FIRM UP

Proper Behavior During Mealtime

Manners can also be taught by watching and mimicking parents and peers. But because
manners aren’t instinctual like walking, explaining boundaries, appropriate behavior at the
table, and rules becomes an important part of learning this life skill! And once they learn, those
habits will benefit them in future social situations.

1. Wash hands before coming to the table.  Clean hands keep kids healthy!  Bottom line.
Kids can understand that germs on their hands could get into their bodies if they use
those dirty hands for eating. Make this easy for your kids by having a small step stool in
the bathroom or by the kitchen sink.  This CAN become a habit!  I’ve seen kids as young
as 2 years old washing their hands before a meal without their parents reminding them,
because it was a habit!

2. Don’t talk with your mouth full.  This must be taught, as I know ADULTS who never
learned it! If your bite of food is too big for your mouth to close, the bite was just too
big!  No one wants to see the food in your mouth while you are eating.

3. Say please and thank you. Being polite is especially appropriate at the dinner table! 
Saying please shows respect to those you are eating with, and saying thank you shows
gratitude. Both of these behaviors are getting lost in society and teaching your kids
while they are young will certainly pay off.

4. Wait to be excused until everyone is (at least mostly) finished eating. Dinner doesn’t
have to be long! For fidgety kids, practice staying put for at least the first ten minutes of
the meal.

5. Put napkin in your lap. I think it’s OK to make a game of this.  If you can sit through the
meal without your napkin falling off your lap, than you’re a winner! Kids can use the
napkin to wipe their hands or their mouths, but while they are young, it can indicate
they were able to sit still at the table.

6. Take bites in the appropriate size for your mouth. I wish I could say I had more success
with this, but it isn’t for a lack of trying!  My teenage boys forget this basic rule!

7. Avoid using devices at the table (watching TV, tablets, phones, video games, etc).  This
is not only polite, but respectful to the people at your table. Collect devices before the
 meal starts. This can become a habit to not even check your phone during your
meal. Again, a meal doesn’t need to be longer than 15 minutes, so it’s completely
appropriate to expect that amount of time to be device free.
8. Express thanks for the meal. This is why I love manners! Kids can be accused of being
entitled and spoiled, yet when they simply express thankfulness for a meal, they are
humbled and appreciative.

9. Clear your plate, and offer to clear others near you. Kindness can be expressed by
helping out, and after dinner, everyone should help out.  Clearing your plate, or offering
to do it helps kids to be a little less selfish.

10. Avoid in appropriate noises like burping out loud.  I just had to throw this one in here
because apparently, this rule needs to be said out loud! Haha!

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Teaching Kids Good Table Manners

Whether you’re eating at home, dining out, or having dinner with friends,
good table manners for kids are an important part of every meal. When you
teach your child good mealtime etiquette, you are giving them important
tools for social interaction that will serve them for the rest of their lives.

Lying the groundwork can really start when your child begins to speak and
use utensils. And as with much of parenting, this will take a while to catch
on. What's most important? Keeping things pressure-free and modeling the
behaviors you want them to adopt.

Table Manners for Little Kids

Every meal can serve as an opportunity for kids to learn how to exercise
proper etiquette. From using their utensils properly to waiting until everyone
has been served, little kids can learn how to be respectful and practice table
manners.

Be patient but consistent in your instruction and your kids will eventually get
the hang of things.

Here are some basic things you can begin to teach kids:
1. Come to the Table with Hands and Face Clean
Teach children to wash up before dinner. Not only does this show respect for
the person who prepared the meal as well as others at the dinner table, but
it is also an important healthy hygiene habit.1
2. Wait Until Everyone Is Served Before Eating
Teach your child that they should not begin eating until everyone is seated
and served. Starting to eat before everyone has been seated is disrespectful.
Dinner is meant to be enjoyed together.

3. Chew with Your Mouth Closed

Chewing with your mouth closed and not talking when your mouth is full are
two cardinal rules of good table manners. Gently remind your child of this if
they forget.

4. Avoid Stuffing Your Mouth

Teach your child to take small bites and never wolf down their food.

One way they can practice this habit is to put their fork down between bites.
They can even put their hands in their lap while they chew.

5. Be Polite
If they ask for seconds or for someone to pass something, they should follow
the request with "please."

They also should say thank you to the person who prepared the meal and
anyone serving them.

6. Use Utensils and Napkins

With few exceptions, like pizza and hamburgers, kids should be discouraged
from eating with their hands—especially if they have moved beyond finger
foods. Show them how to hold their fork properly.

In addition, teach them to place a napkin in their lap—and remind them to

use that instead of their clothes when wiping their hands or mouth.
 7. Refrain from Criticizing the Food
In preschool, teachers often tell kids: "Don't yuck another person's yum."
Acknowledge that it's OK that they don't like something, but remind them
that that doesn't mean others agree.

It is also worth explaining to them that they can express gratitude for the
food and the work that went into preparing it without actually liking what
they were served.

That said, kids should not be forced to eat something they don't want. It's
OK if they say "no thank you." While you can ask that they try new foods,
don't force them to clean their plates.

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Table manners have evolved over centuries to make the practice of eating with others
pleasant and sociable. With so many table manners to keep track, keep these basic, but
oh-so-important, table manners in mind as you eat:

1. Chew with your mouth closed.

2. Keep your smartphone off the table and set to silent or vibrate. Wait to check
calls and texts until you are finished with the meal and away from the table.
3. Hold utensils correctly. Don’t use your fork or spoon like a shovel or stab your
food.
4. Wash up and come to the table clean. Don’t groom or attend to hygiene at the
table.
5. Remember to use your napkin.
6. Wait until you’re done chewing to sip or swallow a drink.
7. Pace yourself with fellow diners. Cut only one piece of food at a time.
8. Avoid slouching and don’t place your elbows on the table while eating (though it
is okay to prop your elbows on the table while conversing between courses, and always
has been, even in Emily’s day).
9. Instead of reaching across the table for something, ask for it to be passed to you.
10. Bring your best self to the meal. Take part in the dinner conversation.
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Table Manners 101: Do's and Don'ts for Kids

Do's and Don'ts

1. Don't voice negative opinions. No one should ever say 'I hate such and such' or 'such
and such is disgusting' at the dinner table. It's rude.

2. Give everything a try. Unless one is allergic to a food item, one should always try
everything being served.

3. Stay seated. This can be hard with little kids who want to run around all the time. But
it's important for children to stay seated throughout a meal.
4. Elbows can go on table between courses. But they should never be on the table while
eating.

5. Ask for things to be passed. You can grab something if it is within arm’s length, but
any farther and you should ask for it to be passed to you.

6. Chew with your mouth closed. Enough said.

7. Ask to be excused. Whether it's to go to the rest room or to leave the table, etiquette
dictates that one should always ask the host or a parent if they can leave the table.

8. Wash hands before you eat. Personal hygiene is always polite.

9. Don't do the roll rifle. If rolls are served in a basket, never shuffle through the basket
to find the one you want. Just look and grab the first one you touch.
 10. Keep the conversation clean. "When I teach the kids, we go through conversation
skills and I'll tell them main thing is you don't want to talk about anything medical or
to do potty talk," Trower said. Instead, encourage kids to talk about what they're up to
at school or what they're looking forward to doing in the future.

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