STRENGTHENING FAMILIES PROGRAM, AGES 7–17 LESSON 3 SUMMARY POSTER

The Five Rs for 1- Rules

2- Rewards
3- Responsibilities

a Happy Home: 4- Routines

5- Happy Rituals

FAMILY GOALS:
1. Decide and write down family rules,
commit to obey them, and track
compliance.
2. Determine rewards for obeying the
family rules:
a) Write down the rewards.
b) Make a Reward Jar.
c) Track rewards and praise.
3. Divide family responsibilities; make a
family chore chart; decide on pay or
privileges earned; track compliance.
4. Decide and post family routines such
as bedtime, getting up, etc.
5. Decide and implement one happy
family ritual to build loving family
relationships.

l The 5 Rs can help you: FAMILY FUN:

a) Prevent chaos in the home Have kids choose which charts and
rewards from the “Rewards Tracking”
b) Increase good behavior
sheets they want to use. Cut out and
c) Build loving relationships assemble the spinner. Serve treats.

l Decide family rules and rewards; POWER PHRASE:

reward obedience to rules “Rules, rewards, and responsibilities
help establish order in a home and
l Divide family responsibilities teach children skills to contribute
to society.”
l Set up family routines and happy rituals
©2011 KAROL KUMPFER, PH.D. AND JAYNIE BROWN 3-1
STRENGTHENING FAMILIES PROGRAM, AGES 7–17 LESSON 3

Our Family Rules!

Standards to live by that keep us happy and safe

Together as a family, create rules that establish rights and responsibilities, teach children pro-social values, and keep them safe. When children help make
rules, they are more likely to obey them. Next, establish rewards for following family rules. The following week, add negative consequences for breaking
them. Rules that are fair, firm, and consistently reinforced and enforced, help children feel more secure and develop better self-control.

Rule Reward Consequence

10

©2011 KAROL KUMPFER, PH.D. AND JAYNIE BROWN 3-2

STRENGTHENING FAMILIES PROGRAM, AGES 7–17 LESSON 3

Family-Friendly Rules
Tracking Sheet—Teen

Family rules help you know the right path, stay safe, avoid trouble, and make a happier home. You can do your part by following your family rules and
encouraging others to do so as well.

Write down each of your family rules below. Give yourself 0 to 5 points each day acording to how well you
obeyed each of your family rules during the week.
RULE 1 MON TUES WED THURS FRI SAT SUN

WHY IS THIS RULE USEFUL?

RULE 2 MON TUES WED THURS FRI SAT SUN

WHY IS THIS RULE USEFUL?

RULE 3 MON TUES WED THURS FRI SAT SUN

WHY IS THIS RULE USEFUL?

RULE 4 MON TUES WED THURS FRI SAT SUN

WHY IS THIS RULE USEFUL?

RULE 5 MON TUES WED THURS FRI SAT SUN

WHY IS THIS RULE USEFUL?

©2011 KAROL KUMPFER, PH.D. AND JAYNIE BROWN 3-3

STRENGTHENING FAMILIES PROGRAM, AGES 7–17 LESSON 3

Family-Friendly Rules
Tracking Sheet—Child

Family rules help you learn right from wrong, stay safe, avoid trouble, and make a happier home. Your job is to follow your family rules and help others to
follow them, too.

Write down each of your family rules below. Give yourself 0 to 5 points each day acording to how well you
obeyed each of your family rules during the week.
RULE 1 MON TUES WED THURS FRI SAT SUN

WHY IS THIS RULE USEFUL?

RULE 2 MON TUES WED THURS FRI SAT SUN

WHY IS THIS RULE USEFUL?

RULE 3 MON TUES WED THURS FRI SAT SUN

WHY IS THIS RULE USEFUL?

RULE 4 MON TUES WED THURS FRI SAT SUN

WHY IS THIS RULE USEFUL?

RULE 5 MON TUES WED THURS FRI SAT SUN

WHY IS THIS RULE USEFUL?

©2011 KAROL KUMPFER, PH.D. AND JAYNIE BROWN 3-4

STRENGTHENING FAMILIES PROGRAM, AGES 7–17 LESSON 3

Track and Reward for Good Behavior

Introduction

THE CONCEPT: One of the best ways to When choosing rewards, make sure children find Rewards can be enhanced by making earning the
change behavior is to pay attention to and reward the rewards enticing by having them fill out the reward be entertaining and introducing an element
the behaviors you want. The most powerful re- “Rewarding Rewards” handout. Some rewards of surprise—like a spinner or dice to have luck
ward is praise, which is a social reward. Another can be small for smaller achievements and some determine which reward the child receives. (See
social reward is spending time with your child. can be larger for significant progress. Make sure handout 3-14.) Change the rewards over time
Other effective rewards are privileges (like T.V. the rewards are on-hand and easy to give. Chil- to keep your child’s interest high. As behavior
and gaming time, special outings, extra bedtime dren earn points to receive rewards by practicing changes for the better, choose new behaviors to
stories, time with friends) and material rewards the desired behavior, setting up a tracking chart, work on and reward.
such as money, toys, treats, or a Driver’s License. and daily doing the behavior.

HOW TO SET REWARDS:  HART: Let your child choose a tracking

4. C Example
chart (see examples in handouts). Fill it out and Keeping his room clean is Ben’s new goal. He and
1. CHOOSE the behavior you want your child
be clear about what your child must do to earn his parents decide that “bed made” means the
to do and write it down. Begin with a behavior
a move on the chart and receive a reward. (If sheets and blankets are pulled up and off the
that is not too hard to achieve. You can then
you are using a very long “Dot-to-Dot” chart, floor. “Clothes away” means all dirty clothes are
tackle more difficult behaviors. (If you want
divide the chart into sections, with a special put in the laundry basket; all clean clothes put
your child to stop doing a negative behavior,
activity at the end of each section.) away properly. “Toys away” means that all toys
decide what its opposite is; that becomes the
are in the toy box. His parents will check Ben’s
behavior goal.)  EWARD: Put the chart and the dice or
5. R
room each day at 7:30 p.m. Ben chooses a “Dot-
spinner in a place where they will be easily
 RACTICE: Break down the new behavior
2. P to-Dot” chart and will circle a dot and receive
seen. Be interested and enthusiastic when your
into small doable steps you can teach your a point every day his room is clean. His parents
child marks the chart.
child and have him or her practice the behavior. circled every fifth dot in red; when Ben reaches a
Decide on the how the behavior will be  AKE IT EASY: Set up your child’s
6. M red circled dot, he uses the spinner to discover his
measured—how your child knows he or has environment for success—make it easy to reward. He will recieve the special reward when
accomplished it. do the new behavior. (See Lesson 7 handouts the chart is finished.
“Contracts for Change” & “Positive Criticism”.)
 EWARD: Decide what reward your
3. R Sporatic Rewards
child likes and how it will be earned (number  RAISE: Praise your child every time you
7. P When the behavior becomes a habit, switch to
of points required, etc.). Have the rewards see him/her doing the new behavior and have sporadic rewards by only rewarding when the
on hand. him/her note it on the chart. dice rolls or spinner lands on specific numbers.

T I P S F O R S U CC E S S I N U S I N G C H A R T S A N D R A N D O M R E WA R D S
1. Check your child’s chart each day at the 3. Be sure your child gets the Reward he or she 7. Involve an element of surprise such as a
time you set. Be sure your child is there and earned that day NO MATTER WHAT! spinner or dice to indicate the reward.
participating.
4. Ignore your child’s arguing or begging in an 8. Change rewards occasionally to keep your
2. Look for something you like and praise it. effort to get the reward without complying. child’s interest high.
Be sure your child knows what he or she did
5. Don’t give any of the Rewards at any other 9. Change the behaviors on the chart after your
right and what is expected. Do not scold for
time, for any other reason. (If they get them child learns to do them well.
missed behaviors. Your child simply misses a
anyway, why should they work for them?)
chart move for the day. 10. Keep it happy and fun.
6. DO NOT take away an earned star or move for
unwanted behavior.

©2011 KAROL KUMPFER, PH.D. AND JAYNIE BROWN 3-5

STRENGTHENING FAMILIES PROGRAM, AGES 7–17 LESSON 3

Making Rewards Rewarding

Let your kids choose what rewards they enjoy most

For rewards to reinforce good behavior, kids have to find them actually rewarding. So ask kids what they like best, help them fill out this form, and use that for your
guideline. There are three types of rewards: Social Rewards, Privileges, and Material Rewards. Kids enjoy social rewards the most; but also enjoy earning privileges
and things they want. When kids earn their rewards and privileges, they receive more pleasure from them than if they got them free. Distinguishing between a child’s
rights (food, shelter, safety, clothing, education, and love) and privileges (everything else) will help you use things you are providing already, or new things kids
want, as a rewarding reward.

1. Make the Reward rewarding—and fit the size of the Reward to the amount of effort expended
6 2. Reward immediately—but only AFTER the good behavior; never before or for future “promised” behavior
3. Tell exactly what behavior you liked
Rules of 4. Smile; be enthusiastic, show you are pleased
Rewarding 5. Reward consistently when starting out; when behavior is well established, switch to sporadic rewards using dice.
6. Don’t offer a reward to stop bad behavior. (“Stop crying and I’ll give you a treat.”) Trains kids to misbehave for rewards.

Social Rewards Privileges Material Rewards

A parent’s positive attention, time, Special outings, TV time, video Money, treats, things you buy,
and sincere praise; use “40 Phrases game time, extra bedtime story, make, barter for, download, or sew
That Praise” handout from Lesson 1 movies, getting a Drivers License

©2011 KAROL KUMPFER, PH.D. AND JAYNIE BROWN 3-6

STRENGTHENING FAMILIES PROGRAM, AGES 7–17 LESSON 3

Reward Jar
Rewarding good behavior by providing positive consequences

We all like to receive recognition and rewards when we perform well or do Family Fun: Have your kids

REWARDS
a good deed. These motivate us to repeat such actions. Write in the spaces decorate a Rewards Jar. The following
below various rewards that family members would like to receive for com- items can be helpful:
pleting the “Family Responsibilities” worksheet as well as other behaviors • Colored paper, cloth, or paint
you would like to encourage. Make sure these are rewards you and your • Family photos
WAY Good
child agree on. When a child does well, IMMEDIATELY PRAISE AND SAY TO GO! Behavior • Pictures of rewards (like an ice
THEY EARNED A REWARD SLIP. Allow them to pick it immediately or have Pays Off cream cone, video game time,
an appointed family time when the child can choose a reward from the jar etc.) cut out from magazines
and be praised in front of the family. or drawn by the child

©2011 KAROL KUMPFER, PH.D. AND JAYNIE BROWN 3-7

STRENGTHENING FAMILIES PROGRAM, AGES 7–17 LESSON 3

Family Responsibilities and Chores

Tracking Sheet

A long term study showed that kids who did assigned chores as children and teens were more responsible, competent, self-reliant and had higher self-
esteem as young adults than those who did not. Research also showed that kids who do not have to do chores or help around the house were more likely to
be self-centered and at a greater risk for depression.

Use this as a worksheet to help children understand what it takes to run a home, and help them share in the Responsibilities. Pick a set day and time when
all family members can attend. List responsibilities and divide up fairly, according to age and ability. Supply training as needed. (For great chore-assigning
tips see: “The Big Book of Parenting Solutions” by Michele Borba.)

W H O D O E S W H AT W H E N
Responsibility Person responsible To be completed when

©2011 KAROL KUMPFER, PH.D. AND JAYNIE BROWN 3-8

STRENGTHENING FAMILIES PROGRAM, AGES 7–17 LESSON 3

Chore Chart
Help kids become responsible by tracking and rewarding chores

Kids need a visual tracking chart to serve as a reminder and monitor progress. Use this or find online charts: www.kidsallowancebank.com or myjobchart.com

KEEPING TR ACK HELPS GET THINGS DONE

Name Chores When (Day/Week/Month) M T W Th F S S Reward

©2011 KAROL KUMPFER, PH.D. AND JAYNIE BROWN 3-9

STRENGTHENING FAMILIES PROGRAM, AGES 7–17 LESSON 3

What Chores Can Young Kids Do?

Young kids build skills and self-esteem as they help with family chores

Young children usually enjoy helping with chores if 1) they are trained in the skill, 2) the job is within their abilities, 3) their physical environment is set up for
their success (unbreakable dishes, lower cupboards, stools to help them reach, etc.) and 4) they receive lots of praise for their efforts.

Below are some chores young children can do. Start with only one or two chores, then add as they get older. Set up a reward system so children can check off
completed chores and earn points toward things they like. Don’t criticize if the chores are not well done at first. Praise even the smallest attempts. If children are
reluctant to help, emphasize that because they have the RIGHT to live in the home, they have a RESPONSIBILITY to help take care of it. (TIP: Children with ADD
may have trouble staying on task or figuring out how to organize. Ask them to report back to you or let them work as a team with someone. Don’t assign them
jobs that need to be done before someone else can do their chore, like unloading the dishwasher so another sibling can load it.)

AGES 2–3 AGES 3–4

• Wash hands and face • Wash and dry their hands and face
• Brush teeth • Dress self—except for some fasteners
• Undress self (may need some help with fasteners) • Put unbreakable plates and silverware on the table
• Choose between two articles of clothing • Dust furniture (provide a dust mitt or large sock for their hands)
• Pick up toys and put away • Wipe up their accidental spills
• Put library books in a basket • Help make bed (TIP: Sew 2 top sheets together, insert blanket and
• Put silverware and napkins on the table secure into corners so there is only one piece to make bed.)
• Clear own dish off the table • Help make a grocery shopping list
• Help unload clean silverware from dishwasher (except sharp knives) • Help put groceries away
• Pick up things they dropped while eating • Help unload dishwasher—will need help putting dishes away
• Help carry cans or small boxes from grocery bags • Help in the yard or garden
• Feed pets on schedule

AGE 5 AGE 6

• Dress self without help • Brush hair—may need help with long hair
• Make bed • Tie shoes
• Pick up toys and clothes in room and put away • Help clean out the car
• Help separate laundry into colors and whites • Help wash the lower parts of the car
• Help fold clothes (small things) and put away • Empty wastebaskets
• Help with family meal planning and buying groceries • Prepare cold cereal and toast for breakfast and clean up after self
• Set the table • Help Mom or Dad fix dinner
• Help clear the table • Break up lettuce for a salad
• Help wash dishes or help load dishwasher • Make simple dishes or desserts
• Unload dishwasher (may need help putting things away up high) • Help wash and dry dishes
• Make own sandwich, put things used away • Wash out the kitchen sink (need a stool, apron, soapy dishcloth)
• Pour own water, milk, or juice • Help fold laundry, mate socks, and put clothes away
• Help put ingredients in a bowl for cooking • Wash fingerprints off doorjambs
• Help stir or hold mixer while baking • Sweep up dirt with small hand-broom and dust pan
• Help with yard work • Help with additional yard work

©2011 KAROL KUMPFER, PH.D. AND JAYNIE BROWN 3-10

STRENGTHENING FAMILIES PROGRAM, AGES 7–17 LESSON 3

Stress-Busting Routines
Positive routines reduce chaos, foster freedom and peace

Establishing positive routines in each of the five areas below will reduce family stress, improve children’s emotional health, and assure that the things most important
to you get done. Together, decide routines that work best for your family, and try to stick with them. Problem-solve until you get the results you want.

1. Sleep
Bedtime Wake up Bedtime duties/hygiene

2. Dinner
a. Who buys food? When? (buy brain-healthy food; avoid junk)
b. What’s for dinner? (plan weekly; include veggies, fruit, whole grains, lean protein)
c. When is dinner? (weekdays) (week-ends)
d. Who fixes food? and and
e. Who cleans up? and and

3. Study, Learn, and Work

a. Homework Study-Time Routine:
i. Time (weekdays) Place: How long?
ii. Time (weekends) Place: How long?
b. Reading (when and for how long)
c. Laundry:
i. Who does it? When
ii. Who does it? When
d. Practicing talents and skills (make charts with day, time, and for how long)
e. Chores (make chore charts, list duties, when each is to be done)

4. Play, Plan, Progress (“My Time”, Family Meeting, Personal Meetings, Exercise, etc.)
a. Family Play-time One-on-One Play-time
b. Weekly Family Meeting (day) (time)
c. Pleasant Personal Conference (days) (time)
d. Exercise (thirty minutes, five days a week) What? When?
e. Other Day Time

5. Financial
Plan Income & Spending: Date Time Review it: Date Time
Describe your plan to track spending

©2011 KAROL KUMPFER, PH.D. AND JAYNIE BROWN 3-11

STRENGTHENING FAMILIES PROGRAM, AGES 7–17 LESSON 3

Happy Family Rituals

Create special moments to increase family love and bonding

A happy family ritual is a set, loving way of saying or doing something that enhances an event’s meaning and promotes family bonding. These include tender ways
of greeting each other or ways to say, “I love you.” (“I love you bigger than the sky!”) Some families have a nighttime ritual that includes reading a bedtime story, or
giving back rubs and songs to help a child feel loved and secure. As teens grow, it could be a special snack when coming home from school while sharing the “best and
worst part of the day;” or a quiet bedtime chat ending with, “I sure love you. Thanks for being my son or daughter.”These moments help family members feel loved
and appreciated. Whether your family ritual is daily—like pausing tenderly to give welcome home hugs, a special greeting, and a long look into a child’s eyes; or kisses
whenever you see a rainbow—be sure to do it happily and regularly, so kids can count on it.

Below, list the happy family rituals you already have and ask: “Are our happy family rituals adequate to produce family bonding? How can we make them more mean-
ingful? What happenings occur on a daily or weekly basis that we could enhance with a loving moment?” Get family input; write down your ideas. Then begin another
happy family ritual.

Our Happy Family New Happy Rituals Happy Family Ritual

Rituals to Begin Ideas

• Greeting: special saying: “What did you bring

home from school today—besides your
beautiful brown eyes and your happy sweet
smile?”; take time to kiss
• Departing: group hug; special sayings: “Make
it a great day!”, “Give me four things: a kiss, a
hug, a high-five, and a ‘I love you!’”
• Nighttime: songs, stories, back rubs, hugs,
calm music, prayers
• Morning: hugs, music, exercise
• Mealtime: “compliment the cook”; ask a
blessing; use Conversation Jar
• Sharing Values: memorize a saying, add a star
to the Values Chart
• Spiritual: prayer, reading an uplifting thought
or verse of scripture, lighting candle
• Holiday: hang valentines in bedroom doorway;
put a special star on a Christmas tree for each
child and share story of their birth, and why
they’re special to you
• Seasonal: sharing spring tulips or daffodils;
raking fall leaves and jumping in the pile
• Memorial: singing a departed loved one’s
favorite song while placing a flower on
his or her grave
• Other: special hand-squeeze that means,
“I love you”

©2011 KAROL KUMPFER, PH.D. AND JAYNIE BROWN 3-12

STRENGTHENING FAMILIES PROGRAM, AGES 7–17 LESSON 3

Track and Reward for Good Behavior

Bee Good Chart

Write the skill or behavior to be practiced at the bottom of the beehive. Place a small sticker or mark on the poster each time that the skill or behavior is
practiced. Behaviors could be making the bed, obeying the first time, accepting “No” nicely, putting clothes away, etc.
Bees are known for their hard work and their positive effect on their own family or hive. A hive is like a home—everyone has a job to do to make the family
run happily and well. If everyone does their part, pure sweet honey is the reward.

Better beehavior beegins with me.

SUN

MON

TUES

WED

THU

FRI

SAT

GOOD BEHAVIORS GOOD BEHAVIORS GOOD BEHAVIORS

B E H A V I O R S

©2011 KAROL KUMPFER, PH.D. AND JAYNIE BROWN 3-13

STRENGTHENING FAMILIES PROGRAM, AGES 7–17 LESSON 3

Track and Reward for Good Behavior

High-5s

Record the behaviors you want to track and reward in the boxes below. Use a star to mark each day that a task or behavior is achieved. Behaviors could be
doing a daily chore, meeting curfew, doing homework on time, being nice to a sibling, etc.
An alternative to using stickers is using a rating system. For example, you can rate the performance from 1-5, 5 being excellent and 1 the least acceptable.
Write the score on the poster each day. At the end of the week add up the score. Pick a minimum score, such as 25 or 28 that earns the reward. Give a bonus
for extra high points.

BEHAVIOR: SUN MON TUE WED THU FRI SAT

BEHAVIOR: SUN MON TUE WED THU FRI SAT

BEHAVIOR: SUN MON TUE WED THU FRI SAT

©2011 KAROL KUMPFER, PH.D. AND JAYNIE BROWN 3-14

STRENGTHENING FAMILIES PROGRAM, AGES 7–17 LESSON 3

Track and Reward for Good Behavior

Brain Gain Chart

When we improve our behavior by learning and practicing a new skill, we wire our brain to be more effective. Decide how often to give a reward by
circling with a colored pen or pencil certain dots, such as every third or fourth dot. Have your child draw a line between the dots as he or she accom-
plishes what is expected.

What seems like the end... ...is only the beginning of

something better
37 34 30 29
35 33
36
31 28
32

27

26

22 25
23
22 23
24
21
20

18
19

17 15
14 10
16
13 11
12
9

8 7
6

REWARD:
What I will do to earn the reward: 5
3
4

All progress starts 1 with the first step

©2011 KAROL KUMPFER, PH.D. AND JAYNIE BROWN 3-15

STRENGTHENING FAMILIES PROGRAM, AGES 7–17 LESSON 3

Track and Reward for Good Behavior

Earning Your Stripes

Write the behavior to be learned and the reward to be earned below. Circle which stripes you will use as short-term rewards. Have your child color in the stripes as
he or she completes assigned tasks or does the behavior.

What seems like the end, is only the beginning of something better.
All progress begins with the first step.

5 8 15 20
1 3 10 28
16 19 25
12 21 30
2 6 13 27
4 9 23 26
11 22 24
7 17 18
14
29

SHORT-TERM REWARDS:
REWARD:
What I will do to earn the reward:

©2011 KAROL KUMPFER, PH.D. AND JAYNIE BROWN 3-16

STRENGTHENING FAMILIES PROGRAM, AGES 7–17 LESSON 3

Rewards Spinner
Random Reward Games

The idea of a spinner is to provide an element of fun and surprise as to what the reward will be once the opportunity for a reward is earned. (You can also make a
spinner with a paper plate and a bobby pin.) Write the rewards that you and your child have determined in the numbered pie shaped pieces. Either roll a dice or
make and use the spinner to determine the number of the reward they get.

One dice works

well if you’d rather
D R E not make a spinner.
R
A W
W A
E R
1. For the pointer axel, bend the
innermost end of a paper clip up
R

D
at a right angle. Bend the
rest into a triangle as
shown below.
D

R
Paper Clip Axel

E
R

2. Cut out the pointer in the

bottom left corner of this page.

W
Poke the end of the paper clip axel
A

through the hole and then take

back out. Fold the pointer’s far
W

A
outside edges inward on the dot-
ted lines. Fold inward again until it
meets in the middle.
R
E

D
R

3. Cut out the spinner square on

R
D

the left, turn over, and poke the

E end of the paper clip axel through
R the center. Tape to the bottom side
W
A of the spinner as shown below.
A 4. Put the pointer on the axel and
W R tape the middle as shown above.
E
5. Write the rewards in the pie
R D
shaped pieces of the spinner and
spin away!

Spinner

Pointer
©2011 KAROL KUMPFER, PH.D. AND JAYNIE BROWN 3-17
STRENGTHENING FAMILIES PROGRAM, AGES 7–17 LESSON 3

Pro-Social Skills for a Successful Life

How to have good rules, routines, rewards, and rituals

HOW TO HOW TO

MAKE GOOD SET UP POSITIVE

FAMILY RULES ROUTINES
1. As parents, write down the values, beliefs, and pro-social 1. Use the handout on routines to examine six areas of family
behaviors that are important to you. life that could use some improvement. Choose one new
2. Invite your children to a family meeting to help make family rules. routine to add structure and relieve stress. Write it below:
Share your list of values and behaviors that you want to have
to create order and good family relationships in your home.

3. Ask family members to brainstorm ideas for family rules that
would create those attitudes and behaviors. Together, choose
the best ones and write them down. Have everyone sign their
agreement to follow the rules and track progress.

4. Evaluate at the end of the week and month to see how it
went. Make adjustments to the rules if needed.

HOW TO HOW TO

REWARD GOOD MAKE HAPPY

BEHAVIOR FAMILY RITUALS
1. Decide which behavior(s) you want to reward. 1. A happy family ritual is a small, loving way of saying or doing
2. Have your child choose a reward he or she enjoys (one you things on a regular basis that helps family members feel
can afford and that fits his or her efforts.) loved and appreciated.
3. Have your child choose a tracking sheet. Decide on the 2. Look at the ways you daily interact in common situations with
number of points needed to earn the reward. family members. Decide to add a ritual to your usual ways of
4. Give reward points immediately after the good behavior. doing things that will help family members feel loved.
Smile, be enthusiastic, show you are pleased, and tell exactly 3. Look at happy families around you, or do research online, to
the behavior you liked. find happy rituals you can do in these five areas: bedtime,
5. Give the reward only AFTER the good behavior. greeting each other, mealtime, celebrating successes, and
birthdays.
6. Reward consistently at first; then after it becomes a good
habit, explain that you will be switching to sporadic rewards. 4. Present your ideas at a family meeting. Choose the ones you
Then switch the reward to a new behavior to work on. all agree on. Set up reminders.
7. Don’t offer a reward to stop bad behavior.

©2011 KAROL KUMPFER, PH.D. AND JAYNIE BROWN 3-18