``

    International University
Department of English

REPORT
Vietnamese Traditional
Wedding
Vietnamese History and Culture
Name: Hoàng Lê Gia Bảo
Student’s ID: ENENIU18011

Instructor: Prof. Dr. Võ Văn Sen

CONTENTS
VIETNAMESE WEDDING PROCESS  2
The past  2
Today  2
SYMBOLISM AT VIETNAMESE WEDDING 15
Song Hỷ Character 16
A pair of Dragon and Phoenix 16
A pair of love birds 17

BETEL LEAVES AND ARECA NUTS      

18
LACQUERED BOX 19
South Vietnam 19
North Vietnam 20

REFERENCES 22
 

There are famous words from a Vietnamese folk song: “buy buffalo, get married,
build a house.” which illustrates that a wedding is one of the most important events
in one’s life: having a career, getting married, and building a house. A beautiful
wedding tradition has been preserved and passed from generation to generation for
thousands of years. Therefore, I would like to write a paper to demonstrate one of
the most important aspects of Vietnamese culture.

I/ VIETNAMESE WEDDING PROCESS

1/ The past
In the past, the wedding process is quite complicated as it requires 6 main
ceremonies.
The first ceremony is Nạp tài in which the groom’s family brings a pair of
swallows, the kind of bird symbolizes the loyalty, to the bride’s house in order to
indicate that the groom decides to get married to the bride.
The second ceremony is Vấn danh. In this stage, a matchmaker (“bà mối” in
Vietnamese) will be asked to come to the bride’s house and find out the bride’s
name and birthday by the groom’s family. 
The third stage is Nạp cát which is used to announce that the groom’s family had
already gone to a fortune teller. If he says that the groom and bride are a good
couple, the following ceremonies will be held. In contrast, the groom’s family will
ask to stop the next stages.
The fourth ceremony is Nạp tệ in which the groom’s family brings betrothal gifts
to the bride’s house as a promise of a happy ending.
After Nạp tệ ceremony, a Thỉnh kỳ ceremony will be held to decide the date when
the wedding should be taken place.
The final step is Thân nghinh. On this day, the groom’s family will bring betrothal
gifts to the bride’s family and then escort the bride to the groom’s house.

2/ Today
Although there are many complicated steps in the past before the wedding is taken
place, these days the wedding process is reduced to 3 ceremonies including
Proposal (Dạm ngõ), Engagement (Đám hỏi), and finally Wedding ceremony
(Đám cưới). I will analyze the first two ceremonies in 5 categories: purpose,
attendants, clothes, presents, and activities.

a/ Proposal ceremony
 Purpose
The proposal ceremony is held to formalize the relationship between 2 families as
well as deciding the engagement and wedding dates. Therefore, there is no need for
the groom’s family to bring many presents to the bride’s house.

 Attendants
There is a must for the presence of the groom’s parents and the groom. Also, the
matchmaker and the groom’s relatives (aunts, uncles,etc.) can attend the proposal
ceremony.
Similarly, there is a must for the presence of the bride’s parents and the bride. The
bride’s relatives (aunts, uncles,etc.) can also attend the proposal ceremony.
It is better that there are around 5-7 attendants for each family; however, this
number can be changed depends on the regions.

 Clothes
There is no obligatory dress code for this ceremony; however, it is better for
attendants to suits formal clothes. For example, Vietnamese traditional Ao dai for
female and suits for male.

 Presents
The presents will be prepared by the future groom’s family. It is a must to have
betel leaves and areca nuts, which symbolise the couple’s heartfelt love, in the
betrothal gifts, a wine which is covered by a red cloth. Besides, it is necessary to
have other things such as candies, cakes, fruits, and tobacco which is optional.

Betel leaves and areca nuts

 Activities 
Before the groom’s family comes, the family of the bride must decorate their house
and prepare foods and drinks such as tea and some cakes for the other family,
which will create a good expression. Moreover, the bride’s family has to pay much
attention to the altar on where they should be put a fruit tray. 
When the groom’s family arrives, they give their betrothal gifts to the bride’s
family, which is a symbol of the agreement.
After that, two families will have a small talk about their expectations of their
future groom/bride as well as their family’s traditions and customs, which will
become a bridge to make two families become closer. If two families see eye to
eye about their children’s relationship, the bride’s family will let the couple burn
incense in their altar as an announcement for the ancestors. Then, two families will
discuss and choose the date for the next two ceremonies.

b/ Engagement ceremony
The engagement ceremony is usually held a half year before the wedding;
however, it can also be taken place one year before or one day before the wedding.
This ceremony is similar to the proposal ceremony, but it seems simpler. 

 Purpose
An engagement ceremony is an event announcing that the couple will get married
soon; it is also held in the bride’s house, similar to the proposal ceremony.

 Attendants
It is always a must for the parents of the couple to attend the ceremony. Besides,
the couple can invite their relatives (such as aunts, uncles, siblings, etc.) and close
friends to come.

 Clothes
Similar to the proposal ceremony, the attendants have to wear formal clothes, such
as Ao dai, and suits.

 Presents
The presents include 
 Betel leaves and areca nuts
 Tea and wine 
 The tea-tray
 Different kinds of cakes such as husband and wife cake (bánh phu thê),
green rice flake cake (bánh cốm),  square sticky rice cake (bánh chưng),
round glutinous rice cake (bánh giầy), Gac steamed sticky rice (xôi gấc)
which is believed to bring luckiness and happiness to the couple, etc. 

Husband and wife cake

Green rice flake cake

Square sticky rice cake

 Round glutinous rice cake

 Fruits, tobacco, candies, etc. 

 A roasted whole pig
 Money and jewelry such as a pair of gold rings, a circular necklace, and
earrings.
All the presents must be prepared by the groom’s family; they have to be put in
lacquered boxes (mâm tráp) which are wrapped with red cloths. The betrothal gifts
are used to express the groom’s gratitude towards the bride’s parents as they have
been raising the bride until now. These boxes are traditionally brought by young
bachelors in Ao dai; the number of these men must be odd since the odd number is
a symbol of development and abundance in Vietnamese belief. When the groom’s
family arrives at the bride’s house, there are a group of young unmarried women
will wait to receive the betrothal gifts from the young bachelors. It has been said
that people who bring and receive these boxes will miss their fates in love (mất
duyên); therefore, the future’s groom’s family has to prepare envelopes containing
money for the groomsmen while the future’s bride family should prepare
envelopes containing money for the bridesmaid. As a result, these bachelors and
spinsters can find their true love and have a happy ending soon.
  Activities
When the groom, his family, relatives, sometimes his friends and groomsmen in
suitable clothes arrive at the main gate of the house, they have to wait until the
chosen time which is believed as the lucky time of that good day.
After that, the future groom and other people walk to the main door of the future
bride’s house in one line. The bride’s family and bridesmaid will receive the boxes
of presents from the groomsmen.
Having given the betrothal gifts to the bride’s family, the groom and his family are
invited to enter the house. In the house, two families will sit around a table, usually
a rectangular one. Members of each family are introduced by each family’s
representative who is usually old and experienced in the traditional wedding
process. 
The representative of the groom’s family explains the reason for the presence of
them and asks for the future bride to become the future groom’s wife. Then, the
groom’s family will unwrap the boxes to show the bride’s family their presents.
In some families, it is not until the future groom is accepted to take her from her
room to the living room where 2 families are sitting, can the bride appear.
The bride pours tea to invite the future groom’s family while the groom does the
same thing to the future bride’s family.
Some of the presents will be placed on the ancestral altar. The groom and bride
burn incense sticks as an announcement for the ancestors that they are accepted to
get engaged. The groom or groom’s mother will help the bride to wear the pieces
of jewelry which are prepared by the groom’s family.
Next, the bride’s family will return some of the presents to the future groom’s
family.
To end the ceremony, everybody is willing to enjoy the banquet hosted by the
future bride’s family.

c/ Wedding ceremony
Participants, betrothal gifts on wedding ceremonies are similar to the ones on
engagement ceremonies.

 A few days before the wedding day

A wedding is seen as family reunions. Family members gather at the bride and
groom's house a few days before the wedding date. They help to clean and decorate
the houses, prepare foods and necessary things for the wedding.
  One day before the wedding day
The groom’s family brings betel leaves and nuts to officially ask permission to
receive the bride on the next day. The bride’s family receives the present and
agrees with the other side.
On this day, family, neighbors, friends, partners, colleges of the bride are invited to
a reception which can take place at her house, a restaurant, or a wedding center.
The number of guests invited to the reception is much more than the one on the
engagement day.
At night, the bride’s mother combs her hair while teaching her how to be a good
wife and daughter in law. 
A ceremony called “chịu lạy” occurs on the night before the wedding date on both
families. The groom or the bride at his/her house says thank to parents and other
family members for raising and teaching him/her. 

Family members prepare for the groom or bride jewelry or red envelopes stuffed
with money.

 On the wedding date

 At the bride's house
The representative of the groom’s family leads his family and close friends to the
bride’s house.
Similar to the process of the engagement ceremony, the groom’s side must wait
until the lucky time. The groomsmen hand the lacquered boxes of presents to
bridesmaids. The presents are unwrapped and placed on the ancestral altar.
Parents and families of two sides sit around a table. The representative of the
groom’s family expresses the purpose and ask permission to receive the bride
again. The representative of the bride’s family lets the bride get married to the
groom. The future groom’s family unwraps the boxes, shows the presents to the
future bride’s family that will approve the presents. Some of the presents are
placed on the ancestral altar.
In some families, the future bride does not appear until the future groom is
accepted to take her from her room to the living room where 2 families sit.
The groom bows the bride’s parents and grandparents and gives the bride a
bouquet of flowers.
The bride and groom stand in front of the altar, burn incense sticks, bow the
ancestors, announce their ancestors that they have become husband and wife.
The bride and groom bow their parents, thank the parents for raising them well.
The bride and groom bow each other.
Speeches and formal tea occur. Parents give the couple advice about marriage.
Candle ceremony follows to confirm the couple and two families are in
relationships.
Half of the presents are returned to the groom’s side. Some or all of the jewelry are
given back to the couple by the bride’s side. The groom or his mother helps the
bride to wear the ring, necklaces and earrings. The couple help each other to put on
the wedding rings.
 The groomsmaids and betrothal gifts

The groom’s father offers the bride’s father a cup of tea and ask the bride’s father
to take the bride to the groom’s house
  
The groom’s mother helps her future daughter-in-law wear the necklace

Parts of the gifts are returned to the groom’s side. The lacquer boxes should be
open and the lids should be upside down.
  At the groom's house
The groom’s family brings the bride to the groom or his parents’ home. It is called
“rước dâu” which means “receiving bride”. The bride’s family also goes to the
groom’s house. It is called “đưa dâu” which means “sending off bride”. They can
go by boats, cars, even bicycles, horse carriages, motorbikes, etc.
The two family sits around a table. The bride and groom also burn incense sticks,
bow ancestors, parents and the elders in families, offer them tea, listen to their
advice. A candle ceremony also occurs.
The groom and the bride go to their wedding room which is decorated beautifully.

The couple bows their parents and the elderly

 Reception
If only families, some close friends attend the ceremony, more people are invited
to the reception. Everybody including the two families, groom and bride’s friends,
colleagues, partners, neighbors, even parents’ friends, colleagues, and partners and
others are invited to a reception. The reception may take place at the groom’s
house, restaurant or a wedding center. The number of guests are up to a few
thousand. There are 5-12 course meals served.

Family members and guests are served with some cakes, candies, and tea 
 
These days, before serving guests the feasts, the groom and bride cut a wedding
cake and pour champagne. After cutting the cake, the couple eat a piece of cake
together. From that moment, they share difficulties and sweetness in their life
together. The single or multi tiered wedding cake is usually placed on a high
wedding cake stand so that the couple do not need to bend down when cutting the
cake. Wine glasses are used to build a champagne tower which represent the
stability. When the couple pour champagne into the top glass of the tower, the
liquid flows down from glass to glass, dry ice in glasses make fog, creating an
attractive, effervescent waterfall.

II/ SYMBOLS AT VIETNAMESE WEDDING

Vietnamese wedding symbols are  usually found on the couple's pillows, and on
decoration items such as wall stickers, album covers, clothes covering the
lacquered boxes, invitation cards, etc. 
1/ Song Hỷ character
Song hỷ character consists of 2 characters "hỷ", which means happiness, especially
the happiness at the wedding. Song means two, Song hỷ means that the happiness
will be multiplied.

Song Hy character

2/ A pair of Dragon and Phoenix

Dragon and Phoenix are two of Four Holy Beasts (Tứ Linh). The dragon
symbolizes the husband while phoenix symbolizes the wife. A pair of dragon and
phoenix represents a beautiful and happy couple. Dragon and phoenix can be found
on wedding backdrops, lacquered boxes of fruits, couple's pillows, wall stickers,
wedding money boxes, etc.
 Dragon and Phoenix

3/ A pair of love birds

A pair of love birds is the symbol of love not only in Vietnam but also in many
countries in the world. A pair of love birds is a meaningful symbol in Vietnamese
wedding traditions. It marks the day when the bride and the groom are to be one
and undivided. This symbol traditionally is embroidered on the pillow covers of
the couples.
 A pair of love birds
Besides, pairs of two dragons, carps, two peacocks are also symbols of love and
happy marriage in Vietnam.

III/ BETEL LEAVES AND ARECA NUTS

Betel leaves and areca nuts represents the faith. Their origin was based on a sad
Vietnamese love story folklore.
There are twin brothers of the Cao family who love each other so much. The older
brother gets married to a beautiful girl who is the daughter of Master Luu – the
twins’ teacher. They have a happy marriage. Yet, the younger brother is sad
because the older brother less takes care of him. One day, the wife thinks that the
younger brother is her husband and hugs the younger brother when the older
brother arrives at home. Since then, the relationship between the brothers is about
to get worse.
One day, the younger brother leave the house, goes into the forest, sits next to a
stream to take a rest. He cries so much, then dies of the cold, and turns into a rock.
The older brother regrets the relationship, he also goes into the forest to find his
brother. He leans against the rock, cries, moans, and also dies of the cold. Unlike
his sibling, he turns into a high tree. Having waiting for her beloved husband for so
long, the wife also goes to the forest to find him. Unfortunately, she dies next to
the tree which used to be her husband and turns into a vine twisting tightly around
the tree.
Hung King goes by the place where the rock, tree, and vine are located. He orders
to mix the vine leaves and the flesh of the nuts plugged from the tree. Although the
mixture tastes a little spicy, people still addicts it. Amazingly, the extract from the
mixture will turn red when it is poured on the rock. They call the tree areca tree
(cây cau), call the vine betel (dây trầu), call the rock limestone (vôi).
From that time, Vietnamese people started to chew betel leaves, areca nuts, and
minced limestone to make the lips red, teeth black and shiny, and mouth smelling.
Betel chewing is a Vietnamese custom. These days, there are not many Vietnamese
people chew betel leaves and areca nuts because of the spicy taste.
Betel leaves and areca nuts have become a symbol of marriage in Vietnam for
thousand years. It will be a shortcoming if there are no betel leaves and areca nuts
in the wedding.

IV/ LACQUERED BOX

Lacquered boxes play an important role in Vietnamese wedding traditions.
Lacquered boxes are usually in round shape which represents the fulfilling love.
They are usually in red color, sometimes golden or pink color, crafted and painted
with floral, dragon and phoenix, Song hỷ character.
Presents in the boxes are decorated with heart or Song hỷ character stickers, ribbon
bows, fresh flowers such as gerbera daisies, plumeria flowers
The number of boxes depends on regions and family traditions.

1/ South Vietnam
In South Vietnam, there are 6 types of lacquered boxes:
The first box is for areca nuts and betel leaves. Bunches of areca nuts are arranged
in the center of the box, betel leaves are put around the nuts. The number of areca
nuts is usually 105 which is considered as lucky number for the couple. One areca
nuts go with two betel leaves. The areca nut can be decorated with a tiny heart or
Song hỷ character sticker.
The second box is for tea (boxes of tea, a teapot, and two teacups), wine bottles
and candles. Tea and wine are prepared for both engagement and wedding
ceremonies. Candles are usually big and with carving dragon and phoenix patterns.
This box represents the couple's respect to their parents, grandparents, the elderly
in families, and ancestors.
The third box is for Husband and wife cakes. Husband and wife cake is made from
mung beans, pandan leaves, coconut meat and tapioca starch. The chewy green
crust made from tapioca starch and shredded coconut meat and buttery filling of
mung beans are wrapped in pandan leaf inner wraps and square coconut leaf outer
wraps. Green square cakes are also decorated with stickers. Husband and wife
cakes represent the Sky and the Earth, the coupling of yin and yang, husband and
wife in Vietnam.
The fourth box is for Steamed sticky rice. The rice should be in red color and made
from the flesh of Gac (Momordica cochinchinensis) fruit and sticky rice. The red
color is believed to bring good luck to the couple. The box can also contain yellow
Mung bean sticky rice. Sticky rice is a symbol of prosperity. A box which contains
full of Steamed sticky rice is to wish the husband and wife life is always fulfilling,
has enough foods to eat and enough clothes to wear, The sticky rice is shaped as a
heart with Song hỷ character in the middle.
The fifth box is for fruits. The box usually contains 5 kinds of fruits which
symbolize 5 basic elements: metal, water, wood, fire, and earth. 5 fruits also
symbolize 5 wishes to the couple richness (phú), precious (quý), longevity (thọ),
strong health (khang), stability (ninh). However, they can arrange more than 5
kinds of fruits in fruit boxes. In North Vietnam, lacquered boxes usually contain
oranges, apples, peaches, persimmons, grapes/pears. In South Vietnam, they
usually arrange mangos, custard apples, dragon fruits, apples, grapes, papayas in
lacquered boxes. The fruits should not be too heavy so that the bridesmaids and
groomsmaids can bring them easily. Rich families usually buy fruits in dragon and
phoenix shapes to arrange on altars. 
The final box is for roasted pork: The pork should not be too big, it is better to
roast a 2 – 3 kg suckling pork. The roasted pork has crispy, red, and shiny skin. It
is usually decorated with colorful flowers.
Some families only prepare 4 boxes, without roasted pork, Husband and wife
cakes.
 Lacquered boxes in South Vietnam

2/ North Vietnam
In North Vietnam, the number of lacquered boxes should be odd and the number of
presents should be even. For example, there are 100 areca nuts and 100 betel
leaves. The number of boxes can be 3, 5, 7, 9, 11, 13, 15. In North Vietnam,
betrothal gifts consist of the following boxes:

- Box of areca nuts and betel leaves.

- Box of tea.
- Box of wine bottles and tobacco.
- Box of cakes and candies.
- Box of beer and soft drinks.
- Box of Steamed sticky rice.
- Box of fruits.
- Box of fruits in dragon and phoenix shape.
- Box of roasted pork.
- Box of husband-and-wife cakes.
- Box of green rice flake cakes.  They are packaged in green and red paper boxes.
This cake is only popular in North Vietnam.
- Box of mung bean cake.
- Box of Square sticky rice cake and Round glutinous rice cake.
- Box of lotus seed candies.
- Box of grilled girdle cakes.
 Lacquered boxes in North Vietnam

Wedding is an important event in one’s life. Wedding traditions are different from
regions to regions, which makes Vietnamese culture become more diverse. 
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