how hard he triesto let her understand him.
that is why he allows her to hold his hand now.)
If only, her voice is strong and willful, but it nearly cracks as she quickly
avoids his sharply turned gaze. If only I can break down those walls.
But you cant, Sasuke replies with a curt bite.
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But if I can break them, maybemaybe youll
Her next words are almost a hurried mumble, something that makes the rosy hue
on her cheeks travel to the tips of her ears that are peeking out of her soft (its almost
glowing, as the lantern just illuminates her perfectly) strands. Her deep green eyes (he
can almost see the lightening of greens in her irises, a golden halo on her dilating pupils)
are staring at the white-washed crosses, avoiding his intense look. Her hands
(surprisingly filled with silver linings, thin marks and scars of burns and cuts,
nevertheless it still appears smooth) clench and unclench on the hem of her pencil skirt in
anxiety as she pouts and mutters a forget it.
The proximity is almost stifling, but when she moves to lay her lips upon his,
their distance seems too far and he wants to close it.
But he does not budge. He does not even breathe.
This is not right. That is the reason why he does not give in. Why he lays
unmoving, unaffected, ignoring the unfurling heat that curls over his chest prompted by
her light, fluttering touches. (you will hurt her, bastard. hurt her hurt her. you will leave
her one day.) Her exhale is immediate, the familiar cloying scent wafting to him,
welcoming warmth caressing the shell of his ear.
Sakura withdraws backnot only her hands, her arms and her lips. Her face is
now hidden under the layers of her hair that it reminds him of that small little girl crying
on the corner of the sandbox. Her whole body trembles as she steps back from him, with
shuddering small gasps, as if trying hard not to dissolve into tears and cower in
embarrassment.
I shouldnt haveIll go. Forget this. I-I wont
(you will leave her tonight.)
He does not hear the cautious warning of his conscience.
Sasuke will always be selfish. So he will take and never give back.
When he captures the pair of pale, pale crimson lips, he captures a memorable
taste of her favorite soda that she offers every lunch and lazy enjoyable afternoonsthe
tangy sweetness of apples and bitter frost of the sparkling water; the apfelsaftschorle is
lukewarm-cold on his tongue, and surprisingly reminds him of cold autumn days.
And in that early evening, where the pinpoints of light peaks out over the
towering asphalt and basalt, she promises him everything.
Ich, she whispers in between ragged breaths, bleibe hier.
This wakes him up. Like a child caught red-handed, he pulls away his entangled
hand on her short coral locks. He retreats, and swerves to turn away to the other direction,
to pass by the shadow of the white graves.
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(years later, on some rotting, dank, dark cell, this becomes an agonizing
memory for sasuke. because this is where he lets her destroy his walls, and shows him,
without any effort at all, how weak he truly is.)
Sakura knows him more than anyone can ever understandbecause he lets her
tug on the hem of his blue wife-beater jacket behind, and he allows her to grip it tight.
He wants her to stop him.
(dont let go.)
Because both of them know that even if he only possesses the clothes behind his
back, he will leave with any given opportunity.
I
She sobs, knowing what will come next.
I love you with all my heart.
And he says the only appropriate response.
Please, Sasuke. Please. Dont go. I mean, you might die and
He will not give her hope. He will not give her the truth.
Stop being annoying.
The most merciful thing he can do is to crush her heart.
But Sasuke, please. You cant just leave! Everyone will
I dont care.
(contrary to popularthe dumb idiot, especiallybelief, the lie is quite easy to
say. the only thing that stops him from taking the words back is the notion that his words
can give her something more precious than his sanity: her peace of mind. to know that
she can sleep everyday without the thought of being murdered in her bed. the thought of
her killing herself in worry for him.)
If you go, then I can come with you! Please, its dangerous out there!
Both of her hands now hold onto his left cuff, onto the back of his shirt.
Please, let me go with you. I can help you and
Sakura.
For one last time, he turns to her slowly. He does not let her see his face as he
tenderly unclasps the tight vise-like hold on him. He does not let his fingers stay a second
longer on her fragile wrist, on her lithe arms as he steps back till he can no longer feel her
radiating heat.
Thank you.
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And he lets her see how broken he is: an uncaring man who only smirks at her
tear-stained face.
Her loafers grind and crackle against the small pebbles as she steps back from
him with a wide, wet-brimming stare. Her mouth, which he desperately tries to forget the
lingering aftertaste of, gives another shuddering exhale. Her knees fail to support her and
she falls before him, crumpling, silent tears raining before his feet.
(she takes his gratitude as an acceptance, as a rejection. his rational mind says
that you did it for her but he will never ever forgive himself for years.)
He walks away. He does not turn back.
He does not want to see her anymore.
(as broken as him.)
The next day, Uchiha Sasukes desk is empty.
A day later, Sakura confesses through a broken phone call to a fuming platinum-
haired aunt that he is now walking underneath an endless red-sky, painted by the rising
sun.
1989
wir bleibe hier!
The furious crowd chants them in bursts of a thunderous booming cadence under
a cool November sky. It starts with a distant scream from an overzealous young man that
reminds him too much of home. (he almost sees a can of orange spray paint and a golden
mop of hair when the voice screams again and again at the top of the heavily-defaced
wall: we are staying here!
he hears a different voice though, when he hears that lone cry. it echoes softly in
the hollows of his notions, but it is not less passionate.
ich bleibe hier.
there is resolve when he repeats it again in his mind:
i am staying here.)
The fault line in the middle of the indomitable barrier lengthens, cracking
resonantly to create an orchestra of chipping rock and eager cheers. This odd symphony
is becoming a highly-anticipated swan song of this tiring tale, and Sasuke wants to hear
the last blessed note.
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And at that swelling moment where the music plays in a speechless second,
when the concrete curtain cracks, crumbles and becomes a gaping, uneven window, a
mosaic of surprised gazes that rove at their equally astounded expressions
He sees her.
There is a vivid pink beacon among the throng of bright yellow heads and of
dark hazel crowns. He notices her haunted eyesalmost a reflection of hispeering
carefully behind a towering back and she pants another cold mist when she tries to tiptoe
to look beyond the obstructions.
And because it is an apparition created by his ill mind, he can almost trace with
his unfailing vision of those are tears on the precipice of her clear eyes. Her blunt,
unpainted nails flit across them, wiping them impatiently and outstretch them over the
scarred wall.
She smiles.
The following roar rings deafly on his ears, like the standing ovation of a well-
played performance. A wave of sleeved limbs rises up, surging like a tide, blocking his
view. Warm bodies smother him coldlylike the confining cold bars, the monstrous
fortresses he had to fight every single struggling day.
He is unable to catch a glimpse of her again, as that mesmerizing vision is
swallowed by the massive flood of liberated souls.
Sasuke refuses to follow the strong current of bodies and waits with his knuckles
clenched, feet rooted on his spot again. His dark eyes (frantically) search the ocean of
strangers, transfixed to where she has stood before. But there is no sign of her, it is
impossible not to notice even if she is small. (shell never grow up, the mere idea of her
makes him want to gut himself because obviously shes not here)
The young man tensely swallows, his throat painfully bobbing as he holds back
the urge to call her name, as fear begins to dilute on his veins, settle on his heart, and
circulate throughout the every pore of his being. He has never felt this way beforelost
and unsure, trying not to panic.
She is not here.
She will not be here.
Sakura has already moved on.
It is plausible. It is even the most logical explanation why his damned mind is
playing tricks on him. He almost wants to laugh at how she finally listens to him. Listens
to a fool that believes that he has the right to hope, that she will be waiting for him when
he gives up everythinggives her up.
He takes in the scene before him: a father ruffling a red-nosed son, a mother
alternately kissing the cheeks of her daughter, estranged lovers who are whispering
tearful nothings to each otherthe list can go on and on of what is happening.
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And Sasuke is already free to achieve this same kind of happiness: a sort-of-
beginning where tomorrow he can see sunsets, eat tomatoes, and be normal. But all he
wants right now is to return to that damning confinement, as he craves for that steady
innocent hope that has kept him alive (someone is waiting for me), than to experience
this desolate abandonment.
He will never know if it is raining because he feels warm drops on his face even
if the sky is clear, all alone with the ecstatic, fortunate pilgrims who are finally united
once more.
(clear autumn skies, they are very rare, sakura giggles. good omens. itll be a
nice day)
The shadow of familiar crosses stretches on his gaunt, ashen face.
Sasuke.
His name feels warm on his nape.
His thoughts (her words) are now mercifully silent as the sun finally sets.
Sorry
White is the color of a clean slate.
Hour 1
Everything around him was white. But it wasnt the kind of whiteness that was
bright, shining, and almost blinding, not at all. But it wasnt subdued either. It was
somewhere in between.
There wasnt a plant or animal in sight, nor were there sounds to indicate their
own presence. The landscape, if it could even be called that, was bleak, barren,
desolate empty. But the void, encompassing as it was, wasnt unpleasant at all.
No, it wasnt unpleasant but it wasnt particularly pleasant either.
The climate, like all the other aspects of the place, was regulated to the point
that it was nonexistentit wasnt hot, nor was it humid, and it surely wasnt cold either.
There wasnt even any wind, and he wasnt sure if there was air and if he was still
breathing it.
There were no colors, just the lack of iteverything was white.
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There was nothing to see, nothing to hear, nothing to feelthe lack of
everything. Nothingness. Nihil. Nil.
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In fact, if there was one word that could describe the whole place, it would be
empty.
Empty, if it wasnt for the long, straight line of souls which spanned to as far as
he could see on both ends.
It was annoying, really. If he had any choice, he wouldnt have dared a queue as
monstrous such as this. But as it was, there really wasnt much he could do but join the
long column of waiting people; it wasnt like there was anywhere else to go, anyway.
Nowhere else to go but forward.
Theres up and down, of course, but he didnt want to think about that.
Not yet, anyway.
Besides, he had come to understand that if he was to go in any of those other
directions, he had to wait patiently for his turn first.
Again, not that he was in a hurry
He was drawn from his musings when, as if on cue, the line moved. Having no
choice in the matter whatsoever, he too moved along with it. Just as he was taking a step
forward though, he felt something snag on the sole of his shoe. If he didnt stop himself
from stepping forward just in time, he probably wouldve stumbled. As it was, he felt
something soft collide into his back.
Sorry
The voice, undoubtedly feminine, seemed slightly familiar. And if he wasnt in
such an awful mood, he mightve even looked. But a line this long could make anyone
surly, and he sure wasnt the most patient of people. Not that he wanted the line to end
either but
Sorry!
This time, though, he really did stumble. And to make things worse, his nose
collided with the back of the person in front of him, who just happened to be wearing a
rather dirty-looking sweater. It was at that moment that he discovered that, albeit muted
down, odors still existed in this weird place. Pungent and fetidit was the icing on the
cake, the final nail that hit the coffin, the only thing he needed to finally explode. And so
it was the owner of the sweater, a middle-aged man who looked as if he was expecting an
apology, who got a rather nasty glare instead. Seriously, it was bad enough that he was
lining up for something he didnt want. But thisthis was just too much.
He whirled around, intent on unleashing hell on whoever was behind him and to
at least scare her enough to keep her at a distancepreferably at a distance where she
wouldnt step on the sole of his shoe every damn time the line moved.
Watch where youre going!
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You dont have to shout at me, mister, I said I was sorry! And it was an
accident, its not like I meant to
However, his plans were foiled when he felt a finger poking his chest
repeatedly. The nerve of the girl, really. Annoyed, he grabbed the girls wrist and looked
down.
Stop it, you clumsy, annoying
What he didnt expect to see, though, was a face he hoped never again to see, a
face that made him weak, a face that was looking at him with such complete awe, just as
it used to seven years ago.
And in his abysmally pessimistic mind, he decided that the day just became ten
times worse.
He stifled a groan and turned away before she could confirm that it wasnt just
her imagination that she saw her
Sasuke-kun?
Stubbornly, he refused to turn around. This line could go on forever, and he sure
as hell didnt want to spend eternity being annoyed by
poke.
Sasuke-kun? Is that really you? she asked again.
Sasuke-kuuun
poke. poke. poke.
By this time, he was already regretting his rudeness to the one in front of him.
He couldve traded places with that guy if
Sasuke-kun?
poke. poke.
Still, he refused to budge, choosing instead to look straight ahead. Like hell, he
wasnt going to dig his own grave and turn around.
poke.
Sasuke-kun? Hey Sasuke-kun!
poke. poke. poke.
And he wouldve succeeded too, if only he was more tolerant towards being
continuously poked.
It was annoying. She was annoying.
Sakura, stop it. Youre being annoying! But it was only when he said those
words that he realized his mistake.
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Ah, so it is you, Sasuke-kun, she said, smiling cheekily at him, her eyes
holding a mischievous glint that was never directed at him until that moment.
poke. poke. poke. poke.
He wondered when and how and why she had shed all that reverence she used to
shower him with back when they were children. Because, really, though he hated it back
then, he thought it would actually come in handy at that momenta lot. He couldnt,
after all, have her treating him so so disrespectfully.
But just one look at her, smiling at him with a disarming smile that was full of
confidence, he knew the old Sakura was gone.
And in her place was a stranger probably an even more annoying one.
poke.
Hour 30
Sasuke-kun, according to my watch, weve been here for thirty hours there
are 24 hours in a day. They said wed get to the end of the line in a day, Sasuke-kun!
Why is it taking too long?
He tried to ignore her, only to have her tug his sleeve repeatedly as he did so.
Hn.
He tried to act nonchalant. But she did have a point. How long was a day in
purgatory, anyway? Apparently, it was different from Earths 24-hour a day policy. And
was a day in purgatory even a constant value? Because, if it was, what happened during
the times when the Earths population was still low? And what happened when the
population became millions? Did thehe didnt knowangels, or something, adjust the
value of a day as they saw fit? So could a day really mean forever? Not that that was a
bad thing. He just hated not knowing what time it was, especially after spending his
entire life juggling schedules. Following a new time scheme that nobody oriented him
with made him rather anxious.
You cant pretend it doesnt bother you, Sasuke-kun. I know youre itching to
rant too.
Perceptive. In all honesty, he really was tempted to answer her. Ten or so years
of being apart apparently made her a much better conversationalist.
Oh, sure, she was always smart. But when they were young, she never did grace
him with her wit. Whenever she was with him, she seemed to lose all of that intelligence
everyone admired, asking for dates and openly flirting, doing things that were beneath
her.She even declared her love for him once, stupidly thinking that everything would be
okay, that they would live happily ever after if he only stayed with her.
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Not that he doubted her words, of course. He knew her love was genuine, as was
her belief that things would work out. But she just didnt know what offering her love to
someone like him entailed. It would never work out. Because even if they have the same
age, he had felt like he was ten years older than her. It was no surprise either, for she
lived a rather sheltered life with her friends and family while he, well, he was just
unlucky.
She was smart, yes, but she was ignorant and nave as well.
She was much too fragile for someone like him.
But apparently, things changed. She grew bolder. And he was no longer treated
differently from everyone else. The repeated poking could attest to that. Sakura, for the
first time in her life (or death), was gracing him with her wit. In fact, she treated him so
much like he treated everyone else back then that he had to wonder
Did you get over me?
The question, unintentional and inappropriate, seemed to daze his companion as
she stood there, paralyzed, her mouth agape.
Sasuke, on the other hand, deeply regretted his impulsive query but knew that
there was nothing he could do to take it back. So, he decided to just stick it out and wait
for her to respond. He fixed her to her spot with a stare, making sure that she couldnt
avoid giving an answer.
Before he could wrest an answer from Sakura, however, she was shoved forward
roughly.
Move it, kid.
Sasuke reached out to steady her, and glared at the person behind her.
You dont scare me with that glare, boy. Im already dead, aint nothing else
you can do to hurt me.
And to that, he had to concede. Getting into a brawl would prove to be rather
impractical, not to mention fruitless. He didnt remove his hand from Sakuras shoulder,
however, and ushered her a bit closer to him instead.
Geez, I dont mean ya any harm. Aint no sense in doing so. The names
Hidan, by the way, the man said, slicking his silver hair back with his left hand while
extending the other out to them.
We dont care, Sasuke answered for the both of them, the tone of his voice
still blatantly hostile.
Hidan raised both is hands up in a gesture of mock surrender.
Fine, I wont bother you.
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With that, Sasuke turned around, placing Sakura in front of him, switching their
places in the line. He ignored Hidans derogatory scoff, choosing instead to focus on
some point above Sakuras head.
Sakura, whose shock had dissipated, became strangely silent.
If she wanted to pretend that he never asked her the question, then he was
perfectly willing to oblige her. He had a feeling that things were easier that way anyway.
Hour 39
No.
The word, spoken after many hours of silence, filled him with a sense of sick
triumph. Her answer was clipped and vague. But he knew perfectly well what she was
talking about.
So she never did get over him.
Well, that was nice.
Because he never did get over her either.
It was only fair
Or unfair. After all, he was the one who left her. Not to mention how rude he
acted towards her when they were young. She never gave up on him, though. She kept on
chasing him, even though she was under the impression that he hated her. He didnt hate
her, not really. He just made it seem that way, because he knew that hed leave
eventually.
But she was persistent. She gave him care and love and all of the things he had
lost in that one unfortunate incident during his childhood. She gave him her heart when
he had lost his. She kept on giving and giving and giving, hoping that she would earn his
affections.
And unknown to this oblivious woman, she did earn it.
Sakura had him; hook, line, and sinker.
It wasnt that he loved her, no. He was Sasuke, he no longer knew how to love.
It was more like, he needed her.
She never knew though, nor would he tell her. So she kept on giving, and he
never gave back.
She gave, he took, and the world never gave them a chance.
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But even when he was away, he still took from her. Her memory was his sanity,
the only proof that he once had a life, that there was someone who loved him and that he
had someone to go to if he ever decided to stop and rest. As long as she loved him, she
was his. He had something, someone. And that if she ever moved on was his biggest fear,
because then he would really have nothing left.
Deep in his heart though, he understood that it would be the right thing for her to
do so. He never deserved her. Never. But he knew hed hate her if she did move on,
irrational and selfish as it may seem. Hed think of her as a traitor, even when the one
who deserved to be called that was no one else but himself.
So he clung to it, the knowledge that someone somewhere was thinking of him,
waiting for him, loving him. He believed in it, avoided anything that might prove it
wrong, thought of it as true despite the implausibility.
He was right.
I never did.
She sounded despondent and defeated, well, it didnt matter. Old habits die
hard he learned long ago to appreciate what he could have. Life was a matter of taking
what you could and holding on to what you have. And if he still had her heart, then it
would be enough. Never mind if it was reluctant and morose.
He smirked.
Good.
He spoke the words in the same way one would when complimenting a student.
And hearing her mumbled complaints afterwards only made him smirk wider.
The line moved, and with feet that suddenly seemed heavier, he moved along
with it.
Hour 40
"I wonder how much longer it will take." He heard her say, impatience palpable
in her voice. "Why are you so excited anyway?" he asked, one brow raised. He'd have
thought everybody would be nervous on the eve of the final judgment. It just wasn't
normal to be... excited.
As a response, Sakura gestured at her coat, which he just noticed to be that of a
doctors.
Just because youre a doctor doesnt mean youve got a sure ticket to heaven,
he said, indignant at her cocky confidence. It didnt help at all that she was so optimistic
about something he was pessimistic about.
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Oh but Sasuke-kun, I went pro-bono, she said cheekily, not that it matters
much, anyway. God is said to be merciful, youll see. So, many people will be able to
make it into heaven even if they havent been particularly perfect. I guess he forgives
anyone as long as they didnt do any major sins.
The moment those words flew out of her mouth, Sasuke felt his stomach drop.
For a moment, he felt a deep resentment for Sakura. She was little miss perfect when
they were children, and as far as he knew, she didnt change one bit.
Nobody liked know-it-alls.
But he did.
What others hated about her was always what he loved about her. And even as
he looked at her, standing with a smug grin on her face as she held her white coat, his
resentment gave way to some deep admiration. A pro-bono doctor, now that was
something. He always could count on her to be better than the rest.
Contrary to her belief, it wasnt her forehead that garnered all the hatred of her
classmates. No, it wasnt even that large to begin with. The reason was Sakuras tendency
to be always a step ahead. She wasnt prone to making the same mistakes they did. She
seemed rather immune to the folly of childhood; always being prim and proper, hand
always the first to be raised for recitation, homework always done and always perfect,
projects always stellar and always on time, uniform always immaculate. Her only flaw
was that underneath all her bravado, she really had little confidence in herself. And all the
things she did to improve herself was actually the product of that deep-seated insecurity.
Compensation was her bosom buddy.
And that insecurity only grew as more people started teasing her. It was a huge
irony, really, that the only thing her enemies had succeeded in doing was making Sakura
a winner and themselves losers. Her enemies pushed her into perfection.
But he pushed her into imperfection.
The only moment in her life that she had failed him and fallen to mediocrity was
when she fell in love with him. She pined for him like everyone else. He supposed it
shouldve made him feel special. But he knew her, perhaps better than anyone else. And
he knew that all her chasing and stalking was never really about him. It was about her
rivalry with Ino.
It made him feel used.
It was only later, much later, when she found out that life wasnt all peaches and
cream, that it became about him. But by then, he had long since fallen for her, albeit
reluctantly. This made him resent her, making him excessively rude towards her.
Feh! Youre a fool, he snapped, completely meaning it, but not in the way she
wouldve thought. By the look on her face, she seemed to be waiting for him to expound
on his insult. And when she saw that he wasnt about to indulge her, she just started
chattering about another subject.
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Perhaps she had shed her insecurities while he was away and the opinions of
others, him in particular, didnt matter as much to her anymore. Funny how he didnt like
how she came closer to perfection for it.
Hour 126
He had long since lost track of how much time they had spent in purgatory and
Sakuras wristwatch had long since stopped working. As it was, they were trudging
through, feeling not an ounce of tiredness, but a whole lot of boredom, and Sakuras
incessant talking wasnt helping at all. It only made him feel like there was a bee buzzing
in his ear.
and then the second guy said, Are you crazy? Youllahh, Sasuke-kun,
are you still listening?
No.
Ah, youre no fun, said Sakura, a small pout adorning her face. She never did
like it when he ignored her. Anyway, if you dont want to listen to my stories, then
maybe you can think of something to pass the time, Mr. Genius. cuz Im certainly out of
ideas, she finished with a huff, her arms crossed in front her.
How about we actually try silence for once, hm?
In response, Sakura merely huffed once more and turned further away from him.
So she was angry, so what? She never could stay mad at
Hey, do you remember that time when
Sasuke stared at her pointedly. Sure he expected her to forgive him, but not that
fast. He thought it would buy him at least a few minutes of silence.
Mooouuu Im just bored, Sasuke-kun. Cant you indulge me? I mean, look at
this place, its different from the world we used to live in. We dont even have any notion
of what time means here. We have no responsibilities at all, nothing to do but wait.
Honestly, Im not even sure if there really was a past and if there really is a future. For all
we know, this line, this could go on forever. And what we thought to be our past was
only a dream and II just dont know, Sasuke-kun. Honestly, Im a bit scared.
Her words, rambling though they may have been, actually struck a cord within
him. He had never thought of it that way. True, this world, for all its monotonous
stability, was virtually alien to him and he was therefore quite uncertain. One thing he
was sure about, though, was that this white-washed worldpurgatorywas certainly a
lot better than the one he had left.
On earth, there had been nothing for him but grief and misery. All he had was a
lifetime of turmoil, wrong-turns, terrible luck, personal demons
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In purgatory, however, he had nothing, nothing at all, but Sakuras nonstop
babbling.
He had no responsibilities here, no duties, no revenge plots to carry out; he had
nothing to do but follow the line.
Perhaps it was a place where he could finally let go
And then, as if he had a sudden epiphany, it hit him: maybe he should.
When what?
Whahuh? Sakura asked, confusion written all over her face.
You asked me if I remembered that time. What about it?
Inwardly, he sighed contentedly. She always did look pretty when she smiled.
Hour 140
He had never been good at conversations. As a kid, he was trained never to
speak until spoken to. And as an adolescent, he mostly avoided talking to people at all.
And having an extreme distaste for people didnt help much, either.
It was only now when he was actually swapping inane ideas with Sakura
without any pressure and without the guilt of dallying when there was always something
else to do that he actually found the merits of interacting with another human being.
It was sort of fun.
The cure for cancer and the cure for AIDSjust another decade of research
and humans wouldve discovered it
Space explorationthat wouldve been the next focus. Who cares about cancer
or AIDS? Given another thirty years, humans wouldve sent probes or maybe even
primates as far as Alpha Centauri and we would have been zooming through the solar
system in high-tech space ships, having already colonized Io.
He moved his palm around in a rough imitation of a space ship, suddenly feeling
like a kid again, loving the look of sheer fondness on Sakuras face. She looked as if she
was falling in love all over again, falling for this side of him that she had never seen
before, a side which was hidden long before he had met her or Naruto or Kakashi. He
couldnt even remember the last time he acted this goofy or even the last time he merely
thought about outer space, which was his obsession during his childhood.
He had wanted to be an astronaut.
The grim reality of how much had been taken from him because of that one
unfortunate incident came crashing down on him in the form of the ease by which he now
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held himself, and the sense of freedom which simply saying things like spaceship and
Io granted him.
Being happy was painful.
Sakura frowned in concern, noticing his change of mood.
Space travel is so... ugh I still think cures, vaccines, for the deadliest diseases
wouldve been focused on, Sakura said tentatively, her argumentative tone sounding a
bit forced.
Sasukes throat felt constricted and he felt like lashing out, resenting her for all
the things she had that she probably took for granted, unjustly hating her for the same
reason he had during those wobbly first stages of their friendship. But the feel of her
small hand taking hold of his, silently giving him comfort, it couldnt make him hate.
Spaceships are way cooler than vaccines, Sakura, he said, his voice a bit
strained. It was difficult to speak, but he managed. And that simple statementthat small
step
It felt like a giant leap for him.
He was mending.
Hour 155
His visual acuity was always a perfect 20/20; he could always see farther than
anybody he knew. The uncanny ability even earned him the nickname eagle during his
stay with theno, he promised himself he wouldnt think of that. He wouldnt. Not here.
Not anymore.
then Hinata actually whacked him on the head with a ladle. Can you imagine
poor Narutos surprise when he faced the normally shy Hinatas wrath? That was quite a
sight andSasuke-kun
He tore his gaze away from the structure that loomed ominously in the distance
and looked at Sakura. The sight of her, with her head cocked to the side, a contemplative
expression gracing her face, drained him of the sense of foreboding he felt when he saw
the structure.
He wouldnt worry not yet.
Hed give himself a chance first.
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Hour 182
Sakura, I never knew you wanted to be a doctor.
She turned towards him then, seemingly surprised that he had asked her a
question, a question about her, no less.
It was unnerving. After all, it was always her who initiated the conversations.
The times when he did actually talk to her first were when he needed to ask a question
relevant to school, or when he needed something from her. So thisthis was relatively
new.
And it annoyed him.
Because the way she was looking at himas if he had grown a second head
was insulting.
Had he really been that much of an ass? Probably.
Either way, he was already trying his best, and the least she could do was
cooperate.
I said, I never knew that you wanted to be a doctor, he repeated, unable to
conceal a hint of irritation in his voice. He expected her to go on another self-righteous
speech about helping people and going pro-bono and saving third world countries and
such. He wasnt exactly looking forward to it, but he didnt know what else to ask her in
order to jumpstart a conversation. He was, after all, relatively new to being social.
I didnt, she answered offhandedly.
His eyes widened at her reply. He never expected her to be so blunt. And he
hadnt expected an answer like that either. He watched her as she fiddled with the collar
of her coat, her expression pensive. She was biting her lipa sure indication that she was
thinking of something serious.
He waited for her to elaborate, but when she didnt seem inclined to do so, he
pressed.
Why?
The look on her face clearly meant that he didnt wish for him to continue his
interrogation. For a moment, he wondered if he should just oblige her and change the
topic. She was obviously uncomfortable.
Unfortunately, her discomfort only served to make him more curious.
And he was no martyr.
Why? he repeated.
What has gotten into you, Sasuke-kun? Why are you so inquisitive and
persistent? Honestly, its like youre the annoying one now an
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I wouldnt be so persistent if you just tell me the answer. Why did you not want
to become a doctor?

Tell me.

Sakura
Because I wanted to be something else, she said with a huff. She glared at a
spot on the ground, refusing to meet his eyes.
What?
She glared at him then, obviously annoyed at his persistence.
Youre unbelievable, Sasuke-kun. Cant you see that I dont want to answer
your questions? And to think I was actually happy that you asked me something. Geez,
what a let down. I cant believe I spent all those years waiting for you to talk. If only I
knew how annoying you could be when you actually did talk, I
Sakura, are you hiding something? He smirked, a little surprised that he
actually sounded playful. Then again, he was already dead, he supposed that would make
changes inevitable. But he had a feeling that he wasnt really changing, only reverting to
what he wouldve been had he been a bit luckier in life.
INo! No, of course not! Its just that
Then answer my question. What was it that you wanted to be?
She flushed, her cheeks reddening like a ripe tomato. Amused, his smirk only
grew wider.
Answer my question, Sakura.
A few moments of silence passed before she finally made up her mind. She
sighed, resigned. When she spoke, her voice was laced with bitterness.
A housewife.
His housewife.
That he was secretly pleased with her answer and its unspoken implications,
hed never tell heror anyone, for that matter. Hell, he could hardly even admit it to
himself.
Hour 208
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It took a while for the muscles in his face to relax, to let go of that perpetual
scowl. Something told him that the muscles he used for smiling had atrophiedif that
was in any way possible. But eventually, he managed to do it, even if it was only a
garbled version.
Either way, it was the happiest hed felt in years.
It was ironic, but being with Sakura in Purgatory brought a whole new
dimension to the term better off dead.
A chance at happinessthat was what she gave him.
It made him wonder what it wouldve been like had he taken this chance when it
was first offered to him, when it wouldnt have been bittersweet just sweet.
If he had just let go of the demons
Maybe he couldve finished college with her. He couldve held her hand and
asked her to marry him and she wouldve said yes. They couldve rented an apartment,
lived together, grew up together, start a family together. He wouldve gone home to a
sickeningly sweet yet undeniably satisfying domestic scene with her in a frilly pink apron
welcoming him home with a kiss; hed smile at her, not one of the messed-up ones he
could make now but a real one, teeth showing and all. And then hed collapse on an easy
chair, dead tired from the days work, maybe even complain about his co-workers a bit,
and shed massage his temples soothingly, and
You know boy, they say the fires of hell are black and that theyre never
doused, no matter what you do. They just keep on burning and burning, and the pain will
never ever end, and every minute you spend in hell will be like dying a thousand deaths.
and then reality came in the form of Hidans uncouth drawl and dumped him
into a pail of ice cold water. Only, it wouldnt really have been water, would it? It
wouldve been the exact opposite.
Hour 213
Hey Sasuke-kun
Hm?
He watched her, one brow raised, as she stared at their intertwined hands
nervously.
Uhm, I noticed that weve been holding hands for quite a while now uhm
Her hold on his hand tightened, and his eyes narrowed into slits as he wondered
where she was going with this.
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Well, uhm, I was thinking well, in truth, I didnt want to ask you this
because I was afraid that youd let go if you noticed. I mean, I know how much you hate
public displays of affectionnot that Im sure its affection, Im not even sure if you like
meand I dont want to be assuming but
Sakura, get to the point.
Her cheeks started reddening and her rambling only became worse. Sasuke had
to keep himself from sighing in exasperation. He could tell that whatever she was about
to say meant a lot to her.
Well, I... uhm, Im sorry. Okay, I just think our hands
Sakura
Oh right, sorry. Its just Ia
Remembering Narutos surprisingly sensible advice about dealing with girls, he
squeezed her hand in encouragement. Instead of being grateful though, as he expected,
Sakura only looked at him as if he had really grown a third head. Thoroughly insulted, he
growled and tried to tug his hand away. Sakura wouldnt let him, however, and held on to
him with both hands, resolution evident in her eyes.
Sasuke-kun.
Oh well, being considerate and romantic didnt work the way he expected it to,
but at least it got the job done.
Ive noticed that weve been holding hands consistently for quite a while now.
Does this mean that were together now?"
He blinked.
Once.
"I mean, boyfriend-girlfriend together?
Twice.
That was not what he had expected.
It was a rather stupid question too. Wasnt the answer already obvious?
He looked at Sakura again, wondering whether or not she really was serious, a
derisive comment already at the tip of his tongue. But with only one look, he knew she
was serious about this. She really needed to know. The thought both amused him and
made him feel guilty.
Do you want us to be? he asked.
Her eyes widened, and for a moment, she looked very surprised. She looked
down at their hands again, seemingly afraid to meet his eyes now. Her grip had
slackened and he didnt like it.
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She didnt give her answer at once.
He couldnt deny that in his heart, he too was starting to become insecure.
He suddenly felt very angry at himself for letting his guard down. Would she
deny him? No, she still loved him he knew that, he trusted her, she wouldnt hurt him,
would she? But then, why wasnt she speaking, was she having doubts? Did she realize
that she didnt love him after all?
Hating the uncertainty, he pressed.
Sakura
Sasuke-kun Iyes, I want us to be together that is if youll have me.
This time, it was his turn to be surprised. He didnt know that she still had those
insecurities. Besides, if there was anyone who should feel inadequate and undeserving
here, it was him.
Good, he said, letting go of the breath he didnt know he was holding.
Good, he repeated.
She beamed at him and he couldnt help but feel painfully undeserving of her
gratitude.
But Sasuke-kun, you do realize that were dead, right? So in a sense, is it
really possible be together when were technically both corpses and will it be
necrophilia if we
Sakura.
Yes, Sasuke-kun?
Shut up.
Make me?
Ill let go of your hand.
Dolt. You were supposed to make me shut up by kissing me.
He raised a brow at her and pretended to pull his hand away, but she caught it
before he could do so completely, and held on to it so tightly it almost hurt.
Alright, alright, Im shutting up, geez.
Then she smiled at him, so dazzling and loving and grateful that it made his
stomach churn and his gut twist. He didnt deserve her at all.
Hour 266
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He remembered nights, several nights, when he would just sit on the floor,
cradling the bitter memories in his head, making sure he never ever forgot, making sure
he wouldnt smile.
Smiling was dangerous. It meant contentment. And he shouldnt be content, not
while his familys murderer was still running free. No, he had to wallow in his misery.
He had to. He needed to.
So, he kept on reminding himself of the painreliving the memories, over and
over again, reveling in his solitude, making a special effort to push everyone away. He
knew hed lose sight of his goal if he didnt. Time dulled everything, after all, even the
pain of losing a family. And having a make-shift family only served to hasten the salving.
So he pushed them away, all those who offered, he pushed them away with
harsh glares and cruel words.
His strategy worked well enough with most people.
But some were persistent.
Eventually, he found himself a potential mentor, a potential best friend, and a
potential wifethe makeshift family he was dreading.
He only had to reach out and they would be his.
He never did reach out.
But with them, he didnt have to.
So when his memory of that unfortunate night became hazier and hazier to the
point that he had to remind himself every single night of how much it hurt, when he
started catching himself letting out a small smile all too often, when he got into thinking
about building a new future and just letting go, he started getting scared.
He needed to keep his focus, he had to avenge his true family.
But how could he when all his bad memories were so old and his new ones were
all sunshine and rainbows?
He was always smart, so the answer, plain as day, came to him soon enough.
He needed new memories new sources of pain, new reasons to hate.
He needed them if he wanted to reach his goal. So he left. He left study dates
on Friday nights, and lunches at Ichiraku, and philosophical debates and beer. He left
love and friendship and his last shot at happiness.
He left them all behind, he left Naruto, he left Kakashi he left her, Sakura.
He never needed any more reminding after that.
Though, he had to admit, his plan worked quite well. Maybe even too well.
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Everything, everything needed for his revenge anyway, became rather easy.
Murder, maiming, kidnappingeverything became easy.
These acts became just as mundane as well, taking a bath or using the johns.
In fact, he got so good at it that he rose in the ranks of the criminal underground
with relative speed and ease. It was only a matter of time until he found Itachi.
However, as it turned out, Itachi wasnt really the culprit, after all.
It was like a poorly written plot twist, only worse, because it was real.
But revenge was like a drug, he had to have it. So he pursued it, relentlessly and
with as much zest as before, maybe even more: thus, his little alliance with the Akatsuki,
a rebel group that was hell-bent on overthrowing the government.
And with the joint efforts of Madara and Sasuke, Akatsukis little skirmishes
and raids soon turned what used to be a small insurrection into a full-blown civil war.
A civil war which caused the deaths of thousands and thousands of innocent
civilians.
Oh yes, the government was going down, and it was all because of him, Uchiha
Sasuke.
Use the principle of transitivity and youll have this: thousands and thousands of
innocent civilians died because of Uchiha Sasuke.
But it didnt matter, not really, not to him. He was a man with a mission. He had
to have his revenge.
Then one day, the world ended.
They were going to do a bombing that day, one that would trigger a series of
events that would render them, the Akatsuki, victorious. Trip the light fantastic, Pain
had said in that eerily fanatical voice of his as they watched Deidara press the button.
The bomb exploded properly, exactly according to plan.
What they didnt count on, however, was that there would be a far bigger
explosion, one that made their little act of terrorism seem like a puny joke.
Their story didnt even make it to the 6 oclock news.
How could it when the TV station had turned into a pile of rubble, just like the
rest of the city?
Osaka had been hit by a meteor.
The apocalypse had started.
The red sky and the ocean of bloodthey came alive, and every other living
thing succumbed to the shadow of death.
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It was the biggest massacre since the holocaust. And the entire human race fell
as its victim.
Sasuke, ever the cynic, believed that the afterlife was a hoax. For him, it was
just something people believed in so that their lives would have some small semblance of
meaning. He believed that the Bible belonged in the Fiction section of the library, along
with the works of Tolkien and Asimov. The idea that an old man, who sported a long
snowy beard and wore a pristine white robe, had the power to cast him into the fire or to
promise him a blissful eternity was, to him, totally absurd.
Of course, he was promptly proven wrong when he woke up in Purgatory.
And so here he was, holding the hand of the girl he had left all those years ago,
very much in-love and hating every minute of it, staring at the tall gates which held what
would be his own undoingan old man who sported a long snowy beard and wore a
pristine white robe.
Sasuke-kun, the Gates of Heaven look rather pretty, dont they?
He didnt answer her. After all, how could he tell her that the Gates of Heaven
looked too much like a garrison for him?
Hour 278
Oi, you.
poke.
Seriously, what was it with poking and the people in purgatory? Did he have a
sign on his back that said poke me or was he just perfectly poke-able?
Oi, Im talking to you.
What!
The man, Hidan, gestured to him furtively, inviting him to listen to gossip.
Reluctantly, Sasuke leaned in. Hidan then cupped his hands and whispered into Sasukes
ear.
Youre selfish.
Sasuke grimaced, thoroughly annoyed. He wasnt in the mood for any petty
squabbles. Sighing, he straightened up and glared at Hidan.
Tell me something I dont know, he said, turning away once again,
determined to just ignore the insult and go on with his lifeor rather, afterlife.
I know that you were in Akatsuki, and if you dont want me to tell her, I
suggest you be nicer to me.
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He stiffened, unsure of what to do.
I dont know what youre talking about, he lied.
The man simply laughed at him. Dont bother lying, boy, I was in Akatsuki
once too. I know where youre goingin fact, I think well be going there together.
Though, from what I gather, she doesnt know that yet.
What do you want?
Nothing. Besides, its not like you have anything to give me Well, except
perhaps your soul, but now that I know that I picked the wrong religion, I dont think it
matters to me anymore so yeah, you dont have anything to give me.
Sasuke gave the man a derisive look. This unexpected development was
beginning to make him uneasy. He glanced at Sakura furtively, just to make sure she
wasnt listening. She was engaged in a conversation with the guy he bumped into earlier
who, as it turned out, was actually a doctor as well. Satisfied, he turned to Hidan once
again.
Then why are you doing this? he asked, unable to stop himself from voicing
the question out. It was unthinkablethat bad luck would follow him even as he pursued
his last taste of happiness.
I dont like you.
The incredulity of what was happening struck him speechless, and he just
gawked at Hidan with disbelief written all over his features. Hidan took this as a sign to
continue.
Youre very stupid, youre setting yourself up for a tragedy and you know it.
Sasuke gritted his teeth, knowing that what Hidan spoke was true, yet not
wanting to acknowledge it.
And youre taking her with you.
He didnt have anything to say to that so, he didnt.
So what if he was selfish? He was going to hell anyway, what difference would
a few more sins make? He was only trying to get as much happiness as he could. After
all, he had been so deprived of it when he was on Earth, and it looked like he'd be
deprived of it again on the place where he was going. It was only in purgatory that he
could actually be happy.
After all, drowning men would always take one last greedy gulp of air before
succumbing to the deep blue.
Hed take what he could.
It was only practical.
Although, was it really fair to pull others down for that one last gulp?
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Some small part of him was telling him that it was his own fault that he wasn't
happy on Earth. He could've had it, he only had to reach out, but he never ever did. So
would it really be fair?
Hell, who was he kidding? He killed men for even less. So what if he was
setting Sakura up for a tragedy as well? If her tears were what he needed for that last
gulp, then hed milk her eyes for what theyre worth.
He didnt love her anyway. He was Sasuke, he no longer knew how to love.
I dont love her.
Hour 365
Sasuke-kun, youre being unusually quiet or rather, you were being
unusually talkative, and now youre back to normal.
He heard her giggle, a futile attempt to lighten the mood.
He didnt want to laugh, he couldnt.
She was up next.
Sasuke-kun, youre nervous, arent you?
Hn.
He didnt answer her, he was too busy hating her for the simple fact that shed
leave him. But it wasnt her faultwhen was it ever?
It was always him, him, him.
I-Im nervous too, Sasuke-kun. Hey, talk to me
He suddenly wished that he didnt trade places with her earlier. He wouldve
had an easier time walking away from herhe was used to it, after all, walking away.
But now he had to watch her, he had to watch her walk away from him.
But would she leave him, would she still walk away if she knew that he
wouldnt follow? The selfish side of him wanted to find out and it was the side that
was winning.
Next, a voice called from the gates of the fortress.
Sasuke-kun, theyre calling me now, IllIll see you on the other side, okay?
Again, he didnt answer her, didnt even look at her. He never lied to her before,
and he wasnt about to start.
Sasuke-kun II have to go She tugged on his hand, trying and failing to
get his attention.
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Next, the voice repeated, an impatient air to its tone.
IllIll see you, okay? Love you, Sasuke-kun.
She waited for him a bit, but pulled her hand free, gave him a small hug, and
turned away when the voice called once more.
Sasuke immediately felt the loss, his own hand empty and desolate, growing
colder as she walked farther away. Hed miss her warmthhed miss her, hed miss her
so much.
He shouldve returned the hug, he shouldve
Sakura
He called, his voice cracking. Hed tell her
Hed tell her and shed know that he wouldnt be able to follow and shed stop
and stay with him and he wouldnt be alone, hed drag her down with him, he didnt, he
didnt need to be alone anymore, she would, she would go with him if he asked, she
loved him, shed go to hell for him, she
She looked at him, eyes questioning and expectant and warm.
God, hed never see those eyes again, never see her again, nevernever.
Unless, he stopped her.
He would. He would because he craved to
Yes, yes, he knew she would suffer and she deserved so much better, but she
would suffer, choose to suffer if he asked her to.
Stay with me, he'd ask her, and she would.
He didnt love her anyway, he didnt love her, but he needed her. Hed take
heaven away from her. Hed take her with him.
He just needed to ask
Thank you.
Goodbye.
He clenched his fist, trying to keep as much of her warmth as possible. He
looked at her, desperately, longingly, trying to imprint the last memory hed have of her
into his mind.
Hed need it for the eternity to comethe memory of Sakura, smiling at him.
A warm, warm Sakura, smiling at him, loving him
And hed never see her again. Never.
Ill see you, Sasuke-kun.
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Sorry, Sakura. Sorry.
God, it hurt.
He closed his eyes, not wanting to watch her walk away, trying to see her last
smile in his minds eye. His throat felt parched, and his heart was clenching painfully,
and he even suspected that he was cryinghe couldnt even remember the last time he
criedand it was shameful, but he didnt care.
It hurt so much
He smiled, smiled through the tears and the pain, he smiled.
Goodbye.
The line moved.
***
She watched as another soul flitted into paradisea small girl gasping at the sheer
magnificence of the misty citadel that lay in wait beyond the gargantuan gates.
Paradise probably was a beautiful place.
But she wouldnt know. After all, she never bothered to really look.
She never did bother to enter the gates.
Arent you going to come in?
An old man sitting behind a massive oak desk asked her.
He was packing up, she noticed. He capped his ink bottle, pocketed his quill, and closed
his voluminous notebook, doing so with a satisfied weariness.
Isnt there anyone else?
She asked worriedly.
The old man shook his head sadly, not meeting her gaze, and Sakura felt her heart drop.
He wasnt going to come.
Oh.
Was all she said.
She moved to the very edge of the precipice, ignoring the mist swirling around her feet.
She looked down into the abyss, the black nothingness, and trembled.
Young lady.
The old man called out to her, concern evident in his voice.
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Hell isnt a kind place, young lady.
I know.
She answered.
It isnt possible to return to heaven once youve left.
Sakura turned and took a long lingering, contemplative look at the majestic citadel
behind the gates.
Then she looked at the old man in the eyes, a sad smile adorning her face.
This isnt heaven.
A light breeze caressed her skin as she turned away from what shouldve been her home,
her flimsy white gown fluttering as she took a single step forward.
She was falling.
Stillborn Sighs
Those lovely red rockets had found him and were swooping in for a last, fatal
kiss.
Sasuke sprinted forward, felt the muddy rumble collapse and twist under his left
leg. There was a sudden, sick jerk of the bone shifting, the broken pieces grinding
together, and then a splitting ache shot like acid up his skin, spiking.
He swore, toppling to the ground, as the machine gun slammed lung-crushingly
into his chest, winding him. Sasuke coughed and spat red, struggled onto his elbows and
shoved himself inelegantly forward, while clawing desperately at the rim and tumbling,
adrenaline throbbing against the back of his eyes, into the shelter-hole.
Around him, the battleground exploded, acid rain and dirt and wicked rusts of
metal tearing across his body. His leg was bursting with a bomb of its own, and pain was
the color of absolute black.
He fell into it, shaking.
***
Someone tapped his shoulder hesitantly. Sasuke stirred, peeled back his eyes,
and tried to blink away the blindness. She came carefully into focus, features lovingly
familiar, her eyes carrying all the home he needed.
Oh, good. Sakura sighed shakily. There were dirty crescent moons under her
fingernails. She touched his forehead with her lips, leaving a lipstick mark in blood. He
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shifted slightly, trying to shake off the grey skies and the heavy gun Sakura had strapped
to her back, just over her nurses uniform.
This is your nineteenth, Sasuke. He could feel her smile against his skin. Just
one more to go. Just one more run, and youll be safe. Youll be an officer.
Tch, he managed the harsh noise, licking his lips twice. Ragged black crows
were circling the sky. He ignored the hand she offered him, though she forced it on him
anyways, carefully helping him sit up. His head spun, green blooming in front of his
vision.
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Here. Sakura fumbled awkwardly at her waist, then pushed the cool aluminum
lid to his lips, precious, clear water filling his mouth deliciously. He used to drink water
like this when he was a child. But then, it had still rained back then. There had still been
oceans.
Can you stand? Sakura asked. Sasuke nodded slowly, and then pushed the
canteen back into her pale hands while hearing the water slosh around inside, shoving
down his own selfish longing.
Dont waste that stuff, he berated, and struggled to his feet.
His leg, which had throbbed quietly, suddenly screamed harshly, the agony raw
and ripping. He gasped and sworedizziness returning.
Oh Sakura grabbed him again, bracing him with difficulty until the attack
abated. She glanced down at his leg shrewdly. Dont step on it. Ill check that out when
we get back to base.
Not home.
Never home.
***
Youve broken your leg, she told him. Sasuke frowned, worry lines
accentuated and sharp against his young face. He couldnt have been older than twenty.
How long will it take to heal? he asked clinically. His eyes tracked her lithe
fingers as they tucked fine pink strands behind her left ear. She made a soft, irritable
noise.
Too long, probably. Six weeks, Id say.
He agreed. Too long. His hands were quiet on his lap, but he couldnt tear his
eyes from her hair. Pink. How the hell had she managed to make it into the army without
shaving it off?
She came to the edge of his bed; curling her arm around his waist and helping
him stand on his good foot, the other dangling gruesomely awkward at the ankle. He
leaned carefully away, aware of how fragile her shoulders felt.
So, what do you want to do? Sakura asked, bright green eyes trained steadily
on his own. I can amputate it, if you want. You wont get an infection, but itll be hell to
walk on, and can potentially take even longer.
No, Sasuke said immediately. He tried to picture himself with a stump of a
leg, swinging furiously for balance as he hopped.
Thought so, Sakura replied knowingly. She steered him to a low counter,
backed against the edge of the flimsy medics tent, bottoms wavering. Outside the gritty
orange cloth, the carefully cheerful chatter of the camp swelled, sharp voices spiking
above their murmured partners.
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Sasuke hissed softly, his own pride pushing away his delicate human crutch and
doggedly struggling to sit on the counter. She tilted her head to the side, watching, very
small under her uniform.
If I was a good doctor, Id tell you to keep off that foot and let your crutches do
the work. She pushed back her hair and smiled wryly. But that would be stupid,
wouldnt it?
Just do what you have to, Sasuke ordered curtly. His nerves felt like someone
was methodically peeling them apart and playing a voodoo tune on them.
She let out a breath, I can brace it. Its not going to get any better, though, if
you put any pressure on it. So try to lay off the field action, if you can. If you run on it,
its going to hurt like hell, but Ill make sure it wont get any worse.
Thank you, Sasuke managed, and gritted his teeth. Everyone knew they had
run out of painkillers two months ago.
***
He managed to make it back to the campsite in an hour, leaning on a crutch
intended for a man several inches shorter than him. Sakura followed him fretfully. He set
his teeth.
Youre allowed to sleep, you know. Im not going to keel over and die if you
shut your eyes.
She glanced up at him from under her eyelashes. Pink. She had abandoned
make-up a while ago. War had proven to be less glamorous than she had imagined. You
do an awfully good job of trying to.
A couple of men who hunkered down around a camp fire snickered. Sasuke
scowled at them, but they paid him no mind. The medals clinked against one another on
his chest; tarnished, picked clean from the corpses of their previous owners. Nineteen of
them. Just one more to go.
Im registering for the battle tomorrow, he said suddenly. Her arm arrested
him, cold gaze freezing him in place.
Sometimes he imagined that he was in love with Sakura. This was not one of
them.
Dont you dare, she said quietly, Give it a week, Sasuke. You can afford to
be out of it for a week.
He could hear his teeth begin to grind. The men had stopped laughing, either
because of the tone shift, or because they were out of range for eavesdropping. The
crutch plunged into a shallow trench left by a previous attack, and he very nearly fell, the
injured ankle snapping as he bumped it. He bit his lip, gnawing under the permanent scab
there.
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I want to go home, he said quietly, I just want to be promoted so I can leave.
My time will be up. We can get out of here.
Sakuras lips pressed together, sharp enough to cut his fingers on. She wore her
anger cold.
Every time you go out there, she said softly, I wonder if this is the time you
wont come back. Dont do this, Sasuke. Not tomorrow. Please.
He had never been infatuated with her. There had never been the puppy
adoration, the excited thrill he got from being near her, the rush of dazed confusion,
hormonal over dosage.
But there was still something there.
He took her hand and didnt say anything. He knew she wouldnt drop it, half
expected her to anyways.
She didnt. But her grip was bone-shatteringly desperate.
***
He opened his eyes to an angel for the second time that day. It was the same
one.
In the moonlight, the tips of her hair turned silver. Her head was bowed, eyes
clenched shut.
He watched how the light curved white and burning over her shoulder,
bleaching her into a portrait. She looked eerily beautifuldrowned and blue in her
wedding dress.
She was whispering, soft hisses slipping inaudibly together. The sheets pooled
into harsh lines around her waist, cold shadows dripping from her shoulder blades.
He sat up carefully, and reached across the space between them, her skin cool,
veins warm. His hand cradled the back of her neck, and he drew her back towards him.
He imagined the broken wings, hanging ruined from her shoulders. Her shoulder
blades were bare of the things he had imagined, but the imagination insisted.
She glanced at him over her shoulder, the skin in her neck stretched and
crinkling. He mouthed the word, reluctant to ruin the secret silence.
What?
She raised her voice, just slightly.
The enemy fire will not harm Sasuke Uchiha. The enemy fire will not harm
Sasuke Uchiha. The enemy fire will not harm Sasuke Uchiha. The
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enemy fire will not harm Sakura Haruno, he interrupted. Her eyes widened
solemnly. He had the nagging sense that he had said something right. He plunged past it.
What, are you religious suddenly?
She gleamed.
If you say something enough times, then maybe itll come true.
He didnt know what to say to something as blindly stupid as that. His chest felt
warm as he lay back down, warm enough that his leg faded into the background.
She came to rest beside him, two people on a cot designed for less than one. Just
before she drifted off, her mouth found his own, and he could taste that strange, clear
thing on her lips. When her eyes closed, he repeated it into her hair.
The enemy fire will not harm Sasuke Uchiha.
So close. They were so close to going home. He just needed to survive this one
last mission.
***
She had not been lying about his leg. He couldnt have gotten more than three
paces before he crumpled, gasping, and kept forwards from then on by a steady crawl.
The flash was all he saw before the ground ripped up inches from his right arm.
Sasuke slammed off to the side, millimeters faster than the machine gun bullets, and he
felt one of them tear through the webbing between his thumb and index finger, but only a
nick. Then he was safely curled behind a small mountain of his own friends, and he came
out again, pushing off with his bad leg and even if he couldnt see, he was shooting, he
was shooting, he was
He kept with the killing, even after the enemy soldier was dead.
The bullets ran out.
Sasuke dropped back down, his breath shaking but hands steady as he wrestled a
new gun from a dead man.
Just another mile to go. Just another mile.
He got to his knees and started crawling.
***
His knees were bleeding sluggishly around the gravel embedded in them. He set
his teeth and kept going, eyes stinging. He did not want to shut them. He would not die
now. He could not die now.
He had promised her. He had promised her on day one, told that red-eyed slip of
an underage girl that he was going to make ittold her that if he could survive once, he
could do it again. Nineteen times. He had to do it for both of them.
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Her hands had been shaking, clamped white-knuckled over her gun. He had to
pry it from her, gotten her into a medics uniform, gotten her safe. She would never have
to kill anyone again.
But the five percent of people she wasnt able to savethat five percent was
destroying her.
Death didnt become Sakura, he realized, and so he kept coming forward
stubbornly, breath ragged.
He was so close. So close.
He was going to go home. He was going to go home.
The enemy fire will not harm Sasuke Uchiha, he muttered, as he played the
weary sniper and kept going through the underbrush. Of course, he had to make sure he
wasnt going to bleed to death first.
He was going to go home.
He supposed that she would just have to come with him.
This was one of those times he supposed he was in love with her. It was easier to
admit when she wasnt around.
From the corner of his eye, a red flag fluttered proudly in the breeze. Panting,
Sasuke struggled upright and lurched towards it, something like joy, or maybe just relief
flooding his chest.
Here was the sweet escape.
He crossed the finish line.
The war was over for him. Over head, the clouds that never rained stirred, and
he tilted his head towards them from his cradle of security. That was what the war was
about, the bloody clouds and the fantasy of rain. He supposed they were fighting for the
right to live.
He could almost taste the water Sakura had given him.
He limped to the nearest officer, and held out his hand. Number twenty.
Ah, the man said calmly, and held out his hand for a shake. Going home?
Yeah, Sasuke said. He had to work to keep the grin from his face. Im taking
someone with me.
Hmm, said the man, a little crease of displeasure taking down his brows. But
rules were rulesand considering that for every field mission you went on, you had a
fifty percent chance of dying, no one would argue against their rights to leave.
Its a nurse, Sasuke spoke quickly, from base 7. Youll be wiring them
what?
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The mans face had abruptly slackened, old eyes cloudy with age and something
like pity.
Base 7? he repeated slowly. Sasuke nodded jerkily, a quiet horror already
growing inside of him.
It was justit just got hit, the officer said quietly. The whole place is just a
cigarette scar on the map, kid. After a moment, he clapped Sasukes arm as if in
apology.
Sasukes head was full of white noise, as everything carefully faded into the
distanceall of it held carefully apart from that unmanageable reality.
The medals fell from Sasukes hand, clinking together like they were weeping.
So the officer prompted the suddenly hollow young man, Wherere we
sending you?
Sasuke continued to stare off into space, as though he hadnt heard the question.
Finally, he turned. What?
Wheres your home? The officer sighed.
Sasuke shook his head slightly, turned silently, his medals glinting abandoned in
the dirt, a perfect twenty.
Gone.
***
He waited for two days for her to miraculously surviveand then went in to
identify her body. His shoulders twitched, dog tags clattering. That was her. That was
Sakura, cold and dead, her wings ripped off for the autopsy, still on the table.
When he stepped outside, people were screaming. It took him a second to realize
that it wasnt out of fear
It was raining.
Sasuke tilted his face back up to the sky that was finally merciful, water
peppering his face with tears. He licked his lipsand suddenly realized what Sakuras
kisses had tasted like.
Quietly, he broke.
***
It is easy to become a war hero when you arent afraid of dying.
***
Sometimes the reporters came to him, shoving microphones underneath their
saviors nose and jabbering in high, fluttering voices, Do you ever have trouble sleeping
at night?
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No.
Do you know what youll do in the future?
No.
Do you have any war buddies you keep in touch with?
No.
Are you happy, Mr. Uchiha? Now that all of this is over?
Sasuke hesitated a second too long, then looked straight at the camera, his voice
steady.
Yes. Im very happy.
If you say something enough times, it might come true.
***
It almost never stopped raining nowflooding the barren earth, threatening the
world in a different way. Sasuke stood on the street corner as it beat down on him, eyes
closed and skin as cold as marble as he leaned into the rain.
The Endymion Effect
a. Time: 0 (reference point)
In what would traditionally be considered the cockpit, there was a skylight that
showed the sky as it would have appeared on terra firma. It was a pathetic excuse of a
night light, a spacemans version of Blankie or Teddy, meant to give comfort to the team
of engineers manning the cabin. Personally, hed prefer something less delusional, as no
way in hell could anybody mistake it for a real window.
They were seated at the heart of the gargantuan ship, an amalgam of carbon and
alloys, specifically designed over decades to withstand extremes in pressure and
temperature. No translucent material had such properties, even in these times, and
nobody would want to see outside, anyway, no one who knew what it looked like in
actuality. None of the constellations would look familiar, would slowly and continually
change as the craft drifted aimlessly about the distant arms of the galaxy.
For all of eternity, had a pompous, fatalistic tone to it that would easily turn
off a modern-minded listener, but it was a quite feasible time frame to their exile, no
thanks to the highly-developed, compulsively-paranoid technologies of his mother
civilization. A black hole or an ill-timed supernova might be their only hope for a swift
demise, but see, he wasnt holding his breath for either.
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Inevitably, he found his eyes drifting to the other remaining member of the
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Sustenance Team. There was something irritatingly waiflike about her as she puttered on
one of the Fat Ladys interfacing panels. A mere gosling tinkering with complicated
machines beyond her ken, her white lab coat and her cheap plastic-rimmed spectacles
were props to the laughable cosplay. Only . . . that was not so, and mocking her attire,
however uncongenial with her physical features, did not alter reality.
He still didnt know why she agreed to take on the job. He had never found it
appropriate to ask her and probably never would. She was not the type of person
assigned to this sort of project, not with her background and history, not with her rosy
idealism and intuitive discernment. Then again, neither was he, albeit for different
reasons.
Have you eaten yet?
Her voice creaked like an old chair, one of those wooden ones gathering dust in
the ADL common room, antiques that were specifically chosen to soften the spareness of
the ship. It felt strangely foreign to hear a human voice amidst the constant hum of the
machines that controlled their environmental conditions. If he allowed himself to forget
the mechanisms that made the illusion possible, they could easily be in any temperate
territory on their home base Daru, fifth planet of the red subgiant Tala.
Your last meal was at least a day ago, she said absently, frowning at the
colorful graph pulled up in front of her.
It took a while for his retort to come, and when it did, it sounded too much like a
sigh for his comfort. Sitting around and doing nothing had obviously dulled his tongue,
and they both knew it. Not even the fact that she wouldnt have the guts to point that out
to him made it less annoying. One mention of his being benign and agreeable, any
emotional froufrou like that, and he would automatically be anything but.
She was, of course, confident about ferreting out the currents of his delicate
temper. She would make every effort to keep their interactions calm and civil, believing
he would likely ignore her. He let her think what she wanted to think, not due to some
perverse enjoyment of busting her bubble at the worst moment.
That was usually just incidental.
Ive been worrying these past few days. That wasnt newshe was eternally
worried about one thing or another, be it the oxygen saturation in the combs or the
hydrogen levels in the fuel cells. It never failed to amuse him, however, when she
referenced time to the Darudin rotation period. Sneering, he closed his eyes against her
now still figure. Im not anymore, she continued. I think Im actually relieved.
He did not answer. He knew she wasnt expecting any, and he was in a mild
enough mood to give her what she expected right now. She continued to speak, her voice
soft, smoothing into the croon of a mother pacifying an infant. He let her voice wash over
him, filtering the words and allowing these to dissipate unprocessed throughout the rest
of the chamber.
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. . . About the last planet being a negative. I have to admit, when I received
evidence of water on the extensive polar icecaps of Nu-768, I was ecstatic. I was happy,
alive, those days the probes were streaming data. Afterwards. . . I really didnt think I
could bear it, no matter how many times I went over the data in retrospect, reasoning to
myself that I should have immediately identified the planet as inhospitable after the first
few soil and atmospheric samples.
He felt rather than heard her approach, felt the faint movement of air as she
neared and sat beside him. She raised a hand, maybe to run it across his forehead, maybe
through his dark hair. She didnt, but he could sense her skin hovering close, a niggling
itch on his forehead. The pads of her fingers would be rough, dry and peeling from the
continual hand-washing that was part of her job. She smelled of antiseptic and of the
light, flowery smell effusing from her unusual pink hair.
I had an epiphany, she said.
He could tell she was prefacing a long and winding monologue.
In contrast to the conclusions Ive reached in most of our previous debates, I do
care what you think and believe. Maybe, its not such a surprising development,
considering that indifferent stance you insist on takno, you simply live and effuse like
contagion, I guess. Its so intrinsically foreign to my system. I refuse to even consider the
reality that somebody, someone, truly believes our species irrevocably damned. And that
I, possibly, am starting to share your fatalistic views. . .
It threw me into such a black despair, to such depths Ive never fathomed
existed. Ironically, it came with a sliver of hope that wouldnt disappear despite the worst
scenarios my mind would come up with. It was such an irritating, unbearable thing, that
hope, that I had a sudden, humbling insight on how much you must hate me.
But you. . . a contradiction. . . The signs were very subtle. If I havent been
exposed to your company for this long, Id have missed it. Exempli gratia, your little
walks on the forecastle every other day, you didnt take at all this week. Your meticulous
charting of the constellations visible from the stern you do weekly is overdue. I opened
the last ration of ratatouille the 2
nd
Officer left for us and you didnt as much as blink.
You loved Choujis cooking! I cant believe you would miss it for anything.
The woman has officially gone bat-shit crazy.
He didnt take his walks because he didnt have time, having to fill in the
functions of three other people. He didnt update the starcharts because theyve
practically slowed to a crawlthere was nothing to update. He hated the 2
nd
Officers
overly-spiced cooking, but he was the only one who could prepare their very rare
vegetables without completely sapping them of nutrients. And there was no conceivable
reason why he would want to eat three meals on each of her Darudin day when he wasnt
doing anything that required that much energy.
Youre disappointed Nu-768 is non-viable, she said, almost bubbling with a
triumph he had not seen in her eyes for years. Despite your obnoxious declaration that
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this mission is the greatest exercise of futility our species has and would ever launch,
despite you calling it a very expensive and prolonged euthanasia, you do have hope.
The Sasuke Uchiha harboring hope, however minimal, is nothing short of
cataclysmic. I cant help it! Its so maddeningly uplifting that I couldnt sleep all night.
And this morning? I was singing on my way to DeconI havent done that in years! Its
a little mean, I realize, rejoicing over your misery, but. . . I suppose, thanks are in order.
So, sincerely
He opened his eyes to stare at her, to relay to her how ridiculous he thought her
little soliloquy.
(En face.)
She was very near him, the tips of their noses nearly touching. This close, the
mysticism of her eternal youth was exposed for the fraud it wasshe aged, just like any
of her species, destined to wither away into husk, a corruption of her beginning. The
corners of her eyes crawled with lines, crows claws digging deep into her pale flesh. Her
lids were puffy, either from lack of sleep or from crying, likely both.
(They were the color of the ocean when struck by a shaft of sunlight and
glowing with a sedate brilliance. The surrounding white widened as she stared back,
surprised, the tiny capillaries standing out like red lightning on a preternaturally white
sky. Her eyes were like the storms reproducible in primary school learning labs,
contained but calamitous when unleashed.)
Her fingers dug deep into his forearm, mirroring the tightening of his grip on her
upper arms. He had lunged at her, serpentine in speed and intent. She was so headstrong,
so rational, that maybe it would take a sudden stab of adrenaline to get her back to her
senses.
Sasu!
This is exactly that sort of idealistic swill that landed you this dead-end job, he
snarled. Congratulations, but I cant say I see that as an asset.
Her face blanked, stilleda deer caught unaware or a great cat poised to strike,
he could never tell. It doused his sudden fury, the burning recoil granting him clarity. He
relinquished her arms and smirked, not missing a single beat even through the
millisecond of confusion that came with the realization he was trying to physically break
the frail-looking woman in front of him. Appearances could be deceiving. She would
fight him tooth and nail, using whatever resentments she bore himshe would have more
than ample ammunition. An average human being could and would remember any
number of grievances dealt against him in his lifetime. What more of a woman with her
cerebral capacity?
If youd get off your high horse, Miss Psychotherapist, he continued, passing
off his outburst as an ill-chosen joke. Im actually hungry right now. So if you dont
mind my pessimistic company. . .
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Of course not, she said smoothly, not a drop of emotion betrayed in her tone.
The Fat Lady made us coq au vin.
She stood up, removing her lab coat to reveal their standard-issue jump suits.
Shall we go?
He was as much a fool as she was.
b. Time: - 5.32x10^7 seconds (2 years and 93 Darudin days ago)
The standard-issue jump suits were made of a synthetic plastic that was pretty
close to indestructible, despite its being skintight, flimsy, and unnervingly gelatinous to
touch. It was lined with good-old bacteriostatic cotton that allowed for comfort and less
frequent washing, the common kind still mass-produced in the extant Darudin human
sanctuaries. She was rather fond of its salmon tint, but only when she wasnt the one
sporting it. The color was horrendous against her pale pink hair, which made her hate
seeing herself on mirrors, a penchant she thought she had outgrown years ago.
These days saw her less and less attired officially. If there was one condition the
uniform was not designed to adapt to, it was her current one. It would have made her look
like a stuffed crab escaping from someones dinner plate, among other things.
She turned thirty-three last week, about a third through the average life span of
her species. It was also the optimum age for child-bearing, or so it was according to the
consensus reached by the scientific community and the ethico-moral synod in her
birthplace. Of course, her birthplace hasnt been around for a while now. Hamlet N37
was a mining outpost on one of Darus two moons, Nanase, which was abandoned after a
sudden increase of seismic activity on its dusty surface. Afterwards, she spent most of her
teenage years in one of the few conglomerations of human settlement in Daru, the sole
megalopolis left intact, a vast honeycomb of metal and concrete that spread thousands of
kilometers underground.
Her mothers simple dusters were relics of her childhood. They were of linen
woven and spun by hand from flax harvested from Hamlet N37's greenhouses. Her father,
in his spare time, had salvaged an antique fabric-dyeing machine and hooked it up to her
mothers workstation, who surprisingly did manage to finish several sewing projects in
her free time. These dresses had the vibrant reds and purples, lime greens and tangerines
that were characteristic of tropical Darudin housecoats. Instead of the typical floral print,
on the one-piece dresses bloomed fractals, limited but beautiful models produced from
complicated equations. It perfectly encapsulated her family life; they were all highly
involved with frontier science, but at heart, remained homey and uncomplicated. The
dusters were bequeathed to her before she left Daru for the mission. They were special
items she specifically had to ask permission to carry onboard.
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The one she had on was worn and wrinkled, airy and cool against her skin. It
was the only plain one she had, bleach-washed into a crisp white. She had only started to
show, but the drape and fall of the dress accentuated her curves, rendering her an
interesting mix of vulnerability and matronly depthor so her senior said, a kindly
biophysicist in his sixties, whose lost dream was to become a deep-sea fisherman/poet.
She did feel young and womanly, she supposed, a departure from the sexless, indomitable
authority her salmon uniform carried.
Such freedom was not meant to last. Her eight hours ticked by, and she would
need at least five of those spent on sleep to function optimally during her shift. She went
back to her reading, a wonderfully languid and unhurried book written in a cheerful,
engaging voice. It was a welcomed reprieve from the dry, neutral tone of the academe she
used on her copious notes or the terse, shortened jargon she used to communicate with
the ship and her crew.
En face, she read, cradling the book on her thighs to be able to copy the models
position on the illustration.
This enables the mother and child to bond, allowing close, face-to-face
contact, she read aloud, a tactic she often used as a student, twenty years ago.
Newborns are not yet able to focus well, but it is a persons face that can stimulate them
the most. This early, they start to learn the sight, sounds, and smells of their mother.
Tongue peeping from her slightly open lips, she positioned her arms before her,
carefully supporting the head and neck of the imaginary babe she carried. At the corner of
one eye, she noticed the ubiquitous salmon standing in front of her, but she did not drop
her hands, even as she turned to address her silent audience.
Ah, youre here, she said enthusiastically. Come sit and practice with me.
Fathers need to bond with their babies, too, dont they? If we have to do even that in
shifts, we should have equal capacity for it. Constancy and stability is highly important in
a childs psychosocial development, after all.
Aa, was all he said, and she had to content herself with this. Sakura had a
short stint as a commanding officer when she was younger, but it was long enough for
her to become used to having her orders repeated back and followed explicitly. Of course,
this was a different situation: he wasnt subordinate to her. Still, she expected his utmost
cooperation. She could concede the process as being part of the job, but the end-product
would not be, was not, simply that. She did not know if her partner agreed to this view,
but she was assured by his reputation and work ethics that he would never do anything
half-baked.
Sasuke Uchiha was, for all intents and purpose, her mate. They were assigned as
a unit to the ship Freja (or Fat Lady, as the crew affectionately called her) with the
knowledge that they would be compelled to procreate eventually, as scheduled; they were
briefed together, for their fields of expertise supplemented each other well, as did the
permutations offered by their genetic material. He accepted it stoically, immediately,
while it took Sakura days of reflection before she could agree to the condition, the
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packaged deal. Eventually, she figured it was one way to experience a refreshingly
normal stage in life ordinary women went through, one that she would probably only
keep putting off. No matter the circumstances. . .
She suspected such a packaged deal would inspire deep disapproval from the
ethico-moral synod that deeply impacted her childhood. However, as her mission partner
had pointed out once, they now existed beyond the scope of any Darudin judiciary body.
Darudin laws and values no longer completely apply to them. She wasnt sure she was
prepared to accept this belief as yet, but it was something she tacked to the back of her
mind, something to fall upon should her morals be challengedand be defeatedby dire
circumstances.
Its done, he told her.
At first, she thought he was referring to the parenting book, that he had
somehow finished reading it during his last break. His expression was unreadable. It
wiped away the playful retort forming in her mind, as swiftly as it did away with her
smile. She knew exactly what he meant.
This was done without my consent.
It wasnt yours to give.
It wasnt done with my blessing, either.
But it was with your knowledge.
So it was, she conceded unhappily. Was he comfortable?
He thought the question irrelevant. There was barely a flicker of change on his
face, but she had learned the nuances of his mood to be able to decipher his expressions.
The query was impossible to answer, so there really was no point asking it.
Was it quick? she asked instead.
If the expert had conducted the procedure, it might have ran faster.
In this case, my expertise is close to nil. I have never induced hibernation. My
job is to monitor the physical well-being of our passengers and my training was limited to
this. I wasnt there when all these people began their sleep.
The Fat Lady has a detailed tutorial in her memory.
As with everything, Im sure.
For one so versed in the mysteries of the Endymion Effect, youre not too keen
on exploiting its properties. Arent you one of the people who made such a technology
even possible?
Has anybody ever faulted the Titan Prometheus for the millennia of wars and
strife that made use of his heavenly gift? she murmured, referring to an obscure
mythological figure. I cant police what they make of the knowledge I contribute.
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If you really thought such knowledge had a potential to become dangerous, you
should have controlled its dissemination more rigidly.
Rigid control was something Sasuke Uchiha had grown up with, that much she
could tell from his hometown. He hailed from the underwater city of Dis, a former
military instillation from decades before the entirety of Daru was brought to a central
governance. Subject of countless sociologic case studies, its citizens lives were
regimented out of necessity. Their every action was subject to strict standards, as if the
citys existence was as tenuous as a bubbles.
And it was! Virtually everything was centered upon the upkeep of the city: the
close nurturing of the semi-organic membrane that kept out the sea water, the precise
monitoring of the artificial atmosphere that served as roof against all the weight of the
ocean, the exacting rations of all resources (even oxygen consumption, which is why
everyone followed a strict schedule of daily activities). It was the ascetic discipline of
these myrmidons that kept Dis in existence for almost a century, and when a single
element fell out of line, the entire city disappeared overnight. Or so went the story.
Sasuke, one of the few survivors, never indulged her with details and likely never would.
Even if you cant police it, he continued. Dont you have some influence
over the bureaucratic red tape involved in scientific publication? After all, doesnt
discovery, in many ways, confer ownership?
She shivered at his undecipherable expression. It was in unexpected moments
like this that he showed a startlingly possessive side. It needled a complicated knot of
emotion in her gut, something she was not prepared to explore as yet. She turned away to
avoid his eyes.
It doesnt really matter, if Im the only one who recognizes that ownership,
she said. You know as well I do. We are mere slaves to our own intellect and curiosity.
It is the act of discovery that entices us, not the power that lies behind controlling its
spread.
Your naivete speaking, as usual.
Perhaps.
They were quiet. He continued undressing and changed into more loose-fitting
garments, unembarrassed, unperturbed by her presence. She had seen his wiry body
unclothed a number of times before. He wasnt unpleasant to look at, but she averted her
eyes politely.
What is it about the process that makes you disapprove?" he asked as he
stretched on the wooden-framed bed. "You championed this cause in every pointless
discussion we've had about the morality of this mission."
At another time, she would have brushed his question aside with an equally
pointed retort, pointing out that she was merely anxious for their friend, not necessarily
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doubtful of the process. But see, she was feeling doubtful, and also, strangely, rawly
honest.
"Where do I start?" she asked quietly.
"Your usual obnoxious correction whenever anybody calls it, 'hibernation,'
might be significant."
"That 'hibernation' is a misnomer?" She felt unexpectedly vulnerable as she
admitted this. "But isn't it? It's not the same as bears hibernating through winter, for
example."
"You don't like the other euphemism, either."
"I suppose, 'frozen,' may be more appropriate." She shrugged. "It's still an
oversimplification and not entirely accurate. I would still go by Induction, a safe,
minimally derivative term."
The general consensus was that matter moved through both space and time;
there were thousands of years worth of academic bickering over the niceties and nuances
of physical rules that governed this, many of which remain unresolved. The Endymion
Effect, as currently understood, appeared to violate many long-standing theories
developed by their civilization.
The Fat Lady's passengers were "frozen," in the sense that their movement
through time has been suspended, or at least, slowed to a near zero. They were also
"frozen," because all of their movement has ceased, down to the subatomic level. One
concrete explanation used widely to disseminate the concept to the public was, if it
were possible to take these peoples temperature, it would come out as the absolute zero
because there was absolutely no change, no movement of energy. . .
Which was, simply put, impossible.
"Imagine," she continued. "How can there be a state so absolute that everything
down to the quarks that make up the atoms of your body are simply suspended and
unmoving, without disintegrating into nothingness? Never mind the gazillion postulates it
violates! How can you call something, something, without referring to a known syntax?
How can you call this organic matter livingor for that matter, matter!when every
biologic process, every chemical reaction, every electromagnetic bond, is defined by
interactions in multiple levels, defined by motion. What then are those intangibles
supposedly frozen in the combs? What then in actuality exists?"
"What is actuality?" he returned, philosophical.
"Indeed. Is a life suspended a life at all? That our technological capabilities
could reach this zenith is. . . disturbing. Like standing at a precipice. Like staring down
oblivion."
"They've brought someone back."
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"Yes, but what if that was by mere chance? What are the long-term
consequences? Awaking from the Endymion Effect. . . what are the chances that all of
your components would simply just continue doing whatever it was doing before they
halted? The whole is greater than its partsit has been drilled into our systems since
birth. A wrong cell undergoing apoptosis, the wrong hydrogen bond breaking, couldn't
they lead to something disastrous, couldn't they change something intrinsic, something
fundamental to one's being? There are so many things that could go wrong. Could you
truly say the test subject survived the procedure unaltered? How would you back that
claim? What will be your basis?"
She paused, breathless from her tirade. He stared at her for what felt like an
hour. Really, it was mere seconds before his scrutinizing look turned into a sneer.
"If you really believe those hypothetical screw-ups you enjoy making up in your
free time, you'd have gone to the 'combs to physically restrain old Sar before he
underwent Induction."
She was silent, digesting his accusation and measuring its truth against her soul.
"Do you really like hearing your voice that much?" he asked rather snidely. "Or
is it mine you hanker for?"
"Between the two of us, we might discern a voice of reason amidst this hellish
din," she quoted from the popular, cataclysmic manifesto of fifty years ago that began the
end of their world yet again. "Please, I'm not trying to pick a fight, Sasuke. I just want to
have another viewpoint."
"I'll give you a viewpoint: the scenarios posited by your genius mind not
withstanding, you want to believe the Endymion Effect. You want to believe that all these
people we've been carting around deep space would wake up one day and step into a
Utopian world, whole and unchanged. Why should I 'agree' with your dark portents, just
so you could disagree with me and dissuade yourself of your own fears? I'm not going to
waste my breath on a settled argument."
She sighed at his mocking tone. She stood up from her recliner, her knees
buckling as blood circulation reestablished itself on her numbing legs. Shelving her book,
she meandered hesitantly towards the bed, smoothing imaginary creases on her dress.
"You'll never be able to one-up me in these mind games," he finished, "so quit
while you're ahead."
"Of course, I don't believe it," she whispered, eyes stark and wandering the
rough, plain bedspread of the antique bed. "Otherwise, we're just lugging around corpses,
biding our time till death.
Do you know, she continued. They named the phenomenon after a
mythological astronomer, who was loved by the moon goddess. He asked for agelessness
and immortality from the king of the gods, and was granted eternal sleep. Sweet
Endymion, forever in peaceful repose.
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Her voice died into a bleak silence, the same kind, she realized, that has always
and pervasively been. When she was about to take her leave, however, to forgo sleep and
immerse herself in her routines, he spoke.
"I wont waste my breath on mind games," he repeated. "But I'm willing to put it
to other use."
She looked at him blankly, knowing he was telling her something but unable to
process his words to divulge a half-hidden meaning.
His dark eyes rolled ever-so-slightly.
"Will you lie with me?" he asked, blunt.
Her unwilling response was swift and violent; she felt the familiar flush raze her
entire body in seconds, reflected by his knowing expression. It wasn't the first time he
asked, though he didn't usually use words. He always initiated the act, lazily and
deliberately coaxing her with his hands, lips, pausing every so often as if waiting for her
to balk. She had too much pride and thus never backed down from his challenges, even in
these.
(This was another thing that convinced her that Sasuke Uchiha would do a
sterling job as father of her child: he refused the less intimate, less embarrassing
alternatives, wanting the conception to be done the "natural" way. There was something
compelling about the way he seemed to treat conception as something sacred, about
discovering there were things he did hold above his cold, seemingly universal disdain of
everything. And despite the mocking, superior attitude he sported with everyone,
including her, he was always, always, considerate when it came to her physical comfort,
as if it was instinct that necessitated he care for her.
It surprised her how much he threw into giving her pleasure. Passion, he most
certainly did not lack. It was contained, constricted, rigidly controlled and channeled
however it could serve him. Given his devotion to excellence, she supposed it shouldnt
be surprising.
Even if it was a little saddening.)
It was not an unpleasant thing to endure, so she agreed and abandoned her
salmon-colored uniform for a few more hours.
c. Time: -4.46x10^7 seconds (1 year and 262 Darudin days ago)
About 10,000 years ago, the ancients believed that the universe was structured
like a good vegetable stew, with the planets and stars suspended in a medium called
ether, the way turnips and potatoes were in a tureen of simmering broth. Later, the
concept of ether was replaced by vacuum. Of course, Naught was the preferred term of
popular anarchist movements that characterized the previous century. There was a fierce
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backlash against deep space exploration and other technological milestones of their
multi-fold, millennia-old civilization. At its worst, the Darudins sporadic rebellions
against their intricately structured, highly specialized lives have degraded to unbridled
mass hysteria.
It started1,000 years ago. Deep space exploration had gained a momentum that
seemingly hurled humanity headlong unto avenues that strained mankinds resilience and
adaptability. Whether to the depths of damnation or the pinnacle of self-actualization,
their most brilliant minds teetered on the brink of madness in their quest to reach the
stars, to spread the Darudin race to all life-supporting planets in the universe.
Tala, the magnificent white star that was their sun, was deemed precious enough
to sacrifice for an entire species dream. Since they could not duplicate the power of Tala,
they instead developed a way to steal it, in keeping with the method of the god of
innovation. Prometheus, the mythology went, stole fire from the heavens and gave it as
gift to man, forever sundering its blood from the fate of the other beasts.
Massive ships embarked for the distant reaches of the galaxy, powered by the
fusion of the sun. They were arks that carried entire cities, self-supporting and self-
sustaining, had the capacity to grow their population exponentially, when the time came
to settle on a new planet. But there was only so much they could steal from Tala. She was
dying, suddenly and obviously, a lingering ember. No one knew how long she would
burn before fading awayor worse, exploding. As for those ship-colonies, they were
never heard from again.
Until 273 years ago.
Communication came, claiming to come from an expedition team, one of the
firsts that preceded the lost ship-colonies. The messages came as a series of verbal
recordings sent as compressed pulses of radio waves. Their reported position was at least
halfway across the galaxy and the time stamp given was the 54
th
solstice in the Virgins
sphere, exactly 539 years ago. The recipients were not confined to the skeptical experts
constantly watching the nightly skies in their labs and space stations. The messages were
heard in nearly every media device used by the general populace.
And the voice of the Singularity shattered the cloud of petty preoccupations that
immersed our Sentience in the mundane, meaningless Subsistence.
There was another Tala-like star, the messages claimed, another Daru-like
planet, in another solar system. Centuries of cataclysmic climate changes and overt
tectonic shifting have drastically altered the face of Daru, as well as the living creatures
that populated it. Humanity survived, endured; they did this well, as always. But there
was a note of hysteria that echoed in the everyday life of humans, even generations after
their world nearly ended, even after the individual people forgot. It took only those voices
from the sky for the Darudins to snap, and the note of despair became a lingering scream.
Amidst the various revolts and social upheavals caused by the messages, some
of the sturdier, surviving governments continued to explore the possibilities beneath the
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cryptic messages that claim visions of an apocalyptic end to the Talan solar system. The
Darudins needed to transplant their entire civilization, urged the messages, before Tala
devours the whole planetary system. More importantly, other manned expeditions
confirmed indirectly the existence of what the messages called currents, tracks that
enabled one to travel to distances otherwise impossible to reach via a straight line over a
manageable period of time, even by near-lightspeed. There were many attempts to
quantify and qualify these so-called currents, but the results never added up to an answer.
The general belief was that they were neither matter or energy. They called it Aether.
Without direct evidence of the currents existence, it took decades of
observation before scientists could chart possible areas with high concentration of Aether,
places that humans could travel to using existing spacecrafts. About seven manned
expeditions left over a span of four decades and not a single one returned. Project
Orpheus was abandoned for a while and was only revisited lately when a lowly weapons
physicist made a strange breakthrough, the infamous Endymion Effect.
One of the ships that was part of the projects maiden voyage was Freja. Its
mission, as were its previous incarnations, was to settle in a new hospitable planet, with
conditions similar enough to Darudin ones that most of her species could adapt and
thrive. The difference, of course, was that while the first ship-colonies were launched for
an aggressive expansion, Freja and her ilk were a last hope for survival.
Freja carried fifteen thousand individuals, human beings and about three
hundred species of other domesticated life forms. They were all kept in a suspended state
that slowed their aging to a minuscule crawl. The five thousand, four hundred, and
seventy-six people were all volunteers, willing participants in a voyage to nowhere. None
of them expected to go back home, and only a very few really expected to see the
promised Utopia. It was a leap of faith, a lesser of two evils. The passengers would wait
for as long as their ship would endure.
The alternative was to wait in Daru for the eventual death of Tala.
The crew members, of course, were more pragmatic. Called the Sustenance
Team, they lived as in any other hostile settlement they have before, mostly in the Talan
solar system, previous attempts to outlive the dying sun for as long as they could. They
followed strict protocols, similar to those they used to survive in far-flung space stations.
If they had strong sentiments about Project Orpheus, they kept it to themselves or their
closest colleagues.
An average of seventy people per team, they were expected to produce their own
food, recycle various wastes, sustain the ship and her passengers, and expand the human
knowledge base. They were also to replenish their ranks, passing down their particular
expertise to their offspring. Worse comes to worst, there were already designated experts
to awaken from the so-called Endymion Effect.
Of course, the corollary also existed: should a crew member wish to retire, there
was a way of inducing the Effect. In fact, the process had already been tried and tested.
Old Sar was biophysicist of great renown, formerly based on a now-abandoned
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megapolis in the southern pole of Daru. This was his seventh deep space mission, and he
was considered by many an expert on what little was known about the currents. His
observations during the trip had led him to believe that these currents may be likened to
long spidery fissures in the space-time continuum, perhaps encroachments from parallel
universes. Old Sar retired before he had fully developed his theories on these space-time
fissures. He was diagnosed with malignant tumors in the white matter deep in his brain
that would ordinarily be possible to treat. Unfortunately, they did not have the specialized
surgical team required to treat him. His only hope was to undergo Induction, and perhaps
one day, he would awaken to a world capable of curing him.
The hibernation of Hiruzen Sarutobi was only the first in the ship Freja. Within
three months, twenty-seven other members of the Sustenance Team opted to undergo the
Induction. Unlike in the famed biophysicists case, the following ones werent
necessitated by health reasons. If any illnesses were at all involved, they were of the
heart.
It was the staff captain, Kabuto Yakushi, who performed the Inductions, first
with Old Sar, then with the following staff members. Old Sars brilliant protege Sakura
Haruno would have been the most qualified operator, but she had refused, supposedly for
health reasons. Dr. Yakushi followed the detailed module Old Sar himself created so that
essentially anybody could induce the Endymion Effect.
Of course, when Dr. Yakushi himself decided to undergo the procedure
(ostensibly, to gather empirical data himself) Sakura Haruno was forced by her own
conscience to undertake the responsibility. The ships chief engineer disapproved of this,
as Sakura was well within the eight month of her pregnancy at that point and was not the
best person to undergo such stress. Evidently, he didnt express this opinion empathically
enough. In fact, his mate interpreted his cryptic responses as icy indifference.
Sakura followed the usual procedure. Majority of the ships baggage was
naturally in its hull, and majority of the ships baggage consisted of people. The combs
were only accessible via the access pod in the Main Mast, the massive supporting pillar
around which most of the Sustenance Teams living spaces were built around.
Descending into the bowels of the ship required several preparations, including
decontamination. The Decon cabin was the last room before entering the combs. The
combs, as the staff called it, was the meticulously crafted structure that held the
thousands of people suspended in the Endymion Effect. It consisted seventy percent of
Frejas main body.
Each hibernating individual was housed in a hexagonal prism, not unlike the
ornamental fish tanks common in Darudin domiciles. Because the human body was not
entirely understood in this suspended state, conditions inside the prisms where made
optimum, e.g. its temperature, air pressure, oxygen level were all supportive of life. . .
None of these seemed to affect the low-energy state of the subject. It was as if an
unquantifiable layer of vacuum existed around them all, was what Dr. Yakushi said, even
as he prepared to become one of them.
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In the Decon cabin, their entire bodies were coated by a gelatinous substance
that provided, theoretically, additional shielding in case of Aether spillagetheoretically,
because spillage had never actually happened. The slither of Aether to which the bottom
of the ship opened to had always been kept in place by powerful electromagnets and
ionized gases. (The same technology was applied to the maintenance of cabin pressure, of
gravitational and atmospheric conditions similar to that in Daru, etc.)
The Decon portal opened to a tubular cavity, stretching as far as the human eye
could see, its diameter a mere hundred feet. The landing broke off into two narrow
walkways, which Sakura traversed when doing her daily inspection of the combs. A
drop was in between these hallways, quickly disappearing into a dark void. There was no
way of telling whether the bottom of the ship was ajar to let Aether in, not with mere
senses. The combs, outside the little hexagonal prisms, were kept cool and minimally lit.
Enough phosphorescence came from the prisms to enable safe passage through the
walkways.
Dr Yakushi and Major General Haruno stopped just a few strides away from the
Decon portal. They stepped up a dais, inches away from plunging into that black abyss.
Sakura swayed with sudden vertigo and was carefully steadied by her companion.
The Sustenance Team had always been casual when conversing with the ship
it coined the nickname Fat Lady. The ensuing procedure was neither light or routine,
however. Sakuras manner was formal and detached, while her voice only reached the
barest of whispers.
Freja, please prepare for Induction.
Why should I follow you, Sakura Haruno? came the automated prompt,
stylized with ominous gravity.
Because suicide missions arent accomplished by mere death, she replied,
completing the verification process. We reach for light; it is tangible through will.
The dais lifted, separating from the rest of the landing, while the two walkways
parted and pressed against the walls of prisms on their either side. The subdued light
emanating from the transparent chambers flickered, shut, and came back even dimmer.
They exchanged a few words, then he fell back into the darkness. Sakura
watched even though she couldnt see how his body would flow along the darkened
trench that ran from the ships bow, where they were, to the stern. In a bit, there would be
another occupied prism, there would be Dr. Kabuto Yakushi in it, sleeping.
The poignant moment was short-lived. An inexorable force gutted the cavity, a
fierce squall slipping through quickly-closing doors, a tongue of flame reaching through
an antique furnaces lips. It was the same force that knocked the ship off its course,
slamming it against an asteroid floating by. The massive piece of rock and metal
shattered into several pieces, while the ship bounced off it, outwardly unscathed. It
hurtled several million miles before being pulled to orbit around an inhospitable gas giant
that tottered about the fringes of a two-star system.
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Survivors would later theorize that a supernova in another part of the universe
sent raw energy through the currents, the effect similar to a live wire receiving an
upsurge of electricity. Explanations, however, were hard to come by at time of the
incident, and would have been unbearably, cursedly useless.
Sakura Haruno blacked out when the unseen energy swept her from where she
stood, but it wasnt because of the forces that nearly tore her to pieces.
She screamed.
Choked.
She jolted back to her senses at the sickening jerk of intense gravitation, Frejas
protective mechanism that pulled her flat against the nearest wall to keep her from
bouncing around and damaging the insides of the near-invincible ship. When the ship
relinquished her, the horrendous sound of ripping assailed her ears, pushing her down
onto the floor this time.
It wasnt the fusion rockets, she reasoned as soon as she could reason around the
petrifying terror, the shock of her colleagues demise. None of them would be alive if the
massive reactor vessels were somehow damaged. Both vessels flanked the ship, separated
only by a few feet, where they hovered. They housed and directed the nuclear fusions that
propelled the ship when it wasnt sailing on the currents. Any tiny damage and they
would have gone up in a ball of flame, a short-lived, button-hole of a sun that would
leave behind a cooling husk a hundred seconds later.
Freja! she demanded.
Damage to the starboard wing. Cephalad fracture in progress.
The ship was ripping itself apart to keep the internal damage from spreading. It
was in the process of removing its wings, where most of the laboratories, the food-
growing vivariums, and storage units were housed.
Bilateral fracture completed.
The ship had already relinquished the fusion rockets.
Northeastern and eastern decks are compromised.
A fourth of the observatory was in danger. Their living spaces were near that
area. What if
Main Mast is compromised.
Central Dome is compromised.
Initiating Cauda-sagittal fractures.
No! Sakura screamed. Belay that!
Acknowledging Team Members presence within fracture lines. Fifteen minute
delay to allow evacuation. Countdown initiated.
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Belay Sagital fracture!
Negative. Manual interfacing required for override of Salvaging System.
The Cauda-sagittal fracture would leave the ship with only, in essence, part of
its thorax: the cockpit, the Activities of Daily Living quarters, the formidably-fortified
computer that controlledthat wasFreja, back-up fuel cells, and the solar sails. All of
its baggage would have been relinquished, allowed to float deep into the recesses of
space, till they were found or destroyed.
All of them.
Eleven other people had belayed the Cauda-sagittal fracture around the same
time. Eight of them knew the locations to establish manual interfacing. Only three had the
physical means to access those places. Only one was able to reach the Main Mast. She
climbed the three-story height via the ladder fixed against the northern wall of the hull. It
connected to the Main Mast through several bridge ladders.
Dr. Shizune arrived in the combs in time to see Chief Engineer Sasuke Uchiha
call out instructions as he climbed down the immense pillar called the Main Mast, trying
to reach his mates side via a different route. He commanded her to wait for him. She
started going back down via the Main Mast, anyway, telling her mate who was meters
above her that the both of them would not fit in the small alcove that housed the
interfacing panel.
Cauda-sagittal fracture terminated.
On her way down the Main Mast, Sakura Haruno missed her footing and fell.
Ordinarily, the ships automatic response would have been to suspend gravity inside the
combs and to cushion her fall with several puffs of air. The override, however, was
general, and froze Freja from initiating programmed responses for six minutes and
fourteen seconds. Well before that time frame ended, Sakura had hit the dais back first,
bounced, and flopped onto her belly.
She fractured most of her lumbar spine and her pelvis in three places. She also
lacerated her liver and ruptured her uterus. Dr. Shizune attempted a caesarian section in
the asceptic Decon chamber, spattering the pristine silver walls with her patients blood.
Sakura begged to be hibernated but the Chief Engineer overruled her. Whether due to Dr
Shizunes skill and acumen, Chief Uchihas mastery of Darudin technologies, or simply
fate, Sakura Haruno survived that unfortunate accident. Her child, however, did not.
The Coronal and Bilateral fractures were completed well before Sakuras
complicated surgeries were. Freja abandoned most of her damaged wings, as well as the
fusion rockets necessary for it to propel back to an Aether stream, to the currents. The
damaged parts of what remained of the ship were reparable enough to keep the ship
supportive of human life. The surviving engineers were able to staunch Frejas gaping
wounds, while Shizune and several others struggled to piece back Major General Haruno.
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63 percent of the Sustenance Team died that day. 24 percent had already opted to
hibernate even before the inexplicable incident. Another 10 percent would follow in the
next few months.
4years and 6 months after its launch, Freja, it appeared, had failed her mission
under Project Orpheus.
d. Time: 2.84 x 10^6 (34 Darudin days later)
Before the sweet arias of the courting birds, before the gentle stroke of sunlight
across her scrunched-up lids, the first sensation her mind would process was the warmth,
not quite touching her, but near enough to emanate deliciously towards her aching back.
Call her sentimental, but it was the closest she would ever be to home. The person who
provided such a pleasant feeling had no ideacouldnt care less, probably. It was a tiny,
fleeting moment of contentment, gone and lost with the next exhalation.
There were no mornings. The Fat Lady coursed ever-so-slowly to a pair of suns,
so if one defined morning as a measure of time wherein a certain place faced towards
light, then Freja would be in the midst of some daytime marathon. However, that same
light did not breach the ships walls in its visible form. The soft white-yellow ambience
that graced the room was a product of human invention, an echo of a time gone-by. In
Daru, sunlight has always been tinged a wounded orange as far as anyone could
remember.
There were no birds aboard obviously, none conscious and about the ship,
anyway. Recordings were easy to come-by in Daru. Many bird species still existed, but
they were no longer as commonplace as ones bedroom window. Non-domesticated birds
usually flew and roosted in areas restricted to humans. Domesticated birds, while not
rare, were usually silent.
There was no warm flesh behind her either. He never lay that close to her
anymore, not in years. She supposed it was something to be glad of. It was something
familiar and routine and . . . not like last night.
She rolled slightly, expecting her arm to hit another body. It didnt, instead
flopping on the mattress, which was oddly cool to touch. Usually, she woke up first. He
maximized whatever sleep he could to minimize the time he needed to co-exist with her.
Still, there were worse ways to wake up. She had woken up to varying degrees
of hell, to dreams within dreams. Urgent cries, sharp commands, the clatter of
instruments, the alarum of sensors, a sharp, incising light. . . Her mind could never piece
these fragments into a coherent scenario, into something she could pin down and analyze.
Something must have really happened, and those must have been the snatches of
memories her mind refused to let fully surface. Shizune, before she underwent Induction,
was never very detailed, not where it mattered. She was factual and blunt, would have
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listed every single stitch she placed on Sakuras body, had she asked. As to the hows and
whys, she kept mum.
That fetus has demised before I could get to you, the doctor said. I expected
you to die, truth be told. I have no idea how you managed to survive, but Im not
complaining. Of course, I had to take out your equipment. Thats where I couldnt stop
the bleeding.
Sakura had talked to her partner about it a few times. His account was even
more skeletal than their colleagues.
On your way down the Main Mast, your foot caught in one of the rungs and
you fell backwards. The general override disabled all of Frejas internal security
measures. You spent fifty-nine hours in the regeneration chamber and sixteen days in a
coma from blood loss. Dont ask me how we survived.
The only tangible proof that supported their stories were her scars (and
obviously the crew and parts of the ship that were missing). The truth was, Sakura hadnt
been too keen about finding out what happened two years ago. She had an inkling they
were all just waiting for the other person to start speaking. She never got to the point
where she absolutely had to know what they werent telling her, but that wasnt to say
she didnt lose sleep over it.
If he noticed at all, he gave no indication.
Speaking of which, she needed to make sure he had eaten at least one decent
meal the past twenty-four hours. Even though things have settled back to routine after the
disappointment of Nu-768, he still tended to forgo basic activities of daily living. A while
back, there would have been a specialist to take care of things like this. Nowadays, most
manual functions were split between the two of them. A great deal of responsibility have
been removed from the list, of course, being that only 35% of the original ships volume
remained and thus necessitated only rudimentary up-keeping.
Sakura rose from bed but left making it and changing into her uniform for later.
She merely threw on her much-abused work boots before perusing the rest of the ADL
quarters for her missing partner. From the quarters, the cockpit was easily accessible. It
would be next on her list, should the ADL fail to reveal him.
The ADL quarters were a string of small rooms belonging to the ship officers,
surrounding a main chamber that mimicked the living spaces of a typical Darudin
domicilea sitting room, an archive, a kitchen, and a sauna were among its amenities.
Nowadays, only the chief engineers room was occupied.
Sasuke rarely stayed in the common room, so it was no surprise he wasnt there.
He usually stayed in the cockpit, meticulously maintaining the various instruments that
monitored the Fat Ladys health. The other officers former rooms were rarely intruded
upon. Captain Yamato was one of the casualties that day of the accident. First officer
Asuma Sarutobi opted for Induction a few months after it, as did Second officer
Akimichi. As for the Staff Captain, Dr. Yakushi. . . ah, but it was hard to keep track of
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who went first and how. She peeked into their rooms, nonetheless, quietly closing the
doors after her, treading as little as possible into those sacrosanct places.
Sasuke wasnt in the cockpit.
Her guts twisted in quiet fear, but only for a second. He usually was in the
cockpit, but there were other places for him to go. The bridge, for one thing, that
connected the cockpit to the laboratory, was a pleasant walk that showcased a projection
of the actual skies from without. (As opposed to the fabricated one in the cockpit.) He
went there when he wished to update the star charts. He usually did avoid the combs and
the lab, but that was while she worked in those places. It would be natural for him to use
the lab, too, once in a while. Besides, he didnt need to be in the cockpit all the time. The
Fat Lady hardly needed navigation. In fact, the Fat Lady had little control over where
they went. The solar winds decided their direction, the rudder only used for the subtlest
changes. They had very little chemical fuel left to power their remaining rockets, which
were reserved for landing.
Of course, landing was. . . wishful thinking, at best. Finding a planet with
similar kind of species as themselves, or even one potentially capable of supporting their
form of life, was unlikely enough with their powerful scopes that sought complex carbon
chains. Now, their tools were limited to a handful of probes that were capable of multiple
entry and exit through a wide range of atmospheric conditions. Moving as slowly as they
were, their only option was to explore the solar system they managed to wander into. It
wasnt likely they would be able to escape the clutches of the double star system anytime
soon.
Only one of the various laboratories remained in the ship. It had been reserved
for biologic studies and other odd projects that didnt fit elsewhere. Cool, aseptic, and
contained, it was immediately obvious he wasnt there. Behind glass partitions was a
makeshift greenhouse, formerly an area for experimental hybrids of crop plants. Now, it
housed the small vegetable garden that fed them daily, as well as the tiny fishpond of
tilapia that broke the monotony of protein supplements.
The southern portal of the lab led to an access pod that used to traverse the
length and breadth of the ship, a complex gridline of pathways called aptly, the
Labyrinth. After the accident, the sole remnant of the Labyrinth was the massive shaft
that was called the Main Mast. It was to this pod Sakura went, still in her nightclothes.
She grabbed the lab coat slung over her customary chair on her way out.
The steel portals opened to admit her, and just as quietly, shut her in the
spherical enclosure. She could feel the contents of her stomach rush to her throat, her
body discombobulated by the swift descent. Closing her eyes against the gleam of metal
seeming to invaginate her subjected her to a different brand of vertigo. Instead of
comforting crimson, white deluged her vision, the sudden rush directionless. Spots
invaded her line of sight, multiplied, spun, and spread impossibly into a long tunnel that
truncatedfar, far awayinto that unforgiving, piercing white disc.
She screamed.
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Choked.
Then, the world stilled and she could open her eyes again.
The access pod had descended to the lowest tier of the ship and opened directly
to the Decontamination Unit. Sakura knew every corner of Decon like the back of her
hand. It was where each of her workday began and ended daily, as entering the combs
required preparations in the sterile chamber.
It was also where they hauled her when they were resuscitating her after her fall.
See, even if everybody else kept mum about the story, there was one other source of
information, one that did not gloss over anything it had available. The Fat Ladys
database carried details of everything that has happened since the mission began,
including that accident.
(This is rather cruel, Kabuto, suddenly undergoing Induction, Sakura said, a
note of pleading in her tone. Cant you?
Au contraire, Kabuto said wryly. Shouldnt you say, Sorry, Ive been cruel
the past three months, letting you do this all by yourself? Something like that?
Touche.
Youre welcome. Anyway, save us baby pics. Wed love to see a less prickly
Chief Uchiha, even a miniature one.
And if it turns out to be a girl?
Then we get to see the Uchiha as a fatuous, doting Papa. Kabuto smiled, as if
imagining this while he stripped off his uniform, unembarrassed. That should be
payback enough.
Sakura could only nod at first, then: Thank you. And I am sorry. Sarutobi-
sensei
I never envied you, Sakura, he interrupted, still kind. Not for anything. I just
want that known for the record.
He fell back into the Aether.)
Nobody forced her, of course, but Sakura felt it her duty to carry out that
Induction. It was her job, after all, and it was high time she got over her prejudices and
personal misgivings. It was not about how she felt or thought about the procedure. She
thought, if she was compromising her values by doing it, then it was a little too late for
her to be second-guessing her decisions. After all, why did she undertake the mission in
the first place when she already knew what it entailed beforehand?
Her partner was surprisingly silent when she hesitantly shared her reasoning
with him, kind enough to keep his opinions to himself, whatever they were. He did so
with an uncharacteristic effort that startled Sakura.
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Perhaps, she shouldnt have been. Despite his often abrasive manner of
speaking, he was quite solicitous and rather protective of her, an observation that
frightened her somewhat for what it connoted. It was something she still had trouble
admitting to herself at the time: her fears werent solely grounded on his tendency to
dominate her, see. Since what she carried was borne from half his genetic material, she
couldnt completely begrudge him of his claim on her body. No, her trepidation stemmed
from her own need to have a piece of him in turn, to have some assurance that somehow
transcended his dedication to his responsibilities or even his immense, unflappable pride.
In retrospect, she could attribute that aching need to several things. Maybe it
was as simple as a competitive drive to surpass a professional peer. It could have been
her motherly instinct, her anxiety for her unborn child, her need for a solid promise that
she would have a willing partner even long after the birthing. But there were other
possibilities she was not prepared to accept or even acknowledge.
(Because there was no way she could expect anything from him in return, not
now, not ever.
Not till hell freezes over, the doctor had said, years and years ago.
The Endymion Effect suggests it could, Shizune, the resident biochemist
pointed out. And if Hell can freeze over, the Uchiha can certainly thaw.
I highly doubt that, Temari, Sakura had sniggered. Not in this universe.)
He seemed oblivious to the constant, niggling anxiety that had plagued her then.
Time and fate gave fruition to her fears. The baby she then carried was gone without a
trace, and never again would she be able to conceive, not naturally. A few days short of
two years later, those concerns seem distant and trivial, hardly anything that should
occupy her thoughts so often.
She discarded her labcoat after a brief reflection. She couldnt remember where
she had last used it exactly, but it would be safer not to introduce even traces of chemical
into the inert atmosphere of the combs. The frilly, lacy nightie, yet another keepsake,
this time from a college roommate, would be incongruous inside the spare, vast chamber.
If Sasuke was indeed there, she would surely be ridiculed for it. Whats this, he would
ask, a faerie princess descending from high to pirouette about her glow-worm garden?
She had rarely gone beyond the bounds of the ADL without her salmon-colored
uniform. Being divested of it made her realize its role as a sort of security blanket. After
all, should another accident befall them, it hardly mattered what she was wearing. She
was vulnerable either way, a highly ordered conglomeration of matter and energy,
waiting to shudder into the chaos it inevitably sought.
At any rate, she didnt mean to stay long in the combs. She didnt bother with
the details: additional lights, her inspection gear, an adjustment of the thermostat. The
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sole portal admitted her quickly into the cavity. She would have preferred to keep it open,
but it would automatically shut behind her when she moved further into the darkened
chamber.
Only a very subtle lighting made her way visible, evenly distributed throughout
the long, narrow enclosure. She could see they lit up small patches of space all the way
down to the northern end, a certain number of paces away, she knew. She couldnt
remember.
She shivered, both from the chilly air and preternatural touch of the tongue-like
slivers of incandescence. A few steps later, her eyes had adjusted to the rooms stringent
lighting and managed to discover the motionless figure of her sole remaining comrade.
He was sitting with his back to her, quite near the edge of the dais, she thought,
but she couldnt see well enough to be sure. She recognized his posturelegs crossed,
hands relaxed on his thighs, back straightas one of meditation. Her steps faltered.
He was the first to speak after a long silence.
Maybe I am, he said.
Hm, was all Sakura could come up with as she scrambled her wits together.
What did you say?
Praying, he answered after another spell of quiet.
We all pray, she offered warily when he didnt elaborate. Whether we mean
to or not, sometimes we end up praying. Sometimes, we dont realize we are at all.
She knew, of course, that in Sasukes birthplace, there were particular rules
when it came to praying, as with everything. The soldiers of Dis believed in a distant,
voyeuristic god, a singularity that did nothing to influence the universe it created, merely
enforced the rules on which it was built. Sakura did not know Sasuke to believe in that
Nameless, Faceless One, but it undoubtedly would have been entwined with his
upbringing.
The last time I prayed, I was ten years old, he said conversationally. I did it
the way I was taught, even though a normal kid would have asked for something
simpler.
A prayer in Dis encompassed its three primary tenets: the continued movement
of the stars, the continued balance of life and death, the continued cycle of destruction
and creation. She could only imagine how a young child could negotiate through those
involved, abstract verses, especially after learning of the obliteration of his homeland.
Your familys safety? she asked gently. Evidently, he had been safe and away
when the tragedy struck, was probably nowhere near Dis.
My brothers death, actually.
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Sakura came to sit behind him. She said nothing, though she was tempted to
question him closely about this. He had never as much as hinted hatred towards his elder
brother, Itachi, a high-ranking prodigy of the Darudin airforce, credited with many
breakthroughs, particularly the use of plasma fields in a gamut of arenas, aeronautics and
weaponry only being examples. The few times Sasuke had spoken of his brother, only a
deep-rooted respect was evident.
He sold me to the Oligarchs.
In spite of herself, Sakura became icy. Daru does not tolerate
I was apprenticed, in exchange for political favors, he interrupted. She could
almost hear him roll his eyes. Its common knowledge guilds treat their novices like
slaves.
Guilds were specialized schools that trained gifted children and groomed them
in particular specialities determined by exacting aptitude tests and genetic mapping. She
had entered one when she was twelve.
Was allowed to go home on my birthday, Sasuke continued. Night before my
trip, some idiot flubbed the hourly bolts check and a small tremor from a seaquake
halfway across the globe caused the shield to rupture. They evacuated who they can. The
rest. . .
Completely floored by this uncharacteristic outpouring, she stammered, I-I am
sorry for your loss.
Of course, you are, he said with a bark of laughter. It was a mean little laugh
that stung her eyes in spite of herself. This rigmarole is instinctive to you, isnt it?
He untangled himself from his position and turned to stare at her. There was an
honest, open amusement on his expression that startled her. She flushed, but it was not
from embarrassment.
The ideal Dis wouldnt have considered it a loss.
That was congruent with what she learned of Dis culture long ago as a student.
The Dis valued perfection, the cataclysmic cycle of destruction and rebirth to reach this
state. A mediocre piece of work needed to be redone. An inefficient government needed
to be overhauled. A dysfunctional society needed to be annihilated. Rebirth was the
ultimate gift, a chance to start over, a shot at perfection. Before rebirth, it followed that
Death had to come first.
Of course, Sasuke said wryly. I was never considered anywhere near ideal.
Sakura managed to recover. I-If. . . If you had been, you wouldnt be in this
mission.
I am more practical than most of my brethren. He was surprisingly agreeable.
I wasnt the type to just follow and die. Course I ended up living in a world ruled by a
committee. Ironic, isnt it?
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His sometimes begrudging manner aside, Sasuke was undoubtedly adaptable.
The fields of engineering and research were the only two ways of life offered by the
Haephestos guild. Only two institutions offered jobs in such fields: the theocratic
bureaucracy that ran the world and the massive military that carried out their meticulous
orders. Sasuke had gone for the former, while Sakura went for the latter.
Sasuke worked for the Oligarchs, the assembly that created, examined, and
updated Darudin laws. They were made up of chosen leaders from various sectors, fields,
and walks of life. Sasuke joined the Oligarchs for more than eight years as a
representative of the Haephastos guild, specializing in laws that dictated the usage of all
machines existing within the Talan solar system. After his term of office ended, the
twenty-five year old Dis became an ordinary technology inspector for the Oligarchs,
investigating engineering advances for their ramifications on public safety, health, and
ethics.
Sakura joined the army as a way to fund her further studies after exhausting the
offerings of her humble guild, which was nowhere near Sasukes in prestige and amount
of resources. She served as a foot soldier for several years, climbing the ranks quickly for
her tenacity and prodigious grasp of tactics. She was accidentally reunited with an old
professor when she was twenty-five, and so left active service to become a biophysics
researcher in weapons development.
Sakura first met Sasuke when she was tasked to present a revolutionary idea in
criminal incarceration, an accidental finding that confounded many accepted facts in their
day. That was how the Endymion Effect was discovered.
(The heat was hellish in the shipyard, only one of the many that was scattered all
over the equatorial region of Mu, Nanases twin. The side of the moon that faced the
direct path of Talas blaze could have been any desert in Daru on a high summer noon.
The man standing amidst the equipment, steam, and sheets of metal was equally familiar.
She recognized the confident, almost arrogant stance, the indifferent expression that
bordered on distaste: it was the person she had traveled thousands of miles for, to appeal
her case.
The deliberation period is over, he said as soon as she was within earshot.
Youve come to bother the wrong person.
I doubt it, Engineer Uchiha, she said, shielding her eyes from the intense
sunlight. I understand now why the Catacomb Prototype failed the official inspection.
The respectable engineers of Haesphastos guild had overrun our sectors, overseeing the
recommended changes. Very simple changes, really. Its mind blowing, however, their
results.
Im no longer part of the Oligarchy. I had nothing to do with it.
Oh, I didnt come here to thank you, Engineer Uchiha, the biophysicist
quipped. So this is the groundbreaking Freja, huh?
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There are people here who have work to finish. Leave out the rigmarole.
Im sure youve had the initial briefing for Project Orpheus. Ive come to
deliver summons. Were supposed to be in Northern Daru in fifty-nine hours.
The pomp and circumstance of an official assignment briefing, I suppose.
And a pretty long trip. I might take advantage of it to dissuade you of a few of
your misgivings on the Endymion Effect.
You never give up, do you, Researcher Haruno?
I dont consider it a fault, Engineer, and perhaps, neither should you.)
Well, he prompted, breaking into her reminisces. You were looking for me,
wife?
She shook her head to indicate it wasnt important. Wife. . . she hadnt heard
such an archaic term in a while. Trust Sasuke to unearth it.
You were meditating, she said, changing tact. Any buds of wisdom you care
to share?
Her partner sank into another silence, as if to gather his thoughts.
You grew up, he began, seriously, among people who question everything
they sense and perceive, even their every thoughts.
With Sasuke, conversations werent just conversations, especially with a
sweeping opening line as such. Sakura listened closely, alert and ready to respond, lest he
lose interest when she failed to keep up.
Their every statement of fact is tested against the rigors of experimentation,
passed through a fine-toothed logic based on knowledge obtained through the same,
milked from the minds and sweat of countless generations of our species.
As have you, she pointed out. Its hard to believe our ancestors once had to
conjure colorful stories to explain everyday phenomena. Of course, at the advent of what
we call science, our elaborate stories became relegated to mythology.
He nodded to acknowledge her. The questions and answers that cannot be
tested by our existing tools became compartmentalized under religion, spirituality, and
mysticism. Now, the delineation between these. . . belief systems. . . are blurring once
again, like they were that time they thought the world was ending, a thousand years ago.
I think its been like that for the past hundred years, Sakura murmured. A
millennium ago, people would be screaming for separation of state and church, for
example. I think its because weve ran out of questions to ask. The remaining questions,
as you say, cannot be tested. Or maybe its not the questions. . .
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No, not the questions. He seemed pleased that she has been grasping his
points immediately. We, Darudins, have reached our limit. We can no longer physically
comprehend the answers to our inquiries.
Her expression must have given away her perplexity.
The answers to these remaining questions are simply beyond our ability to
understand. However vast our capacity to imagine, we are still limited by our senses.
Because it is by these we know reality as it exists for us, she agreed, nodding
thoughtfully. They are our only bases. We cannot fully comprehend anything not bound
by their terms.
A prime example. He gestured vaguely.
Aether. We havent the faintest idea what it is.
Some of the more radical Dis thought it to be the manifestation of the Nameless
and Faceless.
This is god? Sakura didnt know whether to laugh or cry. My minds
obviously not open enough for that one. If so, there must be something wrong with the
Darudin dream of spreading the human species to the most distant stars. Weve been
directly struck by god himself, havent we? We are damned.
It was a purely academic observation before you started waxing woe-is-me.
He frowned at her, but only briefly. At any rate, the official purpose of Project Orpheus
is mere survival. Eventually, even without that message-from-the-sky nonesense, Tala
will die, and before her, Daru. The Oligarchs are practical people.
I know, she said, a trace of bitterness in her voice. Were only scouts into a
new frontier. Expendable.
But not inexpensive, he reminded.
She smiled at him. He really was kind sometimes.
Again, he said after a companionable silence. Since you parried quite well
earlier.
Ah. She started. Yes. I was looking for you.
Youve found me.
Sakura hesitated, unsure of how to broach the topic. It had been on her mind for
months now. Only last night did she find resolve to come clean. She supposed, it didnt
matter in the end what words she used.
Im so sorry.
She didnt want to start with an apology either, she thought with a wince. But
there it was, tossed on the negotiation table, subject to his disposition for the day.
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When you told me not to, I shouldnt have. The day the ship broke, I performed
Kabutos Induction, didnt I? Something had gone horribly wrong. It was my fault.
He seemed startled, puzzled, but he quickly mastered his reaction. You dont
know that, he said, dismissive. There is no way to test causality. You remember now?
You told me I dont have the psychological hardiness to perform Induction. I
didnt listen. Disaster struck. At least, there is one less victim in that tragedy. My only
consolation is knowing Kabuto is somewhere among those living prisms, waiting to arise
to a new world. Failing that, theirs would be an easier death.
If anything, Sasukes face only become harder. But then, his usual smirk made
its appearance. You dont really remember, do you? he said cryptically. The Fat Lady
doesnt lie, but you have to ask the right questions. Took you long enough to figure it
out.
Ive known for a while. A year, maybe.
So youve been stewing in guilt over a delusion of grandeur the same length of
time. You don't actually think you have mastery over Aether, do you?"
"You don't believe in untested theories."
"I don't have to believe it. Why waste time on unanswerable questions?"
"Speaking of unanswerable, Freja wouldn't tell me if the package's been sent."
"Package? I'm not known to release prematurely, data or otherwise."
"But the mission has failed. We can't produce offspring. We will fester to a
miserable death wandering this vast ocean and nobody will be there to replace us. Who
do we choose to bring back? How? I don't think I can bear to damn anybody to our hell,
Sasuke. That is my limit."
Fascinating. He didnt even sound sarcastic.
Dont patronize me! She was more hurt than angry, but was seeking purchase
on fighting words. Its not that Ive lost all hope. Or that I want to quit. But maybe. . .
You want to pull reverse psychology on the Faceless and Nameless?
No! But maybe, if its no longer the be all end all, no longer the highest
priority, to-die-for mission, we wouldnt feel our existence as it is as so transient,
suspended till we find this new planet that may not even exist. Maybe we could have
some semblance of normalcy.
Pretend were in a space station next door Nanase. Play house. Play happy
family. Like we used to do before the ship broke.
We dont have to pretend anything. I just think well be better off if we operate
daily with a little bit more contentment, maintain a quiet and unobtrusive hope that. . .
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someday. But not now. Not this constant, endless chase that grates on our nerves, our
sanity, every waking moment. It doesnt have to be now.
. . .
It was just a thought. I know, I compromised the mission. I know its my fault
we failed one of the missions most important stipulations.
Youre not sorry, he said coolly.
She wasnt able to retort, wasnt able to talk around the burning rift in her chest.
I dont think I can bear to damn anybody else to our hell, he quoted. If it is
your incompetence that caused the incident, then that same incompetence saved her from
this hell of yours.
Sasuke
What? You think thanks are in order? Fine. Thank you for sparing our child.
As if the word, child, broke some dam within her, Sakura burst into tears.
Well, somethings got to give, she said, when she could again breathe around
the gasping sobs. And I thought something did last night.
He let her cry, allowed the storm to pass uninterrupted. When Sakura looked up
to see his stoic expression unchanged, she broke into another round of weeping. She had
every intention to break the set of his jaw, with her fists preferably, but she couldnt see
very well through her tears and had stumbled instead when she tried. The impact of their
bodies was hard enough to cause her head to snap back. She would have fallen back,
maybe crack her head against the steel, but he caught her, holding her steady, en face. It
was unbearable, she thought, so she buried her face on the crook of his neck instead, too
tired to shake herself free.
I thought I was forgiven, she said bitterly.
He seemed genuinely... if not quite flummoxed, disturbed by this. His
expressionless visage became creased with a slight frown. This, she felt. She could feel
the tension that belied his impassive stance.
I know you hate me. I know youve had to put up with me all these years
because youre immensely proud and stupid in things that really matter, like me. Youre
not gonna screw a mission over a personal preference or whatever.
Cut to the chase, he snarled, finally succumbing to the impatience.
Why did you make love to me last night?
He stilled. Even her sobs quieted and slowed, as she waited for his answer. She
supposed, she wasnt really expecting anything. Probably another misdirection or an
outright dismissal. He already said he wouldnt waste time on answerable questions.
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As expected, he smirked, though not with his usual one. It was almost an odd
little smile he had, lingering at the edges of his lips, incomplete. He let her see this,
pulling her to arms length to be able to look at her in the eye. Then, he took her back to
him, as if to embrace her, as if to whisper in her ear.
Something did give, you know, he murmured. All these years, Ive only been
able to give you one thing.
Sasuke, what
My gift to you, wife, as always, is oblivion.
He kissed her. It started on that nearby ear, started as a tiny one that gained
momentum and intent as it traveled down her jaw line. By the time it reached her chin, it
was open-mouthed, searing, like that day in Mus shipyard, on Frejas birthday. A
shuddering sigh escaped her lips when they finally joined his, the reunion tender, though
hesitant, fraught with disbelief. When it came apparent he wouldnt relinquish her within
the next few minutes, within forever, she relaxed, boneless and pliant against his touch,
his roaming, seeking hands.
Apparently, something, as he had said, did give.
Later, after rousing her from her pleasant, dreamless doze, he pulled her to her
feet. She wasnt sure how much time has passed to reach this later, but the euphoria has
yet to dissipate. She allowed him to lead her, his hands twined about hers, so new. . . so
familiar.
Do you know, Sakura, the story of Endymion? His voice was husky, as if he
hadnt spoken in hours.
Yes, my husband, she answered, pert, relishing the taste of the antiquated term
on her tongue. There are several versions of the myth, in fact.
In this version, the moon goddess loved a mortal man, he continued, his
fingers busy about her arms, her shoulders, her neck. She loved him so much, that she
asked her father, the Nameless, Faceless to grant eternal days, eternal youth on her
lover.
And Endymion was bound in eternal sleep, she said, voice hitching when the
gossamer of her nightie finally shimmied down her body to pool about her bare feet. A
romantic story, but awfully sad.
Yes.
It was then he pushed her.
She felt the immediate wrench of gravitation, the sudden and terrifying lack of
ground beneath her. It was a gentle little thrust, but it was purposeful and damning.
He pushed her.
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Immediately overriding the initial terror was a hot, despairing rage: he tricked
her, that manipulative pit viper! He had never trusted the Endymion Effect, never
believed it was even good enough to use in humane incarceration of hardcore criminals,
and most certainly not as the worlds forlorn hope for redemption. He disapproved of it
from the start; that disagreement was practically the basis of their relationship. Is this his
final argument? Did he aspire to prove his point through an outright, well-crafted attempt
at murder?
(Sakura Haruno blacked out when the unseen energy swept her from where she
stood, but it wasnt because of the forces that nearly tore her to pieces. The moment she
flew was the moment she saw it: Kabuto Yakushos eyes were open with glassy death.
He did not feel the plasmic energy engulf his body, did not feel it when he disintegrated,
relinquished his form to a funnel of dust, to naught.)
So. That was what he didnt tell her: she had failed to Induce the Endymion
Effect and Kabuto Yakusho was dead, just like all the others, all those names she could
recite in her sleep, all those faces she could see in the dark.
That stupid, stupid, incorrigible man! Didnt he ever tire of always being
right?
She could no longer summon the words she wanted, not even in thought. It was
as if each repelled the other, bounced apart and spiraled away to the deeper recesses of
her brain. A certain lassitude seeped from this shadowed area, meandering about her
attempts for coherence, till she could no longer feel the cold fingering her nakedness,
hear the whistle of the thin air moving against her ears as she fell, or see the dark,
immovable eyes of her judge and executioner.
Her savior.
So, was her last thought before the Aether took her, it was the only thing he
could give her, he said.
She would take it, as always.
e. Time:
(Major General Haruno was neither well-known or particularly visible in the
Darudin scheme of thingsat least, not in the public side. Hers was a name often
exchanged among the Oligarchs, often with accounts of her brilliant, usually diplomatic
solutions to impending crises. See, the problem with any multi-cultural, multi-territorial
state was that it was perpetually trying to fall apart.
She had since retired from her quietly celebrated post, but it still affected certain
expectations he had. The quiet, unassuming research assistant of the famed Hiruzen
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Sarutobi did not seem like the shrewd tactician that had caught the Oligarchys attention.
Petite and slender, she bustled about the sterile laboratory in preparation, efficiently
navigating her way around her bigger, more nervous colleagues. While her presentation
was informative enough, it didnt seem like she was trying hard to convince him to
approve their invention.
The ingenue facade disappeared once he started criticizing their so-called
Endymion Effect. The sweet-faced, doe-eyed creature morphed into a pink-furred pitbull
that foamed logic and mathematics at the mouth. She has since been debating with him at
a purely cerebral level, whatever the topic, she challenged his views. At first he mistook
her tenacity as impassioned belief. He realized later that she was merely a person whose
purpose in life was to pursue truth, in whatever form it lay, that every question she
returned was directed as much to herself as to him.
She was, in other words, a very annoying person.)
Sasuke was awake, but he resisted opening his eyes as yet. There was nothing
particularly interesting, nothing particularly needing his attention beyond the maroon
protection of his lightly closed lids. He saw what he needed in his minds eye and it
usually sufficed to see him through his usual routines.
Working in shifts no longer made sense; he was the sole remaining hand in the
entire ship. He inspected the various navigation equipment every nineteen hours, minded
the garden every twenty-three, did maintenance work on the ship every fifty-two, and
rounded the combs every seventy-four. It was a calm, unhurried living. He slept when he
wanted, ate when he wanted. He did keep strict schedules on grooming and exercising,
however, to prevent muscle atrophy and bone-density loss. If that wasnt normal enough
for her, he didnt know what was.
After Frejas breaking, it had taken a few months before she became well
enough to share their old bed. The makeshift infirmary was invariably cold, but she liked
burying herself in blankets, anyway, especially with those handmade by that blonde
geneticist who was hibernated after Old Sar. Her name was Ina or something like that.
Even then, he kept his distance, allowing her to sift through the confusion herself. She
was the type that wilted when smothered with attention. She healed better when left on
her own, as he and Dr. Shizune learned during the testy few days after Sakura woke up
from her coma, hysterical and inconsolable.
Sasuke followed the doctors orders, answering his partners questions with the
barest, most straightforward answers, entirely skipping the futile exercise of piecing
together some platitude to assuage her grief. It wasnt clear whether the gaps in her
memory was somatogenic, caused by the closed head injury or the anoxia from the blood
loss, or psychogenic, as in a dissociative amnesia caused either by the trauma or by the
severe internal conflict from guilt.
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He had forgotten when the prescribed meanness became norm, took the form of
countless resentments that was never meant to be directed to her. Her delusions became
vicious self-fulfilling prophecies, till he truly was the bastard she thought he was and they
truly were the enmeshed pair she thought, tethered together by misfortune and fate.
Waking up daily to watch her occupy herself with the imaginary mind games
she fancied he was playing with her was tiring enough. Watching her wake up and break
out of one nightmare and into another tested his practiced stoic. The bad awakenings
were more frequent the first few weeks, wherein she woke up sobbing, trembling, and
professing to not know why. These episodes eventually vanished in time, but the way she
woke after her regimented eight hours never failed to infuriate him.
She woke like this, gradually, a languorous contentment weighing down her
limbs. A smile would dance to her lips, subtle, a habit paired with the tender curving of a
hand to her belly. Her brow would furrow, as the confusion muddied that sheer,
uncomplicated joy. The distress on her face would dissipate with her increasing
consciousness, the massive imbalance settled between two breaths. By the time she was
fully awake, she returned to her usual selfto a semblance of it, anyway, because there
were cracks here and there that reminded she was not, she was not the woman with whom
he accepted this lifelong mission.
(Do you remember that titillating conversation we had a few days ago,
Temari?
Sasuke didnt have to turn to know it was her speaking. It was the voice that has
been grating his ears for days now, what with the incessant talk about how the inherent
inhumanity of capital punishment was an aberration their species should have gotten rid
of millennia ago. The woman was a repository of unwanted and unasked for opinions,
and damn him if hed ever admit it but rue he did the day he first challenged her in
debate.
Something about that ancient joke on purgatory being exothermic, was it? the
chemist had quipped.
Negative, my dear. The corollary exists. Apparently, one Sakura Haruno is
capable of making one Sasuke Uchiha go up in flames.
How long and how hot?
Thawed him enough for one date over hard liquor and why he should have
recommended the Endymion Effect for approval for the original project we proposed, not
some outlandish space exploration bonanza.
She went up to him then, even as he pointedly ignored her, and poked his
shoulder. What the hell? It was his last day on Daru and if he had to spend it with
someone, he might as well spend it with the person he was assigned to by the Oligarchy.
Itll start the desensitization process, at least.
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Youd be gratified to know were on speaking terms again, Engineer Uchiha,
she told him graciously. He made the mistake of looking and was disarmed by her
brilliant smile.
Should I file for medical leave now, Researcher Haruno? He returned gruffly,
glaring at the eye-damaging orange of her new uniform. Save time for when you shatter
my eardrums or sanity. Whichever fails first.
You told me you werent involved with Oligarch decisions, any longer, but I
think you wield more influence than you let on. You know, you look nothing at all of
what I envision a holy man.
Im not.
Not with your blasphemous wit, no. Her eyes were twinkling, belying her
chiding tone. They were the color of the waters of Dis when struck by the rays of dawn.
The combs, indeed. Our colleagues think its cute, since it does look like one massive
honeycomb.
Wait till they load it up with their so-called volunteers.
I know. She sobered. Catacombs, huh? You really dont believe in the
Endymion Effect, do you?
Whether I believe it or not, has no bearing on the mission at hand. Now, stop
nattering and carry your own baggage.
She laughed in spite of herself. I give up, I give up! For now, anyway. You do
realize that a medical leave in this mission equals Induction, dont you?
Not if I can help it.
But you want to know what I think?
No.
I think youre just like me, faker. I think were made for this mission, you and
I. Were off to save the world, Engineer Uchiha, so smile!)
But one could only hide so much with a smile. The cracks were everywhere,
visible and glaring. Something had to give.
Sasuke rose from his favorite chair, the cushioned recliner First Captain Asuma
gleefully lugged to the cockpit when he learned Sakura was expecting. Let the Uchiha
have no sanctuary, he decreed. As if comfortable chairs everywhere would ensure the
biophysicists safety. . . At any rate, it gave Sasuke a place to sleep. It usually overtook
him in the cockpit, his sanctuary. It was the place she least frequented.
He was hungry and decided a walk to the laboratory wouldnt be amiss. He did
all his cooking there, grilling freshly-caught fish over a Bunsen burner or steaming
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freshly-picked vegetables on an all-purpose pot. Using a roundabout way, he did not have
to go through the ADL quarters, places he usually avoided. He had no responsibilities in
those rooms, so there was no reason to go in them,
He paused at the bridge and looked outside. The sight was no longer as foreign
as it was. The spread of stars had become familiar through time, such that he fancied
seeing the constellations he had memorized as a child in the extensive starcharts in his
fathers library and in the only planetarium in Dis where his mother took him on Sunday
afternoons. There was no way to tell, of course. Gone were the scopes that would have
led closer to answers.
But he did try to tell her. He did, because she deserved to know the truth. She
would have wanted to know it. He tried to tell her that she didnt manage to save Kabuto
Yakushi, but she did succeednever mind the five thousand entities supposedly in those
catacombs, they could all go to hellshe did succeed in saving herself. He tried to tell
her that that was the most important thing.
Sakura didnt like being spoon-fed facts, see. She never took anything at face
value, never took his words just as they were. He didnt expect her to. It wasnt realistic
to expect anybody, expect her, to believe that cruelty was kindness, that he merely did
what he had to.
Resilient and stubborn, she healed at a tremendous speed. The broken pieces
reconnected, meshed, but it did so imperfectly. The cracks were still visible, especially
when she smiled, and couldnt, couldnt quite smile the way she used to. She lived, but
she lived with a limp, pulling along a invisible weight.
She had to be broken, fractured completely. She had to shatter again to pieces.
And then, and then, they could piece her again. Slowly but surely. If this insensible,
imperceptible reservoir at the bottom of their ship truly was the manifestation of the
Nameless, Faceless, perhaps a renewed Sakura would awaken at the end of their journey.
(It took an amazingly gargantuan effort to close the outstretched hand he thought
could somehow grasp the bolt of white that fluttered away from below him, but only a
fraction of that did he use to slide down the remaining hundred rungs to below. It was no
flower petal, no ladys handkerchief, no graceful descent. When she fell, she broke
against the much harder flesh of the ship.
He knew all the kings horses, all the kings men. . . only fairytales had perfectly
bow-tied endings. Only myths bore explanations to tragedy. Only legends venerated
unwilling martyrs. Humans crawled through aftermaths, insensate for a mere second or a
whole lifetime, incapacitated by grief, loss. To what degree varied with ones resilience,
with the extent of damage sustained, with what was left behind.
He was one of the lucky ones.
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There was a horrendous minute when he was alone with her, cursing all the
knowledge he acquired his erudite life that hinted nowhere how to save her. Then
Shizune was there, and he could breathe and think again.
Sasuke. It came from the pallid, mangled mass that mimicked the form of his
partner. Sasuke.
Shut up. Was she going to start a debate when she couldnt even breathe?
Shut up.
The Aether. . .
She could still open a single eye. It fixed on him like a snipers scope, the cross-
hairs distorted by the broken lens. The white of her eyes was the white of her flesh, the
red lightning on the preternaturally white sky was the red of her escaping lifeblood. It
was a contained storm that quietly tested its man-made bonds, but it threatened to engulf
him and rip him to shreds.
My baby. . . My baby, Sasuke. . . Aether.
He ignored her delirious muttering. Shizune, can you fix her?
We shouldnt really move her. The doctors voice was abrasive, hollow.
Uncertain. Her back
Can you fix her, doctor?
Yes. The dark-haired woman threw him a look so fierce, he would always
remember her by it. I will!
Please. . . please. . .
It had been her litany until the blood loss forced a blessed darkness onto her.)
He was tired.
The few-minutes walk from the cockpit to the bridge seemed hours long. Even
with the cocktail of drugs released by the apothecary, it still seemed so difficult to get
enough air. He was tired of fighting for his breath, tired of treading the unseen waters that
only manifested in each rattling gasp. There was only so much years you could force onto
a single organ. There was only so much he could delay.
How long has it been? He hadnt bothered to keep track anymore, so he couldnt
tell. Freja would know, of course. Freja already knew what to do, as soon as his last act
has been fulfilled. Theyve drawn up several plans, depending on the circumstances of
their descent, on which group of people to bring back from the honeycombs. Of course,
they would have to get straight to work. They would have to take over from there.
(He even had their names memorized: Naruto Uzumaki, the orphaned prince of
a long-forgotten empire, would be their charismatic leader. He had an unsullied idealism
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and an unshakable political will that would carve the base of their civilization. Shikamaru
Nara would be his right-hand man, an immensely intelligent city planner the Oligarchy
discovered by accident, who would lend practicality to the Magistrates edicts. General
Gaara would ensure discipline and order, would carry out the appropriate plans and
ensure everyones cooperation. Meanwhile, the mystical hermit Jiraiya would serve as a
moral compass. Dr. Hinata Hyuuga, Researcher Shino Aburame, Lee Rock, the names
went on. . . It was decided years ago, by the Oligarchy, when they decreed to resurrect
Project Orpheus. It was decided then who would plant the beginning seeds of a new
Daru.
See, the name Sasuke Uchiha was never supposed to be there.
Hers was.)
He would rest a few more moments, he decided, then he would walk back to the
cockpit and finish it. He would look a few more moments at the orb of green. blue, and
brown, generously swathed with the white of condensed water vapor. He wondered what
she would say to that sight. He wondered what shed think.
Hell be damned if he ever conceded she was right.
Nothing short of cataclysmic, was it?
He slowed his breathing with conscious effort, schooled it into an exacting
pattern that maximized the oxygen his lungs could draw from each gasp. Pain lanced
across his chest, began to solidify, to take a more substantial form, till a crushing density
replaced the infrequent stabs.
He was drowning.
Wait, he thought, as his world contracted, as his darkness drew in.
Im almost there
The Human Stain
There was more blood than she expected.
Haruno Sakura stood in the front entryway of the old cathedral, staring grimly
inwards at the carnage. The stairs leading up to the stone arch of the entryway had been
liberally splashed with blood, the dark red puddles gleaming almost black in the late
afternoon light. Inside the structure was more of the same: if there wasnt more blood
than paint on the walls and ceiling, it was a near thing. Both of the oversized, ornate front
doors were open, one more than halfway off its hinges and leaning awkwardly against the
inside wall, the other bent into an uneven u-shape and tossed with obvious carelessness
into a brass stand that had once held prayer candles.
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The marble floor was marred by deep scores and long, spidery cracks ran
through the stone walls all the way up to the ceiling, testament to countless fierce
struggles that must have taken place there. Dust hung heavy in the air, and glass and
stone from the shattered stained glass windows and the statues of various forgotten saints
crunched underfoot as Sakura carefully took a step into the nave, though there was also a
muted squelching sound when she brought her boot down.
She wasnt seeing anything new here, nothing she hadnt already seen three
score times at the very least, but even after years of experience, the amount of blood one
found at these sorts of incidents (as the Hunters Union PR department chose to call
them) still managed to impress her.
She lingered in the doorway for a few seconds longer, drawing strength and
warmth from the sun on her back; promising herself that this was not the last time she
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would enjoy that subtle heat, she readied her gun and her hunters stave, then stepped
forward over the threshold, into what might very well prove to be the lions den.
She had followed his trail here, to the ruins of St. Michaelsan old church,
likely the oldest in the City: it had been ruins when the Hunters Union had first been
formed more than a century ago. It was clever of him, choosing a place that many would
overlook due to its original purpose; after all, there were few enough churches that would
admit him now.
But no congregation met at St. Michaels, and without people, a church is only a
building.
Regardless, it was still a house, and therefore still had a threshold, but Sakura
knew that there was more than enough blood slicking the stones to have broken it, though
in a case such as this, open doors were invitation enough.
From what she could see, it was an invitation that had been taken fairly often.
Piles of bones were heaped amidst the rubble of the stone pews and religious reliefs, all
of them obviously human, making this place easy to ID as a nest. Or former nest, rather,
since the freshest layer of blood was from the three scores of Vampire corpses littering
the building.
Sakura paused before one of the many bodies, crouching to study it, though she
only looked it over with half an eye. Coming here on her own, without a partner, meant
she had to be even more alert than usual. Vampires were fast, several times stronger than
a normal human, and silent when they wanted to be; even though she was fairly certain
this nest had been completely wiped out, Sakura was too smart to chance giving any
possible survivors the element of surprise on top of all that. But even a quick look at the
corpse told her all that she needed to know:
Vampire, male. Estimated time of death, two to four hours ago. Cause of death,
disembowelment and subsequent exsanguination coupled with fourth-degree burns on
approximately 63% of the total body surface.
A similar glance at other corpses showed much of the same, though more than a
few had been decapitated. A few also sported single bullet wounds, or cuts from a blade
that had burned through their flesh; only a Hunters gun could kill with a single bullet,
and a Blessed silver blade was the only thing that could cauterize a Vampires flesh like
that. It wasnt uncommon for a Hunter to carry bothSakura did herselfbut there was
only one Hunter left alive who was capable of performing fire spells at the level
displayed here, and judging by the extent of the physical damage to these corpses
Sakuras eyes narrowed as they settled on the neck of the nearest Vampire.
Every one of these Vampires had the faint, tell-tale scar over their carotid artery
indicating that they had been Made.
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There were two kinds of Vampire in the City, Natural Vampires and those who
had been Made. No one was quite sure where the first Natural Vampires had come from,
or how long they had been around, but Made Vampires had only become common within
the last century. Vampires were Made when a human was fed upon by a Vampire and
then drank fully-human blood themselves. Made Vampires tended to be high-strung and
mentally unstable, oftentimes because they had resisted the Making and fought against
the urge to drink human blood with everything in them for weeks, sometimes months,
only rarely more than a year. Those who had been fed upon but had not yet given in to
that desire were labeled Half-Turned, and were often just as dangerous as the Vampires
themselves; in all the histories handed down though the many families of Hunters, there
had never been a case recorded where a Half-Turned did not slowly go insane with
bloodlust. The only way to avoid it was to give in, though research had shown that the
madness could be slowed by drinking the blood of other Half-Turned. Drinking the blood
of a Vampire did nothing but make them stronger, and even a Half-Turned was nearly as
strong and fast as a full Vampire.
It was the job of the Hunters to keep the general population safe from the
Vampires, and also to keep the number of Vampires in check. They had done so for
centuries, information, responsibility, and sometimes special abilities (magic and the like)
passed down through certain families for generations. Until recently, both Hunters and
Vampires had been fairly uncommon; only within the past century, with the sudden
increase in the number of Made Vampires and the subsequent formation of the Hunters
Union, had the two become publicly acknowledged. Patrols of Hunters in their standard
Union uniforms were now a familiar sight in the City, and only very foolish or very brave
civilians chanced the streets after sundown. Everyone knew now what roamed the City at
night.
Sakura began picking her way through the old building more quickly. Now that
she knew beyond a doubt who was responsible for this slaughter, there was no reason to
look at any more of the bodies, and even if this nest had been emptied, she didnt want to
be caught in this part of town too long after nightfall.
***
A whisper of sound, the faintest stirring of the air off to her left was the only
warning she had before the Vampire was almost on top her. To say shed been expecting
it wouldve been giving her too much credit, but she was ready for it nonetheless, already
halfway through a powerful flat swing with her Hunters stave by the time her brain
caught up with her reflexes.
The stave caught the Vampire, a hideously deformed, almost rocklike thing, in
the side of the head, upsetting its balance and sending it sprawling sideways with a snarl;
before it could recover, Sakura had punched a cleverly-hidden button on the stave,
freeing the spring-loaded Blessed silver blade, and swept the stave-turned-scythe around
and down in a mighty overhanded arc. Blood splattered the already saturated carpet, flesh
sizzled at the touch of silver, and the monstrous Vampire let out an agonized shriek,
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convulsing around the blade lodged in its chest that pinned it to the marble floor like an
insect in a childs collection.
Without letting go of the scythes shaft, and without a seconds hesitance,
Sakura brought the gun in her other hand to bear, settling it squarely between the
creatures eyes and squeezing off two quick shots. Double-tapping like that was a simple
safety precaution: it was unlikely for someone to survive a single headshot; it was next to
impossible for them to survive two, Vampire or not, and Sakura wasnt the type to take
any chances.
As the echo of the gunshots faded away and the body slumped to the ground, it
started to shift back into its original, more human-looking form. Sakura watched warily
sometimes these shifts were a ruse, playing dead to lower a Hunters defenses and enable
one final attackbut with the top half of its head missing, she doubted it was a trick this
time. Still, for some reason she watched, until (quite suddenly, it felt like) she found
herself looking down into the vacant reddish-orange eyes of a surprisingly young-looking
Vampire. She frowned, checking and double-checking both sides of his neck, but there
was no scara Natural Vampire.
Natural Vampires were somewhat rare, and were born from the union of two
Vampires, Made or Natural, it didnt matter. They were also considered something like
Nobility among the Vampires since they tended to be stronger and have special abilities,
such as the monstrous form this one had exhibited. That meant, among other things, that
it was somewhat unusual to find them in places like this without some sort of reason
Sakura holstered her handgun then, with a low grunt of effort, wrenched her
scythe freea two-handed job, since it had buried itself deeply in both the Vampire
corpse and the stone floor beneath itand as the weapon finally tore away, she caught
herself staring at the boys face again, pausing in the middle of wiping her blade clean.
Maybe it was because she was in a church for the first time in years, or maybe it
had something to do with the fact that this Vampire had so obviously been close to her
own age, or maybe it was something else entirely, but Sakura found herself murmuring a
snatch of the ancient prayer her teacher had always said in times like this, words the
Hunters Union in all its political correctness would doubtless have frowned upon:
Miseretur tui omnpotens Deus.
May God have mercy on you.
She started to cross herself, then stopped, her hand settling on the gun strapped
to her thigh instead as she looked down at the still form grimly; without another word,
she turned her back on it and continued on her way.
***
He was here. She knew it the instant she stepped into the Northern Transept, and
her grip tightened on the handle of her gun, tensely ready to draw at the slightest possible
threat. The smell of blood was stronger here, and fresher too, which meant Vampires
werent the only corpses shed find there.
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She found him in the Lady Chapel, slumped against the far wall, just out of the
reach of the sun filtering through the intricate stained glass window above him, though
her attention was riveted solely on him.
He was surrounded by corpses, piled so high and mangled so badly that if she
hadnt been searching specifically for him, she mightve overlooked him altogether. He
was an island in a sea of bloodhis own and that of the bodies surrounding himand a
closer look showed that he had been horribly wounded: ribs were showing through a
gaping hole torn in his side, one shoulder was dislocated, one arm and at least one of his
legs were broken, but that was nothing for a Vampire. So long as they could still feed,
they could recover from injuries that wouldve killed a normal human outright. But when
shed seen him last, Sasuke had still only been Half-Turned, and had refused to drink
human blood, though from the reports shed heard and the look of the corpses
surrounding him, Hunters and Vampires alike
You wouldnt be here right now if you didnt think there was a chance that hed
already become one of Them.
Sasuke was a big mark; by all rights, Sakura knew she shouldnt have tried to
take him on alone, but this was Sasuke. Theyd grown up together, trained together, and
theyd even been partners once upon a time, perhaps in more ways than one, and she
owed him at least that much loyalty. She had to try.
Still, everything she felt for him, all those warm and worried feelings couldnt
stop an instinctive pang of fear from thrilling through her when his eyes snapped open,
snapped up to lock with hers.
Red.
Blood red.
Still not Turned, but far too close.
The eye contact was briefSakura knew better than to draw it out, knowing the
primal aspect so prominent in Half-Turned and Made Vampires often caused them to take
that as a challenge, and knowing as well that more than a few Vampires had the power to
bewitch and entice, putting you under their control by way of nothing more than a simple
glanceand so she turned her eyes away, upwards, focusing on the coloured panels of
glass above him and the sunlight streaming through them.
Sasuke caught her gaze, and briefly turned his own upwards to look at the
brightly coloured glass as well.
Saint Michael.
The words were quiet and unstrained despite his condition, and Sakura caught
herself holding her breath to make sure she didnt miss any of them. How long had it
been since shed last heard that voice?
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Archangel. Patron saint of police officers, paramedics, marinersand the
sick.
And no one could be considered more sick than I am right now.
The implication did not go unnoticed by Sakura, though she didnt interrupt, and
Sasuke continued, calm and coldly matter-of-fact:
Most often depicted carrying scalesfor judgmentalong with a sword and
bannerand treading upon a great serpent.
His attention had focused somewhere behind her, and though Sakura hadnt
sensed anyone there, she turned her head slightly out of curiosity, still keeping half an
eye on Sasukeat least until she caught sight of what he was looking at.
There was a body nailed to the stone wall, bits of black, rusted metal that looked
like they had once been parts of a heavy iron grille, like the portcullis that had once
defended the cathedrals mighty front doors, driven through the wrists and ankles,
holding it there spread-eagled.
Whoever it was had had their throat torn out, the wound so savagely thorough
that the spine was easily visible, dully gleaming in the failing sunlight; there was hardly a
scrap of skin or tissue left between the figures shredded shoulders and slackly gaping
jaw. He (the corpse was male, Sakura could still tell that much) had been disemboweled
as well, ribs and backbone showing through there also, though only in patches. The
bloodstains on the wall and the half-dried pool of scarlet beneath the figure made it
obvious that the killingthe torturehad been done there, that whoever it was had most
likely still been alive when hed been brought to St. Michael's.
There was too much damage, too much blood on the face, especially around the
right eye, for a positive ID, but Sakura caught the gleam of metal lying against the wall at
the edge of the spatters of gore: a pair of dogtags. She had to use a fingernail to scrape
away some of the blood before she could read the name engraved on them: Danzou.
The head of the Hunters Union. She turned wide, worried eyes back on her
former partner. Sasuke
He was Half-Turned himself. Did you know that? The Union isnt what you
think, Sakura. They have their own motives for everything. Everything, he said again,
more firmly, when Sakura opened her mouth to protest. Why do you think the number
of Made Vampires is higher than its ever been when there are so many capable Hunters
available? Theyre not trying to save anyone, theyre trying to take over. And what better
way to do it than a slow slide into martial law.
Swallowing around the sudden lump in her throat was difficult, but Sakura
managed to get out a quiet, if not entirely strong, How do you know this? She knew
all too well how he knew, but she asked anyway. Shed more than half known most of it
herself, and had suspected it for even longer. It certainly explained a lotthe scrambled
messages in the top-secret files shed accidentally hacked into last month, the
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increasingly stricter views and policies the Hunters Union had been authorizing and
enforcing, Danzou abruptly replacing Tsunade as the head of the Hunters Union a few
years back, without warning or even a call for a vote...
Itachi.
Sakura started at the name, though she was more surprised by the tone hed
spoken it in. Gone was the hatred, the all-consuming rage and bloodlust, in its place, a
hollow sort of pain, a sadness and a deep regret.
A tone that warned her to be wary with her next words. Sasuke, she began
slowly, cautiously, I know he was your brother, and that you were very close, butafter
what happened, what he becameit can change some people so much, so do you really
think hes?
He did it for me.
Sakura could only look at him, dumbfounded into silence as she tried to grasp
what Sasuke was telling her, that all this time...
He did it for me, he said again, this time scarcely a whisper, the words a
broken confession or a ragged prayer. They all did. He let himself be Tainted and
Turned, and theyjust gave themselves to him, gave him their power, knowing that he
would need itthat I would need itto fight, to avenge themto survive.
Diablerie, Sakura murmured, and Sasuke nodded. The transfer of power and
certain innate abilities through consuming anothers bloodenough blood for it to be
fatal to the victim. It had been outlawed entirely by the Hunters Union on that
assemblys formation, and it had been considered taboo by the various clans of Hunters
long centuries before that. Drinking the blood of a Vampire couldnt Turn you, though it
did give the one who drank it supernatural strength; however, there were still all sorts of
possible risks involved, especially considering the fact that the effects of diablerie were
compounded. The power gained through it would be not only that of the drained
Vampire, but all the power of any Vampiresor Huntersthat Vampire had drained.
The sudden power surge could be painful and dangerous, both physically and mentally,
more so to humans than to Vampires, and there had been various different side-effects
whispered about, everything from growing fangs and losing the ability to stand strong
against sunlight to requiring some sort of blood to supplement, if not fully supplant, their
diet. Of course, technically all of that was mere gossip, almost folklore, since none of the
clans would (or lawfully could) admit to the practise, though it doubtlessly still took
place among a few of them.
Sakura shook her head, backtracking a little. I thought Madara was to blame for
all the new Made Vampires.
Sasuke gave a mirthless chuckle. Madara is dead.
How
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After what I just told you about Itachi, about my family, do you really think
anyone else could have done this to me?
Sakura closed her mouth with a snap, then shook her head again, only to lift her
chin a moment later with a noteworthy measure of defiance and say, Naruto.
Madara had to die, Sasuke continued, pointedly ignoring the mention of his
best friend. He was dealing with the Union. Maybe he was the one who started twisting
it in the first place. But he was the one who decided that my familyonce his family,
toohad to die. They were too strong, and they never would have let someone like
Danzou take over the Hunters Union, or let the Union try to be more than it was
supposed to be. He smiled, but there was no warmth in it; only cold satisfaction made
that much more ghastly by all the blood and carnage surrounding him, staining his
clothes, his face, his eyes. And so the Half-Turned killed the Original Vampire.
But at what cost? Sakura added silently, not knowing that Sasuke was doing the
same.
Why are you telling me all this, Sakura said, not really a question so much
as a desperate attempt to let him prove her wrong, because she already knew the answer,
knew there could really only be one reason. Itsits not like you
Because someone has to know. Someone has to remember, and make sure the
truth gets written down in the annals and histories and the Hunters Records. Someone
has to stop them, and Im not a part of the Hunters Union any more, so its not my fight.
And now that Ive fulfilled my purpose, theres nothing left for me, nothing left that I still
want. Theres no reason for me to resist the Taint anymore.
Except, perhaps, one thing.
Sakura.
Whether shed forgotten, or she just trusted him too much to be wary of that
kind of trick, this time she didnt flinch away from making solid eye contact, and
suddenly it seemed like a very good idea to move closer, to kneel right beside him and
allow his fingers to trail along her arm, her neck, her jaw, to let him lean forward and kiss
her. She started to resist at first, some inborn survival instinct insisting that this was a
trap, that this was dangerous and she should be running, but his mouth was warm, and
the gentle tug of his teeth on her lower lip was comforting in its familiarity, and she let
her eyes drift close as she opened her mouth to his. She realised with a hazy sort of
awareness that Sasuke had pulled her down into his lap, that she was straddling his hips,
but instead of panicking, she let herself melt into the unexpectedly intense kiss
Only to jerk back as the metallic taste of blood flooded her mouth. It wasnt
hers, it couldnt be, she reassured herself as she pushed him away and scrambled
backwards off his lap, because it tasted different, and it was strangely coolnot cold, just
not quite as warm as hers would have been. She coughed and spat but she was certain
shed swallowed some already, and she knew far too well that in these sorts of situations,
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any at all was too much. Still, if she could move fast enough and make herself throw
up
Dont. There was an uncanny sort of power in that single word that made it a
command, and Sakura obeyed without consciously thinking about it, watching but not
retreating any further as he leaned towards her again. It wont Turn you or Taint you
Reaching up, he gently caught her face between his hands, pulling her back to him, close
enough that she could feel his words on her lips. And the more you drink of it, the
better. The stronger youll be.
His mouth found hers once more, enticing her lips to part, slipping more of his
blood past them with each careful tug and pull of his mouth on hersand that was when
Sakura realised what Sasuke was really doing:
He was giving her his power. All of it. Diablerie.
No, she gasped, breaking off the kiss, trying to sit back, to pull away,
anything that would put some space between them. I dont want it
But youll need it. His expression was hard, harder than it had ever been now
that he was Tainted, and a brief meeting of eyes was all it took to silence her protests.
From now on, youll need all the power and strength you can get.
She didnt agree, and it was obvious that she didnt like it. But she didnt
disagree either. Sakura had always been smart: he was reasonably certain that she knew
that this was the only way he could protect her now. Hed been fighting the Taint for a
long time, and hed held up surprisingly well, a lot longer than the Hunters Records had
said was even possible. But it was ultimately a losing battle; hed known that from the
first, before hed ever allowed himself to become a Half-Turned, but hed chosen it
anyway. Hed needed it, needed the strength it promised and the power it bestowed.
But it was a one-way street: there was no cure, no way to turn a Vampire back
into a human. Hed seen the signs; he knew he was slowly losing control, losing himself,
and now that hed done what hed had to do, what hed let himself be changed into a
monster for, now that hed finally gotten his revenge, Sasuke knew that it had to end
before he lost himself completely and did something hed regret.
Which was why hed let her find him.
The hands cupping her face were gentle but firm, strong fingers digging into her
neck and the little hollows below her ears with just enough pressure to let her know that
she wouldnt be able to break away from him again.
He eyed her closely, watching as she gave an almost imperceptible nod and
leaned into the next kiss, letting him seal his mouth against hers again and again, pouring
himself into her until he felt weak and emptybut even now, he knew he could change
his mind. Even in this weakened state, he was still many times stronger than she was; all
he had to do was feed on her and hed get it all back and more besides.
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He knew the idea should be a tempting one, especially with how good she
tasted, how perfectly her body still fit against his, how flawlessly she matched her
movements to his. It should have been alluring, exciting, a reflexive impulse almost
impossible to refuse.
Somehow, it wasnt.
End it, he panted, knowing that weariness was the only thing still keeping his
thirst in check. Now. Weariness, and perhaps that one other thing
SasukeI still love you.
His expression didnt change in the least, nor did his gaze waver, and for a
moment that felt much longer than it really was, they merely looked at each other. Then
the tightness in the skin around his eyes eased, his eyelids lowering fractionally, and he
bowed his head, an uncharacteristic movement fraught with submission, defeat, and
acceptance.
Thats why youre the one who has to end this, he said softly. And why Im
letting you. A subtle suggestion of the word because lingered around momentarily
pursed lips, but his mouth tightened before it or any words that might have followed it
could escape.
Instead, he reached out, lightly pushing her away, letting his hand slide across
her not-quite-flat midriff with the tiniest trace of a smile. He could feel it already, could
hear it and even smell it, that life, but he knew it would be a while longer before Sakura
herself knew. She wouldnt have come here if shed knownor would she? She could be
so annoyingly stubborn about these things
Dont take these kinds of risks anymore, he added, letting his gaze run over
her as she stood, though his eyesight was already growing a little dim, a little wavery at
the edges. Theres too much at stake.
Sakura nodded, but she didnt miss the way his eyes had lingered just half a
second too long on her throat as he looked up at her, a simple observation that hurt more
than it shouldve. It reinforced the already painful truth that what shed come here to do
was indeed necessary; that if hed even consider attacking her, however fleeting that
consideration might be, he was just as much of a threat to the City as any fully-Turned
Vampire. Still, her hand trembled as she raised her gun, setting the sight wavering, briefly
hovering on his forehead before skittering down and away, settling on the empty air
beside his shoulder instead.
She wanted to refuse. She wanted to give up, to turn around and go back the way
shed come, and forget any of this had ever happened. She wanted to feel his lips against
hers once more, his body pressing down on her, his mouth on the pulse in her throat. She
wanted to stay with him, to be what he would be, to be with him forever, even if she
knew it would be a nightmarish forever full of darkness.
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She wanted to cry, because she knew she was too strong to allow herself any of
those easy outs, and she loved him too much to let him become one of Them.
Swallowing her tears and another confession that she knew wouldve only come
out broken, wouldve only hurt both of them even more, she simply looked at him, her
face saying it all, his betraying nothing, though maybe there was the slightest hint of a
curve to one side of his mouth, and maybe his eyes were just a bit softer than usual, and
maybe the words hed never said aloud were, if not audible, then instead somehow
tangible for that short space of time.
The moment stretched on until Sasuke gave a minute nod, his gaze steady on her
face, not closing his eyes or looking away even at the last.
Pressing her lips together in a grim line, Sakura raised the gun once more,
holding it steady with both hands this time, sighted down the barrel again, and without
another flicker of hesitance, firedtwice.
White Walls
Dear Sasuke,
I dont like the walls here.
Theyre white, or at least something like that. Maybe its more of an off-white
color, just between peach and beige. Im not all that sure to be honest, because it all really
depends on the lights. But then again, arent all white walls like that? Its color changes
depending on the hue of the bulbs thatll illuminate it, right?
Maybe theyre getting to methe walls, I mean. Maybe seeing them every
damn day is affecting me, making me lose my mind. I hate it here, Sasuke. I just want to
go home. Why the hell am I here?
But you know, Ive met this boy. Dont worry, theres no need to be jealous,
hes only thirteen. Hes irritatingly loud, but hes nice, I guess. I cant remember his
name since I only spoke to him once. He kind of reminds me of Naruto, except like, hes
suicidal and cuts himself. Sort of. I cant help but feel slightly amused at the criss-crosses
running down his wrist. I think it looks a little silly, like some morbid board just waiting
to have tic-tac-toe played on it.
I dont like it when people cut their wrists. They seem fake to me. In my
opinion, those people dont really want to die. They just want someone to realize that
theyre hurting and that they want some help. Dont you think so too? If you want to die,
like really die, then just slice up the artery somewhere in the upper-arm. Or the jugular
perhaps. Isnt that the best way to ensure death using a knife?
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Hanging is a good one too, though. I mean, once youre up there flailing from
the lack of air, you cant take it back. Its really one of those whats-done-is-done
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situations. Youll be dead and all before anything else.
Dont worry though, I havent gone suicidal. I wasnt trying to kill myself when
I had that overdose. Honestly, that was an accident. Plus, I wasnt starving myself to
death. I just wanted to be pretty. Was that so wrong?
And do you remember that one time when you saw me cut myself? I was just
being like that boy. I know which places are vital to cut but I did it to my thighs,
anyways. And its not even that deep, but just enough to make some kind of mark. To
make a bloody little line. To make something, like a scar. For some attention. Im
horrible, arent I?
But then again, its not like Ill show off my thighs to get attention. Im not the
girl with the shallow slits on her wrists just so people will look at her. Maybe its for my
amusement. I know, I know. Thats just messed up.
Or maybe because 95% of blood is water, according to what Ive read. But thats
obvious, right? I mean, blood is a liquid. And about 55% of the body is made of water. So
maybe if I bleed more, then Ill lose weight and I wont have to starve myselfwell, not
that I can do either of those now.
But if I can, wont that be totally great?
Well, I have to go to my group therapy now, Sasuke.
I love you. Ill see you soon, okay?
Love,
Sakura
***
Dear Sasuke,
I really miss everyone.
I miss my mom, Naruto, Ino, Kakashi and just everyone maybe even my dad.
I miss you, too. Maybe the most, but Im not too sure.
Theres a part of me that blames you, you know. It makes sense though, because
instead of wasting anymore of my breath in wishing youre here, hoping that maybe you
willIm telling myself that this is your entire fault. Sometimes, when Im in the art
room ripping papers into little squares so I can make paper cranes, I wish Im ripping you
apart.
You didnt have to bring me to the hospital. I wouldve puked it up, Im sure. I
just wanted to sleep. And it was a one time thing. I was just mad. My dad came home and
he was being a total bastard. He told me I was useless and that I probably wasnt even
his. When I was younger, I used to wish I wasnt. You know, he should be here, not me.
Paranoia isnt very flattering, dont you think?
But back to you. Yeah, screw you, Sasuke.
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I only did it because I wanted a break. I just wanted to sleep. The pills never
worked when I took them right, so I usually just didnt bother. I was just so tired that
night Sasuke. I took two at first, I swear. Then after an hour, I took another two or
three or more. I dont remember.
We used to do drugs together, remember? You, me and Naruto would hangout at
the elementary schools playground and smoke weed at like, two in the morning. I used
to make you push me on the swings because that made the high feel even more amazing.
I almost miss it, you knowthe three of us together, the high, the fun.
I miss a lot of things.
Thanks a lot, for bringing me here.
You might be happy to know that I ate my breakfast this morning. I had half a
bowl of oatmeal and five bites of my apple. The doctors were really proud of me, you
know and said that I was finally making progress.
Theyre going to weigh me tomorrow morning before breakfast to see if Ive
gained any weight since I came in. I really hate you, you know, for not only telling them
Im suicidal, but also that Im anorexic as well. Oh well, Im assuming it was you.
Im scared, though. I know Ive barely eaten, but I havent exercised either so
Im sure I still weigh the same. What if I really havent changed, Sasuke? What if they
make me stay even longer?
Sasuke, why is everyone trying to tell me what to do?
My life is mine, right?
Love,
Sakura
***
Dear Sasuke,
Help, Im alive.
Im feeling things. I know Im alive. Im trembling and stumbling and it seems
like these peoplethese doctors, and nurses, and the other fucking nuts Im stuck with
are going to eat me alive.
I hate it here, I just cant stand it. Im angry. Im alone and the walls, the stupid
goddamned walls, are just all the fuck around me! I want to go home, Sasuke,
I dont want to be here anymore.
Can you just come get me? Please, Sasuke?
We can go back to how things used to be, you know. Itll be wonderful. We can
go buy something nice from Shikamaru and smoke it up where we used to.
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You know, when you carried me to your car after I took too many sleeping pills,
Sasuke, I was a bit coherent. I think. I may have been imagining it but I swear you said,
What the heck is wrong with you? to my not-completely-unconscious-self. Im not sure
since its all hazy that I dont remember anything past that question. The next thing I
know, Im in the psych ward.
I told you though, in my last letter, that I was angry. I told you why I was mad at
my dad, but not why I was mad at you, at the world and everything else.
Maybe its because I dont know. Maybe Im just that messed up.
Maybe, despite all my complaints, its good that Im here.
You didnt expect that, did youI can complain all I want and Ill probably take
this back later, but since Im too neurotic to scratch out what Ive already written down,
Ill let you have it: you did me a favor by bringing me here.
Theyre really taking care of me here. All I have in my room is a bed, a night
table with a really ugly lamp, a desk, and a chair.
Theres nothing other than those few pieces. They think Ill try to kill myself,
but I like to think Im pretty creative. I can use the legs of the chair, or the bulb in my
lamp to do something nasty. Havent they thought of that?
Oh, wow, it looks like Ive strayed from the topic. What was the topic, anyway?
Whatever, this letter is getting too long anyways.
Who knows? Maybe now that Ive shared my little secret youll reply.
Love,
Sakura
***
Dear Sasuke,
You still havent responded. You havent replied to anything, you bloody
coward. Stop being a wimp and talk to me! What the hell is your problem?
Im in a room with big white walls, with doctors, and nurses, and counsellors
who think theyre so great for helping us. They look at me like Im crazy, Sasuke.
I hate it.
I want to go home, Sasuke. I hate you, you fucking bastard.
What happened to loving me, and taking care of me, and helping me, and
supporting me, and all that complete bull? What happened to that whole us thing?
Where the heck are you, bastard?
I got a visit, you know. It was Ino. I told her Ive been sending letters and when
I asked her what your problem was, she changed the subject. Im guessing that youve
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been too down or whatever to pick up a bloody pen to send me a hello or an I miss
you or even better, to move your ass and visit me.
Maybe youll try to kill yourself, too. Maybe one of these days, while sitting in
the lounge with the boy who reminds me of Naruto, Ill hear a Guys, someone new will
be joining our group therapy this evening, okay?. And youll enter with all your aloof
glory bearing cuts all over your upper arms because you really did read my first letter.
I miss you, Sasuke. Im angry at you, of course I am. I mean, you brought me to
this hell-hole, but I miss you. I miss your arms around me. I miss your kisses, your touch.
I miss lying in your bed after a nice, hard lay while stroking your hair because when
youre sleeping, you dont look half as threatening as you are when youre awake.
Freaking hell, Sasuke, I need to go home.
I need to get out of here.
They say that maybe, just maybe, if I start eating and stop being so sullen, then
Ill probably be out by the end of the month.
Thats great, right?
I hope youll pick me up, Sasuke. I guess Ill like my mom to do it, too, but I
hate how she cant cry. Shell just pat my head and give me some clothes and lug me
home. I know for sure I dont want my dad to come, though.
I want you to pick me up, okay? Please Sasuke, tell me youll be the one to
come get me?
Or at least, come with my mom, okay? Knowing that Ill see you after all this
crap makes getting through it much easier.
I miss you.
Love,
Sakura
***
Dear Sasuke,
Sometimes I wonder what happened during that time between you asking what
the heck is wrong with me and me waking up with an IV in my arm, alone in the hospital.
No one told me. I mean, the only person who came to see me was my mom and hell if she
knew anything.
Why wont you come see me, Sasuke?
You were in the hospital too, considering that you brought me here. So where
the hell are you?
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Its okay to lie, you know. If you actually, for once, respond, I mean. I wont
mind if you tell me that youve been bedridden because youve seen a teddy bear that you
just know Ill love but while trying to get it, some big, bulky, fat guy also wants to get it
for his pregnant wife; the two of you got into a giant brawl that couldve lead to two
scenarios.
Its either youve ended up being beaten so badly you couldnt get out of bed,
which I know wont happen, or that youve been banned from the hospital because of the
fight.
Either way, itll satisfy me.
But then again, anything from you will satisfy me.
I dont get why you havent written back to me, much less visited me. I mean,
Ino and my mom visited me, Kakashi came by to drop off a box of chocolates, so where
the heck are you?
Well, in any case, Naruto came this morning. He said he didnt have class until
noon so he stuck around for an hour or two. We just sat in the lounge and watched
Jeopardy. I got all the answers right. Its funny how Naruto couldnt get anything at all.
I still have my intelligence, you know, despite all the shit Ive done. I guess my
brain cells are just that impervious even against the drugs Ive taken.
To be honest, being around Naruto reminds me of the old times so much that it
almost depresses me.
But dont worry, Sasuke. I wont let something as stupid as nostalgia hinder my
chances of finally getting out of here. I miss you too much for that.
We should go out for dinner when I get out.
Youll be proud of me, Sasuke. I eat three full meals a day now. The doctors all
think Ive conquered my eating disorder, and the idea of seeing you again has been
keeping my spirits pretty high. I think all I need is one more good assessment, and
finally, I can see you again.
Im really excited.
I hope you are too.
Love,
Sakura
***
Dear Sasuke,
Naruto came by again. I told him that Ill be discharged in three days and asked
him to tell you just in case you didnt know. Knowing Naruto, though, you probably
wont know until you get this letter.
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He doesnt like to talk about you for some reasonsame with Ino and Kakashi
and my mom. Whenever I bring you up they all just go silent and change the subject.
I dont get it.
Are you seeing someone? Is that why they wont talk about you? Are they trying
to save me from the pain of finding out that you didnt wait for me, Sasuke? What is it?
Its getting pretty annoying, you knowjust like these freaking walls.
They still piss me off whenever I see them, which is always. The fucking white,
light-dependant wallsI feel like theyre going to close in around me, Sasuke, and its
kind of scary.
You used to call me annoying. Its probably the first thing youre going to say to
me when I get out, Im sure. You always call me annoying, but I see through the insult,
you know. You can never fool me. And also, that time I said I loved you and all you
could manage was the usual Hn, dont worry, I understand it.
I miss you so much.
I really wish youll come by at least once before I leave. Itll be nice to think
back on this stupid rehabilitation and know that you visited.
Where are you, Sasuke? Has your dad been drilling you over your marks again?
You should really just tell him that you dont want to enter the police academy, you
know. Itll make you happier and will take a lot of the strain off your relationship with
him.
Or maybe its you whos drilling the marks. Oh, Sasuke, please dont tell me
youve forgotten what I always tell you about overstressing yourself.
I hope you dont turn out like me, or at least, make the same mistakes I have
done.
Shit, I really, really hope you fix your daddy problems so you dont end up in a
goddamned hospital like me. The food sucks, the company gets annoying after a bit and
the walls are just there.
I cant wait to see you again, Sasuke.
Well be good together this time, okay?
I change my mind about getting some drugs. I only want us. We can take it slow
and steady and fall in love all over again and itll be amazing, Sasuke. Itll be me and
you, always.
Wow, just three more days.
Ill see you then.
Love,
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Sakura
***
Dear Sasuke,
You didnt come.
Where the heck are you?
My mom didnt come either. Kakashi came to pick me up, but hes my uncle so
of course he came. He said my mom had to deal with a client, Ino and Naruto were in
school and my dad was just being my dad.
He didnt mention you though, so I had to ask.
It was really weird, Sasuke. He said you died.
I dont get it.
Thats not very funny, I told him. I was really pissed. That wasnt the sort of
joke a person would want to hear after getting out of rehab. I wouldve tolerated a my,
Sakura, did you gain weight?, but telling me you died was not laugh-worthy, even for an
idiot like Kakashi.
Kakashi, that insensitive bastard, persisted though. I didnt freaking understand.
Just why the hell was he pushing it?
I dont like this, Sasuke.
Where are you?
Im not going back to school until the next year starts. I guess its too late, huh?
Maybe we can go get our books together, okay?
Itll be nice, I promise. Dont worry, I wont make you carry them for me.
I cant wait to see you.
Love,
Sakura
***
Dear Sasuke,
Im at home now. I eat three times a day and even a snack or two, and I smile a
little. Ive written my dad a letter since I think Ive gotten pretty good at them.
Oh, and your brother came by. It was weird. He returned all the letters I sent to
you, and oddly enough, they were all still in their envelopes. Sasuke, Im really confused.
He said you died.
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I told him to go screw himself and called your cell but it said the number was no
longer in use.
Youre right, Sasuke. Itachi is a complete bastard.
He kept telling me you were dead so I told him to get the heck out.
Sasuke, he said you got into an accident. He told me that when you were driving
me to the emergency room that night, you were hit by a drunk driver. And that I got to
the hospital because an ambulance came for us both. He said that was how I really got
there.
Itachis just lying right, Sasuke?
Hes just being cruel. I know it.
Youre not dead.
Love,
Sakura
***
Dear Sasuke,
I visited your grave today.
Naruto brought me. Apparently, Kakashi and Itachi told him that I refused to
believe you were dead. They said I couldnt accept the fact that youre gone.
Its so surreal; seeing your name imprinted on that piece of stone, standing on
top of your rotting corpse. The only reason I can still write right now is because its
barely sunken in.
Youre dead. Whats up with that?
Its my fault, isnt it?
Its my entire fault.
You were driving me to the hospital because I was such a self-centred little
bitch. All I ever thought about was myself and my issues. God, Sasuke, I miss you. I miss
you so much.
I cried, if that makes you feel better. I cried a lot. I cried so much that my throat
hurts and my eyes are puffy and my cheeks are red. You probably dont appreciate that,
huh? I doubt youll like some stupid little girl sobbing all over your grave.
Well, will you look at that? Its sinking in. Sorry about the tear drops on the
paper.
Sasuke, I can only hope you forgive me. God, Im so sorry for being so screwed
up and problematic and the cause of your death.
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I want to tell you one more time that I love you.
I wish I can see you again.
I miss you, Sasuke.
Love,
Sakura
***
Dear Sasuke,
So I think Ive come to a conclusion.
Im going to be a better person from now on, okay?
No more drinking, no more smoking, no more of that complete shit. Im going
to focus on my studies, maybe do a little community service here and there, and
hopefully become a doctor.
A surgeon, to be more specific.
After Id accepted the fact that youre gone, I talked to Itachi. He told me you
died in the middle of surgery. I didnt ask for the details because it hurtstill hurtstoo
much.
Im going to save people, Sasuke. Im going to save them for you.
I wont let anyone go through what I am right now. No, Im not going to let that
happen.
You know, sometimes when I close my eyes, I see youand its painful. Its
like hunger. Remember when I was an idiotic anorexic? Its excruciating to just open my
eyes because I should eat to live.
Now, it just feels like it aches to breathe because I need you to live.
Im coping though, Sasuke.
If you see me crying, I know what youll say. Youll tell me Im annoying,
right? I wish youll do that, though. I wish youre sitting beside me now, telling me to
stop crying because Im annoying you.
I love you so much I cant even stand it.
Thank you, Sasuke. You didnt read my letters but you were there for me. You
were what got me through that time in the hospital.
I miss you.
Ill never forget you.
Love,
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Sakura
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Once upon a time, there lived a determined boy who sold his heart and soul in his quest for
vengeance and a determined girl who transcended mediocrity in her quest to reclaim him from his
demons. In all the countless renditions of this two lives convergence, no matter what adversity tore
their hands asunder, the red thread of fate always led them back to each others grasp. Be it in the
smart, well-polished halls of your average high school or the labyrinthine, decaying streets of a
post-apocalyptic ghost town, these stories of dramatic twists, serious life questions, and, of course,
epic romance, come together as fractured fairy tales.
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Ad Astra
So if its raining...
Her words are like indelible ink that paints images in his mind, creating sporadic halos
with varying shades of unknown pastels.
They wont meet again for a year?
For once, he does not let his acerbic words lash on her nave, little question. He does not
have the heart to do so as she raises her crystalline-clear green eyes to the sky, a solemn
contemplation on her face.
stockton california | late august | 1941
He was drifting, mind half-awake and his body refusing to wake up from the
stray, gentle raindrop that fell on his brow, dispersing to form wet trails down the bridge
of his nose.
But when he half-opened his eyes, he stilled, noticing that it was actually moist
and cold fingers splayed, tracing the curves of his face.
His blurred sight registered a small, pleased smile curved above a round chin.
And before the action was fully registered in his mind, he moved.
His hand shot out to hold the delicate wrist in a vise-like grip.
Trained first to subdue before asking anything, with a painful twist, he was
about to tackle the intruder to the ground when a startled cry pierced his ear and a frantic
kick hit his shins. His sleep-addled mind cleared with the rush of blood, now
overwrought as to how someone managed to enter the place. He relied on the haunted
reputation of the destroyed sanctuary to render anyone fleeing just with its sight,
guaranteeing him a perfect place to hide in.
He caught a whiff of fragrant petrichor when she breathed in awe, Youre real.
An impassive half-lidded glare narrowed further. This prompted her arms to
instinctively retract back to her shivering body, but he insistently held on.
Who. Barely holding back the irritation seeping in his reply, he slowly leveled
his spine, fully covering her scrawny form. Are you?
She seemed stunned at the intense reaction, along with the surely bruising hold.
Sorry, she managed a muffled honest apology. I didnt know someone was
here.
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Deeming it no longer necessary, he slackened his hold and managed a half-
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kneel. The girl quickly scuttled on her knees about an arms length away from him,
timidly holding his assessing gaze.
His unwelcomed visitor, wearing a light colored dress two sizes bigger than her
small form, was smeared with dirt. Her attire was almost threadbare, nearly classified as
rags. The charred blots on her rumpled apron told him that she was working or lounging
on places where coals were used to feed factory fires.
No clearer glow from his dying lantern could further illuminate her features, but
he could see irisesalmond-wide and spring-greenpeering behind the shorn strands of
soft pink. Drenched carnation hair barely reached her chin, with a few of its ends
adhering at the sides of her pale lips. There was a small knapsack and a thick stack of
newspapers beside the rice paper doors, her plausible quilt and pillow for the evening.
This girl, though cowering from the oppressive hush, was brave enough to break
inside a deserted temple. Furthermore, despite belonging to a lower caste, her words were
formal and eloquent. The phrases were spoken courteously, with faint sing-song
inflections different from the usual speech.
Who are you?
Sakura.
Raising a thin brow in disbelief, he glared pointedly at the bright contrast of her
near albino-like features. Youre not Japanese.
My name is Sakura, she reiterated as her bent heels tensed, ready to bolt away
in case he tried to do anything. She disregarded the fact that he was still scrutinizing the
odd color of her hair, the traces of soot that hid its hue still evident. Nice to meet you.
Tonight, Ill be accompanying you and
You can find your own way out, he curtly interrupted her introduction, having
no patience to spare.
youre rude, her heated response incessantly filled the much needed quiet.
This is a temple. The people from the stalls even told me that no one would attempt to
enter such a place except for dire protection.
Her tone then shifted to something that he recognized very well: a kettle making
a solid accusation that his fellow pot was black.
So you shouldnt be here as well. Dont tell me you didnt see those big red
letters of no trespassers allowed?
I own this place.
This place?

This place has been abandoned for months!

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I told you to get out.
His hiss terrified her as he halfway rose to his full height. The false bravado was
gone, as she realized her mistake of raising the ire of a stranger in an abandoned place.
Im sorry! The beggarhe thought of her as one, what with her disheveled
cinder-covered appearancesettled her balance on the balls of her feet and placed her
palms and forehead flat on the damp, rotten floor. Ill be out of here first thing in the
morning.
When she dared to meekly raise her head, he was satisfied to see that the
remaining rutiliant color on her cheeks was drained to ashen white. Just let me stay for
the night.
The sad state of this halltorn rice-paper doors, destroyed mint cotton mats,
and soggy, unpolished slabs of wooden pillarscould not guarantee another perfect safe
spot. He was unrepentant to turn her away.
Please?
He considered the decision till the seventh drop of water fell to one of the wet
puddles in the room.
One night. He ignored the sputter of an almost-formed gratitude. Leave when
the rain stops.
The moment she sighed in relief, he pressed the callous fingers on the short
wicker. The room was covered in a dimmed screen and humid bitter air.
Positioning himself to sit against the wall again, his senses were attuned to the
crinkle of papers and a shuddering, cold exhale. He waited until her breathing deepened,
roughly about three minutes after he ignored her.
Resigning to a sleepless evening, he was beginning to regret the idea of visiting
his ruined home.
***
Sasuke always dreams.
Sometimes, he sees a red full moon that is radiant like the soft sunsets in those lakes that
he claims to be too young to remember. But as the years pass since that innocent little
memory, the sight of the moon-sun has an entirely different meaning to him. It makes
those silhouettes grow gradually, as the familiar lethargic bodies on the ground start to
stand on their feet. A festering, nauseating stench of brackish canal waters cut his
breathing short as he tries to hide the plies he had managed to steal from a wayward tool
box. But even then, as he streaks through the encampment, his thoughts are of his old,
homely manor and of the coming dust-sweeping this New Year, and wont mother be
absolutely aghast to see her front yard covered in crusting mud? Then, the darkness that
falls reminds him that he has to live in this hellhole.
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There is news that every foreign blood in the land of the free are suspected to be either
spies or agent handlers. And since his parents are part of the diplomatic military
contingent from the east, his family had not been spared from the distrust.
Like the silent credits that roll in those newly built theaters, his mind further drifts to
certain grayscale six-year old memories: a rambunctious idiot boywith a lighter shade
of hair, a more luminescent tint of eyes barging uninvited in the newly mown lawn on a
clear spring day. The boy cackles like there is an extremely hilarious joke; face almost
smeared with bright orange paint. The midget is loud, noisy, rambunctious and irritating,
yet he considers him tolerable enough to distract him from the fact that his parents had to
move to this godforsaken country with his only friend, his brother, left behind.
Inside the wire fences, his father tells him to always go back to their country. Oniisan
has consecrated his whole life to the glory of their race. Sasuke is a weak comparison to
the pride of the clan, but he will be useful.
So you want to be a soldier to huh? the blond loudmouth jeers, as he pumps a fist into
the air. Ill beat you to a pulp, believe it and you will
***
He was roused awake, a rare occurrence, by the hammering rain on the rooftop.
Holding back the need to vent a curse, he did a careful surveillance to make up
for his failed vigilance last night. Exhaustion had definitely taken its toll on him; the
weather had been making a deafening racket over his tiles for quite some time and it did
not even wake him up.
Placing a cool palm on the cool floor, he stood on the dampening floorboards
carefully. Ignoring the frigidity in the morning, he slowly gained his balance. The
crumbling, faux blanketa year-old broadsheet, creased at his movement. Another
bunch of crumpled wide papers were neatly piled at a distant corner; there was no sign or
hair of his strangeguest.
Pleased, he started dusting the wayward splinters off his fitting-blazer that
served as his cushion for his short, interrupted slumber. Closing the last of the brass
buttons, he emerged out of the open shoji doors with the leather bag on his hands.
He was expecting this murky, rainy day spent in contemplation, on how to hitch
a getaway from this continent without being detected. But then, soft foot falls clambered
up in the stairs.
There was a satisfied little hum on her lips till she raised her head, finding him
standing on the entrance.
Ohayou!
Her name wasSakura.
Sakura, he remembered her name; it greatly bothered him since inconsequential
pieces of information were usually below his notice.
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The girl was now beaming with that memorable first smile, but there was
already a big difference from her last appearance. She was no longer wearing her sad
excuse of a clothing; instead, she was donning a decent, clean overallsthough, it was
splotched with rainwater stains. Her roseate tresses were hidden, kept in place with a
baseball capthe one that hung from the old coat hangers in the storehouse premises.
Her eyes, only visible enough when she held her head up high, were covered with her
hair that could have passed as dark strawberry blonde, assuming they were dyed.
From a distance, Sakura would be mistaken for a small boy.
She then began to rattle off in a rapid succession with her heavily accented
English.
I explored for a bit. There was a small well filled with water. It was clean
enough to use for a wash. I saw some extra clothes around here, too. She was depositing
a long strip of kerchief, burdened with a heap of fruits on the low-lying porch as she took
a seat. He was sure that she gathered those either from the nearby thicket of woods, or the
small gardens at the edges. People down town loved to talk about how eerie this place
was, so I thought this was the best place to hide in. I was going to do what you asked, to
leave you alone, but
Tuning out the uninteresting blather, the only thing that registered to his mind
was this: this girl stole them.
And worse, it felt like a refreshing change from the consuming silence.
picked them from the nearby bushes outside. Im not sure if these are edible.
And I keep seeing that everywhere.
She pointed to the small, neat line of engravings on the sides of the doors, at
every lantern and pillar in the vicinity. Both of their gazes strayed on the faded red-white
symbol, a fan, over the surface of a once brightly painted blue wall.
I recognized it on your collar last night. There was contemplative pause, as
she looked at everywhere but him. I thought you were a vengeful guardian ghost.
She failed to continue the last syllable, her throat closing with that palpable fear;
her hands went behind her, fingers knitted together anxiously.
This. He finally caught her skittering doe, green eyes. Was my familys
property.
Sakura opened her mouth again. And she was probably going to ask something
that was insensitive or ridiculous, because she opted not to speak and closed them rapidly
with a snap.
His glare almost snarled the words out thank you for not prying.
i was curious. She did not wobble, but the lip caught between her teeth said it
all.
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A lone rumble of thunder broke the silence.
His lips thinned, forming a grimace.
I can go tomorrow. It's safer to travel by the roads in the morning. There was a
forced conviction in her voice, trying not to be intimidated in his presence. But can I
stay somewhere else. Away from this hall if you want. Theres a ruined house behind the
shrine and I think thatll be enough. And what do you like?
He stilled for a minute, as he recognized the small circular fruit on her package.
The doubt must be apparent in his movements, because she took one and bit on
its flesh.
Theres a lot of food around here. I got some nuts
He picked the tomato in her hands. With a critical eye, he inspected the surface
before he bit into it slowly.
Do you want some salt to go with it? A cracked porcelain dish filled with the
said condiment was put in between the boundaries of their personal spaces. Yurei-san?
He deemed it more convenient for him to give his name. Besides, she had been
polite the entire time; it was perfectly fine to be polite as well.
Sasuke? There was that odd little smile again. It did not reach her eyes but it
definitely suited her because it made her less vulnerable. I like you.
Used to out-of-the-blue compliments from random strangers, he ignored her
casual declaration.
Her timid shell was almost gone by the time she realized that he could tolerate
her chatter. Sasu-chan?
A muscle on his mandible twitched. Ridiculous.
On second thought She noticed his annoyance and tried, in vain, to hide her
mirth. Yet the tone of her voice had an unnatural lilt to it, like it was placating him not to
lash out. Sasuke-kun might be better. She paused for a while, slipping off her larger left
sandal with a slipshod wiggle of her foot to the ground. Thats a uniform youre
wearing.
He did not confirm anything, purposely masticating the soft fruit slowly.
You can ask me questions, you know. Sakura was probably thinking that the
morsel in his mouth was already too mashed, as she stared at him with a tiny exasperated
pout.
He was impressed that not only was she skilled enough to sense that he was
avoiding her little get-to-know-you talks, but she was also obstinate enough to make him
talk.
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The first question on his mind was why don't you leave me alone? But he was
more inclined to let her lead the conversation. Which was a good thing, since she seemed
to know what he wanted to ask when she spoke.
And before you complain about me not leaving, the storm wont let up. I was
really going to leave earlier, but His companion flit a fidgety side-glance, before she
relaxed and spoke out again, You were sleeping. I just can't go with you alone here. I
didnt have the heart to wake you up because you were too tense to sleep yesterday. And
I was wondering how long youve been staying in this place. Or why youre even here
when the whole thing is...wrecked.
It did not made any sense to him, her worry for a boy she did not even know
someone who insisted her to leave and treated her brusquely. He found her concern
ludicrous, foolishly, nave, and gullible.
It was something that would definitely kill her someday.
Grasping at the straws, she tried again to keep a jovial air. You go to school?
Hn.
Ah. There was another awkward pause. Sakura probably had a hard time
getting used to this arrangement, or was tired of it, because she just kept on speaking.
Can I stay here again for the night?
Hn.
The rain will stop tomorrow, probably before dawn. It was slightly disturbing
that not only did his reticence fuel her even more to know him, but she could also read
him fairly well: this strange girl already placed the tomatoes on his side of the spread
cloth, chosing to eat the pears instead.
This time, I'm going out before morning.
He inwardly thanked the deities.
I'm going to wake you up, Sasuke-kun.
You can speak Japanese.
Is that even a question? But still!And the trace of her apprehensive nature
disappeared when she made those stupid, little clapping motions, followed by an amused
sass, I was beginning to think that youre sick. I had to keep following your nonverbal
cues.
Sasuke scowled. He wished that she did pick some rotten ones.
I learned to speak a bit when I was on board the Hikawa Maru for a month. The
crew was very nice to me, but I didn't have time to learn how to read. But I wish I did.
Absently, her fingers played with the threads at the edges of her frayed sleeve with
interest. I heard they are very suspicious of foreigners right now. I cant blame them.
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For a while, neither raised the unspoken implication of her words. It was very
unsafe to stay here any longer.
...Did you go to school as well?
There was something mysterious in her laugh, like the question was something
she had never heard of.
Maybe. There was a glint of teasing in her eyes. You might find out.
He felt like her response skirt around his question. Without further ado, he
merely frowned and declined her offer.
Later that night, he allowed her to sleep near the porch.
***
The first gentle bars of sunlight bled crimson beneath his eyelids.
Hey. The rustling of fabric and the scuffing of feet told him that she would be
beside him any second. Before he could even decide to pretend, she spoke again,
Sasuke-kun, no one sleeps with such a stiff back.
Her hair was still enclosed by the large cap that almost swallowed her forehead,
but he could make out highlighted rose tints at the edges. A collection of dust motes
surrounded herlike small fairy lights, he could describe them if his thoughts were a
little fanciful or disjointed.
Mistaking his silence for puzzlement, she exclaimed, Are you sure youre
going to be alright here?
She withdrew her outstretched greeting to execute a surprisingly, perfect bow:
her back leveled with her slender waist, her head in an angle lower than her neck, and her
limbs in a perfect straight line.
Shuffling her worn sandals, Sakura went past the cracked faces of the lion-
hounds that stood as sentries to the once-grandiose temple. When her form was beyond
the decaying logs of torii, he saw an unfurling line of smoke in the distance. It snaked its
way past the wool-white clouds, stark against the pale blue horizon. Skipping the stairs
one step at a time, she then waved back enthusiastically.
If he strained his eyes for a moment, he could see the backdrop of towering
charnel chimneys, red-brick roofs, iron refineries; it was a sign of a teeming, busy life.
Slinging the leather bag on his shoulders, he followed her in a languid, relaxed
walk. Easy long strides quickly covered the distance of her sedate pace, and soon enough,
he was already in front of her. The curious glance behind him seared, focused on the
bottom of his flushing nape.
He stiffened in response, oddly knowing that her smile widened a few notches.
Fortunately, she did not ask when he led the way.
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***
Treading a dirt road along with the busy afternoon crowd in a local
commercialized district, Sakura continued to twirl the strings of the small leather purse
on her finger, trying to ignore the eyes that peeked from the open stalls.
If were going to the port, well need money. She was again in a whimsical
mood, her smile a tad lighter, less anxious. I dont like it either.
So, as I said Sasuke-kun. Her obliging tone was teasing, as they walked
leisurely, taking the small alleys behind the industrialized city to hide in the shadows.
Its easy to play twenty questions. Well be together for awhile so it wont hurt if we get
to know each other, right?
where did you come from came first to his mind, but it was not in any
importance so he settled for where are we going?
Mmm. Shuffling the pebbles at the sidewalk, she responded casually,
Somewhere in the Pacific.
He focused on that. She knew how to go there without being detected in the
ships? Sasuke tuned to her words again, more attentive than before. Its too dangerous,
though. I was going alone, but having you...we can still manage, but we'll definitely have
a hard time.
He contemplated whether to keep the question quiet or ask it. Curiosity won
when he gleaned that it was more rational to gather more information out of her.
How can you leave this country?
Can you tell me one of your dreams?
I dont have one, he answered quickly, managing to lie with a convincing
neutral expression. But he was still somewhat bewildered with her line of questioning.
How?
It'll be a piece of cake, once we're there, she responded easily as her next
inquisition became more obstinate in pressing the matter. Why dont you have any
dreams?
Its an ambition. He paused for a second, deciding to be instinctive this time
with his next question. Is your hair real?
Yes. I bet thats been haunting you for the past days. She gave him a small
quirk on the edge of her lips, skipping a hump on the cemented road. An ambition, can I
ask what it is?
He clammed up. She had no right to know that.
I get it, too personal. An exasperated groan was out after ten seconds;
afterwards, she rolled her eyes. So where were you studying?
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Military school. He didn't say that the academy did not find him trustworthy.
Sakura stilled and looked at him with that incredulous fear in her eyes. You're
enlisted? In the army?
No. There was a sudden bitterness that he failed to hold back. Stupid woman.
Ah, I thought so. Her smile was too brittle, too anxious. You're too young.
He resisted snapping at her that age never mattered in battlefields. And you dont really
have to answer. Halting a few steps behind him, she managed a friendly light tap on his
shoulder. Just skip the questions if theyre too personal, okay?
Can you take me to Japan?
He went straight for the kill.
Kanegawa Prefecture.
She paused for a while, then gave a cautious why.
Can you? He shrugged, giving away nothing of the bubble of anticipation in
his chest.
She positively beamed, cheeks flushing and nodding sincerely.
I'll take you there.
***
It was not the first time Sasuke had camped outside the safety of his home, but
when his company nervously and annoyingly chirped, it made the whole thing almost
unbearable. Sakura circled this particular area for the nth time, with her more-than-your-
average size forehead being slapped by her hand, as she continued muttering to herself
about perfect warm places.
He had enough.
Stop.
Sakura halted at mid-stance.
I can sleep anywhere.
Well, I dont believe you. She then began waving with an exasperated sigh.
You look like a woman who had never slept out of rough times. And we can't just sleep
anywhere, we're in someones territoryIm not sure actually, maybe? Its a nice place
and but its better if we sleep somewhere...closed off.
He glared at her offhanded insult. Sakura seemed to have forgotten where she
had found him the two nights before. In his opinion, she was more likely to be scared in
the dark than him. Constantly bothered by her trying-to-be-in-control attitude, he gave his
indomitable command.
We can sleep here.
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Here? There was a petulant pout. Not here!
There is enough cover when morning comes. He stood beside the thick oak
trees and the brambles, slightly exhausted but still immaculate even with his worse-for-
wear uniform and leaf-strewn hair. And we're staying here until before the sun rises.
What if there are snakes? She then sharply added, Or frogs?
He sat on the damp earth as a response.
Fine, she grumbled as she scooted over to a far distant corner, finding the
softest bark she could lean on for the night. Can you deal with the crawly creepers?
Just stop being annoying.
***
On the third morning, Sasuke was not enjoying breakfast.
Well, if it was any comfort, he thoroughly enjoyed her expression when she saw
the wriggling mass of grass snakes.
Yet, by the time she had gathered her scared wits, Sakura managed to bash its
skull with a large stone and a furious yell. After her minute-long staring at the grimy
remains, Sakura asked shakily if he had a knife.
There were a few stirrings of pity in those lidless reptilian eyes, giving its
phantom hiss from its mangled forked tongue as it was being skinned.
Its either this or rat meat. I'd rather die in snake venom than disease-ridden
pest. Her gleeful beheading made him almost flinch, as she now skewered the flesh on a
few shaven sticks and added a bit of stolen salt to the meat. As long as we avoid its
fangs and cook it thoroughly, its going to be alright.
Youll be surprised that they taste like fowls. Sakura was obviously enjoying
the traces of discomfort on his face. And its actually healthy. More preferable than
eating wild mushrooms. Maybe if were lucky, well get to eat some rabbit. Now those
taste sweet; they have a delectable nutty aftertaste
Sakura, he finally spoke clearly, irritated at how noisy she was being. Were
not going anywhere with this.
She became silent, the occasional bird chirp and quiet crackling of fire
punctuating another bout of silence.
***
An exasperated frown marred her usually animated expression as she slid back
to her bag a portrait that had three well-worn creases. It was of a woman in her late
twenties with dark-shaded astute eyes, thin lined eyebrows, and a stern mouth. The light-
colored hair was short and bound in a tight bun, hidden carefully beneath a soldiers
beret. But Sakura told him that the majorhe could see that on the pins on her chest
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always wore her hair down and tied them to two low ponytails that reached past her
waist.
Camp Nichols, she said to herself, unaware that he was still following her lead
even when she said that they had to spread out for a while. Or Camp Murphy. Nichols
Airbase is definitely nearer, but the General HQ is most probably her station
He would never know why, but this time, her attempt for a distraction irritated
him.
Do we have a place to stay?
No.
We have to find one. There was an incoming gripe at the way she rolled her
eyes. Again, I dont have any money.
We can sleep outside, he offered.
Thats very amusing. Of course, we can deal with that if its not going to rain
tonight! Sakura mocked with a scowl that she must have imitated from him. Its just
luck that weve had clear skies these past few days. And I know my luck. By the moment
we settle under a tree in the park, well be swathed with insects, or blown by a storm, die
by blood loss, hypothermia
Her tirade went to a halt when Sasuke broke to a faster pace.
Wait up! Her small stature managed to catch up with him, panting slightly.
Where are we going?
Finding a place to stay.
But I told you I dont have any money. I need to find work tomorrow.
He was silent, yet overly conscious of the combined weight of three white-black
lined envelopes, which were filled with wads of banknotes, mailed and signed by the only
blood relative that he knew.
Though he scorned to use even a cent out of the condolences, if these could
provide them a roof above their heads, then it was fine by him.
But a flabbergasted Sakura had something to say about their accommodations.
They stood in front of a three-storey, dingy building. There was an image of a
bejeweled entertainer hiding behind a folding parasol with a coy smile, and hand-written
posters of flat price-rates for couples for the late evening.
He caught the last of her low mutterings, with her face gradually flaming.
prefer to die being eaten by roaches outside.
Its only for the night. He was inwardly congratulating himself for exacting a
perfect revenge. Or for a couple more, if we need to stay.
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For how long?
Who knows. He pressed the buzzer bell on the counter.
A string of unintelligible profane phrases would have spilled out like a rapid
stream from her mouth, if the proprietor did not arrive at the exact moment.
Andinfuriatingly for her, and amiably for himhe conversed with the
grinning forty-year old with a pot belly about the fare he would pay for the night.
***
For how many nights There was a reticent drawing of air, inhaling as little
as possible. Are we going to stay here?
It was reasonable for Sakura to be scared to inhale. Their room only had a single
bed adjacent to the white plastered wall, with only one window that had rusty metal
frames. Balls of wispy dirt hid under the musty dresser beside the bathroom door,
intertwining threads of spider silk filled every corner, and he could almost grate the hard
little pebbles that rolled under his soles.
You take the bed.
She was concocting some reasonable protest, but he already took the chenille
coverlet. The frail bed, he thought with distaste, could not even properly support the
weight of a tall person, much less two individuals.
But the roomyou paid for it! You should at least
And I want the floor. The mattress appeared to be a welcoming habitat for
blood-sucking critters. Sasuke would rather avoid the infestation since he was already
dealing with another type of parasite.
Well, it was really symbiotic, but he was too tired to care about that.
I just cant have the bed!
If you dont want it, he groused, frustrated that she was appalled with the
arrangement. You can sleep somewhere else.
Sakura could have raised an argument what the hellthe words were almost out
of her mouth, but she stopped and replaced it with a venomous, cloying smile. His
preservation senses tingled as she gathered her off-white duffel and the complimentary
towels.
Fine. She turned the bathroom knob, giving her acquiescence. You win.
The door swung shut.
The moment the splashes of the pouring water stopped, he evened his breath.
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Easing the tension on his body when the hinges creaked, the clean soap and
berry fragrance overwhelmed the musky odor of the room. Splatters of wet footsteps on a
tile were muffled by the thin bed room slippers.
A relieved sigh and a rustling of sheets later, there was a heavy thump and an
emanating warmth beside him.
Goodnight, Sasuke-kun.
Sasuke swore he heard her muscles stretch into a huge grin, and he found it hard
to silence the groan that emitted from his chapped lips.
***
You are a lame story teller.
He merely turns his glare to the side, controlling his mouth before he bites out the
words
You are annoying.
She waggles a finger and raises an eyebrow cockily, then rolls her eyes when she realizes
that he is looking at her like she has sprouted another nose on her head. This, in truth, is
close enough to what he is thinkingnext to the insane girl label.
You forgot to start with Mukashi, Mukashilike what they used to do.
And how would you know that?
Lets just say that it doesnt feel right without it.
port of california | beside a ferry boat| unknown destination in the pacific
Here.
Accepting with a nonchalant, yet graceful, catch, Sasuke scanned the papers.
There was a black and white image of him when he was twelve, when his hair defied the
natural laws more. With his current cowlick hair more manageable and longer, his former
appearance was a bit different. He glanced down, looking at the few changed details and
a false surname.
Lowenhall?
There was another of that nervous tick on her cheek. First thing I blurted out.
And if they ask, Im Higgins.
After a last flick of the translucent parchment, he gave her an approving assent.
He did not ask where she got such connectionsshe was only sixteen years oldbut she
only told him, We have to go.
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It was a quiet trek towards the station as Sakura was unusually silent. The
bustling mob of commuters, conversing in a mix of native tongues, seemed enough to
serve as their buffer. Right now, her dark head was inclining a bit to the bickering teen
girls who were excited about a scenic route in the train ride.
He could feel an air of maturity when she was surrounded with people. Her back
was ramrod straight, hands on her sides as she daintily walked on the streets with a regal
tilt of her head to keep her from meeting their eyes. The contour of her shoulders would
tense when someone would glance at her for more than three seconds.
(her displays of juvenility seemed to come up when shes alone with him.)
Boarding an almost filled trolley, they took the last empty space at the back row.
And this time, he allowed Sakura to take the seat by the window. Comfortable as
it may be to lean on the cool glass pane, he could be gracious for once. Moreover, though
Sakura knew her way around the capital, there was a plausible guess that she never rode
the transit.
It was better to be safe than sorry. Let her have the place.
He crossed his arms, reclined his head and closed his eyes.
Sasuke-kun? Why did his name now sound tentative from her lips? Are you
tired?
Well take turns, he supplied politely.
Sure, I guess, she agreed.
He felt the whole chassis trembling, before the cogs and wheels glided smoothly
forward. The sounds of the machine was rhythmic, a soporific tempo, but it was not as
soothing as a lively feminine chatter.
Soon enough, he fell asleep. But it was not restful.
(this time, it starts in a familiar room. his mother usually receives the visitors
here, with steaming tea and sponge cakes stuffed with red-bean paste served in a
beautiful display.
but there are no visitors to entertain, or tea to offer. instead, the room is filled
of men in sorted suits with black and women wrapped in slate fabrics. it is a multitude of
faceless people, and he almost believes that they have lidless marble eyes, watching him
relentlessly.
he tries not to look at them, tries not to spill the dust from a simple, porcelain
urn.
aniki? oh god, there are sobs. but he cannot help it. where are you? but they
dont answer, the human-demons tell him. heroes, they snide, dont come for a grieving
boy.
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he tries to calm himself. one. and two. three. he does not know why he does.
there is an anger that silently cripples his senses as he wants to know why his brother has
left him alone to deal with this misery. there is a sorrow that silently stabs his chest as he
wants to know why his parents have to die in such a blas way, as they seem to be not
breathing as they lay on the dirt strewn ground.
he asphyxiates, wishes that he dies as he tastes burnt skin and boiling blood on
his mouth. a ghostly caress on his nape, and he nearly calls out kaasan, tasukete)
Sasuke, the voice mirrored his fright, but he did not give her the chance to ask.
Your turn. His mouth and his curt reply were both dry.
We only got a minute before we get to the last station. Then, we can take a
fifteen minute walk
Sakura had left him undisturbed to sleep for five hours.
Stupid woman.
Its going to be fair, Sasuke-kun. It did not seem to register that she was
brushing the unruly strands at the back of his damp nape, that he was not averse to her
touch. You can keep watch outside the cabin later.
And as they were the only remaining passengers, nobody could see the faint
shiver on him as he disembarked. He made sure that Sakura would never see him rattled.
***
The cloud weaver and the star herder meet for the first time? Not waiting for any
response, she adds again, and he was too familiar with her now to even attempt to stop
her incoherent queries, And they fall in love?
He does not deem it with any reply.
And they married after that? Come on, Sasuke-kun! Dont leave the story hanging!
He gathers his bearings and glares.
Then let me finish.
She puffs an irritated sigh.
You stopped in the middle of it. You were staring blankly.
us navy supply cargo boat | en route to the pacific | 1941
I did tell you the truth. I told you its easy.
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He could not spare her a reply, not even a disgruntled tch, since the heat of the
ship cargo compartment was getting to him. This annoying woman did voice out her
concerns (its going to be hot and cramped for months.) for about a minute yesterday, but
she was now quite content about their present predicament.
(stowaways.)
Eating a box of umeboshi onigiriit still mystified him where Sakura got them,
her flighty conversations began once more. His already testy ire increased, since they
would surely be discovered if her voice continued to be that
Stop worrying! And the engines can mask my whispers, silly.
loud.
My plan is perfect. Well stay here for a few days. Her explanation was not
very assuring, especially with that pout before she chewed her lunch. Then, we can
sneak out at a cargo drop and board another boat. Besides, this is the last one heading for
the Kiro port.
Northern Formosa?
Im sure that I have enoughresources to get you to the mainland. There was
an inquisitive grin, before she bit on the other side of her rice ball. We can part when we
reach the capital. I guess its not hard to go to other places once we get out of America.
By the way, do you speak other languages?
There was no reason for him to deny it. Yes.
You can read Mandarin, of course.
There was a trace of suspicion about her offhanded comment.
How did you know?
Are you proficient?
Adequate.
Define adequate first.
I learned the whole vernacular when I was a child, he added absentmindedly
as the edges of her eyes widened, revitalizing her countenance. It seemed conditioned to
appear whenever he participated in these small talks.
You did? She was genuinely surprised; pausing for a second before a nibble.
Why?
He struggled to admit a reply, I had to.
Finishing the last lentil, she answered his silent prompting to answer the
question.
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You were reading something. When we arrived here, right? I was about to
snuck up behind you, but then you noticed me and I dont know how you did that.
Impatiently, his nostrils flared, to some extent.
I saw a letter pressed on the pages.
He froze.
Im familiar with the characters, but I cant read it because Ill never figure out
anything written in Chinese. I can't even read Japanese text. Dont look at me like that. I
cant even understand it! A mortified flush covered the tips of her ears. I wont snoop
on you anymore, okay?
Relenting to her abrupt, but sincere, apology, he graced her with a nod.
Besides she said flippantly, as if she was talking to herself again. You hate
me right? After I bring you to the port, well find our separate ways.
He gathered their (hers, mostly) mess, while she cleared the rest of the evidences
that they stayed there for fifteen minutes. He did not speak, which only increased the
tautness of her shoulders and the succession of sighs.
She must have self-appointed herself to diffuse any awkward silences between
them. Her amiable mood was back in a flash as she continued their unfinished
conversation, I noticed you like homemade food, I could make some nori but
Sasuke never hated her presence. Sometimes the girl was exasperating, but not
to point of being unbearable. He was beginning to understand that her false assertiveness
and confident masks would crumble quickly in the private of places and lengthening
hush.
Sasuke envied that simple courage, when she took the first step to reach out and
break the cold silence.
I kind of envy you. I always wanted to learn other languages. Hey, can you
speak conversational Chinese? Can you? Just a word please? So I wont worry if ever
you got lost or something when we
Sakura reminded him of many distant, familial things right now: of homemade
lunches, easy conversations, and expectant gazes.
Comfortable.
Welcome.
And as she continued to beleaguer him in hushed murmurs, he saw that she was
happy. Sasuke never made anyone happy before.
Amazed with this realization, his mind was blank when his mouth traitorously
moved in the midst of her pestering.
Wo xi huan ni.
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She blinked, her mouth pausing for a moment.
Okay, he admitted thatbegrudgingly, he would add. So that was why he was
reluctant to tell her that he appreciated her presence.
Let her mull on that one.
Sasuke expected a different reaction: she would tilt her head a little to the side,
with those pale brows knitting on top of her penetrating gaze, and then stew for awhile,
before shed start badgering him for what it meant.
(like what his mother did, as she tried to understand why he preferred tomatoes
every dinner.)
Instead, she sharply inhaled through her mouth, as if trying to hold something
back from bursting.
Sakura almost laughed at him.
Oh, Sasuke-kun. His name was imminent to be swallowed by a ripple of
giggles, but she only grinned. Wo shi dao.
He blanched.
Sakura was still not content, though.
Ni hen ke ai.
And to add some rock-salt to a painful injury, a feather-kiss (lightly, he could
not even feel its heat) grazed his colorless cheek.
***
I thought so. There was an unfamiliar, fluid voice that roused him from sleep.
Sasuke vowed to himself silently when they emerged from the compartment of a
young pale-haired boy.
At times, the little street mouse was clever and smart, but to him, she was still
very stupid and too optimistic to believe that they would stay undetected in this large
supply ferry boat.
Don't look like I'm going to throw you off the plank there, pretty boy, said the
young man, as he produced the same tickets they had, obviously fake. You absolutely
underestimated the security around here.
The pink-haired girl chose this time to wake up, drowsily making her way
towards them. Sasuke-kun, whats with all the noise?
Japanese, eh?
This blinked the last of her sleepy countenance, looking at the sailor in alarm.
The bright violet eyes glinted menacingly as he eyed the both of them, his odd white hair
with blue highlights tied neatly behind his nape.
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Youre not supposed to be here. There was a menacing brogue as he
continued, Tell me why I shouldnt tell the captain to turn the ship around and deposit
you to the nearest camp.
Sasuke was not intimidated though, even if Sakura was half-bristling at the side.
Weighing in the possibilities that they might get imprisoned the moment they arrive on
land, he kept his best neutral expression.
There was a careful glance at the both of them, scrutinizing their appearances.
How old are you guys?
Fourteen. That was a half-lie.
Fucking youngsters, the sailor mumbled, putting a hand over his forehead in a
slap.
Please, sir dont turn us in and
You brats eloped?
Both of them blinked.
Ye-Yes, Sakura squeaked out in surprise.
Sasuke wanted to ask how on earth this freaking moron landed on that
conclusion, but he did not bother to rectify Sakura as he saw the sailorwho was
probably a year or two older than themlooking at them with a little bit of sympathy.
So you caught the culprits then, you moron? I told you that theyre here
somewhere in the
The young man groaned as a ginger-haired woman appeared stomping her way
towards them.
My. The sailor rolled his eyes when the newcomer went to them with a
predatory glance at Sasuke. So these people are ourguests?
Stop flirting with the kid, red. Hes underage. The drawling statements startled
them. And I already knocked you up.
And you stop being shitty.
Whos being shitty?
Sakura looked at the bickering pair with what was close to wonder.
Karin. Her gloved hand combed through the messy, vibrant red strands in
disdain. And you, girl with a big forehead?
There was something different in Sakuras response. At first it looked like there
was a demon about to attack Karin, but then she stopped herself and gave the woman an
almost melancholic grin.
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Sakura.
***
Some nights, he dreams of the night long lectures with his brother. Leo, he remembers of
a particular impromptu discussion that has started while he is perched on Itachis back,
with small limbs attached to him tightly while climbing up the winding steps to their
house, seen at the Far East in the Northern Hemisphere at the start of spring. Its best
seen during the end of summer, as the resting lion comes in a form of a sickle-shaped
figure.
The topic is uninteresting for his young mind. You can trace the constellation, as either
the lion resting or the lion walking proudly on the sky, depending on the perception of the
viewer. But still he listens, because it is his brother who is talking. It is even rare that he
is teaching him about something.
Denebola, his brother points to the formed tip. When it shines, it brings misfortune and
disgrace. Algieba forms the sickle or the lions forehead. Regulus, he figures that he is
nearly asleep, cuddling on a warm back, as his brothers voice fades, the brightest. Its
the star of alpha leonis, the brightest star in that constellation. In its first form, Regulus is
the tail of the animal but when you draw the predator on its foursprowling on a hill,
Regulus becomes the heart of Leo.
roof ship deck | en route to an unknown bay
There were stars overhead, clustered and scattered, over the night. Each pinprick
of light, brilliant or waning, were arranged to form lanes, angles and intersections. They
outlined people, creatures, stories and myths, crafted with a mere vivid imagination and
belief.
His brother had once taught him how to navigate with a clear evening sky.
Those clever, old eyes staring intently at the starlit canopy, his voice telling him that he
would never be lost if he learned how to read the stars and honed that particular skill.
Sasuke felt deceived. But that was all Itachi ever did.
If you look from a much higher ground There was a thoughtful tone to it
before she held her opinion for a heartbeat. It looks like a hedgehog.
There was a brusque plop near his (always breached) personal space. Soon
enough, a mop of cerise hair, covered with a navy blanket made into a makeshift
bandanna (or turban, to be honest. it was bizarre on her.), bounced at the border of his
periphery.
Sakura was not smiling. It was more like she was trying not to, but he was a
hundred percent certain that she was plotting something ridiculous.
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That one is a hedgehog. She pointed to a certain, almost vanishing
constellation found at the farthest eastern vantage part in the horizon. Can you see it?
Its with a bright point in the middle if you trace it like this. Connecting the star-dots
quickly with one of her sharp, feminine fingers, her comment was persistent. It really
looks like a hedgehog.
He preferred his silence and ignored the inclination to correct her.
Have you ever seen one? There are a lot of hedgehogs back at home. Those
furry, spiny little rats with their long noses andwait, Ill draw one for you!
She scrambled to her pockets, grabbing a yellowing map and a thin pencil.
Opening the blank rear of the paper, he feigned disinterest as the granite tip began to
scribble. She sat beside him cross-legged and weaved a tale about the critters she was
fond of when she was a child.
have these pointy noses, or snout. I think. They like to burrow on grasses.
Back home, I used to make some medicine from them when I caught the poor things in
the wickers and youre not listening again, Sasuke-kun.
He was still staring with his hands behind him, staring at their endless ceiling for
the night.
Sakura, as always, assumed too much.
You she hissed like a ruffled cat, are a hedgehog.
Well, if she was resorting to such juvenile tactics, he was not taking the bait.
As I said, if you were listening Any movement beside him stilled, only the
slight shift told him that she was gazing at him with a pout. Both of you have pointy
noses. Snouts. There was a flutter of fabric as another sea breeze whipped at the deck,
before she added, And like your spiky hair, if you touch them, itll hurt like needles.
He raised his arms. She tensed in preparation for a flighty escape.
And he straightened, lying supine on the damp deck, and placed his upper arms
on his head.
Both are pricks too, she huffed beneath an angry sass, not intending him to
hear.
Prod.
He successfully repressed the yelp as a spindle-like point poked at his right side.
He jack-knifed to a sitting position instantly, glared at the one who was holding back the
paroxysms of giggles.
He caught a glance of the paper, expecting some nonsensical scribbles and a
poor imitation of a burrowing critter.
Is that a hedgehog?
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I changed my mind. Blowing a raspberry at him, she returned back to her
work. I drew the real constellation instead, since you're uninterested. A friend of mine
used to tell me absurd stories of those stars while I taught him about what they really
mean. For example, that place is where the sun usually rises
It was a decent sketch of a lion; the monochromatic mane was drawn in jagged
points and the muzzle was almost pointed, a caricature of a majestic creature that prowled
on a blunt rock in the middle of an empty grassy knoll.
youre not listening again are you? I said, since you were born in July, Leos
are supposed to be extroverts. Her voice was almost sarcastic to his ears, drifting, while
she pretended not notice his astonishment when she nudged him. Theyre also
ambitious.
And quite optimistic. A few edgier lines at the right rear leg. Foolishly
idealistic. She deepened the frown, added a few curves on the mandible. And
passionately selfish. Anyway, how do you write your name, I cant really
He knew every detail of her face, of her little, amusing foibles
like her habit of blowing the pink hair out of her eyes when frustrated, or that
she took her time savoring sweet, hard candies before cracking them. Or that she would
glance a second too late whenever he spared her an eye when she was conversing with
herself.
but he didnt really know her.
Because it eased his mind that she did not know him either.
He held her appraising eyes.
(he realized that he never wanted to know her. because Sakura would cease to
be a stranger, if she answered him. when strangers leave you, it wouldnt hurt.)
Youre annoying.
Crackle.
Its late.
The paper was vehemently crumpled to a ball. Shoving it to his hands, he felt
the barely concealed melancholy when she rose from her position.
He was going to ask what he should do with the map.
Throw it away. Its just a sketch. There was a warning in her voice as she
turned her back on him. Ill sleep in. Late. Later than youll ever know.
That meant he would have to get their lunch tomorrow.
At least, there wouldnt be any sweets sneaked in his tray this time.
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The moment he could no longer feel her presence, he unfolded the little old map
and read the small little note.
Regulus is bright tonight. They say that it grants wishes.
He folded it carefully and slid it in his pocket.
***
It was probably a few hours before dawn when Sasuke woke up from his sleep,
the refracting light from the lamp illuminated the woman who was sleeping soundly
about three-arms-length away from him.
Her hand was on the cold floor, dry mouth slightly open. The sprawling pink
curtain that covered the half of her face almost fanned on the thin, plaid sheets.
Somehowlike any other night when he found her more pleasant when asleephe
noticed that her hair was trimmed unevenly; like someone held her hair back and hacked
it with one swipe. There were lines, paler than her sun-white skin(invisible?) scars, he
thoughtthat were either jagged or straight, embossed by the wandering lantern light.
He wanted to trace them, those paths of her flesh, to feel the pinpricks of heat on
his fingertips. And perhaps, this would reveal the stories behind them as well.
He was already closing the door when Sakura let out a dreamy sigh.
***
He stood again over the deck, with the turret hull towering over him. On its
pinnacle, a sole orb of light pierced an illuminated path to the starless horizon as dawn
approached near. A dark strip of mass was visible, surrounded by faint blinking flashes,
coming from a number of docking vessels on the harbor. Despite his preference for the
calm, quiet atmosphere, the silencesave for the occasional crashing of waveswas still
unnatural.
There was a groan, and he found himself almost ready to spring, hand curling
into an instinctive dead lock over the unsuspecting neck. But as he turned on his heel,
Suigetsu had slid his back down to the ground. His head lolled, purple eyes rolling as
well.
Sasuke expected the stumbling drunk to just lean over the side to let out a series
of vomits, but he was surprised when he clambered into a more dignified position, sitting
up straight. Then, adding to his slight befuddlement, the sailor spoke to him coherently,
though it was laced with a slurring lisp.
Sasuke, he spoke, a stress on his consonants. Sulking? Here.
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Shoving the metal canteen that almost broke his white nose, Sasuke had to suffer
in smelling the week-long booze. It made his earlier assumption of the companions
sobriety more doubtful. Clearly, the stupid drunk forgot he was a minor.
(but then, it was not really that surprising since Suigetsu himself was barely a
legible adult.)
Cheer uuup, he hiccupped, slinging an arm over Sasuke.
Sasuke merely gave a distrustful glare and did not even move from his spot.
What? He had a feeling that Suigetsu had been told off by his wife, judging by
the red imprint that clearly stood out on his face. We had a fight. Fucking women He
launched a series of grumbles, but Sasuke did not bother to listen and attempted to walk
out.
Were you even listening? Brat, the pale-haired man grumbled as Sasuke
shoved his lukewarm drink back, his fanged grin lopsided. And you thought no one
would notice?
There was a pregnant, pensive pause.
You're trained. It was a blunt comment as the alcohol seemed to lose all his
previous inhibitions. Suigetsu, though he often kidded around, was normally careful
around him. It's obvious that you got some brutal conditioning. So, what made you leave
the academy? Was it too hard? Tough life? True love?
He merely ignored this drunken ramble; though, Sasuke had a violent urge to
push this man to the sea.
I just don't get why pinky sticks with you.
If Sasukes hair were spines, there would have been nice little holes on
Suigetsus throat.
You hardly talk to her, but...you were childhood sweethearts? There was a sly
grin. I kinda get the vibes that you arent really that close. I guess thats why that ginger
bitch wants that girl under her nose. She figures something is wrong with the both of
you.
There were a few slobbery gulps before he continued with his drunken lecture,
That woman is probably a cursed gypsy witch of some sort. When she talks, you cant
really place her somewhere. Sakura is her name, right? See, the girl probably knows
youre Japanese? Do you even believe that, her hair is freaking pink. Youre probably too
gullible.
There was a traitorous whisper dont trust anybody.
There was a healthy guffaw. My wife asked what kind of man you are. She
fancies you, that adulterous tramp He chuckled at the mere thought, but there was a
sour frown when he gave another chug from his drink. Well, pinky said you were a
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wonderful companion, always talking how you could be sweet. Which I cant see you
doing, see? Youre like a stuck-up bastard. Almost like a rich kid.

I married off with Karin, because I know what she is he trailed off, waving
it off with his preoccupied, inebriated hand. Shes just a money-hustling babe who loves
my ass and my insurance. I know what she sees in me
Well, I dont know what Sakura sees in you. Suigetsu made a degrading snort,
taking the last swig before he leaned his head against the post and was already
murmuring slowly, But women, hah, usually expect something
The sentence ended with a snore. The canister clattered noisily on the floor.
***
WHAT?
Her exclamation can wake up the dead creatures underneath the ground if it isnt for the
fact that it is probably past midnight. He refuses the urge to close his eyes and just sleep.
All their running around town is exhausting after all. Not that he will outright admit it,
though.
Keep it down.
How could you be so calm when that stupid father of hers separated them? Hes the one
who arranged their meeting and
It was reasonable. He only sighs, trying not to look pleased that she is at least
listening now.
south china sea | few hours away from the port
Sakura, with all of her transparency and openness, was still a mystery to him.
What he expected to be a sulky and still snoring (lightly) woman on the cot
across him, was actually up and causing a mild disturbance with the other passengers in
the ferry. She was gone for a long whileprobably about forty minutes or sobefore
she came up holding their meal for today, a nearly squashed orange, a bruised apple, and
a warm mug shoved to him.
Fearing the worst, he sipped carefully on the chipped rim, hoping it was not the
achingly sweet chocolate she favored. But it was the taste of the usual bitter caffeine that
greeted him, along with her open-mouthed smile; a gentle ohayou almost finished
forming on her lips.
As always, he ignored another ludicrous attempt for a conversation. This time,
she kept on complaining how the red-head always nagged about half-finished dishes and
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lecherous ugly men knocked up the kitchens to badger the women in aprons. He declined
offering an opinion, as always, but sometimes she would lapse into silence, gaze at him
for a second, and then start another topic. He would frequently feel her gaze on him, a
palpable fascination radiating off her as she merely watchedobserving him do mundane
things, like something as simple as eating.
(okaasanokaasan would often look at his father like that.)
For awhile, he thought that it was, again, him surrendering to a false pretense of
peace.
Ive never seen such skies. Her laugh lines and dimples were evident when the
endless blue horizon bathed everything in sunlight, bright like a clear summer day. Its
going to be a lot more humid soon, though.
The strong scent of the detergent floated as she sat beside him.
He raised an eyebrow.
She was eating the piece of orange that she managed to get from his plate, as
there were no tomatoes around in the ship. Sasuke-kun?
He was acting disinterested, but inclined his head a little, to let her know that he
was waiting for her to continue. But instead of speaking, she seemed to wait for a
moment, hesitant with her breath a little deep and too calm for his liking. Her stare zoned
in to his back, like it was the only thing she could see.
When he only shifted to the side and did not move any further, she continued, I
wonder?
Wonder?
There was an insurmountable amount of unsaid questions in their conversations,
of what to say or what they were supposed to talk about. But she still laugheda laugh
that hitched with an almost sigh, nearly brokenlike his mother who used to smile away
her aching loneliness when brother left, or when father stormed away from a big fight.
I wonder if I can stay with you.
(i wonder if youll leave.)
He only gave a scoff, which was becoming more frequent than before. Youre
here.
Maybe. She nodded enthusiastically. Maybe, thats enough for today.
The silence and her bright, sunny smile that held on to him might be the reason
he broke a rule.
How did your parents die? He was blunt, though the question was not said
unkindly. There was no way a teenage girl would be left wandering around the world
alone.
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Die? She blinked, utter surprise on her face. What made you think theyre
dead? Then, they morphed into a determined disbelief. Theyre still alive.
A lump closed off on his throat, his appetite gone sour.
(deceived? she lied, didnt she? you thought she was as alone as you?)
You left your family. He was careful not to show any inflections on his voice.
Yes, she said so effortlessly that it irked him. I wanted to be free of them.
They would never need me, anyway. Besides, when Im alone, I can do everything I
want, especially when Okaa-san
You, There was revulsion in his low whisper, are really annoying.
But, Sasuke
Go home, he groused, the small plate beside him rattling as he stood up
suddenly. Sasuke stormed out, leaving the half-finished cup cold and the already peeled
fruit untouched.
That night, Sakura watched the stars alone. She slept with the sky as her blanket.
That night, Sasuke woke up, profusely sweating. For the first time, his horror
did not root from the senseless deaths of his family, but from an entirely different reason.
(coral strands. flesh lips. milk skin. water-green eyes. apple scents. wispy
breath-gales. it felt like the sky.)
He wanted her.
***
Morning came, and Sakura, still weary-eyed and filled with longing, did not
return to their bunk.
Sasuke was nowhere to be found.
***
Imagine your husband is just on the other side of the river. And you just cant cross it
because you might drown. And when you work all year round, you see him on the other
side. I dont care if they say that distance makes the heart grow fonder. That is just
plain cruel and
If Sasuke groans out to the gods, it will be because he wants to know why he has such an
emotional companion.
Your promise, Sakura.
Sorry. She clamps her mouth shut with a tremulous smile on her face, waiting.
He will never know how she does this to him.
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dewey boulevard | near end of malate | 1941
Sasuke realized that he has to go to the nearest land in the Pacific, which was the
busy port of Manila, before sailing farther to the east. As merchant ferries, especially
since they were part of the steel manufacturing companies, they were given orders to
prohibit anyone to set sail directly to the land of the rising sun.
It was already mid-morning, the high altitude of the sun extremely warm on his
cold and pale skin. It was about a month of aimless direction, and now he had the
information on how to get out of this wretched city without alerting the navy. It was
lonely, yes, but he decided that it would be better if he found the way on his own.
He leaned on the bench, watching the faint shadows trail on the floor.
Go to the Plaza at three.
Sasuke thought that the softly spoken invitation was only the wind playing tricks
on him.
Later that afternoon, when the sun was coming down slightly from its highest
peak, hiding behind stray clouds, he found himself making his way through the
beautifully crafted bridge. Because he discovered where he could avail a boat that would
not be questioned by the coast guards, he was in a good mood as he ventured outside the
crumbling century-old walls of the capital.
He gave a small frown when the distant clock tower, crimson and vibrantly pale,
said that it was already thirty minutes past three.
plaza miranda | old downtown
The festive Fridays had created vast arrays of stalls and entertainers in the
streets. Various acts and painters were strewn across the small grass-covered ground in
the hinterland of Hispanic houses and artifact peddlers. Lanterns of paper, in cubes and
cylinders, hung from the linking cords tied to each cemented pillar, illuminating the
whole area in gentle red and green phosphorous-lights as the evening drew near.
And then, he recognized the woman that attracted the crowd.
Sakura took off her usual disguise of a shabby little kidher large caps and
baggy shirtsand instead placed a thick, dark headpiece over her flamboyant tresses; a
skirt made of an unusually light fabric, knitted with the most fragile threads, with strings
of bells at the jut of her hips. Holed coins were dangling from the seams of her peach-
colored sash, swaying at the littlest movement.
Sasuke did not know if he should turn away now and head to the opposite town,
fast.
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And her body moved instantly, rippling from the center of her navel to its whole.
The movement became a pattern of swirls, undulating whimsical folds of silks in spirals.
In each turn, her expression would alter: she would smile then grimace, and then morph
into a silent laugh. He saw the graceful arcs of her pointed toes, the way her body dipped
a little further to accommodate a smoother position, the stray curl of roseate escaping
from the scarlet headpiece, and the way her lips twisted into a victorious grin.
Her dance was like patiently waiting for a burst of life to jump out; it made one
forget that she was fifteen, guileless and imperfect. But it was her, and her eyes were as
bright as the morning dew.
When Sasuke saw the blisters on her feet, the lonely smile on her facethe
crowd helplessly drawn to herhe finally decided.
Notes drifted to their ears, low and fluttering; curious eyes focused on the boy
with an unusually pale skin in a scorching climate and unusual gray eyes. Sitting on the
nearest balustrade, he leaned beside the small tin can that she placed on the ground.
Her percussionmade of wooden frame, stretched leather skin, and silver plated
zilsstopped its rhythm.
Youre late.
He only responded with another trill, his fingers gliding over the small windows
on the old bamboo reed, gingerly pressing the tangible chords on his grasp. Closing his
eyes, the small jangling coins reminded him of those spring wind chimes; and he raised a
notch, prompting her to move.
Her first step began with a raised leg, followed by a grand sweep of her toe.
Wrists were curved, her wax-like fingers splayed in alternate directions, distorting into
smaller convoluted fans. Lithe, limber arms were above her head; in a beat, they
descended to cling at each side of her waist, with elbows sharply jut out in every clap of
the entertained audience. It went faster and faster like her breathing: one-two, three, four
and eight to sixteen counts.
And when the music reached its final apogee, Sakura bowed to the crowd with
her arms bound by the outstretched horizon where the rain of pennies came.
There was a thundering applause, a series of excited childish mutterings, a quick
babble between the wandering tourists, before their little performance ended and the
small fiesta continued.
They picked the scattered cents as she bit on her chapped lips and he blanked his
mind. The gathered mob finally dispersed, no one sparing them a glance.
Her small smile dissipated the tight lines on her face, yet he could still feel the
sting of her obvious avoidance. Slowly straightening up from their bent angle, they stood
on the marble plaza with her bare feet more visible to him than ever.
Where are we going?
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Sakura blinked for a few seconds and he nearly felt the little stirrings of panic.
The mere notion of unease vexed him more, but the thought that she was about to
Sasuke forgot that Sakura was a woman. A woman with volatile moods.
Were going to have a late lunch?
It was probably later than that, he surmised, noting the change from the bright
yellow skies to the combined splashes of oranges, pinks and indigos.
Early dinner.
Dinner, fine. As he returned the hard-velvet case back to his open leather bag,
she tried to laugh off her unspoken queries.
He waited for her to finish stuffing the dark, damp red kerchief she used to wipe
her face in her bag. Both of them were now walking on the white gleaming streets, the
shouts of vendors and the smell of fragrant street foods on the air. People merely brushed
past them with their few seconds-long stares, as if they were accustomed to see alien-
looking performers.
You play well.
He turned to her and gave her time to explain.
When she did not speak, he acquiesced to ask.
Surprised?
She mumbled, a bit irritated as she tried to outpace him.
I thought you were only good at one thing aside from making my life a pain,
you always did a great job in making me nervous. I was okay when you were gone, but
you wouldnt stop running around in my head
And she sputtered, placed a hand on her mouth, and whipped her head away
from him, horrified. Her expression screamed did I just say that out loud?
He gave a smirkor a chuckle, or a smilehe did not care as he left her behind
to trail after him.
Before she burst into quiet expletives, a pretty flush crept to her cheeks.
near zero point | luneta | december 1941
It was rather another novel experience, occupying an ornately decorated bench
in a famous park for lovers, surrounded by assorted gardens that were either designed
from the far east and the west end. Currently, they haunted a particular place in the
oriental area, where the white smooth stones and dark red carnations reminded him too
bitterly of home (he outright rejected the idea, but there are clearer views here, Sasuke-
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kun.). There would be a couple of different colors everywhere, either ginger-haired with
the bald patched men or brown fleshed with the fair-skinnedwalking around the
decade-old pavements, passing by the desolate grounds.
The past few hours were spent in an interesting spur of events. As they ate
eggs (of course theyre salty, sasuke-kun, red ones are salted!), tomatoes (small but juicy
okay?), and dried fish (be careful, their bones can puncture your throat) using their hands
(isnt it dandy?) at the town square, Sakura had taken him everywhere on the capital,
telling him of her first time there, telling him that she did not mind the intriguing looks
from the locals (a foreign, eccentric-looking girl running around alone? they wont mind,
sasuke-kun.).
Sakura sat at the far corner of the stone seat, still watching the cloudy horizon
with piqued interest. She was adamant to make him tell her the legends of his
motherland. And because he would not oblige to such a preposterous request, she made a
deal that she would stay quiet the whole night if he would fill in the silence. The offer
was, of course, tempting and he accepted.
Quietly, and in the briefest way possible, he told her of the fiery sun goddess in
the distant line of his blood. They were myths about a necklace, a sword and a mirror, of
multi-headed snakes and the blood and tears that formed his home. But Sakura was not
even looking at him, her eyes on the skies, only half-listening. It was a definite opposite
picture of them, a break in their habitual pose.
Was she exacting some sort of retribution? And why was she shivering despite
the extremely scorching night?
Scowling, he was about to stop when she spoke quietly, a faint flush on her
cheeks.
Do you have any stories about the stars?
He grunted. This was very, very annoying.
Please?
Why? he said cautiously.
Because And she fully turned to him, her hands entwined together as if in
prayer, rose spirals cascading down her face; she was striking under the lantern lights.I
cant see them tonight.
There was a time that he would outright refuse such a thing. The stifling heat
that coated his nape and wavered to his slowly breathing chest dulled his mind; the wind
was even coaxing him to sleep.
But she stopped looking at the heavens and saw only him.
He began a tale that mother often told the little hopeful girls in their suburb, as
she welcomed them kindly in their home. (oh come in, come in, mother always loved her
preschool pupils, oh are you visiting sasuke, my, my and she would proudly gaze at him)
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It was the story of the girl who weaved clouds and the boy who lead the stars for the lord
of the sky. He told them their names, the white river that separated them, and the
forgiveness that brought them together once a year with the wings of compassionate
fowls. He told them to her as apathetically as he could, but it was a hopeless case for she
smiled and laughed and she was content to be here with him.
In that moment, as she listened, it seemed easy to forget many things. It sounded
so logical to ignore the old sounds of caterwauling alarms, the rumble of a turbine engine,
the familiar grit of gunpowder on his thumbs, the probable blaze of reddening cities, the
horrible screams as they died, died and died.
That was a sad story, Sasuke-kun.
She sat a foot apart from him, her feet not reaching the soft grass beneath them.
There was a sad frown on her usual smiling face and a breaking heart that was almost
tangible in his hands. If there was a moon tonight, her eyes would have silver on the
edges.
(here, he begins to believe that he is sixteen.)
Its not.
Sakura, this young girl who tried her hardest to make him happy, stared at him
like it was the first time she ever saw him. She probably wanted to disagree with his
words, words that she probably considered that he never meant, never would say.
(because for the first time, he hopes.)
For them. And with a clear finality, Sasuke closed his eyes, leaned on the
cool cement behind his back, and whispered the last words before sleep claimed him,
Its enough.
***
The young Uchiha was awake, but he could not open his eyes. His spine was
painfully stiff, something that he had not experienced for a long time. According to his
internal clock, he probably would have slept for a good hour if it werent for the stray
patches of faded pale blue he could see in the darkness.
He barely caught Sakuras annoying little monologues.
and bruises! Were you fighting someone? Joined some syndicate?
His mouth felt raspy. Dry. Like he had swallowed sandpaper and rubble.
No. Then, he felt damp. Extremely cold.
You will tell me what you did. And, was her nonchalant reprimand, and she
was not flustering, making him nervous. I did a sponge bath. And I did not strip you.
He wanted to bite a sarcastic reply you just couldnt resist, didnt you?
But he croaked instead, You didnt have to do that.
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Dont tell me about preserving your virginity. I cant risk breaking your spine if
I cant even break your fever. I'm too tired to carry you like a princess. Her voice was
angry, almost commanding. I need to lower your temperature. Believe me, having
convulsions isnt fun.
He tried to stand up quickly.
But Sakura caught him with an idiot! and a tirade summarized as im going to
send you to a fiery pit of hell if you dont lie down, sasuke-kun. She was efficient and apt
to his condition, which surprised him when she began rattling off his symptoms in a
frenzied, heavily accented language that he sometimes could not comprehendwait,
were they medical jargons? But thinking was difficult as her rapid tongue did nothing to
assuage the pounding ache until she shoved a steel canteen in his hands.
Here, drink this. Youre dehydrated."
Im fine.
Dont give me that. Its even painful for you to move right now.
Hn. She tilted his head to deliver the soothing water.
Youre not a doctor. (how come you know these things?)
You dont have a choice, she retorted heatedly. And I dont have time for
explanations. Now tell me, how long have you been feeling woozy? And dont lie to me
just because youre suffering from a migraine.
(well, sorry tough guy, im the only one who can help. just trust me.)

With the way you squint, I wonder how you can still spot me. Her hands were
cold, wrapped in a damp cloth. It felt good as she continually ran her hands through his
nape, foreheadhe was really sick, wasnt he?
Sasuke almost groaned in defeat.
Your thick, girly lashes make it harder to see, doesnt it?
But instead, he glared holes at her.
Who else would have pink hair?
What? Did you just She gaped for a while then, instead of being offended,
she patiently brushed the straight tendrils that adhered to his forehead. Youre really
sick, arent you? Sleeping on the bench really is a bad idea. And why didnt you tell me
youre not feeling well?
He grunted.
Youre shivering. The damp ragit was her white dress, the one she wore
when they first met, he thought wildlywas hovering over his face. She swiped it under
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his nose and tilted his head to the side. He was alarmed when her hand trembled for a
second before she said in a level, cool voice.
Your nose is bleeding.
And that means?
It means youve been already sick for a week, she muttered, further
aggravating him because he had to make sure he would not fall when she motioned him
to stand, carefully hoisting him. She held him, surprisingly firm and steady, heaving him
up as she tried her best not to let their weight tumble down the pavement. I shouldve
known that youll die by a mosquito bite.
***
Some nights, he is lost in a world where there are vanilla-swirled skies bright
behind his back, shadows gone and drowning from the influx of light. A place where the
buildings are like the familiar suburban he grew up in, made of mixed wood and
concrete; people barely having time to walk slowly against the gray pavement. Men in
strange suits and women in lethal heels splash the paints that flood the streets. Their
shoulders collide in a hurry, and the familiar earth is replaced in asphalt, while he tries
to listen as they speak fast, too rapid for his quick ears to catch.
***
It was chaotic when they entered the emergency room, brimming with the
wounded who came from the Pacific.
Can you give me his name?
She blurted it out, unaware of the consequences, only seeing the hues of
lilaceous red mix with the darkening purplish hues blotting the flawless skin.
Sasuke, her answer was calm, but it was edged with a frantic note that was
nearly hysterical. Uchiha Sasuke. Sixteen.
An Uchiha?
Somebody had heard, probably, other than the considerate person who had given
her attention. But there were other people who shadowed her as well, congregating near
her that she stepped back. Then, he was lifted off from her shoulders, the relaxing scent
of water and earth gone.
He could barely register the lumpy gurney that he was being placed on and the
tourniquet that was wrapped around his arm. He did not even know if the prick that
pierced his hand even registered to his brain, as well as the conversations that took place.
Why this boy
Admiral in that family, if Im not mistaken.
That captain leading the troops in Indo-China is currently
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Please, help him.
He could only hear Sakuras complete sentences.
He needs medical attention, please? I just noticed his high fever approximately
3 am. But theres no doubt that hes suffering from
There were mixtures of voices as he stared at the haphazardly patched shirt on
her back. Before her were the accusing faces of men in white pristine shirts, their stone
faces unmoving. It made the air in his lungs swirl in anxiety as she stood her ground,
even if they knew she would eventually lose this battle.
We are considering all Japanese citizens to be suspicious of covert activities.
Havent you heard, girl? There was an attack yesterday on Pearl
Hes not a soldier! Hes not involved with that! Will you just
He heard voices, panicked reports over the white, disturbing noise.
I wont leave him alone!
But he could no longer hear her; and all he saw were flashes of things forgotten
and things remembered. There was only ache and yet there was numbness. Then, there
was pain of such blinding intensity, crippling his senses. And they suddenly diminished.
***
Some nights, he whispers a thank you, a youre annoying, an Im sorry. He whispers
anything he could have said.
He pretends that she hears the words, feels the warm air from his mouth and there is rain
beneath his lids, for it cannot be salty and warm when she's bitter and cold. Every time
this happens, he can only conclude that this is not true.
unknown vessel |on-board |1942| j.s.t.
Uchiha-san.
There were neither the supposed tears nor the hand he had expected to be
holding his. His eyes adjusted harshly to the glare of the white lights until he finally
recognized the room: the cold white infirmary.
We found you in a government hospital. Are you alright, Uchiha-san?
He could not think clearly, barely discerning the white walls that surrounded
him.
You caught a common tropical disease that inflicts hemorrhaging. It usually
starts with a very intermittent high fever.
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Shizune, the nametag glinted in brass as the black-haired woman walked in
careful mincing steps towards him. She had a serious grimace as she opened a penlight
over his eyes.
Lucky we got you in the nick of time, the nurse droned on, deep mahogany
looking at him levelly, trying to disregard the fact that he was not listening, damn it. Are
you sure theres nothing I can do for you?
(ill take you there, i promise.)
What? The word chafed against his throat.
Intelligence Office received information that the youngest Uchiha has been
found. The oni gaijins had planned to take you as captive, and I believe youre born
under the lucky stars since we managed to prevent that. The capital was declared an open
city and you were rescued. Actually, the US placed a bounty on you while the empire
offered a reward if you were seen.
Money.
And the words of forewarning reverberated in his head.
(women, huh, they usually expect something.)
Sakura.
No.
I need to see her. He was impatient. He knew she was here. His mind was not
playing tricks on him, neither was there any chance in hell that she was only there to
He did not dare finish that.
Where is Sakura?
Who is she? came a confused question. Is she a relative, Uchiha-san?
He could not answer her because Sasuke was not even sure if that was her name.
***
She is nothing more but a dream.
Only a few years has passed, and she is gone in his mind. The mere recollection of her is
never to be brought up in the light of day as he trudges on the mud-splattered grounds
and carries his rifle proudly on his hands.
But again, at night, the dream will return: a man and a woman sitting on a bench,
looking at the different shades of dawn in the sky.
In his mind, he can almost hear her voice and his song of two unfortunate lovers who had
displeased the heavens so much, they were punished to only meet once. She joins his
song; faintly hears her humming myths of weavers and shepherds, of unfortunate lovers
and once-a-year meetings.
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Sasuke always wakes up, and he wishes he never does.
KOKUTAI NO HONGI
Printed in 1930s
165 pages | a small, stained pamphlet | 1943
He had read enough of that famous, well-distributed text in his childhood
Sasuke was naturally gifted. He had spent only about four years in primary
school, skipping two grades at once. He was about to finish the final tenth year of his
secondary school when he was summoned to be drafted into the military and be trained as
an officer, to be secretly deployed in a foreign land while his parents were under the
orders of keeping diplomatic liaisons with other countries. Compatriots, they called the
groups of immigrating families who did such a heroic deed.
His father had great pride when they were chosen. So, unlike other children who
still played with their toy trucks and paper dolls, Sasuke had been learning how to wield
his bayonet along with the neatly finished papers of advance arithmetic, and a calligraphy
of images that were almost shaped like a black winged-serpent beside his table.
But for them, it was not enough. He was never enough.
Itachi already knew how to dismantle rifles at that age.
That was why he drowned himself with the words that told of the glorious world
that his blood could create if they persevere enough. It told him of a secret, of power
entirely tempting to a boy who was shunned for being weak.
But belief was not enough to protect someone.
When his brother was sent to achieve his well-deserved title, he was helpless in
protecting his family while they were arrested as probable suspects who sold information
to their country. They ransacked their home, forced them inside a fenced wall, and people
died either from malnutrition or utter depression.
Being a child, no one minded if he could escape through the holes underneath.
And he vowed to make his brother regret not coming for them, only sending him enough
money so he could go home.
It was already four years since Itachi went to serve the Emperor, a great honor to
many. Five days after the order that all young able-bodied men of the country were being
called to arms, Sasuke leaned on the porch where the moon was usually seen brightly.
There was no need for sacrifice when they were dead.
His brother was omniscient. That was his belief ever since he was a child. He
still believed this, until now. But he knew that he was not invisible, the proof stood
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before him: his brother grasping the edges of the stair railings, staring blankly in front.
Sasuke wished that Aniki could see him again. Just one more time.
He venerated the existence of his brother, no matter how it had shadowed him
all his life. (youre itachi's brother, arent you? shame, he had already learned those
drills eons ago, uchiha-san. try harder!) But he often waited for the day when they would
recognize him.
The last time he had seen Itachi on their front porch, complete and well, was
when their mother was sweeping the dying leaves off the cobblestones. His impressive
figure was sharply dressed, displaying the glints of the red-gold sash that was wrapped
around his torso and the assorted epaulettes that indicated his swift rise to the ranks.
Sasuke had once dreamed of wearing that white armband which held two simple
characters at each end (), a symbolism of what he wanted to be (): an impeccable
soldier that would uphold the law.
Right now, the person who lay almost dead on the standard white cot inside
their ancestral home in Kanegawa was only a pathetic shell of what his brother once was:
the thin, hollow man wore a flimsy gown stained with vomit and blood. His face was
gaunt, irises fog-white; Sasuke wanted to close his eyes.
Im sorry. His brother managed a small smirk, his hands trembling when it
ruffled his head and put a weak affectionate poke on his forehead. The barely audible
apology rang so loudly in the room. A room where soon enough, after a few days, he
would leave and would return to it in another form: ashes and bones, entombed in an urn.
I did not try to look for you.
He wanted to strike this man in the face, but even a soft slap to his cheek would
shatter his jaw. And Sasuke was already afraid that he would be alonealone.
Itachi was his only remaining blood relative, the only one who had the right to
care about his welfare, (was someone out there biting her lip as she thought of him?)
enough to leave him a cautious reminder.
Always take everything with a grain of salt. Never believe their lies, little
brother. That almost smile his older brother had infuriated him. "Never enlist in the
army.
Too late.
The grooves of a forgotten emblem, engraved in the sable, felt rough on his
hand.
seventh month | seventh night| seventeenth hour
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He stood before a white table with three porcelain cups filled with a clear liquid
that he knew was sweet liquor. Glint of the gold plate filled his sight like inviting bullet
targets. The man before him, his drill officer, may be his legal caretaker, but all he cared
about was to bring glory to their race.
The glint of the metal plates and appraising eyes that looked at him with pride,
as he was easily inducted in the ranks, made him proud; and wondered if his brother
would be proud that at least in just half a year, he had completed his training and had
been authorized to lead.
Soon enough, the General entered, grim and sober but with a fierce command.
We are the sons of the gods. He looked at each of them, at the unseeing child
eyes who only gazed beyond him. His words were spoken with bravado that the gullible
would suck in quickly. We have the right to guide them towards the path of the
heavens.
(this is your dream, isnt it?)
The porcelain had a dull gloss, slivers of the afternoon reflecting on the warm
liquid.
Kampai! The men raised their hands in victory as another child drank the
pleasurable, slow poison: to die through wind, fire and earth.
(cheers, sasuke-kun! be merry!)
His culpabilities fulfilled, extricated from the instant he was given the katana
that was supposed to be displayed in their respective homes.
Sasuke never used the bladebut it hung on the edge of his waist every night.
12|04|1944
They questioned what was wrong with him.
As an officer, he was expected to mingle with his men and indulge in their
activities. Sasuke was always the first one to arrive at these intermittent camps, filled
with abducted and captured women only existing to provide comfort. But he would not
take any woman for himself, only looking at their faces, as if searching.
They told him that he was a prude, thinking that just any woman would be
unsatisfactory to such a man like him. They probably assumed that because he came from
a noble blood and was a bachelor as well, he would, of course, tend to be selective.
But as songs filtered in the air, as men strummed their guitars, and beat the edge
of their cups for their amusement, he found their reasoning rather relieving. Guttural
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laughter and drunken shouts filled the air, as the uniformed men shed their coats and laid
their bare backs on the ground to look at the darkening afternoon.
That cunt I screwed last night was screaming so hard
Yeah, those whores were amazing, had about five last night.
Taicho! the men called to him. Loosen up, loosen up!
(can you tell me one of your dreams?)
Sasuke refused to see the woman they had prepared for him tonight. She was
crouching behind their bamboo prison, her flesh, peeping on the gaping holes, were
marked with bruises. The tortured cornflower eyes became shattered green, the bright
platinum strands that were strewn all over the stained earth turned into soft coral. The tall
form became lithe
If she was a dream, Sasuke wanted to scream, why did he keep on looking for
that nameless girl?
The waking nightmare did not make sense anymore as his bile rose to the edge
of his mouth, nearly spilling between his teeth. Taking all the self-control he possessed,
he excused himself and went back to the station. He opened his window and saw that the
constellations were bright.
(make a wish, sasuke-kun!)
As a soldier, he could not wish for two things: for the war to be over (if it was,
he knew he would look for her in the rubbles and remains, dead or alive), and for her
truth (did she really betray him? but cowards would never ask directly.)
There was nothing to wish for.
(scared that the gods would hear, and grant them?)
He reached for the flask on his bedside.
***
Some nights, the sky is streaked with silvery, comet-like tears. While in the midst
of splattering drops against the faux windowpanes, he knows he dreams of her voice.
They flicker, as that familiar comforting alto and her bright words weave around like ink
and paint on the blank canvas called his mind, images.
Her laughter creates the shades of violent pink and milk white, her whispers conjure the
shades of comforting green and peaceful blue, a myriad of colors that will wake him, with
a feeling that the day is left monochromatic.
nantao| china | 1945
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The overpowering scent of sulfur and gunpowder seared through his nostrils as
he breathed. His pistol had long been discarded; there were no longer bullets left. The
blade at his side was now put to use, hacking at every limb and praying to some distant
deity that he was merely giving them mercy (a quick slice through the carotid) and
justice (one swift decapitation) as he granted them a quick painless death.
But who was he fooling? They were fighting a losing battle.
It was a fateful August evening (a starless one, every night was), a few hours
before the sun rose in the east. With no moonlight to cast their way, their only lanterns
were the burst of fire and sparks that outlined the borders between the earth and the sky.
His platoon of three was already contemplating where to strike their bayonetsthroat or
gut? Which was faster?when they were surrounded by men in a familiar olive garb,
faces painted in the colors of vegetative earth.
White-bellied Americans.
From the corner of his eye, he saw his allies behind him raise their long knives,
followed by that familiar maniacal glint. Grimacing, he realized that these boysthey
were younger than him after all, fifteen and stupidwere opting to die fighting.
Just before one idiotically raised his arm and rushed to the enemy fray, a loud
yell stopped him.
Yamero!
The meaning was there, but the pitch of the syllables was different. It was
apparent that the speaker knew their language well, but it remained unused for a long
time. The foreigner probably learned it to interrogate their prisoners.
Somehow, the thought of being in a cell sounded better than this senseless war.
What was there to see anyway? Outside?
(isnt the world so pretty, sasuke-kun?)
Soldier, Im offering you amnesty if you surrender now. We will not harm you,
as well
And Sasuke, in the point of misery, chuckled.
Blue eyes, familiar and now alight with recognition, widened.
He raised his hands, dropping his long swordnow blunt and tarnishedon the
dust-strewn ground. Finally letting out a deep relaxed exhale, he gave a tired smirk to the
astonished idiot in front of him.
I give up, he spoke in fluent English, before repeating it again in his native
tongue, I give up, Naruto.
***
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He stared blankly at the plain plate piled with yellowing mangoes in the middle
of the simple low table, the only things inside the dimly lit interrogation room. It was an
eye-straining shade against the gleaming brown surface, a stark contrast in the bleak gray.
The door creaked open, and Naruto entered, with his big aviator glasses perched
on his face. He looked comical as he came with a recognizable pilot jacket, the nose art
of his platoonred swirls, a caricature of a bird bringing a bomberdistinct on the
leather. He sat across him with a grim frown and tried hard to be intimidating.
Name? the young pilot (perhaps?) asked him.
Second Lieutenant Uchiha
And you were there in Nantao?
He kept his mouth shut.
Are you really Sasuke? Then, Naruto gave a hard glare. The Uchiha Sasuke
I know wont accept an armistice being offered after the bombings.
Dumbass, he wanted to snidely reply, people dont stay as children forever.
You wanted to surpass Itachi. I accepted that someday I would meet you out
there and that I might have to kill you, he continued, looking at the shell of the young
boy that Naruto used to call as his brother. What happened to you?
I dont know. Sasuke clenched his fist, the nails biting into his palm, but he
could not feel anything. It was unfeeling and cold and he could only sense the uncertainty
increase. He was never redundant in his words, but he just wanted to be honest right now,
so he breathed it again in resignation, I dont know.
Naruto became awkward and fumbled, thoughtful of what to say next.
When the idiot did though, the grip of an old pang returned to him.
Do you want some mangoes? Theyre from Manila.
Sasuke glared at the innocent fruits like they uttered some personal insult to him.
Come to think of it, Naruto surmised as he quietly scrutinized his supposed-
to-be foe and always friend; Sasuke refused to even glance at it the whole time they were
observing his actions through the two-way mirror.
I went to Manila when the General went there. They had great food. Sasuke
returned his edged stare to Naruto. If you go there, can you help me look for someone?
Its easy to fall in love with her. Even if youre a prick, I doubt you wont be enchanted.
Pink hair, almond-green
And unconsciously, his body moved on its own accord, he grabbed an
astonished Naruto by his open vest. The black-haired prisoner did not hear the clatter of
the plate, nor the distant panicking shouts behind the mirror as they tried to open the
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locked door. They were calling his blond companion with you blockhead! why the hell
would you lock yourself inside with an enemy?
The last Uchiha only roared, in desperation and misplaced anger, three words.
Where is she?
Uzumaki Narutolong time best friend of this broken young manwas
astonished as Sasuke shook him, teeth gritting and stare aflame. They were not the same
eyes that were guarded, distant and unsure. They held more blaze, a desire to know where
the girl was, that it made him believe that any answer that he would give Sasuke might
make or break him.
And because everyone believed that Naruto was a thick-headed idiot, many
underestimated his perceptiveness.
Wait a minute. Why are youthat reaction. Yourewhite skin, hair as dark
as night
Blue eyes widened.
Sasuke, even though he was humiliated and forced to surrender, never felt so
embarrassed in his whole life when he heard those words coming from the said dead-last.
Something like that, she used to tell me that you were like a dark cloud, Yurei-
kun, Naruto spoke as if he was listening to an old anecdote, told before the dying breeze
in a dusty, humid land. The one who herds her stars. She refused to give any name and
Haruno-chan
Haruno, he spoke in deadpan.
The blond pilot nodded, his grip loosened. Haruno Sakura, Why? Didnt you
know her name? Are you sure its Sakura? Pink hair, bright eyes, great dancer. Cool. And
Scary. You still dont know? The last thing I heard from her was a few weeks before the
massacre in Manila. She was still waiting for you. But I cant let you off that easily,
Uchiha. You are still a war criminal
But he did not hear anything Naruto said, who was now fretting on how
complacent Sasuke could be as he cooperated to divulge even the secrets of his meet-
point and his prying questions.
***
He merely nods off on the bench.
Sakura cannot believe him! He is impossible!
She stares at him carefully, looking at the gaunt face, the shadows that paint it and the
eternal frown that adorns him. It does not even mar his beauty, it even exemplifies it.
However, his superficial perfection can only be at par on how imperfect he is inside.
She can die for this man.
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And that thought terrifies her.
Sakura is an outcast in her own race, because of a superstitious belief that as a snow-
skinned and coral-haired infant, she is bound to be cursed. As the odd child among the
growing family of mahogany strands and tanned flesh, she is fated to be forsaken and left
alone.
She loves her family. She loves them even if they are tricksters, thieves, and travelers.
Who will love them, these shunned Romani, but their own flesh and blood? Yet she is the
ostracized one among the persecuted people, tempting her to do unspeakable things to
betray them, because she can no longer stand this bout of loneliness. In the end, before it
has escalated to who will strike the first blow, she deems it logical to run away and live
her life as she sees it fit.
Her feet have carried her everywhere. She has been taken care of by many people, learns
a lot, knows a lot by the time she is ten. No one will probably believe what she has seen,
but all she knows is to run. To escape from her family, from the other side of the world;
to escape from the ones who want to purge the world of scums like her.
But now
She leans on him carefully, settling her head on his warm shoulder, letting sleep claim
her. It is the deepest part of the night and as the lantern light above her head flickers
shut, she finally sees the river of white that separates the heavens.
Youre right. It is enough.
She drifts her fingers to smooth strands that fall over his damp forehead, easing the
furrow of brow. Blowing a tender touch of a kiss on his forehead, she then closes her
eyes.
They will be okay.
(Because theyre on the same sky, right Sasuke-kun?)
kudankita street | chiyoda | july | 1946
The weather was unforgivably cold, as the wispy clouds of mist puffed out.
She stood before an unfamiliar hall, surrounded with white-washed corners and
gleaming varnished plates, the pillars held by the thick off-white ropes. It was a languid
Sunday morning, the vintage lanterns shining softly over navy carpets and the small
gathering of mourners congregated at the shrine under the forked roof finials, the parallel
logs protruding at the edges of the wooden shingles.
Rising from her seat, she fluidly stepped outside the cool shade of the white
curtains. Aching feetswollen, throbbing and painful like her entitywalked towards
the names engraved in marble, where the new names listed the dead with pride, embossed
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proudly under the glowing lights.
There was only the scent of ash-incense as she gazed at the slowly rebuilding
city.
Haruno Sakura had been toldcourteously by her companion for this trip, a
helpful resident named Shizunethat the old war temple held the names of the soldiers
who died, defeated in disgrace and captured during the four year strife.
She did not give a damn if the dark stares condemned her presence, a foreign
entity that defiled the sacred graves of these soldiers. Blunt nails skimmed over names,
wishing that she could find those characters that he once taught her.
Then, she had read the list of familiar characters, cold embossed lines of
.
Sakura did not know if that engraved name just carved her heart out.
***
Sitting by the temple stairs, she did not care if the wind forewarned of a coming
storm. No one already paid attention to that insane woman who sat on the rough steps,
staring at the horizon, as if searching for something.
Am I going to be okay? she whispered to no one, the first fall of tears on
her cheeksno, they were not hers, not hers, even if she tasted salt, she knew they came
from the raining heavens.
She could no longer see the sky.
All she could see was him, bent over her, looking at her stained face.
Sakura slowly stood up, looking at Sasuke with a terrified gaze, like she had
seen a ghost.
Sakura remembered that she was the one who was supposed to break the
silences, to load it with impertinent blabber and never shut up. But it was different
tonight, where he was more damaged, mirroring her disbelieving look.
A sudden realization came to her, numbing and piercing at the same time.
He also thought that everything was a dream.
Do you remember me? She wanted to say. Do you?
And she felt his fingersof rough pads and gentle touchesbrush across the
side of her chin. They skimmed over the cut locks that brimmed over her brow, the curve
of her ear. Grey quivering eyes, so weary of the world, took in the sight of her. He
seemed afraid, as if any moment, the illusion of mint-green irises and a pink-haired
woman would disappear.
Sakura, he spoke, rolling the name on his tongue like grasping the bittersweet
taste of an old memory. Your name is Sakura.
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Then, her nervous, skittering blabber, gentle and hoarse, was drowned on tears
and laughter. She could be grieving. She could be blissful.
But all she knew was that her finely formed fingers grasped the sides of his face
with whispers of i thought, oh god, i thought i would find your name inscribed on a damn
forsaken stone.
Calloused hands grasped the sides of his nape, brushing across his waist, and
then her arms wrapped around his torso and she leaned her damp temple on his now
unkempt hair from behind. She found the scent of crisp thunder and smoke as her nose
buried on his scalp, an ache tripling at each second she counted, as she sobbed, becoming
a ball of emotions. The soft rain drops that drenched them were lit by lanterns, forming a
mirage of small meteorites that streaked the starless backdrop adorned with flashing,
swirling clouds.
Her lips on his temple. Her fingers on his hair. Her silent tears on his neck.
These three things made her realize that he was
god, god, youre here.
And Sakura heard the comforting echo of her thoughts from his lips on hers.
You are real.
Amore
Sasuke Uchiha seems to be trapped in his own inner conflict.
He is a young man of twenty-one years of age. He comes from the upper-class
of society; his father is an heir to an estate of boundless wealth, and his mother is of royal
ancestry. He will never be in need of money possibly for the rest of his life.
He is good looking: high, prominent cheekbones; a long, thin nose; thin-lipped
mouth; deep, dark brown eyes, so dark that people frequently mistake them as black.
Along with these physical assets is his intelligencea first class degree in
Maths and Economics, a straight-A student throughout his whole academic history. His
personality, too, is just as agreeable: mild-mannered, quiet, maybe too quiet for some
peoples liking, but he has confidence.
With his good looks and polite behaviour, he can attract almost any girl he
covets. He can get any job he wishes for with his near-perfect CV in hand and his
courteous, smart mannerisms.
Sasuke Uchiha seems to be the perfect man. He has everything any man longs
for.
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But he thinks there is still something missing.
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He feels empty.
No. Its not in his stomach, not in his mind, or in any other organ either. He feels
as though someone has reached in within him and has taken the one thing that means the
most: his heart.
Whenever he looks at the mirror, he doesnt feel any sense of satisfaction with
his appearance, or his perfect grades, or with the money and countless heirlooms his
parents had left him.
He feels hollow, as though his only purpose is to look good in every aspect of
his life and being.
And he doesnt know what to do about this sensation. It simply lingers.
***
There was a poster on one of the shop windows that caught my eye as I left the
flat. It was a poster of Seven Samurai, a film made in the 50s that was set in the Sengoku
Period of Japan. Id never seen this film before, nor did I know the plot. All I knew was
that it was said to be one of the greatest films ever made.
But thats not the reason why it made me stop and think for a moment.
For others, samurai was just another word out of the many thousands. For me, it
was a word filled with nostalgia.
Several images flashed in my mind at that very moment: the little boy I once was
many years ago, dressed in a samurai garb and clutching the wooden sword tightly,
clumsily swinging at my father who dodged the sword with ease.
My mother was chuckling at the scene, encouraging me to get my father. It was
a memory I had made a point of avoiding, but now I couldnt do so any longer.
I turned around swiftly, to the direction of the block I lived in. Naruto could
wait. I wanted to look at that armour again.
***
During the first six years of my life, my parents and I had a comfortable, idyllic
life. I dont remember a lot before the age of six, only a few vague images of scattered
scenarios. This feeling, this problem, began then.
We lived in a large house in one of the quieter, wealthier streets of Brighton at
the time, our house abounding with numerous rooms, furnished with various paintings
and sculptures that had been heirlooms from my grandparents or bought at prices that
would raise eyebrows.
My father, Fugaku Uchiha, was a stern man. Even though he had inherited a lot
of his wealth from his father, he was a hard-worker. This he had always taught me: to
work hard for my living and to not just live a complacent, luxurious life all off of his and
my mothers money. And I obeyed him obediently, more out of respect rather than fear. I
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never really felt fear in his presence; I felt awed at him, occasionally overwhelmed with
joy when he praised my efforts.
My mother, Mikoto Uchiha, was his opposite in various aspects. She smiled an
awful lot more than my father; she spoiled me, whereas my father would try not to; she
was openly affectionate, showering me with hugs, whilst my father would almost never
even lay a finger on me, only patting me on the head occasionally if he was feeling
charitable.
Sometimes, however, when my father was in a very good mood, he would let me
dress in the samurai armour that was in the spare wardrobe. My father was Japanese,
and he had told me that the armour was an heirloom that had been passed down to the
many generations of his family.
The armour and the helmet that came with it were clearly too big for me, but my
mother begged me to wear it. The sight of me dressed in a samurai armour that hung off
my body and a helmet that obscured my vision amused my mother greatly, so I always
ended up agreeing. I liked hearing the sound of her laughter, and I also liked wearing the
armour.
My father would then teach me the basic moves of kendo, but I never really
managed to master them. The armour, helmet, and the sound of her laughing always
managed to hinder the learning process, but we still enjoyed it nonetheless.
***
Despite their differences, my mother and father were happy together. Although
my father never seemed to show it as much as my mother did, I could tell that he was.
And I was, too.
It was sometime during April, when I was six, that it started to go downhill. A
week or so after my sixth birthday in July the previous year, my mother had become
pregnant. I was an only child, so the thought of having a sibling to play with excited me,
waiting restlessly during those nine months that followed.
On the 3
rd
of April, my mother went into labour. My father drove her to the
closest hospital, while I remained at home with our housekeeper, literally numb with joy.
It had turned out that I was going to have a little brother.
A brother to play with. A brother to teach things to. A brother to care for.
So I sat by the entrance of the house, waiting in anticipation. I remember
imagining them arriving home, my mother tired yet still smiling as brightly as she always
did; my father tentatively holding my little brother, rocking him in his arms with a small
smile playing at his mouth.
No one entered the house for hours. The sun, which had been shining in the blue
sky when I began waiting had set. The sky darkening with a blend of blues and purples. I
continued waiting for hours on end, refusing to eat, refusing to go to my bed.
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When I awoke later, I was in my bed. Realising that I had been waiting for my
parents since yesterday, I ran out of my room, down the staircase, and into our living
room.
I had expected my mother to be sitting there with the baby in her lap: dark eyes
gazing intently at my little brother with tenderness as he grabbed her fingers clumsily. I
had expected my father to be sitting next to her: an arm wrapped lightly around her
fragile-looking shoulder, while staring at my little brother with the same emotions
twinkling in his eyes.
The sight that greeted me was not what I had thought.
My father was seated close to the window, his hair and clothes in complete
disarray, gazing outside absentmindedly. He didnt seem to notice me call him, or tug on
his shoulder. When he finally did acknowledge my presence, he told me to go back to
sleep. Confused, I had told him it was morning, but he did not reply further.
As I later found out, there had been complications during the pregnancy. I never
knew what these complications were, only that they had left my mother and the small
child within her, my baby brother, dead.
I didnt cry. Maybe because what I felt was sorrow, anger, but most of all,
confusion. I never fully understood the situation at the time. I couldnt comprehend, let
alone acknowledge, the fact that my mother and baby brother were gone and I would
never see them for the rest of my life.
I tried asking my father once about this, after the funeral.
He simply didnt reply. It wasnt because he didnt want to, but due to the fact
that he couldnt hear me. Everyone that talked to him, offered their condolences, talked
of her will, but he couldnt really hear. He, too, was at a loss as to how to comprehend
this fact.
Throughout the weeks that followed, my father did not speak a single word to
anyone unless it was of greatest importance. I remember that although he was looking at
his surroundings, they were not really seeing; they were completely lost.
He stopped working as well, paying no attention to those annoyed at his
behaviour. He simply wandered around the house, as though he was a ghost haunting the
place rather than its owner.
When he wasnt at home, he was in his car, driving to nowhere and anywhere.
Sometimes, he would be home after half an hour, other times, he wouldnt be back for
days.
One day though, the 21
st
of June, I saw him getting ready to leave the house. I
didnt say anything to him, but I knew he sensed my presence.
He turned around to face me and looked at me, looked directly and properly at
me for the first time in so long.
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His dark eyes were strangely clear as they moved across my face, slowly and
carefully perusing my features. And then, after a minute of silence, he said to me:
Youve grown, Sasuke.
I was too shocked to reply, and he didnt seem to care about my response
anyway.
That was the last time I saw him.
While driving at some unknown junction, another man rammed his car directly
into my fathers, completely obliterating my father and his car. He died from the injuries
the crash left him.
Even that time, upon discovering of the news, I still didnt cry. I never really
found out the real reason why I didnt. I guess it was because I lost so much that I
stopped caring.
I recalled thinking, as the coffin was lowered to the ground, that even though he
was killed on that day of June, the day that he truly died was on the 3
rd
of April. He was a
dead man from then on, a body with no soul, no feeling.
Nothing.
Only memories remained from the man that I once knew as my father.
***
Back then, when he died, I finally understood the severity of the situation. I
finally realised that my mother was dead, my father was dead, and my unborn brother
was dead. I wasnt as confounded as I had been before. I didnt feel like the confused
child I had been those months before.
There was then the question of who was going to take custody of me, and what
would become of the house and the will.
In the end, I found out that the housekeeper, Catherine Hyde, was my mothers
cousin on her mothers side of the family since her father was Japanese. She was the only
relative I had at that time.
Catherine was a stern woman of forty-five years of age, who had treated me
fairly with compassion, but also with a certain amount of assertiveness prior to the
deaths of my family. She ended up taking me in.
***
It was entailed in their joint will that I was to inherit most of their estate, along
with the priceless paintings, statues and other heirlooms. Catherine had also been listed
as a beneficiary and she was to inherit about a quarter of their joint estate.
***
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It was about a week after the death of my father that I moved out from the house.
It was a vexatious process, especially since I didnt know what to do with all the
heirlooms. Catherine had suggested selling the heirlooms that werent needed, but I
refused to.
So in the end, they were kept in the house and another housekeeper was hired to
take care of the house in our absence.
That warm day in July was the last time I saw my house for many years.
***
Catherines house was small, but quaint. She lived with her husband, Adam,
who was 3 years her senior. He was a quiet, calm man who always seemed to be relaxed,
whereas Catherine always seemed to be agitated. They had only one child, a daughter,
but she was in her mid-20s and had moved to London.
Life in their house was quiet, relaxed, serene; reminiscent of my life with my
mother and father. They werent as happy as how my parents had been, but there was a
shared feeling of contentment between the two.
They treated me with kindness, especially Catherine. During the first week I
began residing there, her personality had softened towards me completely. But it didnt
attenuate the sense of loss at all. Actually, it was rather annoying, having to listen to her
voice that seemed to be dripping with sympathy and pity.
I didnt respond to her newly acquired compassion and simply ignored her.
Soon enough, she stopped treating me with that uncharacteristic way and went back to
her usual state of agitation and severity.
***
Throughout the years that followed, my life was fairly uneventful. I had gone
through all these years mostly in silence, just thinking. As Catherine and Adam
conversed, or watched one of those clich soaps on TV, I would sit in silence. Just
thinking.
I would think of the family I once had.
Sometimes, I would imagine what it wouldve been like to have a little brother. I
would imagine advising him on various petty details of life, playing the games Id seen
other children played at school, teasing him when he got a girlfriend. All those scenarios
would play in my mind and that sharp feeling of sorrow would continuously stab at my
carefully made walls of self-restraint.
When I grew older, I would go out for walks to clear my head. They were
refreshing, but the only downside was that people would stare at me incessantly,
whispering quietly to one another. Most of them would say the same things: I was the
poor boy who lost his parents. My mother died in childbirth. My father died in a car
crash. I had no more family left. It was always something along those lines.
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It was annoying, to hear them talking non-stop about me, so soon enough, I
stopped going for walks.
I stopped leaving the house, except for going to school. And school was just as
annoying. For a while, whenever I would enter the classroom, the sound of everyone
talking would fade away. No one would ever greet me, and I wouldnt greet them. All
their eyes were on me as I walked across the room to my seat.
Only one boy in class bothered talking to me. Naruto Uzumaki, a complete idiot
and the class clown. How very peculiar it was though, that he was the only one I ever felt
like talking to, even if it was only to call him an idiot.
Naruto was very irritating. His mouth could never quite fully close, even if the
teachers had always told him to shut up. He was always talking and rambling on and on
about some unimportant anecdote he found funny. And he always seemed to make a fool
out of himself; most of the time, it was unintentional. He never seemed to care about it at
all.
For some unknown reason, it was in Uzumaki Naruto, that annoying thirteen
year old, that I made my first and only friend.
***
As soon as I graduated, I got a job at the local supermarket, and worked there in
the weekends. I went to college during weekdays, taking Maths, Economics, Biology and
Chemistry. And when I wasnt at college or at work, I would stay at Catherines house
and study.
Wake up. Shower. Eat. College. Work. Dinner. Study. Sleep. That was my
routine. I made no time for anyone else, even for Naruto. I almost never saw him then,
since we went to different colleges. The only form of contact I had with him was his long,
sometimes unintelligible texts or emails. Nevertheless, they never failed to amuse me.
Those two years of my life continued in that unrelenting routine, almost
remaining completely undisturbed, save for Narutos occasional messages and other
small matters. My life at that point felt like a song on a seemingly permanent loop.
***
Those two years left me with As in all my A level courses, and a couple of
thousand pounds. I resigned from my job, to the dismay of my manager, but I had to
continue with my plans.
***
A week after my 18
th
birthday, I told Catherine and Adam that they didnt need
to take care of me anymore. I told them that I was going to sell my old house and that I
would be moving to London.
I had been looking at the flats there weeks before my birthday and had found
one I liked. I had already paid for it, so I wasnt going to stay in their house any longer.
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They asked a few more times if I was sure about it, probably for self-
reassurance, and I told them that I was. I then assured the two of them that as soon as I
got my full-time job, I would send them money in return for their gracious and hospitable
treatment of me, to which the both of them insisted that I shouldnt.
Adam simply shook my hand, a calm smile on his face, whereas Catherine took
hold of me, taking me by surprise. Her grip was tight; her smell sweet and inviting,
vaguely reminiscent of my own mother.
I remember feeling something for her, at that very moment. Maybe some sort of
affection that a child would have towards his mother.
But just as quickly as she had grabbed me, her arms released me, and that
sensation left with her.
***
A week later, I had already sold the house and the majority of the invaluable
heirlooms at an auction. The only ones I didnt sell were the samurai armour, two
wooden swords that had the insignia of my fathers ancestors on the hilt, and a few
golden bangles my mother wore.
(I can still hear the ringing of the bangles resonating in my ears now; everytime
I pick up that same jingling noise, thoughts of my mother haunt me.)
I got a lot of money from selling them, but I never dared to use it, only leaving
the acquired cash in the bank. Even then, I never had the urge to forget my fathers
advice, as though it was some unspoken rule.
The only time I ever resorted to use his money was in buying the flat and some
necessaryappliances. I immediately found a part-time job at the local supermarket to pay
off my debt to him and worked there in the weekends.
About a week or two after I moved into London, I began applying for several
different universities. I managed to get into my first choice, and went on to study Maths
and Economics.
I made no friends at university either. During my first year there, I would
sometimes sit in the field at lunchtime, eating or reading a book. Other times, I would
simply take the train home. From there, I would go into one of the cafs close to my flat.
It would be those times when my mind would drift to that idiot Naruto. He had
continued to keep in touch, although it was mostly him who was making the effort of
sending an email or text.
He had told me he was working in a caf, and that there was a girl working with
him who he was really attracted to. He then asked me how he should pick her up. I felt
like laughing, but settled for a smile, and didnt bother responding to his message.
***
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That feeling of emptiness had always been there.
And it continued to haunt me all this time, residing within and gradually eating
me away. But I always managed to hide it, mostly by overexerting myself in both my job
and at the university. Narutos messages also helped, even if they were mostly pointless
and stupid.
I continued to push myself to drive that sensation away.
But it never left me. I suppose it never would. No matter what I do, it would still
be there.
Those taxing three years finally ended and brought me to where I currently am.
I graduated from a university, and I resigned from my job at the supermarket. I had
rewritten my CV and planned on finding a full-time job.
***
As I surveyed my flat, taking in the sight of the unfurnished walls and floors, I
felt as hollow as it was. I had never bothered to decorate the place with the few heirlooms
I kept. I hid all the heirlooms away, in a wardrobe that I hadnt opened for years. I
suppose its symbolic, really, of how Id kept my past away in a corner of my mind.
But now, for the first time in so many years, after seeing that movie poster, I
decided to look at them, especially the samurai armour.
***
It is 12:30 when Uchiha Sasuke arrives at the caf ten minutes away from the
block he lives in. He visits it now and then ever since he graduated from the university,
mostly to get away from the silence and emptiness of his flat. Today, he thinks, is a
special occasion of sorts. He hides a wry smile at the thought as he orders a croissant and
a cup of earl grey tea.
Today, his friend, Uzumaki Naruto, is moving to London. In his message, he
had also said that his close friend was coming to live with him as well. Sasuke had
replied, saying that they were to meet at this caf by thirty minutes after midnight.
It takes only a few more minutes of anticipation and occasional sips of the warm
tea before he finally sees the matured face of his old friend, talking to another person as
he enters.
***
As Naruto enters the caf, his eyes quickly dart across the large, well-furnished
room, taking in the many unfamiliar faces before finally landing on his friend. His mouth
stretches into a broad grin as he turns back to his close friend and former crush, Sakura
Haruno.
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Look, Sakura, there he is! he exclaims brightly, gesturing to the table where
his friend is sitting with a finger. She holds back a sigh at his lack of subtlety and glances
at the pointed direction, her eyes landing on his friend.
Is that him? she asks, incredulous, before adding in an uncertain tone, He
doesnt seem like the type of person youd be friends with.
What do you mean? is Narutos innocent reply.
Well, look at him. Hes all prim and proper; neat and tidy. And you, well,
youre the complete opposite of him, to put it frankly.
You know what they say, opposites attract! Anyway, youll see how deep our
friendship is.
The blond, indelicate twenty-one year old begins walking with an unnaturally
quick pace towards the table.
If you say so, Sakura says, even though she knows he isnt listening, before
following Naruto. She snorts when she sees his feet slip on the carpeted floor because of
his quick pace.
Sasuke! Naruto exclaims brightly, as his friend looks up at him in annoyance.
Idiot, the aforementioned man replies bluntly, before looking away and
drinking from his mug.
Hey, thats not how you treat a friend after all these years. Do you know how
long its been? Five years! Can you believe it?
Yes.
That was supposed to be a rhetorical question!
I wonder where you learned such a big word.
At college! is Narutos proud reply.
Sakura, meanwhile, watches the conversation in mild surprise and interest for a
few moments, before deciding to sit down to ease her fatigue.
Yes, I did go to college, its no joke. Dont look so surprised, bastard!
Sasuke has stopped bothering to listen to Naruto and is simply drinking his tea
amusedly. By this time, Naruto realises he has neglected Sakuras introduction far too
long.
Oh yeah, bastard, this is Sakura. She was in my class for sociology in college.
Sakura, prove to him I went to college! Anyway, Sakura, this is Sasuke, A.K.A. the
bastard. After finishing with the introduction, Naruto leans back and waits for them to
greet each other.
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Hi, I would say Im Sakura but you already know that. And yes, Naruto did go
to college, she tells him with an amused smile on her face.
Sasuke, for the first time, acknowledges her presence and looks at her.
She is a peculiar girl. She has a small, heart-shaped face with high cheekbones.
There is still a bit of puppy fat in her cheeks, which adds to her childlike, elfin look. She
has a pair of bright, clear green eyes, framed with pale-coloured eyelashes. But the most
peculiar thing of all, she has long, soft-pink hair that goes down to her waist. Briefly, he
wonders if it is natural, or whether she wants to be different and has dyed it.
As though she can read his thoughts, she adds, And just to let you know, my
hair is naturally this colour.
I didnt ask, he replies coolly.
You were thinking of it.
And how would you know that?
Its what everyone thinks when they first see me.
He only grunts in response, and takes a bite out of his croissant, only sipping
from his tea after chewing. In retaliation to his rudeness, Sakura simply rolls her eyes and
stares at Naruto expectantly to start off the conversation.
Naruto, now noticing the tension between the two of them, decides to intervene.
Hey, Sasuke, do you remember Hinata Hyuuga? She was that really shy girl in
our class, you know? Shes the one who had a weak body and would faint a lot.
What of her? he replies, finally setting his cup of tea on the table and wiping
the flakes of his croissant with a tissue.
Well, youll never guess what happened. A couple of weeks before when I was
trying to find a place in London, I took the train. And guess who I saw on the train?
Sasuke doesnt bother replying, already aware of the answer, and Naruto doesnt
bother waiting for it either, continuing with his story.
It was Hinata! I saw her sitting alone, reading a book and I decided to sit next
to her. She was so shocked to see me, and turned bright red. You know bastard, she was
very pretty. He smiles softly, imagining her blushing face. I never knew she was so
pretty.
Maybe thats because youve never really looked at her properly? Sakura adds
exasperatedly, before deciding to order a cup of coffee.
Well, if I did, it would look weird if I stare at Hinata very closely. Shed
probably faintshe always fainted whenever a guy got too close to her. Ive never
understood it, but oh well. Sasuke hides a smile at this; the only times she ever fainted
was when Naruto got too close to her. Naruto is clearly too dense to notice this.
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So, anyway, I started talking to her, asking her how she was. She said she was
in her third year of medical school and that she was on her way to visit a friend. I was
talking to her for a while, and when it came to my stop, we exchanged phone numbers.
Naruto pauses for a moment, deep in thought. Hey Sasuke, did Hinata have a lisp oror
a speech impediment in high school?
Sasukes mouth stretches into an amused smirk.
Why do you ask? comes his sarcastic, vaguely amused reply.
Because she kept on stuttering when we were talking.
Is that so?
Yeah, it was really strange, because Ive never heard her talk like that.
Youve never heard her talk at all you idiot, Sasuke thinks, but he chooses not to
voice his thoughts aloud. He wants to avoid an argument today.
Meanwhile, Sakura has sat back down in her seat and has set down her mug of
coffee on the table. A spiral of steam rises from the clear white mug her fingers clutch
onto, and she breathes in the sharp smell. The warmth that comes with the steam relaxes
and soothes her, completely eradicating her anger at Sasuke, as she watches their
conversation in contented silence.
Fifteen minutes later, at about a quarter to one, Narutos phone vibrates. The
vibrations spread to his right leg from his pocket, causing him to drop his extra large
toffee muffin on the floor.
Damn! he mutters as he picks up the muffin. A strangled noise comes from
Sakura, whoupon realising that she cant hold a straight facedecides to hide her
laughter in a fit of coughing. Sasuke, in turn, smiles wryly at Narutos misfortune, but it
disappears just as quickly as it had appeared.
After throwing the muffin in the bin, Naruto slides his hand into his pocket and
yanks out his mobile. One new message, the screen reads. He opens the message and
scans through the words quickly, a broad grin breaking out onto his face as he finishes
reading. Sliding his phone back into his pocket, Naruto gets up quickly from his seat and
picks up his bag off the floor.
Sorry guys, have to go.
Naruto then leaves the caf quickly before they can voice their questions about
his vague statement.
The two of them now sit in silence upon being left alone, both having finished
their tea and coffee.
The silence continues for about one more minute until Sakura cant stand the
awkwardness any longer.
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Look, umIm sorry if I offended you by, uh, assuming that you were thinking
about the colour of my hair. I have a bad habit of jumping to conclusions and I
She stops, upon realising that Sasuke is not paying attention to a single word of
hers.
And I dont even know why Im apologising to you when youre not even
listening to me!
Sasukes eyes turns towards her direction.
I was.
Oh really? Then what did I say?
That you have a bad habit of jumping to conclusions. Before she can ask
about what she had said before that, he continues, And before that, you were
apologizing for assuming that I was thinking about the colour of your hair.
You know, youre lucky that you have such good memory, Sakura hisses, her
eyes narrowing in anger.
Sasuke raises his eyebrows at her.
Is that so? comes his sardonic tone.
Youre so annoying!
Well, look whos talking.
Sakura gives up trying to counter him. Its too vexing for her.
Look. She sighs, rubbing her eyes wearily. I-Im not trying to start an
argument with you, I was only trying to apologize. But, I suppose I can make an
exception and forgive your rudeness.
Once again, Sasukes eyebrows rises.
Because if youre as special as Naruto makes you out to be, then why should I
go against his judgement? Sasuke doesnt reply to this, and Sakura, instead of
continuing, stands up, clutching onto her bag.
Come on, lets go for a walk. I think we need a bit of fresh air.
Sasuke, for the first time, agrees with her and gets up as well.
***
You know, when I said that thing about Narutos judgement?
Sasuke tilts his head to her direction. She seems so small next to him, he notices
idly. Her arms and legs are thin. Almost too thin.
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Well, thats because he always seems to have a good understanding of peoples
personalities. Naruto has always been strangely intuitive, even if he can be a complete
idiot at times. For the second time, Sasuke finds himself agreeing with her.
Anyway, I wasnt just in Narutos sociology class in college. I got a part-time
job then in a caf, and he was my co-worker.
So she was the one he had a crush on then, he thinks as his mouth stretches into
a smirk. Sakura, upon noticing his smirk, asks him what he finds so amusing.
Its nothing, he simply says in return and Sakura leaves it at that.
Well, anyway, we barely talked in sociology. Mostly because hed say the
stupidest things and it would annoy me. Naruto was just trying to entertain everyone and
he couldnt be serious for a single moment, which really got on my nerves. So I distanced
myself from him.
But, in the caf, I got to know him. And I suppose, I finally warmed up to him.
But thats not the main point.
She falters in her steps and pauses for a while. Sasuke, noticing that she has
halted, also pauses and turns to face her. She is in deep thought, he can tell.
He plans to tell her to hurry up, when those bright green eyes turns to face him,
wide and expressive.
Do you know what he would talk to me about most of the time? He would
always tell me that there was this boy he befriended in high school, before I moved to the
area. He would say how he was such a bastard, always taking the piss out of his stupidity
and embarrassing him in front of the class.
Sakura then continues, still staring at him with such intensity.
But then, his expression would soften, and he would tell me, But Sakura, out
of all the students in our class, he talked only to me. He was lonely, that much I could
understand because I know the feeling myself. And I guess, I mustve helped lessen his
loneliness. Perhaps, I mustve amused him. And it made me happy. I would tell Naruto
hes such a strange person, but thats who he was. Who he is. The lonely boy who helps
others.
A soft, motherly smile embosses her small mouth.
And do you know how happy he was, whenever he received one of your
messages? His smile was so bright it would literally light up the whole caf and
immediately cheer everyone up.
So, if Naruto thought so well of you, then Im sure you mustve lived up to
your reputation. Thats why, like Naruto, I wont give up on you either. And then she
smiles at him, beaming. For a moment, she could have been mistaken for a relative of
Naruto with that smile.
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***
Later that day, in the evening, in the emptiness of his flat, there is one image that
simply wont leave Sasukes mind: that vivacious smile and her twinkling green eyes. All
the words she had said continue to haunt his mind, its effect strangely powerful upon
him.
Haruno Sakura, he thinks for the second time that day, definitely is a peculiar
girl.
***
The three of them continue to meet up like this quite frequently, always in that
same caf by that same table. First Sasuke will arrive, and then Naruto and Sakura will,
only a minute or two after Sasuke.
Sometimes, however, Sakura will arrive on her own to see Sasuke. Why, Sasuke
never really knows, and although he pretends that it is annoying, deep in the back of his
mind, he knows her company isnt so bad.
When its only the two of them together in the caf, they will then leave after a
while and go for a walk in the same path they did on that first day. On these days, Sakura
will tell him about herself and her life.
He has now learned an awful lot more about her. Shes twenty years old, born
on the 28
th
March; she had taken Biology, Chemistry, Sociology and History at college
and had gotten As in all these subjects, both in AS level and A level. Shes planning on
going to medical school but has taken a break for a year to do some voluntary work and a
bit of travelling. Next year, she plans on pursuing her plans.
Sasuke has also told her a bit about himself, about his degree and his grades and
other little details, but not nearly as much detail as she has done.
Its on one of those days, though, while theyre walking in the streets that
Sakura finally decides to ask him about one of part of his life he doesnt want to revisit.
Um, along with the many other things he told me, Naruto also said that you had
a She hesitates for a few long seconds, which surprises him. During these past two
weeks or so, he has learned that she always says whatever is on her mind straightaway.
She continues, after about five seconds, He also told me that you had quite a
rough childhood.
Sasuke turns to face her.
His face is expressionless. His eyebrows are straight. His mask is perfectly in
place.
Yet his eyes seem to gleam with unspoken fury, taking her by surprise.
The next words have been spoken in a cold tone, Thats none of your
business.
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He turns away from her and continues to walk.
Sakura feels a pang of regret at asking him as she quickens her pace to catch up
to him.
***
Im sorry. Its a soft murmur, but it seems to echo so loudly in Sasukes ears.
Plenty of people had attempted asking Sasuke about his childhood, even when
they themselves had heard about. He supposes its down to the fact that they have been so
shocked that they needed confirmation, but he never told them a word about it.
Youre right; its none of my business. Im not in any place to force you to tell
me something you dont want to talk about. Her tone is regretful. I-I guess I just
wanted to get to know you better. I mean, I barely know you as it is, we only met about a
fortnight ago for gods sake.
Yet now, he feels such a strong urge to tell Sakura everything. His more sensible
half tells him he doesnt need to, but this urge to tell her everything, not just about his
past, but everything, even his recent problemthe feeling is so strong.
I was being ignorant of your feelings, so once again, Im sorry. Ive probably
brought up so many bad memories
What do you want to know? his voice is quiet as he interrupts her. His
question seems to surprise not only Sakura, but also himself.
Everything. I want to know you better than anyone else, even Naruto.
And so, without having any second thoughts, he tells her everything on his
mind. Everything about his past, and the nostalgic memories; his life at school, college
and university; the emptiness he feels. Everything.
***
They meet up more and more frequently, at least three times a week. Naruto
rarely comes with Sakura, and neither seems to care much.
Each week that passes, Sasuke seems to learn more about Sakura. Each week
that passes, Sakura seems to want to know more and more about him. And he never
withholds any little detail. He never can.
The words will leave his mouth before his mind can even work out whether to
tell her or not.
***
Hey, Sasuke. He turns to face her, taking in the little details of her face: The
round, smooth curve of her cheekbone; the strikingly bright greenness of her eyes, a light
sea green; the smooth tip of her small nose.
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Have you ever thought about how quickly time goes by? He remains silent,
waiting for her to continue. Many people say time goes by slowly, but it doesnt. I mean,
nine years ago, in September, I was getting ready for my first day of high school. It feels
like it happened only yesterday.
I can still remember my last day of year ten so clearly. I was worried about
going into year eleven, about exams, about leaving school, about college and university,
just about the future in general. So many people told me that I should calm down, that
college and university was a long way from me.
Her voice turns despondent. And here I am, five years from then, at the age of
20. Next year, Im going to be in the university. If all goes well, in five years time too,
Ill graduate with a degree in Medicine. Then Ill be a junior doctor, living away from my
friends and family in a city Ive never even heard of. And of course, Ill be alone.
The two of them have slowed in their pace, taking each step calmly and
leisurely.
Thats the one thing I hate. Loneliness. I hate the feeling so much, even if I
havent experienced a lot of it. Even though I was an only child, my parents and friends
were always there to keep me company and only now do I realise how grateful I should
be for it. Now, though, Im going to be completely on my own. And the thought of it
scares me.
The two of them are silent as they continue walking.
Youll get used to it.
Sakuras head turns to face him.
I could never get used to it. No one could ever get used to being lonely. Its in
human nature to long for the company of another person.
Anyone can get used to being alone, whether they like it or not.
And have you?
Her voice is calm, but questioning.
Have you gotten used to being lonely?
Yes.
But you have Naruto. You have me.
Then, he does something she doesnt expecthe smiles. Its a small one, a wry,
ironic smile.
Maybe now, you two will keep me company. But the two of you have a
different path in life than me. We can never follow the same path. In time, you and
Naruto will continue with your lives and forget about me. And I will continue with
mine.
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This time, Sakura smiles, pensive.
You know, its funny, you saying that I will forget you.
She casts her eyes downwards, glistening in the warm light of the sun.
Its even ironic. Her eyes flick upwards now, to his face. Because I just cant
stop thinking about you. The thought of forgetting you is laughable, honestly. Ever since
that first day I met you, your face has never left my mind.
I think that, no matter how much I try preoccupying myself with other matters,
your face, your voice, every little detail about what youve told meI will never forget
them.
He says nothing in response to her and she doesnt mind so much. Her words,
however, has a huge impact on him. And later that day, in the emptiness of his flat, he
finds himself feeling just as she does.
***
They meet again, later that week. As it later turns out, Naruto has been too busy
meeting up with Hinata to meet up with Sasuke. The two of them have began going out,
Sakura tells him with a huge grin on her face. Its quite clich, really, their relationship.
Both Sasuke and Sakura know that its only a matter of time before they will hear of it; in
fact, they both have expected it to happen a lot quicker than a month.
They took their time! Sakura says in the caf earlier that day, lips stretching
into a broad grin, one that Sasuke finds increasingly familiar. The two of them get up
from their seats and leave the caf, walking leisurely along the streets that they have
become so familiar with.
They walk in silence mostly. It isnt awkward; on the contrary, its quite
calming and comfortable, really, to be able to walk in silence and think without having to
start a conversation.
Hey His head tilts to her direction almost automatically. It is an action he
has become so used to. You remember what I said then?
Hn.
Is that a yes or a no?
Yes.
You know, I meant it. I really cant stop thinking about you.
I know.
Because you cant stop thinking about me either?
She doesnt really mean it seriously.
Yes.
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He just takes it seriously, anyway.
What did you say?
I said yes.
But to what? What were you agreeing with?
That I cant stop thinking about you either.
Her cheeks flush a soft pink.
Wha-What do you mean?
Just that.
That you cant stop thinking about me?
Yes. He smirks. How many times do I need to say it so youll believe me?
Her fingers, which seem to be trembling from shock, slowly knot through his.
He isnt as surprised as he shouldve been.
A billion times! Her eyes face the ground, cheeks burning. And even then, I
still wont believe you.
Its amusing, he concludes in his mind, the sight of her blushing so heatedly.
Stop staring at me!
Why?
Be-Because!
Of?
Just because!
***
It has been a year since Naruto and Sakura moved to London. In the previous
year, about two months after arriving, Sakura moved in with Sasuke, though Naruto
didnt seem to mind so much, preferring to live by himself.
It is about 6:00 am in the early morning of a relaxed Sunday.
The hazy morning light streams through the half open curtains. The light pours
over the shape of their still bodies, covered under the bed sheet. Her long hair, pallid
coral, is splayed across the clear white pillow. His arm, elbow bent, is wrapped across her
figure, fingers clenched. Her head rests on his other arm; her fingers spread open on the
planes of his torso.
Sasuke slowly opens his eyes and simply looks at this peculiar woman beside
him.
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As he takes in her warmthher beauty and the peace she brings within himhe
finally becomes aware that the spaces, the gaps, the cracks are gradually being filled.
And he feels, feels something stir inside his chest.
And for the first timenot even when his mother, and baby brother, and his
father are deadthere is a warm tingling in his eyes.
He sees Sakura as she tenderly touches his cheek. Sasuke?
He closes his eyes and allows himself a small smile, placing his hand over hers
in a quiet, certain assurance.
At last, he lets them fall.
Autompne
She remembers that brilliant autumn day, gold sunlight against velvet leaves,
her hands warm in his. They were eight then; a little too young to live and definitely too
young to die. It was five oclock in the afternoon and hed bring her home from school,
simply because his mother thought it was chivalrous.
Thanks for bringing me home today, Sasuke-kun, shed say, her puffed cheeks
red, her eyes shining.
See you tomorrow, Sakura, hed reply, his feet buried under maple leaves, his
breath with wisps of smoke. Church bells rang in the distance indicating that it was his
time to go home.
He always left her with a smile, and shed watch the fan on his back disappear
round the next corner.
See you.
***
and were living in a post-modern world, she stated with pride, her skirt
swishing against her thighs, her shoes crackling against red leaves. It was autumn again.
Maybe someday, to prove that to you, Ill bring you home from school.
He merely glanced at her. Post-modernity doesnt necessarily mean women
have to do mens roles. He walked ahead of her but not too far, staying close enough for
the crowd to know that they were together. I think its just some philosophical excuse
for women to turn lesbians.
Sakura sighed, catching up to him in two strides. Tsk tsk, Sasuke-kun, youre
such a fan of the traditional! Why, I never even mentioned lesbianism! I merely said that
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these days,women can prove themselves to men, too. She gave him a playful wink. The
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working woman has long been accepted. But what about the working woman who leaves
her husband to take care of the kids and do the laundry?
Hn, he replied, and it was a sound of disagreement. Sasuke didnt like things
that strayed from the usual. That, and he hated laundry. He gave Sakura a glance; one of
his eyebrows raised.
Sakura sighed; she knew what that look meant. Oh Sasuke-kun, you dont need
to worry, I wont do that to you!
He gave an uncharacteristic snort almost immediately. He attempted to cover it
up, though, so it came out like a shallow cough. Really, the ideas that went into this girls
head were unthinkable. Plainly, he stated, I dont recall asking you to marry me.
Oh you dont need to ruin it. Sakuras tone was irate, but she was grinning.
She twirled around and skipped towards her houses open porch.
Thanks for bringing me home today, Sasuke-kun, she said, like the past few
days, months, years. I wonder why youre still doing this; were in middle school now. I
can go home on my own.
Sasuke shrugged. Do you want to?
It took less than a second for her to reply. Of course not! She smiled a pretty
smile; it was the smile Sasuke knew she only reserved for him, for this moment, for the
times he brought her home.
Sasuke adjusted his grip on his bag and nodded. He liked this. This was routine.
No words about marrying him, leaving him, or doing the laundry. See you tomorrow,
Sakura.
She smiled gratefully.
See you.
And he left then, knowing Sakura was still on the porch, watching his black
gakuen uniform disappear to the autumn night.
He never looked back.
***
Years passed and they continued walking side by side, still never too close but
never too far away. Sasuke was fine with the arrangement. Sakura was frustrated.
Were nineteen now, Sasuke-kun, she said one day, when it was autumn
again. Her short plaid bounced against her thighs. She looked at her reflection in one of
the store windows they passed by; here she was: short skirt, high socks, and brown
loafers, looking completely adorable, but Sasuke still treated her the same. She didnt
even know why she tried. Youve been walking me home for eleven years. Dont you
think you should at least agree to go out on a movie with me?
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He gave a noncommittal grunt.
She sighed. Its not a date, she clarified. Then, knowingly, You wouldnt like
a date.
Sasuke raised an eyebrow at her, his aristocratic features ever unchanging, his
chiseled jaw shut. Cars zoomed by behind him. Who said I wouldnt like a date, he
finally replied, his tone monotonous, not even a question. I dont recall saying that.
Sakura rolled her eyes. I know you, Sasuke-kun, and she sighed, because
sometimes he was really so impossible. If I asked you to go on a date with me youd
ignore me for the rest of my life.
He seemed upset
And no, dont make that face, you know its true.
He shrugged then. Dates are fine.
Sakura shook her head. No, no, you dont say that, Sasuke-kun. Dates are not
fine. They totally go against your personality. She glanced up at him (he had gotten so
tall) and observed how the streetlights played in his eyes. Youre Sasuke-kun. You dont
do dates.
You made that up, he said plainly, giving her a knowing stare. He
remembered the time when she made up something about a woman leaving a man to do
the laundry. I already said dates are fine.
You say that now, but when someday I muster up the courage to ask you
And it was a good enough confession, both of them knew, but it had happened several
times before and neither of them cared. Well, maybe Sakura did. A little. youll reject
me.
Sasuke didnt say anything.
Then Sakura skipped in front of him, turning around so she was facing him
completely. Sasuke had to stop inches away from her to keep from colliding into her. The
early night wind blew her now-waist-length hair, and it fluttered with the breeze, elegant
strands of pink framing her face, gently moving in and out. The last remaining rays of the
sun were reflected on her eyes. She looked sad, dejected, and content all on the same
time. Someday, Sasuke-kun
She began with a wistful tone, and Sasuke had half a mind to cut her off before
she said something he couldnt handle. Sakura was usually unpredictable, but today he
had a bad feeling about what she was going to say.
Sakura he began, but the scene before him made him stop.
The streetlamps were on, and around them, headlights flickered around. The sun
was setting somewhere in the west, giving her a soft waning glowall the lights
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combined made her shimmer in the middle of the dark street, her hair were hues of pink,
red mahogany, then pink again. Her cheeks flushed, her skin white smooth and creamy.
She looked beautiful.
She smiled at him, sadly, and her eyes were shining wet.
Youll break my heart.
Sasuke didnt speak then, for he couldn't; he just stared at her for a while,
wondering what to say
Until he realized that they were already in front of her house, and she had
skipped to the porch just like always. Without further ado, she smiled and said, Thanks
for bringing me home today, Sasuke-kun.
As if nothing had happened.
Sasuke gave a blank stare, and nodded.
See you, Sakura.
When he walked away today, Sakura didnt watch his back. But since he never
looked back, he wouldnt know that.
From behind her houses door, Sakura wept.
See you.
***
Its nice you still do this for me even when were in different colleges, she
mused. Her skirt was still short, her socks still long, but her brown loafers were black
heels. Isnt it tiring, going out of the way to fetch me?
He shook his head. Its routine. He glanced at her then, and didnt expect to
see a small frown on her face. He sighed; he didnt mean her. Its part of my day, he
corrected.
Sakura grinned. No need to change what you said, Sasuke-kun, she started,
proud. Im fully aware of how large my role is in your life. She gave a large smile,
sincere, and looked to him for approval.
Sasuke didnt speak again, like he always did when Sakura made strange flirty
comments like that. It wasnt because he rejected her, surely not; most of the time, he just
didnt know what to say. He glanced back at her and gave a curt nod, his face not really
agreeing but not really disagreeing, either.
Had it been anyone else, it would have been an awkward moment. Luckily,
Sakura knew well enough.
She changed the subject.
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So anyway, Sasuke-kun, she said, pulling her jacket tighter around herself,
because it was autumn again and the wind was strong. You have to fetch me earlier one
day. I want to introduce you to one of my classmates. His name is Hyuuga Neji and you
will love him!
Sasuke gave her a disbelieving look. I most certainly will not love any him
he began before Sakuras strange expression cut him off.
Oh really? she asked, her head tilted and her eyes faced the deep orange sky.
She wasnt in her white lab coat today, Sasuke noticed, and it felt nostalgic. I always
thought after you kissed Naruto you were
Sakura, he stopped her with a stern call. His face was blank and his stare
annoyed. Sakura thought he had also gone pale. That was
An accident, she finished for him, laughing. I know, I know. You dont have
to be so uptight about it. She winked at him, and it was familiar, just like her plaid skirt
long socks and leather shoes. I only said youll love Neji-kun because you two are so
much alike!
Neji-kun. Sasuke noticed how the name slipped out of her tongue easily. He
glanced at her. Neji-kun. Somehow, he didnt like it. It was out of routine, her calling
other boys by their first name with that suffix.
Hes all silent too, she began, looking amused. She walked forward and he
noticed she was gaining speed. Usually he was ahead, a few steps in front of her; but
today it was her in front of him, almost skipping. And he comes from a rich family. He
also makes that strange hn sound.
Sasuke glanced at Sakuras animated face and tried not to clench his bag too
tight. Those points hardly make us similar, he said, colder than he had intended. He
closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
I suppose. He heard Sakura say. For a few moments, only their footsteps filled
the empty street. Well, he does agree with me on post-modernism. I mean, he says he
won't mind doing the laundry.
Sasuke opened one eye and glanced at her, only to find that she was smirking.
Unlike some people I know, she added with a giggle.
When they arrived at Sakuras house, Sasuke had relaxed a bit. She was only
teasing, he told himself. He had absolutely nothing to be worried about.
This Hyuuga Neji person wouldnt be ruining the routine.
Well, thanks for bringing me home today, Sasuke-kun, Sakura said, but she
didnt move onto the porch like she usually did. She stayed next to him, breathing softly,
puffing out white smokes of cold air.
Youre not going in yet, Sasuke said plainly. He looked at her and knew why.
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Well, she began unsurely, I just thought it would be nice to stand out here for
a while, enjoy the sunset, look at the sky. Her hand moved casually to her hair, stroking
it. It is a beautiful autumn, and
Sasuke sighed. It looks good on you.
Sakura smiled widely, but had the cheek to pretend to look startled. Huh,
what?
Im not mad about it, he said instead, hand reaching out to touch the end of
her shoulder length locks. He pulled on a few strands casually, and said again, It looks
good on you.
I wasnt worried if you were mad about it, she answered defiantly, but a rosy
blush had spread around her cheeks. She walked slowly to the porch then, and one of her
hands tugged on the same place he did. I just thought it was time for a change.
Hn, was the only thing he replied to it. Then, slowly, Its a good change.
She smiled radiantly. Thank you, Sasuke-kun.
He nodded. See you tomorrow, Sakura.
He walked away, carefully, and didnt look back.
See you.
***
I think, Sakura started, very slowly, that you should stop walking me home,
Sasuke-kun.
They were already by her house. She hadnt entered the porch. It was autumn
and their garden was filled with mahogany-brown leaves, crisp and dead.
Sasuke stared at her. Hyuuga, he spoke the name with unhidden contempt,
monotonous though his voice was. It was an easy guess. She had been talking about him
for days.
Yes, Sakura admitted, her short hair limp, her eyes afraid and dull. Neji-
kun he asked me out yesterday, and I, well She bit her lip. I said yes.
Sasuke didnt speak; Sakura thought he didnt even breathe. She was scared, so
very scared; her relationship with Sasuke was something she treasured deeply, and telling
him this was the last thing she wanted to do. But there were boundaries friends could
haveshould haveand she was quite sure that walking home with him everyday was
constantly blurring the line she had set.
Im sorry, Sasuke-kun, she said sincerely. I I meant to tell you yesterday,
but I was
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Its alright. And he shook his head, as if he had understood something. His
sharp jaw glistened under the lamplights, and Sakura thought she saw his eyes flicker
with anger.
Well And for once it was awkward, so awkward, and Sakura hated it. I
She looked down at her black heels, long socks, and plaid skirt. Every day, she tried to
keep up with his routine. Every day, she let him fetch her at school. Every day, they
talked, she laughed, he almost-smiled, and then they reached her home. Every day, she
said thank you and he said see you.
Every day, she watched him walk away. Every day, he never looked back.
Every day, she gave her heart. Every day, it broke.
She never kept track.
Until now.
A decade of routine. Sasuke was fine with the arrangement. Sakura was
frustrated.
Sakura composed herself. She tried to smile, her thank-you-for-bringing-me-
home-today smile, but all that came out was a small curve of her lip. Thanks for
bringing me home today, Sasuke-kun.
She tried to read his eyes. He wouldnt let her.
Sasuke only nodded and gripped his school bag tighter. See you, Sakura.
He walked away, like he always did, his proud back disappearing around the
next corner, leaves fluttering behind him as if he were taken by the autumn wind.
Sakura didnt even bother to go inside when she cried.
See you.
***
Sasuke-kun! She was beyond angry. Her skirt ruffled against her ankles and
her white heels stomped on the parks concrete tiles. I cant believe you!
He ignored her apparent distress and stood in front of her, like he always did
when he brought her home. The sun was setting but the lamplights werent on yet. The
maple leaves by his feet fluttered a little, but ultimately stayed.
You stopped calling me three years ago. You stopped visiting me way before
that. And then today, you do this? Her emerald eyes glowed brightly against the soft
light, full of anger and passion. I have half a mind to leave you here and
The laundry, he continued for her. Then, in his most serious tone, Ill do it.
Sakura was taken aback. What what are you talking about?
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You can leave me, he said, without a single doubt or break in his voice, You
can leave me for work to take care of the children and do the laundry. His eyes were so
sincere that Sakura immediately ruled out the thought that he had gone crazy. Ill do it.
Sasuke-kun, Sakura sighed, knowing where this was going. She smiled sadly.
That cant happen. She sat down on one of the available benches, smiling wistfully.
You never asked me to marry you.
Sasuke almost-smiled then, except it wasnt an almost-smile. His eyes laughed
as he knelt down beside her, putting both her hands in his. He pulled out the ring on her
finger and threw it to the maple leaves, leaving it to be wisped away with the autumn
breeze.
Sakura looked appalled. Sasuke-kun, what did you do that for? That wasthat
was my
Sasuke, from his kneeling position, only stared at her. With a real smile, he told
her,
Well get a new one.
***
She will forever remember that brilliant autumn day, gold sunlight against velvet
leaves, her hands warm in his. They were twenty-eight now. It was five oclock in the
afternoon and just moments ago he whisked her from somewhere far away. His mother
thought it was chivalrous. The rest of the world thought it was insane.
Thanks for walking me home today, Sasuke-kun, she said, smiling.
Somewhere far away, church bells rang, stopped, then rang again.
Sasuke stared at the sky, thinking of years before and years later. He glanced at
her; she was the same, yet not so the same; her white dress was ruffled, and her hair was
tousled, and one of her heels had broken from running. But she was always with her light
pink hair, and puffed red cheeks, and shining eyes.
Sasuke smiled. Routine. Everyday. Forever.
See you tomorrow, Sakura.
Sakura kissed him on the cheek, and waved.
See you.
That day, Sasuke didnt walk away.
(And there was no need for him to look back.)
Colors and Cliches
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i. Pink hair and rainbow dreams
He is eight years old when he first meets her, and even at eight, it is not a day he
is likely to forget.
It is some kind of event, one his parents calls an art conventionan event that
includes fancy food he does not really like the taste of, colorful drinks that he is not
allowed, and beautiful paintings of places and people that seem all too real, but really
arent. Of course, there are real people as wellmost dressed in tuxedos and gowns,
talking in mixed words and languages that he cannot really understand, in soft tones he
can only be fascinated by. Classy, as his older brother terms it, and he supposes it all is.
Except her.
She is standing in front of a painting, her teeth biting her lower lip and her
brows slightly furrowing in concentration. Reluctantly, he stands beside hernot because
he wants to, but because his mother is taking him there to admire the same canvas of
color hanging on the wall. His mother smiles and whispers, silently approving what she is
seeing.
He stares at the little girl beside him, and wonders if her pink, cotton-candy hair
is a painting, too. She is a scrawny being, reallyall thin arms and legs, and a slightly
puckered face that seems to not know what sunshine is, hence the paleness. It matches the
paleness of her dress, and he wonders if she really is real, or a surreal vision that the
slightest wind will blow away.
Then, she stares at him, as if feeling the gaze. Her eyes are green and bright, he
noticesthey are the only things about her that seem to give off life.
She speaks.
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The paintings pretty, she says.
He doesnt look at the painting, but he nods his head. Slightly.
Youre pretty, she offers, a smile blooming on her lips. It looks awkward and
crooked, but very pleased.
Youre pink, he offers back. Her smile blooms wider.
Im Sakura, she chirps.
Im Sasuke, he intones, in his quieter version.
She practically beams at this, before turning towards the painting once again.
Her eyes go dreamyit is a look he sometimes sees in his mother when she rearranges
her new curtains, or when she is just sitting in her swinging chair in their backyard,
humming a quiet melody to herself.
The girl named Sakura sighs contentedly.
You know what my wish is? she asks.
He doesnt answer, but he nods again. Slightly.
That painting. I want to live there someday.
Slowly, Sasuke turns his head to look, and he doesnt understand. The canvas is
a bright splash of mixed colors that swirl and swirl until he cannot even tell one from the
other.
Its an abstract, he states bluntly, inwardly proud of himself for knowing such
a word.
She merely tilts her head, and gives him a beam.
No. Its a rainbow.
He wants to protest that no, it isnt. Theyre just colors. But he is being dragged
again by his mother, this time away from the painting. And her. He looks back though,
and finds her waving at him. He does not wave back. But he keeps on looking at the girl,
an instinct in him to protect her, to not let that scrawny figure come to harm. He is eight
years old, but he already knows thishis brother, after all, is doing the same thing for
him.
Sasuke smiles a little.
Pink.
ii. Red blood and bitter memories
He is twelve years old when he sees her again, and everything is different.
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They are in middle school, and it is his first day in classfour years away from
town, and he has come back, with only his suitcases, inheritance, and the wealth of
knowledge that his father has inculcated in him even at such a young age. Nothing more.
There is a blond boy that sits next to him and talks so loud that the sound is likely to
damage anyones earsnot to him though, because he isnt even listening. He is merely
brooding, letting the tidal wave of what has happened one month ago wash over him, take
him away from this stupid, stupid place.
Hey, are you even listening to me? I said my name is Uzumaki Naruto, and Im
the greatest student in this school! You better pay attention because youre talking to one
genius here!
The chairs scrape, and shoes scramblebut nobody is really listening to the
exclamation except the last person who comes in, and who stands near the chair in front
of them all, palms flat on the center table and a smile crinkling his half-covered face.
Since you say that, Mr. Uzumaki, can you give me the answer to the homework
I gave yesterday?
There is silence, then a buzz, as the silver-haired man writes the problem on the
board and the self-proclaimed genius tries to stutter out his answersthough none of
them is correct.
Mr. Uzumaki, you can stop now.
But Mr. Hatake, Im really good at this! Im just warming up! Im
Ah, it seems like we have a new student in the middle of the school yearisnt
that grand? Sit down, Naruto. And you dont have to tell me again that your homework
got eaten by an attic monster. Or by your non-existent dog. Uchiha Sasuke, if Im not
mistaken?
Some girls near him giggle, and give him either dreamy-eyed or shy little looks.
He ignores all of them, and pretends the peculiar, grinning (though that cant be for
certain, because most of the cloth is covering the lower half of the mans face) math
teacher he will have to deal with for the rest of the school year is not talking to him at all.
The blond boy, however, is never one for silence.
Mr. Hatake, hes probably just a snobI bet he cant even answer our
homework! Im smart and look at how confusing it all seems to me
104.
Shocked silence.
I beg your pardon? Kakashi Hatake asks, raising an eyebrow.
104, Sasuke repeats quietly, without any interest at all. You just have to add
and divide, and factor it all out. Basic. The class holds their breath as they wait for him
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to explain it further. But he does not, and just stares coolly down on his desk, wishing he
is anywhere but here.
But thats cheating! You
Its 104. Dead lasts probably doesnt know that.
More silencethen, loud chuckles amidst a protesting blond. The teacher then
writes the three mentioned digits on the board, and emphasizes it with a very loud grate
of chalk to underline it.
Well, well. Looks like we have a resident genius in our hands here. That is
correct. Sit down, Narutoseriously.
Bastard, Naruto finally mutters under his breath, scowling and glaring with all
his might. I will beat you next time!
The class once again ignores this, and turns to the board while their teacher
finally commences with the days lessons. Some, though, look back to the raven-haired
boy and wonder why despite his correct answer and seemingly superior attitude, there is a
dark aura surrounding him, making him almost untouchable. He is a bit aware of this, but
not reallyinstead, he disregards them all, and shuts his mind off the lessons that he is
already good at, because his mother has taught them to him already just a year ago.
Because it is a memory that he does not wish to remember, he shuts it off too,
and waits as the bell rings, and takes him to the crowded hall of Konoha Middle School.
It is a big school, he knowsjust as he knows that it is expensive, with kids his age
dressed in the most preppy uniforms in the world (an exaggeration, but not far from the
truth at times), and decked with the finest gadgets ever invented. They are young, but
they are hip, as his brother would have termed, if said person is still alive.
As the wave of pain comes (he nearly staggers in the hall with it, though it
never, ever shows on his face), it is interrupted by the sound in front of hima loud cry,
followed by an equally loud thud. Then, there is snickering, and a flash of pink darts
down, and books and sheets of paper suddenly start flying everywhere.
Go back to your trailer, you freak. What are you even doing here?
The redhead in his class stands above her, sneering. Sasuke sees this and
remains silent. The girl on the floor is equally silent, picking up her books and papers one
by one and straightening her glasses as she stands up, knees wobbling and mouth
trembling as if trying to prevent the tears. She looks up, and by accident their gazes
meethers surprised, his emotionless. He notices that they are the greenest eyes he has
ever seen, and that she is the scrawniest person he has ever met. Ugly, if he has to be
honestit is only accentuated by the ragged uniform she is wearing. She opens her
mouth, as if wanting to say something. To call something out.
He turns around and never looks back, even when he hears her books fall on the
floor again, and the snickerings repeat, and a growl comes out of her mouth (he knows it
comes out of her mouth, that voice, even if he cant explain why) as a high-pitched
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scream comes, demanding for a certain pink freak to let go of the redheads long,
luscious locks (as the redhead repeatedly shrieks it).
The pink triggers his memorybut because it is accompanied by the vision of
his mother with a smile on her face, and the comparable vision of dark red that surrounds
the same woman with eyes cold and blank, and a fatal wound on her chest (blood, lots of
blood dripping from it, flowing like a deadly river on the cold, cold surface), the memory
vanishes, and lets him live in his seclusion once more.
He is twelve years old, and he sees her again. He doesnt recognize her at all.
iii. Purple flowers and lonely graves.
He is thirteen years old when he bumps into her, and it is exactly a year after his
familys death.
He doesnt expect anybody to intrude his visit to the graveyardall he wants,
after all, is privacy, as he brings his mothers favorite flowers, his fathers favorite
musical piece, and his brothers favorite motorcycle picture. He would have rather just
burned them, but he knows that if he does, he will not stop thinking and thinking about it
until he breaks.
And thats not something he is never, ever allowed to do.
As he nears the tombstone where he is to lay the things he has brought along
with him, the sight nearly catches him off-guard.
No, there is no pink-haired girl standing on his familys tombstone, or sitting on
it, or anywhere near it.
But there is one on the neat, flat marble box right beside it. Her eyes are closed,
and there are tears drying on them. Her hands are in a fist with purple flowers clutched
(wildflowers, lots and lots of them) inside. She is breathing slowly, almost evenly, as if
she has been sleeping for hours already.
The box has only one name. Maki Kisha.
He steps forward, not sure whether to be concerned or annoyed. Before he can
decide, his foot snaps a twig. As if on cue, her eyelids flutter, then slowly open. It takes a
long time for the sleepiness to vanish, for the blur to disappear. The pain to settle in and
hide.
When they do, the first thing she does is sit up, and look at him. She looks
surprised again, but only for a moment. Then, she stares at the tombstone beside the box
she is sitting on, and a sad smile lifts the corners of her mouth.
I should have known it was your family.
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Silence.
How did they die?
He does not know why, but his annoyance only surges. She is a nobodyjust a
girl in his school who is constantly being bullied, and who is too weak to stop it from
happening.
Its none of your business, he says bluntly, glaring at her.
She ignores him, and stands uphe notices her knees are badly scraped, and a
bit red. Wincing (because they are probably still tender), she ignores the knees and
divides the flowers in her hands. She places half on the box she had been sitting on
(sleeping on), then crosses the grass to place the remaining blooms on the stones with his
family name. They are wilted, and not at all impressivebut she does not seem to notice
this at all. Or maybe she does not care.
I always visit her, even if shes not my real motherI was adopted, you see. It
doesnt matter. We miss them, and thats whats important.
She tilts her head towards him, and gives the bright roses and memorabilia in his
hands another sad smile.
Youre not cold after all.
Youre annoying.
Not really. But youre still pretty.
The memory jolts once more. She is nodding her head now, and putting a
respectful distance between them, walking away, away
Cotton-candy hair, and a paleness that is surreal, like it is part of something
bigger, a swirl of colors
Who are you?
Silence.
She looks back, and their eyes meet again. This time, she gives him a bright
smile and it makes her eyes sparkle again, almost as if the earlier emotion in them has
never been there.
Im the same girl who wishes to live in the rainbow.
She vanishes and leaves him be, because she now knows he recognizes hernot
the girl in school, but the girl in the classy, ethereal art convention from long ago.
The next day, she never shows up in school again. Nor in the graveyard. He does
not allow himself to wonder why, and to be honest, nobody really notices. Only the most
annoying person in school (even more annoying than that girl) does, because it is all
Naruto ever talks aboutit seems that the blond loudmouth is quite smitten with her,
because he deems her intelligent and kind. Sasuke does not care about all this, of course.
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But he lets himself take note to add another rose to his bouquethe can just maybe put it
on that small marble box, if ever her wildflowers will not show up there.
The wildflowers, like the girl, stop showing up for a long time.
iv. Yellow notebooks and tentative smiles.
He is fifteen years old when she comes back to town, and this time everything is
different again.
He is not as bitter as he had been in the past. Time has gotten to heal all that and
has made him a better person to deal with.
At least, thats what he likes to think so (seriously, thoughit is really just what
Naruto, his once-most-bitter-rival-turned-best-friend, keeps telling him to try to be, so
maybe it is already getting through. A bit). It is in their next meeting, inside the chemistry
laboratory of Konoha Science High School, that she proves otherwise.
She is different, too. Still as undernourished as alwaysbut she does not look
all-bones now, and her color has developed a nice, healthy feel to it. Sort of. She is
smiling to everyone, and most that went to school with them in the past do not even seem
to remember her, except maybe for the pineapple-headed Nara Shikamaru, who had
always been aware that she is just as smart as heand his girlfriend, the blonde, vain
Yamanaka Ino (who used to have a crush on Sasuke himself, but that was way back then,
as she likes to say every chance she getsalong with trying to canoodle with Shikamaru
every chance she gets as well, of course), who had never been one of the girls who had
been mean to her.
Sakura sits right next to him, opening her neat, yellow notebook at once and
focusing her eyes on the teacher in front of them, who is spouting off chemical
combinations that he already knows, and does not really want to repeat knowing again.
He is surprisednot because she sits next to him, but because she is suddenly
there, as if the two years of absence had never happened. He knows it is none of his
business, just as his familys death is none of hers (just as her familys death is none of
his), and he shouldnt ask, he shouldnt even be slightly curious
Where have you been? he blurts outstill as bluntly as always.
She stops scribbling in her little notebook and turns to stare at him with an
innocent look on her face. Huh?
Nobody brought any flowers there. You should have been there.
Her face softens up, and slowly, a smile forms.
So you remember me now? Its okayI know someones been doing it for me.
That was very kind of you, Sasuke-kun.
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There is a kun to his name now, and it feels weird. He does not like it.
You are very annoying, he states, glaring at her as he does so. Her smile only
brightens, and once again, as it always does, it brings out the sparkle in her eyes.
And youre still so stoic and cold. Nothing has changed, eh?
Silence.
Ive been with my new adoptive family, you know, she says softly, looking
back at her notes. Theyre accountants, the Harunos, and theyre really nice. They took
me to another city to start a new life, so I could forget about all the bullying done to me
here. It was a good place.
Silence.
There wasnt a day I didnt think about mamas grave. Or wished that I was the
one bringing the flowers there.
Sasuke inclines his head, a signal that he understands.
Then, there is a pause, and he wonders if he should ask, or just let it all be and
mind his own business (for real this time); because he does not care, he really doesnt,
and it is not like shes going to answer anyway
How did she die?
A pause.
Accident. Car accident. A drunk, careless teenager, who couldnt handle the
liquor and the road.
Another pause.
His name is Uchiha Itachi.
He is shocked into silence by this, and his hands clench on top of his lap in
anger, to keep it at bay and to stop himself from hitting her because she is lying, she is
lying, his brother is not like that, his brother is the best brother in the world
Except he knows that is not always true.
So maybe thats why her little square marble is in that graveyardthe graveyard
that belongs to rich people, people like his parents; and it always does make him wonder
(though he will never, ever admit it) how a grubby girl like her can afford to bury her
loved one there.
Or go to an expensive middle school, for that matter.
She stops scribbling and tilts her head in his direction.
How did your parents die, Sasuke-kun?
A pause.
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Its none of your business, leave me alone, its none of your business, its none
of your
Car accident. My brother was driving.
He is fifteen years old, and it is the first time he gets to say it out loud to anyone.
She seems sad by this, but she doesnt say anythingshe only inclines her head, an
indication that she is sorry and that she does not blame anyone.
And to his surprise, it eases a bit of his own pain away.
v. Orange grins and meant-to-bes
He is sixteen years old when they become lab partners for the whole semester,
and Naruto deems him the luckiest man on earth.
He ignores this, of coursejust as he ignores the blonds constant yakking, and
constant babbling, and constant begging (because seriously, the begging is the most
embarrassing of them all) for Sasuke to be their so-called bridge until they fall crazy in
love and marry off into the sunset.
Please, Sasuke-bastard, just one date! Tell her Im taking her out to the best
restaurant in town and wooing her into a night of oblivion!
The best restaurant being the blonds favorite ramen place, of courseand
oblivion, most likely, because a night with Uzumaki Naruto is best spent that way, unless
you want to become deaf from all the talking.
He does not tell all this to Sakura, of course. Only the basic partsmostly
because he knows if he doesnt, his annoying best friend will just pester him until he ends
up killing said best friend in exasperation.
He does not expect her answer.
No.
Hn?
She smiles at his bored response and focuses her attention on the colorful liquids
in front of them. The manual is open, and so are a lot of her notes and lectures.
I said no, Sasuke-kun. Its dangerous.
To date Naruto?
No. Im absolutely fine with that. But you being the bridgeno.
He does not want to ask why, of course. But she is Sakura, and somehow he
always ends up asking, anyway.
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Why not?
She smiles againonly it is more mischievous this time, almost teasing.
You might end up falling in love with meand we dont exactly want that
happening.
A pause. Then
Hn. Ridiculous. Why would I fall in love with you?
Bridges always end up doing that, you know.
Where did you get that?
Movies, of course.
Theyre nonsense.
Theyre magical. Like dreams, you know.
And probably like her dream painting, though she does not mention that now
she has already been mentioning it a million times a day, and he likes to think she is
finally letting such whimsical nonsense (the biggest of them all) get out of her head. For
now. For such a smart know-it-all, she is always too fanciful about too many things.
Dreams are for stupid people. So are unrealistic movies. Tch. Its all clich.
You should be smart enough to know that.
It will happen. So its best to avoid the situation altogether.
Silence.
Im not going to fall in love with you, Sakura. Thats nonsense.
Good. Dont. I like being your friend, Sasuke-kunand youve got enough
fangirls as it is, and they are even more annoying. Friendship is enough, and its safe. Ive
always liked being safe.
Youre annoying.
And youre just speechless, as always when you say that line to me. Its so used
up, you know. And come on, Sasuke-kun, no more talk about things like lovewe have
more important things to do.
How she manages to turn it around, he doesnt know (and yes, yes, it does annoy
him, though he is used to it by now). But how she manages to read medical books and
Harry Potter at the same time, he doesnt know eitherand he thinks it best not to give
himself the headache of trying. Like Naruto, she is hard to understand. But she is her
friend, and so is he.
Maybe the two annoying people in his life have a future after all.
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vi. Peach gowns and first dances
He is seventeen years old when she wears a dress for the first time, and the
biggest smile he has ever seen on her face.
Isnt it awesome? Hes taking me to the sweetest spot in town! There will be
lights and a beautiful garden and great food andohmygodtherewillbedancing! Theres a
dance floor there and I dont know how to dance!
The smile immediately vanishes and horror replaces it. In mere seconds, she is
frantically running towards him, her hair practically stuffing itself in his mouth, as she
reaches out and half-brutally yanks his arms around her waist and whirls them around and
around until they are both near-dizzy with it.
With an annoyed sigh, he stops them both into stillness, and glares.
Idiot. Thats not dancing. Youre gonna make a fool of yourself.
She glares back and opens her mouth to protest, but before she can, he is already
leading her to a slow rhythm, willing her to follow the silent music in his head.
And never lead. Thats just not the right thing to do. Let him lead. Hes a wimp
if he doesnt.
They dance in her living room; her glare is gone, and she is back to her cheerful
self.
Well, I dont think hes a wimp at all, but this is a big help altogether because
Ive honestly never danced in my entire life. At least now I wont look like a total klutz
when we do get a chance to have that dance, and it will all be so romantic just like in
those adorable movies, andoh. By the way, what are you doing here, Sasuke-kun? In
my house, I mean?
Not my choice.
Huh?
Your ex asked me to check up on you before the date. Hes fretting like a little
girlwhich he is.
Hey! You are so mean to Naruto. Leave him alone! And by the way? He is not
my ex. All we ever had were friendly dates, and his infatuation is now directed to
someone else. Where is he now, anyway? Arent fretting people supposed to be the ones
around here, instead of you? You hardly look like you care.
Where do you think he is?
A pause.
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Oh, right, Sakura intones, grinning now. Hinata. Out on a date again, eh? Go,
Naruto! Isnt it awesome? Theyre such a cute couple and I bet theyd have cute babies
together andouch! Sasuke-kun, did you just pinch my elbow?
A grunt.
Just shut your mouth and concentrate on dancing. Seriously.
She rolls her eyes, but obeys him and lets him lead her. She even hums along to
the silent music still in his head, imagining it is as boring as he is, and not at all the
romantic and hip kind she has been envisioning all along. The slow rhythm relaxes her,
and she closes her eyes and almost leans her head on his shoulderthen she snaps back,
as if realizing what she is about to do, and stumbles on her own foot in the process. She
clutches at him to keep from falling, and still ends up with her head on his shoulder.
What was that all about, Sakura?
UmI remembered you hated too much human contact so I backed away?
Which Im still doing now, it turns out. The human contact, I mean. Which you hate,
because youre an antisocial freak.
A pause.
And youre weird.
Whatever, Sasuke.
If this was the real date, youre doomed.
Her head comes up, and it takes him a moment to realize that her eyes are just
inches away from him, and looking all puppy-eyed and nervous.
Really? she asks softly, almost hopelessly. Because it is a bit pathetic, he only
holds her closer and continues the dance. She does not protest, and they go on like this
for maybe seconds minutes, maybe. He notices she is warm, and is breathing evenly
now, and is so comfortable with him that she tightens her hold and so does he, until he
can practically feel the soft material of her dress through his shirt, tingles and warning
bells suddenly running all over his head. In huge, huge circles.
Sasuke-kun?
Her voice is breathless, and wonderful.
Hn.
This is nice. Youre really good.
Hn.
She tightens her hold even more, and it makes him realize that he is doing it too.
In facthe is doing it first, and she is only following his lead.
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And she feels so soft around himalmost like rose petals, with the scent of
subtle flowers in spring.
The first thought in his mind is: Shit. The second is: Clich, Clich, Clich. And
the third arent even wordsthey are just thoughts of her mouth, and how it is now
breathing warmly on the crook of his neck, and his fingers are itching, and his own mouth
is wanting to
The doorbell rings, and the circles in his head stop. She quietly disentangles, and
he sees that her cheeks are flushed, and her eyes are glowing, and the smile is back, more
real than ever. This is for her date, of courseshe is getting too excited for her own
good.
I have to go. Thanks, Sasuke-kun.
Her dress is peach, and it flows on her body in a quiet, graceful way.
Your dress clashes with your hair.
Only gay people say that, you know.
Tch. Whatever.
I bet you are. Bye!
As she flees out, it shocks him how he actually wants to follow, so he can pull
her back in, trap her body between his and the door, and prove to her that no, he isntin
the most daring, sensual way possible.
But it shocks him more that tonight, this very night, is the first time he realizes
that she is, in fact, not ugly. She is weird, and moody, and so annoying andlovely. It is
a deadly combination, and a dangerous thing.
And so is the desire that is suddenly running low in his stomach.
vi. Blue shirts and comfort words
He is eighteen years old when she cries again, but this time, it is not because of
her dead mother. And it is not because of him.
It is midnight, and he is almost not surprised to see Sakura standing outside his
doorstep, shivering in the wind and hugging herself to ease away some of the cold. She is
always there, as a habit (a habit that Naruto has taught her), whether it is to just ask him a
question, study together, find someone to talk to (though she always does the talking), or
find something to eat.
But it is the first time she comes there with tears streaking down her eyes, and
misery written all over her face.
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Im sorry, I know its late, and I know you dont like me barging inits
justits over. Gaara and I are over.
He knows theyve been together for a long time, Gaara and her. It is an intense
relationship, one that he tries to tell himself he is not affected by, because seriouslyhe
isnt. Its just that he is her friend, as is Naruto, and if there is one thing the two of them
ever agreed on in their entire life of disagreements and conflicts, it is to protect her, no
matter what. In the last few years, everyone is happy with this arrangement.
(He is lying to himself, of course, but it works out best for him that way.)
But now, he can see that the happiness is somewhat gone. Her voice is soft and
sad.
He does the only thing he can think of.
Come in, he says gruffly.
She stops talking, her face crumbling at his bluntness and the familiarity of it.
She doesnt even think anymoreit is instinct, it is comfort, as she steps forward and
falls into his arms, her tiny arms going around him as she trembles very quietly.
He doesnt ask why. Instead, he picks her up and grumbles a bit as he does (she
is heavy, now that she is eating more and living a good life), taking her up the stairs as
slowly as he can until they reach the guestroom that Naruto always crashes into when he
is drunkhence the orange shirts that are lying around, which Sasuke never bothers to
pick up (because the idiot blond is there most of the time anyway, and he always makes a
mess).
He places her on the bed and loosens his hold, intent on getting her a cold drink
and a soft blanket to warm her upbut she doesnt let him. Instead, she tightens her hold
around him, her hands fisting on his favorite blue shirt.
Sasuke-kun, she whispers, burying her face in his neckit is just like in the
dance, that one dance they had, where she is seeking his help to ready herself for another.
Before, it was a simple datenow, it is heartbreak. Im not good enough. I knew it. He
knew it, too. He cheated on me.
She is now crying silently, and it stirs something inside him. Then, she is
trembling even more, and she is tightening her hold even more, and he knows that in this
moment, it is he that she needs. Not Gaara. Not even Naruto. He, Sasuke, is the only one
who understands her pain, because even if it is not the pain of death, as it was before, it is
still the kind one feels when left behind, with no one to pick up the pieces.
There is only silence, as he lets her soak his shirt, lets her break out the storm. It
takes a long time, but eventually, the storm does stop, as do her shudders.
When it does, he finally speaks.
Youre a moron.
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She freezes in his armsthen, after a few shocked seconds, tries to pull away.
She looks up at him, hurt and defiance shining in her green eyes.
He only looks back, his own gaze steady and irritated.
Youre a moron for believing hes good enough for you, he finishes, firmly.
The irritation in his eyes disappear when he sees his words finally register and
her eyes soften, and her mouth slowly forms a small, tenderreluctantsmile.
Youre such a softie.
Hn, he grumbles in protest.
Youare, she says, yawning as she does so. For a moment, she only
continues staring at him until her eyes flutter close, and her figure finally slumps, sleep
finally overtaking her.
He lets her sleep in his arms and tells himself it is because he does not like to be
bothered in moving her anymore.
The next day, Gaara is sent to the school clinic with a broken nose, and a
wounded pride that he isnt likely to forget for a long, long time.
vii. White dresses and innocent fantasies
He is nineteen years old when he takes her virginity and the innocence that has
always been in her soul for years now.
It is a long time cominghe knows this, knows it has been building up from
that first shared moment, that first realization of how dangerous her presence can be. He
is denying it, of coursejust like he is denying everything he is feeling towards her,
because he doesnt understand it; and what Sasuke doesnt understand, he doesnt think
about. But her eyes, it seems, are always making him think of dark depths and danger.
And that is what they are now, when he finds her in one of Narutos guestrooms,
on Narutos birthday bash, her eyes dazed and a bit blurred, but determined as she tries to
fend off the man currently trying to tackle her to the floor and have his way with her.
In a split of a second, the man is on the floor, alrightall by himself. And with
Sasukes foot connecting firmly on his neck, choking him near to death. He lets out a
pathetic yelp, but Sasuke ignores that. He only tightens the choke, until he is all but
flailing like a helpless little fish out of the water. From the corner of his senses, he hears
someone yelling at him to stopbut that might just be his imagination.
The fury rolling coldly in his blood, he takes the manstupid boy, reallyby
the scruff of his neck, and places his mouth near the boys ear.
If you do that again, I will kill you.
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Before he can react or sputter some kind of apology (because the fear in the
boys eyes is enough to appease this now-dangerous man than any apology), Sasuke
shoves him out of the door. Violently.
He then shifts his gaze, and that fury turns to Sakura.
She stares at him in surprise, and almost backs away at the venom in his dark
eyes. She then clenches her fists and moves forward.
It wasI dont know who he was. He just came in while I was taking a break
and
You were drinking.
She stops and seems to be trying to register his words.
Imnot drunk.
And because she says this with her mouth all but swollen, her white dress all but
asking him to peel it off, and her eyes all but trapping him into their depths, he doesnt
even stop to think anymore as he silently locks the door behind them.
Good, he says darkly.
Her stare first widens in confusion, then realizationthen, in what can only be
awareness. He knows she is opening her mouth, and trying to speak. But no words come
out anyway, as he continues to stalk forward, backing her efficiently into the nearest
available surface, trapping her body with his. The heat flares, and there is no denying it
nowher soft gasp is proof enough. His hands come up, and touch her skin to feel the
tingleshe knows she can feel it, judging by the quick intake of her sharp breath.
ISasuke-kunwhat are you doing?
It is inevitable now.
Im going to screw you, Sakura. His voice is low, and promising. Primal. The
words are crude, purposely so, and he whispers them on her neck before moving his lips
down to trail hot, feathery breaths. He waits for her to push him away, to run away from
him and get him back to reality and to the fact that he should not be doing this. She is
Sakura, and she is innocent. And he
He has been damaged for a long time now.
But she doesnt push him awayinstead, she only looks at him, with those wide
eyes, her irises darkening into something he can finally understand.
The meeting of lips, his initiation, is an explosion that both of them have not
anticipated.
The taste of her, however brief, is a tremor that instantly has him enraptured as
everything snaps.
As the barriers of his control finally break.
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Without thought he takes, takes everything that she is offering before him. He
doesnt give her time to think, because he himself cant think, and all that is left is the
taking, the lust that is increasing it all.
He wants it swift, basica quick release to finally quell the urge, and finally let
him move on from the desire that has been sinking into his skin (spinning and spinning
out of control) for years now.
She then whispers his name, and presses up even closer against him, her fists
unclenching and one palm smoothing to touch the center of his beating heart.
It freezes for a moment, before beating fasterfaster.
In the span of a single breath, what is supposed to be a quick and carnal
transforms into something achingly slow, achingly erotic.
It would have made him panic, as he is already on the verge of the reaction
anywayit is just like in the movies, those romantic movies that she loves and that he
hates. He knows that if he is in his right mind, he will panic and walk away before it is
too late.
But now, he is only drowning as she pulls him in with every kiss, every touch.
It is a mind-blowing combination of heaven and hell, and it is over too quickly.
He waits it out, until the heat settles into warmth, and she curls up against him, not saying
anything but just being there, a presence that falls asleep in his arms once more.
There is not much Sasuke is afraid of, but what she is making him feel is one of
them.
This is why when Sakura wakes up the next day, she is alone, heartbroken.
And the bed is cold once more.
viii. Indigo nails and damning desires
He is twenty years old when he realizes she is seeping into his skin.
He first discovers this the moment she stops talking to him in schoolthere are
no words, no smiles, not even an acknowledgment whenever their paths cross. Naruto
notices this, and persists to know whywhen Sasuke refuses to tell him, he then comes
to the conclusion that it is Sasukes fault, and so Sasuke needs to go ahead and apologize
and put Sakura-chan out of her misery, you bastard!
But she isnt miserable. She is still smiling, still as cheerful as ever, seeking out
the company of other people now. There is Yamanaka Ino, the popular blonde, who
becomes her project partner in Economics for some weeksthe two are instantly tight as
glue after that. Then, there is Inuzuka Kiba, who nowadays waits for her at her locker
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before first period. They chat, and there is a certain mischievous glint in his eyes that
Sasuke doesnt like. At all.
It is when he finds them more than talking in the lockers one day that he feels
something in his blood simmer into something dangerous, something deadly. Furiously,
he strides closer, and before Kiba can flirt any further, or Sakura can respond at all, she
finds herself being dragged off, with a gaping Kiba staring at them in shock and a glaring
Sasuke warning him not to follow.
He does not, of course. Only Naruto is ever brave enough to cross Sasuke
(Sakura is, too) when he gets into these moods.
The next moment, a protesting Sakura is taken into an empty classroom and the
door is locked. It is so much like the scene in their past but before he can even step
closer, she is already shoving him away, her eyes glittering with fury and rebellion and
utter defiance.
You dont get to do it a second time, she tells him indignantly, before he gets
to speak. She is breathing hard, clenching her fists, and standing as if ready to face down
any battlehe tells himself he should not even think about how her being angry like this
is so hot, and how her being so close is making him feel the things that he wants to forget
about altogether. Dont you dare think you can do this to me one more time! Kiba
It is the name that has his mood snapping, has him backing her up the wall until
she is trapped again, and they are too close for comfort.
Dont say his name, is all he says. She does not listen.
You have no right to tell me
Dont say his name, he repeatsonly this time, his voice comes out in a low
whisper, and he is already leaning closer so that his mouth touches her skin, and he feels
its softness and heat. Without thinking, he is already tracing it with his mouth, and his
fingers are already moving away from the wall and pulling softly at her hair.
Say my name, not his, he commands, his mouth starting to move. She smells
just like before, and tastes just like before, and he is caught up in it once more.
I wont
Say my name.
No.
Say He moves on to kiss her throat, my down to her collarbone, and he
feels the tremble, feels it increase, name.
Sasudont. Idont.
Her voice is trembling, too, but it is not enough.
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My name, he says quietly, lips tracing her own and feeling them quiver. My
name, Sakura.
W-Why are you doing this?
Because he has no answer for that, he does the only thing he can think of, even
when his brain is screaming at him to stop. He takes her mouth in his and kisses her
hungrily, molding their bodies together as he does so. There is an explosion and a loud
roaring in his head, and it is all he can hear as her breath hitches, as her body softens
against him. She is responding, and he is drowning in every minute of it, and he does not
ever want it to end.
Then, the roaring stops, and there is a slice of pain in his cheek as he staggers
backward abruptly. His hand touches the cheek, and there he feels the slap, the ring of it
loud and clear.
He looks at her, and she is staring at him with wide eyes, a mixture of anger and
desire and hurt and so much more in them. Then, she is running away from him, without
a single word.
He knows there is something he needs to tell her, but he does not want to. It is
not enough, and maybe it is better if he just lets it go.
Im sorry. And something more.
He cannot say it.
The last thing he hears is the sound of the door slamming, and the sound of his
beating heart as he realizes the reality that from now on, he and Sakura are going to be
friends no more.
ix. Crystal pendants and muddy goodbyes
He is twenty-one years old when he graduates from college, and officially
inherits his fathers hotel business.
It is a big establishment, he knows that, accompanied by big responsibilities that
would have been handed straight to Itachi, if the guy had been alive. But now there is
only Sasuke, and he is the designated one, whether he likes it or not. Years ago, he would
have done anything to fight his way up to the top of the ladder against his brother, with
all the passion he has, just to make his father finally see that he is just as good as said
brother and to make his mother proud.
Now, it is just business and nothing else.
With the chain of hotels, he inherits a fiancthe daughter of his fathers
corporation partner, the one who is making sure nothing has collapsed, nothing has gone
to waste until Sasuke is determined as capable enough of handling it on his own. His
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fianc is named Lena, and she is elegant and beautiful, a bride-to-be that everyone
believes is perfect for himtheir marriage is already planned, even before the day he is
born.
This is business, too.
Of course, Naruto is not among those who agree that they are perfect for each
otherand Naruto being Naruto, this is immediately pointed out in the loudest way
possible.
I mean, sure, I get that shes one hot gorgeous mama, and youll probably get a
lot of hot, sweaty sex while youre at it Instead of wriggling his eyebrows, like what
Naruto usually does when talking about sex, he just ends up frowning at his own words.
But Sasuke, you bastardWhat about Sakura?"
To that, Sasuke has no comment. There really isnt a point anywaymostly
because he and Sakura have never been anything, as far aseveryone is concerned.
It is a secret well-kept, and even Naruto only has his suspicions.
The night before he leaves town to settle with his new future in the city, he visits
his family once more and finds her there, with flowers in her hands and a silent prayer on
her closed eyes. She notices his presence, as she always doesand it is then that she
opens her eyes, and stands up, and finally, finally faces him.
It is the first time they see each other in this place in two years now. Whether
that is avoidance or something else, it is not named, because names involve explanations,
expectations.
Sasuke-kun.
It is the first time in two years that he hears her say that too. He does not admit
how much he misses it.
She speaks, not looking at him as she does so.
Do you know what a prism is?
It is not what he is expecting at all, which is why he has no immediate answer.
But he doesnt need one, because she continues speaking.
Its cold to the touch, and confusing at firstall those reflections and different
colors tend to distract people a lot, and make them only see the surface.
Silence.
But I went to look past the surface, and you know what, Sasuke-kun?
Silence.
I finally understand.
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It is then that she looks at him, her eyes conveying something he cannot
understand. Slowly, she approaches him and hands him the flowers. Silently, he accepts
them and ignores the way his fingers tingle at the contact of her hands in his. She
probably feels it, too, because there is a minute tremble in her skin before it vanishes off
into nothingness.
The smile, however, is steady on her face.
I heard. Congratulations.
There is no accusation in her voice. There is only gentle acceptance and quiet
relief.
So youre leaving town tomorrow, eh? she asks.
Hn.
Me, too.
He shouldnt ask. He knows he shouldnt ask, he knows its none of his business
now, he knows
Where are you going?
The question is met with silence, before she smiles for the last time, and backs
away.
Im off to find the painting Im destined to live in, Sasuke-kun.
She doesnt say goodbye, because it has already been spoken in their silence. He
doesnt say it, because he knows the finality of such words, and somewhere deep in his
mind, he knows there is no such thing as goodbyes when it comes with her. The moment
she is gone, he takes a look at the flowers in his hand, takes note of the crystal hanging on
the ribbon tied on its stems. It looks expensive, and fragile, and easily broken if not
handled with proper care.
As the realization of what she means sets in, of how she has him tied up with the
crystal (and yes, only Sakura will ever complicate simple explanations with metaphors,
and talk about prisms), he takes a quiet breath, and looks at the place where she had been
standing only minutes ago. He finally understands.
The minutes continue on, and rain falls, muddying the graveyard as it always
does. Clich.
And Sasuke keeps on standing there, eyes closed, insides hollow.
But he does not run after her.
x. Brown chocolates and meeting strangers
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He is twenty-four years old when they encounter each other once more, and to
him it is like meeting a stranger that you cant help but be captivated with.
She is standing in the middle of the chocolate aisle of the Konoha supermarket,
and if it isnt for the brilliance of her hair, he wont have recognized her at allher back
is to him, after all, and he is not the kind of man that pays attention to details that he
wont need in any way.
The moment he sees her, it is instinct that tells him to approach.
Sakura.
She turns around, and there is a very surprised pause. Then, a pleasant smile.
Sasuke-kun.
The moment she says his name, it is instinct that guides him to stay and makes
him listen to her voice all the more.
She chatters. After the initial not-knowing-what-to-say, she chatters as if it is her
duty, her goal. He doesnt catch much of what she is saying because he is too busy
listening to her voice, and actually missing it, but he does understand that she is now a
brilliant doctor and is somewhat contented with her life.
She eventually stops talking when he doesnt respond, because he is still too
busy trying to figure out why she is too thin again, with bags under her eyes and skin a bit
too pale. She understands thisjust as she understands that there is more than concern in
his gaze (however disguised it is), and it is dangerous and beautiful and what she wants
most in the world. But he doesnt know that. All it is going to take is probably one kiss
for her resolve and her composure to break.
But he doesnt know that, too. So the spell is broken even before it begins, as
she backs off in the most invisible way and asks him her question in a steady voice.
Hows your wife?
He does not answer, because there is nothing to answer. His marriage is okay
empty, but okay. Because she seems to understand this, too, she only comes closer, and
places a hand to his cheek. The jolt it brings him is intense and brings so many memories
that he has sealed off long ago.
Just one kiss is going to change everything, he knows.
But there is still so much in between.
There are no more words afterwards, because there is nothing else to say. They
are different people now, and putting back the pieces of something that is already too
broken to begin with is not only hard, but impossible. So with a final smile, and a final
wave, they start to part ways.
But not without him asking one more thing. One important thing.
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Sakura.
He pauses.
Have you found your painting yet?
Her smile turns sad, but it never wavers.
I have. I didnt realize it until it was too late, though. So I lost it.
There are so many unspoken words in her answerSasuke is smart enough to
read the in-betweens, to what isnt being said. It is easy, and it is painful, and it is almost
desperate.
But it isnt final.
He is afraid of what he is feeling for her, but there is something else that he is
afraid of, even more than that.
It is losing her.
xi. Turquoise umbrellas and second chances
He is twenty-five years old when he divorces his wife and makes a stand for
what is in his heart.
It is a long battle, and a hard onethere is so much to divide and fight about,
and it is different on both sides. For him, it is the inheritance and the legacy that his father
has passed on to him, that he has vowed long ago to upholdfor her, it is the love that
she has always wanted from him and never received, but still hoped to someday.
Somehow.
She has lost this battle long ago, and she knows this. Now, she finally accepts it.
He waits for a while, before he calls the one person that he believes should know
the news first. It is inevitable, anyway.
Uzumaki.
Narutos voice, as usual, comes loud and clear.
Sasuke, you bastard! After all these months and you call now? Where the hell
have you been? Ive been trying to contact your stupid butt and it pisses me off that
Im single again.
There is a pause, before his blond best friend comes across againconfused,
this time.
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Oooh-kay. And youre telling me you have no wife as of the momentwhy?
What do I have to do with this? What the hell
Sakura.
It takes only that one word for Naruto to understand and not ask anymore
questionshe doesnt even yell his usual crude remarks when Sasuke hangs up on him,
dials one more number.
It answers on the third ring.
Hello?
Are you in Konoha?
There is no need to say his name, because he knows she knows it is him. There
is an audible pause, and there are millions of doubts and wonders and hesitant hopes in
that single second, before the answer comes.
Yes, Sasuke-kun. I am.
The words are unspoken again, but they understand.
Sakurawait for me. I need to tell you something.
The next answer she gives him sounds sad and happy at the same time.
Yes. Ill wait, Sasuke-kun. Of course Ill wait.
He arrives in town the next day, and just as before, it is instinct that tells him
where she isas where she often is. It is raining again, and the sight of her standing there
among the tombstones, her turquoise umbrella steady and her brilliant, brilliant eyes on
him and more uncertain than they have ever been are enough to make him come closer
and finally, finally utter the words.
Tell me you found the painting, Sakura. Tell me its here now.
It is clich, and he hates clich, but he doesnt care anymore, as he takes her face
in his hands and kisses her like hes never kissed her beforewith warmth, and
gentleness, and love and wonder that she is letting him. That she is responding. The
umbrella falls to the ground as she kisses him backthat, he supposes, is clich as well.
It doesnt matter, not now.
Its here. Its you.
No more words are needed.
xii. Black visions and lost dreams
He is twenty-seven years old when he finds out she is dying.
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She does not come home for two days, and she does not answer his calls.
Normally, this would not have worried him, because he knows her career has a way of
keeping her busythese few years of being with her has taught him that, and he knows
not to press, because this is her passion, just as handling challenging meetings is his.
And he may not admit this, but he loves her too much now that every piece of
time she gives is more than enough, more than precious. They have all the time in the
world to make up for his mistakes.
Because he is called away for a business trip in another city, two days become a
week, and eventually a week becomes two. No calls at all. Even Naruto, the ever-reliable
one (idiotic, sometimes, but still reliable when it comes to these things), seems to be
evading him. The foreboding increases, which is why when the two weeks are about to
stretch on into another one, he calls a halt to everythingmeetings, work, incomeand
comes back to Konoha.
It is Naruto that meets him in their shared apartment, packing her clothes in a
small duffel bag, his blue eyes red-rimmed and his stance tired.
Their gazes meet, and the blond is almost half-surprised to see him there. But he
regains his composure and greets Sasuke with a brightfake, too fakegrin.
Yo, buddy. I didnt expectoofh!
The punch is fast and unexpected.
Sasuke, what the helluuuh.
There is nothing that the blond can do as the other pins him to the wall, nearly
choking him there. There is a coldness in him now that cannot be avoidedeven Naruto
is normal enough to fear that, to understand that.
There are only three words uttered within that whirling cold.
Where is she?
And though the reply is normal (because she is always there), even expected,
Sasuke knows nothing is this time.
Hospital.
There is no hesitation when he arrives thereall he states is her name, and the
chief nurse is already looking at him with semi-concerned eyes, and giving him the room
number of what he remembers is the room that she talks about just last month, when she
was reveling to him how she had helped a woman give birth to a baby boy.
Its beautiful. Hes beautiful. I want one someday, you know.
All he does is kiss her hands, smirk, and say that maybe someday that will be
possible. Theyll see.
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He does not expect to encounter Gaara there, outside the room, back leaning on
the wall and eyes closed. As if sensing his presence, the tanned, red-haired man opens his
eyes, and their gazes lock on each otherone cold and deadly, the other aloof and
contemplating. Subtly, Gaara moves to stand in front of the doora gesture that had the
other stiffening, of course.
What are you doing here?
Gaara remains silent at the question, and it is all Sasuke can do from punching
the guy as well, and barging in the room to see what accident Sakura has gotten herself
into, and to make sure that she is alright, she is safe
Just because we broke up doesnt mean were not friends, Uchiha.
Sasuke glares. You cheated on her.
For a moment, there is a shadow in the eyes of this man that Sasuke had broken
the nose of once (it is something that he will never regret). But it is brief, and it is gone so
quickly, and Sasuke wonders if he is just imagining it.
Gaara speaks, and they are words that he pretends not to affect him, even if they
do.
She cheated on herself too, when she pretended to love me when she really
didnt. I just did both of us a favor. And nowshes happy.
There is silence as they continue measuring each other. It is the redhead who
shifts his gaze, finallyand in turn, the contemplative becomes sad, almost pained.
Gaara speaks, and this time, they are words that Sasuke pretends arent true,
arent relevant, arent real. They are lies, lies, lies.
She has cancer.
But he knows they arent.
Shes sick, Uchiha. She needs you, Gaara says quietlyjust as quietly as he
steps aside, and lets the other pass, and leaves. The gesture is almost enough to make
Sasuke half-afraid of what he will find there. But he opens the door and braces himself.
She is there, of course. Paler than ever, looking so, so peaceful with her eyes
closed, and her breathing normal. Lovely. It almost leads him to believe that she is
perfectly fine, that nothing is wrong with her, that Gaara is lying and kidding, and Naruto
is fooling him and then
And then her eyes open, and he knows there is no lie in the previous words
exchanged.
Her green eyes, for the first time in all he has seen of her, are dull. Almost as if
she is expecting him, expecting this moment, she smilesit is tired, and it is weak, and it
is honest. Most of all, it is so full of love that it overwhelms him, and he almost forgets to
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breathe. His hands unclench, and his anger fades awayall that is left is the sadness now,
and the hope that this is all a bad, bad dream.
But of course, it isnt.
You dont need to protect me, Sakura. Not this way. Fuck the prism metaphor.
Or me being fragile or any of that shit. I can handle this.
I know. Its just thatSasuke-kun, I didnt want you to see me like this.
Her voice comes out in a whisper, soft and vulnerable.
He scoffs. Shut up. Just shut up. Youre lovely. Youre always lovely.
Her eyes soften and the light is back, as brief as it is. It enchants him, as it
always does. As it always will.
Come here, Sasuke-kun.
And because there is nothing else to do, and nothing else to say, he strides
closer, until he is beside the bed and then on it. Until he is wrapping his arms around her,
and she around him, and there is a terrible ache in his chest and a powerful, powerful
tremblingthough who is trembling, he does not know. Its probably him. But she is
sobbing, and there is nothing he can do but helplessly hold her, and clumsily stroke her
hair, and hope that the agony in her voice and her tears will fade away and leave them be.
Most of the time, Uchiha Sasuke is right, because thats just the way things are.
But not this time.
He and Sakura dont have all the time in the world after all.
xiii. Gray skies and colorful gardens
He is twenty-eight years old when he fulfills her wish in his own little way.
They marry in a church in the outskirts of town, a quiet little wedding with only
Naruto as their witness. She is already in a wheelchair, and he knows she is supposed to
be at the hospital right nowbut that doesnt matter, not now. Not now. There is a
certain vulnerability to her that he is almost afraid, thinking that one touch is going to
shatter her bones and render her even more immobile than she already is. But this is
Sakura, and Sakura is always stronger than she looks. This is her request tooto get
away from all of it and to be with her friends one more time.
The meaning behind her request is something that they all ignore, and for a
moment, they pretend that everything is normal, and okay, and lasting.
She wears white, a symbol of purity and innocence and devotion and everything
in between. She is glowing, blushing, quietly rejoicing. And he thinks she is beautiful,
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every minute in that church spent with her, despite the chalky grey under her eyes
covered by make-up, despite the now limp hair artfully tossed together in a simple,
elegant ponytail.
When the ceremony is done, he takes her home, gets both of them dressed in
casual attire (making sure to wrap her in a warm blanket), and drives them to a place that
he has never taken her to before. He tells her to close her eyes, and she does so, and he
guides the wheelchair to a path of stone and grass until they reach the place of their
destination. All the while, their hands are entwined, content on letting it remain that way.
Open your eyes, Sakura.
The look on her face when she does so is something that will be imprinted in his
mind forever.
There is shock, and awe, and so much overwhelming surprise that her eyes
immediately flow with the wetness to express it.
Sasuke-kun. Sasuke-kun, she whispers thickly, joyfully.
Its your painting. Its your dream.
She smiles with so much love in her eyes, in her expression, covering the fatigue
as it does so, even for the briefest of moments. The smile is that of a delighted kid, and it
makes him only love her more.
Its beautiful.
No. Youre beautiful.
With gentle care, he carries her from the wheelchair and takes them in the
middle of the garden he has planted for her. She sits on his lap, and he sits on the grass,
surrounded by flowers of rioting swirls and clashing colors.
They enjoy the view for a while, before she swivels her head back to him, and
her eyes soften again as she takes his face in her hands and kisses him gently, sweetly. He
responds, trying to keep the desperation away from it, trying to hold on to his sanity and
this one final moment.
When they break away from the kiss, she speaks again, this time with the effort
not to slur her weakening words.
You were enough, you know, she murmurs. You were the wish.
I know, he says. But I wanted you to remember this.
I will. Always. I love you.
Hn.
He is Sasuke, and he doesnt say it in words. But she understands, anyway.
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It is probably minutes, or hours, as they stay there, and touch each others hand,
murmuring sweet nothings and enjoying the painting surrounding them and the sun
starting to set in the distance. It is once again romantic, and once again clich, and
everything he is going to treasure. She sings softly, amidst her increasing coughs, and
though her voice is plain, the way she sings it is amazing. Things are serene, and he
closes his eyes and kisses her hair, content in letting her lean there, on him.
Eventually, her voice stops at the chorus of the song, and her head and hands go
limp against him. Her breathing quiets down. He knows what is happening, he already
knows, but he lets the sun set, lets the shadows gather on his eyelids. He lets the echoes
gather in the wind and blanket him.
His eyes remain closed as he tightens his hold around her, savoring the smell,
savoring all that there is to savor.
When numbness becomes no longer an option, he lets the tears come and
surround them both.
xiv. Green eyes and renewed hopes
He is thirty years old when the pain finally dulls.
It takes a long time, but eventually it happens. He thinks it never will, that the
grief wont stopthere are times when it consumes him to the point that he cannot
breathe anymore, cannot want anything other than to die and leave this world, and be
with her. It is selfish, and he has always been selfishbut he knows this is not what she
wants, and he just cant disappoint her.
Naruto marries Hinata a year after Sakura dies. It is, to say the least, a small
happiness in their intertwining lives, even if Sasuke never really cares about that in the
beginning. But the blond is persistent, and Christmas invitation after Christmas invitation
(with other holiday and made-up-holiday invitations in between, and threats of ass-
kicking if the other doesnt show up) is bound to make him see that there is love in that
marriage, and it is the lasting kind. When Hinata gives birth to a beautiful baby boy, it is
a joyous eventhe even smirks, mostly because the baby is so blond, and so bright-eyed,
and so wriggly when carried, that Sasuke knows the little fellow is bound to be a second-
life Naruto someday.
He is your carbon copy.
I know! Isnt he the most handsome man on earth? Second to me, of course!
I just hope he doesnt turn out as idiotic as you.
There are a few shouts coming from the adult blond, but that is expected. After a
while, the said blond finally looks at Sasuke, a contemplating look on his gaze.
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Im glad youre the godfather, you know.
Youre being cheesy.
Naruto grins. Yeah. Whatever. Im just glad youre happier now.
Now youre being gay.
Shut the hell up, Sasu-gay-o. The sun is shining brighter now, so dont rain on
my parade.
What kind of dumb sentence is that?
Naruto beams now, proudly, Its a metaphor. Ive been brainwashed by the
love of our life, you know. His blue eyes soften, as if he is remembering something.
After a while, the blond is back to smiling, and back to attending to the baby,
making cooing, silly noises as he does so. Sasuke watches him, at ease to be in the
background, as he ponders the words beyond the silly, silly phrasing.
It is true.
He is healing, slowly, even though he knows it can never be fully anymore. But
that is enough for him, for now. He does not visit the garden anymorethat is asking for
too much, for now. Maybe someday, he will. He visits the graveyard, thougheveryday,
every other day, twice a weekit is random, and he is content that way.
Sometimes, Uchiha Sasuke still sees her in his dreams. Sometimes, they are dark
dreams. But mostly they are quiet ones now, with her familiar happy face filling them,
green eyes still sparkling and her smile telling him that it is okay to let go now, that it is
okay to move on.
If there is one thing (Uchiha) Sakura has taught him, it is hope.
There are pieces in his life that can never be picked up again, but that is okay.
There are still some pieces left to start anew.
Cry
I t had been a sunny day.
The waves flowed in smooth, calming drifts, its clear reflection capturing the
image of a pink haired girl sleeping under the shadows at the corner of the deck.
Overhead, the skies were filled with light, carefree clouds. Other than the occasional
ripple that would skim the waters surface, the night was tranquil, almost silent.
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The little girl was deep in slumber, her chest heaving periodically as she
breathed in the cool, clean air. Wisps of sleep-dishevelled hair framed her heart-shaped
face, her long eyelashes creating shadows on the edges of her eyelids, rosy lips slightly
parted.
In a sudden jerking movement, her scalp caught against the splinters in the
wood, causing her to rouse painfully.
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There was a soft clatter of footsteps, and her eyelids snapped open, her eyes
wide and green.
Looking up, Sakura caught sight of deep dark eyes staring back at her.
Youll catch a cold.
Lifting up a tiny hand to cover an escaping yawn, she removed it to reveal a
growing smile on her face.
Sasuke-kun.
***
The day had been long, and Sakura was tired.
Determined to go before her employer changed her mind about letting her off
early, Sakura rushed out of the brightly lit stall, shivering as goose bumps formed on her
skin at the sudden drop in temperature. She slid the thin paper door behind her, letting a
puff of cold air exit from her mouth as she turned away from the shop.
The night was darker than she thought it would be.
Staring at the moonless sky, Sakura frowned as she stepped into a puddle, the
muddy water sloshing at her covered feet and soiling her old robes.
Brushing aside strands of petal coloured locks, Sakura fisted her hands in the
soft pink of her kimono and lifted the heavy material up to her ankles, as wary jade eyes
scouted the uneven pavement, careful not to tread on anymore pools of water.
Cheeks flushed, Sakura beamed for successfully hopping over a particularly
large puddle, but her glee suddenly turned into a menacing thought as she glanced at the
lower part of her garment.
Ill get Naruto to wash my kimono!
The secluded route she took led to an intersection and Sakura turned into the
alley; the streetlights that aligned against the walls were dim ahead of her. Sakura felt her
heartbeat drumming softly against her ribcage as she tried to calm and soothe her
nervesletting go of her kimono, she searched for other passerby.
There were none.
As she approached slowly, the lights slowly flickered out and her ears caught a
slight humming of voices. Fear began to envelop her as jade eyes made out a persons
shadow against the faint lighting. Tense, she paused in her footsteps, ready to flee.
A sharp, cutting voice stopped her in her tracks.
Who is it!
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Squinting in the darkness, it was a brief moment after Sakura had recognized a
man as one of the Nobles in the city before she was clubbed from behind. Her head
cracked against the hard brick wall, body pinned by a large, burly man twice her size.
Tch.
This person had a raspy voice, one she faintly remembered hearing over the
radio.
Disoriented with the overwhelming pain, Sakura wondered what kind of illegal
gathering she had chanced upon as she passed out.
Take her away.
***
Sakura woke up to the familiar sound of waves.
She groaned.
Bleary with pain, she breathed in the salty air, wondering why she was by the
port, which was a good distance from the alley where she had been.
The sun was rising slowly in the horizon, bringing colour into the pitch
darkness.
Cherry lips parted, a silent gasp threatening to escape.
Viridian eyes widened at the looming black ship before her, finally realizing that
she was tied up on a little boat with the pirate ship as their destination.
Sakuras captora man with bronze, spiky hair and stocky buildwas swiftly
rowing the boat, his actions showing that he wasnt even close to slowing down; and
Sakura figured she only had a few minutes of escaping what would be a nearly
impossible situation.
Struggling vainly against the thick rope that encased her limbs, Sakura strained
her neck upwards to get a closer view of the ship.
It was upon closer observation that Sakura felt a sharp spike of fear and anger
stab her. This ship was hauntingly familiarblack, black sails on a stormy nighta ship
she held in regard with hatred.
The thought of meeting him, of all people, sent her heart jerking madly.
***
Sakura let out a soft whimper as pain erupted from her side, where she was
thrown harshly to the ground.
The ship looked formidable with the amount of crew on board, with more
making their way up because of the commotion. The ship buzzed with voices as both men
and woman scrutinized her, some scoffing at her silky pink locks.
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Tiny beads of perspiration trailed down her face as she struggled, determined to
escape imprisonment. She knew this ship.
The wait only seemed too short of a time for Sakura when the crude catcalls and
jeers of the crew were cut short by the arrival of a silver haired man.
His tongue darted out, wetting his lower lip, and pointy teeth were revealed as a
cheeky grin formed on his face. Maa. Glancing at the imprisoned girl, he said, This
looks interestingwhos this we have here?
The crew jeered, homing in towards her, when all of a sudden, they stopped, and
the crowd parted as a tall, lean figure entered the deck.
A low voice commanded, Whats going on?
As he gained no response, the man shifted his gaze over to her, and Sakura
found herself staring back into his dark eyes. Eyes she never thought shed see again.
It had been just a fraction wider, but Sakura saw the slight increase of his pupil
before it receded back to normalshe couldnt help but wonder if that palpable emotion
she saw was guilt.
Whatever it was, it did nothing to quell Sakuras anger. Viridian irises turned
near-black with hatred as she glared hard at the dark haired man, hissing, You traitor!
To think that youd join the very people who killed Kakashi-sensei!
A thick veil of silence lapsed as Sasuke stayed stoic at the accusation, but the
other crew members grumbled in anger.
There was a shuffling of feet as Suigetsu reached out to lift her chin, violet eyes
scrutinizing her features. Sakura flinched as calloused fingers skimmed across her
porcelain skin, holding a snarl across her features.
The man, amused with her defiance, turned around to look back at Sasuke
curiously.
You know this pretty lady, Sa
It had happened in a flash. A dark blade was suddenly pressed against the back
of Suigetsus neck, stopping him in mid-sentence. He stood motionlessly, stupefied for a
moment.
Sasukes expression was hostile, his eyes were as if burning.
There was a deathly silence, before Sasuke quietly said, Let go of her.
The mischievous man pulled away promptly, whining, Thats no fun.
In a quick, fluid motion, Sasuke sheathed his black katana as he called Juugo.
The bronze-haired man who captured her came forward from the thinning
crowd, his large build towering over the rest. His eyes were a bright auburn, a deep
contrast with his tanned skin. He spoke quietly, in a very reserved manner.
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Okashira, she witnessed our deal with the Minister and he ordered her to be
silenced.
Trembling with anger, Sakura seized her chance. So youve resorted to
capturing civilians now, Sasuke?
Frost in her eyes, Sakura pressed on, Why dont you just kill me already?
Before her, Suigetsu panicked and looked anxious for a second. ...Hey, hey,
hey, girlie
Disregarding the rosettes outburst entirely, Sasuke turned towards Juugoa
dark scowl settling on his face.
Release her.
***
The room was dark, with a suffocating scent of perfume permeating inside.
Petite hands clenched hard into themselves, her short nails digging painfully into her
skin. Chest tight, a different sort of emotion was overwhelming her, and Sakuras eyes
were suspiciously wet.
Sasuke was already lighting a lamp, the flame ghosting over his face, creating
shadows across his features. Sakura sucked in a deep breath, eyes flitting to his figure,
taking in the changes.
Sasuke, like always, was breathtakingly beautiful. His features were less boyish;
jaw more defined and face more masculine from what she remembered. His eyes were, if
anything, as dark and deep as they always were.
And they were focused on her.
Sakura looked away in disgust at herself. Her anger was failing her.
The light had revealed the presence of another woman, who had spread herself
out on the large bed, head propped up by her elbows. She had vivid red hair, and dark,
wine coloured eyes that eyed Sakura cautiously.
Sakuras voice was small and cold when she finally spoke.
So, thats your new woman, huh?
Not removing his deep gaze from her, a dark look crossed his features.
Karin. Get out.
The woman scrambled off the bed, glaring daggers at Sakura as she exited the
room.
Then, there was silence.
***
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It was a brightly lit room, a rowdy bar filled with the caucous laughter of the
crew. Behind the solid wooden counter, a silver haired man was absently wiping mugs,
humming a silent tune to himself. Placing the mug down, he slipped a hand into his
robes, pulling out a well-worn novel.
Oi, Kakashi! Another shot!
The man wore a mask concealing the lower half of his face, revealing only a
single eye. Kakashi continued with his reading, in deep concentration, not bothering to
look up as he replied nonchalantly, Were out of booze.
You didnt even bother to look!
Kakashi waved a hand dismissively, starting up an angry stream of remarks,
which were soon curbed when a pink haired teenager slammed a mug down the bar and
changed into shouts of relief.
Sakura-chan, youre here!
Kakashi flipped a page, humming his tune yet again. Sakura sighed, shaking her
head at the unrepentant man. A smile graced her lips.
Who even bothered to put Kakashi-sensei on shift, I wonder.
A lone, dark eye looked up, searching around the green eyed girl as she grabbed
a barstool.
Why, if it isnt Sakura.
Not finding what he was looking forthe presence of a dark haired man that
usually hovered around her, he asked curiously, Wheres Sasuke?
Being unreasonable, she huffed in annoyance, reaching out to catch an empty
mug.
As the man smiled, the edges of his eye crinkled. He chuckled. I see. Hes
sulking because youre here.
And Sakura couldnt help but break the frown on her face.
***
Soft rays of light entered the cabin through a tiny hole, gracing its presence over
a slumbering woman, changing the several shades of her rose tresses into highlights of
pastel pink, and illuminating her pale skin.
Incoherent mumbles filled the small room, barely audible.
givethem back!
Slowly she stirred, her facial features contorting into a shocked, startled
expression, just as green eyes openedswirling with desperate emotion.
Sakura woke up in a jolt.
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She blinked, astonished at having fallen asleep. Stifling a yawn and flexing her
limbs, she spotted dark splotches across her pale skin. Tomorrow, she frowned, her
bruises would show.
***
The room was bare, save for the bed, a closet, and a desk; there were no
sentimental items, no traces that a person lived here.
It was practically just a room.
The table was a rich, mahogany brown, its wooden surface smooth. Placed on
the table was a thin, neat stack of papers, a clean brush, and an ink bottle. Scrutinizing the
neatness of the room, she suspected that its owner was Sasuke.
Sakura skimmed the room, frowning as she read the contents on the papers.
They were targeting merchant ships, whose timetables had been given to them by the
Minister. Angrily, she crushed them in her hand, furiously storming towards the door.
It was unlocked.
In a locked drawer within the closet, a thin stack of worn photographs were tied
up with a rubber band, unseen.
In many of them were two individualsgirl with pink hair, and a dark eyed boy.
***
I hate you! she hissed, jabbing a finger into his chest.
Sasuke remained unresponsive, his gaze unflinching. A muscle jumped in his
jaw, barely visible.
The other crew members stirred, as they watched in half-horrified, half-amazed
expressions. No one had ever done that to their Captain. Karin scowled and an amused
Suigetsu jibed her.
Rosette locks flew about messily, and Sakura found her vision upside down.
Juugo easily hauled the woman over his shoulder. Sakura thrashed about,
flailing her arms wildly.
Bring her to Kiba.
***
The kitchen was well-stocked with fresh supplies. A crate of lemons were
stacked in a corner, next to the bundles of stove wood that were piled neatly. Racks of
clean cutlery and plates decorated the walls; a pot of broth was boiling above the stove,
humming noisily.
A mouth watering fragrance filled the room, and as her stomach let out a low
rumble, Sakura realized that she had been starving.
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Putting down a plate of freshly made onigiri on the table, brown eyes inspected
the petite rosette. The shaggy brunette bent down to the seated woman, placing a tanned
arm over the edges of the wood.
So, whats your story with Sasuke?
Turning sharply to the stranger, Sakura glared. It was a touchy subject.
Kiba pushed the plate gently towards Sakura, offering them to her. Im really
curious... please?
We were raised in the same ship, thats all, Sakura said stiffly as she took one
serving to quell her rebelling stomach.
Viridian eyes darkened as she continued, During our last skirmish, Sasuke
traded loyalties. A crease settled in between her forehead. He joined this shiphes a
traitor.
Really?
Deep in thought, Kiba frowned, rubbing his fingers against his temples. There
were strange, triangular red markings beneath his eyes, Sakura noticed.
I heard that he was against joining this crew. He made an agreement with the
previous Captain. Anyway, Im sure that theres more to it.
Here. Kiba reached for a piece of paper. Look at this.
Sakuras eyes widened. On the thin sheet of paper, neatly handwritten, was a list
of her favourite dishes.
***
It was Sasuke-kuns shift to keep lookout.
Below them, the deck was empty. It was silent, other than the occasional roaring
laughter that had drifted from the bar, travelling in the wind.
Knees bent and feet perched on her chair, Sakura hugged her knees close to
herself, rocking her chair. A tiny blanket was wrapped around her snugly. Humming
quietly, she stared blatantly at the dark haired boy, mesmerized.
The moonlight danced on Sasukes still figure, weaving between his spiky hair,
and tinting the ends into a slight blue. His broad shoulders shifted, and he turned to her,
face sullen.
A brow was raised, and he demanded, What?
Undeterred, Sakura smiled widely at him. Unabashedly, she said, I love you,
Sasuke-kun.
Sasukes hard features softened. He said softly, Aa. I know.
It was later, when Sakura yawned widely that Sasuke frowned at her.
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Go and sleep.
***
The water was lukewarm as Sakura submerged into the bath; she released a soft
sigh, the warm water soothed her tensed muscles. Contented, Sakura let her thoughts drift
away, concentrating on enjoying her bath.
All of a sudden, the wooden door slid open, revealing the same redhead from
before. A cool drift of air entered, and Sakura shivered. Alarmed, water splashed out of
the tub as she swerved over to face Karin. A bewildered expression marred her features
as she sat, stunned.
Karin scowled to herself and hastily pulled out a set of folded yukata, placing it
by the white towels. Here, Karin said curtly, wear these.
Sakura mumbled her thanks, and an awkward silence filled the small, enclosed
space. Karin shuffled her feet, but made no indication of leaving.
Sakura asked, feeling self-conscious, Did you need anything else?
Karin looked at Sakura, startled. She frowned. Sasuke had never fallen for any
of her temptations, always keeping a detached expressionand yet she had seen her
captain show more emotion since this girl arrived than her entire voyage on the ship.
She blurted out, Just what is your relationship with Sasuke?
Dumbfounded for a moment, a dark emotion bubbled within Sakura. Sasuke had
not denied her previous accusation. Sasuke chose Karin over herself.
A bitter smile made its way to her face, resignation pulling at her features. And
as she exhaled heavily, a misty cloud of warm air escaped her.
I never meant anything to him.
***
The smooth material of the yukata hugged her figure snugly, stopping short mid
thigh, just like Karins did. It was a soft, pastel blue, complimenting her pale skin. Sakura
clenched and unclenched her fists, looking out through the porthole.
Sasuke caught Sakura sitting on the edge of the bed, deep in thought. Shrugging
her shoulders, she looked away, uncomfortable.
Hey, Sasuke-k She stopped herself mid-syllable. did you join them
...willingly?
Sasuke directed his gaze to his desk, the stack of papers were crushed and
thrown to the floor. He remained silent.
A loud, forced laughter rang out, and Sakura looked down at her feet.
It doesnt matter, anyway.
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Sakura. Sakura could feel the intensity of his stare on her back.
Her voice shifted between different pitches. It rose an octave higher. Y-You
must be tired, so Ill just leave.
Sakura. He sounded tired.
You can have your room back! she added anxiously, already getting up.
Sakura squeaked in surprise as a large, familiar hand snaked around her waist,
twisting her around to face him. The other tilted up her head, and he dipped low towards
her ear.
His eyes bled red, and his voice was stern.
Dont test me.
Releasing her, a tired sigh escaped him. With his back facing her, he moved
over to the opposite side of the bed and sat down, leaning against the wooden frame. His
sword laid next to him, sheathed.
I wont touch you, so go to sleep.
Sakura hesitantly followed, ducking under the covers.
As green irises stared at his broad back in the dark, Sakura fell asleep,
wondering why she felt lonely.
***
It was two weeks later when the watchtower spotted a rowboat approaching the
ship, and the blond man on it was arrested.
He had unruly, sun-kissed hair, and clear cerulean eyes. The whiskered marks
on his face deepened as he grinned happily at Sakura, despite being flanked by two men.
Sakura-chan! he greeted loudly.
Naruto! Sakuras face was incredulous, viridian orbs wide in surprise.
I knew you were alive!
His beam grew larger as the rosette girl attempted to approach him, but promptly
turned into a frown when Sasuke held onto her elbow, restraining her.
Dont touch Sakura-chan, you bastard!
Clearly irritated, the dark haired man halted in his actions and nonchalantly
waved a hand towards the blond, issuing an order.
Kill himwe dont need him.
Aghast, Sakura turned to Sasuke. No!
Dont kill him, Sasuke.
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At his silence, she pleaded, Ill do anything! Please dont kill him, Sasuke-
kun.
Handsome black orbs glinted dangerously, his anger was apparent as he hissed
angrily at the pink haired woman, Why are you sacrificing yourself for him?
H-Hes important to me.
Sasuke scowled darkly, turning to his crew. Lock that boy up.
***
Sakura whispered, Naruto...?
The prison Naruto was locked in was dark and dingy, and Sakura reached out
blindly. Carefully, she lit a lamp, the bright flame creating shadows behind the thick bars.
Inside the cell, Narutos sullen face lighted up.
Kiba let me in, but Im sorry I cant save you. Sakura looked downcast.
Dont worry about it. Ill get you out of here.
A loud whistle sounded just as the door slammed open. It was Kibas warning
signal. Light filtered in, and Sasuke stormed down the stairs. Behind his captain, the
shaggy brunette peeked in, wincing apologetically at Sakura, and hastily escaped from
Sasukes wrath.
He looked sharply at Sakura, eyes burning red.
So this is the type of Prince Charming youre into.
Hurt flashed across her face, and Naruto clenched his fists, banging them against
the metal bars.
Bastard, what are you talking about!
Sasuke knew he had hurt her, but he was feeling bitter. Feeling no satisfaction in
his actions, the red in his eyes receded as he sobered. Sasuke snorted and tossed a set of
keys through the bars.
Whatever, you can go.
After a last look at Sakura, as swiftly as he entered, Sasuke left.
***
The silence reigned; and Naruto faced Sakura, offering a hand.
Lets go.
Sakura stiffened. Her hands stayed at the sides of her body. Concerned, blue
eyes peered at her, searching for injuries.
Sakura-chan?
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She swallowed, her throat dry and her voice heavy. I... cant go.
Taken aback, Naruto pulled at his unruly blond locks, frustrated.
Why? I came to take you back!
Theres someone after my life. She looked down. ...Its safer here.
Cerulean eyes looked dejectedly at her. You really wont come back?
Guilt gnawed at her, and Sakura bit her lip, nodding.
Pale skin and dark eyes flashed across her mind. She shook her head, reciting a
mantra. Im staying because its safer here. Its safer here. Its safer here.
***
Werent you leaving? His voice was cold.
Crimson eyes stared back at her in the dark, the red in his eyes swirling, then
retreating. Sakura stared, mesmerized.
Sasuke was seated on the bed, elbows resting his knees, fingers forming a
platform where he rested his chin on.
Sakura shook her head meekly, closing the door behind her.
Annoying.
Sakura smiled, and took a seat beside him.
***
He left on a full moon.
Blood seeped into the splintered wooden boards of the wrecked ship. The crew
were all fatally injured or dead, and their leader, Kakashi, had fallen.
It was an overwhelming defeat.
Sakura stood behind him, tears streaming down her cheeks.
I love you so much! Please dont go!
Sakura, he started, as a slight breeze flew by, and then he was behind her.
Sakura stiffened, back straight, trembling.
Thank you.
Her world faded to black.
***
The two vessels crashed.
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A loud noise broke out just as the ship rocked over heavily to the side. Another
ship had approached their ship and had started to attack and they had been caught
unaware because of the fog. Everything flew fast, as they heard anchors being let down
the ocean, and long, wooden planks being thrown overboard to the ship. Their enemies
were already racing towards themshouting battle cries.
It was an uproar.
Sasuke scowled heavily, scouting the deck for his crew members. Juugo was in
plain view, towering over many others as he charged at the large hoard of approaching
pirates, taking them down in a large swipe of an axe.
He found Suigetsu, who was effortlessly swinging around the large sword he
carried arounda large grin on his face, thoroughly enjoying himself.
A sharp, swift sound caught his attention. The archers were beginning their
attacks. Turning over, he found one aiming towards Sakura, who was holding onto a bag
of bandages and thread, ushering those injured over to her.
It was spontaneous, reflexive.
His feet were a blur as they shuffled towards her, and Sasuke grabbed her waist,
pulling her away as he leaped away from the subsequent arrows that they had narrowly
avoided.
Stiffening, he pulled Sakura closer, the other hand maintaining a firm hold on
his dark blade.
***
They were surrounded.
Swinging his sword, Sasuke stood in defensively, his hold on Sakura still tight.
He frowned at the mass of approaching enemies, easily deflecting the few who had
attacked.
Holding out his sword, he muttered softly into Sakuras ear.
Hold on to me.
Sakura nodded slightly, pressing herself closer to him.
Attack!
The crowd that had formed around the pair charged, and Sasukes sword danced
with sheer speed.
He swept out his feet, tripping two men and disarmed them easily, before swiftly
slashing out at the side. Jerking his hand backwards, he butted the back of his sword into
another mans stomach, kicking him into another pirate behind him.
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As Sasuke deflected another incoming attack from his right, a blade came
rushing in from the left, attempting to kill Sakura. Twisting his body, Sasuke tried to
dodge the attack, but it was too late.
Sasuke! Sakura screamed, flashing a worried gaze.
Sasuke winced as a sword pierced his side. A large gash formed, and with a
quick glance, Sasuke dismissed the pain. Luckily, the blade did not hit any of his vital
organs.
Easily defeating the thinning crowd, Suigetsu called out to him as he got rid of
the last few, Sasuke!
Growling as Sakura fussed over him, he pushed the rosette to the violet eyed
man, shouting out an order, Protect her. And stay here.
With that, Sasuke left for the battlefield.
***
Rain was pouring in torrents, drenching them all.
Shouts of victory filled the ship, and weaponsguns, daggers, arrowswere
littered everywhere on the deck.
His wet hair stuck onto his face, his spiky hair drooping. He searched
desperately through the raging rain, pressing a hand against his rapidly reddening side.
Not yet, he couldnt fall yet. Sasuke winced, before spotting a cheering Suigetsu. Sakura
stood behind the silver haired man, shoving a worried gaze at Sasuke.
It was instantaneous. Relief flooded his system, and Sasuke collapsed before
her. Blood seeped through his clothes, pooling onto the floor. Together with the rain that
had collected on the surface, it formed a rusty, red puddle.
Sakura was by his side in an instant, her hair clinging wetly to her face. The
puddle splashed, as her knees fell into it, and Sakura screamed in frustration, Youre so
stupid!
She fisted her hands into the collar of his dark robes, pulling herself to his limp
body. Unshed tears pooled in her eyes, and she let out a soft, wrecked sob.
As he passed out, the last words he heard were, You and your stupid, manly
pride
***
Dark eyes opened groggily, focusing on the wooden ceiling. Sasuke felt a damp
pressure against his chest, feeling another heartbeat throbing steadily under his arm.
Looking down, he saw a head of pink.
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As he reached out to rouse the sleeping girl, he felt slim fingers entwined with
his own. Sakuras fingers were smooth and small. They hadnt changed at all. Instead, he
brushed the back of her palm with his thumb, closing his eyes once again.
***
Sakura, a low, deep voice started.
Sakura shot up in disbelief.
...Youre heavy.
She hiccupped as mortification filled her face. S-Sasuke-kun?
Aa.
Sakura sniffed, scrunching her nose. There were tear stains on her face.
I still do, you know... She lowered her face into his chest once again, and in a
muffled voice, continued, Love you.
A minuscule smile tugged at the corner of his lips.
Aa.
Falling I nto History
This is a little clich, dont you think?
No, Sakura murmured. She looked up from her train ticket and passport to
give Ino a wry smile. She placed the ticket between the pages of her passport and then put
it inside her messenger bag. It would be if he came running after me.
Sakuras smile faltered for a moment and Ino thought she would cry.
And we both know he wont do that.
Right Ino said slowly. Hes too damn proud to do that, isnt he?
Sakura laughed slightly, nodding her head in agreement. Her chuckles were
quick to die down at the thought of him.
Is leaving really necessary? Ino asked. She tightened her grip on Sakuras
duffle bag, hoping that maybe if she kept it with her, Sakura wouldnt go. You can just
move out! Take your stuff and crash with me as long as you need to! Please, Sakura
Im not leaving for him, Sakura interrupted, offended.
Ino frowned. But youre still leaving because of him.
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The internship isnt that long, you know. Ill only be gone for a year, she said,
hoping to make the situation seem better. Sakura reached over and took her duffel bag off
of Inos shoulder and slung it on her own. She grunted at the added weight, but pushed
the strain aside. Ill be back, Ino, I promise.
She put on a bright smile for Inos sake and winked jokingly. With presents, of
course!
Please, cant you stay? Sakura, you
Its strange, she said softly, a confused expression crept its way onto her face.
I guess my heart was bound to change.
The blonde pursed her lips and scowled slightly when the last call for Sakuras
train was made.
I have to go, Sakura declared, taking out her passport and ticket once more.
She then took a folded piece of paper out of her pocket and handed it to Ino with a
strained look. Take care of this for me, will you? Youll know what to do with it.
She stepped forward and embraced her best friend tightly, burying her face in
the crook of Inos neck to hide the tears.
Im gonna miss you, Ino told her through small sniffles. And your giant,
stupid forehead!
Sakura stubbornly let go and stepped back. Giving Ino one last smile despite it
being tainted by a tear she had failed to wipe.
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See you, Ino.
***
There was a duffel bag sitting neatly by her favourite boots at the apartment
door. Beside it was a worn-out backpack, that he was sure was back from her high school
days, and the messenger bag she often used as her purse. All of them seemed as though
they were rather full.
What are those for? he asked slowly.
Part of him knew the answer but he didnt even want to think of it.
Sakura came up beside him smelling like sweet lavender. Her hair was still
damp from the shower she just hopped out of, the tips of her hair soaking her red blouse.
With a quiet grunt, she pulled her pink locks back and twisted them into a messy bun,
tying it with the elastic she wore on her wrist. She then shoved a small, dark blue booklet
that he knew was her passport into the back pocket of her jeans.
Im leaving, she announced steadily. She lifted her green gaze to meet his
eyes. I got an offer in Suna at Allurement magazine for their advice column.
Sasuke nodded slowly. Aa.
Sakura gave an unnoticeable shake of her head as she shifted under his cool
gaze.
It seemed as though he didnt care at all.
Give me a reason to stay, she murmured. Please, Sasuke, just give me a
reason not to leave you because we were happy at one point, but now He heard her
sniffle slightly. I dont know what happened, but things are different Youre so distant,
Sasuke. You wont talk to me anymore
A tear fell down her cheek and hit her shirt.
Give me a reason to stay, she repeated weakly. I love you, so Sasuke, please,
just give me something
But he couldnt. They had grown so far apart since they began pursuing their
own careers.
Or at least, he had begun distancing himself from her.
She was always trying to include him with everything she did but he always had
to decline her offers. She was always trying to talk to him and get him to open up to her
but he just wouldnt. At one point, she was everything. She was his best friend. But
something in him changed and he stopped letting her in.
It was as though he fell out of what they used to be.
He remained quiet, refusing to beg.
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She inhaled sharply at his silence but nodded nonetheless, accepting his
wordless answer.
I see, she murmured. I Im leaving then. She gave him a tight smile. I
guess this is goodbye, Sasuke.
He nodded.
Sakura put on her shoes and grabbed her bags. As she passed through the
doorway with him merely staring after her and not doing a single thing, she looked over
her shoulder with a tearful grin and a light shrug.
Ill be alright by myself.
***
Sasuke stared up at the ceiling fan disdainfully. One arm was strewn across the
empty half of the bed and the other was crossed over his forehead. His head was spinning
as it was and the light peaking in through the curtains was not helping his situation. He
lay in his boxers with the blanket barely covering his legs, letting the morning winter
chill brush coolly against his pale skin. He welcomed the bite it brought with a bitter
frown.
She was gone.
He grunted and sat up slightly, leaning on his elbows. He winced as his
hangover worsened and reached to the nightstand where he had abandoned his nth bottle
of beer from the night before to get some sleep. Sasuke brought the now flat drink up to
his lips and chugged down the contents, cringing at the bitter taste.
Maybe he deserved it.
With a sudden sneer, Sasukes eyes narrowed and he bared his teeth as he
growled to no one. Furiously, he whipped the empty bottle against the bedroom wall and
watched it shatter into pieces on the carpeted floor.
He was going to be the one who has to clean that now that she wasnt here to
pick up after him.
Sasuke let out another sound of frustration and threw himself back against the
bed once more, hoping to fall asleep.
He turned over and faced the vacant side of the bed where she used to sleep. He
rolled over further until his face was buried in the pillow that used to be hers.
Instinctively, he inhaled, and fought off an angry cry at her sweet, lavender scent
that still lingered on her pillow.
She was gone.
There was a loud knock on his door and Sasuke pretended not to hear it. After a
few minutes of the mindless banging, knowing exactly who it was, Sasuke pushed
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himself off the bed to answer the door since no one else was going to do it. He pushed
back the pang in his heart as he picked a shirt up off the ground and put it on while
walking to the entrance of his apartment.
He opened the door with a bored face and saw Naruto with a hand raised, ready
to knock once more.
The blond boy immediately frowned at the worn expression on Sasukes face.
Jeez, what happened to you? Naruto asked, walking into the apartment.
Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning!
He proceeded to the kitchen and Sasuke closed the door gently, not wanting any
more loud noises to ruin his morning further. When he made it to the kitchen, Naruto was
already opening up a second package of instant ramen for their breakfast.
Sasuke watched in silence as his best friend put both bowls of soup in the
microwave and waited eagerly for them to finish. He then brought them to the living
room coffee table and turned on the television to watch some Saturday morning cartoons
while eating.
You better freaking remember we have a show coming up, Naruto said as he
kept his eyes glued to the screen. Tomorrow night at the Bone Palace.
Yeah, yeah, Sasuke muttered, stirring around the noodles he had yet to eat.
Naruto regarded Sasuke with a barely concealed frown.
Hey the blond began, trying to smile optimistically. Itll be alright, you
know
Here.
Naruto jumped slightly as Sasuke tossed a black notebook to him, but managed
to catch it. The pages were frayed slightly and there were small scraps sticking out, as if
Sasuke had ripped some sheets out rather messily. The blond opened the book and
flipped through the pages, noticing they were all filled with words and music.
I wrote some songs, Sasuke muttered.
Some songs? Naruto repeated incredulously. Dude, this can make up another
freaking album!
Sasuke rolled his eyes and gave his bowl of untouched soup to Naruto as he
stood up from the couch they were sitting on.
Im gonna take a shower, he announced, walking away.
He made his way to the bathroom and closed the door when he stepped inside.
There was still a stick of eyeliner and a few tubes of mascara and lipstick lying on the
vanity that he had yet to throw away. He scowled at the thought and swept his hand
across the cool ceramic counter, shoving the makeup to the ground.
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The dark-haired boy looked down at his feet where a tube of red lipstick rolled
up against his toe. He glared at the offending object and kicked it away.
He furiously grabbed at the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head before
pushing down his boxers, stepping into the shower and turning it on.
As the near-scalding water dripped down his skin, Sasuke let out a small groan.
He opened his dark eyes, uncaring of the hot water brushing over them, and frowned
slightly when they came upon the caddy that hung off of the shower head, holding
Sakuras stupid, lavender-scented shampoo.
***
They sat side by side with a bowl of popcorn in her lap. In his opinion, there was
too much butter on it, but Sakura liked it that way so he didnt say anything. Much to his
curiosity, she even had a bowl of nachos on the coffee table with some salsa, and a bag of
chocolate chip cookies. All he really wanted was a bit of her popcorn, so it was up to her
to finish the rest.
Are you sure youd eat all of that? he asked with a raised eyebrow.
Sakura looked up at him with a cookie between her teeth. Her eyes narrowed as
she bit into it viciously. When she finally finished chewing and swallowed it, she flashed
Sasuke an angry glare.
Are you calling me fat?
He snorted and reached into her lap to take a few pieces of popcorn and put
them in his mouth. Ignoring her rhetorical question for the sake of evading her short
temper, Sasuke looked back at the movie they were watching with a dull face.
What movie is this? he inquired, propping his legs onto the coffee table.
Closer, she replied as she chewed on something.
He could feel the rotation of her jaw against his chest where she laid her head.
Her body was pressed against him snugly and his arm was draped over her other
shoulder, bent slightly as he unconsciously ran his fingers through her rose-colored hair.
I love this movie, Sakura commented. It gives me that whole wrenched-heart
feeling, whenever I watch it.
Sasuke stared down at her incredulously. What are you, some kind of
masochist?
No. Sakura extended her arm to put the bowl of popcorn on the table before
twisting around to lean against him more comfortably. Its just that, you only get that
feeling when theres love. The look on her boyfriends face told her he had no idea what
she was saying. She giggled to herself quietly because really, since this was Sasuke, she
wasnt too surprised. You only feel it when like, you get to the part in Sweet Home
Alabama, where Melanie is drunk and bitching to Jake, or like, in Gundam Seed
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DESTINYwhich by the way, was epically lamein the episode when Cagalli has to
marry that dude and shes having flashbacks of her moments with Athrun and theres sad
music on, or in one episode when Athrun looks at the ring he gave Cagalli but still leaves
all depressed and all, or like
I get it, Sasuke replied, although he really didnt.
That wasnt a pleasant feeling, so why would anyone enjoy feeling it?
No you dont, she said, reading his mind. Heh, Its okay, Sasuke, you dont
have to pretend you get it, with me. She winked at him and gave him a chaste kiss on the
cheek. I wont tell anyone your little secret.
He snorted again. What secret?
That contrary to popular belief, you actually dont know everything, she
teased, whispering the so-called secret into his ear.
Sasuke stiffened slightly as her lips brushed against the shell of his ear but he
made no show of his nervousness. He simply cleared his throat and put a hand on her
shoulder to push her head away from his own before his hormones took control.
She giggled, taking his silence as agreement and snuggled into his chest.
This is nice, she mumbled lazily.
Sasuke looked down and saw that her eyes were now closed and she wasnt
paying attention to the dramatic movie.
A faint smile pulled at the corners of his lips at her peaceful face and he brushed
her bangs out of her eyes. She wasnt asleep, but she looked so content and he didnt
want anythingnot even something as simple as her hairto ruin that.
He lowered his head slightly and kissed her head, inhaling the sweet smell.
You smell good, he murmured into her hair.
She giggled slightly, his warm breath tickling her and sending shivers down her
spine. Its my shampoo, silly. You like it? Its lavender.
He nodded absently.
Hn.
***
It was around noon so Mangekyou was still empty except for the bartenders
setting the place up for the evening. Ino was among the people behind the bar, but ever
since Sakura left, the blonde girl had been treating him with a frosty indifference. Since
his brother owned the club, Sasuke was allowed there whenever he pleased. He sat on the
edge of the stage, strumming his guitar while singing the lyrics of his current song.
Maybe she knows something I dont. Im so Im so tired of trying
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What are you playing?
He looked up and saw Karin. His brother had hired the redheaded girl to manage
Mangekyou when his eyes began to wear down and he decided to take some time off. It
was no secret that she had a thing for Sasuke, but he made no show of reciprocating her
feelings nor did he lead her on.
It had been three months since Sakura left him and still...
Karin sat down next to him on the stage, near the end of his acoustic guitar.
Sakura had given it to him the previous Christmas, saying it had belonged to her
grandfather when he was younger. He knew it meant a lot to her and that giving it to him
wasnt easy because she could have used it instead.
A song, Sasuke mumbled, no longer singing but still playing the tune.
Obviously. The redhead rolled her eyes at Sasukes answer and turned
slightly, crossing one leg and letting the other dangle off of the stage. Whats it called?
I dont know, he answered a bit louder. She never told me.
She?
Sasuke almost snorted at the brief pang of jealousy he heard in Karins voice.
The girl was foolish if she thought she actually had a chance with him. He wasnt trying
to be arrogant, but he knew that all Karin wanted was a rock star boyfriend that shed get
bored with in a few weeks.
Sakura. My annoying girlfriend Ex-girlfriend. I dont freaking know, he
said curtly. She wrote this stupid song. She wrote the lyrics and the music. It said
Flake at the top of the page, so I guess thats the title.
Oh
I bet she thought she was being so bloody subtle, Sasuke muttered, strumming
harder than he should have. Its pretty sad that she put all her stupid feelings into writing
songs and music shed never even freaking play for anyone. He snorted to himself and
abruptly stopped playing. Ah, but I guess Im being a hypocrite.
I
What the heck do you see in me? he asked, staring into her eyes.
Karins jaw dropped slightly at the blunt question. W-What?
Dont play stupid. Sasuke rolled his eyes and tucked his pick in between the
strings of his guitar. Im not blind, Karin, and it doesnt take a genius to know that you
like me, so tell me, what the heck is it that youre crushing on? What the heck did Sakura
miss that she decided I was so damn terrible she had to leave?
The redhead appeared to be shocked by Sasukes outburst, judging by the
troubled look on her face and furrow in her brow.
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Sasuke
You didnt love her.
Sasuke looked to where Ino was, drying off some glasses with a furious glare.
You were never there, Sasuke, Ino stated, putting the cups down and then
walking towards him. All you ever gave a shit about was your music and your career.
Sakura cared so much about it too that she put her own stuff on hold to help you make
money to pay for all the stuff you wouldnt let daddy put on his credit card. She threw
the rag in her hand at him, missing his head when he side-stepped it. All she cared about
was you but you were never there!
What the heck do you know
More than you! she shot back. A lot more than you! Sakuras my best friend.
Obviously she told me about all of her problems with you.
There were no problems, Sasuke growled. There was nothing.
And thats exactly it! Ino exclaimed. There was nothing! Nothing at all! You
treated everything about the two of you as nothing! She wanted someone who would love
her and cherish her! Shes just... Ino shrugged and stared at him like he was the biggest
idiot in the world. She was tired of waiting.
Inos voice died down and she sighed tiredly.
She was so tired of trying.
***
So out of curiosity, Sasuke, do you think you can make time in your busy
schedule to do something special with your girlfriend?
Sasuke looked past his shoulder to where she was dressing up with her back to
him, a towel still wrapped around her damp body. He couldnt help but stare as she bent
over to reach into the lower drawer where she kept her underwear. She stepped into her
panties, pulling them up and under the towel.
Yeah, I think thats possible, he murmured absent-mindedly, watching her
drop the towel and slip her arms under the straps of her bra.
Thats good, she replied as she took out a nightgown and slipped it on. It was
barely long enough to cover her thighs, but usually she just wore a t-shirt of his to bed.
She turned around and brought the towel to her long hair as she began to dry the pink
locks. I was thinking we could go on a vacation next weekend to well, anywhere,
really.
He frowned slightly. Cant. We have a show.
Okay, then the weekend after that?
Another show.
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Alright Sakura gave him a tight smile as she hung the towel on the
doorknob of the bathroom and began to run her brush through her hair. Well what
about the next weekend?
Sasuke sighed and something pulled at her heart.
Then Sasuke, she drawled, staring at him dryly, when is your next free
weekend, huh?
He shrugged, putting his guitar back on the small stand he had for it. Not for
two months, at the least
I see.
Sakura pulled at the covers on her side of the bed and lifted them so she could
slip in. She laid her head down on the pillow and grimaced at the wet feeling her damp
hair caused. Sasuke immediately followed suit, taking off his shirt and lying down next to
her. He turned off the lamp on the night stand and stared at the dark ceiling.
Remember when we were watching Closer? she whispered. I think that was
a little after I moved in with you, actually
He nodded but did not open his mouth to reply.
I told you I liked that feeling Sakura continued. The one where your heart
hurts so much and your chest aches and you almost want to crylike when youre losing
someone or youve already lost them but it only hurts because theres love?
A frown pulled at his lips but it was too dark for her to notice even if she was
looking at him.
Am I losing you, Sasuke? she asked, turning on her side.
They couldnt see each other in the dark but he knew she was staring at him.
Sasuke narrowed his eyes at the question, furious that she could even think of
such a thing. He wrapped his hand around the arm she folded between them and pulled
her to his body. She leaned her forehead against his chest and he placed his chin upon
her head.
Because this relationship really feels like its dwindling
Its not.
Are you sure?
He could hear the hitch in her voice and knew she was trying not to cry.
I am, he said, loudly and confidently. Im sure. Were fine.
She nodded.
Ill hold you to that.
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***
Sasuke cleaned out what was once their apartment with glassy eyes and a bitter
scowl.
Half a year had passed since she left and the sight of her stupid shoes, or the
scent of her perfumes, or the sight of her clothes was driving him insane. They had a
walk-in closet in their room but he let her use all of its space, preferring the drawers
instead.
He found so many outfits she had never worn and a particular outfit she had
worn that seemed to be fazing him.
It was a red, satin baby doll that she had worn on the night that they did
eventually take their short vacation together over the weekend.
With a huff, he flung the offending piece of clothing across the large closet and
stood up, not wanting to stay in there anymore. They were just clothes and shoes and
purses but they were still hers and it still hurt to be reminded of her.
Sasuke stepped out and slammed the door behind him before sitting on the edge
of the bed.
He had never bothered to clean the apartment of the things that belonged to her.
Everything just seemed so in place, whether they were his or hers or theirs. He had left
the photos on the shelves, her jewellery box on the bedroom vanity, her toothbrush in the
holder it shared with his own.
Sakura was gone and he was finally realizing how much she meant to him.
Life was gonna be hell, he mused with regret, which was why he couldnt bear
to change anything in theirhis apartment.
He pushed himself off the bed and went to the shelf by the vanity, bending down
to take out the scrapbooks she had put there. He found most of them empty as he flipped
through the pages, but there was a medium-sized shoebox next to them that he knew was
full of photographs. He then sat down in front of the shelf and removed the lid.
There were multiple, tiny stacks held together by rubber bands. Many more
though, were tossed carelessly into the box.
He pulled out a pile and began looking over them nostalgically.
He snorted at the photos of the two of them celebrating Sakuras twenty-fourth
birthday the previous year at Itachis club. Sakura had been wearing a shiny, plastic
crown that Naruto had picked up for her at the dollar store. She had worn the thing the
whole day, even when they came back to Mangekyou in the evening for her night out.
In one picture, she had a bright smile on her face as she hugged his arm, the two
of them looking at the camera.
Sasuke flipped to another photograph and felt a hollow pang in his chest.
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It had been taken at the wedding of Sakuras uncle and coincidentally Sasukes
former guitar teacher, Kakashi Hatake. She wore a champagne-coloured cocktail dress
and her long hair was pulled back into an elegant but casual bun. In her hands were the
flowers that Kakashis bride had thrown. She had a look of embarrassment on her face as
she looked into the camera with a small gape, and Sasuke who stood beside her was
blushing ever so slightly.
The next photo he took out was from a vacation they took together.
Sakura was the only one in the picture. She was sitting on the couch of the cabin
they rented in the Snow Country in a tank top and her bath robe. She was holding a mug
of coffee while looking over her shoulder with an amused grin as the picture was taken,
obviously by him.
Sasuke let out a pained grunt that he didnt know he was holding in and closed
his eyes with difficulty, afraid of what he might see.
He took a ragged breath and let go of the print in his hand.
He put the photos back into the box and closed it.
***
They had gone to the Snow Country and rented a cabin for themselves for the
weekend. Sasuke had always enjoyed snowboarding, and Sakura, skiing, so they had no
plans of staying cooped up in the wooden lodge for the whole trip.
All of Saturday was spent on the slopes but towards the evening, there was a
raging storm that kept them stuck in their cabin.
I think you broke the heater, Sakura said with an amused grin, donning only a
short red baby doll and her panties. It was too hot in their little cottage to wear actual
clothes. At least though, the heater was working too high rather than too low and they
werent coming down with hypothermia.
Sasuke huffed and crossed his arms over his chest as he stepped away from the
heater.
Tch, whatever.
Sakura giggled at his childish attitude and walked over to him, wrapping her
arms around his lower abdomen from behind.
Its okay, she murmured, brushing her lips against his back and causing him
to stiffen under her touch. I think I like it all hot like this. Kind of makes me want to
You better shut up now, Sasuke growled out. She noticed how his head was
bowed slightly and she was sure that if she were in front of him and not behind, she
would see something akin to a predatory gleam in his dark eyes, or I might do
something Ill regret in the morning.
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Why would you regret it? she asked, standing on her toes to touch the shell of
his ear with her lips. She stuck out her tongue and licked him tauntingly. I dont think
Id have a problem with anythingoh, hey, Sasuke!
She giggled loudly as he threw her over his shoulder and started walking to the
bed.
Hey, put me down! Sakura whined. I get motion sickness easily, Sasuke!
He snorted. Thats a lie. We spent the whole day rushing down the hills.
Oh... Sakura gave up and decided to use physical measures instead. She
squirmed in his grip as she repeatedly slapped him on the back. Sasuke! Put me down!
This is making me nervous! I know youre going to drop me
Nice panties.
Youre such a pervert!
Hn.
Ugh, you totally suckow! HEY!
Sakura pouted at him from where he threw her on the bed with her lips pursed
and eyes narrowed. Childishly, she stuck her tongue out at him.
You better put that away, Sakura, he warned huskily, kneeling over the bed.
Or what, Sa-su-ke? she challenged, struggling to sound confident but failing.
He then pounced on her, grabbing her wrists in each hand and holding them to
the sides of her head as he slanted his mouth across her own. He kissed her hotly and
pressed his tongue against her lips, parting them without bothering to ask for entrance.
Her legs wrapped themselves around his hips and she pulled him closer.
I love you, she declared between breathy moans as his hands roved over her
nearly naked body.
She lifted her head to press her lips on his and kissed him over and over as she
repeated her words.
I love you.
***
Eight months had passed since Sakura disappeared from his life. As the cool
spring breeze drifted past him, he sipped on his coffee and continued walking down the
street. He downed the rest of the warm liquid and threw the Styrofoam cup into the
nearest trashcan. With a small yawn, he adjusted the guitar strapped to his back as he
stepped into a corner store.
Give me a pack of Marlboros, Sasuke said to the man behind the counter. As
the old man turned around to get his order, Sasukes eyes drifted to the magazine rack
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beside the cash register and the bright letters that spelled Allurement. He stared at the
magazine for a moment before taking one and adding it to his pack of cigarettes. Oh,
and this, too.
The man nodded and punched in the price.
After paying, Sasuke walked out of the store with a cigarette dangling between
his lips and the magazine rolled up in his hand. He walked silently to the city park with
his earphones in place and his iPod playing, almost anticipating reading what Sakura left
him for.
Sasuke sat down on a bench after leaning his guitar against it. He unrolled the
magazine and began flipping through the pages as he lit a second cigarette.
He was about to deem it pointless until he saw her name.
He carefully read through the page and noted that Sakura had apparently been
given an advice column.
A small smile almost made its way to his face, because he really felt Sakura
deserved it. She deserved a nice job, especially one that suited her.
Dear Sakura,
My boyfriend and I are having a bit of trouble right now. Its almost like
the past amazing five years between us never took place! He doesnt talk to me
anymore and barely spends time with me. What happened? Did he just lose
interest? Is he cheating on me? Im just so confused. What should I do?
Confused,
Mai
The irony caused him to snort.
Dear Mai
I should probably tell you not to worry because your situation isnt
uncommon. Even I went through it. My best advice is to take a break from your
relationship and just use the time to find yourself. Obviously the two of you
changed into different people over the course of your relationship and youre no
longer the same. Thats okay, though. As long as the two of you still love each
other, Mai, theres still hope.
Sincerely,
Sakura
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Ah, swaying the other way now that Sakura left, I see?
Sasuke looked up and scowled.
Kakashi, he muttered in greeting. He closed the magazine and put it on the
bench carelessly. What do you want?
Oh, just visiting my favourite student, the older man drawled, taking a seat
beside Sasuke. I heard your career is doing pretty good, and fast. I always knew you had
it.
Sasuke nodded absently, still taking small glimpses at the magazine on his side.
I also heard that your muse decided to leave you, Kakashi added. He smiled at
Sasuke wryly and reached over him to retrieve the abandoned magazine. Sweet girl, she
is, although rather nave. If I had been her, with how much you pushed that girl away, I
wouldve left you much sooner.
He sighed and looked at Kakashi with a bitter frown.
So Im the bad guy, right? he asked sarcastically. Its my entire fault?
Kakashi raised an eyebrow. You thought otherwise?
Sasuke glared at him for a moment before turning away shamefully.
Shes coming back you know Kakashi said slowly, breaking the awkward
silence. He put a hand on Sasukes shoulder and narrowed his visible eye when he
noticed the cigarette in the boys mouth. Kakashi immediately ripped it out and threw it
on the ground, Now, now, I havent seen you doing that since you were nineteen,
Sasuke.
He rolled his dark eyes at the statement and took out another one, shifting a few
seats down on the bench.
Yeah, well, when I started dating Sakura, she wouldnt let me kiss her if I
smoked, Sasuke admitted. He played with the lighter in his hand, wondering if he should
light it or not. She said it made me taste bad and that it was a pain to wash the smell out
of my clothes.
Kakashi smiled faintly. She was really good for you, wasnt she?
Sasuke sighed and tried not to look regretful.
Yeah, she was.
***
Checking one last time, Sasuke confirmed that Sakura was asleep. Carefully, he
pushed the covers off of his body and crept out of their bed. He stood up and went to the
jacket he always wore that Sakura had hung up on the door, reaching into the inside
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pocket to take out his cigarettes. He went over to the balcony and quietly closed the door
behind him, cautious not to wake Sakura.
He didnt smoke that often now that he was with Sakura. The times that he did
smoke, though, were when she definitely would not know.
Dont even think about putting that in your mouth, she had warned him when
they first started dating. As usual, he had ignored her request and smoked the cigarette,
and that night when he moved to kiss her good night she turned away and went home,
saying, Sorry, Sasuke, but you taste nasty when you smoke. I dont want to kiss you.
He quit eversince.
But he was feeling stressed lately.
His parents had been calling him a lot, asking him to come home so he could
start working for them. They owned a chain of five-star restaurants in the Fire Country
and were currently opening some in other cities. They claimed it was time for Sasuke to
stop trying to be a musician and put his business degree to use for them.
His older brother had recently opened up a club that was declared a new hot
spot for celebrities. Since Itachi and Sasuke had always had a close relationship, the
elder allowed his brother and his band to play there a lot and refused to report anything
to their parents.
With a sigh, Sasuke took the delicate stick out of the box and put it to his lips. He
leaned against the railing and took out his lighter.
Dont even try.
Had he been anyone else, he probably would have jumped at the sound of
Sakuras cold voice.
Sasuke turned around and saw her standing in front of the glass sliding doors,
glaring at him and daring him to try smoking the cigarette.
He stared back at her for a minute with the unlit cigarette still dangling between
his lips before shrugging and taking it out. He put it back in the box and struggled to stay
still when she took the pack and threw it over the balcony rather carelessly.
You know, he drawled snidely. Some little kid might find that and decide to
smoke them.
Sakura shrugged. Well, everyone is allowed to experiment a little. He raised
an eyebrow at her and she repeated, A little. She reached for the lighter he held
between his fingers and put it in the pocket of her bathrobe. But they shouldnt get
addicted.
Im not addicted, Sasuke muttered. He grabbed her wrist and pulled her
closer to take back what she put in her pocket. Im just a bit stressed.
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Oh? There was a look of curiosity in her eyes. She suddenly grew nervous as
she looked away from him at the night sky over the balcony. You you know you can
talk to me Sasuke, right?
Sasuke nodded slowly. I do.
Then will you? she asked rather forcefully. I care about you, Sasuke.
Sakura put her hands on his face, cupping his cheeks in her palms while staring into his
dark eyes. Im here for you. I love you.
He nodded once more and leaned his forehead against hers. I know. Slowly,
he lifted his arms wrapped them around her form in a loose embrace.
After a moment, she pulled away and grasped his hand within her own. Lets
go back inside, she murmured with a light smile, pulling him along with her. As she
walked, he made no move to follow. She turned around and frowned slightly. Whats
wrong
Thank you.
Her frown deepened and she tilted her head a little. What do you mean? Is
something wrong
Thank you, Sasuke repeated. You Youre always saving me
It was just a cigarette
From everything. From myself. From
He looked down and she could see a faint blush on his usually pale cheeks.
Thank you.
She paused to think over his words before nodding. A small smile pulled at the
corners of her mouth.
Youre welcome.
***
Sasuke awoke to a faint knock on his door. He had fallen asleep on the couch
once again, something he had been doing for the past year without Sakura.
The near-silent taps against the door came once more and Sasuke stood up to
answer it. He frowned slightly, annoyed by how quiet the knocks were, as if whoever was
there didnt want to be heard by him.
He opened the door and was greeted by the sight of Ino, her blue eyes narrowed
and lips pursed. She did not bother greeting him before she reached into her purse and
took out a folded piece of paper, shoving it into his chest for him to grab.
She asked me to give that to you, Ino explained.
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He raised an eyebrow at her, because really, when was the last time Ino had
spoken to Sakura?
Ino shrugged in response to his unspoken question. I know, she told me to give
it to you a year ago, but hey, I did it didnt I?
Sasuke nodded faintly, pocketing the folded sheet.
Shes
The blonde girl sighed as she squirmed under the harsh scrutiny of his gaze.
Shes coming back, you know, Ino mumbled, as though she didnt want him
to know. She didnt want to write in fashion, anyways. She just wanted a years worth of
experience at a famous magazine because she said itd look good on her resum. The
woman sighed under her breath. Sakura Shes coming home in a few weeks.
His dark eyes suddenly lit up at the news and he was quick to ask, When?
Immediately, Ino narrowed her eyes once more, as if she was suspicious of him.
Two Saturdays from now, Im supposed to pick her up from the Konoha train
station, Ino explained slowly, watching Sasuke for any sort of reaction. She said her
train will be arriving around eight in the evening, and I have work. She cleared her
throat. Do you think you can pick her up, Sasuke?
I have a show, Sasuke said instinctively, because really, he did.
I see. Her rose-painted lips straightened into a line as she gazed at him coolly.
But youll cancel it, right Sasuke?
Oof course, he muttered, cursing himself for stuttering. I will.
Good.
Ino gave him a curt nod before poking her head into the apartment and looking
around. She had a calculating gaze as she scrutinized every inch of the room as if she was
looking for some sort of mistake or change he made.
Everything looks the same, Ino commented dully, pulling back into the hall.
Sasuke shrugged.
I never wanted things to change.
***
Sasuke,
If youre reading this then that means Ino actually listened to me.
I dont know why Im writing this, to be honest. Maybe for closure, right? Ive
always hated loose ends, so it would be hypocritical of me to not at least give you that. I
can only hope that Ino doesnt wait ten months or whatever to give this to you.
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Sasuke, I loved you.
I did.
You mean the world to me and leaving you is almost the hardest thing Ive ever
done, but I did it and now I feel fine. I wanted forever with you. I wanted to be by your
side as you became a star, I wanted to move out of that crummy apartment we have and get
a house, I wanted us to get married and have kids and a dog.
I wanted everything with you.
What happened to us? We used to be so good together, Sasuke, so what happened?
Did you find someone else?
Were you finally just sick of me?
Did you just fall out of loveor were you just never in love with me in the first
place?
You just stopped talking to me entirely. You were so cold, Sasuke, and it hurt. It
was almost like you just stopped caring about me.
Im not stupid, though. I know you didnt stop caring. But you kept pushing me away
and distancing yourself from me. Believe me, I tried to push the insecurities away, but Sasuke,
I dont know, it just wasnt working.
I tried to wait. I tried to tell myself that whatever was wrong with you was just a
phase and that if I gave you time, youd be the man I fell in love with again, but it just
never happened, Sasuke.
Eventually, it became too much and I guess I just wanted out.
I think Im over you now.
I know thats not very believable considering I just told you I loved you and
begged you to give me a reason to stay, but Sasuke, I think waiting for you to love me
back just began to take its toll on me, you know?
You just started to fade from my memories and well, I dont know, fall into
history.
I wish you so much luck with your career and hope you go far. Music is your
passion and I would never ask you to choose me over it.
Maybe when I come back, if you figure out how much I just might mean to you
and theres still something in me for you, we can try again.
All the best, Sasuke.
I guess this is goodbye, huh?
I think Ill miss you, Sasuke. And really, thank you for everything.
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Love,
Sakura
***
Sakura shifted uneasily as the rain began to pour down harder, berating herself
for going outside of the train station. Ino had said shed be there to pick her up and that
shed even arrive half an hour early, but Sakura should have known that a year wasnt
enough to help her friends skillsor the lack thereofin punctuality.
She sighed and dropped her duffel bag onto a bench and removed her messenger
bag, tossing it on top of the larger one.
She shivered slightly as the droplets hit her bare arms and ran down her skin,
tracing a chilly, wet path.
Youre really back
Her eyes widened briefly at the voice and she thought for a moment that she was
still on the train, dreaming.
She looked over her shoulder and her breath hitched at the sight of him. His dark
eyes were rimmed with black, showing the sleep hed been missing out on, and his skin
seemed paler than before. He looked older, as though more than a year had passed for
him.
Sakura, he said, a faint smile showing on his lips.
She didnt know what to do or say. She stood there under the rain, staring at
him, almost hoping he wasnt real.
Sakura, Im sorry, he apologized, heading towards her. She took a step back
and he flinched. Sasuke looked pained for a moment by her silence. He grabbed her
upper arms and held her gently in place. His dark eyes locked with hers and he stared at
her almost pleadingly. Sakura
W-What are you doing here? she murmured, finally speaking to him.
Something in his heart fluttered at the mere sound of her angelic voice.
I need you, he declared, staring into her eyes. Sakura. Please
No.
Her jade eyes glazed over and he no longer saw any warmth in them.
No, Sakura repeated. Were not
Why? he whispered.
I get it now, okay? His voice was harsh and husky. I hurt you and pushed you
away. And maybe you needed to leave because then I wouldnt have fucking realized
He paused, controlling himself; because he just didnt want to acknowledge, didnt want
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her to know, that he was feeling this ache that she was probably talking about. But I get
it nowand I
Sasuke bowed his head, his voice lowered.
I need you, Sakura, he said once more. So please
He then lifted his head and she swallowed harshly at the broken look in his eyes.
Just take me back.
He wrapped his arms around her loosely and pressed his forehead against hers.
She shuddered at the feel of his warm breath brushing against her chilled skin. Both
ignored the rain that continued to fall, dripping along their faces.
Just come home.
***
Why didnt you write to me? Why? It wasnt over for me! I waited for you for
seven years and now its too late!
I wrote you 365 letters. I wrote you everyday for a year.
You wrote to me?
Yes. It wasnt over, it still isnt over!
And as The Notebook played and Noah kissed Allie, Sakura couldnt help but
squeal happily and squeeze Sasukes arm even tighter. The two of them were on the
couch watching movies together, once again, and that night just so happened to be
Sakuras pick.
I love this movie, Sakura gushed, pressing her cheek against his shoulder as
she leaned on him. Its just too sweet!
Sasuke let out a quiet snort and ate some more popcorn.
Definitely, he muttered. Way too sweet.
She looked up at him with a glare but the mood of the movie eventually got to
her and she kissed him on the cheek.
But seriously, Sakura said, poking at his arm. You totally have to agree that
this movie is just a classic for a romantic like me.
Sakura watched as the couple on screen kissed one another against the wall. It
seemed so hot and romantic but still tragic and frantic all at the same time as they
pressed their mouths against each others and pulled desperately at each others clothing.
She smirked up at Sasuke and patted him lightly on the cheek.
Hm, Im getting kinda hot for you, Sasuke.
He rolled his eyes and shoved her away from him.
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Sakura laughed loudly at her boyfriends reaction and then laid her head
against the arm at the other end of the couch. She propped her legs onto his lap and
grabbed the couch pillow to hug as she continued to watch the movie.
Sasuke sighed and slouched, sliding down the couch slightly.
Aw, does Sasucakes not like the movie? she teased, knowing the answer quite
well.
He grunted.
At his lack of response, a small smile pulled at her lips. Ah, Sasuke she
murmured, sounding rather serious. Thanks for watching with me. I know you dont
want to.
I never said that, he muttered.
Yeah, but you really dont need to, she replied. Sakura dropped the pillow she
was cuddling on the floor and sat up to go back to her original position. She pecked him
lightly on the cheek. But really, youre such a sweetheart.
Whatever.
The rainy scene concluded and Sasuke visibly frowned.
Isnt that a bit clich?
Sakura looked at him, eyes wide at him suddenly making a comment on the
movie. What?
This, he said, gesturing to the television where the movie was playing. A
reunion in the rain? This is a little clich, dont you think?
She smiled and shrugged.
Clichs always work.
***
A reunion in the rain with you asking me to come back, Sakura whispered to
herself observantly, looking up at the dark sky, letting the rain hit her face. All you need
to do now is kiss me
Sakura looked at Sasuke, feeling oddly whole with his arms around her. She
ignored the rain that was growing stronger and now drenching her hair and dripping
down her face. The water was probably seeping into her bags.
This is a little clich, dont you think?
Her voice was almost a whisper and barely audible above the loud splashes of
the rain.
She chuckled weakly and placed a hand on his damp head, pulling lightly on his
hair.
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Clichs always work, he murmured.
Slowly, Sasuke let go. He pressed his forehead against hers and closed his eyes.
He brought a hand up and tangled it into her pink locks, pulling her head back and
slanting his lips over hers.
As she fell into his kiss, she allowed herself to let go of the past.
She wasnt lying when she said shed be alright by herself.
I love you.
But still, she loves himand so does heand she would choose them, over and
over again, above anything in the world.
J e Ne Sais Quoi
Thursday, 12:57 P.M. Sometimes she wondered if she could just delete mental
images. Sometimes she wished she had the power to segregate her thoughts, so she could
choose which memories to remember and which memories to forget. The cafeteria beside
the Architecture building. The scent of earth after it rained. The intricate stone statues
outside the university library. Machiavellis political ideas. Tattered and wet medicine
books. A sullen boy approaching her in the locker room. Hanging out under their tree
between class assignments. The bitter taste of coffee in her mouth.
***
It was on that rainy day at the school cafeteria when she found something that
she wasnt looking for He entered, deposited his soggy umbrella inside the umbrella
rack, made his way to the table adjacent to hers, and ordered a cup of coffee.
She didnt mean to stare at himno, ogling at strangers wasnt really her
hobbybut something about the mans demeanor, the way he sat and the calculated
manner in which he stirred his coffee, made the curiosity get the better of her.
There wasnt anything special about him, really, except that he was good-
looking and mysteriousblack hair, black eyes, black shirt, heck, even his book was
blackbut what caught her attention the most was how he carried himself. She observed
the way he sat on his chair, elegant and straight and aristocraticalmost princely; she
caught the crisp sounds that he made as he deftly turned the pages of his book; she was
amused with the disinterested expression of his eyes and the calculated but graceful
movements of his arm.
It was frustrating to watch him drink his coffee for he did it without any trace of
emotion, no sign of satisfaction, no knitting of eyebrows, nothing. He seemed to enjoy
stirring his coffee and he would wait until the bitter concoction stopped swirling inside
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his cup (that was, according to her own assumptions), before hed take another sip and go
back to stirring it again.
Eventually, Sakura got bored and shifted her attention back to the thick Biology
book on the table.
Pseudostratified ciliated columnar
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Transitional epithelium
Calvaria
She sighed. Therere days that were just not meant for studying.
It had been raining for hours already and the dark nimbus clouds outside meant
that the rain would not be stopping any minute. Fortunately, it waned a little; its the
perfect time to go home.
(It might get worse again and she was not the kind of person who relished the
feel of raindrops against her skin.)
She forced herself to finish her raspberry danish in one bite, downing it with a
swift swig from her glass of pineapple juice. She collected her books, threw them inside
her backpack, and stood up to get her umbrella from the rack beside the entrance. Little
did she know that that moment would change her life, her dreams, her goals, the way she
viewed coffee cups and umbrellas, her hatred towards rain, her everything.
Thats mine.
It was the guy she was observing earlier.
She didnt respond for a matter of seconds and just gawked at him stupidly, and
then at the umbrella in her hands.
Realization was slow and embarrassing.
It was not hers, the handle just looked similar to the one she owned.
Uh of course, its yours.
Forced, sheepish laughter.
In response, he took the umbrella from her hands, and left without another word.
***
Life had a funny way of giving Sakura the exact opposite of what she wanted,
like putting her in situations shed rather not be in.
Which explained why she found herself face-to-face with the man from the
cafeteria for the second time in two days.
She was tired and groggy after finishing a practical exam at the laboratory, and
to make things worse, it was raining again. She stayed under a shed, stranded along with
other commuters, still wearing her pure white uniform and waiting for the downpour to
subside.
She was simply looking for someone who could share an umbrella with her,
seeing that the one she had got destroyed when a sudden gust of wind blew against it.
And it just happened that the only person she knew (if staring and having a slight
misunderstanding with made someone an acquaintance) was him.
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Perfect.
He was standing there, just a few feet away from the shed, holding the midnight
blue umbrella she recognized. She decided to put aside her pride and act like they really
knew each other.
Hey!
His head didnt turn towards her direction, but she knew that he was already
conscious of her presence.
What?
She mimicked his accent. Its raining.
Its obvious you know.
So?
Well, my umbrella got broken, she explained, sweet smile, pleading voice and
all, and I dont really like to get wet.
He remained apathetic.
Your point?
Well, I was thinking if you could share your umbrella with me. She motioned
to the umbrella he was holding, slightly raising her voice to fight the loud patters of the
rain.
Nothing.
Please? She pointed the other side of the road. Just take me across the street
and you can go. From there, I can find my way to the train station without getting wet.
Still nothing.
I will pay you if you want! But dont overcharge I dont have enough money
left here She carelessly reached for her purse, but that made her books fall to the wet,
muddy ground.
What the hell.
She immediately stepped outside the shed to pick her books up, but that resulted to her
getting soaked by the rain.
Shitshitshit this day She cursed to herself.
He grabbed one of her books from the muddy ground and shielded her from the
rain with his umbrella.
This is all your fault, Sakura snapped, gritting her teeth. The statement was
supposed to make her sound angry and accusing but it only succeeded in making her
sound frustrated. Those books meant so much to her.
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Fine, he sighed, taking the other two books from Sakuras grasp. His clothes
were now smudged with dirt and mud, and she just stated that it was his entire fault.
So much for taking responsibility.
Take me to the train station or else I wont forgive you and I will make you pay
for these books or you could just give me your umbrella because this is all your fault
anyway!
Angry. Demanding. Without even a pause to catch her breath.
Fine.
Fine. Just fine?
Pay for the books or take you there? He seemed to be getting annoyed too, his
black jacket already stained with dirt from the books.
W-Well
Can I choose both?
***
When did she realize that she felt something for Sasuke? It wasnt when she first
saw him at the cafeteria or when she obliged him to share his umbrella with her, even if
that was how she got his name.
It wasnt when she started approaching him every time she saw him alone. She always
did that and she enjoyed talking to him even if she was the one who only did the talking.
Sasuke always remained subdued whenever they were together, but she knew
that he was listening. He would shrug, or sigh, or roll his eyes, or make those unfriendly
and barely audible noises, so she would know if he was interested or not. His replies
werent the type that would encourage conversations, but it wasnt the type that would
tell her to go away either.
It wasnt when she saw him obsessively stirring his coffee again, not when she
caught him perusing a Niccol Machiavelli book at the university library, not when she
first got an acceptable answer from him.
Maybe it was when they started being friends (for lack of a better term). Maybe
it was when he told her about his opinion on communism, or when he explained why he
loved stirring his coffee in a clockwise then counterclockwise direction, or when they
started going to the cafeteria together. Maybe it was when they first sat down under a
shady tree and simply talked.
I have an idea, she enthusiastically announced one afternoon while wading
through one of her medical books. She leaned against the tree trunk and stole a glance at
the man lying on the grass beside her.
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He remained impassive and, knowing him, she took this as a sign to continue.
Why not make a study on inhibited sexual desire among couples who lack verbal and
non-verbal communication?
Who would be interested in that? He kept his eyes closed.
Well, I just want to work on something unique and
Thats already been studied on.
She raised an eyebrow. How do you know?
He let out an exasperated sigh and looked at her. Why are you here?
Hey, youre changing the topic
Why are you here? he repeated. Monotonous. Apathetic.
Just passing by I guess.
Again.
Forced, clumsy laughter.
What?
What?
Why? When? How? Where?
He turned his head to the other side, uninterested.
Annoying.
Dont youwant my company?
No.
What no?
No reply.
Her smile faded and was replaced by a frown.
Then bear with me. So, what was I saying?
Youre annoying too, you know.
She found out that despite how shallow she perceived Sasuke to be (with his
poker face and monosyllabic replies (which she found amusing (which she would never
admit to him (even if she was always tempted to do so)))), he still possessed an
unfathomable depth within him.
He was mysterious and quiet and snobbish (But not rude, she defended when
Shikamaru implied otherwise). He was a genius to the point of being a nerd (Hes too
handsome to be a nerd! declared her inner self).
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She told him how she was deprived of any culinary skill, how she always forgot
her umbrella at home, how she managed to budget her monthly expenses (not that he
really cared), and how she pursued her dream of becoming a nurse despite her mothers
protests. She apologized for imposing on him when they first met; he just grunted as
usual. She shared almost everything about her. All she got were his name and his political
ideas in return.
Maybe she didnt know where everything started, how they eventually became
what they were (whatever their relationship was) and why her heart pounded every time
she saw him.
Maybe reasons didnt really matter at all.
***
"I'm almost done Okay, I'll wait." She pressed the end call button, her heart
betraying her again.
She couldn't help but feel embarrassed about the fact that she was always
excited to see him.
It wasn't the first time Sasuke would pick her up. Many times, she would make
some lame excuse to see him, expecting that he would turn her down. She knew he was
aware of what she was up to, but still she asked him to lend her a hand about something.
He would always say no, that he didn't want to.
But he would always show up.
"And dreaming of your touch, it's all too much! You know, I don't have any
choice!" she sang ardently, waving her arms and enjoying her reflection on the window,
caught up in her own world in the laboratory and at the music she was playing.
He didnt arrive late, likewise didnt say he was already there before she saw
him.
She insisted to take the bus when the rain pelted down unexpectedly. It was
overloaded with passengers and they were lucky enough (thanks to Sasuke) to occupy the
backseat.
I hate these moments, she told him.
Her mood changed from being bubbly to being conscious of his presence. She
felt awkward because of the fact that all of the passengers were squashed together, yet he
still left a small distance between them.
Not that she truly wanted to be pressed against his weight and by the others who
were sitting beside him. Rather, it was because the passengers on his side were openly
complaining and asking him to move and give more space, sensing that Sakura wasnt
having a hard time unlike them.
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He didnt budge. He simply closed his eyes, earphones tucked securely in his
ears, ignoring their presence with dignity.
(Or, Sakura mused, maybe he had not really heard them.)
Despite the fact that the people were vexed with the two of them, she couldnt
help but hide a small smile and the warm tingles she felt because of his simple gesture.
What kind of music do you listen to? she asked after a few minutes, somewhat
bored at the long journey, attempting to start a conversation. She let out an irritated sigh
when he didnt reply. Of course, you cant hear me, she added sarcastically, noting that
he was busy selecting music on his mp3 player.
She shifted her attention towards the window. It was still raining hard.
The bus halted abruptly, causing Sakuras head to bump slightly against the seat
in front of her. She scowled uncomfortably, just like the other passengers.
The bus started to dash again.
She looked at Sasuke who seemed unperturbed the whole time.
Youre not a good singer came his direct, unsolicited reply.
Huh?
and dancer.
Eh? What are you?
She always remained clueless whenever he was the first one who started talking.
Then, it dawned her, remembering the scene in the laboratory earlier.
She had not been aware that Sasuke saw her singing and dancing and brooding
freely alone in the laboratory.
A-As if you could carry a tune! Youre not a good singer either! she
defensively blurted out, cheeks reddening because of embarrassment. She had forgotten
all about it when they entered the bus and began the unbearable ride.
I am, he said artlessly.
She always found something about him that she disliked in men, but he wouldnt
be Uchiha Sasuke if those traits werent in him.
***
She sat on the library steps with her best friend Ino, waiting for Sasuke to return
the book that she needed for her research. The intricate nude statues were witness to how
theyve endured the scorching heat of the afternoon sun.
He needs to get here early, she nervously said. Sasuke-kun still has a class
later.
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No he doesnt. Their professor will just tell them to write an essay, Ino
supplied. I heard the professors from the social sciences department do nothing but
make their students write papers. After that, they stash the documents and sell them to
garbage collectors.
Sakura raised an eyebrow. I didnt know youre in speaking terms with
professors.
No. The blonde shrugged. Shikamaru is a student assistant, remember?
I didnt know youre in speaking terms with Shikamaru.
Ino just shrugged again, combing her golden locks with her fingers. I dont
really know how you manage to stay with that guy, Sakura.
What?
She waved her hand impatiently. Look, dont pretend you dont know what Im
saying, Forehead. Its been months since you two got together and he still hasnt
explicitly said that he likes you too.
Yeah yeah, youre just jealous Ino-pig.
Excuse me? She placed her hands on her hips in mock indignation. How
could youyou forehead girl! Im concerned about you and then you say those kind of
things?
Sakura gently slapped her friends shoulder with a giggle.
Ill definitely hear it someday. Its just a matter of time, I guessso whats the
rush? Im patient.
Im patiently waiting.
A deep sigh.
Whatever. Youre really absurd.
By then, Sakura already caught sight of Sasuke who, as far as she could
remember, was frowning more than usual. She didnt bother to ask, though. She was too
busy thinking of how she would say thanks.
***
The day Sasuke first approached Sakura on his own free will was the day exam
schedules for the semester were released.
He found her squinting in front of the bulletin board, fingers hastily typing her
schedule on her cell phone. Sasuke waited for her to finish copying everything before
tapping her shoulders.
Sasuke-kun! Sakura exclaimed, beaming like a little girl would when offered
candy.
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Dont smile like that.
Whats a pre-law student doing in a nursing building?
He offered his midnight blue umbrella to her. Theres a storm coming.
Sakura stared at him and the umbrella in his hand. It took a while before her
mind processed the situation. Sasuke-kun I love you too. She made a move to
embrace the man in front of her but he sidestepped just in time to avoid her.
She pouted.
Meet me at the cafeteria tonight.
***
The tranquil sound of the rain against the stone pavement. Making her way
against students who were already on their way home. Passing by the muddy floors of the
Architecture building, which was beside the cafeteria. Feeling intensely excited and
happy on her way to their date (according to her, yet again).
***
Friday, 7:45 P.M. She watched his back as he opened the door of the cafeteria to
leave. Her memories were vivid and hazy at the same time. She really didnt know the
purpose of their meeting; she couldnt remember how long they sat there.
She remembered arriving late. Sasuke was already seated at their usual table,
scanning the pages of another thick book. She remembered herself secretly laughing at
how nerdy he looked. He saw her, she apologized and he made the usual greeting which
was composed of a simple Hn and a gesture towards the seat in front of him.
She could smell the light scent of his cologne as she took her seat.
They talked about the usual stuff in their usual wayher, trying hard to
continue the flow of conversation and him, shrugging and grunting and glaring and
sarcastically commenting from time to time. Even so, she couldnt recall what they talked
about if they talked about anything relevant at all.
She jokingly invited him to walk her home but he ignored her offer.
So thats why you lent me your umbrella.

You just dont want to accompany me and here I was thinking that youre
already starting to show a form of affection or something.
I dont know what youre talking about.
Youre so cold you shouldnt be saying that to me.
He continued stirring his coffee like he didnt hear anything.
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The hot liquid swirled gracefully against the stirrer.
Clockwise.
Counterclockwise.
Clockwise.
Counterclockwise.
She clasped and unclasped her hands and tried to ignore the weight that she felt
in her chest.
Did you ever like me?
She was sure that she saw his hand tensed for a second, but other than that, he
gave no indication of interest in her question.
There had been no actual declarations that they were together, nor any sign that
told her that he saw her the way she saw him. She was assuming, and it had always been
like that.
You can answer that question, he blankly replied after a few seconds, this time
flipping through the pages of the boring political book at his left.
She was relieved to hear those words from him (yet still internally anxious), but
was reluctant to divert back to their original discussion.
A shrug. Oh well. Ill return this to you tomorrow same time, same place, she
coolly said, trying to sound unaffected. She playfully waved his midnight blue umbrella.
I wont need that anymore.
Its yours.
She pouted, but couldnt keep herself from smiling at the present he gave her.
Its mine then.
And thats when everything became blurry.
Friday, 8:18 PM. She wanted to run after him but she was too dazed to do so. In
the end, she felt contented sitting there alone while touching her lips and savoring the
faint bitter taste of coffee in her mouth.
***
Thursday, 12:57 PM. Almost a week after their last encounter. She racked her
brain to remember. She really did. But her thoughts couldnt seem to focus on what was
important. The black book which turned out to be his copy of The Art of War. The
intricate stone statues. The muddy Architecture building. The soft pitter-patters of the
rain against the pavement. The masculine scent of his cologne. The time he opened the
door to leave.
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He left her.
She tried to contact him; she even went to the College of Social Sciences to ask
for his whereabouts. But he was gone.
Everything had become hazy everything but the moment she saw him walking
away from her. She wished she had followed him then, but regretting her past actions or
lack thereof would not get her anywhere. She touched her lips and tried her best to
remember but even if she did so, her mind couldnt find a plausible reason for her
disquiet.
That night was supposed to be a mark of a beginningtheir beginningbut
tonight, as she lay on her bed, pink sheets covering her petite frame, Sakura doubted if
there was even a connection between them in the first place.
***
The school cafeteria usually opens at 7:00 AM, but Sakura knew that Sasuke
goes there at about 5:30 PM because that was when he did his papers. It was across a vast
field of uncut grass and tall trees. During the rainy season, the field would become a
muddy site which everyone avoided. This time, however, spring has arrived to mark the
start of a new school year.
Sakura clutched her new books close to her chest, looking towards the cafeteria,
waiting for someone to enter the place. Shikamaru, seing what was about to happen
again, sighed in resignation. The girl was hopeless.
Nonetheless, he still asked her if she wanted to go eat at a cheap barbecue
restaurant with them. Sakura just cheerfully declined, saying that shed spend the rest of
the day to fix her things at the dormitory. Even so, she still remained rooted to where she
was standing.
Shikamaru sighed yet again, weary, as he made his way to the sidewalk and
motioned for Ino to do the same.
She still hasnt given up.
I can see that. If she continues doing this
Shell go nuts and thatll be troublesome. How long has it been since Uchiha
disappeared?
Almost half a year, I think.
She should just give up. Its stupid to think Uchiha had any interest in her.
Ino glared. Just shut up, okay? It doesnt help if you keep on repeating whats
obvious.
Sakura knew it was absurd to keep holding on to something that even she was
unsure of. She shouldve paid more attention to their last conversation. She shouldve run
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after him when she had the chance. She shouldve asked him when they were still
together.
She should not have assumed too much.
She knew her friends were rightthat she should just give up on himbut she
couldnt stop hoping. Telling yourself that you would forget a person was one thing,
actually forgetting that person was another.
Sakura turned to Ino and smiled. I guess I should just go with you guys.
Inos sullen face lightened up. Thats the spirit.
***
1:00 P.M. Exactly twenty-seven months, eighteen hours, thirty-three minutes
and six seconds since her last encounter with Sasuke. She could only remember the date
and time now. All the other detailsthe conversation, the atmosphere, and the title of the
bookhad been buried at the back of her mind, memories that she would rather not visit
again.
Today was supposedly the only day of her last summer vacation as a nursing
student and instead of attending an orientation for her next hospital duty, Sakura chose to
spend the day at her apartment.
What the hell is up with the freaking sun? Ino grumbled, desperately trying to
cool herself with a makeshift fan made of thin cardboard. The air conditioning unit was
already at its lowest temperature but it wasnt enough to fight the heat.
They were lazing around her small pad, eating the brownies they baked earlier,
watching pointless TV soaps and laughing at the twisted fates of the leading ladies.
Ah, dont whine like that, Sakura said, rolling her eyes at Inos complaints.
She stood up, went to the small green fridge adjacent the living room and took out two
packs of ice milk. She preferred this than ice cream since it didnt contain too much
butterfat.
She threw one to her blonde companion. You make the weather worse by
saying those things.
Yeah whatever, came the impatient reply. Ino deftly caught the pack with her
long fingers and leaped from her seat to get spoons from the kitchen. She returned and sat
beside Sakura who was now lazily channel surfing.
Sakura huffed and started to feed on the sweet frozen food in her hands. No
good show, she mumbled and handed the remote control to Ino. She stood and looked
out her window.
The view was boring. Her unit was at the fourth floor and all that she could see
were the bars nearby, the bay that was a few streets away from where they were, and the
traffic below. Oftentimes, she would observe the people walking past the pavements but
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there were none of them today. Perhaps, they were also stuck in their own homes or
swimming at the beach, enjoying ice cream or whatnot.
She licked her spoon and turned to Ino. Hey, why dont we invite the other
girls for beach volleyball?
Theyre busy with their practicums, remember?
Oh, sorry.
A pillow came flying to her direction. She skillfully evaded it using her left arm.
Hey!
Tch. The blonde crossed her arms. You should be thinking about more
important things. You know, like getting a job or choosing a specialization for med
school.
Stupid. Ive already planned my future since we were in third grade, Sakura
replied, returning to her previous sit.
Oh sorry, genius, Ino replied in jest, with just a hint of sarcasm in her tone.
Then maybe you should start looking for a boyfriend? I heard that you have a classmate
who volunteers with you at the daycare center. She winked at Sakura, who simply rolled
her eyes at the comment.
Hes just a friend, and I have more important things in mind. The young
woman mused, fighting the tingling sense of nostalgia building in her stomach. Besides,
its impossible for me to think about stuff like that when I have so much work to do. You
know, school stuff, exams, my thesis proposal you should start worrying about those
too Ino-pig.
Ha! I have Shika for that, Ino replied, sticking her tongue out.
What would Shikamaru know about interior decoration? Hes a philosophy
major, remember?
Bah. Whatever.
She smiled to herself, happy that her friend had someone like that bum to help
her with her studies.
She smiled without any tinge of bitterness, knowing she had already moved on.
Its just a matter of time now before shed find the one who was truly meant for her.
***
The angry downpour of rain against the stone pavement. The muddy steps
towards the store entrance. The long line to the cashier. The loud cries of the toddler in
front of her. It was just another rainy Sunday morning at the grocery store. No significant
event to look forward to except the opening of classes the following week.
But fate had other things in mind for Sakura.
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Which explained why she found herself reeling at the sound of the man at the
other line.
The low and subdued timbre of his voice. The economy of his words. The
expressionless monotone.
Her hand flew to her mouth.
How could she forget?
It was Sasukes voice after all.
***
Sakura irritably opened the maroon umbrella she previously bought at the
grocery store a week ago. She had just exited their college building when the heavens
started to grumble and tiny droplets of rain started falling from the gloomy sky.
Perfect timing.
She sighed, slowly making her way down the stone steps to the waiting shed.
She watched as the raindrops slowly covered the steps, unconsciously noting that the
scene before her seemed curiously familiar.
She raised her head from the ground to look at the solitary figure standing at the
bottom of the stairs.
There he was standing right in front of her, ebony eyes staring straight at her
emerald ones.
She had long imagined this momenthim coming back and her crying at the
sight of him. She imagined all the pain he brought her coming back. She envisioned
herself slapping him, punching him, and even ignoring his presence. She wouldnt let him
get away with all the heartaches he caused her, wouldnt she?
But instead of feeling hurt or betrayed or angry, she felt nothing.
No anguish.
No pain.
Instead, she felt joy for the return of an old friend.
And despite herself, she smiled at him.
***
They found themselves sitting at their usual spot at the cafeteria where they first
met. He ordered a cup of his favorite coffee and she asked for a mug of hot chocolate and
a lovely sweet made with whipped chestnuts and almond paste.
This time though, Sakura felt awkward with the whole situation. After all, how
should someone act around a person who left after he kissed her?
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It seemed like Sasuke noticed her unease. Hows school? came the cool offer.
She waved her hands excitedly. Oh, Ive been doing great lately. In case you
dont know, I got the highest score in our latest battery exam. Im cool like that.
Hn.
She ignored his offhand remark, knowing that this was his way of indicating his
interest (or disinterest) in the conversation. She continued talking, because she was aware
that it would be hard for her to start another conversation if she didnt go on with this.
And you know the time when I was still thinking whether I should go to med
school or not?
Sasuke shrugged, eyes focused on the hot liquid inside his cup. Sakura fought
the strong feeling of dj vu overcoming her senses.
For the first time since they saw each other that day, she observed him. She
noted how little change had occurred in him. She noticed he wasnt wearing black this
time, and the navy blue sweatshirt complimented his pale skin very well. He still smelled
the same. He still drank his coffee in that graceful way of his.
But it wasnt his appearance or his scent that mattered.
He was still distant and aloof, still silent and detached. She wondered why he
left all of a sudden, without a warning, without a goodbye.
At least he went back to see her again.
You were saying?
She was snapped out of her reverie by the sound of his voice. Oh sorry, I was
just she trailed off and faked a laugh. S-Sorry.
Why the hell was she stuttering? She took a large bite off of her dessert and
drank from her hot chocolate. What was I talking about again?
He shrugged. Med school.
Oh yeah. So, uh so like I was saying Ive finally decided to go to med
school. Tsunade-sama, you know, our big-boobed dean Well, she said I might get a
scholarship if I do well this year; she said she would endorse me if I graduate with honors
and A pause, to see if he was still listening. And well I figured that I should take
pediatrics since I love children a lot. You see Ive been doing a lot of volunteer work at
a daycare center. Theres this guy He urged me to go there with him every weekend so
that I wouldnt have all my attention to my studies. Ive been going there regularly for
five months now. Its really effective and I enjoy their company a lot.
She looked at him again. He was glaring at his coffee cup now. Maybe he was
annoyed at her for rambling too much.
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You havent changed much Sasuke-kun. A rueful smile. So what have you
been up to lately? I havent heard from you since well, you know.
Nothing much.
She waited for him to add something more to his reply but he remained silent,
his chin resting lightly on one hand, the other lazily stirring the contents of a white
porcelain cup, as if coffee was the most important thing in the world. She sighed and
traced the rim of her mug. Like I said, you havent changed. At all.
He looked at her.
Umm you know, still distant and mysterious and secretive she trailed off,
not wanting to say something that might cause him to walk out on her. She mimicked him
and focused her attention on her food.
The rest of their meal was spent in silence. But it wasnt the uncomfortable
silence that Sakura was accustomed to whenever she ate with Sasuke. Instead, the
absence of conversation seemed to reassure them of the fact that the past didnt matter
anymore, that they were still friends despite what happened.
She savored every morsel of her dessert, not minding the length of time she was
taking to finish it off. Sasuke had drained his coffee several minutes ago but he remained
quiet and resigned himself to the image of her chewing carefully.
I see you got a new umbrella.
Sakura was taken off guard. Sorry?
Sakura.
She spluttered wordlessly for a few seconds, a response which, she thought, was
embarrassing but acceptable since it was the first time he mentioned her name.
Their eyes met and a lingering moment of silence passed where all they could
hear was the shrill music in the background, exceptionally bothering to both their ears,
before Sasuke averted his gaze, looking for an escape route.
He opened and closed his mouth before muttering something indistinguishable
under his breath.
He wasnt the kind of person who would incite a conversation, and he knew that
speaking without thinking could lead to inauspicious consequences. He surveyed his oh-
so-precious coffee cup, contemplative.
Sakura knitted her eyebrows and focused on her food once again. Something
was wrong with the man in front of her, though she couldnt put a finger on it.
When she turned to look at him again, Sasuke was back to his usual self
composed, refined and indifferent. His eyes watched her impassively like nothing
happened.
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She took this as an opportunity to speak.
Im sorry, she began, meeting his gaze. He looked away, giving no sign that
he had heard her. She noticed his dark fine eyebrows tightening at the sound of her
words, but she willed herself to continue, Im sorry for being stupid back then. I-I
didnt mean to impose on you or anything. I just thought we could be
You didnt do anything stupid, Sasuke cut her off in mid-statement, closing
his eyes and folding his arms in front of him. His handsome features softened.
Sakura breathed a sigh of relief, knowing that there were no loose ends between
them now.
Sasuke-kun, she said, making a move to leave. Im sorry I have to leave now.
I promised a friend that Id accompany him to the bookstore today, Im really sorry.
The man in front of her regarded her goodbye coolly.
Its nice seeing you again. Sakura smiled. Until next time?
Aa.
Until next time then. She laughed, moving forward to give Sasuke a peck on
the cheek. She waved goodbye and disappeared behind the cafeteria entrance, leaving
him staring pensively at his coffee cup.
***
Sakura lay impassively on the soft mattress of her bed, counting the cracks on
the ceiling. She had always enjoyed listening to music at night, with only her bedside
lamp on, trying to clear her thoughts before lulling herself to sleep.
So what if the Uchiha Sasuke invited her out for a snack earlier? That couldnt
possibly mean anything to him at all.
3
And every time you notice me by
Holding me closely and saying sweet things
I dont believe that it could be
You speaking your mind and
Saying the real thing
She glared at her iPod and turned it off. She didnt need a song to reiterate what
happened between them. Granted, Sasuke never said or did anything sweet to her. Indeed,
she had been too assuming then. And she wouldnt want to formulate a wrong conclusion
as to what had transpired earlier that day.
One mistake was enough.
Many things changed since he left. She never went back to that cafeteria, never
used the umbrella he gave her, never hung out at the mango tree where she had always
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caught him taking a nap. More than once, some of her classmates had tried to ask her out,
but she never showed any interest in them except when someone suggested that she spend
time with toddlers.
Her friends used to match her with guys in the campus, saying that they liked
her, but she brushed them off, believing they only made things up to distract her.
She had used her distress as an excuse to do better in her studies, believing that
it was the only way to forget Sasuke. She became the best among her peers, the first in
every exam, and ahead of everyone.
It had been her fault for assuming too much and she had promised that she
wouldnt repeat that mistake again.
True, she had gotten over him, but that didnt exempt her from being curious
about his actions.
Stupid Sasuke. Always playing with her thoughts and feelings.
She wouldnt fall for him now. Not when she had finally learned how to go on
with her life without thinking about him. Not when she had finally found other things to
focus on.
***
Special delivery! came an unfamiliar booming voice outside the nurses
quarters.
Sakuras soft-spoken, white-eyed companion gave her an inquisitive stare. They
had just finished their graveyard shift at the university hospital and they were still groggy
from the work they did an hour ago.
The pink-haired woman returned the unspoken question with a confused look,
not knowing what the din outside the door was all about. Sakura was about to stand up to
open the door when the other girl motioned for her to stay where she was. Its okay
Haruno-san. Ill go check it out on my own.
She was greeted by the sight of several bouquets of roses. She found the source
of the commotiona wide-eyed, blond lad with a toothy grinhidden behind the
blossoms.
She blushed. H-Hi, what can I do for you?
Are you Miss Haruno Sakura? there went the booming voice once again.
Umm no, she replied, gesturing for him to lower his voice, they were in a
hospital after all. How may I help you?
Well these flowers are for her. The blond offered her the bunch of flowers,
dropping one on the floor.
Hinata whats going on? Sakura called from the inside.
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Uh, Sakura, this guy She regarded him with the same inquisitive look she
gave the other student a while ago.
Uzumaki Naruto at your service! supplied the blond enthusiastically.
Err U-Uzumaki Naruto says these flowers are for you. She bended over to
help him pick up the bouquet he had dropped.
Excuse me. Sakura peered outside the door. What can I do for you?
Whoa, I didnt know that bastard has good taste in women! Sakura-chan is
gorgeous!
She flinched at the familiar tone the unknown person had used to address her.
Im Uzumaki Naruto! He leaned closer, as if he was about to tell her a special
secret. Someones waiting for you at the hallway. Hes the one who asked me to deliver
these flowers!
Sakura regarded him warily, suspecting that Ino was playing a practical joke on
her, but something about this Uzumaki Naruto told her to check if what he was saying
was actually true.
Once all the bouquets were inside the quarters, she motioned for Hinata to wait
for her as she followed Naruto to the aforementioned hallway. You must be the
unluckiest girl in the world Sakura-chan, he said with mock seriousness, for attracting a
guy like that. But he has a number of good points too, if you get to know him more.
When I first met him, I thought he was gay because I caught him listening to Taylor Swift
songs in his iPod
When they rounded into a corner, she saw the person she least expected to see
waiting for her, holding another bouquet of red roses and wearing what suspiciously
looked like a tuxedo.
Narutos voice started to fade into the background.
Her green eyes widened in surprise and confusion as she examined him.
Sasuke pretended that he had not seen her, going over something written on a
crumpled sheet of paper in his hands. His face scrunched slightly with what looked like
annoyance or disgust before folding the paper neatly, each edge coming into contact with
each other perfectly. He inhaled deeply before scowling at the wall in front of him.
Naruto sniggered behind her, before giving the pink haired woman a light push.
Ill just stay behind this wall Sakura-chan. The bastard wouldnt want me to see his
performance.
Sakura was unsure of what was happening but she still yielded to his request.
She walked to where Sasuke was, who stiffened at the sight of her.

4
O my Luve's like a red, red rose that's newly sprung in June; O my Luve's like
the melodie that's sweetly played in tune.
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Low. Emotionless. Unsure.
Sakura stopped dead on her tracks. Eh? W-What?
Sasuke threw her a half-annoyed, half-discomfited look, ignoring the
mischievous glances the passersby were giving them, before returning his gaze to the
wall in front him, as if delivering a speech. He reduced the volume of his voice to a low
whisper, As fair art thou, my bonnie lass, so deep in luve am I; and I will luve thee still,
my dear, till a' the seas gang dry
Sakura blinked for a few moments.
Then, the words Sasuke were saying began processing in her head.
Her knees wobbled.
Till a' the seas gang dry, my dear, and the rocks melt wi' the sun; I will luve
thee still, my dear, while the sands o' life shall run. Sasuke hesitated, before looking
straight into her eyes and giving her the flowers he was holding. Sakura noticed his
fingers were reluctantlywell, trembling. And fare thee weel, my only Luve, and fare
thee weel awhile! And I will come again, my Luve, tho' it ware ten thousand mile.
As soon as he finished reciting, Sakura started crying in front of him, grabbing
the collar of his expensive clothes and punching him solidly on his stomach.
How dare you play this kind of game with me youyou stupid, heartless,
unfair, annoying, ugly piece of garbage she trailed off, unable to think of any more
insults because of the strange heavy feeling building in her chest.
Tch. Sasuke glared at her, hands traveling to the place where she had just hit
him.
When she didnt respond, he made a move to put his hands on her shoulder to
stop her from crying, but she swiftly inched away from him, hands furiously rubbing the
tears from her eyes.
Stop it Sasuke please, she finally managed weakly, bowing her head down.
Sasuke frowned. What do you want me to do?
What? Sakura repeated his question, disoriented, her voice dripping with
anger and confusion, What are these flower-giving and poem recitation all about? Why
are you doing these things now? You-You broke my heart; you left me feeling so bad
about myself and now you suddenly come back with-with flowers and poems and light
meals How do you want me to react? Why are you asking me what to do now?
Sasuke quietly stared at her for a few seconds and when he spoke again, all his
confusion and annoyance had been replaced by a placid but earnest answer. I came back
for you. I
This time he was cut off by the bouquet of flowers smashing right into his face.
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I didnt ask you to come back!
It was the first time she snapped at him, glaring at him with all the hate she
could muster. All the sorrow she bottled up for more than a year started welling up.
Some passersby stopped on their tracks and curiously stared at them to see what
the commotion was all about: why there was a man dressed formally in a hospital, why
the large bouquet of roses was slowly losing its petals.
Sasuke opened and closed his mouth uncharacteristically, possibly thinking
about a plausible explanation to give her. Consequently put off, he remained silent, but
still had enough time to grab Sakuras wrist when she made a move to hit him again with
the bouquet. Undeterred, she lifted her other hand to slap his shoulders but Sasukes
reflexes were quick enough to catch her with his free hand.
They struggled for a few agonizing seconds, before Sakura finally succeeded in
freeing her hand from Sasukes grip. She inhaled deeply.
Sasuke poised himself for another fit of rage, which came as quickly as he had
expected.
Sakura started to cry harder, small hands weakly punching his broad chest. I-I
hate you! W-Why did you have to leave? Why did you make me think about you too
much? I hate you!
He let her do what she wanted, patiently waiting for her outburst to subside.
She thought she was okay.
She believed she was okay.
But why was she feeling this way again?
Her mind was silently having a lengthy and heated discussion with itself. One
side told her to walk out on him just so that he would have a taste of his own medicine,
the other side was convincing her to admit to herself the truth that she had been trying to
hide from everyone since Sasuke had left.
In the end, she finally allowed herself to acknowledge the fact that she still had
feelings for him, despite all the things he did to her.
She continued crying out of frustration, her heavy breathing filling the silence
between them.
When she was done, Sasuke firmly put one hand on her shoulder, the other over
her head, and gradually pulled her close.
She struggled weakly, throwing feeble punches against his chest.
Im sorry.
This is stupid.
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I know.
I-I still love you.
I know.
You jerk!
Aa.
She cast an eye on him. Why the sudden shift to the saccharine approach?
None of these were my idea, he answered dully, throwing a dark look at the
corner where Narutos blond spikes were conspicuously visible.
Sakura smiled and buried her face against his chest. I havent totally forgiven
you yet
Hn, came the obvious reply. His voice was relaxed, with no hint of sarcasm,
and she could already imagine his self-satisfied face above her head.
She clucked her tongue in disapproval. but I will as long as youll never
disappear without so much of a warning ever again. And stop being so mysterious! Im
not a decoder, you know.
Sakura didnt see his smile, but she heard it in his voice. Hn.
If she werent too preoccupied with Sasuke, she would have seen how the
people around them stood in awe at the scene before them. Or how Naruto videotaped the
whole exchange.
***
Monday, 6:09 A.M. Sometimes she wondered how she could possibly imprint
every memory of him in her heart vividly. Sometimes she wished she had a remote
control to replay scenes accurately. The cafeteria where they first met. The scent of earth
after it rained. The midnight blue umbrella she kept hidden inside her cabinet. The
knowing smiles the people in the hospital gave them. The bitter taste of coffee in her
mouth.
***
What?
What?
What? How? When? Where? Why?
Tch.
What are we?
I dont know.
Love.
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Love is...
Zeus] said: 'I have a notion which will humble [men's] pride and mend their manners;
they shall continue to exist, but I will cut them in two[...]'
He spoke and cut them in two, like a sorb-apple which is halved for pickling,
[...]And he bade Apollo give the face and the half of the neck a turn
in order that the man might contemplate the section of himself:
this would teach him a lesson of humility."
--Symposium
8. whoever loved that loved not at first sight?
Love is, she had said to him one day, and he had paused to listen: love is, I think,
like gravity. Or something. Intangible, inexplicablebut it influences every moment of
our lives. What do you think?
He thought she was stupid. But he thought that often, and there was something
beautifully expressive, dreamy and happy, in her eyes. So he said: Aa, not knowing why.
Galileo, she smiled vaguely, eyes unfocused. We're learning about him in
history class, nowyou're missing out, Sasuke-kun; I think you should come to class.
(Unsaid: stop hanging out with those druggie friends of yours. Stop wasting your
potential. Stop; stop; but forever unsaid. Theirs was a history of silence.) Because, I
meanGalileo was more than a scientist, you know? He washe was an iconoclast, a
revolutionary, andI want
What? To be like him: persecuted and ridiculed and excommunicated? he said;
but the faint curl of his upper lip was not quite a sneer, the faint edge in his voice not
quite derision. There was a peculiar look on his face, a boyishness at odds with the
angular maturity of his face. She brought that out in him, some days.
No, Sakura squinted, wrinkling her nose at him. No, of course not. Famous and
brilliant, sillywho wants to be ridiculed? She readjusted her grip on the swing, bending
her knees and kicking off. Sasuke looked at her a long moment, thoughtful and quiet, and
then too began swinging.
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Genius, she said, soft and slow; eyes shadowed and voice hushed with a secret
potential like the moments before dawn. He found himself straining to hear her over the
metallic crick-creek of the swings. I want to be brilliant.
Aa, he said again, because there had been something hard in the set of her face,
something cold and determined. Aa, he said, and looked at her a very long time.
Brilliant, she promised herself, a whisper, a breath, and then was silent.
(he heard.)
11. my heart is harden'd, i cannot repent
Love is, she had said to him one day, and he had listened with half an ear: love
is, I think, like magic. Hard to define, but it brings miracles. It transcends reality,
mortalityit cannot be constrained by 'possible' and 'impossible.' Love is magic. Don't
you think so?
He thought she was corny and girly andsentimental. But she was also smiling
at him, white teeth and crinkled eyes; so he sighed and told her, You've been reading too
many romance novels, I think.
No, she giggled. But something was off, left him unsettled, cold. No, I've been
watching too many Disney movies.
He eyed hera good, long look, eyes dark and perpicacious. Aa, he said, slow,
bland. It was quicker to agree.
You cannot deny love, she told him and he said: Maybe.
Love conquers all, she pronounced.
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And he looked up and really listened.
No, he said, quiet and distant like someone else's tragedy. No.
No?
All conquers love, he said, and then would not speak again.
I will love one day, she said, in his silence, because that was how things worked.
I will love, and it will not be conquered, it will never be conquered. Because love is
magic, pixie dust, and all you have to do is believe. All you have to do is believe. I'll
prove it to you.
He wanted to tell her no, wanted to tell her that people could not fly even with
pixie dust, even with faith and belief and pretty animation of movies. He wanted her to
pause, wanted her to stopdon't prove it, he wanted to say, don't prove it. You can't fly.
There's gravity. Gravity.
(gravity. but that was love too.)
But he did not say anything: remained silent and did not believe.
Doubting Thomas, she dimpled at him. Then, determinedly: I'll show you one
day. True love conquers all. I'll show youI will. I'll love and I'll love and I'll never stop.
He closed his eyes, remembered her smile, the bright white glint of her teeth and
the merry curve of her mouth and the affection in her eyes. Don't, he thought:
(don't.)
15. love me little, love me long
Love is, she had said to him one day, and he had 'mhmmm'-ed in response: love
is like glue. It's what holds humanity together. It's what inspires us to achieve, to push, to
accomplishto better this world, you see. Love is what makes the world go round, what
fuels us, drives usit is the Energizer bunny. On steroids.
Hn, he said, noncommital as ever, but his brows furrowed a little. Her figurative
language, he thought, was rapidly going downhill.
Well, c'mon. What do you think?
That your metaphors are terrible.
Similes, she sniffed at him, chewing absently at the eraser on top of her pencil.
He slanted a quizzical eyebrow at her over the top of his textbook. I mean it, you know.
Love keeps us going: through pain, through hunger, through cold. Love
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Conquers all, he said, because it had always been quicker to agree. I know.
You're wrong, he thought; but that was unnecessary to say and he was not in the
habit of volunteering information. He also found points of inflection on his polynomial
curves more interesting than her philosophies and theories and poetics.
I'm going to be like that, she told him, nodding. Conquer something. A hero.
Dragonslayer. I'm going to do something.
All right, he said, already thinking about discriminants and derivatives. All right.
(he wondered later, gazing over the top of her headwondered who exactly the
dragon was. and why it needed slaying.)
17. and hold that there is no sin but ignorance
Love is, she had said to him one day, while he had been looking at the acorns on
the oak tree in his backyard: love is the distance from my heart to yours.
He thought about that for a moment. Aa, he said, because that was expected, and
did not ask why mine? or what distance? He did not understand. But, he thought, if it was
that important, then she would tell him, and if it was not, then he did not care.
It struck him odd that she was silent, so he looked down at her, frowning gently.
She was gazing at him, earnest and intent, and he wondered what she meant to say.
From here, she murmured, touching her chest, breastboneand then extending
her arm, touching his chest, breastbone: to here.
He was still frowning, quiet perplexation in the furrow of his brows, when he
said, All right.
(all right: but he had not understood.)
Something about her mouth tightened, grew hard. She looked at him a very long
time, waiting. But he had never been voluntative and he was not accustomed to this, her
waiting for him to speak, her looking at him in the eyes, searching. He did not know what
she was looking for, butwatching her turn awayhe thought: she had not found it.
But if it was important, she would tell him, and if it was notif it was not, he
would not ask.
(fireflies are little things, sasu-chan, his mother had once said. they're so little,
but look how brightly they shine. you see? little things, sasuke, remember.)
He stood there a long time that afternoon, looking at the acorns on an oak tree.
The afternoon sunlight filtered through the tree leaves in dappling shadows. He thought
about a girl who had walked away and who had tried to say something, significant or
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insignificant, he did not know because he had not asked. He stood in the shade of that oak
tree, gazing up at the acorn glinting in the bright light, thought about the little things and
remembered his (dead) mother.
Sakura? he asked into her absence, and it was a beginning.
19. confess and be hanged
Love is, she had written on the notebook paper, torn from one of her Latin
exercise books: love is what keeps faith, what makes me stay. Love is nothing, and love is
enough.
She had very standard penmanship, each letter well formed and slim, words
evenly spaced. He thought she had likely spent long hours practicing her handwriting as a
child.
His own handwriting was smaller, precise and angular engineer script. He wrote
to her, a first love letter, wrote to her, a modern-day sonnet, wrote to her, everything and
nothing (for what was the use of words?) wrote to her: Aa.
Blue ink that seeped through the paper. He turned the page over and read her
notes on ablative nouns and supine forms, grammatical moods and perfect passive
participles; and he thought about dead languages, about Principia Mathematica, about
old mathematics and gravity and
It was snowing outside when he called after her, when he followed her out the
school, down the front steps: Sakura!
What was the importance of this word, this Aa of his that meant nothing at all?
What was the importance of her receiving this scrap piece of paper, useless notes of a
dead language torn out of a notebook? What was the importance of him and her, standing
under the grey sky, downy flakes of snow settling in beady glimmers on her light hair?
What was the importance, and what of the little things, and him and her, what of it all?
The crinkle of paper was strange, stark in the silence of gently drifting snow.
But there was nothing strange when she looked up at him, eyes green and large, when she
said: Oh.
It was not what he had expected, and he wondered when he had begun
expecting. It was not what he had expected, but it was not disappointment either
enough, enough, it was sufficient. When he walked away, she was smiling.
He wondered about this, what to make of it; but it probably did not matter, he
figured. He had written Aa and she had said Oh and what had that meant, what was the
importance of what it meant, must it have meant anything? There was no need for him to
understandit was truth, it did not matter, his Aa and her Ohthere was no end of
things in the heart, there was no way of understanding.
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(you can only be.)
21. yet let me kiss my lord before i die
Love is, she had said to him, some lonely nights at the bus stop; he had stood
beside her in the yellow glow of the street lights, handed her his umbrella on rainy days:
love is madness. Love can never be reasoned, never rationalizedlove is what launched
a thousand ships, ten years of war. Love is why betrayal hurts; love is why hearts break.
Love is tiny deaths that we willingly subject ourselves to. Is that not madness?
It was pride. And greed, he said instead, for he spoke these days: greed that
launched a thousand ships. How can a woman's face command that kind of loyalty? It
was the prospect of conquest, the lure of Troy's riches
You ruin mythos, she complained, wryly. Will you never let go of logic?
Would he? He looded at her, considered. He knew the beauty of mathematics;
he knew the elegant intricacies of a proof, the cold clean lines of logic. He knew the
timelessness of ancient theorems, the immortality of truths forever. Her beauty was a
faint thing and subtlequiet in the corners of her mouth and soft in the arch of her brow.
It was not a mathematical prettiness; never cold, never precise. Hers was mono no aware,
the transience of being, the "pathos of things," sakura petals against a grey sky. He could
not understand her; not as he understood his numbers and theorems and proofs. And he
told her:
No.
And these lonely nights at the bus stop, she laughedshadowed echoes of
merriness.
(is madness, she dares not ask, is madness not a very lonely thing?)
25. come give me my soul again
Love is, she said to him over stacks of biochemistry textbooks, love is a
chemical imbalance in the brain. Love is neurons going into overload
Hn, he said, looking at her in rather badly hidden concern. Medical school, third
year, and she was going insane, he thought.
Depression, too, she blinked owlishly at him in the dimness of the library. Like
love, a chemical imbalance. With infatuation, specifically, the dopamine levels of the
brain in the mesolimbic pathway lowers inhibition. Interestingly, dopamine is also
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hypothesized to be related to schizophrenia. And it causes fruit browning, which, if you
think about it
I think, he said, haltingly, that you are in the library on your twenty-fifth
birthday. He stopped there, not sure what to say after that.
I'm fine, she told him, lightly. I've been busy, that's all
He did not know why he felt so angry at that moment. He recognized his
hypocrisy, lecturing her for staying in the library on her birthday; he stayed in the library
on birthdays and weekends and holidays. But he thought: it went wrong, it went wrong
somewhere, where did it go wrong?
Talk to someone, Sakura, he said, voice low and serious, and this was the best he
could offer, the only concern he knew how to show; but he meant it, he meant it.
When she looked up at him, her eyes were hard and stubborn, like the set of her
chin. She bit out, I'm fine, with an annoyance she had never shown him before.
You're not, he said; and perhaps he had never been her friend, he had never been
tactful, he had never been kind, he had never really listenedperhaps he had always been
her only friend, he had always been truthful, he had always heard, perhaps, perhaps. He
said only: Get over it. It's unbecoming, and left her there, amid stacks of biochemistry
and anatomy books, in that dim corner of the library. He did not look back.
There was a coffee shop on the corner a block away from the library. He
thought: why not?
Fifteen minutes later, she emerged from the library front doors, pale, wet-eyed.
He was sitting on the front steps of the library, reading something German. Faust, she
saw, and was not surprised. He dogeared a page, then looked uphis eyes dark and deep,
like woods on snowy evenings, like roads less traveled by, like dusty memories of her
English major. She did not know how to take that. But he lifted his hand, and he was
offering her a Styrofoam cup of
Hot chocolate, he said. He did not ask if she would like to talk, and he did not
offer to listen; but he closed his book and set it on the step next to him. Impassivity in the
way he leaned his elbows on his kneesbut patience too.
She said: I'm not happy.
Aa, he replied. She could not tell what he meant by that. He did not know either,
but this was not about him. Not today.
I'm twenty-five years old today. I'm learning under probably the best
neurosurgeons in the world. I'm smart and I'm going places andShe waved her hands,
laughed a helpless, despairing little laugh. What's it all mean? What's it all matter?
Whatwhat am I doing, what is the importance ofof all this?
I don't know, he told her plainly.
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It's not enough, it's not, she told him, trying very hard not to cry. Neurons and
chemical imbalances and phenethylamines. It's not enough and what do I care about
neurotransmitters and I-I'm twenty-five years old today, how am I supposed to believe in
pixie dust?
Hn, he said, drawing a finger across the rim of his cup.
What do I do? D-Do I buy a birthday cake and just go on? She asked thickly,
half-smiling, half-laughing, blinking because she would not, could not cry. What am I
doing? What am I doing wrong? How do I believe?
(i want to believe.)
It was ridiculous, all of this, and who was he, trying to comfort, trying to care?
He was not made for this, and did not know how to do this, and the little things, his
mother had told himwhat had that meant?
He did not understand a lot of things, because he never asked. But, he thought,
watching this girl trying to hold back her tears and disillusionmentthe little things were
not amino acids and phenethylamines and biochemistry.
What can you do? he wondered distantly. What do you care? Who is she to you,
he thought, and What does she matter? and then, he kissed her.
It's not gravity, he told her, because it was his turn to speak now. Not glue, and
not madness. It's not something to name, it's not something to define. So stop trying. It's
not magic, Sakura, it can't conquer all; and it, it doesn't have todo you understand?
No, she said, and he told her, That's right.
All right, she said, and then: Kiss me again?
So he did, and maybe he knew what he was doing and maybe he did not. Maybe
it was a beginning or maybe he was already halfway in before he realized. And maybe,
maybeperhaps, perhaps
He did not know how to speak in poetics, had never been good at words. His
emotions were not mathematical. But he held her hand on the way home, and he traced
on the inside of her palm , loop after loop.
(love, he had not said to her, but she understood nevertheless, love is that which
does not pass.)
"and the reason is that human nature was originally one and we were a whole,
and the desire and pursuit of the whole is called love."
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Nadir
2008, summer
The small mirror distorted her features, such that certain aspects of her face
became even more prominent than usual. Her forehead, namely, and an annoying little
pimple that chose to emerge that fateful day. Other than that, it was a serviceable tool to
assure her she still looked remotely human and that the shadows ringing her eyes didnt
make her look particularly cadaverous. Her paper-pale skin and the weight loss from her
irregular sleeping and eating habits did enough of that.
Sakura redid the messy bun that had been falling over her eyes for the last
couple of hours, and slammed her locker shut. She licked her lips, almost as an
afterthought, then muttered an oath under her breath. She left her lip gloss in the
compartment of old reliable Mithrandir, the white second-hand Beetle that still had
enough spunk to carry its ostentatious name. She didnt have time to make a run for the
dormitories, where it was safely parked, gathering a golden sheen of pollen under the
trees.
She slung on her backpack and dashed out, sneakers squeaking as she dodged
past a bunch of colleaguesHave a good night, you guys!overtook a rickety
stretcher being coaxed along by an even more rickety orderlyBye, Mr. Sato!and
careened into Ward 5's nurses station to endorse her pet to roommate and surgical
resident, Tenten.
Youre seeing Mr. Stoic and Brooding, again, Tenten accused, looking up
from the computer screen.
Look whos talking, Sakura retorted, breathless. Arent you married to one?
Anyway, Pretty-sensei likes taking walks in the evenings, like just right after sunset.
Its a cat, Sakura.
And he likes his exercise. Please? I love you, Tenten-chan.
Oh, fine. But you have to talk about this guy of yours with me first. No buts
and ifs.
And make Ino-chan boiling mad? Fair deal. Im sure Ill be the topic of interest
in tonights bonding time, anyway.
Not if Hinatas there. Shell guilt trip us into a movie marathon or a review
session instead of gossiping about your man issues.
You girls enjoy, then.
You enjoy.
Sakura tried her best to smile. Well see.
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You havent talked to the guy for five years, right? Cheer up?
Ah, dont mind me, Sakura murmured, looking away. Heebie-jeebies.
Dr. Haruno, excuse me, interrupted one of the nurses timidly. About this
patient. . .
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Sorry, Keiko-san, Sakura said. Im off for the day. Im sure Dr. Hyuuga here
would be more than willing and able.
I know about that case, but its really not my call, Tenten said, glancing at the
chart the nurse carried. Can you page the medical resident, please?
Eh? But thats me!
No, its Ino now, and Im pretty sure shell strap you down and sedate you just
to stop you from leaving, so you better make a move on.
Yes, I betterIm late!
2008, summer
The sun still hovered high above the vibrant, fast-paced city; it was a mid-
afternoon in a mid-summer day, and the lord of the skies flaunted its prowess. It was still
a mild day, as far as summer days go, and downtown the streets were bustling, not only
with the usual white-collar workers rushing about, but also with tourists leisurely
exploring the promenade and teenagers congregating in corners as they were wont to,
given precious free time.
The inner city hospital sprawled several blocks, boarded by picturesque planters
dotted with puny colorful flowers and by judiciously-spaced plots with slender, wide-
branching trees. It blended in with the dirty gray of the commercial buildings that
towered nearby, but it was an oddly welcoming sight, once its clean white walls became
visible. The driver of a black pick-up truck lucked out and was able to park at a side
street near the entrance of the main building. Sasuke had driven a long way to get there,
not only in terms of kilometers. It had taken him years.
He waited in the car, window rolled down, brooding. There wasnt anything in
particular weighing down his mind, but the bustle of wheelchairs carting discharged
patients to their waiting vehicles summoned memories hed rather not recall. He could
smell again the aseptic finish that hid the stench of aged blood and human waste, could
taste at the back of his mouth the metallic tinge that came with the infusion of
hydromorphone into his veins, the suffocating lightness that blanketed his head. It was in
another hospital, another city, another world. His convalescence wasnt as easy as going
home, being looked after by family members for the first few days, following up with his
doctors. There were acres of him that needed to be untangled, undone.
Now. . .
His thoughts didnt wander too far from safety before a familiar sight caught his
attention. The rose-colored head bobbing among the chattering posse of an emaciated old
man opened a chasm in his mind. Memories stirred, floated to surface; these were from a
decade ago, lazy school afternoons, of a bright-eyed, over-achieving girl rushing to her
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club activities, of a blank-eyed, mediocre boy watching coolly from the rooftop, king of
the world, oblivious.
Hi, came the greeting. He thought it unsure, at first, but decided she was
merely breathless from her run. Her smile was warm and confident, not like the ones he
could remember, hesitant and seeking approval.
Who are you, he wanted to ask, but didnt, and instead gestured to the empty
space beside him.
Sorry, Im late, she said briskly. She scrambled up the passenger seat, not
particularly graceful.
Youre not late, he pointed out.
Sakura glanced at her wristwatch. Only two minutes. I guess, thats not
terrible. She looked at him and beamed another smile. You look well, Sasuke-kun.
How are you?
Im fine, thank you, he said politely, as he pulled out of the side street.
You?
Im well. She paused. He could see her stare at his profile from the corner of
an eye. Her expression was contemplative. Actually, Im better than that, she amended
with a chuckle. Im perfect.
Is that so?
Yes. Amazing, isnt it?
Where to now, then?
Konoha. Is that a problem?
No. Is it?
Of course not.
1998, late winter
Konoha was a mid-size town amidst gigantic evergreen trees. It originally
sprouted from a lucrative lumber business that flourished about a hundred or so years
ago. Now, the millennia-old trees were closely monitored by the government, and while
logging remained a major industry, people have become more ecologically aware and
allowed themselves to be guided by the parameters set by law. As with anything
involving societal changes, it didnt come about without controversy.
It was Haruno Sakuras last night in that town, but she didnt feel particularly
excited or anxious about leaving home, unlike most college-bound teenagers her age.
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Tomorrow, she would be bound for the capital of Fire Country, being one of the fortunate
few admitted into the National University, even ranking high in the entrance examination.
As a scholar, she was able to avail a subsidized room in the school dormitory. It was
probably a tiny pocket of space, so she couldnt afford to bring more than a brown box
that used to hold instant ramen, courtesy of the local grocer, and her roomy, doggy old
school bag. She only packed essentials: required documents, hygiene products, enough
clothes to last a week without laundering, money she had prudently saved throughout the
years.
The room she had grown up in was microscopic, anyway, only big enough to fit
a twin-size four-poster, a narrow study table with its varnish peeling off, and an antique
dresser. Her old text books and notes were all stacked neatly under the bed, from middle
to high school, available should she need them again. She planned to visit home often, at
least once a month, so she didnt need to bring everything tomorrow. She didnt need to
transplant her entire life overnight.
There was a respectful knock on her door; her family valued private spaces,
small as they were.
Sakura-chan, her mother said, as if treading carefully. Are you sure you want
to leave tomorrow? I mean, your father can always exchange your ticket for a later date.
Its okay, mom, Sakura said. Daddyll have to pay a surcharge if he does
that. Theres no reason I cant leave tomorrow.
Well understand, you know, her mother insisted. He is your boyfriend.
Oh, he isnt.
Her mom looked puzzled. The Uchiha boy? Mikotos youngest baby?
I only went to prom with him. Im not even sure why he asked me. Sakura
paused. She seemed a tad pensive than usual, but other than that, her face remained
unperturbed. I think it must have been thanks for my help with those trigonometry
questions when we were second years.
But wasnt it him who beat you out of rank number one?
He disliked trig, I think. Something about the cyclic, repetitive nature of
trigonometric functions pissing him off. Ive forgotten. That was last year. I havent
really spoken to him much until he asked me to go to the prom with him a month ago.
Well, you should get some sleep. You dont want to miss your train tomorrow.
That was a recent development. Originally, she was going to travel by bus, a
cheaper alternative that took about seven hours. Yesterday, she begged her parents to let
her go by train instead. There was a huge pile up in the freeway two days ago, and she
didnt feel like going through that same path. The person reportedly responsible for the
crash had been airlifted to Metro-Sound General Hospital in the nearest city. The last
they heard, he was still fighting for his life.
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2008, summer
. . . As were both lying here, theres so many things I want to say. I would
always
Sakura stopped abruptly and listened with a slight frown. She had been singing
with the radio, facing the window, so it wouldnt be obvious, in case her companioned
glanced off the road and at her, hoping the music was loud enough to drown out her
wavering, impotent voice. There was a lower register that was dueting with her, and it
didnt sound anything like Peter Cetera.
Are you singing? she asked incredulously, unable to catch herself beforehand.
Sasuke continued to drive, to stare at the winding expanse of asphalt before him.
NNot that theres anything, anything, wrong with singing. I mean. I mean, its
you. . . singing. But people sing all the time and, and my outburst was totally unwarranted
and
. . .
Sakura stopped her mouth, bitting down on her lower lip to keep from speaking
on. She remained quiet for a time, unsure whether she had caused offenseit was an
easy thing to do to her prickly companion. Sasuke resumed his indistinct humming half
that time.
Im sorry, Sakura was finally able to stammer. If I unwittingly embarrassed
you for pointing that out. I mean, if I sing loudly then you wont be able to hear yourself,
anymore. So you can keep on singing and pretend I dont know youre singing . . . But
that would be ridiculous, wouldnt it?
I dont have any problems hearing myself sing, came the blase response.
Rather stunned, Sakura took a moment before she quipped her approval.
Neither do I! she announced cheerfully, before hurling herself back into song. I am a
man who will fight for your honor
Ive always thought you the shower diva type.
And Ill be the herohey!
He finished the line she indignantly left hanging, picking up the song easily. His
singing voice was deeper and smoother than his speaking one, yet clearer and lighter,
floating easily to steep their enclosed space.
Were gonna live forever, knowing together that we did it all for the glory
of love.
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You sing pretty well for a man whom people largely thought of as mute,
Sakura commented, regaining some of her spunk.
So do you, for a woman who use to squawk Class 3-A into submission.
I resent that! Those squawking skills happened to land me the beach volleyball
captain post in college.
That stoic intimidating mute thing happened to give me the student council
presidency.
Uchiha Sasuke, former class president? Oh, perish the thought! And they say
med students are intolerable when it comes to reliving their glorious undergrad days.
Who said anything about former?
Sakura paused, thoughtful, finally daring to look his direction once again. That
makes sense, I guess. How long did you take a break from school?
Five and a half years, total.
Oh.
Third year in Ami University. Actuarial Science.
Actuarial Science?
You were expecting Ecology? Forestry?
I wasnt expecting anything.
There was another pregnant pause as Sakura cringed, realized she made another
unintentional hit on her companion, waiting to see if he would take offense and kick her
out of the truck.
I am driving, Sasuke reminded her a-matter-of-factly.
The young doctor laughed in spite of herself. Is that a threat?
Your turn.
I have a mean right hook?
Kickboxing. Three golds in regional. Two semi-finals in the nationals, but you
lost both against Rock city.
You keep tabs?
He shrugged with his left shoulder. He had been driving with his right.
. . . Katon University. Doctor of Medicine.
Cum laude, supplied the pale, dark haired man.
National University
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Biophysics, pre-med track. Summa cum laude.
Ah, no. Magna cum laude. I messed up senior year.
She thought she heard him mutter a sorry.
What are you apologizing for? she said smoothly, despite the lump in her
throat. Ino and I hit every club in the City that year. Nothing to do with you, see?
Yamanaka Ino? 3-B?
Same girl. She was in an all-girls school a train ride away from mine, so we
met up downtown almost every Friday night, after we bumped into each other in a
goukon during the beginning of senior year.
Yamanaka, the woman who calls herself your sworn rival?
Shikamaru started going out with a Sand girl he met in National U, Sakura
narrated, as if it explained everything. The three of us were housed in the same
building.
3-D. Nara Shikamaru. Yamanaka hated him.
I thought so, too. Anyway, Ino and I became partners-in-crime after that. Im
not sure if thats when she decided to go to med school. She graduated from Kuni
Medical College. Shes in the same residency program as I am, but eventually she wants
to go into Psychiatry.
And Nara?
Hmm. . . middle management in some international consultancy firm. He got
married last year. I heard hes getting promoted regularly, like clockwork. Inos still not
speaking to him, but his best friend Choujiremember him?sneaks some news past
her once in a while.
. . . Aa.
Sakura somehow felt she needed to defend her friend. Well, its not like he ever
tried speaking to her, she groused.
Sasuke had something else in mind, however. Yamanaka doesnt know about
this then, he said. She would have stopped you.
This? Ah, you mean my meeting you? She obliged to a long-suffering sigh.
She didnt when I left the hospital, but yes, Ill be getting a week-long sermon from her
when I get back. Thank you in advance for the torture.
I found you through her six years ago, Sasuke continued. Drag racing in
South Metro-Sound. She was with one of the competing drivers. And then again, a week
after, in an omiai.
Sakura mulled this over, a small crease forming on her forehead as she did. She
never told me that, she finally said. Though I suppose that explains her vehement
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disapproval of everything relating to you. I guess, she feels responsible about what
happened back then.
Again, the awkward silence came. It stayed longer than Sakura could bear.
Im hungry, she said, unable to think of anything else that could break the
impasse.
His answer was swift. I have food in the back.
Great. She sighed, relieved. Lets stop in that park in Usa Village. You know
the place?
Aa.
2002, summer-fall
Even the nights were still alien to her. She was unused to looking up and seeing
a ghastly luminescence screen over the firmament, the stars rendered as washed-out
stains, the moon. . . was just in its new moon phase, perhaps. She had been living in this
city for over three years now, but she had rarely stayed out this late. The bright lights of
the downtown and the frenetic energy of the people milling about the various
establishments lining the streets painted a vivid, colorful picture, with a cacophonous but
riveting soundtrack. It was rather intimidating.
A hand came down on her shoulder. She started.
If you dont plan on headlining the papers tomorrow, I suggest you pay
attention to where youre walking.
She blinked as the heaviness on her left shoulder fell away to brush subtly down
her back.
A college student hit-and-run by some drunk in downtown Katon city? she
said, shivering in spite of herself. They wouldnt waste two lines on me.
Obsidian orbs trained on her for a few seconds, before their owner took a long
puff from his cigarette and tossed his head in a curt gesture. Novel enough for me, he
said, his eyes remaining cold and humorless.
She looked down and saw the vague ripple of running water in the gaping hole,
centimeters from her high-heeled feet. It was an unsealed manhole, brimming with this
morning rains run off.
Drowning in the city sewers then, she said. Thats more like it.
Give me your hand.
Huh?
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So we dont get separated.
Oh.
He took her by the forearm and continued walking, guiding her around the
opening. She followed him wordlessly, slightly disoriented. It wasnt even from alcohol,
though she had consumed tonight more than she ever had. It was everything, him, her, the
oblivion of disco lights and the relentless brassy heartbeat of the club still echoing in her
head.
Uchiha Sasuke could dance.
Sakura had finished the last of her entrance exams today (or rather, yesterday),
and an old schoolmate decided to take her downtown for a few drinks. Yamanaka Ino
was a hard woman to refuse and Sakura was curious about the more exciting aspects of
college lifeshe was a senior this year, after all, had been in college for three years.
The clubs were packed, and they were supposedly lucky to share a table with a
dark, unfriendly creature brooding in one corner of the samba club. They didnt talk
much, aside from the preliminary pleasantries that was required of people who had come
from the same town and had gone to the same high school accidentally bumping into
each other. Then, randomly irrational things started happening, like Ino-san getting into a
fist fight with her classmate and childhood friend Nara Shikamaru, who was staying in
the same apartment building as Sakura and just happened to be there. And Uchiha-san
asking her to dance was unreal. The Uchiha Sasuke she remembered barely even
socialized in school, and she had to sit out the prom because he refused to do anything
but stare into space. Whether it was the strobe lights or the repetitive beats that did it,
before she knew what was really happening, it was four in the morning and they were
being ushered out of the club.
Wheres Ino-san? she had yelled over the din, the first words out of her mouth
in hours.
Thrown out with Nara.
When was that?
Midnight.
Ive missed the last train!
Ill get you a cab.
But
He disappeared into the crowd. She was able to catch him, but was hard-pressed
to keep up with his brisk walk and the fluid way people seemed to part from his path. She
could have been invisible to himhe never turned to look at hertill he stopped her
from talking a plunge into that unmarked hole in that street corner.
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Call Yamanaka again, he commanded after an interminable amount of
walking.
Once again, she used his phone to call hers, which was in her purse, left behind
with Ino for safe-keeping after Sakura dazedly scrambled after Sasuke to the dance floor
four hours ago. There was still no answer.
I have a make-up exam later, Sakura said glumly.
Sasuke didnt say anything, but once again took her by the forearm.
Where are we going?
Theres a cheap motel three blocks down.
What?
Youll need sleep.
. . . I suppose.
Well split the bill.
Because they were splitting the bill, Sakura insisted they split the bed, as well.
Sasuke neither complained nor protested, had plunked down fully dressed on the queen-
sized four-poster, and promptly fell asleep. Though bone-tired and inebriated, Sakura
took a while longer to do the same. When she woke up the next day, her companion was
gone. A polite note said he would get her half of the payment the next time they bump
into each other in downtown Katon.
True enough, her phone rang the following Friday, with a call from an
unfamiliar number.
Meet me in Club Mandala.
Huh, was once again her eloquent reply.
Youre in Charcoal Street? You may bring Yamanaka with you.
Ino didnt seem surprised by the phone call. She needed a companion while she
danced the bile out of her system and had dragged Sakura with her to go clubbing once
again. Sakura, done with the graduate school entrance exams and catching up with her
school work, saw no reason to decline. Besides, Ino needed a leash of sorts to keep her
from possibly maiming another person that night; Sakura felt personally responsible,
since she didnt do anything last time.
Uchiha Sasuke would have been unrecognizable to their high school mates.
From afar, under the dizzying shift of the multi-colored lights, he seemed urbane, cool,
leaning against the bar while swirling an old-fashioned glass. His dark-hued dress shirt
was sleek, emphasizing his form in the right places, leaving more tantalizing details to the
imagination. His jeans was unexpectedly and un-apologetically tight. His black hair was
swept back, perhaps with a generous amount of sculpting gel. When he turned to say
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something to one of the women beside him, he seemed charming and personable. Sakura
found it odious.
Ino-san. She attempted to yank her friend away. This isnt a good idea.
Why not? the blonde demanded. Did something happen last time?
Nothing happened, was her quick response. I just cant think of any reasons
why he would call us here. Its suspicious.
Like, hes with the Yakuza and he plans to sell our kidney to the black market
and the rest of us as sex slaves?
Sakura laughed weakly.
His familys pretty well off, you know. Plus, theyre all dead. Its not that
strange. The whole setup smells of pampered, rich boy needing somebody to assuage his
loneliness.
Assuage? But he was never like that back in Konoha, was he?
Oh, yeah. I forgot you two went out.
We didnt, Sakura asserted for what she felt as the hundredth time. He asked
me to prom because it would be notable for the valedictorian to not have a date, and he
didnt want to deal with the annoying questions. I was sitting next to him during the
graduation ceremony practices, so he thought it convenient to ask me.
He told you that?
He wouldnt have wasted saliva to do so. It was easy to figure out.
He still called you.
I was wondering about that. Sakura frowned. We didnt exchange numbers.
You used his phone to call yours, remember? Whats wrong with your brain
today, forehead-girl?
I say, we just leave, she insisted stubbornly.
I think he likes you.
He barely said two words to me last week.
You owe him money.
. . . Damn it.
Just give the guy a chance. He shouldnt be as creepy once you get to know
him. Plus, hes hotter than ever.
Are you trying to ditch me again after you dragged me to come here?
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Why, Sakura-chan! How long have you harbored such unflattering thoughts
about me?
Since you dunked my sneakers in that clogged toilet in the third floor girls
restroom?
That was in eighth grade, darling. Get over it.
Like previously, Sasuke exchanged the barest of pleasantries with them and
spent the most of the time drinking silently while the girls talked or danced. He danced
with them, twice each. He was polite but taciturn, bearing no trace of the suave, unctuous
creature Sakura had earlier sighted from across the room.
When she tried to give him her share of the bill from last week, he refused to
take it.
But you said wed split it.
He nodded, noncommital.
I dont want to owe you money.
Then hold on to it for now.
They met again, several times in this manner, with Sasuke giving her a meeting
time and place, sometimes to dance, mostly to drink. Sakura remained prudent, of course,
and kept track of both their alcohol consumption. They barely finish two bottles of beer
apiece in a four-hour period, so the reason for their meetings continued to baffle her. He
never took back the money she was holding for him, so she stopped offering it back at
some point.
Eventually, she mustered enough gall to ask him whether they could be
considered going out.
If you want to.
The vague answer irritated her. Are you asking me to, Uchiha-san? she asked.
If it would keep you from choking on that Uchiha-san, thats fine.
I dont understand, Sasuke-kun, she said testily, mocking the way Sasuke was
referred to in primary school.
I dont care. Youre the one who feels the need to catagorize this.
This eventually expanded to include long, silent walks in a park nearby both
their schools, studying for hours in the city library, and coffee/tea at random times every
few days. Even though the definition of their relationship continued to elude her, Sakura
eventually did find out more information about her reticent, old school mate.
Sasuke was studying engineering at the prestigious private university of
Colubra. He was delayed some years due to a car accident, as his injuries required
months of physical therapy and rehabilitation. He was minimally involved in his familys
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business, Antigone Logging, and was only consulted for major decisions as a formality.
He subsisted through a trust fund his older brother had set up a few months before he
died from the same vehicular collision. Sasuke sustained chronic back pain from that
accident, which made it difficult for him to concentrate on studying, most days. He
usually stared at passing people, while Sakura talked through her copious lecture notes
and book annotations.
It took Sakura close to two months to collate that much information about him.
It was mostly her who spoke when they were together. She talked about herself, her
experiences, even her aspirations when she thought him particularly distant and less
likely to respond. She talked about news from Konoha and the people they had gone to
school with. He didnt seem to mind, and the amount of words he returned, sparse as they
were, were more than he ever deigned to waste on her all those years they were
schoolmates back in Konoha.
Now, about dancing. . .
Dancing was strange. Neither of them were particularly good at it, and most of
the dancing they did constituted of vague rhythmic movements made in time with the
music. She was more liable to get drunk in the energy, the heat of a packed dance floor,
than the drink she would buy herself. Her cheeks flushed, her breathing and heartbeat
racing with each other, she laughed often, knowing she was neither graceful nor
enchanting, but wallowing in the happiness that she didnt care. He may have felt the
same, as she had sighted the rare smiles that actually reached his eyes while in that tangle
of people. He even held her by her hand sometimes, though he kept a respectful distance
between them, even in the one or two slow dance they didnt manage to escape. Sakura
lost track of time during these dances, but he made sure she never missed her ride home.
He always roused her from her pleasing delirium, just in time to catch the last train.
It was two in the morning when they stepped out of Club Mandala, some months
after their first arranged meeting there.
I missed the train, Sakura said, not particularly upset about it. What do you
want to do till dawn? Walk around?
I have a 2DK condo unit two blocks down, Sasuke said.
Since when?
My parents used to stay in it when they had business here in Katon.
If Sakura remembered the town gossip correctly, his parents had been dead for
at least fifteen years.
Why did we go to that motel then? she asked curiously. She didnt press when
he didnt answer.
The streets werent as crowded as it was that first night, so they walked in their
usual manner. Sasuke had a hand stuffed in a pocket, while Sakura trailed behind a few
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steps, mostly avoiding the smoke slithering from the lighted cigarette he had in his other
hand.
He led her to a sky-rise among buildings with opulent facades, the type shed
dared not enter by herself, the type that had more elevators than necessary and straight-
faced, uniformed guards that sat behind luxurious marble desks. Sasuke plugged a code
into the panel and the sliding doors opened to take them in. The guard bowed familiarly
to Sasuke, so he must have been there often enough to be easily remembered.
The unit he led her to was plain and simply decorated; she would have called it
spartan, but there was a hint of feminine taste in the slim, modern furnishings and the
watercolor paintings that adorned the walls. Sasuke led her directly to what must have
been his room and proceeded to undress her. His advance was without preamble and so
startled her, but he hushed her protest with a finger to her lips, damp still from when he
washed his hands after using the toilet, and she stumbled after him when he beckoned
from his bed, not dazed but hyperalert. Their naked bodies were silver fish in a black
ocean of satin, their movements illuminated by the trickle of city lights, the shift of
shadows telltale.
She awoke, hours later, drowning in the heavy down comforter. The world
outside bore traces of the coming dawn, and the details of the room was now visible
enough, the darkness tinged with gray. It was as minimally furnished as the rest of what
she saw of the apartment. Her clothes were draped over a wooden chair, while his were
nowhere in sight. She wrapped herself with a sheet from the tangle in his bed, and padded
about the room softly, calling his name in a timid whisper, just in case.
She found him slouched on his leather couch outside, his shirt on the floor, his
jeans unbuttoned and riding low to emphasize the easy path down his groin, as if stopped
in the process of being pulled up. She stopped some distance away and merely watched.
If he was awake, he would speak to her; if he wasnt she would leave him alone
undisturbed.
Moments later, it came to her why his naked chest seemed so much like a stone
bust in some museum: he wasnt breathing.
She shook him, hard; he didnt wake. She felt for his pulse; it was thready and
weak, not like the furious gallop she felt while underneath him earlier that morning. Was
it fortuitous that she knew he always kept his cellphone on his left hip pocket? Or that she
has received CPR training only a week ago and could therefore still remember word for
word the algorithm that could save his life?
Uchiha Sasuke, July 23, 1980, she answered the paramedics inquiries. He
had a car accident four years ago. His back still hurts a lot from it. I dont know anything
else.
She followed him to the hospital on foot, because she didnt have a car and the
train was starting to get busy with the daily commuters. She stayed in the hospital as he
was resuscitated and given antidotes, as he was brought to a room for observation,
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because there was noone else she knew to call about himbut he couldnt have
absolutely noone, could he? She had to go home to the dormitory briefly, however,
because she had a life that couldnt be just put on hold at a moments notice, and there
were things to manage and settle, and she hadnt slept for forty-eight hours. When she
came back the next day, he had already been discharged.
They had been meeting over a span of about eleven weeks. It took her six
months to stop looking. It took her years to stop wondering. At some point, she placed
the fifteen-thousand yen in an envelope and left it at the front desk of the condominium.
2008, summer
"That should be a nice spot."
". . ."
"See that tree? It has wide-spanning branches and its leaves are translucent. It'll
be pretty under it, and it won't be too hot."
"Aa."
"How's this spot?"
"Knobby."
"Knobby? How about there, then?"
"Damp."
"You are such a prima donna!"
"Hand me the basket."
"What's in the. . . Oh! That's nice. Somehow you just don't seem to be the white-
and-corn-blue checkered type. Who lost that blanket?"
"Kakashi."
"Kakashi? Hakate Kakashi-sensei, Konoha High's principal?"
"Same jackass."
"He made the food, too? How impressive."
"I did."
". . . I suppose that makes sense, since you practically lived alone for years in
that big house. This basket is really pretty, by the way."
"It was forced on me by said jackass."
"Oooh, wine. What's this, chablis?"
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"Straight from a dead person's reserve."
"Your dad?"
"My brother. Otousan was a sake fan."
Sake, huh? Oh! The blue of your plastic cups matches that of the blanket. How
cute! Let me guess: Kakashi-sensei again?
Hn.
Should I pour for you? Ah, but youre driving
One cup of wine wouldnt incapacitate me. We can stay here for as long as you
want, till youre satisfied Im sober.
Fair enough. Ah, thats enough wine for me. That way I can relieve you when
you get tired. Its about four more hours to Konoha town, ne?
Aa.
. . .
. . .
Now that we have a smidgeon of alcohol in our systems, how have you been,
Sasuke?
I already answered that question.
Well, yes, but a little more detail wouldnt hurt.
Same with you. Youre doing your residency?
Yes. I have one more year before I finish.
Then? Youll stay in Katon city?
Hm. . . I dont know. Ive always dreamed of going back to Konoha town and
opening a clinic, taking care of the locals, watching over everyone as they grow up and
age. Now, Im thinking I should stay in Umiushi Medical Centerhmm, the teka-makis
excellent! My tongues on fire. Ahh!
Its water.
Oh. . . . Oh. Of course, if I had gulped down the wine, a fine conversation wed
be having now. Ah, thats good! Anyway, I think I should stay in Umiushi Medical
Center and gain some more experience, maybe go for fellowship and further
specialization. I dont know yet.
Fellowship?
Uh-huh. Im thinking Geriatrics. I became a doctor because of my grandfather,
you know, years and years ago.
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Aa.
He died three years ago in his sleep.
I see.
You know, the kushi dango isnt bad at all. Id like it sweeter though. Anyway,
I think Endocrinology is pretty engaging, too. The little I saw of it during rotation was
pretty challenging. Who knows? Umiushi Medical Center wasnt my first choice,
actually. I wanted to go to a community hospital, like Konoha Hospital. But its fine since
Ino-chan is there.
You were saying Yamanaka never forgave Nara?
Well, Ino-chan hasnt spoken to Shikamaru for years. But she told me once. . . I
guess, its okay to tell you. She told me that after she found out from Chouji that
Shikamaru really loved his wife, she wasnt as angry anymore. Something about knowing
she lost fair and square against just another woman, an equal.
So Nara did marry the princess of the Kuni Financial Group.
Yeah, I guess, Ino-chan was prepared to think the worst of Shikamaru, even
marrying as a tactical business move. Oh, well.
Yamanaka doesnt forgive easily.
Not really, I suppose. Ahaha! Not with men, at least.
Ive never done anything to her.
Well, she can get very protective of friends. For example, one of our
colleagues, Hinata-chan, is the cousin of a famous plastic surgeon in Fugu Trauma
Center. The Hyuuga is this affluent family of doctors based in Fugu City, so Neji-san can
really get on Hinata-chans case because shes supposed to be not performing as well as
they want her to. I kid you not, Ino almost came to blows with him one time when we
were interns. Good thing, Neji-sans wife is one tough ladyand was one of our seniors.
She literally kicked her husband out of our apartment (the four of us are sharing a unit). It
was both scary and entertaining to watch, actually. Ino-chan and Tenten-chan together
can get pretty scary, period.
Yamanaka hates me.
Hates a very strong word, but Im afraid its applicable this instant.
Then I hurt you more than you let on.
. . . I suppose so.
. . .
So when are we going to talk about you?
. . .
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I gave a fair of amount of details there. Shouldnt it be your turn?
. . . Aa.
How did you end up being in close terms with Kakashi-sensei? I vaguely
remember you having pretty much nothing but contempt for our teachers in Konoha
High.
I lived in his place for a time, when I didnt have a place to live in.
O-oh. Sort of like Naruto living with Iruka-sensei in middle and high school.
You remember Naruto, right?
Kakashi and Iruka share a government subsidized housing for educators.
You mean, you lived with all three of them. But. . . Naruto hated you.
Hates me. An affectation.
You mean, he actually looks upon you as a brother, dont you?
Its not funny.
No? Its pretty cute, actually. Four bachelors in a house. It must have been
stinky!
It was a temporary arrangement.
Aww. . . you dont have to minimize their importance to you. So when did you
resume school?
Three years ago.
What did you do during that long break?
Took odd jobs. Most of them were legitimate.
O-Oh.
Contrary to popular belief, Ive never been involved with the Yakuza.
Ahahaha! Really now?
Ive never intentionally killed anybody.
. . . Is that so? W-What happened to your trust fund?
I could hardly use that to buy back majority of the shares of Antigone Loggings
from a distant family branch.
So the rumors all those years ago about an Uchiha clan feud was true?
Partially.
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Hmm. . . So it took you also about three years to regain control of your
familys business. Thats sounds pretty impressive. Of course, I dont know much about
business. Speaking of which, you did stop school six years ago, right? That time?
That time I overdosed on heroin? I stopped going to school some time before
that.
Heroin, was it? In retrospect, it makes perfect sense. You were already on
narcotic pills for your back pain. We drank more than usual that night. And you cap it off
with heroin. It was luck I found you unconscious and not yet dead. How long were you
on it?
The first and only time I used it.
. . .Wow. Was I that horrible in bed?
. . .
I meanIf, if you hated it so much that you needed to get high afterwards. . .
Sakura.
I know, I know. Lame attempt at joking. You have chronic back pain. Im
guessing the pills werent working, anymore.
Nothings wrong with my back.
Nothing. . .?
It wasnt my back.
Not your back, huh? What was wrong then?
A number of things. I was in pain.
You were in pain, but of course, it wasnt your back. How stupid of me. You
wouldnt have been able to do it for hours on end, would you?
. . .
Why did you bring me to your parents condo unit that night?
To exorcize the pain. It didnt work. Neither did heroin. Isnt it supposed to be
a very potent drug?
Yes. Yes it is. So I wasnt any help to you at all. Those months you kept seeing
me?
You were worse than the pills. Your presence was a sickeningly intoxicating,
but it was never enough. One day, the sound of your babbling voice was enough to ease
the pain, the next it wasnt.
You developed a tolerance for me?
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When you werent around, the whiplash was unbelievably potent. It came to
the point where even you werent enough.
. . . Why me?
Dont know.
Since when?
A long time. Even before the accident. Who knows? I told you I met Yamanaka
at a matchmaking meeting that year.
We were twenty-two then. You were looking for a wife that early?
Conditions that came with my inheritance. Thats how I got hooked on you.
Ino-chan set us up that night in Club Mandala?
Aa.
So thats why she feels so responsible about you.
. . .
You werent the only one hooked, you know.
. . . Aa. I fully intended to sleep with you that night, when I brought you to that
hotel.
Eh? But you didnt even come on to
I couldnt get it up.
. . . Geeze, you dont have to be that honest.
Isnt that part of your conditions for agreeing to meet me like this?
Well, yes, but I hardly expected you to be so forthcoming. Ugh! My cheeks are
going to be permanently dyed red.
. . .
So howd you stop? With the pills, I mean.
Cold turkey.
Then you did the same with me. So thats why you disappeared.
I didnt. You just couldnt find me.
That was. . . That was callous of you. It was a perfectly asinine thing to do. Do
you realize that?
Aa.
You should know, I walked the entirety of Charcoal Street every weekend for
that entire winter. And it was a horrible La Nia year, too.
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Aa.
H-Hows your pain now?
Better. I visited my parents and my brothers grave twice already.
T-thats nice.
. . . You can cry, if you want to.
I dont need your permission to do so. And you most certainly dont need
mine.
. . .
. . .
. . .
. . . Ah, we shouldnt
But you dont dislike it.
Of course, I dont dislike it. Havent we established that already?
Thenshut up.
. . .
. . .
A-Anything below the jaw-line is considered hanky-panky. And dont leave
marks.
Remind me with your fist, if I cross the line.
R-Right. Ill give you that right hook I gave you last month for s-seducing me.
The one you wanted to give me but didnt?
Same difference.
Done deal.
1998, winter
High school was over and done with; he didnt feel particularly sad or
sentimental during the closing ceremony. His valedictory speech was brief and formal,
hitting all the points he was expected to cover. His brother was his lone guest, now sitting
in the gym bleachers with a serene expression on his face, his tailored suit unexpectedly
elegant against the polished wood of his rickety seat.
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Congratulations, Sasuke-san, he said seriously, as he rose to meet his
approaching brother.
It is only as father would expect it, came the dismissive reply.
Perhaps. The older man smiled briefly. Should we dine out tonight?
Lunch.
If thats more convenient for you. . .
Apologies for the inconvenience, oniisama.
Not at all. Its easily arranged.
Perhaps, it was so, for Uchiha Itachi. The president of Antigone Logging was
known to be a genteel, albeit reticent, young man in the small town he still called home.
He was merely part of a huge conglomerate that monopolized many commodities in the
eastern countries. Echoes of his aggressive and highly successful maneuvers in the
business world filtered slowly as hearsay and gossip among their neighbors. Sasuke paid
little attention to these stories, as he had little knowledge of his brothers activities, with
little desire to involve himself in them.
What business do you have this evening, if I may ask, Sasuke-san?
Prom.
Ah, I remember now. Its tradition to hold a formal dance for the seniors after
the closing ceremony.
Tradition was something the brothers were both well-versed with. Virtually
every aspect of their daily lives revolved around it. Family decision were reached by
referring to what has always been done, especially after they were orphaned. This was
how Sasuke was raised to become the perfect Uchiha.
Are you escorting some young lady to this event, as customary?
The salutatorian.
A pretty little thing thatll bruise easily. Rather fragile, dont you think?
Does it matter?
I suppose not. Itachi conceded. You know as well as I do that our family
requires women of steel as matriarchs.
Sasuke couldnt recall her mother to be as cold and metallic as his brother
seemed to often imply. He didnt retort to Itachis insinuations, however. His brother
wasnt baiting him. It was a fair reminder of his duties.
Shes not a marriage prospect, oniisama, Sasuke replied candidly. It would
be convenient, however, if they didnt have to have this yearly exercise of excess.
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Now, now, little brother. You know we must keep up appearances. Who
knows? You might actually have fun.
Fun? Did this stoic, thirty-year old accused corporate raider truly toss the word,
fun, at him? Sasuke glanced up when he thought he heard a sigh, but his brother was
merely glowering at a fistful of documents, distracted. It must have been a poor attempt
at sarcasm. Perhaps, Itachi really was in a celebratory sort of mood.
Uchiha didnt play around with women, be they barflies or schoolmates. Uchiha
most certainly didnt have fun in that sense of the word, or in any other sense for that
matter. He neither expected nor wanted it from his last responsibility in high school.
School had always been tedious, but he always exerted enough effort to excel and stand
out in its every aspect, even social obligations. The prom was no different.
At any rate, his date wasnt the sort of person you can have the sort of fun his
older brother seemed to be suggesting. Sasuke wasnt even sure she was going to show,
at first, but later decided she was going to come no matter what. She was the type who
took things seriously, especially when it involved her word being given to another
person. All the same, he felt a shadow of satisfaction when he sighted the familiar
quizzical crease in between her brows.
He didnt choose her for her looks; that enough was apparent. She was one of
the plainest attired girls in the gathering, and that was saying something in drab, ordinary
Konoha. It was a short, sheath-like dress in low-grade satin, a poor attempt to match the
color of her eyes. Her knees were knobbly, even though she wasnt nearly tall enough to
be called lanky, just too skinny. The way her shoulders drooped was unflattering, a bad
habit she needed to break. The simple knot her baby-fine hair was gathered into suited
her well, however, and her half-hearted attempt at make-up wasnt very visible under the
dim lighting.
All in all, she was presentable enough.
Uchiha-san, she exclaimed upon sighting him, attempting to jog his way. She
stumbled, unused to the modest height added by her heels. You made it.
She didnt sound like she was surprised. Nor did she sound particularly satisfied
about it. It was simply a statement of fact to fill the lines with conversation, to hide her
feelings of awkwardness, perhaps even inadequacy.
He nodded to acknowledge her and led the way to the space reserved for them,
two plastic chairs in a folding table for eight, made presentable by a heavy white table
cloth and an arrangement of common flowers. She followed behind him, a staccato of
hesitant steps. He drew the chair for her, all manners, and never spoke to her till dinner
was served.
She knew, of course, that he chose her out of convenience. She was smarter and
more sensible than most people her age. Haruno Sakura was okay, he supposed. She was
annoying, like all of the other girls while they were growing up, but she somehow
mellowed out and become more tolerable, more sexless, by the time they hit high school.
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He saw her often because they were in the same class, were both in the student council,
and were often sent to the same academic competitions. One could say he had gotten used
to her half-questioning, half-expectant presence. He tolerated her because she didnt try
to ingratiate herself into his personal space, even though she did act like he was a
packaged bomb that could detonate unexpectedly.
So, yes, she still irritated him, but it was to a slightly lesser degree than most
people did.
She picked on her food and said something inconsequential about the dinner.
His absent reply was equally inconsequential. It was a serviceable meal, nothing special.
She then asked him something, some inane question that warranted no sensible answer.
He ignored it, so she turned her unfaltering smile to the couple beside them, engaging in a
chirping conversation that grated on his head, some exchange of useless information and
idealistic notions.
Ive always wanted to be a doctor. He had no choice but to hear her; he didnt
think the effort of shutting her voice out was worth the trouble. Ive always wanted to
help people, and I guess, sick ones are the most obvious ones that could use some help. I
wasnt a very imaginative child, see.
Sakura laughed, as if finding this very amusing. So she didnt allude her habit of
talking to herself to a fertile imagination, he thought ironically. She must either think it
normal or simply thought of herself as just plain crazy.
Truth be told, Im terrified, she continued, in answer to some question he
didnt bother straining for. Ive only been out of Konoha town about five times, and
mostly just to Kuni city. Were talking about the National University here. Im sure itll
be utter culture shock for me, tiny pond fish into a teeming ocean. Ill probably have to
study like crazy to be able to cope up with the course requirements and such.
Her conversation partner merely dismissed her fears, piling flattering platitudes
unto her instead. She smiled sweetly, unconvinced, but allowing herself to be comforted.
Sasuke could almost hear her mentally cursing the unwitting callousness of the replies.
He knew well the spitfire behind the amiable mask she wore, having heard her rant
countless of times about the stupidity, flightiness, and other unsavory characteristics of
people in general. She thought no one was watching.
Well, he wasnt watching her. He wasnt following her around due to some
misdirected interest. She simply happened to be in many of the places he frequented: the
library, the big tree behind the gymnasium, the terrace on the second floor, the rooftop of
the school building annex. It wasnt deliberate, and often she was an unwanted
distraction. It had nothing to do with her confession back in seventh grade or that she
somehow single-handedly taught him high school trigonometry because he found the
actual class so repugnant and had tuned out the teacher most days. (Trigonometry was a
farce. It was contriving bullshit to justify more bullshit. Ironically, he had gotten pretty
good at it, as with a lot of things. After she patiently sat through him gnashing his teeth,
that was.)
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Her constant cheerfulness was so damned infuriating, he supposed, that he had
actually taken to waiting for her veneer of good nature to fail. Somehow it became a
habit, a part of his everyday environment. Like picking at a scab, it started to sting when
he kept at it long enough. Like any other dumb animal, he kept at it, anyway.
They sat at that lopsided table for the duration of the evening. The music was
too loud to start any sort of conversation that didnt involve shouting and he wasnt
inclined to waste saliva on small talk. She didnt show any signs of wanting to dance, and
he doubted she knew how to, so he didnt ask her. He had been taught a number of folk
and formal dances as a child, of course, but gentlemen werent worth squat those days. It
didnt matter.
She must have fallen asleep at some point, because a sudden jolt from some
mindless bovine rushing to join some para para dance sent her temple bouncing against
his. He caught her before she slammed an eye into his shoulder, and lowered her on head
on the table. He didnt bother waking her till the last dance was playing.
Were here.
She lifted her head and managed to cast an inquiring look through her swollen
eyes.
The end.
She stared at him like he was some unwanted street oracle, ambushing her with
a vision so enticing she had to force disbelief.
Are you daft?
No, she said, now awake. Just sleepy.
He turned and began walking away, choosing a path that didnt require him to
cut through the makeshift dance floor. When he didnt hear her uneven steps after the
initial screech of the chair being pushed back, he stopped to deliver an impatient look her
way.
Ah. She seemed to realize her gaucherie and had straightened her hunched
shoulders. Thank you for waking me up. Good night, Uchiha-san, and good luck with
your college plans.
College plans? He couldnt afford her cute little college plans, shocking to say.
His life was minutely blueprinted from birth, and he expended his available time
managing his way through it in ways that exceeded everyones expectations. His
decisions affected a family, a company, a town. . . Wishing him good luck on his college
plans was like asking for some undelineated area of the world to get screw over.
Good luck with life, didnt have the same tenor.
Im walking home with Chouji and Shino, she ventured when he didnt
answer her. We live nearby. Just a few blocks down the road.
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That may be, but things werent so conveniently placed for him. There were
certain modes of behavior drilled into his system and one of them was to be exactingly
polite to females, no matter how exasperating they get. He wasnt about to let a girl walk
home at that time of night when he had a perfectly operable vehicle at his disposal.
This is your graduation gift? Sakura asked, staring at the unfamiliar fierceness
of his European grand tourer. She probably had no clue what name to call it.
A mere necessity, he answered glibly, though in truth, even his brother
wouldnt so casually drop millions of yen for such a flashy car. It was from their uncle, a
reclusive man Sasuke knew little about and had little interest in knowing. A thank you
was properly polite, however, so Sasuke had consented to a meeting with this obscure
relative within the week.
Sakura seemed to take his casual dismissal in stride and silently sank into the
front seat, murmuring thanks to him for holding the door open. Nothing remarkable
happened during their mostly silent trip. He dropped her off her home and watched her
enter her home from inside his car. Her mother and father greeted her at the door. Sasuke
nodded to them politely, then left.
He forgot about that night till weeks later, while he lay dying on a the massive
five-lane freeway that connected Katon city with the western countries of the continent.
The mind was a very strange thing, for it was that nights conversation that played over
and over his mind, hypnotic as the flashing lights of the rescue vehicles racing to scrape
his mess before it completely coagulated on the asphalt, doggedly continuing even into
the long, gray interim that followed.
You never answered my question about your plans, she said, breaking the
silence in the tiny cabin of the Italian car. I heard youre going to a private university,
but thats about it.
Aa.
May I ask what youre taking up?
Chemical engineering and business administration.
Now, wasnt that eas
I have no plans, he interrupted, as he parked in front of her house.
But
I havent the luxury of choice, he said. Even second sons of the Uchiha
forfeit that right.
She looked at him from the shadows, a curious expression on her face. A shaft
of moonlight slashed across her face, touching on one vividly pale eye, an even paler
cheek, and the top of one breast. She seemed as vulnerable as his brother had carelessly
noted earlier that day, her bare shoulders hunched into a protective gesture, a pretty little
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inconsequential weed bending against the wind. Was she pitying him? He wanted to
crush her in his hands, bruise and break her, pity her.
Were here, he said, his voice devoid of the violence he wished upon her.
Uchiha-san, dont you dream?
Delusions are easy to relinquish when one has everything.
But you yourself admit that it is a right you are giving up.
Good night, Haruno.
She got out of the car, but left the door ajar for uncounted moments. . . . Then
this is goodbye, too, Uchiha-san, she finally said. If we bump into each other in Katon
city, dont be a stranger. Sweet dreams.
He didnt know whether that was meant to be some curse, for she haunted his
dreams thereafter. It was only after he awakened from days of semi-consciousness that
her hateful pity was supplanted by the horror of reality. A tube running down his nasal
passage and into his throat that seared his insides with each swallow, an elastic velcro
binder keeping the contents of his belly in place, and the tubes taped to his arms, to his
chest, were only some of the things that kept still when he woke enough to respond to the
need,
the sharp, potent desire to have her pale skin bruising under his fingers, her
green eyes wide with disbelief, fear, a certain compulsion that froze her like a startled
beast, stark against the dark, the moonlight, the aromatic new leather seats. . .
But the permanent blanket of dull pain killed whatever perversion was forming
in his mind, and the cresting of sheer agony when he tried to move seared his brain to
unbelievable clarity.
His brother was dead.
It was the only time he had ever willfully disobeyed his brother. He was on his
way to Metro-Sound, to meet with this uncle of theirs. Itachi had called to forbade it, and
Sasuke was suddenly filled with an inexplicable exasperation with the ridiculousness of
it. Like that stupid girl Haruno said. Like what he said to her. He hadnt the luxury of a
choice, even with things as simple and stupid as visiting a little known relative, who gave
him a sports car on his birthday. It was stupid! When did he ever tolerate stupidity, even
from his wonderful, perfect brother?
His brother was never stupid.
It was a first.
Apparently, he was stupid, too, made stupid by that irrational rage. He was
driving fast, pushing the unnecessarily powerful GT engine to the heights it was made
for. There was a thunderstorm, after weeks of no rain, and the roads were perilous, made
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slippery by more than water. When he discovered his brothers car bearing down on him
from his rear view mirror, he drove even faster.
Crashed against. Couldnt remember.
Uchiha Itachi died at the scene, from a hemorrhaging liver and a flying piece of
metal that pierced a lung. Magically, dramatically, he was able to yank his stupid little
brother from his fancy wheels before it exploded into flames. Being the great big brother
that he was, he didnt leave Sasuke without words of wisdom.
Now, wasnt that fun, Sasuke-chan?
Thereafter, Sasuke always made sure it was.
When he made it out of the hospital, even though he actually survived what they
didnt, he did the same thing his parents did, when he was seven years old:
He just never went home.
2008, winter
The old dormitory had its share of ghosts, of course, but she apparently didnt
have the gift to sense them, for she had never encountered anything remotely
supernatural. Indeed, the concrete walls exuded a certain dullness that made her half-wish
something would happen. It could get abysmally cold in mornings though, especially
when it was Ino who had spent the night by herself. Yuki-Ino they called her, for she
luxuriated in turning the thermostat to freezing and snuggling under piles of blankets.
Sakuras ruminations were interrupted by three solid knocks on the door. She
had no idea who could be visiting at eight in the morningno one pleasant, she thought
dourly. Ino was already in the hospital, unless she forgot something important enough to
bother coming back for. Tenten was due back from a neighboring town today, but not this
early. Hinata was visiting home, but there was a chance she would turn up earlier than
expected and in need of a friends comforting presence.
Dozing off on the sofa had blotted out any inclination to move whatsoever, and
it took great effort to be able to drag herself to the door. She had undone the bolt before
she remembered to peer through the peephole, and she shrank back in terror at the dark
eyes that stared back at her. They were no strangers and it was the familiarity in them
that shook her so. Her shift had been dizzyingly busy, but even exhaustion shouldnt have
addled her brain that much.
She couldnt believe she could have actually forgotten that.
A forty-seven-year-old man with no known medical problems had an
unwitnessed syncope during some business meeting last evening.
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Merger talk, Mr. Yakushi had told her depreciatingly. The company I
represent has quite a bit of a reputation as a. . . hmm, shall we say, a carrion feeder? I was
very nervous in the conference room for a little while there and I had to step out. I dont
know what happened next till I woke up and saw the ceiling of the adjoining pantry. My
boss will want to kill me when he hears about this.
His boss did express such sentiments when Sakura met him outside, but for an
entirely different reason. The man had been looking unwell for sometime, apparently, and
his boss had asked him to see a doctor several times already. The patient had kept
minimizing his growing fatigue.
Boss has a lot going on right now, he confided. Not that Im worried about
losing my job, you know. Boss may not be the friendliest guy in the block, but hes a
pretty decent fellow.
The much-revered boss had turned out to be an old acquaintance of the pretty,
young doctor, much to Mr. Yakushis amusement. Sakura was able to school her face
into a polite smile as she exclaimed over the coincidence of meeting an old schoolmate in
such a place and time. Some good came out of it, for the patient became more agreeable
to staying in the hospital for observation, after his revered boss assured him of her
competence. (As if she needed the endorsement of a sort-of-ex-boyfriend to vouch for the
quality of care of the hospital, not only hers.) At any rate, she was forced to play polite
and spend a ten-minute break with the man, forcing herself in a mind frame where
everything was just nice and peachy and perfectly normal. She wasnt assailed by
reminiscences that twisted daggers in her guts and made her want to hurl the tepid, stale
coffee across the E.R. nurses station. That would have made her unpopular with the
nursing staff, among other things.
At any rate, she had managed to survive the brief meeting without
spontaneously combusting or accusing the man of being a callous, monumentally evil
bastard for never even having the courtesy of hinting that he still lived. In retrospect, she
thought herself awesome for accomplishing such a feat. Such honesty would have
flavored the conversation with too much bitterness. He didnt need to know she spent
years looking, waiting. . .
Another set of knocks brought her back to her senses, though evidently not
completely. Some auto-pilot glitch made her open the door to her unwanted visitor.
Sasuke-san, she croaked, summoning the pleasant-faced mask hastily.
Another surprise?
He looked the same as he did earlier, steeped in a mental exhaustion that echoed
hers. Black leather shoes, creased by years of use, was diligently polished into a
venerable sheen. A pair of gray slacks, toasty, more expensive than her entire meager
wardrobe. His coat, which had formerly kept a foreign ungulate alive up some frigid
mountain, hung open to reveal his loosened tie and a frumpy dress shirt, untucked. The
crimson on white, the white against the dark gray, was familiar to her, had painted
themselves on her mind earlier, occupied as it had been with a sulfurous internal diatribe.
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A remnant of those virulent thoughts bounced sluggishly about her skull. Their general
tone now was a dull ache . . . totally unacceptable, inescapable.
He shook his dark hair from his eyes, a gesture that crossed his line of sight with
hers. The shadows under his lower lids were testaments to the amount of sleep he had
gotten the previous night (perhaps, nights before that), but his eyes were alert, bright,
more alive than she had ever seen them. He was still accursedly handsome for all his
faults. She thought this utterly unfair.
I saw you walking home from the third floor, he said by way of explanation.
Thats called stalking in some circles.
He shook his head imperceptibly. Bad luck. He wanted to know if it was
snowing.
Mine or yours? she murmured ironically. Anyway, I wont offer you any
more coffee
Thats fine. He paused. Are you letting me in?
You can come in, if you want to.
Yes, I know. Yet he stood waiting, watching.
Im not sure you may, she amended. Or should.
You promised another meeting.
I did agree to your promise, didnt I? Lets get it over with.
She let him come and removed a stack of textbooks from one end of the sofa. He
sat and watched her through hooded eyes. Or perhaps that was just the lighting, drab and
minimal, struggling through the closed venetian blind. Nonetheless, she checked to make
sure she was decently dressed and hadnt started peeling of her clothes the moment she
reached home. It wasnt as surreptitious a gesture as she was trying for.
What do you want to talk about? she asked, sitting on a tea-stained ottoman
across from him. You hardly said anything while we were having coffee earlier.
Neither did you.
Stale coffee in the staff break rooms hardly conducive for a closure dialogue.
Besides, Ive never been in there before, except for that one time I begged for crackers
from one of the nurses and I was about to pass out then.
What should we talk about?
Oh, I dont know. She stood up, unable to sit still with his eyes directly on her.
Apologies may be in order, but see, I dont really need them. Ive examined and
analyzed it from every angle, and Ive concluded that theres been a mere
misunderstanding between us, all those years ago. It was an unfortunate but simple
conflict of interest. I admit I still vacillate from this inference once in a while and I still
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chew on this conundrum sometimes, some boring lazy night I dont have anything
scheduledkinda like a rubix cube, only I hate those things, so nobut Ive put it all
behind me. And while it has been proven that I really am horribly unimaginative, a
pathetic mass of neural pathways devoid of anything non-academic, Im glad to learn that
my coping and ego defense mechanisms remain intact. She stopped and took a deep
breath. I cant do this, I dont think. I cant talk. Can we talk some other time?
Im not inclined to talk either, he said, keeping his gaze on her openly.
A sliver of irritation shot through her, but the look she shot him was anxious.
Youve never admitted that, you know, she accused. Watching me, I mean. When I
suggested it, you acted like I was some love-struck ditz, like I was delusional. I thought I
was overly self-conscious.
He nodded, as if in acknowledgment. She didnt know to which part he agreed,
if at all.
I cant do this. Really. Can you leave? Please?
She gestured stiffly to the door. When he didnt stir from the couch, she grabbed
him by the forearm and dislodged the knuckle from underneath his chin. He merely
straightened, shook free from her grip, and took the same hand in his.
This is. . . how should I call it? Retrograde. She stared at him anxiously.
Youve never held my hand, not openly. It was always under the pretense of catching
me from falling into open manholes or keeping me from being swept away by the crowd.
Then afterwards, youd toss it away, like Im venomous.
She tugged at the hand he held. It was half-hearted, but the weak-whiplash still
imbalanced her.
How cliched, she sniffled, though her voice, she had to admit quivered as he
steadied her in his arms and pulled her into sitting position. Whove you been hanging
out with? What happened to cool unromantic Uchiha Sasuke? He was predictable, at
least. He was unfathomable, too, but he was a little less crazier than you.
Shut up, he murmured to her nose, before adjusting his aim. His lips were
cold, wind-burned, and tasted vaguely of salt.
That was our first kiss.
He didnt answer but tried for the second. She pushed him back with a hand on
each arm, her grip tighter than necessary. There was silence while she attempted to
regroup.
I didnt really mind, she finally, carefully said. Whatever the heck it was we
had. She dislodged herself from him and pulled him to a standing position. Ino-chan
told me you were only using me. I was never sure what for, and Ino was never able to get
whatever she wanted to say across without ending up gibbering with rage. I figured I was
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using you, too. You made me feel . . . I dont know. Part of a mysterious, special thing. I
felt singular and unique, a tad less forlorn.
Isnt that weird? Considering how you are you, and all.
Maybe I thought I was saving you. You know how kids develop hero
complexes? Heroine complex in my case.
And the sex wasnt bad. Even though we only did it once. And I dont really
have a basis of comparison, if you have to know.
I do.
Well, shucks, thanks awfully. Too much information. But, hey, Im willing to
forgive, that and the six-year disappearance. Thats what you want to do, right? Go back
to how we were back in college? I dont mind really, but theres just one problem.
Is there? he answered quietly. I thought there was more than one.
This is the most important one, at any rate.
She tucked in the front of his shirt and straightened his tie, as if shes been doing
it all her life. She buttoned his coat up, patted him, and tiptoed slightly to reach his
mouth. When he didnt protest, she deepened the kiss brusquely, then pulled away for a
complete severance.
I dont love you, anymore, Sasuke. Goodbye and thank you for the chance to
say it.
He looked at her for a long time, in his usual undecipherable way, so long that
she thought she might have to give a more potent argument. He nodded, just as she was
about to open her mouth, and made for the door.
Liars know liars, he said, just before the door shut.
She tried to sleep, which should have been easy, but she couldnt. She couldnt
cry to exhaustion either, because her eyes remained dry and open. The process of
mourning had been so long stretched out, so long delayed that she couldnt quite
remember where she had left off. What had covered that truncation, that gaping hole?
Time. The mundane. The wound edges smoothed out, approximated. The infection
remained, of course, abscessed, merely tunneled underneath to remain unseen and
unknown. How could she have known the devastation was this far-reaching? Everybody
had a fling or two. Even her. Why did she have to hurt just because she never admitted
that was what it was?
She stumbled from her bed and went to the door. She opened it to his expectant
eyes. He was sitting beside her door, in the aseptic, fluorescent-white hallway that belied
the passage of time her clocks proclaimed.
Im a liar, too, he said.
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They made love in her bed. For closure, she claimed through hiccoughs. For
salutation, he insisted in turn, and she almost believed it. But then she woke up, just as
the sun was setting, to an empty bed, and her room and apartment the way theyve always
been, dull and devoid. She supposed, she could have gone on thinking it was merely a
dream, that maybe she had accidentally been exposed to some drug earlier, but then
Tenten had confronted her about her visitor.
Youre the last person I expected to break this rule, Sakura, the older woman
chided. I thought No men in the apartment, was pretty clear cut.
Not a man.
Oh?
A phantom.
2008, summer
When he was a boy growing up, was still gullible and easy to please, his mother
sat him on an oddly-situated tree stump on the driveway leading up the hill where their
ancient house perched and told him to stay very still and very quiet. There was hardly any
wind, but there it was, he could hear the murmuring of the trees as they conversed among
themselves. The secret conferences could be heard from any part of Konoha town, he
learned, but then with time, he also learned that the slight wind was created by the
variances in temperature, of shifts in energy whose rules have been deciphered by
science, which was then hammered into his mind in short, simplified tenets by his school
teachers. It was just one of those things mothers told their children to pacify them, like
saying theyll never not come home, or you can attain anything if you want it enough.
Fate had made a liar out of his mother, but that was inevitable, irreversible. So when
Sakura repeated the story of convening trees when they were walking in Katon City Park
one evening, five years ago, he had paid attention. This he told her as they pulled up the
main street of Konoha.
I cant say I remember that, she admitted, squinting as she tried to navigate by
moonlight and the rare street lamp. But those days, I could have told you absolutely
anything and never predict when youll answer. I mean, really answer and start a
discussion of sorts. Like that time I was complaining about how I didnt get to go home
as often as I wanted to. You said you didnt understand what was so appealing about this
static, uninteresting town, that it was all due to some misplaced sentimentality I wanted to
see it again. I wanted to punch your lights out.
I remember that part. I cant remember what made you hellishly pissed.
I was baiting you into convincing me to disregard my extra-co stuff and go
home instead. I wished you had just vaguely nodded the way you usually did.
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It was past midnight, but the earth still emitted the heat it had absorbed that
prolonged day. He could feel it from the open window, in between the cooling wisps of
breezes the silent town sentinels fanned towards them. He wasnt sure where to go, so in
a way, he was glad it was her at the helm. He wasnt sure where she meant to go yet: her
parents house, Kakashi and Irukas orphanage, or the empty Uchiha mansion looming
like a smudge in the horizon.
There was something seductive about conversing with you, she continued.
Kinda like thrill-seeking, like driving buzzed or dancing with a strangernot that Ive
done either, unless dancing with you that first time in Club Mandala counts. Most of the
time, you dont answer. At others, you elicit the strangest reactions from me. I either get
irrationally mad or dizzyingly gratified. Disturbing, at any rate. Whys that you think?
Were going to that house, he said sharply.
Yes, she replied calmly, though she bit her lower lip. Were going to your
house.
He stilled, not to think of an excuse, but to listen. The trees were murmuring.
Is that a problem?
No.
She smiled. It was a thin smile. Even that sliver of a moon was a beacon in the
unadulterated darkness of the countryside, and he could see that
She smiled a thin smile. Dawn was hours ago, but sunlight could barely break
through the winter air, thick with snow about to fall. The strange non-light that leaked
through the periphery of the cheap drape on the lone window leeched off her color, and
she was impossibly paler against the light blue wallpaper. The smile was meant to be
encouraging not even directed to him, he supposed. But it was enough that he knew she
was breaking and rearranging inside, over and over, as they walked the short, narrow
corridor to her room. Even as she locked the door and turned her expectant eyes on him,
startling in their intensity despite the monochrome of early morning, the sepia of despair,
she reached for his hand and twined her fingers with his.
She reached for his hand almost impatiently, assisting him out of the truck,
though he hardly needed help.
Eager, he noted.
I suppose you can say that, Uchiha-sama, she conceded. Anxious, actually.
I wont run.
Oh, I wont even try to catch you. Im dead on my feet.
He began walking to the enormous house. The way the trees were oriented about
it left a considerable amount of clearing around the house, but they still created ample
shadows to shroud it from the touch of the moon. He stopped at the threshold. Beside
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him, his companion shivered, perhaps rethinking the practicality of such an expedition at
such an hour.
You do have a key, dont you? she ventured timidly.
Aa.
She chuckled nervously. Saves me from embarrassment. I dragged you here
and all.
Should I warn you of what to expect?
Well, I am about to jump out of my skin. Is it that obvious?
A well-polished foyer, he said in answer. Theres a caretaker who comes to
the house weekly. When my brother and I lived here, there were more servants and they
came more frequently, but they never stayed the night. The nights were always quiet.
It must have been lonely.
He shrugged. I didnt have a basis of comparison till after you. Silences were
never oppressive before then.
Oh?
I was seven when they died, he continued. Ive had this house to myself for
eleven years thereafter. I can navigate my way around it well enough.
As he expected, the foyer was gleaming, from its marble floor to the cascade of
crystals rippling down the chandelier, from the mirror that hung above a curio stand to
the ivory carvings it held. Even the leaves of the potted fortune plant harshly reflected the
incandescence from overhead. It wasnt a welcoming sight, but it was familiar. It seemed
smaller than he remembered, less grandiose, less imposing.
Where to first? she asked, after he had stood there by the front door long
enough.
He didnt trust himself to speak, so he took her hands in his and tugged lightly
towards the direction of the living room.
She tugged lightly to bring him closer to her. He saw her swallow her
nervousness as she padded to him slowly. It was to her throat he first went, nipping
experimentally at her jowl before scattering kisses around her mouth. There was no need
to rush, he thought, for it was a dream and her reaction to his every touch merely
reinforced his disconnectedness to time, to reality.
She was running her hands through his hair, about his face, his neck, down his
back, no more hurried than he was. Her lips kept seeking his and remained occupied with
this game of hunting and detaching. She seemed to find his taste as intoxicating as he did
hers, for she seemed to go back to kissing his mouth after meandering down to his
shoulder, lower to his chest and belly, or even lower still, joining their tongues hastily, in
short frequent reunions.
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They entered the dining hall, where a long, rarely-used table of hardwood
dominated the space. It has been in the family for several generations, a fact he didnt
bother to announce. This place, too, was flawlessly clean like a set straight out of a
magazine. Same with the kitchen, with its old-fashioned gas stove and its fairly modern
refrigerator. Sasuke watched as his companion took it all in with no more than cursory
glances at each corner of the rooms, her green eyes a tad wild.
Ive never seen a ghost while I lived here, he said.
Which doesnt guarantee there isnt, she retorted. Then, rethinking her
unwitting admission of fear. This is Konohas traditional ghost house, she explained.
Ive had my share of fun shaking in my boots over ridiculous tales about your vindictive
ancestors.
I havent been here since oniisama died. I cant guarantee he isnt haunting the
place.
Ahahaha. . . but Itachi-san didnt die here, did he?
He died in Byakko Turnpike in March 98, in a high-speed chase with his
younger brother. Former didnt want latter to meet with a distant uncle, Madara.
Sakuras face was conflicted. Likely, she was unsure on how to approach the
conversation, unsure if she was allowed to breach such a topic without prying too deeply
and shutting him down.
Sasuke continued for her sake. Madara had broken off from the family about
half a century ago. You know the issue about the 1957 Forest Conservation Act?
It limited the area, number, and species of trees a company can cut in a
specified amount of time. Your family was directly affected by it, more so than an
average Konoha citizen.
Madara had gone to extreme means to counter the legislation of the law. There
was a scandal, everybody took sides . . . casualties. The family broke into two.
The story of the Uchiha feud, Sakura recalled. It was mostly in the business
world that it was played out.
My father, I learned later, was supposed to be particularly vicious. Itachi took
his place and more than filled his shoes.
Itachi-san was afraid Madara would hurt you somehow?
Or manipulate me, he said gravely. He had kept me ignorant of the whole
debacle. It would have been easy to indoctrinate me to Madaras business tactics.
Wow. Its almost fearsome how your familys used the global economy as
some sort of chess game.
Its not my brothers only reason.
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Hmm?
I think he was being stupid that night.
Stupid?
He didnt want me driving.
Who? Itachi-san?
Our parents died in a car crash, too.
There was a deafening crash when her lamp fell. She knocked into it when she
jerked violently.
Childishly, she stopped her mouth against the interesting sounds he was eliciting
from her. He saw this as challenge and wondered if she could stay silent against a texture
she seemed so fascinated by only moments earlier.
He drank her sight, standing there against the floor-to-ceiling windows in the
staircase. Her body was profiled against the starry sky and the crescent moon. She was
beautiful, of course, albeit too thin. It took him years to admit it, much less tell her.
Did you say something?
She stopped midstep, twisting around halfway up the stairway, questioning.
He shook his head and continued his long-paused narrative.
Compression fractures: L2-4. A cracked pelvis. Splenic laceration and
perforated bowels. I had to havewhat do you call that pouch that collected stool?a
colostomy. And my surgical incision had to be left open. They stuffed gauze in my belly
several times a day. They couldnt close it because I heal too quickly and my guts twined
into each other.
You were much better when we met in Charcoal street, she remarked quietly.
He could see her digesting the medical terms he was casually enumerating. Her
expression was calm enough, but her face had gone paler, obviously painting a vivid
picture in her mind. Discounting your drug problem, that is.
Discounting a number of things, actually.
Where do I figure?
Another distraction.
Until I became the source of conflict? You said you brought me to your
parents condo for an exorcism, and that it didnt work.
Not immediately. You know the story.
I thought them cruel to just let you go without even telling me. I understand the
legalities involved now. Ive never had the right.
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Madara took me under his wing after the accident. He visited me, kept track of
my progress in rehab, schooled me in the workings of Antigone Logging and its parent
company Akatsuki International, and updated me with the business affairs. He was ten
times the father I could only vaguely remember, so I listened to him. Most of the time, I
told myself, I had no choice.
Did you?
Did I?
So he took you under his wing and took over the holdings of your branch of the
Uchiha, Sakura surmised. Did somebody bring it to your attention, or did you merely
realize he was using you?
My uncles enemies, he answered with an ironic smile. Orochimaru
Electronics disliked the stronger, newer Akatsuki International. Everything came to light.
Our companies tore each other to pieces.
Before or after us?
During and after. I dropped out of school again to fix the mess.
Around the same time you dropped out of sight?
Aa, he smirked in spite of himself. Out of yours.
She sniffed indignantly. I might have told you already: you are such an ass
sometimes.
He nodded, and they drifted into silence.
Are you done? she asked, minutes, rooms later.
Almost. A degree in a year. Im more or less contented with my executive staff.
Theyll be handling Antigone Logging for the most part.
He stopped before a bedroom door in the east wing, deep in thought. She
stopped as well, hand hovering about his forearm.
My brothers room.
Its okay, if
He shook his head. The traces of him here would be minimal. Oniisama didnt
make much of a mark in this house. Ive learned more about him by perusing his work in
the company, dealing with the people he dealt with. Whatever he left in this room more
than likely pales against the ghosts in the company office, even in our remotest outpost in
the mountains.
She stepped up beside him and opened the door.
Dusty, she remarked.
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The servants habitually skipped this room. My brother valued his personal
space.
Youve never been in here?
Once. To see to his will.
They didnt go any further than a few steps. She didnt seem to want to go
further into the room, and he didnt want to tread further than she would. Only silhouettes
of the bed and the chest drawers were visible. Their aromatic, hardwood smell was more
discernable than their huge sizes.
I should clean here.
Not tonight.
Aa.
They left the room, the smell of wood mixed with an aged musk burst on their
faces as they closed the door. It lingered and followed them as they entered the last room
at the end of the hallway.
She smelled of sweat, caffeine, and baby powder. It was the sort of smell that
recounted the intermittent rush of adrenaline, the smell that bodies produced when either
highly stressed or highly excited. Her skin tasted of salt, tasted of him. Her hair smelled
faintly of flowers; it was an old smell.
Because time didnt exist, he didnt settle with the little that escaped her. He
delved deep to inhale her, to sate both their nerves with the rush of sensations, impulses.
Your parents room.
Aa.
Roomy and open. I like it.
He nodded.
The watercolor paintings. Theyre in the condo, too. Are they your mothers?
Evidently. I dont remember her doing anything but mothering me. Then, she
was dead.
He watched as she wandered around the room, examining the furniture, the
massive bed, the hand-sewn quilt that seemed quaint against the pervading opulence of
the marble floor, the gilding, and the crystal figurines.
I learned more about both of them when I started visiting our various
properties. The condo unit was one of them. She and my father liked to stay there,
apparently, even well before their marriage. They walked about Charcoal Street often
when they were young. Mother studied in National University. Father visited her every
weekend.
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They went to the same places we did, supplied Sakura in a whisper. Oh,
Sasuke.
Veneration and accusation both, her harsh whispers served as his fulcrum. He
swung from end to end of the spectrum spanning sanity, a pendulum, a metronome,
synchronizing with the tiniest sound she made. The stream of nonsense from her lips
varied in pitch and volume, manifested no patterns to follow. It was the rhythm of their
bodies that dictated, deeper or harder or simply more moremore, she let him know with
each nuanced response.
They reached his room eventually, the exact opposite of his parents bedroom, at
the end of the west wing. It was a spartan room, with the same heavy headboard and the
mattress deep enough to drown in. Other than the bed, a desk, and a chair, it was an
empty room, made seemingly emptier by the span of windows that gazed out to the thick
ocean of trees and the thickly starred night sky of about three in the morning. His walk-in
closet contained a spattering of clothes from various stages of his childhood, while on his
desk was a sheaf of papers, each unrelated to the other: an unfinished physics homework,
a draft of an essay on macroeconomics, notes she lent him on trigonometric identities.
Are you done now? she asked again.
If youre referring to my monologue, for now, yes.
It would always be for now, you know, she said sagely. Youll only be
definitely done once youre dead.
Which is why I called you a month ago.
Surprise flickered across her face.
I didnt expect to see you in that hospital.
You mean, if I didnt happen to be the doctor of your important subordinate,
you wouldnt have even said hi to me.
He nodded.
Its getting old now, but you are an ass, she murmured. Really.
Aa.
So this was all due to chance, huh? Our meeting in the hospital was just
coincidence, which happened to lead to this little trek back to good old Konoha. Ive been
wondering, since then, about what it all meant, and I realized we are both being given a
chance of closure. So. Here we are.
In between drowning in her long, leisurely kisses, he stared back at her pellucid
eyes, unable to read their meaning or distinctly see the green behind the reflection on
their surface. Their storm was contained and neat, a blissful ride that languorously
floated to its resolution, to its last longing sigh. And it felt right to have her boneless body
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draped across his. It felt right to feel her every breath and the brisk thrum of her heart
beat till it slowed and faded into calm.
It was different, however. There was nothing to compare to. There were no
memories to go back to compare, because in his myriad of dreams, they had never
reached this far, never gone over the crests. Lust tended to truncate his imaginings into
swift, snatches of visions, compartmentalized into a sound, an image, or a sensation, not
the synergy of one whole act. The deep-seated joy he was emerging from was nothing
short of an aberration.
She was perched on the footboard, feet dangling.
Lets say, theres a couple who had a falling out and then separated, she
explained. One day they meet again and the boy decides he wants to try again. The girl
can say, Im different now; it wouldnt work. You follow?
He nodded.
In my case, I cant even say that. I haveI have no basis of comparison. What
constitutes us? Whats different between us then and us now?
She paused for a while, taking the opportunity to breath deeply and to choose
her words.
I just dont know you, she said earnestly. I dont know you enough to
possibly risk my sanity . . . or my heart, for that matter. No crash course on Uchiha
Sasuke could ever make me confident enough to enter such a challenge.
Im a rational person. You know that, right? My brain is my only redeeming
factor. Im mediocre in every other aspect. Ive found out through experience, that
whenever I get cocky and decide I want to reject the plain, stark truths my intellect posits
to me, I get in trouble.
She gazed at him, eyes moon-like, mysterious with the mourning shimmer on
their wet glaze.
Youre too much, she concluded. Im sorry. We cant go back to how we
were.
Im not sorry.
Her eyebrows crinkled at his curt response. The hurt on her face was swift to
spread, he noted, unmasked. I did my part, she murmured, resolute. Please respect it.
Im sorry for a great number of things Ive done, he said. But Im not sorry
we cant go back. Now, we can be friends.
Her expression was rife with suspicion. She wasnt sure what to think of this.
Friends? she repeated. Because youve said some really outrageous things tonight and
Im sorry, is the only thing that tops, Lets be friends. Those two fairly outdid your
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other confessions by. . . three hundred million ri, four-point-three light years, a googol,
some ridiculously macrocosmic number, at any rate. She shook her head. Why?
Meeting you in Club Mandala was chance, you said. So was meeting in Katon
Hospital. Ive been passed over so many times before. If you are fates apology for my
parents and my brother, I cant keep ignoring it.
If you put it that way, I suppose I havent got a choice, do I?
They were silent. He walked away from the window and came to sit beside her.
Her eyes were drooping, and he could feel her swaying slightly towards him.
We should exorcize this room, too.
What?
He smirked as her mouth flopped open and shut, the red streaking her cheek
burning more intensely as she deciphered his meaning.
Thats not going to work, you know.
So youve said.
Its not going to work, you know, her voice was distant. It wasnt just the bad
reception that made her sounds so. She had enclosed herself with ice and a deliberating
stubborness. She was good at pretending in many things; this was not one of them. You
think I dont know what you did? You called from my phone when you trespassed four
months ago
Collusion by silence.
Dont you dare try to twist Ire was good, he thought, much better than a
calculated indifference. Still, he shouldnt test her to the point of forcing her to refuse
even speaking to him. He shouldnt. Never mind. But its not going to work.
Despair now. It laced her words with a pungent flavor, but the underlying tone
was still grim determination. She was blocking him, rejecting him, denying his very
existence. She was healthy and normal and sane. She would protect herself from him. She
would have him debase himself, would have him beg. And for what? What, who, was she?
You cant just ingratiate your way into my life by setting up intermittent
apparitions in my bedroom, she continued through his wordless, even breathing.
Normal girls . . . normal people dont usually fraternize with ghosts. Should I flatter
myself that Im one of your few links to life? I could, of course, but thats not really
healthy, is it? Therell always be the question of why me?
That may be, he admitted after another long silence. But if theres anybody
haunting anybody, its you.
Oh, please
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Im a pragmatist. I dont want to spend the rest of my life sifting through
memories and be unable to reconcile between what happened and what could have. I
dont like conjuring up explanations. I dont like remembering. I hate dreaming.
. . .
I dont know the answer to your question, but Ive never been averse to
challenge, have I?
Okay. He could see her chewing on her lower lip. Fine. Meet me in front of
the hospital at three oclock on the 27
th
of next month. Its a Monday. Ill go wherever
you want me to.
Aa.
And a promise.
Yes.
You will do the talking, and you will be honest.
Fine. Ill see you.
Good night.
Its morning.
Good morning, then.
He watched her walk to her house under the moonlight. He remembered doing
the same, about ten years ago, but she was an idealistic dreamer back then, while he was
a lost and angry boy. She turned back once to wave at him, then she was admitted into the
small, homey bungalow with sleepy exclamations. He stayed a few moments, just long
enough to see the door shut, then resigned himself to some good-natured ribbing from his
adoptive family.
Old man Kakashi would be yawning in between his insinuating comments,
while that idiot Naruto would be boisterously complaining about interrupted sleep. Iruka-
san would have breakfast ready a few hours early, then maybe Sasuke would get to catch
up on sleep. After that, more confession. . .
Exorcisms, he thought, were quite fun, after all. Who better to have fun with
than a friend?
2012, spring
The sight of the petite, pink-haired woman toddling about the hallways had
become familiar to the hospital employees. Her white lab coat, as of late, has become taut
over her burgeoning belly, so she was wont to leave it open. Her brown leather loafers
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seemed to do just fine in keeping her feet comfortable, and it still squeaked against the
polished floors when she turned a corner too quickly. However, she was in a peach
summer dress and a knit sweater when she stepped out of the doctors lounge that
afternoon, appearing much daintier and younger than usual to her colleagues. She was on
her way home.
I heard you were going on leave, doctor, remarked one of the nurses as she
passed by the telemetry unit. Are you due soon?
Not for a few weeks, Sakura said with a laugh. Its my husband, see. Hes in
paranoid mode now, wants his wife in a padded enclosure somewhere reclusive. She
waved her cell phone in mock exasperation. This might be him again. He was supposed
to pick me up at three and its already four-thirty.
She finally reached the main entrance of the hospital, trailed by greetings and
well-wishes. A luxurious black car pulled up almost immediately, rather to her
embarrassment. When she opened the door, she was met by a familiar smile.
Five missed calls, she said, as she plopped in the back seat. Did you miss me
that terribly?
Naturally, came the amiable greeting. Hows my fat and ugly breeding sow?
Dont test me, handsome, she returned. Or Ill demand a pee stop at the worst
possible place in the freeway.
Ive actually brought you a portable urinal this time, Sakura-san.
Why, thats very sweet of you, Sai-san, but contrary to your endearing opinion,
I am not a dog.
Your own words, Sakura-san, your own words.
Their bickering was cut short by the ring of her cell phone.
So you miss me that much, she said upon picking up the call. Seven missed
calls and fifteen text messages. Really, anata.
Shut up, the crisp rejoinder was heard throughout the cabin.
Careful, Sakura admonished. Youre on a speaker phone, so you shouldnt
say anything horribly out of character. By the way, why do you insist on sending your
most irritating assistant when picking me up for these picnic trips?
He has the safest driving record in my staff.
Have you ever considered I might end up killing him at some point?
That would be annoying. Hes a fairly competent VP.
He never forgets your blue checkered blanket, Ill give him that, but he doesnt
cook as well as Iruka-san. Will you be driving the rest of the way to Usa Village?
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Aa. Ill see you in an hour.
In an hour, then, Sakura agreed, smiling. Ill see you, Sasuke-kun.
Punk Rock Princess
The door was painted a hideous rust-red, splotchy in some parts and uneven in
others. The wood of the door was splintering, the doorknob was coated with dust, and the
thick green rug under her feet read We c me in faded letters.
Sakura took a breath and covered her hand with a tissue. Then she leaned
forward, raised a fist, and knocked on the door.
She could hear noises from inside: laughter, conversation, someone yelling
either ramen or Im in!she couldnt quite telland then, over the sound of
socializing, another sound: footsteps, drawing near.
For one wild moment, she thought of running back the way she came, but then
she steeled herselfshe had come this far for a reasonand rocked back on her heels
just as the door swung open, just far enough for a pale face and dark eyes to peer out.
Yeah? The voice was gruffbut cautious. Sakura understood, even if she
knew she posed no threat.
Sasuke?
The door opened a little widerthough, Sakura couldnt help but notice, Sasuke
kept his hand firmly on the doorframe, arm blocking her way into the one-story house.
Yeah? he said again.
Um, Sakura began, horribly aware of the way he was staring at the small
white suitcase by her feet, Im Sakura. Im-Im a friend of Karins.
He didnt react. Sakura wondered if she had somehow gotten the wrong house.
She said you could help me, she went on, more timidly now. Im, um, I
Sasuke noticed her tissue-covered hand then, and his lips twisted in a smirk. He
glanced up at her, gaze cold and calculating. He then stepped back, dropping his arms to
his sides.
Come in, he said.
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Sakura stuffed her tissue into the pocket of her jeans, picked up her suitcase, and
stepped over the threshold. She found herself in a large room, with mismatched couches
and chairs gathered around a TV and coffee table on the far side. The floor was hardwood
and dusty, covered by a thin, forest-green rug. Just inside the door was a small closet, the
sliding doors half-open to reveal an assembly of coats and shoes, so many shoes, that
spilled out onto the floor by her feet.
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Sakura slipped off her black ankle boots and stepped further into the house.
Sasuke had already wandered off towards the couches, where three other boys sat, and
she hastened to follow, dragging her suitcase behind her.
Sasuke, get me a soda, one boya blondshouted over the noise of the TV.
Then, he did a double-take. Whawhos she?
Sakura, Sasuke said, taking a seat on a beaten, black leather recliner. Get
your own soda.
Im a friend of Karins, Sakura supplied, when the other boys turned to look at
her as well. Behind them, the sounds of a car chase chimed on from the television. She
sent me.
Youre beautiful, the blond said abruptly, and Sakura flushed. Im Naruto.
Nice to meet you, she said. And, um, thank you.
Naruto grinned. The brunette beside him rolled his eyes.
Im Kiba, by the way. And thats Shikamaru, he added, indicating the boy
sprawled across a navy blue loveseat.
Hello, Sakura said, trying to hide her concern. Did only guys live here? How
could she stay with them, especially since they were all strangers?
Ino lives here too, Sasuke said, gaze fixed on the television screen. She just
went out to get dinner.
She? Oh, okay, Sakura said. So, uh
Why dont you sit? Naruto offered, shoving Kiba over to make room beside
him. He picked up the remote from the coffee table and finally, mercifully, turned the TV
off. Tell us your story.
Sakura sat, stared around at the expectant faces watching her, and wondered
where to begin. I ran away, she said finally.
Well, no shit, Kiba snorted. But why?
Sakura shifted uncomfortably. Its complicated.
Kiba opened his mouth to say something, but Naruto cut him off before he could
speak. Its okay, he said, shooting Kiba a warning glance. You dont have to tell us.
We respect peoples privacy around here.
It was Shikamarus turn to snort. Right, he said flatly. Privacy.
Naruto smiled sheepishly.
So how do you know Karin? Kiba asked.
Oh, she worked at the caf I always go to. I was stuck there one day when it
was raining. She dropped me home, and we started talking. She was a good friend.
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Was?
Sakura cast her gaze down to her denim-covered knees.
She died, she whispered. In a car accident. That was when I left.
There was silence for a moment. Then, abruptly, there were footsteps and the
slam of a door. When Sakura looked up again, Sasuke was gone.
They had a thing, Naruto clarified in a low voice, catching sight of Sakuras
expression. A long time ago.
Karin had never mentioned that.
Oh, was all Sakura could think of to say.
***
Sasuke didnt leave his room until the next morning. By that time, Sakura had
already met Ino, moved into her room, and cried herself to sleep during the night,
hugging the one picture of her parents she had brought along with her.
Morning, sunshine! Ino sang at eight-thirty in the morning, as she came into
the kitchen, a small room beside the main room. A hall stretched away from the entrance
to three bedroomsone for Ino and Sakura; one for Naruto and Kiba; and one for Sasuke
and Shikamaruand a single bathroom. Sleep well? Youre up so early!
Indeed, Sakura was the only one at the table, drinking a glass of juice and
reading through a week-old newspaper.
I always wake up at this time, Sakura said. Its a habit by now, I guess.
And habits are meant to be broken, Ino said wisely. Give it a week, youll be
waking up at noon in no time.
Youre up, Sakura pointed out.
I just had to wake up to pee. Today was a fluke. Youll see.
Two weeks later, Sakura woke up at ten in the morning. She sat in bed for a
moment, staring at the clock.
Later that afternoon, she went out and bought herself an alarm clock.
***
What are you reading?
Sakura looked up from where she sat on the loveseat. Sasuke stood before her.
He was wearing shoes and carrying his house keys.
Cinderella. Are you going somewhere?
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Work. Arent you too old for fairy tales?
Do you think Im old? Sasuke wisely didnt answer. Sakura smiled. Maybe.
But I love this particular one. When the prince goes out to find her with only one shoe as
a clue its sweet, right?
It would never work in the real world.
It could.
Sasuke smirked. Youre a dreamer. At her expression, he added, That isnt a
bad thing.
Sakura didnt know what to say to that.
I have to go. The others should be back soon. Will you be all right alone?
Sakura flushed. Im a big girl. I dont need a babysitter.
Sasuke smirked again. Right. Call me if you need anything, my numbers on
the fridge. Bye.
Sakura watched him go. Then she turned back to her book, biting back a smile
she didnt fully understand.
***
What are you reading?
Why are you reading?
Sakura laughed and set her book down on her lap. Cinderella, and because I
like to, she said to Naruto and Kiba. I have nothing else to do, anyway. What do you
guys do for fun around here?
Eat, drink, and be merry, Kiba said.
And work. Sometimes, Naruto added. Isnt Cinderella kind of for kids?
I am a kid, Sakura said defensively. Naruto plopped down beside her, and
Kiba took the recliner. Wheres Ino? Didnt she go out with you guys?
Yeah, so did Shikamaru. Kiba smirked. So we decided to give them some
time alone.
Oh. Shikamaru and Ino like each other?
Yup. But they wont admit it.
And Sasuke and Karin were a thing?
Something like that, yeah. Naruto and I run a matchmaking service in our spare
time. So, you know, if youre interested in anyone
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It was funny that, at that moment, Sasuke walked in the front door. He stopped
when he saw everyone watching him. What?
Kiba glanced at Sakura and broke into a wide grin. Naruto didnt seem to notice
and said, Where were you?
Out, Sasuke said. Working.
So you left Sakura-chan home alone?
Sasuke glanced at her, then back at Naruto. Shes a big girl. She doesnt need a
babysitter.
But maybe some company, Naruto protested.
Sasuke raised an eyebrow. I think shes happy enough to be alone, he said,
already walking off toward his room.
Sasuke! Naruto called, but Sasuke ignored him.
When his door shut, Kiba spoke.
Sorry, hes beyond even us.
***
Somehow, everyone decided that Sakura liked Sasuke before even she decided
she did.
Its okay, hes cute, Ino said matter-of-factly as she painted her nails ruby red.
You should ask him out.
Or not, Sakura said, filling out a crossword. The two of them sat alone in the
kitchen with a bowl of popcorn between them. It was early evening, Sakura had been
living with them for two weeks, and no one else was home aside from them and Sasuke,
still hiding in his room.
Are you shy? I can do it for you. Sasuke!
Ino!
Its alright, its cool, Ino said, and turned in her seat just as Sasuke appeared in
the doorway.
What?
Sakura wants to know if you like her.
Ino!

Well, fine, Ino admitted, I want to know if you like her.

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Sasuke blew out a breath and looked at Sakura. She turned back to her
crossword, cheeks flaming.
Well? Will you go out with her?
Sasuke frowned at Ino. Maybe when the room gets empty.
My toenails are wet, she said. I cant go anywhere. Sorry!
Sasuke stared at her for a moment. Then, he turned around and left.
Ugh, no manners. Why do you like him anyway?
Ino, youre such an idiot.
***
Kiba was into it, too.
Well? Go out with her! he said to Sasuke one night when everyone was
gathered around on the couches in the family room. Sakura sat on the edge of one couch,
while Sasuke lay at the other end.
Kiba! Sakura exclaimed. Would you guys shut up?
Ino paused the movie they were watching. So, Sasuke? Yes or no?
Pick yes, pick yes! Naruto said.
Troublesome, Shikamaru muttered, and buried his face in a cushion.
Maybe when Im not so tired, was all Sasuke said, and then he left the room.
That was practically a yes, Ino said once he was gone.
Why is he so stubborn, Naruto said irritably. He cant still be hung-up on
Karin. He wasnt even that into her.
What happened to them? Sakura asked.
Nothing, Kiba said. Thats just it. Karin was into him, so they started dating.
He wasnt into it, so she eventually just gave up. She moved out the next day.
Sasuke and Karin came here together, Ino added. This house is theirs. I guess
he misses her, even if it isnt that way.
Sakura chewed on a hangnail and wondered if that was really the case.
***
Sakura finally asked Sasuke herself. Or, rather, tried to.
Sasuke, she began.
He cut her off before she could continue. "Maybe when your hair gets darker,"
he said.
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Sakura went out that afternoon and bought red dye.
***
"Oh my God." Ino was horrified. "What did you do to your hair?"
Sakura touched the freshly-colored locks worriedly. "No good?"
"You look like a cheap imitation of Karin," Ino said bluntly, getting up from the
couch and walking over to Sakura to examine her more closely. "You dyed it yourself?"
"Uh-huh." Sakura was really nervous now.
"Have you ever dyed your own hair before?"
"..."
"Yeah, didn't think so." Ino sighed. "What am I going to do with you? Okay,
well, it's heavier on the bottom, so we'll wash out the dye, and then I'll cut the rest for
you." Sakura drew backing, holding one hand over her scalp protectively, and Ino
laughed. "Trust me. I'm good with hair. I did mine and all my friends' before prom."
Unlike Sakura, who had left after her senior year, Ino had run away midway into
her first term in college. Naruto had been running away from various foster homes since
he was orphaned at twelve. The others were so secretive; Sakura didnt know what their
stories were. She and Ino were surprisingly close after only three weeks, and Naruto was
so open and friendly. Sakura didnt even miss home anymore. Or so she told herself.
I didnt go to my prom, Sakura said.
Why not?
My dad had a business party. I had to go with my family.
Ew. Why?
To meet my future fianc.
Silence fell. Ino looked shocked.
What?
How old are you, eighteen? Kiba demanded. When Sakura nodded, he said,
Why are you already engaged?
Im not engaged yet. But I probably will be.
Why?
Sakura shrugged. Its what my parents want. The guys dad is a good business
partner of my dads. Ino still looked horrified, so she added, It isnt a big deal. Hes a
nice guy. Ive never really been interested in anyone else, anyway.
But what about Sasuke?
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Sakura flushed and glanced quickly at Sasuke. He was leaning against the back
of a couch, watching her silently.
Dont be silly, Ino, Sakura said.
***
Naruto wanted to have a prom.
I didnt go to mine, he told Sakura, splitting a chocolate-chip cookie in two
and handing one to her, I didnt want to be alone. But all my friends are here.
Okay, she agreed, pouring them each a glass of milk. That might be fun.
***
I was prom queen, Ino told Sakura matter-of-factly. I hated the king, though,
so it sucked. She picked up a comb and ran it through a section of Sakuras hair, then
reached for the scissors.
Who was the king? Sakura asked, wishing she had a mirror to see what Ino
was doing. Snip-snip went the scissors, dropping locks of her hair to the ground. The red
was nearly gone by now.
A total creeper named Sai. He was such a faker. Hate, Ino said. And ew,
Sakura, never dye your hair again. Not even for Sasuke.
Sakura burned red. I didnt
Please. Ino snorted. We all know it. Even he knows it. Dont you, Sasuke?
Sakura was confused for a moment, until Sasukes voice sounded from
somewhere behind her. I know it, he said, and Sakura jumped, spinning around in her
seat to face him.
Sakura! Ino shrieked. She had leapt back and was holding the scissors close to
her chest. Dont do that, she admonished, You couldve gotten hurt.
Sorry, Sakura heard herself say. She was still staring at Sasuke, who was
standing in the doorway, newspaper in hand. He had probably bought it while grocery
shopping that morning.
I bought your ice cream, he said to Ino, but Naruto and Kiba are finishing it
right now.
What! Ino spun towards the door. Ill be right back, Sakura, she added over
her shoulder, and with a threatening snip of her scissors, she disappeared.
Are you hungry? Narutos making ramen, Sasuke said. At Sakuras
expression, he smirked.
Dessert before lunch?
Thats Naruto.
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Silence fell, and Sasuke unfolded his newspaper. Sakura fidgeted
uncomfortably, then turned around once more in her chair.
After a moment, footsteps drew near. The newspaper crinkled by her ear, and
Sasuke spoke.
Youre in here.
What? She turned, and he handed her the paper, pointing to a small article,
only a paragraph long, on the first page.
Your parents are looking for you. Theyre offering a reward.
Fifty thousand dollars? Thats all Im worth? Sakura swallowed, pasted on a
smile, and handed the paper back to him. Are you going to turn me in?
Sasuke shook his head a little, one corner of his mouth turned up in a half-smile.
Inos coming back, he said, and Sakura heard her muttering to herself as she drew
closer to their bedroom.
Oh, yeah, shes
Sasuke leaned forward before Sakura could finish, and covered her lips with his
own. The kiss lasted only a second, but she felt it down to her toes, and when Sasuke
pulled away, she was breathing roughly, eyes wide.
I like your hair, he said.
And then he was gone.
***
Ino?
Hmm?
Make me look princess-y.
Oh, Sakura. Youre adorable. Ill make you a queen.
***
Where did you get that dress?
Hmm?
Sasuke gestured to Sakuras pale green, satin gown. You didnt bring that with
you, did you?
Sakura laughed. No. Ino bought it from a friend who graduated from high
school years ago. It was a little worn, but she patched it up, and added some extras. She
stood up from her chair and twirled a bit, so her skirt flared out. There was a jingling
noise, and she lifted her skirt a few inches so he could see the tiny bells sewn onto the
hem. Like these.
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Ah. He set down a cocktail, light on the alcohol, on the white cloth-covered
table in front of her. Here.
Thanks. She took a sip, then sighed, slumping forward, elbows on the table.
This is really nice.
Yeah. He stared around the yard. Twinkling lights decorated the trees around
them. Tables and chairs were littered around one end, and the other end had been cleared
for a makeshift dance floor. Guests had only just begun to arrive, but Ino was already
bounding along to the thumping pop music, barefoot and laughing.
Sakura followed his gaze. Shes going to hurt herself, she said, and started to
get up.
She doesnt care, Sasuke said. Stay.
Sakura blinked, taken aback, and stared at him for a moment. Sasuke pretended
to not notice. Then, she smiled.
Okay. Okay, Ill stay.
***
At the end of the night, Ino gathered everyone onto the dance floor. There
werent many people, just close friends, plus the six inhabitants and Narutos date (a girl
named Hinata), as well as Kibas (Inos friend Temari), but it was enough to fill the small
backyard.
Ino stood on a table and shouted for everyones attention.
A prom isnt complete, she said, without a Queen. She leaned down, and
Sakura, standing on the edge of the crowd with Sasuke, could see Shikamaru, looking
bored, hand her a small silver-gray disc-like object.
And presenting our Prom Queen
Arent we supposed to vote? Kiba called up to her.
You get no say, Ino said cheerfully. This isnt a democracy. Its my choice,
and my best friendHaruno Sakura!
The crowd burst into cheers, though no one looked very surprised. They glanced
back at Sakura, who was still standing, frozen, behind the crowd.
That would be you, Sasuke whispered, nudging her softly in the side. She
turned to look at him, and he tilted his head towards Ino, still standing on the table,
waving wildly for her. Go.
Sakura went.
What, no King? Kiba called out.
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You stay quiet. This is a queendom, Ino snapped at him, as Shikamaru offered
Sakura a boost up onto the table. Ino clutched her arm as she came up beside her, and
Sakura was glad for the support on the wobbly plastic table.
As Ino placed the crown on Sakuras head, she caught Sasukes eye. He was still
standing in the back of the crowd, and as she watched, he smiled at her, fully, for the first
time.
***
She was wearing a crown of platinum-painted-plastic, cold and hard and cheap,
but she looked like all her dreams had come true. Sasuke lifted his hands in a slow, ironic
clap he knew she could pinpoint, and when she looked at him, her smile transformed into
something more special, so that even with her fake crown, she looked like a princess.
But then, she was always meant to be one.
***
So, at this prom, the Prom Queen dances with whoever she wants, Ino said.
So, Sasuke, come here!
Ino, Sakura hissed over the laughter from the crowd.
What?
Sasuke was already moving through the crowd for Sakura, and they parted to let
him through. Shikamaru reached up to forcibly pull Sakura off the table, and she hit the
ground just as Sasuke appeared before her.
This wasnt my idea, she said, trying to step back. He reached out to grab her
before she could.
Its okay, he said, and pulled her closer.
Soft strains of a slow song, all piano trills and crooning lyrics started up, and
Sasuke took Sakura into his arms. The other guests soon either followed their lead or
headed for the snacks. Sakura could feel some of them watching her. But she only
registered these things in the back of her mind; the rest of her focus was on Sasuke.
They moved in silence for a while.
I never thought youd last, Sasuke said suddenly.
Huh?
Here, he said. As a runaway. Youre too
Im too? Sakura echoed, voice pinching with worry. She had a feeling she
wouldnt like what was to come.
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You tell me. Why do you watch us instead of joining in? Why do you read
textbooks when youre done with school? Why do you have a picture of your family in
your room when youve already left them?
I Sakura was at a loss for words. Um, I
Tell me, he said, voice and gaze growing soft again. Tell me why you just
dont fit in and how youre going to be something.
Sakura felt sick at those words, and she wasnt sure why. Sasuke, what
Im sorry.
Sasuke slipped away from Sakura, just as a voice sounded by her ear.
Sakura-san. Its time to go home.
***
She barely registered the disastrous end to the prom. She didnt remember the
way the guests watched her go, the way Ino shrieked for Sakura to please, stop! Or the
way she was ushered, unceremoniously, into a car, the way her suitcase was packed by
other people and lifted into the trunk. She could only watch as she was dragged away
from the house with its rust-red door where she had been so happy.
She realized, somewhere in the back of her mind, that she had dropped her fake
crown.
And then, she started to cry.
***
Sakura lived in a large, two-story house, with a BMW and a Mercedes in the
driveway and a nicely manicured front lawn with a pond.
Sasuke didnt know how he would call her out without alerting her parents. He
didnt have her number. Then, he decided it didnt matter and knocked on the door.
A woman who looked like her mother answered. She frowned at Sasukes
shabby clothes.
Yes?
Is Sakura here?
Why? she asked cautiously.
She left something behind. Im just here to give it back to her.
That was when Mrs. Haruno caught sight of the tiara in Sasukes head. Oh,
well, she said, I dont think Sakura needs that, so
Mom! The door opened further and then Sakura was standing there, dressed in
a clearly new pink summer dress. Sasuke?
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Mrs. Haruno rolled her eyes. Sakura
Just let me talk to him, okay? Sakura said, without looking away from Sasuke.
Besides, you owe him, dont you?
Her mother looked from Sakura to Sasuke and back again. Then, she stepped
back. Okay, she said. But dont be long. And remember: Im watching.
Yeah, yeah, Sakura said, stepping over the threshold and shutting the door on
her mothers scowl.
They stood in the chilly night air for a long moment. Sasuke was still in his suit
from their prom.
What do you want? Sakura said coldly. You already chased me off. I know
you called my parents. Did you want money so badly?
Yes, Sasuke said. Sakuras eyes widened. But more than that, I wanted you
to be home again. You werent happy.
I was happy!
I heard you crying at night, he hissed. I saw the picture on your night table
and the way you lived out of a suitcase. You never unpacked. You never planned to
stay.
How do you know that?
Because youre not Karin.
Sakura stared at him. What?
Karin could have lived with me and gone nowhere in life. She was happy to. I
made her leave. Just like Im making you leave now.
But why?
Because youre meant for a lot more. Come find me when youre done with
school. Im not going anywhere. He held out her crown. She stared down at it, lower lip
trembling.
You broke my heart, Sasuke. You were my first real heartbreak. Those hurt.
And Id do it over again. As long as you stay, he said gently, setting the crown
carefully on her head.
Whyd you come here? she asked, bringing a hand up to touch the crown.
Just to bring me this?
Your glass slipper, he said.
Sakura snorted. Why, Sasuke?
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I thought I should explain. And because you wanted someone to. You
wanted me to.
Thats dumb.
Thats you. Youre a dreamer. She glared at him, and he added, softly, Thats
not a bad thing.
I think it is, she snapped. Leave me alone, Sasuke. Then, before he could
stop her, she ripped the crown off her head, tossed it to the ground, slipped back in her
house, and slammed the door behind her.
Sasuke waited, staring hard at the door. Minutes passed.
And then the door opened again.
Why havent you left yet? Sakura said in a small voice. Leave.
Maybe when Im done with thinking, Sasuke said.
Sakura sniffed, stepping out once more, so close that they were standing toe-to-
toe. You were right, she mumbled. Sasuke stayed silent, and she continued: I wasnt
happy. Not really. I couldnt stay there.
I know.
But I wanted to. I wanted to be on my own. She paused. That house it was
too small. Too disorganized. But it felt likelike when the walls were smaller, there was
more space. To just breathe. You know?
I know.
She stared up at him. Youll wait for me? You promise?
Sasuke bent down to scoop up the crown at his feet and set it on her head once
more.
Ill wait.
Reckless
Sasuke was going to die.
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Worse than die, really, but it was all the same. He would cease to existhe
would be brain-dead, gone as a person, while his body would be just his body, a shell, a
common statistic, another number to the unfortunate masses. He would be gone, replaced
by a soulless instinct that wouldnt recognize any faces or voices or memories. A thing, a
craving, too crude and primitive to even be called an animal. There were a lot of names
for what he was going to become, but now, none seemed appropriate. Nothing fit the
solid block of fear in his gut or the unwavering lack of hope. There was nothing to be
done. Simple as that. He knew this and had made his reluctant peace with it, or as close
as he could come to peace.
Over a decade of fighting, surviving, and now his skill, or maybe his luck, had
finally run out.
His watch glowed midnight by the time his fatigue became too much.
Collapsing against the side of a brick building, Sasuke slid down to the pavement, still
clutching his left arm. Beneath his fingerless gloves, blood continued to ooze from his
torn bicep; he hadnt bothered looking at it lately, but his last glance had revealed a light
green tint around the deep teeth marks. If hed had any doubt, it would have died there.
He leaned back and stared blankly skyward, forcing his breath to remain even
and his expression controlled, but then another shot of pain bolted up to his shoulder and
he cringed. Something sour in the back of his mouth made his chest tighten in a retch,
which he covered by hissing through his teeth as he nearly doubled over.
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A decade, and this was how his end had found him. He was going to waste
away, alone, in some dark streetwhat street, he didnt know. Nothing looked the same
anymore.littered with empty apartments and abandoned vehicles and the decaying,
forgotten bodies he would soon be a part of. He estimated he had no more than an hour
left. The bastard had missed puncturing an artery, which could have killed Sasuke in only
minutes if the loss of blood hadnt first, but this drawn-out process of waiting may have
been worse.
As the pain alleviated to something near tolerable, Sasuke relaxed again. This
was ironically fitting. After burning all of his bridges like he had, what more could he
expect than to rot away by himself? His dry lips twitched toward a frown.
On the edge of his empty gaze, a flash of friendly silver caught the moonlight.
Slowly, he looked over to stare down at the glinting end of the revolver in his leg holster.
It seemed to stare back, and after a long half a minute Sasuke released his arm and drew
it, raising it to eye level. Three bullets remained in the six-count chamber, the last one
used to blow the brains out of his successful attacker. Not for the first time, he examined
it leisurely from the thick barrel to the hammer, the trigger, and then finally the butt of
the gun, the only part that showed signs of wear even after so long. Not that it was
surprising. Itachi had always taken good care of what was his.
After double-checking the bullet count, Sasuke turned the magnum about until
he was looking down the black shadow of its mouth.
Rule one: there is no room for mistakes.
Cold sweat ran down his neck as his stomach lurched. The telltale chills were
setting in. The fever would soon follow.
Rule two: shoot them in the head. Attacks anywhere else are useless.
His thumb traced the frame around the trigger. How many had he killed with
this one gun alone? Hundreds, he was sure.
Only by destroying their brains can you truly kill the undead.
Sasuke continued to stare at the gun, unmoved except for his light shiversand
then he thrust it forcefully back into its holster, the motion almost angry.
And lastly: if you have to die, die with dignity. That one wasnt in handbooks,
but it was an understandingit had beenin his familys branch of the B.C.F. While it
was rarely spoken, never given a number, and lacked a real explanation, anyone with the
name Uchiha who had fought for his country understood the creed.
Just as quickly, his jaw stiffly set, Sasuke withdrew the nine-millimeter below
the revolver, clicked off the safety, turned it towards him, and pressed the barrel tip
against his forehead before he could think twice. He stopped breathing, the cold metal
painfully frigid against his hot skin, but his finger hesitated against the trigger.
I have too much to do.
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His heartbeat grew to a thunder, making his wound pulse harder. Fresh blood
brimmed along the gashes. Laboriously, finally, his breath left him in what was almost a
sigh and his grip tightened.
Im sorry, Brother I couldnt live like you wanted me to.
His hand tensedin an instant he saw his life flash before his closed eyes,
everyone he had let down and would let down, his regrets, his choices (those last two
closely intertwined), the smoldering remains of his home, the friends he still had after
everything
Kakashi
Naruto
Sakura
Footsteps. The sound of slow shoes on asphalt brought everything to a
screeching stop. Sasuke abruptly released the trigger he had only pulled back a couple
millimeters and snapped to attention, trained instinctbut probably if not mostly the
desire to live for even a few more secondsoverriding his dilemma and redirecting the
gun to his left, towards the approaching noise. Hed at least take one more out.
A burnt-out police car sat in the middle of the street yards away; through its
tinted windows he caught a glimpse of movement and a humanoid shadow. The stride
wasnt the usual, slow shuffling, but some were faster than others, he well knew, and this
was close enough. His mental crosshairs followed the figure around to the cars front, his
gun primed for a single, devastating headshot, and immediately honed in on the face,
once visible
And then he started, stared, and for an instant wondered if the virus was already
causing him to hallucinate. There was no decomposing, lumbering form coming to greet
him, but a very human, very uninfected, very familiar face that he hadnt really expected
to see ever again, let alone here, and the surprise shook him enough to briefly make him
forget everything else.
S-Sasuke?
Sakura lowered her handgun just a second before he did the same, looking
equally stunned. Her steps slowed, stopped, and then continued again, breaking into a run
as she hurried over, and immediately Sasuke wished that it wasnt her, of all people, who
had found him here like this, and he suddenly hoped that she was an illusion of his sick
mind, after all. No such luck was present, and the relieved smile that covered her face
was just an additional kick while he was down.
Sasukewhat are you? She dropped beside him and he averted his gaze as
she began to look him over. She quickly fell silent, her anxious air dying as she caught
either his cold demeanor or sight of his injury. Your arm, she said finally, what
did
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Reluctantly, Sasuke let his expression confirm her deduction. Sakuras look
melted into a blend of shock and dread, as predicted, and he turned away again. In the
distance, a crow broke the silence with a deep-throated caw.
Sasuke had just opened his mouthGo. Now. Theres nothing you can do for
me.when Sakura cut him off. How long ago were you infected? The solidity in her
voice surprised himhed expected tears.
An hour ago, maybe.
No, she said firmly, and touched his good shoulder to make him look at her.
Think. How long?
Sasuke blinked, taken aback by her interest and unwavering look, and since he
had nothing to lose, he did some quick thinking after glancing at his watch. About
fifty minutes? he estimated, sounding annoyed. I dont know
In a blink, Sakura had pulled the medical pouch on her back around to her lap.
Nearly tearing it open, she dug around inside it as he watched, and then cut him off again
when he started to question. Is that the only wound? she asked mechanically.
Yeah, but what She ignored him and lifted a small vial up to eye level, its
label handwritten; apparently having found the right one, she searched again and this time
drew out a thin, plastic cylinder. A second later Sasuke realized it was a syringe and she
removed the cap, inserted the needle into the vial top, and took care to draw a precise
amount of clear liquid into the tube before turning to him again. What is that? he
demanded, wary despite that she was one of few people he was positive he could trust
without hesitation.
An antidote, she answered hastily, taking his injured arm in gentle fingers.
Somewhere in the fog of his certain despair, a tentative light of hope flared. It
was brief and he hardly dared to seize it, but it also distracted him for the couple seconds
needed for Sakura to inject the needle just below the bite wound. Sasuke watched, hardly
feeling the pinprick.
An antidoteIt was impossible. Doctors and scientists had studied the virus for
years in hopes of finding a vaccine, hadnt they? Had a breakthrough actually been
made? He knew Sakura had been looking into it, but
Whats the rate of success? he asked as she tossed everything back into her
bag.
Zero if I dont do something about that injury. She stood and offered a hand.
Can you walk?
Y-Yeah. Using the building as support, Sasuke climbed about halfway to his
feet before she intervened and lent a shoulder. He didnt object, but still kept as much
weight as he could on his own legs.
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The safe house is a couple blocks away. She studied his face, reading his
sweat and pale skin better than his expression. Just hold out until then, Sasuke, she said
gently, and began to walk.
***
Her safe house, Sakura was aware, was actually a tiny apartment above a
fallen out diner on a street corner. Visible in two windows were her handwritten signs:
CLINIC UPSTAIRS. KNOCK THREE TIMES IN KITCHEN. All the stairways
leading to the second floor had been either barricaded or destroyed, the only way up now
being a rope ladder that was lowered and raised through a hole in the kitchen ceiling. The
more heavily injured could be lifted via a makeshift elevator, a four-by-five cut of
corkboard attached to a couple ropes. Not the most practical layout for the homemade
hospital shed attempted to set up, but precautions were never too much.
She hadnt had a patient in nearly a week, and her only company had been
Naruto dropping in to check on her a couple days before. The town itself was entirely
deserted, but she stayed on the grounds of it being a frequent stopping point for travelers.
Having established it a couple years priorand with Sasukes help at the timeshe
deemed it worth keeping, even if her visits to the area were too rare to keep the place in
real shape.
Once upstairs, Sakura ushered Sasuke to a bed and retreated to the bathroom
shed converted into a supplies closet, now low on the materials she hadnt had much of
to begin with. As she gathered what she needed, her previous rush of adrenaline and
authoritative field medic instinct began to recede slightly, enough for more personal
thoughts to surface.
Six months. Hed been away on leave six months, unable to call or email due to
that damn confidentiality rule, and only the briefest of words from Kakashi had let her
know that Sasuke was still alive. That had been four months ago. Now, her chest was
thick with suppressed emotion, because what were the oddsand there was still a chance
he would die here if she didnt work fast enoughHer eyes stung, happy tears and heavy
tears threatening to fall, but she forced it all aside like she always did. Not now. Not yet,
and not in front of him if she could help it.
Back in the main room, Sakura pulled a chair to his bedside, laid out her
supplies, and then after telling him to remove the shredded remains of his shirt, retreated
again to tie a surgical mask over her nose and mouth, wash her hands, and pull on a pair
of latex gloves, the last of which Sasuke glanced at when she returned. I need to remove
any dead skin and clean the area to prevent a secondary infection, she explained. Youll
probably need stitches, too, but I wont know until I look. Sitting down, she set to
workresisting a sigh at the numerous bandages and (fresh) scars that covered his
bruised torsoand looked over his arm as she murmured distractedly for him to relax.
The wound itself wasnt much better than she could have hoped for. His assailant had
gotten a sizable bite, judging by the marks, and the sites of inoculation ran deep. There
were several open lacerations, two still bleeding, and a couple inches worth of skin had
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already begun to rot. Grey-green in color, it had split in some places and pus was present;
she would have to remove it, as shed said, but luckily it wasnt much.
When was an antidote discovered?
Sakura met his eyes, unable to help a small, if not self-conscious smile. I
developed it. About a month ago, she replied, wiping up the excess and dried blood
around the injury. The silence that followed spoke for Sasukes surprise, and after a
moment he looked away.
It cant heal those already transformed, can it? There was little hope in the
question, Sakura could tell, and she frowned.
No, she said quietly. It cant bring back the dead. She began filling another
syringe. Its far from perfect. Its not permanent, so youd have to take it upon each
infection. Flicking the needle with her finger, she then smiled sadly, a little
apologetically, even if he couldnt see it. Im still working on a real vaccine.
Its better than nothing, he said gruffly after a few seconds. That made
Sakura smile wider, knowingly, as she caught the comfort in it and took it to heart.
Im out of sedatives, so the most I can give you is a little painkiller, she told
him, taking his arm again. Ill work fast, but the effect probably wont last the whole
time. She paused with the needle above his skin. Ready? Sasuke gave only a slight
nod after a couple seconds, and then Sakura quickly and carefully administered the drug,
opening the second box on her lap as soon as she was done.
Removing the infected skin would be the trickiest part of the procedure, but
Sasukes case was less severe than most shed seen. First, though, came cleaning the
mess from the inside outin under a minute she was checking the depths of the many
punctures, searching for any residue or debris, and after another minute she discovered
the disturbing but no longer startling sight of what appeared to be a decayed human tooth
deep down in his tissue and stubbornly embedded in place.
Im surprised, said Sakura finally, moving closer as she inserted the tips of her
forceps into the wound. There was only the lightest movement of Sasukes head and she
guessed he had glanced at her in his mild way of asking, at what? Its not like you to get
hit like this.
Most do eventually.
Sakura began prying the tooth from his swollen muscle, careful to avoid further
scarring. Did something happen? she asked, glancing up.
No.
Mm. She sat up and dropped the rotten bone into a metal pan, the noisy
rattle seeming to fill the room.
Well find them, Sasuke, she said gently, although grimly. They cant hide
forever.
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The comment didnt affect Sasukes blank stare, unsurprisingly. He didnt
appear to have heard her. Quickly dousing the scalpel in ethanol, Sakura began cutting
along the present injuries to isolate the areas of dead and dying skin.
Why are you still here? he asked suddenly.
She shrugged lightly with one shoulder. This place has its busy days, I guess.
Besides Their eyes caught briefly. Where can any of us really go anymore?
Youre still in the organization? he asked doubtfully after a pause. The
organization, as in the one they had both belonged to for most of their lives: the Allied
Citizens for the Enforcement of Biological Safetythe A.C.E.B.S. Their division,
specificallythe Biologics Countermeasure Forcehad seen the roughest years lately,
spawning more corruption, it seemed, than any other department.
I am, she concurred, and then added, by a thread. But you know how it is.
With so few doctors and researchers still alive and even less not bribed or blackmailed,
theyre hesitant to send us to the frontlines. She smirked hesitantly, as if contemplating
some long-kept secret. You were right about medicine not being your style. Youd
never sit still under command.
And you have? he asked, skeptical.
I never said I did, she replied lightly, taking her turn to ignore him when he
glanced over. But Narutos more disobedient than you are lately, she went on, and
huffed slightly. These days he just seems to show up when he feels like it. Never really
takes assignments as much as he moves on his own. If youre heading back to HQ, you
might be able to catch him. He said last week that he was taking an extermination case in
Kiri.
That area was cleaned a while back, Sasuke said after a moment.
Cutting the last corner of a large piece of dermal tissue, Sakura also discarded it
in the pan. There were two more terrorist attacks, she said finally, solemnly, and
began on the next area after wiping her scalpel. Captain Yamato stopped one in
Tanzaku, but the outbreak in Kiri was detected too late.
Did they catch anyone?
No. But I heard hes working on a lead.
He stayed silent, and she saw an irritated light in his eyes that his flat-line face
didnt show. She could relate, of course; all of Squadron Seven could. Kiri was a town
they had all risked their lives to disinfectSakura in particular. Learning that it had been
hit yet again, nearly as badly as before
What about that tip you received? she inquired, trying for a brighter tone.
Was it genuine?
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More or less. She heard that same irritation, now in his voice. Danzous men
ambushed us at the final meeting point. There was a discernable pause before the word
men. Sakura blinked, hesitated, and looked up.
Then
The others are fine, Sasuke told her, although his tone didnt convey any real
happiness at the fact. She nodded, partly to herself. This wasnt the first time Danzou had
escaped: all he did was run, launching attacks here and there ever since his breakout from
the A.C.E.B.S. prison only two days before his scheduled execution. Half the world saw
him as the bane of salvation from this apocalypse; the other half saw him as a paying
client. This latter point of view was the only reason hed eluded the B.C.F. for nearly two
years. Sasuke had partly volunteered, partly been assigned to Danzous recoveryand
being a dead-or-alive option, most of the organization simply referred to it as his
assassination.
Sakura knew about the grudge between Sasuke and Danzouthere wasnt a
soul in the A.C.E.B.S. who didnt, and new recruits usually caught wind of the stories
their first day inand for that she couldnt help hating every time a tip or lead came in as
to Danzous whereabouts, because Sasuke never hesitated to drop everything he was
doing to pursue it. Shed lost count of how many phone calls hed received in the middle
of the night, how many times hed upped and left her without a word of where he was
going because it was protocol and they each had their jobs and their places and she
couldnt follow. She hated it, even if she was sure Sasuke would eventually be the one to
kill Danzou, the man who needed killingSasukes obsession wasnt like before, not
exactly, but it was breaking him down nonetheless.
But he was all right for the moment, and she couldnt be anything less than glad
for that much.
Sasuke, she began, but no sooner had she spoken did he suddenly jump,
tense, and give a startled grunt, his arm beginning to pull instinctively away from her.
Ready for it, she caught his wrist and pulled him back almost just as quickly, having
made a rather accurate prediction of when the last of the drug would wear off. Were
almost done, Sasuke, hold on She caught and held his hand in encouragement, feeling
his cold skin even through her glove. His jaw working, Sasuke stiffly leaned back again,
closing his eyes momentarily to either recover or build up tolerance or both before he
shot her another look telling her to proceed. Nodding, she gave a soft okay and
resumed, dexterous enough to work one-handed for the time being.
Sasukes skin grew damp with a light sweat as Sakura went on, but he fought for
a neutral expression and his hand remained mostly unresponsive in hers, only twitching
here and there when she made a particularly agitating cut. She now spoke to distract him
as she often did with patients, just telling bits and pieces of what she and Naruto and
Kakashi had been up to since his departure; while shed never been infected herself, she
was aware of the painful inflammatory response the virus caused around portals of entry.
Whether her talking helped, she wasnt sure, but Sasuke gave no sign or word that it was
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making things worse, either. He only listenedand she was sure he was listening,
because he reacted occasionallywith an enforced calm and blankness that shed only
seen once before.
The last incision she could make with one hand was deeper than the rest. At the
bottom of its reach, Sakura heard the sheets crumple in Sasukes free fist before his
fingers abruptly tightened around hers, but she kept on working, shifting just enough to
properly interlock their hands.
Twenty minutes and a dozen stitches later, she sat up with a conclusive sigh.
Done. Not her neatest work, she figured, but it was successful and would hold. The
fresh gauze would stem the inevitable bleeding every couple hours, but it would need to
be changed periodically until his body healed up enough. Sasuke looked more exhausted
than before; he didnt look over or even move when she finished, so Sakura just went
about cleaning up and storing her materials in silence.
It was after one in the morning when she sat down beside him again, rubbing her
eyes and trying not to look as tired as she felt. You can sleep here, she told him,
indicating where he was as she placed a glass of water on his bedside table. He didnt
respond and it was difficult to tell by his distant stare if he was more than half-conscious,
but she added nonetheless, Try not to move your arm too much. And keep as much fluid
in you as you can. He made a vague sound, but that was it. Watching him, Sakura
smiled a little smile and gingerly smoothed his damp hair back, just as she had so many
times before, and fought the heaviness in her chest that threatened to release relieved
tears now that her EMS rush and the buzz of adrenaline had faded. The two of themno,
all of themwere strangely fortunate, considering the lives they led. If Sasuke had ever
once been too slow, too careless, before tonight, he would have died like the hundreds of
thousands before him, but by some merciful stroke of fate, his one mistake had fallen in
the best possible timeframe.
After a couple recuperative minutes, Sakura reached for the leather straps
hanging along the bedside bars. Theres a low chance, she told him, but Ive observed
post-treatment reactions in some victims. She stood and leaned over him, draping the
first restraint over his chest and working to fasten it to the opposite side. Just for tonight,
you should The rest of her words left her in a startled choke, because without warning
Sasukes strong hand was around her throat. She jerked back in surprise and her star-
speckled vision caught a glimpse of his expressionblank, but blank blank, a dead,
emotionless blank that even he could never achieve consciouslyand that said enough.
She automatically struck at the muscle in his bicep with the side of her hand, but his
brain, of course, didnt register the pain.
KkhaahSasuke! She already knew it was a waste of breath: he couldnt
hear her. Sasuke himself was unconscious; the thing controlling him now was nothing but
animalistic instinct. His other hand grasped ruthlessly at Sakuras shoulder when she
resisted, scratching her skin, and knowing that she couldnt beat him in strength, she
quickly planted one foot on the bedside table, another on the mattress edge, and shoved,
hard, propelling herself backwards and onto the solid floor where her head bounced off
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the hardwood with a searing flash of white across her vision. Sasuke landed on top of her
in the same second, his knee crushing her ribs and driving tears to her eyes as his firm
hold trapped the sharp breath that was forced upwards from her battered lungs. The table
landed beside them with a loud crash, vials and tools and shattered glass scattering
everywhere.
As rare as this side effect was, it was actually more deadly than a true
transformationthe body hadnt stiffened up in that post-death period, the brain hadnt
started deteriorating, which meant greater speed and muscle control than was normally
found in a zombie. Sakura might have stood a chance against Sasuke if he were actually
an Infected, but now she was fighting against the real thing without the advantages of
conscious sympathy and pain perception.
Managing to hold his head at bay in a mutual stranglehold, she flipped rapidly
through every bit of training shed ever receivedbut every maneuver, every strategy
shed learned called for disabling her attacker in the only way fitting: cranial obliteration.
Her sight darkened, her head swam, her lungs burned, and her muscles ached.
Less than a minute had passed, but that was enough. If she did lose consciousness, there
was the possibility of surviving as long as he didnt tear her throat out, but even then she
might not wake before the virus made its rounds
No. If she had enough time to consider death and reanimation, she still had a
chance. Turning her neck with difficulty, Sakura searched the debris along the floorand
then her heart gave a painful leap when she caught a flash of silver. One of the vials of
vaccine was just out of reach.
Sasuke was still struggling against her, to get his mouth to her, and as he fought,
his knee suddenly slipped off of her chest and he staggered a little. She acted, twisting her
hips and kicking against his to send him all the way off and down and then driving all of
her weight into his forearmhis fingers lost some hold, she struck again a second later,
and then her bruised throat was free. She turned, darted for the vialcaught it, and then
scrambled to her feet and to the trash bin beside the bed. Against all engrained training
and principles, Sakura reached in and snatched the syringe shed used on Sasuke,
thrusting the contaminated needle into the bottle top and drawing the liquid up as slow as
she dared.
No matter how many times shed seen him move, Sasuke always seemed to be
faster than the last time. He lunged at her some several seconds before she had guessed
he could and she jumped back, but she hit the overturned table and fell and he was on her
again almost before she could comprehend it. She threw an arm up and across his collar
to keep him back as she brought the syringe up to her teeth and bit down on the piston to
pull it from the bottle. Flipping it around in her hand, she reached up and around him in
an opening between his movements, stabbing the back of his neck as soon as she saw the
chance.
For a few tense seconds, nothing happened and Sasuke nearly broke the needle
as he continued thrashing at herbut then he slowed, stopped, and a distinctly humane
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look came back into his eyes, distant though they were. His tight hold on her shoulders
slackened, he swayed, and Sakura caught him with an arm and a leg to keep him on top
of her as he abruptly collapsed.
After easing the needle from his skin, she relaxed with an exhausted groan
against his shoulder. Shed only seen this case in less than six percent of patients, but
even the first time hadnt been assavage as this. She slowly raised her hands and
moved them over his back, holding him tightly, protectively, even as her right arm
throbbed and she felt the trickle of blood.
Sakura let a couple minutes pass before moving, putting him back into the bed
with some difficulty, administering the vaccine to herself from a fresh aliquot, and
cleaning up the mess their struggle had made. Once all was said and done, she turned off
the last light and sat beside Sasuke on the bed, watching silently; a moment more and she
lied down behind him, scooting closer and examining his sides and chest. She would
check and change those bandages tomorrow, she noted. He probably needed more
stitches, knowing him.
She stayed with him, her justification being that a secondary reaction wasnt
possible for a number of reasons, but aside from being a comfort to herself, it was the
most she could do for him as he was.
***
A sharp prickle in his arm stirred Sasuke out of the last of his sleep. Even
closed, his eyes burned under sunlight, telling him it was morning and forcing him to
blindly demand in a mumble what Sakura was doing. Shh, she replied. Just taking a
blood sample. He slung his free arm over his eyes and began the slow process of trying
to wake, hinging his focus on her words to keep from going back under. If it comes back
clean, youve got nothing to worry about.
He heard her stand and move away, and then the scrape of chair legs as she took
a seat at one of the tables. If it doesnt? he asked, wincing as he pulled his arm from his
face.
Well Click; a machine hummed. That hasnt happened yet. They both left
it at that.
Once Sasuke could see clearly and sleep no longer tugged at him, he glanced
first at his left shoulderstill bandaged, but a spot of browned blood had appearedand
then over at Sakura. He saw that aside from a couple beds, chairs, and a worn couch,
most of the furniture in the room consisted of crates pushed together and covered with
tattered notebooks, stained texts, and different equipment and medical supplies. There
was only one real desk, and Sakura now went between a microscope on top of it and
some papers on one of the boxes. After some half a minute at the former, she caught his
stare as she drew back from the eyepiecesand smiled.
Negative, she announced, and the last of that knot in his gut faded. He closed
his eyes and exhaled, a little heavier than usual.
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So? she pressed, approaching a minute later, and he saw her smirking
confidently as she set a first aid kit on the bed beside him. It struck him as odd that she
wore a turtle-necked sweater in this heat, but he only closed his fingers over hers when
she took his hand. That melted Sakura into a warmer expression and she leaned over,
looking momentarily into his eyes before kissing him gently and briefly once, and then
again, slower. I missed you, she told him, nuzzling his cheek. Sasuke brushed her hair
back from her face and nudged her up for another kiss, deep and long and with a nip of
his teeth at the end that made her grin. I still want a real thank you. He snorted
lightly, and then shifted to slip his knee between her legs and pull her up onto the bed
with him. She followed along, but only to straddle his stomach as she pulled back. That
doesnt count, either.
Running her hands over his chest, Sakura examined his covered wounds, a
frown twisting her lips each time she pulled away the gauze. Did you wrap these
yourself?
Most of them.
She peeled back one corner and started. When were you shot?
It wasnt even close, Sasuke pointed out, glancing aside. And Karin took
care of it at the Sakura ripped it off in one swift motion. The sting of the tape pulling
at his skin shut him up and he chose not to oppose as she began cleaning the stitches.
She remained on top of him as she worked, cleaning and redressing each injury.
Sasuke just watched herher movements and her flickering expressions, her eyes for a
while before he looked back to the ceiling. Once finished around a quarter of an hour
later, she sighed, wiping her hands with a cloth. Im surprised you havent just died of a
regular infection. Or tetanus. She slid partway off to stretch out beside him, avoiding his
freshly dressed injuries, and then leaned over him with a searching look. He returned it,
silent, but then she just rested her head against his, kissing the corner of his mouth softly.
That look said enough: he knew shed been worried sick since the night hed leftthe
night hed awoken to a brief call, a summoning to the lead conference room for his next
mission briefing; it had required leaving then and there, and the last thing hed said to her
was a short The front desk called. This onell probably take a while. A kiss in the dark,
a word from her to be careful, and that was the last theyd seen of each other until last
night.
Turning his head, Sasuke kissed her again, not entirely drawing back when it
ended; Sakura murmured his name or some other nothing and did the same, a little
deeper, making an amused, pleased sound when he moved just right, and then she
laughed quietly when he pulled her down further and kissed her more fully. She ran her
hands gently over his chest as he settled his on her back; he kissed her top lip, felt her
warm breath against his ear when he kissed across her cheek, down to her jaw, the
beginning of her neckbut as he went to smooth her collar down out of the way, Sakura
retreated with a smile. No strenuous activity for at least another day.
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Sasuke watched her, but the look stayed and he knew she was serious. Relaxing
again, he glanced around the room. People still show up here?
The most Ive had is ten in one week, she told him, settling next to him
again. But lately its just been a couple. His eyes returned to her, to her at ease
expression, and inwardly he frowned. He didnt like her being so far out here, even if she
could handle herself and had been placed here for that very reason. If hed been in town
at the time of her relocation, none of the higher-ups would have crossed him on that
callif they would have even tried to move her while he was there in the first place.
Im due back at headquarters in three days. Sasuke glanced again over her
features as he spoke. Come with me. Anyone who had a problem with it could take it
up with him.
Sakura smiled again, and hesitated as she tugged lightly at his neckline. Ill
be okay, she said after a moment. Ive already promised Dr. Tsunade that Id meet up
with her this weekend. Were headed up north to some of the towns along the coast. She
touched his face, rubbing his cheek with her thumb. Until the vaccine is put into
production I want to try and save as many as I can. Why dont you come along? she
threw in brightly, but Sasuke detected little hope in the question. She knew as well as he
did that he wouldnt let any chance goat information, at a mission that he had a
personal stake inif he could help it.
Appearing to sense his answer, Sakura smiled anyway and ran her soft knuckles
back over the top of his cheekbone. If youre due back in three days, she murmured,
then stay for two.
Sasuke held the warm, inviting look, and when she finally broke it to lie against
him, her head resting in the crook of his neck, he felt the most content that he had in
months. Even the few successes his team had had during the mission had been hollow,
just routine killings and cleansings rather than victories. That was the odd thing: he knew
doing what he did, obsessing like he did, would mean little in terms of his own happiness
in the end. Vengeance was an empty word, but that made him no less attached to it.
Achieving his goal and finding it less satisfying than hoped for was always more
appealing than failing, or never knowing for sure. Doing this would get him a lot closer to
something like inner peace than walking away ever would.
But it wasnt just for himself. It wasnt just for the dead. Not anymore.
He let his hand come to rest on Sakuras hip as he went on staring upward.
***
Here. Sasuke looked up as he tugged on his gloves, curious to find Sakura
holding a shotgun out towards him with both hands. I noticed you lost yours. He
glanced at it.
What about you? he asked flatly.
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I have another one, she breezed, all but pushing it into his hands, but his look
remained skeptical. She caught it and sighed. I do. Stepping over to the trunk against
the far wall, she reached in and picked up another, older model before setting it back and
closing the lid. Pacified, Sasuke studied the gun shed given himnewer than hers, two-
barrel, pump-action. Slightly heavier and noticeably thicker than his previous one. As he
worked to strap it across his back, Sakura stepped around and helped; once done, she kept
a hand on his shoulder, and he turned to find her face solemn. Wait for me, she said,
soft but firm. Well be back in two weeks. If something comes up, call meIll come
back if you need to leave
Ill be fine, he interrupted, and she stared at him a little longer before nodding.
I need to talk to Kakashi, anyway, he added after a few seconds. Finding him should
take me a while in itself. Sakura nodded again, but seemed genuinely more reassured by
that. She kept her hands on his shoulders, his chest, as if still hesitating about her decision
to let him travel aloneand then finally she drew back to retrieve a small box off of the
nearby table.
Just in case take this. She removed the top and he saw three brown vials
along with some short, wrapped syringes and a folded note beneath them. If you get
infected again, youll need to inject this within the same hour, no more than six inches
away from the wound site. Sakura closed it again and looked up. You wouldnt be able
to determine the exact amount, so to be safe, Ive written down how much you should do
regardless. Since itll be a slight overdose, make sure youre somewhere you can afford
to rest for a while in case you get dizzy or pass out. Sasuke took the boxslightly
smaller than his hand and weighing almost nothingand carefully tucked it into the
highest pouch on his leg, which he predicted would take the least amount of impact, if
any. This doesnt mean you can be more reckless, Sakura added.
It was a one-time mistake.
But it was enough. She searched his eyes, and then took his face in her hands
and just held him there. Be careful, Sasuke.
After returning the kiss she gave, he shifted, disgruntled. Youll only be a
danger to yourself and Tsunade if you worry. Ill be fine, he repeated. It sounded harsh,
but Sakura recognized the layered concern as only she would and gave a soft word of
consent.
She walked with him as far as the street out front. The sun was still rising ahead
of them, the city empty and silent in a false sense of peace and security. Sasuke hesitated
as he turned west, and then felt Sakura against his back, her forehead on his shoulder.
Dont wander around at night anymore without backup, he told her firmly.
You know that.
Youre not my superior anymore. Dont tell me what to do.
I shouldnt have to tell you something so basic in the first place.
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Sakura scoffed as she linked her fingers with his. He gripped back slightly, and
then after another moment pulled away, not releasing until he had to and not looking
back.
A few yards later, he slowed, stopped, and turned partway back, but only to
exchange with her the inevitable pair of looks that those in the A.C.E.B.S. usually did at
the start of a mission: Dont die. Remember your training.
On a yearly average, roughly twenty-five percent of B.C.F. soldiers were lost
during combat with the enemy. Of that number, an estimated seventy percent joined the
undead ranks.
Sasukes cool expression never moved, but his eyes, hard by default, softened
the longer they watched her. When at last he turned to leave, the motion was slow, and he
waited a second more before taking a departing step.
Scratch
I
she
I
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The caf she was sitting in was located in the northern half of the city
appropriate, she thought, considering the symbolism there. The North was cold enough
that time seemed to freeze and stop entirely, leaving nothing left but Possibility.
It was April, and the winds were changing.
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She brought the caf au lait to her lips, touched with only the barest hint of
creama concession to the one addiction she had yet to live down. It was still a bit bitter,
but she ignored that, and shifted the sunglasses on her face so they covered more of her
eyes.
It was a dry day, and the sky was fickleunwilling to turn blue, alternating
between off-white and somber gray.
It was April, and he was late.
***
The orders had come some months agoSakura wasnt so sure about Time
anymoreenclosed in a manila envelope with red tape across the front. Along with the
aged scroll insideTsunade had always been one for special effectsthere had been a
white envelope with fifty thousand euro, three silver keys, and one note on rose-scented
paper with an address in red scrawl.
Arrondissement 4
le Saint-Louis
For a moment shed balked. This was war, and she could not, would not, walk
out on the people who needed her care.
Shed said as much to her mentor the last time theyd spoken, had screamed so
loud it hurt, but Tsunade was unmoved.
Theres nothing left, shed said, her face grim with unforgiving resolution.
And, I dont need you anymore.
But they
They are dead, Sakura. And I made one of them a promise before he left.
Naruto made me
Dont! Dont talk to me about
Naruto made me promise that you wouldnt die here, Sakura. And, II have
to
What? Sakura interrupted, her voice wavering in her anger. In times of crisis,
Tsunade had told her once, Sakura was not, could not be steelshed tried before, but the
comparison was too solid, and Sakura, strong as she was, could not stay that way for
long.
You have to what? she continued. He was your heirI get that. I get that he
had to see the ground from underneath it before you did, and that waking up knowing
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hes gone and youre still here makes youI get that. But hes dead now, and you have
me. Im here. Im alive. Would you value a corpse over the welfare of all those people
who are still fighting for you, she spat out, imbuing the words with as much vitriol as
she could gather. Dead men dont care about promises anymore, and peopleyour
peoplestill need me here.
It was difficult, but Tsunade had reined her temper back, Sakura remembered.
Then, she had not the luxury of falling to pieces. That Luxury was gonehad left
without warning in the stillness of a night that still haunted her.
Shed watched as Tsunade had shaken off the brief pangs of Memorythose,
she knew, were Luxury, too.
Theres nothing left for you here
But, I can help, shed said fitfully. I can help him, that man whose name you
still cant say, the one you still blame for all this.
And, why shouldnt I? Give me one reason I shouldnt lay the credit for all this
at his feet, Tsunade had said, her voice tight with restrained rage, her arms spread out,
directing her attention to the panoramic view of the outside, to the epithets that came
filtering in from the nearby battlefields. Give me one good reason I shouldntand you
shouldnthate him for betraying this.
Sakura had not been listeningin truth, had not wanted to hear.
I need to help him, please, please, pleasedont make me leave. Then, with
more feeling, You cant make me leave.
There had been silence and then
As I thought, Tsunade said, as though the truth of something shed long
suspected had finally been brought to light. Listen carefully, SakuraI am allowing you
no reason to stay. Do you understand me? So, if I have to break every bit of you into
small enough pieces to drag onto that airplane tomorrow, I will, she said, almost
wearily. Youre leaving, Sakura. Whether you want to or not.
The blonde woman, looking far older than her forty years, sat back in her chair
and sighed.
If I were you, Id be thankful.
***
What happened next was lost to her, but she remembered resisting, and she
remembered bits and piecesthe sensation of her arms flailing in empty space, the feel
of a sudden, swift pressure against the nylon theyd used as a gag, a blow to the base of
her skull.
And then, there had been darkness.
Shed guessed long ago that theyd used herhad somehow imbued her with
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the power of Forgetting. For a while shed been thankfulnot everyone had that Luxury,
anymore, and there wasnt much that she wanted to remember. Certainly not the sight of
her home razed to the ground until there was nothing left but foundation, and certainly
not her mother, hanging from the rafter of a house left incompleteher body swaying
against a wooden skeleton, as though the gods had known what irony was after all, and
wanted to remind her too.
But these, she did recallthey were personal tragedies, and she treasured them.
They were, after all, what she had left of that life.
This lifethis life was different. Sakura supposed that not many people
remembered their birth-day, their beginning, but she did.
Shed woken up in a hospital to a world of white, her body still curled and still
curved around itself under the warmth of a pink blanket. Her skin was moist with fever
and the doctorsall of themhad spoken to her in a language she didnt understand.
(And she wondered, for a brief moment, if hers was deadif it was gasping for breath,
for words that, now, only her lips knew how to form.)
Theyd heard of her, they saidor at least, of her situation. Theyd listened to
the reports with clinical ears, watched as the news anchors spoke of their story with dry,
reedy voices, the way they normally did when Others were the spectacle of the day. The
government had established a makeshift home for people like you, they had saida
place for you to breathe, one of them had noted, smiling at her with white teeth. While
you get your bearings, you know? Do you think, he said, turning now to one of his
colleagues, an elderly man with a stern brow. Do you think she understands me?
She still did not know how shed known how to reply, but the word came out
almost reflexively, like an exhalation, like her mind had rewired itself, like the
knowledge of it were something that had been ingrained all along.
Yes.
***
Shed stayed at the halfway house
(And why, Sakura had asked once, why do they call it that?
The caretaker had given her a wry smile. Well, you should know, shouldnt
you? Youre a perfect example, after allyoure halfway.
Halfway? Between where?
Hed paused, his tan, weathered face crinkling into an approximation of a smile.
Here and there, then and nowwouldnt you say?)
Shed stayed at the halfway house for seven months, before a couple that had no
children of their own (the residents of the envelope) had summarily adopted heran
experimental, invitation-only program set up by the government to allow the refugees
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the possibility of acclimating to life in their new world.
The man was eccentrichis hair had been ash gray since his twenties, and he
wore an eye patch. Most days, he covered the bottom half of his face with patterned silk
scarves. Sakura whod never known anyone in her old life to do the same unless they
were grossly disfiguredby war, or some other maladyhad asked him about it once,
but hed dismissed her with a pat on the head, and said simply that hed made his living
wearing different faces, and couldnt stand the sight of his own anymore. He lived his life
with a strange sort of lethargy that bled into his movements, into his habits.
His wife was at once sprightly and neurotica woman who wore her worry like
a terminal disease. Sakura thought her familiar, and lovely for the fact. Her wardrobe was
carefully dated, her manners and air only slightly antiquated, as though she was
determined to live in some not-too-distant past. Shizune was an expatriate, and on
Sakuras arrival, shed told her that she knew what it was to live halfwayI have been
doing it for fifteen years.
She lived with them as happily as she could have, and developed her own habits,
her own quiet idiosyncrasies. She read novelsa practice which, she found, helped her
learn the language far more than speaking to other people. She found novelty in the
housework, and spent the better part of the day rearranging her socks according to first
color, then length, then material. She drank her teathe one thing then and now had in
commonwith lemon. There was the ever interminable sensation of waiting, but waiting
for what, she did not knowdid not know what it was that came next.
There had been music at the halfway house, and shed taken to it more than the
food, than the clothing, than the language. One evening, after a late lunch with Shizune
before shed left on a trip around the world with the man Sakura still couldnt call
Fathershed sat in the audience of a nearby lounge and listened to the words in the
songs they sang. She hoped the distinctive color of her hair and eyes would not mark her
off as a foreigner, but the manager had spotted her nonetheless, and intrigued by her
storyand then, when he heard it, by her voicehed asked her to sing for him.
I dont know your songs, shed replied.
So sing your own, hed urged her in return. You have oneI can tell its so,
by the look of your hands. My mother told me that a woman with scars on her hands
always had good stories to telland good stories make good songs.
She thought through what was left of her memories, and tried to remember a
time for music.
II
he
II
The dreams came less frequently now, a fact for which he was almost grateful.
Sasuke couldnt remember what it was to be gratefulhow it felt, and how it tasted in his
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mouth. Perhaps, he thought, this heavy weight he felt at waking was it, after all. He woke
less frequently in the night, and slept more often in the daytime, and the respite was a
blessing.
When he was awake, he lingered instead of livedhere, in the alien landscape
of the new home he hadnt chosen, Sasuke knew he should have felt freer. There was no
blame here, no leader hed disappointed, no treason hed committed. He spent most of his
days in the cafs near the abandoned warehouse hed found. Hed carved a home for
himself in the listlessness of the placefelt the ghosts in it mourning like the old friends
hed left behind, felt a strange kinship to the machines, rotted with rust and age. Theyd
outlived their usefulnessthey were obsolete.
Some nights he visited the lounges, armed with old newspapers hed scrounged
up from the newsboys. The one who sold his wares closest to the factory had become an
almost frienda waif between sexes, with doll-eyes, and a penchant for green spandex.
The first time hed seen him, Sasuke thought he was familiar for a moment, and tried to
remember until the sensation of it began to burn.
(He thought maybe that they might have warned him about that, but he couldnt
be sure.)
The first night hed been at the lounge near the shopping districtthe one with a
foreign name, with the black leather seats, and the lamps that spread more like shadow
than lighthed been unimpressed. Not with the dcoreven back where hed come
from, aesthetics had never concerned him. Hed come to forget Forgettingthis place,
with its dark, dusty corners and mottled gray walls seemed to lend itself to memory.
***
It had been a Tuesday when he changed his mind.
The song was mournful and slow, like the look in her bright green eyes, solemn
and slow, low and melancholic in a way that somehow hurt him to contemplate. He was
reminded, somehow, of autumn-gold and falling leaves, buildings burning brightly, and
clay grounds spotted with pieces of blood-rusted solver, shining under moonlight like
silver teeth, and then
Nothing.
You must be new around here, fellow, the man beside him said slowly, a fact
that left Sasuke feeling almost grateful. He was only still getting used to the foreign
sound of softly rolled r's and feather-soft f's.
How can you tell? Sasuke replied, haltingly. A foreign feeling to be sure
Sasuke was inexplicably certain that beforebefore the Forgettinghe'd never hesitated
a moment in his life. His hand twitched at his sidehe wondered whether it was muscle
memory that had been the cause of the sudden weight against his fingers, whether it had
just been yet another craving for nicotine. Sasuke found himself more disposed to the
former explanation, when, without warning, first his fingers, then his hands, and then his
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eyes, and then, in increments, every piece of him, was drawn to the woman on stage, as
though there was a tangible connection between them, as though she'd pulled them into
her, like a puppeteer, like an ocean.
As he watched, the other man smiled, but incompletely, as though his face had
forgotten the motions and had settled for this half-expression.
Well, you're looking at our girl like you've never heard anything so lovely in
your life.
I haven't, Sasuke replied honestly. Or maybe he had. His memory was dust
now, after all; not enough left of it to form bones, and not nearly enough left to bury.
The man snorted.
She'd get me more money if she sang something different once in a while. But
the idiot girl just goes on singing the same old songthe regulars get tired after a while,
you know?
Yes, Sasuke said fluidly, because lying came easier to him now that he didn't
know the whole of the truth anymore, and the lies seemed to come, like water, like bile.
I can see how that would be so.
The other man responded with something inconsequential, Sasuke was sure. If it
had mattered, he would, after all, have heard it.
***
He stayed until half-past three in the morning, waiting to catch a glimpse of the
girl he didnt remember. Sasuke wanted to see what she was when she was quiethe had
the inexplicable feeling that the sensation of it, of her silence, had been a rare commodity
back when hed known her name. He couldnt yet describe what it was that made him so
sure that he knew her. Perhaps he didntperhaps only his eyes did, only his hands did,
only his fingers did.
Perhaps only his mouth knew her. He wasnt sure. Maybe it was muscle
memory, the way hed thought earlier.
From his perch on the windowsill on the second floor of the factory, Sasuke
watched her as she made her way around the corner, the moonlight playing over hair like
smoke, before he turned away to dream again.
***
On the twelfth night, shed come in a mans shirt, and Sasuke had come with a
blank piece of paper.
(It belongs to the man I live with. Hes on a trip with the woman I live with.
Theyve gone around the world, said Sakura, smiling cheekily before her nightly round.
Theyll be back before the eighty days are up, Im sure.)
Nothing, said Sasuke.)
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As she sang, he sat and watched her, his eyes flickering every so often to the ash
of the candlewick near his right hand. Would that pass for ink, he wondered. Would he
even know what, know how to write? Sasuke hadnt tried writing, yet, and before hed
seen herthis phantom in pinkhe hadnt any reason to.
You need a pen?
He turned his head slightly to the side, just enough to see the face of the
manager. In the candlelight, it was more shadow than substance, and the flame made his
face look almost ghastly.
I dont know, Sasuke saidhonestly, this time.
***
In the daylight, when he wasnt sleeping, Sasuke drew for his alms. He had a
fair hand at portraits, and had keen eyesight for as long as he could rememberwhich, he
admitted to himself once, didnt really say much.
Mostly, thoughand he knew this for a factpeople came to him because he
was beautiful.
There were two other artists beside him on the same streetin the art district,
street vendors were a dime a dozen. One was blond, and missing an eye. There was a
single hole, the width of a paintbrush, in the center of each of his palms, but he drew with
the precision of a scientist. The leaves he captured seemed to move on the page, and the
shadows he drew were almost eerily precise.
Beside him, there was a man with scars running the length of his face. The top
of his head seemed to have been carved outhe looked, Sasuke thought, like one of the
kappa hed read about in the Trivia section of the newspaper a few weeks ago. Sasuke
wondered if hed been tortured, but thought it indelicate to ask. There was, after all, no
telling what would offend a body.
Given the options, Sasuke wasnt much surprised that the majority of business
had come his way. The women fawned over him, and many times, there had been slips of
paper with hotel rooms, and house addresses, and telephone numberseven, on one
memorable occasion, a license plate numberconcealed in the money theyd handed him
while their husbands were looking away. He took it all with a silence that seemed to
offend them far more than an outright refusal, and one-by-one, they hurried away,
clutching at their indignation like coats of armor.
He wondered sometimes, why the other two painters didnt move on, but never
asked. This had, after all, been their territory, far long before it had become his.
***
Three months went by, before he remembered her name and who shed been to
him.
Six more came before he realized that theyd given her Lethe.
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***
The drug had been in its experimental stage when Pain had asked him to
infiltrate the home hed abandoned under the guise of surrender, in order to steal a
sample. The neurological effects were unclear, and the battery of psychological tests that
Konoha had run on its POWs had been anything but reassuring. All that was sure was it
induced Forgetting. It was a mark of Sakuras clout with their leader that the man she
loved had been allowed a job as a guard of the Research and Development section of the
military base where theyd grown up, so soon after his release from house arrest. It was
her reputation theyd risked, her standing among the military generals that hed willfully
sacrificed.
After hed leftfor the second timewith sample in hand, shed been detained
as an accessory to his escape, and demoted two ranks. Hed heard, soon after that
Tsunade had never looked at her in the same light.
***
The first words he said to her were:
I kissed you, the last time I saw you.
He said them in a mix of their old language and in the newmostly because
hed never been good with words, and mostly because knowing two languages didnt
make him any better. Knowing two, he thought, only made it easier to bungle his
meaning.
In any case, she looked remarkably composed for someone who was confronted
by a stranger halfway between night and morning.
I think Ive heard that one before, she said, almost courteously. Sasuke
thought perhaps that she might have been tiredshed sounded a bit peaky at her
performance tonight. She paused for a moment, peering at him underneath the dusky
glow of a nearby street lamp. For a brief second, Sasuke wondered if her eyes
remembered him. After another moment, she sidestepped him to cross the street.
Despite himself, and despite their history, Sasuke found himself unable to
control the brief curving of his lips.
***
It was after that encounterthe first real acknowledged encounter between their
other selvesthat Sasuke began having trouble with sleeping.
Instead, he drew more, and made more moneysoon, after hed outgrown the
factory and what it was to him, Sasuke thought hed leave it behind.
But nothing mattered if he couldnt sleep. Sleeping was the conduit to their lost
worldthe one hed forsaken, the one shed forgotten. He didnt know what drove him
to remember, what drove him to make her remember. He thought once, that it might have
been the burden of knowing he was the very last of a civilizationthe last of a dying
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breed.
He knew nothing but that he needed to dream again, and to dreamhe needed
to sleep.
III.
they
III.
In retrospect, one, or both of them thought, the problem had been this:
Sakura was too tired to remember what theyd been to each other, and Sasuke
was too tired to forget.
***
Theyd found each other in the middle of an open market. Shizune had lost track
of her after a fruit vendor pushing durian and lychee had offered her samples of his
wares. Sakura had allowed her feet to take her where they willed, and almost unbidden,
theyd walked until theyd lost her in the midst of the crowd.
He was perusing the art stand with the intent to buy more charcoal, when he felt
the sudden slight weight of her at his side. At first, she looked almost resigned to their
meeting, then almost happy, and inexplicably, almost sadanything but almost
surprised.
Oh, she said. Its you.
It is, he agreed solemnly.
IV.
now
IV.
The caf had been his suggestion, and he apologized for his lateness.
He did not apologize for what she couldnt remember, though he told her in
detail what hed done to her. He told her of his second betrayal and then of his second
returnafter shed been run to tatters, and before Tsunade had made her leave. He told
her what his punishment had beenhow hed administered the Lethe to her in
increments, and then, how hed been told to turn the weapon on himself, incorrectly by
design so that he would remember some, but not all of it.
There were no hysterics, no overwrought accusations. She listened with the
serenity of any woman listening to an account of a past lifeof a lost life, of a world at
once lost and familiar. She felt the phantom pain of loss at the sound of Narutos name,
but it ached less than the more recent pain of a fall shed taken a few hours prior, on her
way down the stairs. She wondered, for a moment, whether she should have felt guilty.
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It was only when he shifted toneswhen he started speaking in their shared
languagethat she reacted.
How do you remember? she asked again, though hed already explained it.
She spoke for the sake of speaking, talking to him in their dead language, as she felt the
sharp angles of his cheeks, the aristocratic line of his nose. She was, she thought,
constructing him nowreconstructing her old, forgotten world in incrementsin the
same way that hed deconstructed her memory, with only fingers as her guide. What a
power it was, she thought in wonder, as her eyes fluttered shut.
How do you remember almost everything? she repeated.
She felt him shrug under her fingers in reply.
My punishment, he said simply. My burden to bear. They did not allow me
to completely Forget what Id doneat least, they did not allow me to forget the
betrayal. What good there was, they took from me.
And then, she continued, as she stepped back for a moment. She needed to
breathe. And then, you found me, and remembered meam I your punishment too?
He looked at her for a long while, considering her green eyes, her thin lips, their
own shared historyeven he, could not deny that now. He wondered if he wanted to.
I dont know, yet, he said. A beat, and thenDo you want to be? Ive hurt
you before, you know.
She looked at him for a long while then. Her eyes remembered him, but her
body didntshe would have to relearn him, this man who spoke to her in words that had
long ago turned to dust.
Iyou she stammeredher lives with him had taught her to be unsure.
Yes, he said simply, making no effort to avoid her eyes. This time, Im
giving you a choice.
Sakura thought for a moment, about the pain she couldnt remember and the
shame he couldnt forget. She thought about what it was theyd had beforewhether it
had been love then, whether it might be now. She thought that he was giving her a choice
this timethis third life to live, with or without him.
She knew, with no hesitation, that if she refused him, he would leave again.
No, she said, in answer to her thought, in answer to his question.
Sasuke, Sakura noticed, looked mildly surprisedshe felt oddly gratified, as
though that might have been a small victory.
No, she repeated, more firmly this time. Her fingers echoed her sentiment,
curling into fists at his collar, and wrinkling the fabric there.
Sasuke looked at her, thoughtfully, and then nodded.
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Again, he asked, as though to confirm it.
This time, she did not hesitatethis time, she thought, it and they would be
different.
Again.
The Artist
You close your eyes as you let the crescendos and the decrescendos of
Beethovens Appassionata sweep over you, engulf you, hopefully consume you.
Music is supposed to help you get into the mood
Or at least thats what she told you.
But you think that she may have been wrong because your canvas is still as
shamefully empty as it was before you played the track. And youre worried that this
might just be the first failure that youll encounter in your two years of art school.
Abstracts have never been your thing.
You let your heart guide your hand when you paint abstracts, she told you.
Its the easiest thing in the world, theres no pressure at all, its cathartic even, she said.
But what happens when the heart is empty?
Your eyes flutter open as the last notes of the melody die out.
Nothing. Still nothing.
Sighing, you lower your brush, still clean and still dry, and lay it on the table
alongside your palette, also yet to be touched.
You have to do something, or you wont have anything to submit.
Youve never been one to dally. You cant force yourself to paintyou cant
youve never had to. But theres a first time for everythingand your canvas is still
white, white because its clean. White because its empty, because theres nothing
thereand you really have to do something productive, something that can help.
Something
Reading has always helped you. Maybe, if you read about the matter, you can
find out what it is that youre doing wrong.
So you press the stop button on the not-really-helpful CD player you
borrowed, shove it into your bag, and head to the library because youve never been one
to dally.
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***
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You see her there, sitting in her usual spot, her nose in a book and her head in
the clouds. Not quite so absorbed in what shes reading, (she spots you as you approach
her, a cheeky smile on the ready).
Hey ugly, you call out. The usual greetings. The usual responses.
Shut up Sai.
Afraid of a little honesty, hag?
You watch her smile disappear as her expression contorts into one of irritation.
Shes not ugly, not really. People say shes beautiful. Then again, you wont know.
Beauty takes ones breath away, according to a book youve read. If that is true, then
you see beauty only when its painted on a canvas. You dont see it in Sakura, nor do
you see it in other women.
But ugly infuriates her, and you like it when shes angry, because its like a
lesson on facial expressions. The downward set of her mouth, the creases on her
forehead, the slight flush on her cheeksyou memorize it all for later, when you translate
it to art. Its useful. You learn from her anger, so you call her ugly.
You dont push her though, because you know that she has a mean right hook.
Instead, you take the player from your bag and hand it over to her.
Youre done with the project? she asks as she takes the player from you.
You shake your head and take a seat across from her.
So music didnt work, huh?
Again, you shake your head at her. She looks at you for a while before standing
up and walking towards the shelves. She is perceptive, and you know that shell be back
with the books you need.
You know, Im surprised. Youve never had any trouble with the other
projects before. In fact, you aced them all. So, why are you having trouble with this
one?
You watch her as she lays a book down before she skims the pages.
Cant you just let your heart guide your hand like I told you? Youre over-
thinking the whole thing, I think. Justhey! What are you staring at?
Only at the way the sunlight streaming through the window turns her pink hair
into a fascinating shade of strawberry blonde
I think youve gotten uglier, ugly. Havent been sleeping well?
Evade. Lie. Save. Somehow, it doesnt seem right to tell her how your mind is
busy looking for the right colors to mix to get the exact same shadepink, of course
and sienna maybe a bit of yellow, a dash of white
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Hey, youre this close to having your fingers broken, one byoh who am I
kidding? Youre right, Sai. I havent been sleeping well.
A little bit of orange, no orange might not work rose, rose might work
Its just thathes back, SaiSasuke-kun is back.
Rose or pink and what?
What?
Sasuke-kuns back. He enrolled andwell
Her voice is laced with worry and fear and something, and it is only now that
you really do take the time to noticeher eyes do look more tired than usual.
You watch her for a while, gauge her reaction. You dont really understand her.
Sasukes back. Wasnt that what she wanted?
Wasnt that what youve always wanted?
Well...II supposeyes, yes, that was what I wanted but
Afraid that Sasuke-kun will bolt the moment he sees how ugly youve gotten?
You watch the landscape of her face change from a worried one to an annoyed
one. But somehow, you know that insulting her is the right thing to do. Same insults.
Different Results. Its weird. You dont think youll ever understand people. Theyre
much toocontradictory.
No! Of course not! Im not
Then, why arent you out there celebrating with them? I take it that Dickless is
already with him?
Yes, well
Are you not his friend, if nothing else?
You watch her face change againits fascinating really. She seems happy,
determined, and yet strangely sorrowful. You never quite realize what it is that youve
said wrong but apparently
Friend yeah Hey, you know what, Sai? Youre right. Im going there
right now.
Your musings are cut short when she gets up and gathers her things into her bag
haphazardly. She takes ten steps away from you before she stops and looks back.
So, I guess this is goodbye IThanks, Sai.
You think that this must be the most sincere smile she has ever given youits
completely different from the fake ones that she always sports and fools you with. But
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you cant shake off the feeling that her farewell somehow meant more. And you feel
disconcerted? You dont knowyou never know.
What you do know, however, is that Uchiha Sasuke is back.
And things will change.
Its probably one of the most clairvoyant statements youve ever madethings
will change.
And indeed they do.
Although, you think that its still a bit of an understatement
Things will change.
The understatement of the year.
Everything will change mustve been more accurate.
***
Its no secret that youre not in tune with your emotions. But you do know
enough to realize that things have taken an unpleasant turn.
For one thing, you are now second best.
Hes good at painting and drawing and sculpting and everything else involving
arteven musical instrumentshes everything that theyve said he would be.
Hes the schools legend.
Hes the proverbial wasted talent who dropped out of school for pursuits much
too dark and dreary to be forgiven, and on the eve of a particularly important interschool
contest, no less. Traitor, they call him. But now hes back and much too talented to be
ignored.
Hes particularly good at painting. A lot like you, but different. He has less
technique, less refinement, less color, less accuracyand yet, hes better. His works are
right up there with Picasso and Monet and Rembrandt and every other great artist who
have earned a place in the history bookshis works take your breath away and you dont
know how you feel about it. You suspect, though, that your normal neutral mood has
shifted slightly towards the negative.
The great masters are great because they combine great talent with great
passion, she told you once when you asked her. You winced at the redundant use of the
word great back then and threw her an insult just for the heck of it, but you didnt really
mind because shes a good conversationalistalways engaging and always informative
and always eager. You enjoy her company, just like you enjoy Narutos, only more,
because she provokes thoughts and insights and talks intelligently. And youre not happy
at all that its hard to come by now that she has gone into hiding.
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Youd like to see her again. You really havent gotten the right shade of pink
yet that day, at the library
She never did go to her friends that day.
Hey Sai!
So lost in your thoughts, you fail to see them approach you. You ignore
Narutos greeting, choosing instead to stare at his companion. He appears all too rude
and arrogant, standing there indifferently with his hands in his pockets, but you smile
nonethelesspolite and so utterly fake. You rack your head for an insulta nickname
provoking and
Dicklessas you so warmly call himappears to see through your intentions
and steps in before you can find a new nickname for the traitor. You divert your gaze
and smile instead at the one who is talking to you.
Sai, do you happen to know where Sakura-chan is? Iweve been trying to
find her these past few days, but to no avail. Weve looked everywhere. And we asked
the librarian, she said that you and Sakura-chan were talking in the library the day that
Teme here arrived. He gestures to his companion, who is standing behind him with an
air of impatience and annoyance and something else. So I thought that maybe you
know
I dont know where Ugly is.
He looks at you then, and all thoughts of insults and nicknames flee from your
head as you see that his eyes are dark and black and abysmal and terrible and empty-but-
not-quite
Your smile falters.
***
You dont exactly like how he makes you feel.
Its uncomfortable and unpleasant and you dont like it. You try your best not to
get affected but its hardespecially when hes in front of you, nimble hands ghosting
over a canvas.
Youre doing self-portraits today.
Your hold on your paint brush tightensits not supposed toand theres a
smudge where your ear should be. Its an error you wont be able to rectify.
You sigh as you move your own canvas out of the way so that you can start
anew. Without your canvas, your view of his back and his work is unobstructed. And his
eye stares back at you from the canvasdark, cold black.
Charcoalhe chooses charcoal.
You can never quite put up an empty new canvas fast enough.
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You dont exactly like how he makes you feel.
***
One of the few things that you know about yourself is your need to understand,
your need to comprehend and it is this need that drives you to Yamanaka Inos humble
apartment.
She is here.
You know, because her drab, battered, much-too-old sneakers lying
unobtrusively in the corner are the first things you notice.
Ahh. Sai-kun, what brings you here?
Inos voiceshrill and high distracts you from your object of interest. It doesnt
matter anyway. It doesnt matter if Sakura is here. Youve come here for Inogossip
extraordinaire, indispensable fountain of information.
I wanted to ask
She nods, silently urging you to continue.
about Uchiha Sasuke.
And you pretend not to have heard the soft gasp from the direction of the
kitchen. You pretend not to have noticed Inos worried glance towards that direction.
Its easier. But Ino is wily, and she grins at you in a way thats only short of menacing,
and you cant help but think twice about your decision to come.
Ahh, Sasuke-kun has even caught the attention of the Prince of Apathy here,
eh?
You dont answer because you dont know what to say. So you choose to
remain silent, let her draw her own conclusions, let her think.
A pregnant pause follows; she waits for you to react, to defend yourself, to
splutter and be embarrassed and do things that you should never give her the satisfaction
of seeing. So, instead, you continue to smile at her, still polite, still fake.
Taking the hint, she continues.
What do you want to know about Sasuke-kun exactly?
Anything worth knowing, you answer. Its vague, but enough for Ino to
launch into her litany of facts and figures about Uchiha Sasuke.
He was eight, you know when his whole family was murdered
And so, you learn the tale of a prestigious clan betrayed and disgraced,
butchered with a brutality that bordered on insanity. You learn of the boy who was left
behind to suffer through it all. You learn of the sacrifices made as the boy followed the
dark path of revenge. You learn of the bonds brokenthe friendships forsaken, the love
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relinquished. You learn of anger and hatred and greed and treachery. You learn of
Uchiha Sasuke.
His life would be a blockbuster if it was a movie. Who wouldve ever thought
that there were still people in this world who pursued larger-than-life revenge goals?
Or maybe Inos just a masterful storyteller.
Or a liar.
Or a gossip.
Because really, if Uchiha Sasuke got his revenge, then shouldnt he be in prison
right now for murder?
SuicideUchiha Itachi died of suicideits all over the news. Certainly, the
school wont accept someone who right? The school wont do that.
What you do know, though, is that a lot of things are clearer now that you know
the story.
You glance out the window and note that the bright blue sky has given way to
the dark indigo of night.
Well, its getting late. Its time for me to leave. Thank you for your time.
A polite smile. A polite bow.
Its funnywhat people will do for nothing at all...
Yamanaka Ino practically spends her whole afternoon talking. It mustve been
tiring. And yet she does it for free.
Humans are weird.
You close the door behind you, slip your feet into your shoes, and stoop to tie
the shoelaces. Youll leave now, but the voices drifting from inside the room are much
too interesting.
Hes gone now, Sakura. You can come out.
Eavesdropping is bad, but you dont really care.
Ino, you know, you really painted Sasuke-kun in a bad light in your story.
Ah, Forehead girl, I was just being honest. The guys a bastard. I dont know
why youre still so crazy about him even after he left you on that bench.
Hes not a bastard, Ino-pig.
If hes such a prince charming, then why are you hiding from him, eh?
I never said he was a prince charm
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Now, Saihes a wonderful hunk of man. And Im pretty sure his inquiry
about Sasuke was half because of you. He might even like you!
Wrong.
Women are such frivolous and assuming creatures.
No! Im pretty sure I had nothing to do with Sais sudden curiosity about
Sasuke-kun! He cant possibly like me that way! Hes Sai! Sai doesnt like-like anyone!
Besides
Besides?
Besides?
Hes not Sasuke-kun
And somehow, you cant help but wonder if that last comment has anything to
do with the sudden urgency with which you are now tying your shoelaces.
***
Shes at Yamanaka Inos house.
You cant help but feel slightly ill at ease here at the roof top.
Theres a breathtaking sunsetbeautiful, picturesque, serene, a perfect soup of
orange and yellow, and red, red, redand then theres Uchiha Sasuke.
Uchiha Sasuke, who a few moments ago was brushing furiously at a canvas,
now stares at you with an expression that you cant quite understandtheres gratitude
but theres mistrust and annoyance and resentment? Impossible. Why will he feel any
resentment towards you?
And you cant quite take the quiet intensity of his eyes, eerily reflecting the
sunset in such a way that they look impossibly red. And with eyes like that, you can
easily believe that he really is capable of leaving the girl he secretly loved unprotected on
a bench, that he really injured Naruto bad enough in a fight to have induced a semi-coma,
that he could have murdered his brother and made it look like suicide; that you can
believe all those larger-than-life stories about him and that he scares you more than youll
like to admit. So you divert your gazeyou stare at something familiar, something
niceyou stare at his painting.
You wonder if the red, red blood on that much-too-morbid battlefield was
somehow inspired by the red, red sunset because, really, theyre the same shade the
exact same shade
Its only apt that the most unsettling person youve ever met also makes the
most unsettling paintings.
You are roused from your musings when he sets down his brush and stands up.
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Are you sure? he asks, voice much too deep and much too serious to belong to
a teenager but only much too appropriate for Uchiha Sasuke.
Yes.
He leaves you then, paintbrushes in his pocket and canvas tucked under his arm,
the only indication of his gratitude is a brusque nod in your direction. And it is all you
can do to keep from sighing in relief.
You are smiling at him, always polite and always fake, but he never does return
the smile. And you cant help but wonder how itll feel like if you greet the world the
same way Uchiha Sasuke doesno pretenses, no hiding your ugliness.
You stare at his retreating back, disappointed that you can never find a suitable
insult for him. Ugly is already taken, after all. And you sure as hell cant call him
beautiful.
***
A series of events are set into motion by your little information leakage. Events
that look like they came straight out of a sappy romance storya bad one at that, or in
Uglys own words: one where the womans so frustratingly weak-willed and the mans
just a chauvinistic pig that gets a lot of undeserved love.
And youre just lucky (or unlucky) enough to get a front row seat to all the
insanity.
That your new apartment is located across the Yamanaka residence, you can
attribute to pure coincidence. But that Uchiha Sasuke is your new roommatethat is the
hand of fate at work.
Its not fair, really. Fate has such a sick sense of humor.
Its just your luck to be lumped in the same house as the most unsettling person
on the planet.
And hes a bit of a peeping tom too, in a scary stalker-ish kind of way.
But apparently, hes a peeping tom with a good eye because he can recreate that
elusive shade of pink-that-looks-like-strawberry-blonde that you simply cant ever get no
matter how hard you try.
Its a beautiful painting, really. This rendition of Sakura tending to some
flowers on a balconya plethora of pinks and yellows and greens and bluesall in
pastel, delicate, devoid of boldness, muted down, weakened.
All wrong.
Youve never had to clench your fists to keep them from moving until now.
And this scares you because youve never been impulsive before. How can you, when
youve never even had an impulse, desirepassion. You dont have those. And each
and every thing you do in life is as precise as your brush strokes.
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Something tells you its because hes somehow being an asshole. Hes being
unfair to Sakura. This painting, this beautiful painting of his, is an insult to your friends
character.
Except, she has never been your friend, has she?
She has always been his friend just as Naruto is his friend as well.
So where does that leave you?
In the fringes, the edges, the border, the frame
And you cant help but wonder
Is the frame still part of the picture?
Something tells you its not.
***
Youre smacked right in the middle of the mayhem, and you cant help but think
that the fringes wouldve been a much better place.
Pass the ramen, will ya?
But as it is, here you are, pressing your face at the window, prayingyes,
prayingto God in heaven that Sakura will surrender. Yeah, shes your friend and all,
but you dont think you can take another moment of Narutos incessant whining.
Theres no more ramen left, Dickless.
Its bad enough that hes living in your apartment without paying any rent. But
this
Then can you make some, please?
this is just too much.
Why dont you make your own ramen? Or does your lack of penis prevent you
from doing so?
I cant! Sakura-chan might come out and I might miss the whole thing. And
what do penises have to do with ramen, anyway? Please make ramen?
You dont really know if hes consciously trying to manipulate you or if hes
just stupid.
No.
He doesnt look like hes planning anything bad.
Aww please?
No.
In fact, he looks downright innocent.
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Ill fart
Ah, manipulation.
Too bad, though, because you fall for it completely.
It doesnt matter anyway. Its not like watching Sasuke angst under the rain is
more interesting than making ramen.
You sigh as you stand up; best to get things over with, after all.
Its awful, reallythis business. Youre being manipulated into making ramen,
and you already feel miserable. Sakuras being manipulated into forgiveness (and love,
Uchiha Sasuke says, but he already has that and therefore doesnt need to do any
manipulation to get ithe just doesnt know it yet) and you cant even begin to imagine
how that must make her feel. Its weirdthat love will be easier to come by than
forgiveness.
Hes persistent, thoughUchiha Sasukefor two weeks, he never falters in his
daily trek to Inos house, always asking for Sakura and always being denied. Two weeks
of his fruitless efforts and he switches to a new tacticstanding outside for a full hour,
just staring at Sakuras window. Hes been doing it every single day, for about a week
now.
And youve thought hell give up today, what with the torrential downpour. But
as it is, he has just seen the rain as a perfect opportunity to coax her out.
Naruto acknowledges his genius. You just think that hes a first class asshole.
Still, though, faced with the reality and the gravity of the situation, you cant
help but wish that Sakura wont give in. Its something you dont quite understand. But
you tell yourself that its for her sake, that she wont fall head first into a relationship in
which she will more likely end up miserable than happy.
God forbid that youre wishing it for your own sake. You wouldnt
Oi Sai! Come here! Somethings happening!
But then, why is your heart throbbing in the most unpleasant way as you rush to
the window, dread and urgency melding into wobbling knees and a knot in your
stomach?
As it is, youre just in time to see Sakura collapse into Sasukes arms in a way
that you can only describe as complete abandon, and the latters triumphantly arrogant
smirk as she does so.
You want to hate him, really. But you cantnot when you see how
uncharacteristically soft his eyes are as he returns the fierce embrace. If you dont know
him any better, youll say hes holding back tears, maybe even crying. But you cant
really tell because its raining. Sakura, though, is a different matter altogether, her
unabashed sobbing audible even through the din of the pouring rain.
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Its a scene straight out of a cheesy romantic movie, indeed. The frustratingly
weak female and the chauvinistic pig of a male locked in a needy embrace underneath a
shower of rain. Its so clich, its disgusting. And Narutos hoots of victory are just
making matters worse.
But with your trusty fake smile plastered on your face, none of your true
feelings are betrayed.
A damn good thing too, because you can hear Sakuras half-hearted complaints
of what a moron Sasuke-kun is and how stupid Sasuke-kun is and how its Sasuke-
kuns fault if he gets sick through the door. And it opens and you see him come in, a
soaked Sakura clutching the sleeves of his equally soaked gray jacket, and you realize
immediately that your suspicions are true, because the redness of his eyes betrays the
tears he had shed.
Youd say youve lost some respect for him for his lack of control over his
emotions.
But youre miserable and hes content and somehow you feel like the loser.
***
The only good thing about the days that follow is the stability that the
denouement brought. Without the drama, without the angst, and after that much-too-
typical climax of the silly love story and the equally silly loving-girl-makes-chicken-
soup-for-sick-boy skit that had followed, life has dulled into a steady pacewith
everyone content and happy except for you.
Hey, Sasuke-kun, whats the title of this painting?
Sunset.
But its a battlefield.
Yes, Sakura, obviously, the sun sets in battlefields too.
Couldnt you have chosen the sunset over a sea or over aaI dont know,
somewhere happier?
Dont bother, Sakura-chan, thats just the way Teme expresses all his deepest
and darkest morbid thoughts.
But stability is a little mercy that youll gladly accept. Little mercies, after all,
are hard to come by these days, especially with Naruto becoming a permanent fixture in
your apartmentfreeloading and loving it. At the very least, though, his presence in the
apartment prevents you from feeling like a third wheel, especially when Sakura comes to
visit.
Shes wonderful, really, lavishing attention upon both you and Naruto equally.
Its a social skill, you think, thats very importantthis tact and this kind consideration
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for the feelings of others. You wonder if it comes naturally to her, or if its something
she consciously does.
Sasuke, though, is a different matter. Even with Sakuras superb social skills, he
is still put on a pedestal far higher than either you or Naruto, and he expects to be put
there or else or else, hell sulk.
How about this one, Sasuke-kun, whats its title?
Hospital.
What?
Its a hospital
You turn your head, curious at whats happening. You see Sakura looking at a
painting, her face contorted into an expression of confusion.
But its grotesque
Doubly curious now, you saunter over to where she and Naruto are standing to
peer into the painting yourself. As it is, its a really grotesque painting of a white
building that looks like its about to eat people up, propped against a grayish and reddish
sky that seems equally foreboding. The only indication that its really a hospital is the
symbol above the huge doors, the one with two snakes and some sort of rod.
On the walls of the hospital are souls, seemingly embedded into the very
concrete, done in the same way that the renaissance painters did, only this time, their
expressions are wrought with an expression of pure agony and misery that youve never
really seen anywhere else.
And you cant help but be in awe at the sheer genius of the painting.
Thats the point.
His voice, a deep baritone, sounds scathing and condescending as he talks to
her. But she seems oblivious to it as she prods on.
But the hospital is a good thing, Sasuke-kun. Its a place where many people
get saved.
No. Its a place where people die.
B-But, those who die are already dying when theyoh never mind. I dont
need to listen to your cynical view of the world. Anyway, Im pretty late for my
appointment with Tsunade-shishou, see you later Sai, Naruto and Sasuke-kun, try to
think happier thoughts next time, hm? Love you. Bye bye.
And you watch her as she goes over to her Sasuke-kun to give him a peck on the
cheek, which he receives impassively, before going out the door. And you cant help but
decide now that the stories about him probably arent true, because how can a man
without scruples deserve happiness like this?
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Conveniently, you forget that justice, in a world like this, is a mere myth.
Whats that one called?
And you can hardly believe that its your voice speaking and that youre actually
gesturing to what hes uncovering at this very moment. He looks at you, then, eyes
calculating and scrutinizing, with an underlying hostility that even Naruto can sense.
You know, because at the corner of your eye, you can see him tensing, getting ready,
perhaps, to stop an impending fight.
But your mind can only focus on the person youre looking atUchiha Sasuke,
still silent, probably deliberating whether to give an answer or to beat you up. And for a
moment, you think that hes probably leaning towards the latter.
Redemption.
He turns away from you then, continues uncovering the canvas, picks up his
brush, dips it in red and white and a bit of yellow, and adds the final touches to the rose-
colored hair of the girl in the painting.
***
Days pass by and you find a place for yourself in this posse, somewhere in
between past and present and somehow, if things continue this way, youve assured
yourself a place in the future. Its a queer relationship, thats for sure. The dynamics can
be confusing at times, almost like a complicated dance, but its workable and you might
even say that youre content.
You and Naruto are the same as always, with him bristling at your off-hand
comments about his masculinity and his penis. You can even call him your friend, and
vice versa, probably.
You and Sasuke are hardly friends. You dont even have conversations with
him at all. But you do unite against Naruto, whom you both find incredibly stupid. Its
not as much of a friendship as an alliance and you guess thats the most you can have
with him.
With Sakura, though, things have gone a bit awry. You dont really know where
you stand when it comes to her. Its weirdbut somehow, talking to her suddenly seems
a bit forbidden ever since she and Sasuke became official. Though, that doesnt make
much sense, because Naruto treats her just as he always has. And, logically, nothing
shouldve changed between the two of you.
And when three of you are together, its always either Sasuke, Naruto, and you
or Naruto, Sakura, and you or the three of them excluding you. Its never Sasuke,
Sakura, and you because you always find yourself shunning that situationits irrational
and illogical and totally uncharacteristic of you, but you cant seem to help yourself. And
if they have noticed this, then theyre certainly not saying.
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Still, though, its a peace that you wont trade for any other. Because the routine
has turned you somewhat numb and therefore somewhat closer to whats normal for
youthat is, the state of the world before Uchiha Sasuke came.
***
You would never have expected that it would be you yourself who would break
the humdrum.
It all started with a random decision to go to the library once againa habit that,
like your conversations with Sakura, had died once Uchiha Sasuke arrived. You were
trying (and failing) once again to work on your abstract and the thought of the impending
deadline spurned you to take action.
You saw her there, wearing a cream-colored cashmere sweater, and a sense of
dj vu washed over you immediately. Logic told you to walk out before she saw you
but instead, you found yourself walking over to her.
Your conversation started out normal enoughjust as always, with insults and
admonishments and a few half-hearted hows life going for you type questions. But
immediately after the typical pleasantries and unpleasantries, things started getting
awkward.
And you found yourself silently staring at howagainthe light from the
window colors her hair in a pretty shade of strawberry blonde. She too, seemed quite
uneasy, and was making fake little coughing sounds to compensate for the silence.
However, instead of helping her alleviate the awkwardness of the situation, you just had
to make it worse by reaching out to touch her hair.
It was impulsive and uncharacteristic and telling because for someone as
uncommunicative and as unfeeling as you, the simple action spoke volumes. You didnt
even know what you did until you saw her look at you with the most confused
expression, her mouth slack and her eyes wide with shock.
You instantly pulled your hand back as if you were burned, took one step
backwards, gave a small bow, said goodbye, and walked out the door, your heart
swimming with feelings that your head struggled hard to trivialize.
That you switched apartments the next day, however, was proof that it was not
nothing as you so wanted it to be. It irked you that whatever you had gained the
previous years were all shattered by that single moment of impulsivity, but whats done
was done and theres nothing you could do.
Your only solace was that Naruto and Sasuke appeared to have no idea
whatsoever about whats going on, as they even helped you move. Sakura, however, was
absent throughout the whole thing. Busy with her shishou, according to Sasuke, but you
knew better.
And it appears that moving away is a futile action anyway, as the previous
events are still plaguing your mind even after a whole week and the images of all the
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cheesy romantic scenes between her and him are still burned into your mind, seemingly
on constant replay.
And its not helping at all that its raining either.
You are roused from your morose thoughts, however, when you hear the
doorbell ring. Groggily, you get up, wondering about whoever it is that is knocking
because, really, as far as you know, you dont have friends. Naruto and Sakura, maybe.
But they have always been his and not yours. And you just cant imagine anyone else
coming in for a social call.
Whoever it is, though, surely seems impatient. You vaguely wonder if the
person at your door has a personal vendetta against your doorbell, because really, they
seem furious at it or maybe theyre just getting soaked by the rain. So you hurry to the
door, more for your doorbell than the one getting soaked.
You prepare your smile even before you open the door, a habit you cant seem
to get rid of. Nor do you want to, anyway. You have never expected, though, that the
smile will fade the moment you open the door.
Sakura?
What? No insult this time?
Shes smiling at you too, fake like the first time, but a bit more strained this
time. You almost close the door at her right then and there. Instead, you move aside and
let her pass.
Cozy place youve got here, she remarks, closing her umbrella and placing it
beside the door as she speaks. You watch her as she takes a few steps into the foyer but
divert your gaze when she turns back and looks at you.
Sai I
And the sound of her voice, so weak and trembling and vulnerable, draws you in
and you just cant help but look at her, disheveled and slightly soaked from the downpour
and think that she might just be the first pretty girl youve seen.
And it bothers you that your heart is speeding. It hurts but its not at all
unpleasant and you wont mind it at all if only you arent so scared. And you dont know
what it is but you think that maybe, this thing you feelthis acheseems suspiciously
like hope.
You know we lets just forget about that awkward moment we had last
week.
You try not to feel so disappointed that the ache has just turned unpleasant when
you hear those words come tumbling out her mouth. You plan to make a witty comment,
but as it is, your throats far too dry for you to speak.
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So you just stare at her, mute and immobile and unresponsive. You can see that
it worries heryour impassivenessand you cant help but feel bitterly glad about it.
II just dont want to lose youyour friendship, she begins again, taking a
different tactic. Oh and Ino-pig is so annoying with her I told you sos and Naruto is
so blatant with his loyalty to Sasuke-kun, and youre really the only impartial friend I
have.
Wrong.
Youre not impartial.
Youre on her side, she just doesnt know it or maybe she does and shes just not
as innocent as she portrays herself to be.
Maybe this is what being used isYou dont know You never know.
Besides, youre one of the few people I can actually have sane conversations
with. She laughs, awkward and forced.
Sai she calls, and your sour satisfaction over making her uncomfortable
earlier melts when you see that shes dangerously close to tears.
I hope youre not going to cry, you know how much uglier you are when
youre bawling.
She laughs this time, genuine and uninhibited, relieved and grateful and
beautifully melodic.
Now come on, Im making tea.
You walk past her and lead the way to the kitchen. Immediately, you head to
the stove and start heating some water. You have your back turned to her but you can
hear her shuffling, as if shes taking out a stool and sitting by the counter.
Ive been meeting with Tsunade-shishou regularly these past few days.
You dont answer her this time. But the tension has been alleviated earlier and
she knows you well enough to know that youre listening even if youre not responding.
Shes advising me to go to med school.
And? you ask, curious this time. Theres no med school in your city. The
nearest one is at the next town, and its not even a good one.
I think Im going to take her advice.
She says it as if the decision is trivial and small. Youre not fooled. This
decision of hers has hundreds of implications but theres only one bottom line: Shes
leavingbut she doesnt want to.
Where?
Tokyo.
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What about art school?
You watch her as she smiles wryly, as if embittered by something.
I was never really good at art anyway.
You know that she never really made exceptional artworks. She was industrious
and was decently talented, true. But she was never great at art, so to speak.
All I was good at was the bookish stuff. Medicine suits me more, I think.
You dont think you can argue with that. Of course, in the point of view of an
artist, you know that Sakuras opinion on herself is completely correct. It irks you,
though, that shes not.
And money? Youre paying your way through art school, arent you?
My parents are going to take care of it. They didnt support me in my decision
to take up fine arts but theyre willing to support me if I take up med. Shishou talked to
them about it. They were happy.
Youre running out of arguments and you cant help but wish you have more.
Still there is one though, you just hate to have use it.
And Sasuke?
But you do so anyway.
She pauses, her mouth closed tight and her brows knitted together in some
thought. You dont quite know. Maybe its worry, sadness, you dont know. You also
dont know whether youre happy or sad that you finally found an argument that she
doesnt have an answer to.
Its bittersweetthis, and its threatening your much-valued sanity (or insanity,
whichever way you look at it) because really, youve never ever been as unstable and
undecided as you are now.
You never thought you could be fickle.
He doesnt love me anyway.
Wrong.
You keep silent, not bothering to correct her, not wanting to.
Youve never thought you can be utterly selfish either.
She, however, takes your silence as a sign to continue.
Im justhe never shows me, you know that he cares. I have no idea no
idea at all if he...
She falters then, her voice breaking. She stops, takes a deep breath to calm
herself and goes on. Shes brave, you think, but utterly blind. But then again, she has
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never been able to read an artists canvas without a textbook guiding her. It only follows
that she cant read Sasukes.
I dont think I matter to him. I thought
This time, she does start crying. And you cant help but feel that you want to
hold her tight and kiss her tears away and do all of those cheesy romantic stuff that are
horribly corny but helpful. You dont quite understand, however, where your drive
comes from. You have an inkling; but youre not surenever surebecause you dont
know what to base it from. How does one know or recognize love, anyway?
I thought he loved me back, this time.
The memory of Uchiha Sasuke adding the final details to his painting flits
through your mind and his voice saying redemption rings in your ears over and over
and over. You wonder if this is proof that your conscience exists.
You really dont know. Youre not sure.
It doesnt matter anyway, because you wont be listening to it.
But, if he loves me, then he should at least show me. He doesnt even pay
attention! And he doesnt even acknowledge me. Hes so distant, like hes always in
another world, one where I cant reach.
You scorn her, really, for her stupidity. You scorn all women, actually. Their
inability to view things objectively makes them blind. Women and their If then
statements that are just too generic and too narrow to be of any use.
Its ironic and contradictory and so utterly stupid. Women prattle on about love
incessantly and yet they know nothing of it. You dont understand why they cant feel
and think at the same time. Youve never understood (but youre beginning to, arent
you?).
I dont think I can stand it anymore I dont want to hurt anymore.
Shes not supposed to be hurting but shes too blind to know that. You pity
Uchiha Sasuke, because he will unnecessarily lose something important. But you dont
pity him enough to help him.
I dont
And when she gets consumed by wracking sobs, you know that its your cue.
Its bad for you, you know, but you approach her anyway. You sit on the stool
beside hers and gently pat her head. Its an affectionate gesture, similar to that awkward
touch you gave her at the library, and yet completely and utterly different. The first one
had been spontaneous. Thisthis is more like youcalculated, deliberate,
manipulative.
She leans into you, seeking comfort from the worst possible person to ask it
from.
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You dont make any move to put your arm around her (because youve never
ever had to do something like that before and it scares you so muchthis intense
desire to do so). Instead, you just stay there, like a pillar, you think, except, you dont
feel strong at all. Your legs are turning into jelly and theres a knot in your stomach and
a lump in your throat. Its uncomfortable, but its not unpleasant, not unpleasant at all.
The two of you stay this way for quite a while. You savor it, because something
tells you that its the only taste youll ever get of whatever it is that youre looking for.
And when shes calm and she has straightened up and moved away from you, wiped her
tears and gathered her dignity, you try not to be too disappointed at the end of the first
and last.
She looks at you then, eyes clear and challenging and perfectly, perfectly green,
her voice staccato and weak and pathetically pleading.
Give me a reason to stay.
You want to think that this is an innuendo, but you know its not.
Her requestconcise and compactis actually a question. Shes asking for
your opinion. And you think shes the cruelest person on earth.
Do you think Sasuke loves her?
You dont think You know.
If Sasuke loves her, then shell stay.
Then shell have to stay
Unless
Im sorry
You mean it, really you do. Youre sorry for being so selfish.
But an apologys the only thing you can give. Truth, youll withhold.
Im sorry.
N-No, its okayI Its not your fault.
Yes it is, but she doesnt need to know that.
I guess it was bound to happen. I mean, Ino said so I was just too blind to
see it. Anyway, no use crying about it or else Ill become even uglier, right?
She laughs again, weak and watery. She has her answer, but its not what she
thinks it is. She looks down at her feet and takes a deep breath before looking back at
you.
Alright, I have to go. Bye Sai, I guess, this is the last time well see each
other.
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Then, she moves towards you and gives you the warmest hug, though you dont
really know because youve never had anything to compare it to.
Thank you for everything.
You try to search yourself for any feelings of guilt, because if theres any right
time to feel it, then this moment is it. Youve just ruined the lives of two people and you
should feel guilty but you dont find anything when you search your heart. And as she
says goodbye and walks out the door, you cant help but wonder what the consequences
of your selfishness are.
Uchiha Sasuke will become a better artist.
And when she turns and looks back at you before leaving completely and gives
you a bright smile, friendly and warm and beautiful like the ones she gives to Sasuke, you
cant help but think of how much of a bastard you are.
Ill give you a free check-up when I become a doctor. Bye, Sai!
Because shes redemption and now neither of you can have her, but he needs
her more and you know that. And its your fault and youve probably just destroyed
someone who has never really wronged you, and really, what have you done?
***
Fate, you decide, is your arch-enemy from now on.
Really, you dont quite like the idea of having the universe conspire against you,
trying to make you guilty for that one sin you have committed. Seriously, its just one
sinone sin. Technically, it isnt even a lie.
As it is, here you are, staring straight at the fruits of your selfishness: a raging,
uncontrolled, almost-insane Uchiha who you wont even dare touch with a ten foot pole.
And youre thankful that he doesnt know that its your fault that she left.
Because, really, youll hate to be in the place of that painting hes destroying right now.
Its such a waste, really. Because its such a pretty picture it captures the
color of her hair perfectly.
She promised!
You dont even know how youve gotten involved in this mess. You just
wanted to get the set of brushes you left behind when you moved. They dont come
cheap, after all.
You note, however, that Sasuke is holding a bottle in his handsgin, you think.
Theyve been drinking, him and Naruto. Naruto, who is currently standing nearby, looks
sobered by his friends outburst. Hes wearing a serious expressionthe most serious
youve ever seen on him.
Friendship, you think, is more beautiful than love the romantic kind, anyway.
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She promised!
But your reflections halt when Sasuke tears another portion of the painting,
finally succeeding in destroying it. Youre transfixed as you watch him throw it angrily
to the floor. Hes like a child having a tantrum, you think, and its almost funny, how he
kicks the ruined painting, almost as an afterthought. Its almost funnybut you dont
find yourself laughing.
She fucking promised!
His voice, loud and sounding slightly hysterical, worries you. It strikes you odd
that in between growls and snarls, hes smilingor sneeringbitterly and in a weirdly
psychotic way.
And you become even more worried when he takes his bottle and pours its
contents all over what was once a work of art.
And when he shoves his hands into his pockets, unstable and so obviously
inebriated now, and takes out a lighter, your heart stops and youre paralyzedin fear
and sheer awebecause hes passionate to the point of insanity and youre seeing his art,
his love, his being, his essence in its rawest form. Its powerful and hair-raising and
this this must have been how it wouldve felt like to be watching as Van Gogh lopped
off his own ear.
Its a sight to behold, reallyUchiha Sasuke in a rampage.
And youre slightly surprised to find that Naruto has more sense than you,
because now hes moving towards Sasuke, moving to restrain him and prevent what
would have been a disastrous fire.
He gets shoved away, however, when he attempts to grab his friends shoulder.
And you cant help but feel sorry for him because he doesnt deserve to take this kind of
crap from anyone, but he does, because he is Naruto.
You almost flinch as you watch him passively take undeserved punches, and
you wonder if you should help but youre there in the fringes always in the fringes,
never in the heart.
You dont know how much time passes, but the scufflewhich is not really a
scufflecomes to a halt when Naruto manages to shove Sasuke into the wall, wherein
the latter promptly collapses into a heap on the floor. With his back against the wall and
his legs stretched out before him, Sasuke looks up and covers his face with his hands.
Hes in a pitiful state, and you cant quite make yourself forget that it is you who
has put him there. He bends his knees and hunches over and you suspect that hes crying,
hiding his face, still trying to be dignified, even in his weakest moment.
And Naruto, bruised and scarred now, looks sympathetically at his friend. And
you cant quite follow the shifting of emotions in his eyes theres pity and anger and
pain and so many others that you cant quite recognize.
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Im going to go find Ino, she probably knows where Sakura-chan is, he
practically growls, and you know right then that the emotion that has won out is anger,
probably directed at Sakura. And youve never quite anticipated that things like this can
happen because of you. And you think you feel guilty because they were perfect and
you destroyed them.
Make sure he doesnt do anything stupid, will you Sai?
You cant deny this requestnot after what youve done.
Youll have to accept this: your punishment and your pleasurea whole night
of watching Uchiha Sasuke break.
***
You wince at the unpleasant taste of cold green tea, it takes a lot of effort to
swallow it, because it is bitter and cold and not at all what you wantbut you do so,
anyway.
Call it penance.
Its your own fault anywayYouve left the tea untouched for too long because
youre distracted by your conscience, and yes, you acknowledge its presence now.
Because really, what else couldve deprived you of all that sleep?
Penance, though, is useless because it doesnt really change anything. Action,
on the other hand, is more useful. And youve always been a man of action.
So saying, you drain the rest of your tea into the kitchen sink and head to your
former apartment. Youre praying to God that the garbage collectors havent touched the
trash yet.
Fate may be your enemy, but God certainly isnt. And when you peak into the
trash bin and see the remains of that painting, soggy and stinky but still there, you cannot
help but feel a wave of relief wash over you. Your hand is dirty, but you dont mind
there are more important things to worry about. Youve grown, you think, and you like
it though, of course, you have to suffer through the growing pains same as everyone
else.
You spend the rest of the day patching up the remains of the painting. Its
stained and torn and looks rather shabby now, devoid of its former beauty. But its
enough.
He called it Redemption.
You scribble the words on the canvas with a marker, messily and hastily because
your heart still hurts in a way thats incomprehensible and unexplainable but perfectly
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recognizable. It feels exactly like the time you used Sasukes name for a reason to make
her stay
You hope this works, because you dont know what else you can do to rectify
your mistake if it doesnt. No matter, though, you have to try.
Now, all thats left is to bribe Ino for Sakuras address, mail the painting, and
pray for success.
***
Courageyou discoveris something that has to be collected to be dispensed.
And for you, it takes a whole week of collection to be able to return to Uchiha Sasukes
apartment.
But here you are, hovering outside, your heart aching in a pleasant yet
unpleasant way. Youre staring at a pair of drab, battered, much-too-old sneakers
haphazardly discarded on the mat outside the front dooryouve seen them before.
Theyre hers.
Your planits a success.
And it hurts.
You turn away, then, intent on getting as far away as possibleto retreat into
your house and pretend that your heart isnt throbbing and smarting.
Oi, Sai! What are you doing here?
Youll wonder why youre terribly short on luck but as it is, Narutos already
pushing you into the apartment and you have little time to think because now youre
seeing her, youre seeing her and him together, and it stings.
Youre right in time, Sai, Sakura-chans here but only for a week, shell pursue
her studies but will stay together with the TemHey, Teme, Sakura-chan Sais here!
She looks at you thenturns her head and really looks at you and she smiles a
smile thats just for you. Your heart flutters, but its still aching because she has her head
on Sasukes shoulder and he has his arms around herand they look beautiful together.
You hopepraythat they dont hire you for a family portrait, because really,
that will just be agonizing and every brushstroke will feel like hundreds of needles being
driven into your palm.
Hi Sai, Im so glad youre here! Ill go make some tea for all of us.
Ramen, for me Sakura-chan!
No, Naruto, make your own ramen!
Aw but Sakura-chan!
No buts.
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And youre wishing that the sound of their bickering isnt drifting away and
disappearing into the kitchen because you dont want to be here with him.
You sit on the easy chair adjacent to the couch, not bothering to smile or strike
up a conversation. And its awkward and silent because
Thank you.
You mustve imagined it. Yes, thats right, because if it isnt your imagination
then that means that Uchiha Sasuke actually thanked you. And he shouldnt because its
your fault thatwell, it's his fault too for not showing her how much he loves her (and
maybe even taking her for granted) but that's just his nature, just as it is in Sakura's nature
to be blind. His eyes, though, they're as intimidating as they were when you first saw
him. And when he turns to look at you, you see gratitude and anger all at the same time.
I know you like her.
And to that, you simply dont have an answer. Because you yourself didnt
know, and yet he knows, and this explains a lot of things, really
Hey, what are you two doing there all serious and sulky-like?
Theyre falling in love with each other, Sakura-chan. Didnt you see the
googly-eyes they were giving each other?
Shut up Naruto, Sasuke-kun is so not gay!
Ah, but yes he is, didnt you notice how
And when you see him take hold of Sakuras wrist and pull her closer, when she
leans in to press a gentle kiss on his forehead, and he smiles a bit, content and happy and
everything you want to be, you realize that you deserve it, after all his thanks, his
gratitude. You've wronged him, yes, but you also made things right. He still dislikes you
for liking Sakura, obvious because of his much-too-possessive gestures and that slightly
challenging look he's giving you. But he also acknowledges that he is indebted to you
because it takes a lot to do what you did. And you think that, if the roles have been
reversed, he wouldn't have done the same for you. And you suspect that he knows this
too.
You deserve his gratitude.
Youre welcome.
And you smile at him, not fake and yet not happy eitherits sad and pathetic
and you pity yourself, really.
But youre not quite in the fringes anymore because youve given and youve
shared and youve lost.
And later, when Sakura serves you tea, along with Naruto and Sasuke, you feel a
bit better, because youre not in the fringes anymore. Youre not in the center either, but
youre getting there.
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Thank you, hag.
You mean it, you really do.
***
Youre listening to it againBeethovens Appassionata. Its as useless as
ever, but you dont mind, because this time your hearts guiding your hand and your
canvas isnt white and empty, but full of pink and black and orangenot the best color
combination, but good enough.
You smile, no longer fake, as you dip your brush into the mixture of black and
white.
You thinkas you smear the mixture into the middle of all the pink and black
and orangethat the painting can use a bit of gray and it pleases you.
You like it, painting abstracts...
Its cathartic.
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Portfolio
we call you?
what are you?
what did you do?
|1| if their story was a fairytale, what would it be & why |1|
|2| describe a fairytale ending for the tragic boy and the persistent girl |2|
|3| explain why the story of sasuke and sakura can be considered as a fairytale |3|
allurement
{online moderator}
author = [ landing in london ]
The Little Mermaid because pink & red are practically related, & well, everyone
wants Sasuke.
Sakura would die tragically, & there would be this beautiful mourning scene
where Sasuke realizes what he's lost and how he needs Sakura. Then POOF,
she's miraculously alive again.
Because one day they will fall in love & make beautiful babies. Of this I am
sure.
alory shannon
some days I wonder if I'm ever really going to grow up; other days, I hope I never do.
author = [ the human stain ]
Beauty and the Beast...with Sakura as the Beast. And as for why, two words:
monstrous strength.
...That's an interesting question, considering that most classic fairy tales, such as
the ones from the Brothers Grimm, did not generally have very happy endings...
In fairy tales, there's always something to be overcome, something to be won, a
lesson to be learned, or a person who needs to be changed. SasuSaku has all
these elements, and even if they don't get their "happy ending" like I hope they
do, there's still no denying that their story is a love story...which is really what
most fairy tales are all about in the first place.
annie sparklecakes
a fangirl with a laptop and a worn-out capslock key
author = [ rockstar + punk rock princess ]
Beauty and the Beast, with Sasuke as the beast, because if anyone suck at social
interaction, it's him.
With Sasuke coming back to Konoha, of course! And finally realizing that
Sakura is actually worth quite a lot to him. Perhaps with some singing animals
to drive the point home. No snakes, toads will do.
Because they teach all the good qualities little kids should know about
relationships and true love (and we all grow up with fairy tales): devotion;
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loyalty; the drive to do whatever it takes not to win true love, but to save it; and
balance in a relationship. Also, that pink and black look really good together.
arabesque05
easily bribed with miko's awesome.
author = [ love is ]
East of the Sun and West of the Moon, for Sakura's sheer devotion to
Sasuke. I can't help but feel that she would go after him, over mountains
and through snow; Sakura is no the damsel in distress. She'll save him,
whatever the cost, however difficult; that's the devotion that makes me have
faith in this ship.
There's no riding off happily-ever-after into the sunset for them. Sasuke
and Sakura are not, for me, heroes in a story, they are not the glorious; they
are the grimmer side of war, the despair and the heartache, the casualties
and the loss of innocence. They hurt and they bleed and they fall down; but
they survive, and that is their fairytale ending. They live, they live; they,
despite everything, find something to live for. Their happiness is all the
more beautiful for its frailty.
The epicness of their relationship! There is pining and scorning and exile
(of sorts) and horrible pasts and vengeance! And, what we wish for them
more than anything, that true love conquers all in the end. Moreover,
Sasuke's preoccupation with hatred really suggests the importance of love
for happiness; and they both, in their own way, need to be saved by the
other.
bell.esque
a hyper girl with a crazy laugh who loves to write and eat pastries.
author = [ make-up smeared eyes ]
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, because Sasuke would be one of the dwarfs
(Grumpy) that lurve Sakura (Snow White), but never actually show it. But I
think Sasuke, himself, would prefer Sleeping Beauty, because he gets to kill a
dragon, and he seems kind of like the hero type (that is, if he ever comes to his
senses).
If Sakura finds Sasuke while she is searching for him, and he realizes that he
really should go back to Konoha (and love her forever and eeeever). But it
wouldn't be a perfect fairytale, kind of a sad one, because I think Sakura would
have to be the one that heals his heart and mind.
It can be considered a fairytale, because the love Sakura displays for him is SO,
SO, SO strong. And because in a fairytale, there is always something that is
separating the two lovers, but eventually they will always come together (which
is hopefully what will happen).
cutecrazyice
author = [im yours + colors and cliches]
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I've never seen a fairytale that clearly depicts the complexity of how Sasuke and
Sakura are together. Imperfections are what theyre made of, and for me, that's
what makes it lovely.
There are really just two takes on this: its either a happy ending, or a tragedy.
Im a sucker for happy endings with a lot of angst in between, so there you go.
Dude. Gorgeous, avenging, semi-doomed guy, out to hate the world and the
lovely, vulnerable, temperamental girl that is somehow destined to bring him
redemption. How could that not be a fairy tale?
gabzillaz
cover artist: fluff [rapunzel]
hanabi-no-ai
a seductress who used up all her ensnaring skills for the sake of sasusaku/fracturedtales
{mafia don % editor-in-chief % queen moderator % copyright holder %productions head
% sponsor lookout % creative director % printing coordinator}
concept = [ red carpet + lamentations ]
Hmm this is a pretty hard question considering a bunch of fairytale princes
are practically Tamaki-Suoh-types (XD) which is definitely NOT Sasuke-ISH. I
think that is the reason why I really wanted to get this book doneand
hopefully, we were able to capture the fairytale that fits Sasuke and Sakuras
love story.
Basically Sasuke finally getting that stick out of his ass and finally proclaiming
to the world that he freakin' loves Haruno Sakuraand then, they proceed to
making lovely, adorable, and numerous babies.
Because their story literally had me wishing upon shooting stars, made endlessly
doodle hearts with their names on all my notebooks, pushed me to sing
spontaneously every time I see them in the same panel/scene in the
manga/animeand it gave me the chance to hope against all odds, dream of
simple happiness, and love something from the bottom of my heart. <3D
iMissa
DEFINITELY a procrastinator
author = [ home ]
SasuSaku would undeniably be a fractured fairytale, because of Sasuke's
brooding, avenger, GTFO-away-from-me personality versus Sakura's bubbly,
healing personality.
Sasuke is pardoned of his crimes, learns to forgive himself, and along the way,
heals the scars he left on Sakura's heart.
SasuSaku should be considered a fairytale because, honestly, not ALL fairytales
are nice, but most DO have happy endings (Grimm's fairytales notwithstanding)
and if there is any couple out there deserving of a happy ending, it's these two.
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its_game_time
a geeky realist with a penchant for the occasional daydreaming of a romantic.
author = [ reckless ]
I think it would be a more modern sort of fairytale; the kind that breaks the mold
on the typical "knight in shining armor + fair lady in distress" cliche. It's a
better-ending fairytale, the kind that doesn't depend on one character or set of
circumstances -- Sasuke and Sakura are two pieces to the pairing rather than one
lump sum. "SasuSaku" is about both of them, not just one with a little of the
other. That said, I don't think SasuSaku really fits under any established cliche
of the past; it makes its own class, but the simple romance and typical strive-to-
be-together possibilities give it a fairytale feel.
While keeping true to both the personalities of the characters AND the idea of
what constitutes a fairytale, a fairytale ending for SasuSaku would be Sakura
coming through and rescuing Sasuke, both literally and figuratively. Naturally,
Naruto is right in the middle of the Team Seven relationship, but whereas he's
bound to save Sasuke from himself, Sakura might take a larger role in saving
Sasuke from the metaphorical darkness that would come after: doubt, emotional
stumbles, and those things that women are generally better at expressing and
dealing with. In a nutshell, the I-will-save-you characteristic has always been
part of the foundation for my love of the pairing, and aside from being very
plausible canon-wise, it gives a fairytale color to the idea of SasuSaku.
The very roots of SasuSaku have a bit of a fairytale feel to them: Sasuke was
the popular guy who every girl liked while Sakura was a self-conscious follower
trying her best to win his attention but always coming up short. While canon
hasn't (yet) shown any interaction between them post-time-skip, I think
SasuSaku has a better chance now more than it ever did: they've both undergone
extreme transformations that, ultimately, will bring them closer together. I think
this development has that same rough-start-but-convenient-circumstances-and-
true-love-win-out feel that's so typical of fairytales.
iulia
i'm like batman in pink
{asst. organizer % asst. editor % asst. coordinator % com & cd layouts % moderator}
author = [ flights of fancy + ecto + sorry + the artist ] | collab = [ la carestia ] |
concept = [ lamentations + mauer ]
If SasuSaku was a fairytale, it'd be 'The Frog Prince' by the Brothers
Grimm. Except, Sakura would be the frog and Sasuke, he would be the
princess (prissy little thing). But youll have to erase that part where
the princess asks for her golden ball and promises to love the frog and
kiss it. Sasuke would simply not ask for such a thing. The princess is,
instead, the adventurous type who is on a not-so-noble quest for
revenge. And, in this story, the frog is just a persistent fellow who
insists on making the princess give up on her quest. More importantly
though, this version wouldn't be the fluffy version -- no, it would be the
original morbid version, where the self-centered princess throws the
Disclaimer: NARUTO 1999 by Masashi Kishimoto & Shueisha Inc. | Fractured Tales Project 2010 | 699
frog against the wall in disgust (although, if the princess were to be
honest with herself, she would have to admit that she liked the attention
hence giving the frog her gratitude before introducing it to the nice
castle wall). Mind you, the frog won't transform instantly. No, the
impact against the wall would teach the frog (who really was hideous at
first) certain lessons in life and put it in the right path to becoming --
well -- a prince. Then, said frog-turned-prince will return to dazzle the
princess. :D And the frog will forgive the princess for that whole wall-
incident and for being such a jerk. The princess, in turn, will let that
frog into his life and give it the love it so desires.
Im thinking that it would have an ending similar to that of
Rumplestilskin, wherein something was lost, but a more important
thing was gained. The king and queens golden castle turned back to
straw with the death of Rumplestilskinbut at least they got to keep
their child. Sasuke and Sakura, too, would probably have a not-so-
perfect ending, but they would be together and thats the important
thing. Theres hope amidst the troubles and the worries and the
problems, and in the end, they would come out scarred and wounded,
but not broken, never that.
The thing about Sasuke and Sakura is that theyre such three-
dimensional, grayish characters, that it would be impossible to put them
in the linear singularity of a fairytale. Theirs is a tale where the
princess (Sasuke and yes, I do like the idea of Sasuke as a prissy
princess) does not want to be saved and the knight (Sakura) stumbles
and falls and almost gives up on her quest. Theyre certainly not the
most ideal characters for a fairytale. But the elements of a fairytale are
already there, and if they just give each other a chance (if Sasuke would
stop running and Sakura would hold steadfast in her aim), then they
would certainly achieve that happily-ever-after that they both deserve.
japanesebread
short and spazzy
author = [ cry ]
Sasuke would come back to Konoha, for one. So that he can be with his
one-true-love. LOL.
Happily-ever-after? Given how incredibly impossible it seems now.
ANGST! ANGST! ANGST!
larsgo
author = [ jizz in my pants ]
{as larsgo or named as grandlaserny in livejournal.com, she is also one of
the members of fracturedtales project. She could not answer the questions
due to pressing matters. One of the oldest sasusaku fans, as some of the
authors here had already seen her wandering around the Simply Love
Disclaimer: NARUTO 1999 by Masashi Kishimoto & Shueisha Inc. | Fractured Tales Project 2010 | 700
Forums that was managed by twinbells. Were extremely proud that she
graced us with her presence.}
m. melancholica
a rare, sociophobic species characterized by an incurable Escapist tendency, often
through fangirling against-all-odds OTPs & AMFOTA boytoys.
{asst. editor % consultant}
author = [ the endymion effect + nadir ] | collab = [ and so the snake fell in love with a
slug ]
. . . I want the one where somebody dies! And I know which one: The Little
Mermaid. None of the colorful, musical world of Ariel and her friendsI mean,
Hans Andersons, the version that scarred a certain kid raised on Sesame Street
& Disney movies because the mermaid dies! T_T I know its a stretch, but its
the sort of sasusaku thats deliciously heart-rending~ Just as the mermaid and
the prince exist in different worlds, so do Sasuke and Sakura. Sakura has her
issues, but she had family and friends; the rich, multi-faceted ocean of the
mermaid is like the normalcy that has nurtured Sakura. They meet, really meet,
at a tempest: in crises does Sakura only see Sasuke beyond the genius loner on a
pedestal. Only in crises does Sasuke see beyond his superficial, weak, and flaky
impression of Sakura. Sakura has saved, will save, Sasuke in less obvious ways
than pulling him off a sinking ship. Sakura has journeyed so far, transformed as
much as the mermaid who lost her voice and grew legs. Sakuras friends has
made sacrifices, toonot necessarily for her, the way the mermaids sisters sold
their hair to the witch for a chance to save the mermaid from becoming flotsam
after the prince marries anotherbut they have all lost fundamental things,
fragments of themselves in their struggles.
As of writing this, I hear that Sakura has set off, resolved to kill Sasuke,
just like the mermaid approaches the princes matrimonial bed, dagger at hand. I
will not, at this point, say that Sakura will throw away the knife and martyr
herself for her princes sake, the prince who was, is, fond of her, but did not
value her as she deserved (And what does she deserve? Has she spoken, acted,
sufficiently to claim?) I will not say that Sakura will linger in the Air for all
eternity to earn a soul, a seemingly twisted, romantic sacrifice where in she
takes up self-flagellation and purgatory for another mans mistake. Sakura may
well kill Sasuke. And hey, hes made his bed. Let him lie in it. As long as
somebody dies in the end. XD
(*cough* Well, that was cheerful up there. Fine, fine. Ill make it up in
the next questions.)
The ultimate fairytale ending for Sasusaku is something I am well-versed in, just
because this is the sort of ending I love to read and write in fanfics: Sasukes
redemption and Sakuras transcendence. Sasuke will rehabilitate in Konoha. It wont
be easy but Sakura will be there, supporting him all the way. Sakura will be the
ultimate supermom, juggling a clan restitution project with a prodigious career as a
(soon-to-be) legendary mednin. Their friends will be there, supportive and equally
successful. They will live, learn, and grow old together. Its a rosy, beautiful dream
Disclaimer: NARUTO 1999 by Masashi Kishimoto & Shueisha Inc. | Fractured Tales Project 2010 | 701
that I cant quite reconcile with the reality of things, unfortunately. I cannot~ Woe is
me!
This is a conundrum we must divide and conquer. Sasuke's life story of woe and
tragedy, coupled with his prickly personality and immense pride, may not be
appealing at first. Once we add in his annoyingly Adonis attributes and his deep-
seated insecurities, we have one compelling damsel-in-diser, wounded prince.
Sakura is often painted weak and vulnerable, but it's exactly these that make her
transcendence all the more riveting. Be it with her intelligence, hard work, or weird
Inner voice, she overcomes her mediocrity to become the heroine. Unwillingly or
overenthusiastically, she'll come a'slithering out from pre-mating brumation and
sweep Princess Sasuslug off his psuedo foot. They'll endure against all the odds of
interspecies love and live happily ever after! See how far-fetched but oh-so soul-
searing thrilling that was? Exactly.
miko-chan
a poor creature who fears sisters and loves all that are sweet and glittery
{head organizer % asst. layout % online coordinator % transactions and
communications moderator % head lackey of the don }
author = [ red carpet + lamentations + mauer + ad astra ] | collab = [ and so the
snake fell in love with a slug + la carestia ]
Rapunzel will really be perfect! There are symbolisms in that fairytale that will
really suit their characters and relationships. Most especially at the end when the
witch cut off her hair and banished her from the land, while the prince was
blinded as his punishment. It seems so beautiful that even though the prince was
blinded and the princess was already ugly and torn, they still find each other and
accept their scarred appearances.
The only thing I want from them is either they give me babies, have a big
stinking familycomplete with a pet dog/snake/slug/flatwormor they just
warm me to a pile of bubbly goo if they just have a small moment together,
having a coherent conversation and their hands almost linking, but not touching.
Fairytales are essentials for a romantic soul and unfortunately, this pairing
became one of the necessary ingredients to my staple amount of romance. Its
practically on my list as one of those pairings that made an impression on me,
making it a perfect example of a fairytale.
mrie
well-intentioned monster who happens to love words, possibilities, and pretty boys.
author = [ corona and lime ]
The one where the princess saves the prince after knocking some sense into
him.
Hey, Sakura, I got over being stupid, thanks to that punch in the head.
Marry me? Then, after a couple angst fests and pity parties, they live
happily ever after.
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Because they are tragic and beautiful and they are possibility and lost-
chances embodied. Because there is room in their story for hope, faith, and
redemption. Because I say so, dammit!
myr
:p one word: fierce.
cover artist : romance [sleeping beauty] + cd cover [legend of orihime & houkiboshi]
Little Mermaid. Because it emphasizes Sakura's love and Sasuke's blindness and
ignorance. And the neighboring princess could be Itachi.
Sasuke will be a good boy again, after receiving Sakura's kiss
The undying love Sakura has for Sasuke, and their tragic/ironic fate.
ohwhatsherface
i need more sentences.
author = [ before he cheats + white walls + falling into history]
Beauty and the Beast! Because Sasuke is hot and Sakura is a beast (in the
coolest way possible).
LOL would it be wrong to just write "sex"?
Because they most definitely will get their happy ending. :)
pet
i am the SUPA-FLY TNT.
cover artist: [pinky promise (canon) + anastacia]
Anything fairytale, as long as it has a happy ending.
Them kicking back in the Bahamas drinking tequila.
'Cuz its made of angst, sexy, revenge, love, and awesome. Perfect
storytelling ingredients.
property of the uchiha
i was a pretty pink cactus once upon a time
cover artist: [angst: beauty and the beast]
No fairytale compares to SasuxSaku. Therefore, I refuse to base it on a
tale that actually exists. Sasuke would be Ghost Rider and Sakura
would be Maid Marian. And somehow, they would make it work
because that's just how they are.
All the other men (and women) who are ever paired up with Sasuke and
Sakura will become priests and nuns, fall in love with someone else, or
disappear.
Because it is the ultimate happy ending.
psychedelic_aya
a strange and funny girl, and really, that's all you need to know.
author = [ autompne ]
It would be Bambi. Because during my childhood, I cried about it too.
Disclaimer: NARUTO 1999 by Masashi Kishimoto & Shueisha Inc. | Fractured Tales Project 2010 | 703
I don't need to go into details. Becase really, "...and they lived happily ever
after" is enough.
Because Dumbledore said love makes great stories, can save all, and I believe
him.
polly-chan
i love SasuSaku, cherryblossoms, stars, green, babies, and POTATOES!
promotions artist: three banners
If SasuSaku was a fairytale, they would have a story where there is a prince who
will save the princess from the baddies. There are lots of hardships to be face but
in the end, love will still prevail over all. Just like what actually is happening in
the current story. Prince Sakura will come to save princess Sauce-kay XD
Sakura with lots of little Sasukes around her.
Fairytales is always all about obtaining happiness... And Sasuke is Sakura's
happiness
sakuraxkisu
author = [ amore ]
snappleducated
a teenage girl who would be a lot cooler if she didn't typo so much
author = [ stillborn sighs ]
The Princess and the Frog. I think Sasuke would benefit from being small and
green and warty for a while. It'd build character.
Well, first, there needs to be some conflict resolution, like knocking Sasuke out,
followed by a speedy trip to Vegas and a love suite. Then they could be one of
those couples that wear matching outfits!
Because theirs is a love undying.
the blanket
my hobbies include falling off maps, losing my way, and having epiphanies at
inappropriate moments.
{online moderator}
author = [ cannonball + under the sea + scratch ]
Given the proposition that they are a fairy tale, though, I would say their story is very
much reminiscent of the Odyssey. Faithful Penelope and wandering Odysseus -- and
fairy tales can be drawn from any tradition so the Odyssey counts, right? RIGHT?
Are we talking canon here? I want happiness for them -- but of I don't think the
notion of "happily ever after" works out here, as well as it might in other formats.
Maybe just an ending where they come to an understanding between them --
whatever that might mean. Epic as they are, I want their "ending" to come in
increments, if that makes any sense -- the understanding that an "ending," whatever
that might mean, is a process, as opposed to a resolution.
While I don't particularly see SasuSaku as a fairy tale in the conventional sense, I do
find their story epic, which is why it's so difficult for me to resist writing about them.
Disclaimer: NARUTO 1999 by Masashi Kishimoto & Shueisha Inc. | Fractured Tales Project 2010 | 704
There's so much you can take from their relationship -- so many motifs and
possibilities open for interpretation. I think fairy tales work in the same way.
Also, Sasuke would make the PRETTIEST PRINCESS EVER.
velvet_strings
a lovable camera whore
{head layout & illustrator % asst. creative director}
collab = [ not a date + je ne sais quoi ]
The legend of Malakas at Maganda. (Strong and Beautiful), emerging from the
bamboo stalk. But of course, The one who wears the pants, as Malakas, is Sakura,
while Sasuke is Maganda.
I just need them to be together. Not necessarily perfect, but at least they will have a
degree of understanding.
A fairytale is something thats a part of my life, something I grew up with.I can say
the same to this pairing.
white_epitome
smallbut still small.
{head layout & illustrator % asst. creative director }
collab = [ not a date + je ne sais quoi ]
The Frog and the Princess.
Itll be simple: Sasuke will at least try to make amends to Sakura.
Sasuke came from a noble clan, Sakura a normal family. They have history, like
those children morning shows we watch. And they have drama, so they can be a
fairytale.
Disclaimer: NARUTO 1999 by Masashi Kishimoto & Shueisha Inc. | Fractured Tales Project 2010 | 705
I llustrations
Upon A Time [white epitome]
Pinky Promise [samurai-pet]
FLUFF : RAPUNZEL [gabzilla]
The Slug Snake Affair [crazy-silly-me]
In The Mood Of Love [sorceressmyr]
All I Want Is You [plumfit]
PAC-MAN [samurai-pet]
Wedding Reflections[polly-chan]
Unwind [raccoon-ransom]
Im Yours [iulia]
Sakuras Pet [anna-kokoro]
Not A Date[white epitome]
A Sasusaku Day [polly-chan]
Roxxerz [samurai-pet]
Under the Sea [iulia]
ANGST : BEAUTY AND THE BEAST
[property of the uchiha]
Floating [miko]
Down [theredphantom]
My Beautiful Count [sorceressmyr]
Light [sorceressmyr]
Just Today [fey-rayen]
So Close So Far [nssavva]
Innocence [regi-chan]
Story in My Head [ninjin-nezumi]
Feeling [damleg]
Drown in it [property of the uchiha]
White Walls [looney lolita]
ROMANCE : SLEEPING BEAUTY
[sorceressmyr]
Lollipop [sorceressmyr]
Morning Light [sorceressmyr]
Date 2 [polly-chan]
Colors and Clichs [nami86]
Crimson Ribbon [arriku]
Sweet Lightly [regi-chan]
Sweet November [byshamora]
Under the Same Sky [nami86]
My Light [nami86]
Cinderella Ball [theredphantom]
Reckless [nami86]
Panels [burnedbacon]
Redemption [looneylolita]
Disclaimer: NARUTO 1999 by Masashi Kishimoto & Shueisha Inc. | Fractured Tales Project 2010 | 706
Glossary
1
A common Italian revenge phrase.
2
You're My Number One - A popular
song commercial in the Philippines,
sung by singer-actress Sharon Cuneta
and her daughters Frankie and Miel.
3
Lyrics of The Little Things by
Colbie Caillat
4
verses from Robert Burns A Red Red
Rose.
Aa sure or yes (Japanese)
Ad Astra To The Stars
Amore Love (Italian)
Anata literally means you, but is
commonly used by lovers and so can
mean darling
Aniki very polite word for older
brother (Japanese)
Apophallation - Method used by
hermaphroditic slugs when their male
genitalia cannot be retracted during
copulation. With the use of their radula,
they masticate their tight-spiral organ
and succesfully separate.
Apfelsaftschorle a popular german
soda. It is made of carbonated mineral
water and apple juice.This drink can be
sold commercially or done at home or
bars.
Autoapophallation method used by
hermaphroditic slugs when their male
genitalia cannot be retracted during
copulation. With the use of their radula,
they masticate their tight-spiral organ
and succesfully separate.
Cetatea citadel (Romanian)
Goukon Japanese dating party
Higgins surname of Sakuras
American voice actor
Hikawa Maru A Japanese Ocean
Liner from Yokohoma. During 1941, it
was used as a Jewish refugee ship. In
the midst of World War II, it became a
hospital ship for the Allied Forces.
Je Ne Sais Quoi I do not know what
(French)
Kaichou chief (Japanese)
Kampai cheers or hooray
(Japanese)
Kantoku director (Japanese)
Katana Japanese broad sword
Kushi Dango sweet dumpling
La Carestia The Famine (Italian)
Lowenhall surname of Sasukes
American voice actor
Mauer wall (German)
Meningococcemia Prophylaxis a
countermeasure to prevent being
infected with meningococcemia
Milankovitch Cycles describes the
collective effects of changes in the
Earth's movements upon its climate
Mukashi, Mukashi once upon a time
(Japanese)
Ni hen ke ai youre so cute
(Chinese)
Disclaimer: NARUTO 1999 by Masashi Kishimoto & Shueisha Inc. | Fractured Tales Project 2010 | 707
Niisan older brother (Japanese)
Nori seaweed
Ohayou Good morning (Japanese)
Ojichan uncle (Japanese)
Okaasan mother (Japanese)
Okashira boss (Japanese)
Omiai Japanese wedding meet-up
Oneesama very polite word for older
sister (Japanese)
Oni Gaijins literally means foreign
monsters; refers to foreigners
(Japanese)
Onigiri Japanese snack; riceball
Otou-san father (Japanese)
Otouto formal word for younger
brother (Japanese)
para para dance a popular
synchronized group dance
Radula orifice of a slug
Sudest Munti Southern Mountains
(Romanian)
Tadaima Im home (Japanese)
Taicho captain (Japanese)
Tasukete help me (Japanese)
Teka-maki tuna roll
Teme bastard (Japanese)
Torii temple gates (Japanese)
Vest Mare Western plains
(Romanian)
Wo shi dao me too (Chinese)
Wo xi huan ni I like you (Chinese)
Yamero stop (Japanese)
Yukata summer robe of Japanese
Yurei(-kun) ghost (Japanese)
ken (, "law") / hei (, "soldier") -
these characters are written on the white
armbands (worn on their left upper arm)
as part of the uniform of the Kempeitai,
the military police of the Imperial
Japanese Army during World War II.
They are the Asian equivalent of the
Nazis
hiragana For Uchiha
(Japanese)
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Disclaimer: NARUTO 1999 by Masashi Kishimoto & Shueisha Inc. | Fractured Tales Project 2010 | 709