Mindful

Travelling
other titles in this series:
The Art of Mindful Baking
The Art of Mindful Birdwatching
The Art of Mindful Gardening
The Art of Mindful Reading
The Art of Mindful Silence
The Art of Mindful Singing
The Art of Mindful Walking
Einstein and the Art of Mindful Cycling
Galileo and the Art of Ageing Mindfully
Happiness and How it Happens
The Heart of Mindful Relationships
The Joy of Mindful Writing
The Mindful Art of Wild Swimming
The Mindful Man
Mindful Crafting
Mindful Pregnancy and Birth
Mindfulness and Compassion
Mindfulness and Music
Mindfulness and Surfing
Mindfulness and the Art of Drawing
Mindfulness and the Art of Managing Anger
Mindfulness and the Art of Urban Living
Mindfulness and the Journey of Bereavement
Mindfulness and the Natural World
Mindfulness at Work
Mindfulness for Black Dogs and Blue Days
Mindfulness for Students
Mindfulness for Unravelling Anxiety
The Mindfulness in Knitting
The Practice of Mindful Yoga
Zen and the Path of Mindful Parenting
 Mindful
Travelling
Journeying the World, Discovering Yourself

Sarah Samuel

Leaping Hare Press

 First published in the UK and North America in 2019 by
Leaping Hare Press
An imprint of The Quarto Group
The Old Brewery, 6 Blundell Street, London N7 9BH, United Kingdom
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Text © 2019 Sarah Samuel

Design and layout © 2019 Quarto Publishing plc
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced
or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including
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without written permission from the copyright holder.
British Library Cataloguing-in-Publication Data
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
ISBN: 978-1-78240-929-8
Digital edition: 978-1-78240-9-304
Hardcover edition: 978-1-78240-9-298
This book was conceived, designed and produced by
Leaping Hare Press
58 West Street, Brighton BN1 2RA, United Kingdom
Publisher Susan Kelly
Art Director James Lawrence
Editorial Director Tom Kitch
Commissioning Editor Monica Perdoni
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Printed in China
1 3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2
 C ontents

Introduction 6
Chapter One
A Mindful Approach to Travelling 12
Chapter Two
A Mindful Intention 30
Chapter Three
A Journey to Ourselves 58
Chapter Four
Embracing Our Experience 72
Chapter Five
In Awe of the World Around Us 94
Chapter Six
A World Full of Paradoxes 114
Chapter Seven
Coming Home 128
Index 142
Acknowledgements 144


 Introduction
Mindfulness happens effortlessly when we travel.
When we take time to step away from our daily
routines to enter new surroundings, we naturally
become more present.We open up to the exciting and
the unknown, forced to pay attention as our senses
respond to new stimuli – be it witnessing unusual
landscapes, tasting exotic foods or watching local
people. As we effortlessly respond to the now, we also
open up to different aspects of ourselves, expanding
our appreciation of not just the world around us, but
the world within us, and the joy of being alive.

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 i n t ro d u c t i o n

T ravelling the W orld , F eeling A live

◆

We live in an awe-inspiring world. If I stop for a moment to ponder

the myriad of landscapes, cities and cultures that I could poten-
tially visit, I feel like a child in an Aladdin’s cave of wonders. It fills
me with a sense of possibility, excitement and freedom.

T ravelling is a feast for the senses, giving us the

opportunity to explore and find something new and
exciting every day. There is a plethora of possible destinations
to choose from – palm-lined beaches with turquoise waters,
jagged mountain ranges and plunging gorges, bustling cities
with vibrant markets, tropical jungles and barren deserts.
There are Buddhist temples, skyscrapers and medieval hilltop
villages. There are people of different languages and cultures,
and cuisines with an array of flavours and scents.
When we transport ourselves from one culture to another
we naturally become observers, able to bring stillness into the
hustle and bustle of the world around us. Our senses become
heightened as we respond to new sounds, smells and sights.

The Perfect Trip

Now, more than ever before, people from all walks of life are
taking the opportunity to travel. Modern media enables us to
find out anything we want to know about most places in the
world – how to get there, where to stay, what to do, where to

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 i n t ro d u c t i o n

‘All journeys have secret destinations of which

the traveller is unaware.’
From ‘Hasidism and Modern Man’
Martin Buber

eat. We can buy flights and book hotel rooms in an instant.

Other travellers’ reviews verify these places so that we know
what to expect and enable us to tailor-make our perfect trip.
Wonderful as these resources are, the perfect trip cannot
be found in a guidebook, map or web page. The perfect trip is
found in the ability to be open and present to all we
experience, and it is often the unplanned experiences that
delight us the most, from chance encounters with friendly
local people to the hidden nooks we find when we get lost.

Connection with What Makes Us Feel Alive

Above all, travelling is really about connection. By taking
ourselves out of our ordinary daily lives, to connect with
loved ones, with the Earth or with ourselves, we gain
perspective on our own life and what is important to us. In
the awareness of each stage of travelling, be it the patience
that is required to board a plane, or the appreciation of sink-
ing our teeth into a ripe, sun-warmed fig, we shake up the
mundaneness inside ourselves, so that our lives become
broader and our knowledge of self deeper.

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 i n t ro d u c t i o n

A common misconception about mindfulness is that its

purpose is to help us feel more relaxed and happy. This is only
a half-truth. In our awareness of all that is, we disrupt the
status quo, confronting aspects of ourselves and the world
around us that we would otherwise prefer to avoid. Our
world is both a beautiful, miraculous place and a heart-
wrenching, unjust place. We cannot shut ourselves off from
one and feel only the other. Travelling with an open heart, we
embrace both the pain and joy of the world and our lives.

About This Book

This book is not so much about where to travel to as it is about
how and why to travel, so that travelling becomes a joyful and
life-enhancing experience. It is about how to be open, curious
and present as you step into
Travelling with an open the new and unknown, letting
heart, we embrace both go of the need to plan and con-
the pain and joy of our trol. My intention is to inspire
you to embrace the sense of
world and our lives
freedom that goes with leaving
your home behind to step onto the open road with a myriad
of possibilities and exciting potential.
You will be encouraged to step beyond your comfort zone
to exciting experiences that allow you to feel your edges and
as a consequence feel fully alive; to contemplate what it is that
draws you to certain places and people; and to consider how,

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 i n t ro d u c t i o n

by travelling, you can learn more about yourself beyond your

own culture and conditioned self. I suggest ways to confront
the many challenges we may face when we travel, and how to
embrace a world (and our own lives) that can be full of
paradoxes. I explore what it means to embrace the richness
and diversity of life, whilst at the same time feeling the unity
of being human. And lastly, I give ideas about how to bring the
experience of travelling back home with you – staying open,
curious and present to all that is in your daily life.

11
 Chapter one

A Mindful
Approach to
T ravelling
Paradoxically, our ability to enjoy travelling
is determined by our ability to be still. Not until
we are able to be fully present in a place, can we fully
appreciate it. Leaving our homes behind can bring
anxiety and a sense of vulnerability, but beyond this
is the opportunity for us to witness and be part of the
world’s natural, cultural and architectural wonders,
which jolt us into the present moment and give us
perspective on our own lives. If we allow it, we begin
to connect more deeply with the awe of life, and
the sense of aliveness that ensues.

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 a m i n d f u l a p p r o a c h t o t r av e l l i n g

S eeing with the R ight E yes

◆

I have always been fascinated by the ability to be transported from

my familiar surroundings to seemingly new worlds, where my
perception and knowledge of the world as I know it is constantly
reinvented and delighted.

Y et, whether one is fortunate enough to experience

the elemental landscapes of Iceland, the sacred stupas of
Myanmar, the misty glens of Scotland or the buzzing sidewalks
of NewYork, our ability to appreciate where we are ultimately
depends on our outlook on life and how we are feeling inside.
Take an angry person anywhere, and the food will never be
good enough, the journey never smooth enough and the
people never friendly enough.We may travel to get away from
it all but wherever we go, we take ourselves.
When we experience anything new, our minds are abuzz,
stirring our emotions. As we interpret, imagine, expect, yearn
and reflect, we bring ourselves to what surrounds us. Our
experience depends on all that we bring to it – memories,
feelings, bodily sensations and thoughts. If we want to enhance
◆

‘We do not see things as they are.

We see things as we are.’
Anonymous

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our experience, we need to bring awareness to how we are in

each moment. This may be a tall order, but by bringing aware-
ness to all that we are, we have the opportunity to change it.
This is what mindfulness is. When we are curious and accept-
ing of what is, we open ourselves up to new possibilities.

Opening Our Eyes to the World Around and In Us

When we adopt a mindful approach to travelling we set the
intention to be more aware of what is going on inside us, and
around us, and in doing so to understand how we see the
world through our own eyes. We discover more about our
unique relationship with the world – what draws our atten-
tion, what stimulates us and what we dislike. We also become
more aware of our own feelings and emotions, and how this
affects our interpretation of the world and our experiences.
Our ability to really appreciate where we are, at any given
moment, is really down to our ability to be still. The moments
of travel that are the most vivid in my memory are those
moments when what was going on inside me – be it anger,
excitement, joy or sadness – settled down and I was able to
be completely present with what was around me. This could
be giving my full attention to a flower, with its textures,
colours and scent, or sitting on the side of a hill, taking in the
view of the valley below and the surrounding peaks. In the
stillness, I become part of the scene, connected to all that is,
simultaneously aware of my own response to it. These are the

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moments that we can hold onto forever and re-enter in our

memories time and time again. These are the moments that
remind us of our ultimate connection to all that is.
When we enter stillness, we naturally become a more con-
scious observer of all that is. When we let go of the need to
change anything, we can acknowledge and accept things as
they are, opening up to all that is around us and what naturally
arises within us. While we are travelling, it is this sense of
stillness that will also sustain us through the trickier times,
holding onto the trust that the stillness remains and can be
found if we give it a chance. Whilst sounding simple, it takes
practice to be aware of thought and let it go, and this is why
many begin with meditation.

Mindfulness Meditation
Mindfulness meditation generally involves sitting or walking
somewhere that is free of distractions in order to focus on the
sounds, sights and smells of our surroundings, or to focus
within, perhaps on our breath or a mantra. Thoughts may pop
up and begin to take over, as is a habitual pattern for many,
but the focus on the breath or a mantra helps to bring us back
into the present moment. As we become more aware of the
now, letting go of our thoughts, we allow ourselves to sense
and feel more fully, and naturally become more curious about
what we are experiencing. When we apply this approach to
anything in our lives, our experience is enhanced and deepens.

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MINDFULNESS EXERCISE

being still

As you sit reading this book, allow yourself five minutes to be still. Make
yourself comfortable, preferably sitting in a space with few distractions. This
may be seated at a desk or an armchair, or cross-legged on the floor.
• Close your eyes and bring your awareness to your breath. Allow your
breath to simply be as it is. Follow its rise and fall, resisting any urge to
change it. Simply notice how it is.
• Thoughts may come in that pull you away from this awareness. If they do,
gently keep coming back to your breath.
• After a minute or so, sense the shift in your being as a result of doing this
exercise. Are you more grounded or calmer? Do you want to keep going or
stop? Or perhaps you are berating yourself because you think you are not
doing it properly? If so, see if you can allow yourself to get it wrong. The
object of this exercise is to be aware of how you are, not to be perfect.
• After a few minutes, open your eyes. With a soft gaze, become aware of all
that is within your range of vision. Bring your focus to one object, perhaps a
plant, a pencil or a cup. Notice the detail, its stillness or movement, its colour,
its shape. Are things beginning to feel more vibrant? Had you noticed this
level of detail before?
•  Every now and then throughout the day, take a few moments to focus on
your breath and then notice all that is around you.

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‘Mindfulness provides a simple but powerful

route for getting ourselves unstuck, back in touch with
our own wisdom and vitality.’
From ‘Mindfulness for Beginners’
Jon Kabat-Zinn

What Stops Us from Being Still?

We are all born loving ourselves, but as our lives unfold we
generally lose that feeling and end up believing that we are
not enough as we are. As young children, we quickly learn
that there are certain behaviours that are approved of and
others that aren’t. Most children seek to be loved by their
parents and so begin to conform. This continues as we go to
school, begin relationships and enter work. We learn what is
acceptable and what is not, yet we likely have feelings that
contradict what we deem to be appropriate, such as anger,
jealousy and sadness. We may also find ourselves not meeting
others’ expectations of us, perhaps by not studying hard
enough or not following our parent’s religious beliefs. It is
very common to go on to spend our adult lives still believing
we are somehow not enough as we are, and still needing to do
more in order to prove our self-worth and be loved. Unless
we can begin to feel OK as we are right now, in all our disap-
pointments, apparent failures and feelings of unworthiness,
then no amount of striving will get us there in the future.

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For me, meditation is the space I enter within myself that

allows me to accept that I am OK just as I am, and that all that
surrounds me is just as it needs to be. It is a space for compas-
sion and unconditional self-love.
This is incredibly liberating. So many of our actions are
fuelled by the desire to be achieving, to be growing, to be
approved of, to be making money or to feel better than we are
right now. When we can stop, and just be, we let go of these
pressures. As we stop for a few moments, thoughts usually
come in to tell us that we need to be getting on, we need to
be responding to that email, to be vacuuming or to be prepar-
ing dinner. Often these requests for our attention can seem
very pressing and we can feel compelled to act. What’s really
happening is that our ego is trying to stop us from being still,
because its role is to be telling us that we need to be doing or
achieving and that we are not enough as we are.

Our Addiction to Being Busy

I frequently have a list of things that I need to do. Whilst self-
discipline is an important attribute, enabling us to get things
done, sometimes what we love to do can become a chore
because we are doing it out a sense of needing approval, fear
of failure or not wanting to let others down. Writing this
book for example, is something that I love doing, but only
when I feel inspired. There are days when I feel the pressure
to write something because I have an approaching deadline

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but nothing comes to me. I begin to fear not delivering or not

having anything to say. My fears of not achieving and not
being approved of crack the whip to get things done, and my
creativity is stifled.
Only when I remind myself that I am OK as I am, by allow-
ing myself to be as I am and allowing life to be as it is, whether
or not this book is written, whether or not my apartment is
tidy and whether or not I am looking presentable, does my
creativity start to flow again. From this point of inner accep-
tance, life becomes far less of a struggle.
The problem for many of us is not that we are not doing
enough, it is that we are not being enough. The list of things to
be done is endless; we can never complete it. It is not from
our doing but from our being that all things follow. Otherwise,
we can find ourselves like an orchestra without a conductor.
The conductor is equivalent to our ‘being’ or our essence,
which unifies our doing into something that we are conscious
of and that contributes to our long-term wellbeing. We can
only connect with our essence when we allow stillness.

Stopping & Reconnecting

When we travel, we may let go of our usual ‘to do’ list that we
have at home, only to replace it with another ‘to do’ list. This
might be all the sights we can see, all the activities we can do
or the presents we need to buy. We believe we need to have
something to show from our trip or some experience to gain.

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MINDFULNESS EXERCISE

taking a mindful moment


Every now and then, on your journey or in your day, hold the
intention to stop for a minute or two and practise a moment of
mindfulness.
• Bring your awareness to your breath, and its rise and fall.
•  Sense how you are feeling – perhaps relaxed, anxious or excited.
• Take a look around you. Allow your attention to fall on some-
thing, maybe a book, a tree, the sky.
•  Become curious about the shapes, colours or textures you can see.
• Notice how you feel after doing this. Are you any calmer, more
curious or more centred?
• Feel free to continue with this enquiry or to go back to whatever
you were doing beforehand.

If, however, for a moment on our journey we take a

moment simply to stop and be – letting go of any need to do,
perhaps bringing awareness to our breath or focusing on an
aspect of our surroundings – we reconnect with our soul. As
we allow all to be as it is, in whatever we are feeling, be it
impatience, anxiety or joy, and accept that everything is OK
as it is, our experience becomes less about counting and being
able to recount what we have done, and more about appreci-
ating the gifts of each moment. These moments are gateways
to a much wider consciousness and enable us to begin to
follow our curiosity, intuition and joy.

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T he M indful T ravellers ’ T ool K it

◆

Some of the key attitudes of mindfulness, such as curiosity and open-

ness to the new, are also the reasons many of us want to travel.
Other qualities – such as patience, non-judgement and having a
‘beginner’s mind’ – may be less obvious. However, when we take time
to understand the importance of adopting these attitudes, and apply
them to our journeys, we find that the world, and our hearts, open
up in extraordinary ways.

F rom stillness, curiosity follows. What makes each

one of us curious is unique to us and is intrinsic to learn-
ing more about ourselves and what makes us who we are. As
we allow ourselves to follow our curiosity, there is no desti-
nation; we simply need to prioritize our soul’s urges. For
some this may be sitting in a café observing social interactions
whilst feeling invigorated by the bustling atmosphere. For
others, it might be walking in the countryside and feeling the
urge to take off their shoes to feel the grass beneath their feet.
Some may be fascinated by architecture and the wonders of
human creativity, and follow their impulse to seek out tem-
ples or churches and marvel at the lines, curves and symmetry.
If we hold the intention to be curious whilst away, we find
a unique way to understand more about ourselves. Taking
time to do and appreciate what we feel drawn to, we are led
on a path that is both meaningful and joyful, and which may

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even lead us towards making changes in what we do for a

living or what we choose to study further in the future. At
home, we may not give ourselves the opportunity to follow
our curiosity in quite the same way.
I have a fascination with colour and this leads me to follow
my curiosity about colour when I travel. I notice the rather
dull greys, navy blues and blacks on the clothes of passengers
on the London Underground, compared to the vibrancy of
sari colours in many of India’s cities. I am drawn by the par-
ticular shades of a flower or the wonderful pink, orange and
red hues of the sky as the sun sets. It took me many years to

MINDFULNESS EXERCISE

prioritizing your curiosity


One way to explore how we can make our lives more inspiring and
stimulating is to prioritize our curiosity. Travel can then become the
perfect excuse to indulge in following our natural impulses.
• Take a few moments to settle yourself. Ask yourself, what you are
naturally curious about? Clues will come in the type of books that
attract you, or the films or television programmes you watch. Per-
haps nature, art, history, cookery, culture, spirituality?
• As you begin to tap into your curiosity, write down all the things
that you are effortlessly drawn to doing and that excite you.
• Now consider what you would love to explore more in each of
these areas. Does this give you inspiration for your next trip?

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realize that my fascination with colour, whilst not something

that anyone had taught me to notice, was what helped to
make me unique. As I prioritized my curiosity for colour I
consciously chose vibrant colours to wear. A few years ago, I
tentatively picked up a paintbrush to swirl colours onto a
canvas, and now this activity nourishes my life, and my expres-
sion of colour is incorporated into the work that I do to
support individuals and organizations to be more creative.

Compassion
It is inevitable that things will not go according to plan when
travelling, and we can find ourselves feeling upset, frustrated,
scared or lonely. We can either fight what we are feeling, will-
ing our feelings to go away, or we can be gentle with ourselves,
understanding that we have good reason to feel the way we
do. As we allow our feelings, and are kind to ourselves, we
begin to come into balance. It becomes OK to feel as we do;
we can separate who we are from how we feel, and as a
consequence be open to the possibility of helping ourselves.
When we are compassionate towards ourselves, this will
naturally extend to others and our environment, helping us to
be more understanding of difference and more caring of the
place we are in.When we come across people who are different
to us, perhaps who behave in ways that we do not understand,
in our compassion we know that they have their reasons for
their behaviour and are worthy of love and kindness regardless.

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One of the most life-enhancing aspects of travel is to

realize that wherever we might go in the world we are met by
kindness from others, keen to help us if we are in difficulty,
and greeting us with warmth. These people know nothing
about us, but share a common sense of humanity and the
compassion that comes with that.

Open-Mindedness
One of the joys of venturing into new places, lands and
cultures is to encounter customs or ways of doing things that
contrast with those we are used to, such as the way people
dress or greet each other. Our ability to embrace and enjoy
the diversity of life will depend on how much we can open
our minds to the new. If we are willing to try new foods,
listen to new music or adapt our routine then we will enjoy
our experience all the more. The same is true in life: when we
are open to new ideas and ways of being, we expand our
choices about how we want to be in life.
Whilst we may consider ourselves to be open-minded and
delighted by new experiences, we will likely also come across
ones that we find hard to like or accept. I have often come
across situations that have challenged me. This can happen
particularly in cultures that are very different from my own.
Once whilst in South Korea, the waitress entered our private
dining room with a tuna eyeball on a plate. As I stared in
horror, she proceeded to cut it up for us to eat. This dish was

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‘We live in a wonderful world that is full of beauty,

charm and adventure. There is no end to the adventures
that we can have if only we seek them with our eyes open.’
From ‘Jawaharlal Nehru’s Speeches’
Jawaharlal Nehru (1889–1964), first prime minister of India

considered a great delicacy by my hosts, who were baffled as

to why I squirmed. I eat tuna at home, but somehow eating an
eyeball – with its gelatinous texture, and being so clearly part
of an animal – made me feel revulsion and I could not bring
myself to put it in my mouth. I was not open-minded enough
to override my feelings; my subconscious beliefs were too
strong. However, this experience made me begin to open my
mind with regards to my belief system about eating animals
and the culture of meat-eating that I come from – one that
doesn’t like to associate the living animal with the meat we eat.

Non-Judgement
Hand-in-hand with open-mindedness comes non-judgement.
Open-mindedness allows us to experience the fullness of who
we are without limiting ourselves by our unconscious judge-
ments. However, non-judgemental awareness extends beyond
this, and refers to the calm observation of what is going on,
wherever we find ourselves. This is easy when we are observ-
ing local people in unfamiliar cultures as they go about their

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ordinary lives, which are actually extraordinary to us. It is

more challenging to be a calm observer when we come across
something that conflicts with what we believe to be right or
when we feel something which is unpleasant, perhaps when
we encounter political, religious or cultural ideas that are
different to our own. Being non-judgemental is not to say we
cannot have a preference over what we like or don’t like, but
that we do not judge it as being right or wrong. We simply
accept that it is, which then enables us to respond from a
centred place within ourselves.

A Beginner’s Mind
Landing in a place that we are not familiar with lands us as
beginners in a new world and this can be both delightful and
unsettling. Not understanding a local language or how to buy
a train ticket can leave us feeling helpless. Being a beginner
requires us to acknowledge our vulnerability and be open to
asking for help. In Zen Buddhism there is a term shoshin,
which refers to the childlike state required for learning to
take place – one of openness, curiosity and eagerness. The
beauty of being a beginner is that we are more present. An
attitude of shoshin is particularly easy to adopt when we travel.
When we see something new and unfamiliar, we accept it for
what it is. We let go of any need to know or be right. The first
time we see the ocean, or arrive in a land completely different
to our own we look on in wonder.

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Somehow when things become familiar to us, we forget to

really look. We go on autopilot as we commute to work or
walk down familiar streets, lacking curiosity, and are gener-
ally caught up in our thoughts rather than being present to
where we are. In contrast, as a beginner in a new land we
notice and appreciate so much more of our surroundings.
A friend visited me in my home town and the day she
arrived we went out for the evening. I guided her around,
knowing exactly where I was going and my favourite place to
eat and drink. It was all so familiar to me, but to her it was the
first time she had been here. She stopped every few minutes
to look at people and take photos of graffiti and characterful
buildings. Later, she posted her photos online and I was
amazed to see images of so many places that I had never
stopped to take notice of.

Being Open to Making Mistakes

It can be highly embarrassing to make mistakes anywhere, but
it is bound to happen when we are in a foreign culture with
social norms that we are unfamiliar with. We will get things
wrong, make social faux pas and likely get lost. Being light on
ourselves and not taking ourselves so seriously as we stumble
and fumble – rather than feeling we need to always get things
right – can be the difference between embracing our experi-
ence and feeling awkward and anxious. It’s also a great lesson
for life. When we know that we will make mistakes and get

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 a m i n d f u l a p p r o a c h t o t r av e l l i n g

things wrong in life, and accept the feelings of embarrassment

or failure that go with that, we allow ourselves to be less lim-
ited by fear and more open to the possibilities in our lives.

Patience
Travelling puts us in situations that test our patience. When
we have pressing engagements to make, or activities that we
are yearning to do, we do not want to miss them or be waiting
for hours in a queue.
The reality is that most journeys take time, and many do
not go according to plan. In accepting this, and making peace
with the present moment, we practise patience. Not only is
this essential to our sense of calmness, but, somewhat ironi-
cally, when we are patient and OK with the delays and the
waiting, life flows better. This doesn’t mean we need to be
inactive or resigned to what is happening. In being patient we
will see more opportunities to act because we are not fixed
on our plan and are open to alternatives. Patience is the
acceptance of what is, in the face of what we were expecting.
There may be nothing we can do, except be present to our
frustration and give ourselves the compassion we need.
Throughout this book I will use examples of where all these
attributes – from patience to open-mindedness, compassion
to curiosity – are helpful, whether it be in the challenges we
face when we travel, or in expanding our sense of joy and
connection as we open ourselves up to new experiences.

29
 CHAPTER two

A Mindful
Intention
Travel is a wonderful opportunity to follow our
inquisitive and restless spirit that knows there is more
to life than we often allow ourselves to experience at
home. As we take time out to connect with loved ones,
be in nature or feel the buzz of an unfamiliar city, we
also connect with ourselves and the vibrancy of our
life. Our intention for travelling requires not just
awareness of the places we can go to or the things
we can do, but an awareness of ourselves and what
we need to bring balance into our lives.

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 A Mindful intention

W hy T ravel ?
◆

We travel for many reasons.We may want a break from our daily
surroundings and routine, a chance to get some perspective on life,
or simply to relax and gain some well-needed rest.We may yearn for
adventure and activities that thrill us, want to connect with nature
or spend time with family and friends. There may be the desire to
follow interests – perhaps in yoga, food, languages or art.Whatever
the reason, travelling helps us to gain perspective on our own life,
discovering more about what is important to us.

T he reality is that travelling is not always fun. It

can be stressful, scary, tiring and expensive. Let’s not
pretend that long hours of travel, often at times we would
usually choose to be sleeping, is fun. We are more likely to get
lost, get ill, have our wallet stolen and experience huge dis-
ruptions in our plans, than if we stayed at home.
Yet, in spite of all the things that could go wrong, and the
likelihood that something will, the urge to explore the world
burns inside us. Our desire to experience the new and excit-
ing never wanes. The smiles of strangers, smells of unusual
◆

‘We travel not to escape life,

but for life not to escape us.’
Anonymous

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 A Mindful intention

Tapping into Why You Want to Travel

If you have this book in your hand, you likely know what it is
to have the desire to travel. I want to travel because I am
fascinated by the world around me. Travelling gives me the
chance to see, taste, smell and experience things I have never
experienced before. It connects me with the joy of being
alive, with infinite possibilities and with the wonder of being
human with all our different ways to be. There are some
places that I resonate with more than others, that nourish and
refresh me, and will visit time and time again.
When I explore the world, I am reminded of the
connection I have with all humans, and not just the ones that
I see on a daily basis. I know that we are all in essence the
same, and this brings me joy.There is no substitute for actually
being in the far-off places that I may have seen on television or
a computer screen, and meeting or witnessing the people
who live there. I maintain a connection with these people and
places throughout my life.
Take a moment to connect with why travelling excites
you. Some of your reasons may be similar to mine, or you
might have your own to add. It is important to tap into this
excitement, because we attract what we focus on. I think that
is why, regardless of how much money I have or don’t have, I
have always attracted travelling into my life.

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 A Mindful intention

foods, sunsets over oceans make our lives all the richer. We
are innately curious and seek to find connection with all that
is, be it with nature, with loved ones or with ourselves. We
carry memories with us that we can reflect on for years to
come.You may not remember what you did on your birthday
over the years, but it is likely you remember times spent
travelling and events that delighted or challenged you. Above
all, travel makes us feel alive, in a way that no amount of con-
suming or doing can, but through us becoming and being
more who we truly are.

B ringing B alance to O ur L ives

◆

With travel options abounding, the simple question of where to go

can be overwhelming.We need to ask ourselves what it is we want to
get out of our trip, and no review, website or magazine can tell us
this.What excites one person will horrify another. A worthy answer
requires awareness not just of the potential places we could visit, but
of ourselves and how we are looking to enhance our life.

M aking a journey may be about getting from A to B,

on a physical level, but it is also taking us somewhere
we feel we want to be on an emotional, mental or spiritual
level. We travel to bring balance to our lives, so that we come
home feeling refreshed, renewed and perchance transformed.
We may sense a lack of fun and lightness in our lives and seek

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 A Mindful intention

vibrant cities and evenings eating al fresco or listening to live

music. We may feel overtired and need a relaxing break with
very little on the agenda. We may feel a bit stagnant and bored
and simply need a change, or we may choose to go on a yoga
or meditation retreat to enhance our wellbeing. Some people
yearn for a sandy beach where they can while away their day
basking in the sun whilst engrossed in a book. Others want to
stride into the countryside, feeling the breeze on their face.
Getting clear about what we want to gain from our journey
will point us to the types of places we could go to.

Setting an Intention
The first step in being mindful about travelling is setting out
what our intention to travel is. This will in turn guide us to
follow what it is we want to experience whilst we are away,
and to be more conscious of that as we set off. If plans go
wrong or times get tough, our intention is something we can
fall back on; it will remind us why we are where we are in the
first place. Without intention, travel can become aimless.
With intention we are giving our subconscious mind a clear
purpose and will find our attention focused towards things
that align with this purpose. For example, setting an intention
to get inspiration in our life can draw us to places that we may
never have otherwise considered, while setting an intention
for relaxation will support us in placing a priority on this and
perhaps not get carried away in filling our day with plans.

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 A Mindful intention

Before setting off on a journey, write down your intentions.

Why are you travelling? What do you want to gain from your
experience? How do you want it to help you when you come
back home? You may have one or more of the following inten-
tions for your next trip.

Rest & Relaxation

With so many distractions and demands on our attention, it
can be hard to relax when we are at home or work. Even
when we have time off work, there is always something to do,
from washing up to picking the kids up from school, to
making dinner and paying the bills. The list can seem endless.
When we are busy it can seem crazy to take time out, but
allowing time to rest is essential for our mental health and our
creativity. Resting helps us gain perspective on our lives and
opens us up to curiosity and new ideas.
Tuning in to what type of rest you need will help you
decide what kind of time away is best for you. Even a day away
can give us the space we may have been craving to do nothing
and just be. A longer time will allow more chance to open up
to the new space created and to contemplate what you may
like to bring into your life, or what you need to let go of. It
can be the opportunity to begin or go deeper into a medita-
tion practice, letting stillness be the basis from which
inspiration comes. Perhaps it’s the chance to put email on
auto-reply for a few days and let go of work demands.

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 A Mindful intention

If the intention is for rest, then the places you choose to go

and the mode of transport you use will be important. I love
the vision of setting up a tent in a quiet place in nature, but I
find it hard to sleep in a tent as soon as the sun comes up, and
often underestimate the work that needs to be put into get-
ting the gear together and setting up. Simplicity is often key
to a restful break.

MINDFULNESS EXERCISE

setting your intention to travel


Take a moment to connect with what you want to gain from travel-
ling. Sit somewhere comfortable, where you won’t be disturbed,
with a notepad and pen.
• Focus on your breath for a minute or so to quieten the mind.
• When you feel a sense of calm, ask yourself, ‘What is it that I most
yearn for in my life right now?’ See what comes and note this down.
Perhaps it is more connection, adventure, space, perspective, peace
or joy. Try not to think too much about questions such as ‘how’ this
might happen.
• Imagine a place where you could be or an activity you could be
doing that brings you what you are yearning for. Are you alone or
with others? What are you doing? What do the surroundings look
like? Imagine yourself there.
• Whether or not the place and activities you have imagined are
realistic travel ideas, you have given yourself the opportunity to
open up to what you need from travelling, and life.

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 A Mindful intention

Adventure
Exhilarating experiences can allow us to feel the thrill of
being alive, embracing risk, uncertainty and the unknown.
The excitement of a ski slope, a day trekking in mountains or
a scuba dive can be an antidote to the humdrum of life. As we
push our limits, whether climbing a mountain or jumping off
a cliff into the sea, we conquer our fears, leaving us feeling
more powerful to face anything in life. Adventure doesn’t
have to mean activities that require expensive equipment or
time spent learning a new skill, it just requires a bit of creativ-
ity and a daring attitude. Perhaps your adventure might be
catching a bus without knowing where it is going, or explor-
ing a city without a map. As we take risks, we are reminded
that life begins at the end of our comfort zones.
Contemplate what activities you would love to try, even if
you may be a bit scared to do them. Ask yourself how you
embrace adventure in your life, and whether there are any
places you are playing it safe and avoiding what you may have
been yearning to do for a while.

‘The purpose of life is to live it, to taste

experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and
without fear for newer and richer experience.’
From ‘You Learn by Living’
Eleanor Roosevelt

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 A Mindful intention

Following Our Interests

Venturing anywhere is an opportunity to follow what inter-
ests and inspires us. This might be the love of food and joy of
tasting new flavours and textures that we can incorporate in
our cooking back home. Or the wonderful architecture of
Istanbul or Barcelona, which reminds us that we can create
anything if we set our minds to it. Or perhaps the trendy
neighbourhoods and hip art galleries of New York or Berlin
that give us inspiration for our wardrobes and social life.
Maybe you thrive on learning new languages or walking in
nature. Take time to get in touch with whatever is calling on
your sense of curiosity.

Wellbeing
Whether you are wanting physical, mental or spiritual healing
or growth, there are ever more experiences that claim to
offer you what you need, perhaps a meditation retreat, detox
programme or coaching week. Really tune into whether what
is offered feels right for you. I began my yoga practice after a
yoga holiday in Ibiza. The chance to practise yoga twice a day
for a week locked the routine into my memory and I was able
to continue my practice on my own at home afterwards.
Organized retreat prices can be prohibitive, and may not
be your only option. You can set the intention for your time
away to be a chance to break routine – to be away from the
people who you normally socialize with, to walk in the

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 A Mindful intention

countryside or start a positive habit of meditation or enquiry

– without the need for it to be organized by someone else.

Gaining Perspective
There are times in our lives when we simply feel the need to
get away to gain perspective. It’s hard for us to do this at
home; sometimes we can’t see the wood for the trees. Travel
takes us away from our own problems and in doing so enables
us to gain perspective on our lives. I value taking myself to a
different environment when I feel stuck or overwhelmed.
Even if it is just a walk in the countryside, the shift in focus by
placing my attention on the nature around me, be it the
colours of the sky or shapes of the landscape, helps me to
realize that there is more to life than I am currently thinking.
Nature, in particular, is a great antidote for stress. As we
watch the horizon, or stand on top of a hill gazing at the valley
below, our worries and problems become less important in
the face of the immensity of the world around us.

Gaining Inspiration
Wherever you may want inspiration, be it in your work, your
relationships or the direction of your life, taking time to get
away can open you up to new ways of being and doing that
you might otherwise never have considered.
I am constantly inspired when I travel, in my cooking, my
art, my work and how I relate to others. The variety of cuisines

40
 A Mindful intention

I have been exposed to has influenced my own cooking style,

in the different flavour combinations, herbs and spices that I
use. I am fascinated by jewellery, and my travels give me the
opportunity to visit markets and art galleries that showcase
beautifully designed necklaces, earrings and bangles, which
inspire me in my making. As I walk or sit in nature, wherever
it may be, I am often inspired. It might be sitting by the sea
and watching the movement of the water and the waves. I
then introduce this into how I work with clay and the shapes
and patterns I use as I glaze. As I observe living things, I am
reminded how they are completely present, whether it be
seagulls riding gusts of wind, simultaneously letting go and in
control, or an oak tree as it stands steadfast in the earth.
Watching local people interact in cultures different to my
own, I am often moved by how affectionate and tactile they
can be in contrast to the interactions I am used to.This inspires
me to feel warmer and more demonstrative in my affection
towards the people I love.

How Long to Go For?

Travel doesn’t have to mean embarking on an epic adventure
across many continents for months on end. Even a day away,
walking in the countryside or visiting an unfamiliar nearby
city, can bring us a well-needed break. Deciding on how long
to go for will depend on what you can afford and your com-
mitments in life. Only a week or a weekend may be possible.

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 A Mindful intention

With a mindful intention, what we gain from our journey is

more about the quality than the length of your trip. Wherever
we go or for however long, we have the chance to reconnect
with ourselves and others and gain perspective on life.

R etreats & P ilgrimages

◆

Retreats and pilgrimages have an intentional focus on spiritual,

physical, mental or emotional wellbeing. A retreat is a time when we
draw back from our habitual lives to spend time doing what we feel
we need most. A pilgrimage is a conscious journey towards the sacred
in ourselves represented by a journey to a sacred place.

Retreats
Going on retreat is the perfect opportunity to unplug from
the pressures of everyday life, and to reconnect with your
inner self. It is the chance to do something for yourself for a
change, to surrender your time to doing something you love,
to deepen your spirituality, or to learn new skills in a sup-
portive and dedicated environment. With the rise of modern
technology, information overload and busy lifestyles, a retreat
can rejuvenate you like nothing else, so it is not surprising
that retreats are surging in popularity.
Nowadays, choosing a retreat can be a bit like going to a
supermarket. There is so much on offer, and the choice can
feel overwhelming. Price ranges vary hugely and it is not

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always clear what the differences are, and which retreat would
be the best for you. As a former retreat junkie, I’ve tried
many of them, and I would recommend choosing somewhere
that will challenge you and push your levels of comfort, but
also feels compassionate and loving.We need to be very gentle
with ourselves, or the experience can be so overwhelming
that we refuse to go back. We can be so harsh with ourselves
even in the field of self-development – with the need to prog-
ress, achieve and develop – that we can forget that this has to
sit on a foundation of self-love, patience and compassion.
Remember that much of the real work of a retreat is in
integrating what we have learnt into our lives. The week of
healthy eating, positive affirmations and daily exercise can
easily be forgotten within a few days of re-entering our lives.
We need to make sure we have the intention and support in
place to continue it. Maybe join a local walking group or yoga
classes, get a mentor or life coach, if you can afford it, or team
up with others on your retreat as buddies.

Pilgrimages
A pilgrimage is a sacred journey. It entails living and travelling
very simply, and going towards that which is sacred, symbol-
ized by a holy place such as Santiago de Compostela in Spain
or one of the many temples in India. People go on pilgrimages
for many reasons, but generally to focus on the opportunity
of having a transformational experience. Often, people go on

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The Shock of Silence

My first retreat, a silent meditation retreat, threw me in at the
deep end. At the time, I was new to meditation and being plunged
into days of silence was a shock. We weren’t allowed to read or
write, let alone use our mobile phones, and eye contact was
discouraged. This made me vulnerable and unsteady. I escaped
with my mobile phone, desperate to talk to a friend and tell them
what I was going through. But there was no mobile reception. I
plotted my escape. And then I realized I couldn’t even call a taxi.
I felt trapped and desperate. Each minute seemed an eternity.
I had only been there for 24 hours, but it felt like it would never
end. I attended another meditation but was unable to be with
what was rising up inside me. I had no choice but to knock on the
door of the retreat leader, feeling like a homesick child who
desperately wanted to go home to my parents, even though I was
27. How she responded was such a relief. I had expected, in what
seemed like a harsh environment, to be criticized or told to put
up with it, but to my surprise she was compassionate and
understood what I was feeling. She put me at ease that nothing
was wrong with me for feeling this way, and that it was completely
normal as I was new to meditation. She suggested I go to the
library and read. What a relief. To be able to read. To avert my
attention from my feelings to something else.

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 A Mindful intention

Meditation pushes our comfort zones. When we meditate, we

allow our feelings to arise and these can be feelings that we have
suppressed. Like bubbles rising in a glass of lemonade, the longer
we sit, the more feelings bubble up. My experience at the silent
meditation retreat had generated so much pressure that I could
not contain myself, but finding compassion and love gave me an
opening and release.
As we go about our lives it is easy to become unconsciously
addicted to things that help us to escape from unwanted feelings,
maybe our smartphones, alcohol, sugar or being busy. When
some of these things are taken away from us, as often happens on
a retreat, it is quite normal to experience withdrawal symptoms.
Emotions can flood in that overwhelm us, and we may decide that
we don’t want to be here after all. Whilst our intention for going
on retreat might have been to get healthier, to connect more
deeply with ourselves or to be more confident, it is challenging to
do, or feel, what is needed to get us there. This is why courage is
needed and why it is important to choose a retreat that is able to
hold us through our discomfort, with leaders who act with
compassion, and to know that whatever feeling is coming up for
us is an essential aspect of our coming into wholeness, not just on
retreat but in our life.

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 A Mindful intention

pilgrimage when they are at a crossroads in their lives, when

undergoing a change in their life’s direction or relationships.
Others may be in search of deeper spirituality, healing and
forgiveness. A pilgrimage is also a great adventure, with the
chance to meet new people and see new places.
The pilgrimages that I have experienced have been walking
ones, namely the Camino de Santiago in Spain and the
Kumano Kodo in Japan. Exactly what makes pilgrimages so
impactful is hard to define. Partly it has to do with being away
from the array of little details that complicate normal daily
existence. There is great freedom in letting go of the need to
control what we are going to be doing in the day. Walking a
pilgrimage, if anything, is about staying in the present,
putting one foot in front of the other and letting go of the
destination. The thrill of the open road is that it is open, and
each day’s destination is not predetermined. Life becomes
very simple. A walking pilgrimage gives space to think, space
to talk with others and space to be, without the pressure of
time or agenda.
As I walked the Camino de Santiago one of the things I
simultaneously loved and was anxious about was not knowing
where I was going to be staying that night. I might have had
my mind set on a hostel, but it could be full, or I might decide
to walk for longer or less. Waking up one morning and not
knowing how long I was going to walk for or where I was
going to be staying that night was exhilaratingly freeing.

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 A Mindful intention

No doubt it is slightly different for everyone, but walking

for long lengths of time, day in day out, shifts something in us;
perhaps it is our levels of patience, perseverance, tolerance
and acceptance, or perhaps it comes from being grateful for
simple things, such as dry clothes or a bed to sleep in, or from
resisting our addictions to busyness and technology.

M odes of T ransport
◆

The decision of what mode of transport to use will depend on many

things: your preference, how fit you are and how much comfort you
need, what is available, practical and affordable, and your concerns
about the environment. Each mode of transport has its advantages
and disadvantages, and you may well find yourself combining a
number of different modes on your trip.

Train Travel
There is something uniquely pleasurable about travelling by
train, something innately relaxing about a journey that
requires no more of us than looking out of the window at
landscapes unfurling before our eyes. It is a journey that takes
us off roads, through wide open plains, rolling hills or moun-
tain tunnels, far away from airport queues and traffic jams.
No other way of travelling makes it easier to enjoy the jour-
ney and let go of the destination, reminding us that this is
really what life is about. Whether it’s a meander through local

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countryside, a commuter train trundling through the out-

skirts of a foreign city or a far-flung trip on the Trans-Siberian,
railway travel allows us a unique perspective on the world.
Travelling long distances by train, perhaps from London to
Rome or Mumbai to Delhi, instead of catching a plane, is
more about slowing down than accelerating. For many, the
environmental advantages of train travel are a compelling
reason to avoid flying and renting a car. Train travel may also
be cheaper and more flexible – departing more frequently
and from more city centres and smaller towns than is possible
with air travel. Even if you don’t have the budget for the
Orient Express, or the time for the Trans-Siberian Railway,
train travel is accessible to most of us if we consider it as an
option. Many rail services around the world offer advanced
rates that are considerably cheaper than if you bought the
ticket on the day.
Whether you are travelling on a busy commuter train or a
more leisurely long-distance train, train travel gives you time
to appreciate the goings on of local life – on and off the train
– and gives you more opportunities to learn about local
architecture, culture and life than a plane or car journey ever
could. As you sit, with nothing to do but look out of the
window or chat to friends, leaving the past behind and with
no urgency to arrive anywhere, you may gradually find your-
self letting go of all that has gone and is to come, time
dissolving into the present moment.

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 A Mindful intention

‘We have become human doings rather

than human beings. Slow down so you can go further
than you can imagine.’
From ‘No Destination’
Satish Kumar

Walking
I once was a tour guide for a walking-tour company which has
the strapline, ‘The best way to see a country is on foot’. I have
to agree with them. The best things in life are often the sim-
plest – like putting one foot in front of the other.Yes, it is slow
and that is the point, for as we slow down we create more
space. Space to be, space to ponder, space to follow our curi-
osity, space to be late or early, space to get lost. Space to feel
the ground below us and the elements on our skin. Best of all,
walking is free, and the first step can be from your doorstep,
wherever that may be.
In walking we connect with natural landscapes and the
people and culture embedded within it. It’s a very different
experience to travelling by car, bus or train. And, of course,
when we walk significant distances we become very aware of
our body, both its pain and its strength, which is a very
visceral experience. We feel our heart pumping, our breath
quickening and the ground pushing against our feet. In the
physicality and slowness of walking we take our attention

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away from our internal thoughts and out into the world
around us, helping us feel a part of where we are. We become
more aware of the light, the weather, the seasons, the sounds
and smells that surround us, the shapes and colours of the
landscape and architecture, and the people we pass, and in
doing so we clear the clutter in our minds and gain a fresh
perspective on our lives.
Walking is a great metaphor for life, in the need to take
one step at a time, focusing on what is immediately in front of
us, and letting go of the destination. Both are just as much a
mind game as a physical pursuit. Often when I am out on a
long walk or hike, my legs can begin to tire, and as I imagine
the distance ahead of me or the height of the mountain above
me, my enthusiasm wanes. Determined not to give up, I set
myself waymarks that are more achievable, perhaps a rock
that is a minute’s walk away, or a tree in the distance. I tell
myself that I can stop when I get there, but more often than
not, once I reach the waymark I choose to go on. Climbing a
hill is a great endeavour, and like any endeavour it fills us with
a sense of achievement. We have conquered our fears and
doubts to reach our goal.
Breaking down any pursuit into small chunks makes it
more believable and hence more achievable. I was very
excited at the prospect of writing this book, but when it came
down to actually starting I felt overwhelmed and began to
doubt my ability to write at all. When I told myself that I just

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had to produce one hundred words and that was it, I began to
write, and once I had reached one hundred words I invariably
had more to say.
Most things that are worthwhile doing in life – building a
career, raising children, learning how to be in relationship
with others – take time. It can seem very daunting to start
something new – perhaps a new business, career or creative
venture. By taking one step at a time, we realize that even the
most daunting tasks are manageable and enjoyable. It is all
about the journey, the steps we take along the way.

Flying
Flying is the easiest way to travel long distances. It is under-
standable to want quick fixes in life, and modern technology
has enabled us to do this in many ways, especially when
getting from A to B. It is wonderful that we can fly around the
world to experience the variety of human existence; however,
as with many quick fixes there is a cost. I choose to fly because
it is the only practical way for me to be able to travel to far-off
destinations, but I am aware of the environmental implica-
tions of flying. A mindful decision of whether or not to fly is
one that is based on compassion for ourselves and our planet,
and made with as much awareness as is possible about the
effects of our actions, both positive and negative. There are no
wrong or right answers; it is a personal decision that should
ideally be made with compassion rather than with guilt.

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If you are concerned about the environmental impact of

flying, you could, where possible, choose alternative means of
transport, such as train, long-distance coach or ferry, which
often allow you to have a richer experience of the countries
they pass through. If your destination requires you to fly,
there are many ways you can minimize your carbon footprint.
For example, you may feel drawn to give money to carbon-
offset schemes that invest in environmental causes such as
reforestation or conservation to counterbalance the impact of
flying, or you could choose to travel economy or fly direct in
order to minimize the resources that you use.
Flying can be somewhat traumatic to our bodies, as we
move at an uncustomary speed and at high altitude. When we
arrive in a place that is thousands of miles from where we
started within a few hours, we can feel disorientated and jet-
lagged on arrival. I find that as I age, it can take a few days to
feel back in rhythm with the Earth.

W ho to T ravel W ith ?
◆

In my travels, some of the most enriching moments would have been

mediocre had I experienced them alone.Travelling with others is very
much about the shared adventure. At heart, shared travel is about
forming deeper connections with the loved ones in our lives. Whilst
more challenging, travelling solo allows us to see the world at our
own pace and can give us an unparalleled sense of achievement.

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Family Holidays
Bringing the family together for a holiday may bring lots of
excitement, but the prospect of spending an extended period
of time together can also be daunting, particularly when there
are many different interests. There may be teenagers who are
keen to escape to their rooms with their smartphones,
siblings who perpetually argue or in-laws with very different
perspectives on life. Yet time away can also do wonders for
relationships, even tricky ones. When we take time simply to
be present with one another and do things out of the ordinary,
we can soften and open to one another.
Children love the extra attention that they get from their
family in the absence of the chores and routine of being at
home. As adults, we begin to lighten up and take ourselves
less seriously. Family members get to laugh at each other
trying out a new language or splashing each other with water.
Joint activities such as games, crafting or sport can bring
lightness and fun, reminding us of the joy of being together.
Travel can also be a rare opportunity to switch off devices and
interact more fully.
Shared experiences of the exciting, unfamiliar, beautiful or
even dangerous can bring people together. We realize we have
more in common than we think – in getting lost in a bustling
city centre where all the alleyways look the same, in marvel-
ling at the sighting of an owl or in navigating a tricky mountain
slope on skis. These are not events that we would necessarily

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Through the Eyes of a Child

One of the things I love about travelling with my daughter is
seeing the world like a child, with curiosity and openness –
enchanted by spotting lizards, building sandcastles or
splashing in water. Children can often be more interested in
the simple and more immediate delights of travelling than in
the big sights that a detailed itinerary could provide.
Sometimes we feel that we should be interested in
stereotypical attractions while we are away, such as museums
and monuments. As a child I remember being dragged around
many a museum by eager relatives, and being more interested
in what we had packed for lunch and when we were having
snacks than the exhibits. As a parent I choose not to take my
daughter to such places, unless she expresses an interest in
them, preferring to enjoy activities that will tap into her
natural interest and curiosity, such as trying a new language
or spotting wild animals. By taking away the pressure to
‘sightsee’ and instead deciding to simply ‘be’ with your child,
you too may benefit from ‘being’ rather than ‘doing’.

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plan; it is only in hindsight that we realize how they brought

us together and helped us to get over our habitual and some-
times closed ways of being with each other.

Travelling Solo
The most frequent excuse for not travelling is ‘but I don’t
have anyone to go with’. Going into the unknown is scary, and
even more so when you are on your own. We worry about
who we will talk to, about eating out by ourselves and facing
our fears alone. Many of us are not used to our own company,
and solo travel will give us plenty of that.
Much as I have resisted it, solo travel has given me some of
my most life-enhancing experiences. Not only have I learnt to
enjoy my own company – perhaps one of the greatest lessons
in itself – but solo travel has also forced me to dig deep inside
my inner resources to find strengths I never knew existed. An
introvert by nature, it is tough for me to talk to people I do
not know. With a travelling companion I don’t have to take
the risk, but on my own I have initiated conversations with
strangers and made heart-warming connections.
I once was sent to work in Italy, with no knowledge of the
language, and my car broke down. Entering a local café I had
to explain in gestures and miming what had happened, to the
amusement of the waitresses. They were quickly on the phone
to an uncle who was a car mechanic. I was touched by how
eager everyone was to help. I don’t think this would have

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happened had I not been on my own, and it gave me great

confidence to know that wherever I am, whether I speak the
language or not, I can sort out problems myself or find help if
I need it. It also instilled my trust in humanity. I have learnt,
mainly by travelling solo, that people wherever I go are gen-
erally kind and happy to help.
Travelling solo means that we set our own agenda without
worrying about what anyone else wants to be doing. We are
often so used to pleasing others that we forget what it is we
really want. If you feel the
When we prioritize urge to set off on a solo adven-
our own desires and ture, perhaps begin with
follow our own impulses setting out your intentions;
as we travel then we what you want to gain from
become more able to do the experience and the type of
things that you like to do. This
this in our wider lives may well fire your will to set
off! When we prioritize our own desires and follow our own
impulses as we travel then we become more able to do this in
our wider lives. Of course, as a solo traveller, you need to do
what is necessary to keep safe and follow your intuition, per-
haps more so than if you are in company, but the chance to
spend time with yourself and follow what makes you happy is
a gift. Setting off on your own doesn’t have to mean embark-
ing on an epic journey for months on end; it could start as a
day out, which may even lead to a weekend away.

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Travelling with a Companion

By far the easiest way to travel is to go with someone else,
perhaps a loved one or a friend, although it is also increasingly
easy to find travel companions on websites. Relationships are
enhanced through shared experiences. It is generally more
fun to get lost with another person than on our own, and
when we are in cultures quite different from our own it is
reassuring to have someone with us who not only speaks the
same language as us but understands the challenges.
However, not everyone is a compatible travel companion
and spending every minute on a trip with someone, even the
best of friends, can be intense. Travelling is an excellent way
to learn about our own needs with regards to having time
alone and time with others, and it also teaches us how to set
boundaries accordingly. A travelling companion can become a
pest if it is not communicated how much independence each
person prefers, or what each one likes to do.
It’s easy when we are travelling with others to end up
chatting with them rather than appreciating what is around us
or attempting to talk to a stranger. You may find it helpful to
agree in advance that you will take time to follow your own
interests and curiosity and also to have solitary moments to
sit in peace and be present.

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 Chapter three

A Journey
to O urselves
Perhaps more importantly than taking us on a
journey into the external world, travelling offers the
potential to go on an exciting journey into ourselves.
As we shed our identities, conditioning and daily
routines, we learn that there are infinite ways to be,
and we begin to draw on our inner resolve and follow
our untamed spirit, discovering who we really are.We
respond to an invitation for personal transformation.
Our life becomes a hero’s journey as we follow the path
of inner freedom to find our true place and
contribution in the world.

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F inding W ho W e R eally A re
◆

Far away from home, many of us begin to feel a sense of freedom.

Challenges may abound, but moving past our comfort zone, learning
to rely on our inner resolve, is all part of the process.

W hen I was in my late 20s I gave up my career as a

management consultant, leaving behind my comfort-
able but stress-filled life in London to volunteer for an
environmental charity in Costa Rica. I spoke fluent Spanish
and was well travelled, but nothing prepared me for this new
world. After a flight change in San Jose, now on an eight-
seater plane, with vast rainforest spreading below me, we
approached my destination. A clearing became visible, with a
thin landing strip and a wooden shelter that made up the air-
port of Golfito. In the midst of unfamiliarity, a wave of
nervousness swept through my body. Stepping out of the

‘And if travel is like love, it is, in the end, mostly

because it’s a heightened state of awareness, in which
we are mindful, receptive, undimmed by familiarity and
ready to be transformed. That is why the best trips, like
the best love affairs, never really end.’
From ‘Why we travel’
Pico Iyer

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plane, the humidity and jungle sounds hit me – squawking

birds and hooting monkeys. A luminescent turquoise Morpho
butterfly, the size of my two hands, fluttered by me and a pair
of brightly coloured scarlet macaws flew overhead. For a
moment my breath was taken away, but, immersed in the
unknown, I was desperate to jump back on the plane.
The following week all I could think of was how to get
home. My resistance to being where I was, and my longing for
home, meant I hated so many things: the biting insects, giant
moths that clung to the bathroom door, tiring humidity and a
seeming slowness to get anything done. I looked for some-
thing or someone familiar to latch onto – maybe a familiar
television programme, or someone who knew life as I knew
it, but most people hadn’t even heard of England, let alone
been there.
However, somewhere in my being, beneath the discomfort,
I knew that I was lucky to be where I was, and my homesick-
ness could not help but be punctuated by moments of awe and
amazement. Slowly, my connection with the family I stayed
with and the people I met grew deeper. As part of my work,
which involved giving marketing advice to environmentally
friendly income-generation enterprises, I was taken on horse-
back through the forest to visit beekeeping projects within
indigenous communities, and I travelled by boat to see remote
farming communities, with dolphins leaping either side. I
began to be delighted by my experience and my resistance

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‘When I let go of who I am, I become who I might be.’

From ‘Tao Te Ching’
Lao Tzu, 6th century bce

waned. Like a tight bud gently beginning to open, I let the

place and people in. I came to love where I was, appreciating
the immensity of nature around me and the connection with
the land and its people, and I began to feel the strength and
freedom of who I was beyond where I had come from. I learnt
far more than I could ever have taught, about community,
respect for the forest and the joys of a simpler, slower life.

Gaining Perspective
We may be very happy with how we live our life and who we
are. However, it is quite usual for there to be times when we
feel tired, bored or frustrated, or longer periods of feeling
unhappy or depressed, and we may or may not know why.
Taking time out of our daily lives is an opportunity to gain
perspective and ask ourselves why are we really doing the
things we do: is it out of unconscious beliefs, such as not
feeling good enough and hence continuously needing to prove
our worth, or a conscious decision to follow that which we
are passionate about?
Travel shakes up where we are, in the letting go of our
daily routines, our material belongings and our relationships.

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In stripping away what we identify with, we also strip away

that which we are not and open up to who we really are,
beyond the trappings of the ego.

T he H ero ’ s J ourney
◆

As humans we seek and want to experience emotional connection,

and we often do this through stories. Great stories allow us to con-
nect vicariously with the emotions and struggle of being human.
We admire characters more for their journey to success than for the
success itself. We want to be shown the strength of the human spirit
to achieve anything we set our hearts to, because ultimately that is
what we want in our own lives.

T he princess born with a silver spoon in her mouth

who grows to be a queen is of little interest. We want
the Harry Potters, Luke Skywalkers, Erin Brockovichs – who
have battled against the odds and risen up from despair. We
want to know that it is possible to overcome the challenges
we may feel in our own lives to reach the goals and dreams
that we yearn for. We admire the lives of trailblazers, risk-
takers and disrupters of the status quo. Characters that are
sensible or conforming are only of interest if they are ridiculed
in comedies. We want our perceptions of reality to be
challenged, so that in turn we can challenge the rules that
we have conformed to. The best stories have mystery and

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unpredictability; we soon get bored if we think we know what

will happen. We want the unexpected hero because it taps into
the potential each one of us has to be the hero of our own lives.

Our Own Hero’s Journey

To live a life that is fulfilling, exciting and adventurous, like
the lives of our heroes, we need to be prepared to step onto
our own journey of self-discovery. I believe that ultimately
this is the reason why we travel. We want to feel fully alive.
Joseph Campbell, the American mythologist and author,
coined the term ‘the hero’s journey’, referring to the journey
we take in life to realize who we truly are. We are all heroes
in our own life story. What we have to do in order to realize
our potential is leave the comfort of our known lives, learn
new ways of being, face our fears and build trust and resil-
ience within ourselves.

‘The great mission of our day is not conquering

the sea or space, disease or tyranny. The grand quest,
which calls to the hero in every one of us, is to become
fully alive – to stand up and claim our birthright,
which is inner freedom, love and radiant purpose.
By fulfilling this we transform the world.’
From ‘Blessed Are the Weird – A Manifesto for Creatives’
Jacob Nordby

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MINDFULNESS EXERCISE

what is your hero’s journey?


Tapping into what makes us excited about life, our secret dreams and
ambitions, and then owning up to and questioning our fears about these –
however stupid they may seem – is the first step in overcoming self-doubt
and beginning our hero’s journey.
• Take a moment to be still, focusing on your breath. Know that you are OK
just as you are, right now. If this feels hard, simply allowing the possibility for
this to be true is enough.
•  Bring to mind anything that scares you but which you would secretly love
to do. Perhaps it is public speaking, or a new career, or to take yourself off
travelling alone for a few months. Write down whatever it is and – leaving
your fears aside – why you are drawn to do this. What difference would it
make to your life? How would you like to feel when you are doing this?
• Now get in touch with what scares you about doing this thing, and write
it down. The first thoughts that come to mind, before you start to censor
yourself, are usually the most useful. It may be, ‘I don’t want to look stupid’
or ‘Nobody would be interested in me’ or ‘I don’t know where the money
would come from’.
• For every fear, think of a reason why this may not be true. For example, ‘I
don’t know where the money would come from’ could open up to ‘I could
cut down on some expenses’ or ‘I could work as I travel’, and ‘I don’t want
to look stupid (if I spoke in public)’ could become ‘My friends find me inter-
esting because. . .’. When we question our fearful beliefs we loosen the hold
they have over us.

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Whilst for many storybook heroes this means leaving

home, we do not have to leave our physical homes to leave the
known. The true journey of self-discovery happens within.
However, physically separating ourselves from our known
surroundings is sometimes the only way we can begin to leave
the comfort of the thoughts and beliefs that create our cur-
rent life. As we travel the world, and open to the new and
unknown, we experience aspects of the hero’s journey that
take us to secret destinations within our inner landscape. The
desire to experience life in its unadulterated, raw, vibrant
state is why we travel, so that we can experience our own
untamed state – where we are free to follow our own unique
path in life, a path that leads us home to ourselves.

Pushing Our Comfort Zones

Life is a wonderful, frightening and unexpected journey
which we can either embrace or shrivel away from. Hand-in-
hand with the desire for mystery, the unknown and adventure,
comes fear. We are creatures of habit, resisting change and
wanting to stay in the known. Many of us have desires to be
more or do more with our lives, but we fear not being good
enough, clever enough or lovable enough. We worry about
losing the security that our jobs represent or upsetting our
loved ones.
Travelling offers us the chance to play with pushing past
our comfort zones, without leaving our homes permanently

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or letting go of all the things that help us to feel safe. By risk-

ing looking stupid when trying a new language or getting
bored by putting our mobile devices down for a day we are
taking steps on our hero’s journey. Each time we conquer our
fears we feel more confident and trusting of ourselves, and
our life can open up in unexpected ways.
Mindfulness reminds us that life is all about the journey. As
Thich Nhat Hanh said, ‘There is no way to happiness, happi-
ness is the way’. It is only in the present moment that we are
open, curious, patient and compassionate – all essential qual-
ities required to embrace our own journey to return home to
ourselves. The best journeys are rarely the easiest ones, in our
travels and in life. The best journeys are the ones that chal-
lenge us, that disrupt our comfortable lives, that make us feel
feelings we might have been avoiding – be it to face the irrita-
tion of delays, the challenge of getting lost, or the longing to
be home.The best journeys are the ones that we come through
with more wisdom than we had before. Life truly does begin
at the end of our comfort zone. In facing our fears, we over-
come them and build trust in our inner ability to face anything
that life throws at us. Whether we have chosen to face our
fears or we find ourselves unwittingly in challenging situa-
tions, we have the opportunity to draw on our inner resources
and rediscover the strength of our own spirit.
Have you ever felt the urge to do something and then
quickly talked yourself out of it? Perhaps you have had some-

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MINDFULNESS EXERCISE

do something that scares you every day


Do something small that scares you every day and you will find that
your life becomes lighter, you become more confident, and your
bigger fears in life will get smaller. Try smiling at a stranger as you
walk down the street, sharing your opinion when you’d normally
keep quiet or jumping off the diving board at the swimming pool.
Get creative with your fear and explore beyond your comfort zones.

thing you want to express in public and then felt a fear of

being ridiculed so you kept quiet. Or maybe you’ve had the
urge to write a book but seem always to put it off. It is a very
human challenge to feel a calling to do something only to be
overwhelmed by fear. However, it is only by pushing past our
comfort zones that we expand our being. What we are push-
ing past are our fears and what we are following are our soul’s
urges. When we do so, we open ourselves to becoming more
than our rational minds could ever imagine.

Taking Leaps of Faith

The more we experiment with pushing past our comfort
zones in the smaller things in life, the more we prepare our-
selves to make bigger leaps of faith, and travel is the perfect
opportunity to do this. Each person has their own limits

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within which they feel able to work and we need to take care
of ourselves as we test our limits. When we expose ourselves
to new situations and places, we can test the waters to see
where our limitations lie. When walking in the countryside,
for example, we can follow the route that we know or a
clearly signed path, or we can venture off-piste, relying on
our own map-navigating abilities, or even no map at all.
This is not to say that we need to throw ourselves into a
river if we are scared of swimming. But whilst it is important
to keep ourselves safe, many of our fears are not about physi-
cal safety, such as walking
down a dimly lit alleyway at It is only by
night or falling into a river, but pushing past our
about emotional safety. We do comfort zones that we
not want to feel the pain of expand our being
ridicule, failure or getting
things wrong, or to face up to our fears of not being good
enough, clever enough or attractive enough. We so often stick
to what we know and feel comfortable with, fearful of step-
ping into the unknown and risking being hurt.
As we venture into the new and leave our homes behind,
we also leave our metaphorical homes that represent the
known and safe. Finding ourselves in a new city we can begin
to wander down streets that catch our interest without know-
ing where they lead. We can feel the fear of going into the
unknown, but also the stimulation of following our impulses.

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Being Courageous
We do not need to feel safe and comfortable all the time. As
we become comfortable with being uncomfortable, we are
more able to put ourselves into new situations or surround-
ings. However, there are times when we can feel stuck
between really wanting to do something and just not being
able to get on with it. This may be a life decision such as start-
ing a new business, or it may be taking the decision to travel
solo, or something smaller like
Courage is not the speaking to a stranger. At these
lack of fear or anxiety times we need courage. Cour-
but the willingness to age is not the lack of fear or
anxiety but the willingness to
embrace the fear
embrace the fear. Stemming
from the Latin word cor, meaning heart, I see this as meaning
that we should choose to follow our hearts over our fears, and
this is really about the journey of being human.
Our fears can be huge and often reside in our subconscious;
we can experience them as a seemingly unsurmountable resis-
tance to moving forward. Acceptance of how we are is key to
easing the hold that fear can have on us. In allowing ourselves
to feel fear, we no longer resist it. If we are not able to ‘feel
the fear and do it anyway’ (to use the title of Susan Jeffers’
famous book), then we can try to be with the feelings. If you
really want to talk to someone but are shy, the simple act of
allowing the feelings that arise will soften the hold of fear.

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Travel is a way of overcoming fears because it exposes us to

fears all the time and usually in a very safe way. Soon the shy
person will have to speak up, or the anxious person will need
to be OK with the ever-increasing degrees of uncertainty. As
we conquer our fears bit by bit, we realize that our percep-
tion of the fear is far worse than the reality and we gain
confidence to go further. In this way, each challenge can
become an opportunity for us to break out of a fearful mind-
set. When applied to our lives, we can experience huge shifts
and find we are able to do things that we have previously
found impossible.

‘Twenty years from now you will be more

disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by
the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail
away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds
in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.’
From ‘P.S. I Love You’
H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

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Embracing
Our Experience
As we depart on our travels, it can be hard to
leave the familiarity and demands of home
behind.With compassion and patience, anxiety will
soon give way to excitement.With curiosity and an
open heart, we find that we can effortlessly let go of
old ways of being as we follow our inspiration and joy
to expand into new, lighter versions of ourselves.
Maintaining an openness to what may come and
a willingness to stay present allows us handle
any challenges that arise.

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T he T ransition from H ome to T ravelling

◆

In practice travelling can be quite an unsettling experience. Some

find leaving home or moving from one place to the next easy, whilst
many find it hard to let go of familiar surroundings and routine. No
matter how long we are away, be it a weekend or a year, when we
embark on a journey it can take a while before we can fully relax
into being away.

A few days before we travel, we are in transition

between being at home and going away, busily prepar-
ing our affairs so that we can let go of our daily routine.
Cleaning the house, clearing workloads, putting the email on
auto-reply or making sure someone is looking after our pets.
It can be a stressful, and exciting time.
For some, opening up to the unknown and potentially
losing control of our daily routine is hard, particularly if it has
been a while since we were last away. Nervousness and anxi-
ety can creep in. We may try to micromanage everything,
packing two weeks in advance, making sure we have every-
thing we could possibly need – sun creams, tissues, favourite
foods – in spite of the fact that most destinations will also sell
these things. We can become so attached to our routine that
we fear not having what holds us together. Of course, it is not
our routines that hold us together, and when we chance to let
go of them, we feel liberated from them.

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Have I Left Something Behind?

Often, after leaving home to go on a journey, I get the feeling
that I have left something behind. Sitting in a taxi cab, I have a
strange sense that something is missing and I rack my brain
for what it might be, manically checking that I have my phone,
passport and purse. Usually I
have everything I need. This is It is a very normal
a moment when I am in transi- human response to be
tion, from being at home to fearful of the unknown
leaving home. It is a point of
letting go – no more chances to make sure I have watered the
plants or put that extra bottle of water in my handbag in case
we are stranded somewhere without drink. It can take a few
days, or weeks, to fully let go of what you have left behind.
And the process of letting go can be very subtle.

Anxiety
Anxiety is very common prior to embarking on a journey. We
are leaving our comfort zone and it is a very normal human
response to be fearful of the unknown. We want to know
what to expect, what the rules are and that what we are doing
is acceptable.
I am well travelled, yet I experience anxiety before every
trip. It surfaces a few days before I leave as a sensation of but-
terflies in my tummy and a feeling of vulnerability, even a lack
of confidence. This often surprises me because I may also feel

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MINDFULNESS EXERCISE

dealing with anxiety


If you ever feel a sense of unease, or anxiety, prior to or during a trip,
ignoring it and forging on may not always be possible. The mindful response
is to be present with your emotions and allow them to have a voice. This way
you become like a parent to your sense of vulnerability, thus separating
yourself from your feelings, so they are less overpowering. This response also
gives you the opportunity to access much deeper-seated fears that could be
holding you back in life. In allowing our feelings, we free ourselves of them.
• As you sense any level of unease in your being, be it mild anxiety or terror,
begin to get a sense of where it sits in your body. It could be anywhere;
common areas are the pelvis, stomach, chest, shoulders, head or jaw.
• Become curious about this area. What does the sensation feel like? Per-
haps it is tight, wobbly, painful, sharp or pulsating? Just allow the sensations
to come and go naturally as you observe them.
• Maybe the sensations move to another part of your body, or are all over.
This can feel uncomfortable and you may want to stop feeling this way.
Remind yourself that the only way to release feelings is to allow them to
arise with awareness. They will pass.
• Now, listen to the area where the unease sits. Do any words arise? Any
images or memories? If the area could speak, what would it say? Perhaps
something like ‘I’m scared’ or ‘I want to go/stay at home’.
• Try to listen with curiosity and without judgement, as a parent might listen
to the worries of a child. Words may arise that you feel you shouldn’t say or
are stupid, or that contradict what you otherwise are really keen to be doing.
Allow them. Often all that is needed is for these fearful feelings to be
acknowledged, and then they will naturally dissipate.
• If you feel the need to, write down what comes up.

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‘Accepting means you allow yourself to feel

whatever it is you are feeling at that moment. It is part
of the isness of the Now.You can’t argue with what is.
Well, you can, but if you do, you suffer.’
From ‘A New Earth’
Eckhart Tolle

very excited about an imminent trip. It is tempting to write

this anxiety off, telling myself I am being silly and reassuring
myself there is nothing to fear. However, if I tap into this feel-
ing and begin to journal what is coming up, age-old fears rise
up, of not being good enough, not feeling safe and needing to
know the rules, and it feels very uncomfortable.
Our anxiety at being in unfamiliar surroundings may mean
we resent being where we are. However, as we own and
accept our emotions, and as we create a space for the present
moment to enter more fully into our awareness, we stop
projecting our feelings onto something or someone else.
Anxiety will often dissipate on its own when we accept that it
is a natural human response to the new. As we feel our anxiety
and are compassionate to ourselves for feeling it, we allow it
to pass and be transformed. We find that we can more fully
appreciate what is in front of us, in the moment, perhaps the
shape of a certain tree and the motion of its leaves, or the
beauty of a child’s smile.

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E mbracing the M oment

◆

Some of our most memorable travel experiences will come from let-
ting go of the idea of what the ‘perfect trip’ looks like. Rather than
planning and controlling absolutely everything to the finest detail,
if we allow ourselves some leeway to be open and present to what
comes up, and go with the flow of our experience, we may find that
travelling brings us much more than we could ever have foreseen.

From Fear of Missing Out to Joy of Missing Out

Researching and planning trips is all part of the travelling
experience. I spend many joyful and exhilarating hours find-
ing out all the potential places I could visit and all the activities
I could do in a particular destination – whether or not it is an
imminent travel plan. While guidebooks and internet sites are
wonderful resources and invaluable for planning, they also
make it easier for us to want to judge our experience over
what we have seen in pictures and in turn judge ourselves for
not doing it well enough, or for not seeing it all.
You can never do it all, even if you spent your whole life
travelling. The world is just too big and exciting. You may be
able to see the main sights of a city in a two-day break, but
you will never exhaust its charms. If we are not careful, our
trip can become an exhausting time of ticking off our ‘to do’
list. We have so many choices in life that it can be a challenge
to know which ones to take and we can end up making our

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MINDFULNESS EXERCISE

take time to have no plan


Set the intention to have a day on your holiday with no plan whatsoever,
other than to follow your curiosity. If you are travelling with others, this
could be done together.
•  Begin by going for a walk, with no plan other than to wander aimlessly in
a place you are not familiar with, giving yourself permission to follow wher-
ever you feel like going in each moment. Resist any temptation to refer to
your guidebook, map or phone.
• You will likely find your mind trying to make up a plan for the rest of the
day, or you may feel fear creeping in about getting lost. Notice whatever is
arising for you but stay with your intention: follow your curiosity.
• Allow yourself to wander as long as you want until you feel like stopping
– perhaps at a café or a park – or doing something else, maybe to go and
have a sleep or visit an interesting monument that caught your eye as you
passed it.
• Consider how often you allow this this freedom in your daily life. How
much of your life at home takes place out of a sense of ‘should’ rather than
out of a sense of joy? Allow your travels abroad to be about following your
natural inclinations. The world, after all, is not going anywhere and you can
always return to what you had planned if you really want to.

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lives too busy. And so it is when we travel, too. There are so

many potential things to do and places to visit that we can
have a great fear of missing out. Instead of seeing this as a
defeat, view it as an opportunity. It is wonderful that we have
so much choice and that we are free to choose the elements of
a trip according to the ones that excite us the most.
There may be great pressure to see famous tourist attrac-
tions, but consider whether you are really into crowds and
waiting in long queues or whether you might get more out of
taking a moment to sit with a cup of coffee at a café and watch
the world go by. I once went to Granada in Spain and never
visited the Alhambra palace, to the shock of my family and
friends. I instead spent my time visiting local music venues
and staying out till the early hours of the morning, soaking up
the buzzing atmosphere. This was much more my thing and I
felt a welcome part of the local scene.

Ditching the Guidebook

Guidebooks can be very useful references, but it is important
to remember that they are guides and not the experience
itself. I am not suggesting that we do not visit famous monu-
ments, ancient relics, revered architecture or other suggested
highlights in a guidebook. I am suggesting that we are con-
scious of why we want to visit these places. Is it because that’s
where everyone else goes, or is it because we want to feel a
connection to the place or to be inspired? Perhaps in the Taj

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Mahal in Agra, India, we can connect with the power of love

and the beauty of human achievement, or in Gaudí’s Sagrada
Família in Barcelona we will be inspired to be freer and think
bigger in our own work.
Aspiring writers and fans of Harry Potter frequently visit
Edinburgh and the café where J. K. Rowling wrote her first
novels, perhaps hoping to get inspiration and connect with
who she is. What is strange is that J. K. Rowling herself only
went to this café because it was too cold at home to work and
it was near to where she lived. What would connect us more
with her is if we began our own book, perhaps in a café round
the corner from where we live, not knowing if we will ever
be successful, but ploughing on anyway because it is what we
are passionate about.

Switching Off
The irony of our modern world is that the more we are con-
nected through technology – be it social media, emails, texts
or phone calls – the less we are connected with what is around
us right now. As great as the internet and mobile technology
are at enabling independent travel, when we travel it is good
to take time to switch off. We cannot savour the moment if
our eyes are fixed to our smartphones. People are increasingly
paying just to do this – handing in their smartphone and tablet
to the reception desk on arrival at so-called ‘black hole
resorts’. Presence and stillness has become a luxury.

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The World is Getting Smaller

Whilst it is still true that travelling the world enables us to
encounter the new and the different, many places we go to
will seem very familiar. More and more people speak English,
go to the same chain coffeeshops, listen to the same pop
songs, eat pizza and drink at Irish pubs. It can be hard to find
authentic local crafts or clothes, as shops sell the same mass-
produced products. Many popular tourist destinations such as
Venice in Italy or Santorini in Greece are being overwhelmed
by the influx of tourism; local people are becoming jaded and
there are concerns about the environmental effects. As travel
becomes more accessible to more people, these issues are set
to increase. Even getting off the beaten track is not what it
used to be, as photos of formerly unknown picturesque
streets or vistas get put on social media.
All is not lost. This is all the more reason to follow our
curiosity, letting go of the guidebook to be a little intrepid.
There are many enchanting places we can find that are barely
touched by tourism. Perhaps instead of choosing Santorini,
you could visit one of the many other less-known Greek
islands – they are all charming and unique in their own way.
Or after your visit to Kyoto in Japan, choose to hop on a train
to a remote region such as the Kii Peninsula to see ancient
shrines and eat local dishes made with wild herbs and plants.

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I once had a foreign-language student staying with me. She

was so homesick that she was in constant contact with her
friends and family through her mobile phone. On a trip to
London I tried pointing out famous sights such as Tower
Bridge, but she spent more time looking at her screen than
out of the window. The unwillingness to let go of the known
and open up to the new meant that she was not able to be
present and enjoy where she was.
When we see or watch something impressive, like a sunset,
we may want to take a photo and post it on social media, but
such experiences cannot be captured on a screen. Try putting
away your device for a while and let go of any need to connect
with anyone or anything else that is not in the here and now.

Developing New Routines that Nourish You

Time away is an ideal opportunity to adopt new routines and
allow yourself space to do what you may have been intending
to do at home, but not found the time. We are most receptive
in the mornings, and the first hour of the day is usually the
one we can influence the most. Make it a time for self-care or
self-expression. Instead of picking up your phone, allow an
hour to do what nourishes you, perhaps a walk, yoga before
breakfast, writing a journal or making a sketch. Develop a
routine of this just for the duration of your break. Notice the
affect this has on the rest of your day, and consider how you
could integrate these kinds of activities into your daily life.

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Appreciating the Small Things

No matter where we are, in every moment there is something
we can appreciate, and when we travel it is not just the stun-
ning landscapes or impressive architecture that can leave us
feeling in awe and wonder. If travel is about seeing with the
right eyes, then the eyes that can appreciate the divinity in the
smallest of things are the eyes that we want to see through. It
may be sinking our teeth into a ripe peach and savouring the
delicate sweetness, the texture of the skin on our lips and the
juice as it runs down the side of our mouth, or perhaps it
might be the blades of grass on the side of a road, in multiple
shades of green with feathered fronds that seem to dance in
the breeze.
By making the conscious choice to appreciate what is in
front of us, even if we are waiting in a long queue at the air-
port or sadly packing our bags to return home, we will find
something to be grateful for – maybe the colourful outfit of a
fellow passenger or the appreciation of the people we have
met whilst away. In our daily lives it is easy to go on autopilot

‘We wait, starving for moments of high magic

to inspire us but life is full of common enchantment
waiting for our alchemist eyes to notice.’
From ‘Blessed Are the Weird – A Manifesto for Creatives’
Jacob Nordby

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or have knee-jerk reactions to everyday hassles like traffic

jams, but even in these situations if we take a moment to be
mindful we will find something to get curious about. When
we allow these moments to pepper our day we find they add
up to make a more pleasurable life.

The World’s Greatest View

As a child, I remember travelling from England to India to
visit relatives, and I would always be eager to board the plane,
desperate for a window seat. I would sit for hours gazing out
of the window as we crossed Scandinavia and then Russia,
over sweeping snowy plains with houses dotted here and
there, vast rivers and dramatic mountain ranges. I was in awe
at our world and how seemingly small it appeared in front of
my eyes, wondering what life was like in the homes that I was
flying over, where the trucks were going and how it would
look if I were there on the ground.
Train or plane, car or boat, I always choose a window seat.
On a plane, I have marvelled at views of the snowy mountains
of Greenland, the Grand Canyon and the Swiss Alps, but
often I forget to appreciate the less dramatic pleasures of
looking out of the window while sitting on a commuter train
to London. As I lift my head from my smartphone to simply
gaze at the passing trees and fields I am reminded that exter-
nal perspective brings internal perspective, taking us out of
our heads and into our being.

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Recording & Expressing Your Experience

Time away can be a great opportunity to experiment with
our creativity, giving us the time to express the world as we
experience it, whether through writing, sketching, painting,
making videos or taking photographs. There are many ways to
record our myriad of feelings and sensations. How we see the
world is unique to us, and as we notice our inner response to
our experience we can express this in a way that is unique to
us. The key is to tap into how we naturally feel, and to use
mediums of communication that align with this.
Inspiration often strikes when I least expect it. One of the
great things about having my smartphone with me wherever I
go is that it incorporates a camera and a notebook, and I can
jot down thoughts or take photos of anything that inspires me.
(I do, however, have to be mindful of not getting drawn into
everything else my phone can do.)
It can be very compelling to take photos or videos every-
where we go, often uploading them to social media sites in an
attempt to hold on to the experience or share what is going
on with our friends. In effect what we do, when we choose to
video or photograph every experience, is to stop being pres-
ent with what is going on because our focus is lost in what we
are trying to do. We then lose the magic of the moment. Per-
haps whilst in the countryside you spot a wild deer: rather
than immediately getting your camera out, choose to stop to
appreciate the beauty in its eyes, its subtle movements and the

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shades and texture of its fur. These moments are timeless;

they speak to us in many more ways than a photo could and
are recorded in our being for years to come.
There is a difference between recording or expressing your
experience creatively, as a result of having been fully present
to it and then feeling inspired to convey this, and believing
that if our experience isn’t recorded it doesn’t count. Sure,
take a photo here and there that you can look at when you get
home, but let the memory of it be how you actually lived it.

D ealing W ith C hallenges

◆

When things are going according to plan and we are relishing our
experience it is easy to accept that all is well, but when things aren’t
going so well, it can be hard to trust in the present moment.We tell
ourselves that this should not be happening to us and that things
should be different.

W e can have a tendency to judge an experience as

being good or bad, depending on whether we believe
it to be going well or not. However, the story we tell our-
selves about a situation may be quite different to what the
ultimate reality of that situation is. There is an old Taoist story
I like that relates to this.
There was once an old farmer who had worked his farm
for many years. One day his horse ran away. Hearing the

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news, his neighbours came to visit. ‘That’s bad luck,’ they said
sympathetically. ‘We’ll see,’ the farmer replied. The next day
the horse returned, bringing with it two other wild horses.
‘How wonderful,’ the neighbours pronounced, ‘not only did
you get your horse back, but you received two more.’ ‘We’ll
see,’ replied the farmer. The following day, the farmer’s son
tried to ride one of the horses, but he was thrown and broke
his leg. The neighbours arrived to tell him how sorry they
were. ‘We’ll see,’ said the farmer. The day after, military offi-
cials came to the village to draft young men for the army.
Seeing that the son’s leg was broken, they passed him by. The
neighbours congratulated the farmer on how well things had
turned out. ‘We’ll see,’ said the farmer.

Delays
It is infuriating to seemingly waste time on missed trains,
delayed planes and traffic jams. We all desire a quick and chal-
lenge-free journey, where we get to our destination without
problems and on time. As with life, our plans do not always
work out as smoothly as we would like. I have a tendency to
take the ‘if-only’ approach, as in, ‘If only I had checked my
phone for traffic delays, I would have taken another route’.
Hindsight is wonderful, but it doesn’t really help in the midst
of a traffic jam and only serves to fuel my irritation. The real-
ity is that there are many things that happen to us in life that
we cannot change. We can only change our response.

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I recently found myself potentially missing my train on my

way to a city break. My daughter and I had missed one bus to
the train station and the next was going very slowly. I grew
increasingly irritated at the crawling bus, the traffic lights that
always turned red, the driver seemingly taunting me by chat-
ting with customers for too long. ‘Get on with it!’ I shouted
silently in my head. My frustrated thoughts went over all the

MINDFULNESS EXERCISE

finding peace when things go wrong


This exercise is one to be done when things are not going according
to plan, on a journey or in life – perhaps missing a train, the weather
disrupting your day or a friend letting you down.
• Take a moment to feel what is coming up for you, perhaps irrita-
tion, disappointment, fear or loneliness.
• Allow yourself to focus on this feeling rather than any mental
dialogue about why or who is to blame.
• Follow the feeling, letting it expand as much as you can. If you
can, feel free to make any noises or movements that go with this,
like clenching your fists or jaw, or making gruff sounds.
• Give the feeling a voice. What is it saying? Or shouting? Or
crying? Either write this down if you can, or allow it to express itself
in your head. Try to not restrict or censor yourself.
•  Notice how you feel after doing this. You may be ashamed of the
extent at which you felt this so-called negative emotion. You may
feel relief. You may feel both.

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precious time that we were missing out on at our destination,

my plans dissolving before they had started. Disappointment.
‘Surely I should be more mindful about this,’ I told myself.Yet
peace with the moment was the last thing I felt. Telling myself
to focus on my breath and come into the present moment was
even more irritating, and impossible anyway. I couldn’t let go,
or was it that I did not want to let go?
Sometimes we remain steadfast that life has to go accord-
ing to our plan, and if it doesn’t then something is wrong or
someone is to blame. It is rather a rigid standpoint. If, how-
ever, I choose to let go of the need for things to go my way, I
admit that I am not in control over what might happen and
accept that maybe there are other ways forward.
Crossing the bridge between feelings of irritation to feel-
ings of peace, is not easy. But with the willingness to let go of
how we planned things to be, we can be with what is, and in
this case it was being with my irritation and disappointment
on my bus journey. I began allowing the voice of irritation. It
became particularly irrational. ‘Why are you wasting my
time, you stupid bus driver?’ I thought. ‘I was so looking

‘We are each of us a wise guru

in charge of a mental patient.’
Jamie Catto (1968–),
Emmy-award-winning musician and spiritual teacher

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forward to my weekend away. How dare that woman not have

her bus ticket to hand and rummage around in her handbag as
everyone on the bus waits for her. This was not my plan. We
should be sitting happily on our train by now. On time.’ As I
allowed the seemingly irrational voices to express themselves,
I noticed that I was feeling calmer. There was something very
cathartic about allowing myself to be a hot-headed idiot.
As I began to calm down, I noticed part of me wanted to
hold onto my indignation and blame. But what I was doing, in
allowing my feelings to be expressed, was creating a space
between my feelings and myself as an observer of my feelings,
and in that was an opening. ‘Maybe I can start chatting to my
daughter, playing cards or looking out of the window,’ I
thought, ‘maybe the day is not ruined.’
Getting mindful when problems arise is an opportunity to
let the wise guru in us take charge whilst also accepting that
it is quite normal to have childlike and irrational outbursts.
When we can be compassionate with ourselves and know that
we have a story behind feeling as we do, we can lighten up and
allow these feelings, letting go of the need to avoid them by
trying to control all that we experience.

Keeping Calm in a Crisis

No matter how much you like to plan, there will be moments
when your plans go wrong or you are in crisis. For anxious
people this can be terrifying. When we feel stressed, under

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pressure or rushed, we cannot think straight and it can seem

like a catalogue of things go wrong, like a ripple effect.We can
lose our confidence, swayed off centre by our outer circum-
stances not going the way we want.
Realizing that we have had our wallet stolen or missed a
plane, we go into panic, frantically trying to find a solution
but catastrophizing at the same time. A usually very compe-
tent traveller can be reduced to the capacity of a five-year-old.
It can be a downward spiral as we act irrationally and allow
our emotions to rule the show, perhaps arguing with our
companions or breaking down into tears. The experience can
trigger deep wounds of feeling unsafe, insecure or lost.
In a crisis, our mind will often not want to accept the real-
ity of what has happened, and will instead concentrate on why
it should not have happened. However, arguing with reality
stops us from acting wisely. It is precisely in these moments of
desperation that we need to stop, sit and breathe. In connect-
ing to our breath we connect with a sense of calm. Perhaps say
to yourself, ‘I am here. I am OK.’

Change is Challenging
More than at any other time in our lives, we are most likely to
be thrown off balance when we are away from home. An
unsettled stomach may not just be about what we have eaten
the night before; what happens in our bodies or emotions is
also a reflection on what is going on in our being as our beliefs

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are challenged. The process can be far more exhausting than

we may like to admit. Just as a rabbit will run back to its
burrow when it feels threatened, so we too sometimes want
to go home and curl up in the safety of the known. We can
find ourselves worrying about loved ones or work that we
have left behind, unconsciously willing a reason to return.
As we give space to these uncomfortable feelings, we
become aware that it is natural to feel uncomfortable during
any process of change. In a new environment, we may gain a
fresh perspective on our relationships or work life and realize
we want things to change, or we might encounter new ways
of approaching life, perhaps with more community or nature,
that make more sense to us and so we question our previous
paradigms. As we let go some of our old ways of thinking,
being or doing, it will usually feel uncomfortable. Feelings of
anger, sadness, grief or physical discomfort may arise.We may
not understand why we are feeling as we do, or we may be
unaware of the importance of this inner work, wanting to
replace our discomfort by needing to do something.
If, however, we can just be with the feelings that arise, we
allow ourselves to accept and integrate the transformation
within ourselves. It is often only when we travel that we have
the (often unavoidable) time and space to do this. It is also
only when we travel that we feel that sense of liberation, a
taste of who we are beyond the stories and belief system we
have taken on from others. We can feel free to be ourselves.

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 Chapter five

In Awe
of the W orld
Around Us
We live in an awe-filled world, with an array
of cultures, foods, colours, cities and landscapes that
surprise and delight all our senses. As we hone in on
what it is we are uniquely attracted to, perhaps the
spicy foods, sweeping plains, colourful sunrises or the
hustle and bustle of markets, we nourish our spirits.
With our sense of the ethereal and spiritual we find
there are places that resonate deeply with our soul.
As we venture into the wilder places, we reconnect with
our inner wildness, and as we meet new cultures and
peoples we understand the unity of being human.

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A F east for A ll O ur S enses

◆

Arrival in any new place is a blast to our senses. At home we are so

familiar with the inputs to our senses that we are almost numbed to
them.When we enter a new place, the first things we notice are the
smells, sights, sounds and tastes that are uniquely distinctive.

T here can be so much going on that it can sometimes

feel overwhelming. I find it helps to bring our awareness
to one sense at a time, and tap into what you notice around
you and what attracts you, and what you prefer.

Sight
What colours do you see? What do you have a preference for?
Soft muted colours or vibrant ones? What are people wearing?
What is the scenery like? Are you attracted to the sight of
undulating green countryside, jagged mountains, barren
landscapes or the blues of the ocean? What shapes and con-
tours attract you in architecture? What do you want to see
when you look out of your window in the morning? I relish
having rooms with a view, so that I am constantly inspired by
what I see. It may cost a little more, but it is something I love
and will place this as a priority when looking for a place to
stay. Lush green countryside speaks to me of the abundance of
life, whereas looking out to sea towards the horizon gives me
the sense of infinite possibilities.

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Sound
What can you hear? Church bells? Waves as they crash against
the shore? Birds? Traffic? Silence? And what is your prefer-
ence? The hustle and bustle and beeping of a big city? The
hubbub of market stall holders? One of the things I love about
going to Muslim regions is hearing the call to prayer that
punctuates the day with the reminder of the sacred. I also try
to steer clear of sleeping anywhere near church bells that
sound hourly at night!

Taste
What is the food and drink like? What flavours do you like?
Spicy or mild? Pungent or fragrant? Bitter, sour or sweet?
Notice how your tastes change when you travel, as you adapt
to local customs and the atmosphere. I love the sweet spici-
ness of Indian chai when I’m in India but would rarely put
sugar in my tea at home. I have a cappuccino when in Italy but
am never attracted to it elsewhere.

Smell
What can you smell? Freshly baked bread? Heady spices?
Body odour? Fresh air? A melange of different scents? What
would you like to smell? Flowers? The sea? Smell is the most
evocative of the senses, and is the first sense that hits me when
I get off a plane. If I detect similar smells elsewhere it can take
me right back to the place I originally smelt them. There are

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certain smells that conjure up deep recollections of my expe-

rience of a place, person or situation. The smell of coconut oil
in hair reminds of a group of inquisitive Indian schoolgirls I
once met on a train. The scent of jasmine reminds me of my
aunties threading jasmine through my hair as a child. What
smells evoke memories in you?

Touch
We may not be going around touching everything, but our
sense of touch is often overlooked. I love the feel of grass or
mud under my bare feet, with its soft yet firm support. Sense
the difference you feel when you are outside, perhaps with
the breeze brushing against your skin, compared to how you
feel when you are inside. What is the difference between
greeting with a smile, a handshake, a hug or a kiss? Which are
you most comfortable with?

A Sense of Place
I often choose to go to the sea. As I gaze out, I notice how the
water shimmers as it reflects the sunlight and how the waves
ripple, seemingly coming ever closer but never reaching me.
I see the horizon, expansive before me and I feel a shiver
down my spine. Peace and wonder engulf me.
Our external senses can transport us to a more esoteric
sense of self and the place we are in, touching us emotionally,
mentally and spiritually. There are certain places that seem to

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touch our soul and come alive in ways that are hard to
describe. There are places where we feel an instant sense of
home, even though we may never have been there before.
They tap into our core essence, maybe helping us to feel a
sense of ease, a letting go or a desire to breathe more fully. We
might feel this sense of belonging walking in nature, sitting at
our favourite café or just being in a certain country where the
values and culture reinforce how we want to feel. I, for exam-
ple, feel an ease when I am in Spain and Greece because of the
laid-back lifestyle and conviviality.

MINDFULNESS EXERCISE

a place that is special to you


Take a moment to contemplate a place that is special to you. It may
be a landscape in the region where you live, or somewhere you
have travelled. It could be an ideal destination (even if it is imagi-
nary), or a place of childhood experience. It might even be your back
garden.
• In your mind’s eye imagine that you are in this place.
• Ask yourself what are the qualities of this place? What is special
about this place? How do I feel in this place?
• Know that you can visit this place in your mind whenever you
want to connect with these feelings or memories. You may even be
inspired to visit this place.

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In contrast, other places can make us feel tense or anxious.

Stark or volcanic landscapes can invigorate some people and
repel others. Places that have experienced war or environ-
mental damage in the past may evoke feelings of sadness and
despair, but we may also feel drawn to them in order to
honour past suffering.

Spiritual Places
There are many sites in the world that have great spiritual
significance, such as Machu Picchu in Peru, Varanasi in India
or Glastonbury in the UK. These holy places have acquired
the reverence of our ancestors through the centuries, with
offerings of prayers and hopes of blessings. For those of us
interested in spirituality, these are the places we are attracted
to, so that we too can feel closer to our own divinity.
I have mixed feelings about these places. I believe certain
places truly are spiritually special and have great significance
and power because of their location, history and intention.
However, I have visited many and found that the hordes of
other visitors inhibit my senses. Assisi is one such place. It is
the birthplace of Italy’s patron saint, St Francis, and people
flock from all over the world to visit the basilica and pray over
his remains. Beautiful as Assisi is, I prefer Eremo delle Carc-
eri, the hermitage in which St Francis stayed for many years,
living in rock dwellings amidst the forested slopes of Mount
Subasio. It is an enchanting place, much more akin to what we

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would expect of St Francis than the bustle and commercialism

of Assisi. Immersed in nature, I am reminded of St Francis’
connection to animals and desire for solitude. Many a time I
have felt the magical energy of this place, filling me with
wonder and gratitude.
If you enjoy visiting spiritual sites, you may find you get
more out of them when visiting in the early morning or eve-
ning, when the light is often subtler and the crowds smaller.
Or, like me, you may choose to visit less well-known sites. In
the UK, I enjoy searching out ancient stone circles, and
recently trekked to one in the midst of the Cornish country-
side. Able to touch the stones and contemplate their history,
and loll about amidst the overgrown grass in the circle’s
centre, I felt imbued with a sense of deep calm and mystery.
Places of magic exist everywhere, if we have our eyes open
to see them, and they are often much closer than we think.
Buildings that are intentionally built for worship, such as a
church, can be peaceful places to sit, and get in touch with the
divine. Nature, almost anywhere, will help us do the same.

Learning Through Experiencing

Why travel when we can see the world through photos or on
television in the snug comfort of our homes? I love watching
documentaries that tell the stories of peoples and lands far
away that I may never be able to visit in person. They inspire
me and teach me about our world. But all too often, we allow

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The Joy of Food

Whether we sample pizza in its birthplace in Naples, Italy, dim
sum in Hong Kong or ceviche in Peru, food is a wonderful reason
in itself to travel. Most countries, and regions within them, have
their own unique dishes using local produce with distinct flavours,
aromas, colours and textures.
Much more than sustenance, food is about culture, creativity,
experience and social interaction, and for many it is one of life’s
greatest pleasures. We can’t fully appreciate a culture without
trying its food. It is perhaps the simplest way we can experience
the wide creativity of the Earth and its people. If I had to express
a favourite cuisine it would be hard, because every cuisine has so
much to offer, be it the spiciness of Indian food, the sophisticated
flavour combinations of Japanese food, or the earthy simplicity of
Spanish food.
Whilst many crafts have been overtaken by mass-produced
goods, the love of producing and cooking food is still alive and
well in many countries. From small producers in French markets,
street-food stalls in Thailand to taco vendors in Mexico, we find
all over the world people who are proud about their produce. As
we try new foods, our senses are heightened. Foods we have not
tasted before may not always be to our liking, but only by trying
them can we find ones that are delicious and expand our palate.

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We learn about what flavours work together and can use this to
enhance our cooking back home, perhaps adding cardamom to
carrot cake, or garlic and rosemary to roast potatoes.
One of the first things I am eager to do on arrival in a new
land is to visit a local food market, grocery store or supermarket.
I love to see the array of colourful foods available, both ones I
have never seen before and variations of what I know. Food
markets have a special atmosphere as people jostle and chat with
fellow shoppers over something that is of great importance to
them. The appreciation of food is common to everyone.
By sharing food together we share our souls. Some of my
most rewarding experiences with local people have been through
sharing food. Being offered sweets or fruits by strangers on a
train is a demonstration of kindness and an icebreaker for
communication. Meraki is a word in modern Greek that is used
when someone is preparing a meal, placing an emphasis on the
way the meal is made rather than what is made. It is about
preparing food with love, for the people you love, and in doing so
sharing your soul. This sentiment can be felt wherever we go,
whether through seeing families eating together at home, or at
restaurants and cafés where the chef and waiters show particular
pride in what they do.

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the television, internet or newspapers to inform us of how

the world is. At school we learn languages, history and geog-
raphy through books and teachers. To really bring any of our
knowledge to life, nothing compares to experiencing what we
have learnt. Knowing something very rarely changes us. In
contrast, the memory of an experience stays with us forever.
Actually meeting people and hearing first-hand stories of
wars and harder times, and visiting places where history-
defining events took place, such as the Killing Fields of
Cambodia or the Berlin Wall memorial in Germany can move
us deeply in a way that no television documentary or book
could – generating compassion and understanding. Visiting
these places helps us to appreciate how our lives are now, and
to cherish our freedom and privileges.

T he C all of the W ild

◆

Wildness is a concept that fascinates us. Stories repeatedly incorpo-

rate the theme, and there is no end to the images of mountains, for-
ests, eagles and other wild animals in advertising.Yet our society
teaches us to be afraid of the wild. By visiting wild places, we recon-
nect with the wildness that is dormant within us.

W e don’t consider ourselves to be domesticated, in

the same way as pets and farm animals, but are we, in
truth, just as tame as they are? Most of us today live in cities

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‘And forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare
feet and the winds long to play with your hair.’
From ‘The Prophet’
Khalil Gibran

and spend far less time outside in natural spaces than people
did a few generations ago. Nature nourishes our spirits in the
same way that food and water nourish our bodies. The
demands of everyday life are draining; we are constantly on
our phones, dodging traffic, making decisions, interacting
with others.What human-made environments take away from
us, nature returns.
As we sit or walk in nature we are reminded that every-
thing has a natural rhythm. There is a time to be still, to play,
to grow, to blossom, to wilt and to die and for new life to
come. It reminds us that in every ending there is a beginning
and that nothing is ever constantly producing – a lesson so
important for our lives. As we slow down, we become more
present, and feel ourselves here, instead of struggling to get
somewhere else. Being in nature instils humility, too. In the
vastness of a forest, the open sea or atop a hill or mountain,
we sense how small we are in the context of the world and
this can put perspective on our own problems. As we contem-
plate the timeless existence of these places, our usual concerns
diminish and we open to the greater mystery of life.

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What Is Your True Nature?

As a sunflower seed carries the code for a golden-yellow
flower and an acorn has the potential to become a majestic
oak tree, so we can connect with our own life force, which is
growing inside us and bursting to come through. We may have
been tamed by our society or upbringing, but the call of the
wild is within us all. As we enter untamed landscapes, and
consciously retreat from consumer mentality, we experience
a gradual reconnection with the deep well of unhindered
energy that is our wild nature.
I love the children’s story, Mr Tiger Goes Wild, by Peter
Brown. It is a simple tale about a tiger who lives in a civilized
world where all animals wear clothes, go to work and are not
allowed to ‘behave like wild animals’. Mr Tiger doesn’t really
fit in and gets bored. He has an idea to start walking on all
fours, which makes him feel better, but the other animals
don’t approve. He then takes his clothes off, which shocks
everyone, and he is told he needs to leave for the wilderness
if he wants to be wild. At first, he loves the freedom of run-
ning free in the wilderness, but soon he misses his friends and
home. He goes back home to find that things are not quite as
rigid as before; not only is he freer to be himself but he sees
that others are loosening up too. We may leave the wilder-
ness, but when we accept the wild within us, we can be as we
are anywhere, even home. As we transform internally, we also
change the world around us.

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A Deeper Appreciation of Nature

As we slow down to take time simply to observe what is in
front of us, we can be overcome by the beauty and wonder of
nature. The dew on a spider’s web, sunlight shining through
the trees or the delicateness of a feather can make us gasp in
delight. In these enchanted moments, we know that nature is
miraculous, and connect with a wonder for life.
I once spoke to a psychologist about why we get depressed,
and he said that in his experience the main reason for depres-
sion is compulsively thinking negative thoughts. When you
are in the midst of this cycle, it is very difficult to recognize it,
let alone do anything about it. Connecting with nature can
help; this may not always be possible if we are in a city, but we
always have the sky. Sometimes when I am feeling low or
caught up in my thoughts, I find it helpful to look up into the
sky, allowing myself to be drawn into the clouds and their
texture, movement and shapes, then, even if just for a few
seconds, I realize that there is more to life than my thinking.

‘The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or

unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be
quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because
only then does one feel that all is as it should be.’
From ‘The Diary of a Young Girl’
Anne Frank

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Braving the Elements

Weather is a major factor when we are considering where to
go on our travels.We generally want sunshine, and experienc-
ing wind and rain can disappoint. However, there is something
special about braving the elements. I remember a chance stroll
in the countryside when blue skies promised no rain, only to
find ourselves caught in a downpour a few hours later, with
no raincoats. After trying to take shelter under a tree, we real-
ized that the rain wasn’t abating and we were getting soaked
anyway, so we strode out, all hopes of keeping dry dashed.
That point of not caring, no longer trying to be sensible, was
a liberating act of abandon, as we sloshed about in the puddles
and stared up to the sky with our mouths gaping open.
In our need to be constantly in control of what happens to
us, with all the gadgets, clothing and technology that we
surround ourselves with to ensure that we have all our needs
met, we lose opportunities to trust in ourselves and life, and
that we will be OK no matter what happens. I am all for being
prepared when I travel. Knowing what weather to expect is a
part of knowing what I need to take with me. However, some-
times being unprepared is of great value, and it is never
possible to be completely prepared anyway. As in life, the
unexpected will always happen or we find that we haven’t
taken the necessary precautions to shield ourselves from the
experience. The weather is yet another uncontrollable factor
of our trip and one that we would do well to accept.

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Maybe we need to be a bit more like children who find it

much easier to embrace what is. I remember many a wet
camping trip, with dashed dreams of swimming in the sea and
picnics on the beach, where all we could do was huddle up in
our sleeping bags playing cards. It could have been a disaster,
and it probably was for the adults, but I loved it. My older
cousin, who didn’t usually bother with me, was giving me her
full attention as we naughtily devoured bars of chocolate
hidden in our sleeping bags.

T he P eople
◆

If I was pressed to give just one reason why I love to travel it would
be because of the people.There is nothing more heartening than con-
necting with others, to experience compassion, love and laughter
with a fellow human being regardless of their culture, language,
religion or colour.

O ne particular experience that touched my heart is

when I was travelling on a train across northern Sri
Lanka towards Trincomalee. It is an area of the world that has
been ravaged by war, poverty and tsunamis, yet I found the
people to be the warmest that I have met. A young boy was
working his way through the carriages selling pens. He stood
before me with his hands full of plastic pens. I wanted to buy
something from him, so asked for two. He smiled at me as he

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gleefully handed them to me. I asked how much he wanted

for them, offering him some notes. He refused to take any-
thing from me and said it was his gift.
In so many countries I have visited, I have experienced
hospitality and warmth on a level that no traveller to my own
country would likely experience. These have tended to be
places where people have less materially, and where commu-
nity is a more intrinsic part of the culture. Encounters like
this can help us to better understand that there is so much
more to being human than what we earn, what religion we
are or where we are from.

I Don’t Want to Be a Tourist

One of the things I find hard about travelling is not liking to
feel like a tourist, where the only local people I interact with
are waiters, hotel receptionists or taxi drivers, and in all other
respects I am just an observer of life around me: of the bus-
tling goings-on as people trundle to work, of sellers hawking
for business, of friends greeting each other in the street, or of
mothers scolding their children, often in a language I do not
understand. Fascinating as this is, I do not always want to be
just an observer. It is often only when we get into difficulty,
perhaps getting lost or our car breaking down, that we are
forced to interact with local people. It takes courage to con-
nect with strangers and willingness to face rejection or look a
fool as we gesticulate or try a few words in a foreign tongue.

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If, like me, you too want to feel at least a little integrated
with the places you visit, consider going off the tourist track
to neighbourhood cafés or restaurants where the menu is only
in the local language. You may draw more attention to your-
self and find it harder to know what to order, but that will
force communication, and connection. People are always far
friendlier than I expect.
There are an increasing number of websites that organize
experiences in family homes or with local people. I was
recently taken on a walking tour of Kyoto by a local lady who
I found through one such website, and it was even free. She
enjoyed showing foreigners her town, and it was heart-warming
for me to meet and be shown around by a local. The
experience was a highlight of my trip to Japan.

Enjoying Different Cultures

The variety of ways in which we as humans have chosen to
live is fascinating. Across the planet there are countless
cultures with their unique languages, architecture, foods and
customs. As we venture into different countries we inevitably
come across a vast array of ways of being and doing. It can be
captivating seeing how people interact and go about their
daily lives, contrasting with what we are used to. In Japan, for
example, when travelling by train I was taken by how conduc-
tors bow as a sign of respect to passengers as they enter each
carriage. In France, I like to observe how friends emphatically

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Speaking the Language

It may not always be possible to learn much of the language of
the places we go to, but learning basic words such as ‘thank
you’ and ‘hello’ can go a long way in making local people
warm to you. It says a lot about you as a traveller if you are
willing to learn a few words of the local language. It says that
you are actually interested in the people there and aren’t just
there to take a few photographs. We can learn more about
faraway places by understanding the language used there, the
phrases and vocabulary. Learning words in a new language
means we have to be willing to be laughed at or misunderstood,
and we may need to swallow our pride a little, but being able
to laugh together is one of the best ways to connect.

greet each other with three or four kisses. I believe our differ-
ences are something to be amazed at and embraced, and can
inspire us to be freer in our own ways of being.
Sometimes, as foreigners in a foreign land, we can get
taken aback by the differences in behaviours that we observe.
I once lived in Spain, and was initially shocked at the volume
level and heatedness of voices during discussions at social
events, believing people to be arguing rather than expressing
an opinion. I would rarely speak to anyone with such fervour

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and passion; in my belief system, it is good to maintain

reserve, and ‘nice’ people do not shout. As I became more
absorbed in the culture, I had to adopt the same way of speak-
ing in order to be heard and I found myself loving my
new-found freedom to raise my voice and shout passionately.
There are certain cultures in which we feel more relaxed
and that seem to encourage aspects of ourselves that we might
feel are restricted back at home. It is quite common to feel a
sense of liberation outside of our own culture, and this can be
enhanced by the new culture in which we find ourselves.
Some find that the sound of the French language and café cul-
ture lifts their spirits; others are exhilarated by the rowdiness
and bright colours of the souks of Morocco. I particularly feel
at home in Spain because of the importance of social life over
work life there, which many a time has helped me to relax
and ease the demands I put on myself at home.

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 Chapter six

A World Full
of P aradoxes
As we are mindful of ourselves and the world
around us on our travels, we are more easily spoken
to by the beauty of a flower that connects us with
our innate beauty, or the smile of a stranger that
reinforces our belief in humanity. We are also more
easily spoken to by the fear of terrorism, by the sadness
of a child begging for money and the sight of plastic
rubbish that chokes our oceans and marine wildlife.
Our planet can be a joyful and heartbreaking place
all at once. Embracing the paradoxes in the world,
and in ourselves, is integral to mindfulness.

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T he S uffering & J oy of the W orld

◆

We live in a world of paradoxes, of darkness and light, of pain and

joy and of love and hate.We have a refugee crisis, and forests are
being devastated in the name of progress. Access to schools, health
care, electricity and safe water remains elusive for many people.You
may not experience any of this first-hand, even if you travel widely,
but if you are interested in the world around you, you will be aware
of the seemingly unsurmountable suffering that goes on.

T he question of how to reconcile ourselves with

these paradoxes is a complex one. In mindfulness we
hold the intention to embrace all that is. But how can we
embrace the suffering of the whole world? The answer lies in
our ability to accept and embrace our own suffering, and the
light and shadow that is within each one of us, and in doing so
be able to act from compassion rather than pity or guilt.
We grow up in a world where we believe that in order to
be happy we must not be sad. If you have ever felt angry and
someone tries to make you laugh you may have felt resistance
because you want to hold on to being angry, when actually we
can feel angry and laugh at the same time. It is this simple
belief that we cannot be both happy and sad at the same time
that limits us from feeling fully alive. In travelling to places
where there is poverty, I have felt both sadness and despair
and happiness and connection, sometimes simultaneously.

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‘There is something wonderfully bold and liberating

about saying yes to our entire imperfect and messy life.’
From ‘Radical Acceptance’
Tara Brach

The truth is, we can’t have light without dark or joy with-
out pain. We may never know why the world is as it is, but in
embracing the energy within us that seeks something deeper
and more real, we begin to open our hearts to the paradoxes
of life. Travel isn’t always about having nice experiences; it
can be about having real experiences that have a lasting impact
on us when we come home – on our priorities, perspective
and place in the world. Sometimes we need to be shaken up
in order to begin to make a difference.

Encountering Poverty
I’ve quite commonly heard people say to me that they
wouldn’t want to travel to many countries in Asia or Africa
because they couldn’t bear to see such poverty. Whilst it can
be quite distressing to witness gaping differences in wealth,
what we are trying to avoid is feeling guilty, sad or over-
whelmed with upsetting emotions and not knowing what to
do about it. Most of us, quite naturally and often uncon-
sciously, try to avoid these ‘bad’ feelings. By practising
mindfulness we consciously choose to embrace them, because

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ultimately they are within us wherever we choose to go, and

it is only by accepting them that we can find peace in our-
selves. We can choose to be shielded from seeing the poverty
in many countries by travelling on escorted trips that mini-
mize exposure to the normal world, focusing on luxury
hotels, cultural shows, museums and expensive resorts. How-
ever, by hiding from our pain we also block our joy.
I remember flying to India as a child and, as we landed over
Mumbai, seeing swathes of shanty towns below me. We later
bypassed these towns in an auto-rickshaw and I was shocked
by the open sewers, beggars running up to us as we stopped
in the traffic, and piles of rubbish and rubble everywhere. I
was also amazed by how many of the wealthier locals seemed
to turn a blind eye, almost immunized from what they saw.
It can be disturbing to travel to places that have much
greater levels of poverty than we are used to, witnessing child
labour, women carrying babies whilst they work the fields,
and all levels of disabled people trying to get by without any
aids. There is nothing like coming face to face with such pov-
erty to get us to begin to ask questions, such as, ‘How can we
live in a world where many children have no access to educa-
tion, where people die from treatable illnesses like malaria,
and where almost half the population live in poverty?’ I have
always thought that if an alien were to visit our world and see
the level of disparity in wealth, where one person starves
whilst another gorges themselves on food, they would think

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us mad. Perhaps this is madness. In our cleverness at creating

technologies that allow us to speak to someone halfway
around the world, have we have bypassed our consciousness?

What Can We Do?

We have many potential responses to the question of suffer-
ing, and each response is personal to the individual. We can
take the stance that this is just how the world is and there’s
not much we can do about it. We can say that we have prob-
lems too and question why we should sort out someone else’s.
We can decide to travel responsibly, staying at places that give
back to the local community, or we can donate to or volun-
teer at charities that help the injustices that we have seen.
It is commendable to want to do something, but we are
still left with the question of how to deal with what we expe-
rience on an emotional level. Whilst activism can be very
powerful – and it is important to act if that is what we feel
drawn to doing – we also need to awaken our own conscious-
ness, otherwise transformation will not hold. Unless we know
how to be compassionate, non-judgemental and loving, trans-
formation will not happen, no matter what the message is.

Acting from Compassion

If we visit a place with the attitude that we are better off than
the people there and say things like, ‘It breaks my heart to see
such poverty’, we can feel so bad about what we see that we

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‘Personal transformation can and does have

global effects. As we go, so goes the world, for the
world is us. The revolution that will save the world
is ultimately a personal one.’
From ‘Illuminata: Thoughts, Prayers, Rites of Passage’
Marianne Williamson

can never escape from our emotions. All we take with us is

pity, and all that the people there get from us is an image of
someone who feels bad in their presence. Giving of ourselves
is not about feeling sorry for or pitying another, but knowing
that in our common humanity we are brothers and sisters.
Whether we see global poverty first-hand or not, we know
that it exists. Guilt that you are suffering and I am not, or that
you are poor and I am not, will block compassion. Self-hatred,
fear and anger can take over. We think that feeling bad goes
hand-in-hand with being bad and this cuts us off from connec-
tion and being of true service in the world.
We have to start with ourselves. If we are at war with our-
selves then how can we act with compassion to others? In
accepting that we are full of paradoxes, just as the world is,
that in each one of us is anger and love, sadness and joy, we
open to our own suffering. If we do not take a mindful
approach with an acceptance of what is before we react, then
when we sense the suffering in others we will either push our

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feelings away or be overwhelmed by them. Compassion is

when we experience negative emotions, such as sadness and
grief, but there is enough space not to be overwhelmed.

Joy Is Everywhere
Although many people in our world struggle to make ends
meet, we can’t assume they are any less happy than we are. In
the developed world, with all the ‘stuff’ we have and think we
need to have, there is an epidemic of loneliness. Joy is not
born from having things; joy is a result of connection. My
experience of places where people materially have less, is that

Responsible Travel
When visiting places where there may be economical or
environmental concerns, it is important to travel responsibly,
making sure, as far as possible, that our money is helping the
welfare of more than just the wealthiest people, and is not
having a detrimental effect on the environment. Most places
we stay at will not be certified as eco-resorts or have
responsible travel accreditation. When we research places to
stay we will get a feel for what they are about, and when we
visit we can ask how they may be supporting the environment
or the local community. We can then write blogs and reviews
about our experience to help fellow travellers.

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there is sometimes more joy. I volunteered for an environ-

mental charity in Costa Rica because I believed that I was
going to help those less fortunate than me. What happened
was the reverse. I realized that in many ways they were more
fortunate than me. Never before had I experienced such
warm hospitality, danced so much and been welcomed by so
many open-hearted people.

T he U nity of B eing H uman

◆

As we venture to new lands, taking with us our own culturally con-

ditioned beliefs and perspective on the world, it is easy to forget that
we are the foreigners. As we become more mindful of how our experi-
ences contrast to that which we are used to, we can question what it
is that makes us who we are beyond our conditioning, opening to our
own truth, and in turn meeting others in theirs.

A s we go about our lives, it is usual for us to define

ourselves by what we do, what we have or what we
believe, what relationship we are in, what values we hold,
what we own or how much money we have. There is nothing
wrong with any of these things, but they are not who we are.
If I lose my material possessions or change my beliefs, I am
still me. If I believe what makes me of value is my home or the
things I own, then I do not believe that I have intrinsic value.
Whether or not I lose my money, I lose touch with who I am,

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‘It is with the soul that we grasp the

essence of another human being, not with the
mind, nor even with the heart.’
From ‘The Books in My Life’
Henry Miller

or my soul. When we strip away the labels that we acquire –

status, religion, level of wealth, nationality, skin colour – we
have to ask of ourselves who we really are without them. Free
of these identities, we begin to forge a life that truly reflects
who we are. This takes courage.
For me, meditation connects me with my soul, the core of
who I am. As I meditate, I connect with my body, my breath
and all that is inside and all that surrounds me. This sense of
OK-ness with all that is, is also an OK-ness with all that I am.
No one can take that away from me; only I can disconnect
myself from it.

Transcending Conditioned Beliefs

It is in stillness, whether during meditation or simply tapping
into stillness at any moment we choose, that we connect with
the essence of who we are, beyond the labels that we may
attribute to ourselves. This is our identity beyond thought,
our soul. The more we practise this, the more we feel alive.
When we loosen our conditioned beliefs, we can learn to see

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‘You are only free when you realise you

belong to no place.You belong to every place.
The price is high but the reward is great.’
From ‘Conversations with Maya Angelou’
Maya Angelou

the soul in others, too, rather than relating to them from an

egoic perspective of judgement. As we become more con-
scious of our thoughts, through the practice of mindfulness,
we realize that we have beliefs we have adopted that perhaps
no longer serve us. We make judgements all the time and it is
generally something we don’t like to admit to ourselves, let
alone anyone else. We teach our children not to call other
children names based on their external experience, yet may
unconsciously harbour our own prejudices.
The wonderful thing about travel is that we take ourselves
away from many of our false identities – what we own, what
we do, our role and status – and we have the chance to dis-
cover our true identity. As we become present to the wonders
of the world, we feel a sense of identity and belonging that
goes beyond borders and labels. As we travel and come across
people we would never normally encounter, perhaps with a
culture and beliefs very different from our own, we may start
off with prejudices, but there is something quite magical
when we connect with others on an emotional level and

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realize we have much more in common than we thought. In

doing so, we broaden our minds and become more tolerant of
differences wherever we encounter them.

Overcoming Conflict
There are times when we feel conflicted by what we come
across on our travels, maybe in the way animals are treated, or
in attitudes that are shown towards women. It is common in
these instances, when our values are threatened, to criticize
and judge and in doing so perpetuate a ‘them and us’ view-
point of separation. We may even believe that the people we
are criticizing are bad people. If you think of many of the
problems in the world, such as religious intolerance or
cultural superiority, they are down to this belief.
It is very hard to maintain a stance of tolerance and open-
heartedness when the actions and opinions of others go
against what we believe to be right. I am not suggesting that
we drop our standards. However, there is importance in
understanding that issues are rarely black and white, or good
and bad, in life. Everyone has a story or a reason to hold the
beliefs they do. When removed from our own culture, we will
still carry with us our beliefs about ourselves and how the
world should be. A large part of our belief system is uncon-
scious, taken on as a child and never questioned.
As we become more mindful, or aware, of our beliefs, then
we have a choice about whether we want to hold onto them.

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‘Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry,

and narrow-mindedness.’
From ‘The Innocents Abroad’
Mark Twain

Travelling not only helps us to be more aware of our beliefs

– as we bump up against different ways of doing and being –
but gives us other options. Even if I believe myself to be open
and non-judgemental, I can often find myself caught out and
find I am irritated or intolerant of behaviours that don’t align
with those that I find acceptable.
I find it hard when people stare intently at me in India, and
it is easy to get annoyed and take offence, when this is more
often a sign of curiosity rather than animosity. In rural Italy it
is common to keep dogs in enclosures or tied by ropes, only
to be let out at night to guard the premises. They are not taken
for walks or allowed in the home, as I am used to. It distresses
me to see dogs treated like this, yet it is completely normal
for the people who live there. I could choose to close myself
off to these people and strike them off as being wrong or bad,
but the mindful reaction is to keep my heart open. They are
not bad people; they are in fact very hospitable and warm-
hearted, as we all are when treated with kindness and respect.
They are just people who have a very different belief system
to me, generally as a result of their cultural conditioning.

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Staying True to Our Values

It can be a difficult balancing act: being open to ideas that we
may find hard to accept, and yet staying true to our values. As
we practise mindfulness we become more conscious of our
own beliefs and conditioning, and understand that we may
still have unconscious beliefs that are in conflict with what we
are experiencing.
I recently watched a film about a couple travelling by
trailer from Canada to Mexico. Vegans at home, they chose to
eat meat during their travels because they felt that sticking to
veganism, particularly whilst in Mexico, would restrict them
from enjoying the culture and mixing with local people. When
we travel we often have to weigh up our values, choosing to
keep the ones that matter to us most and relax the ones that
may get in the way of us having a fuller experience. Whatever
you choose to do, or not to do, is your decision. I chose not
to speak up for the tied-up dogs in Italy, but there have been
times when I have travelled where the injustice I have seen is
so great that I do feel the need to do something. There are no
rules; it is about checking in with yourself. We may well find
that by questioning our own thinking and beliefs we find
alternative ones that resonate better with the truth of who we
are now, as opposed to what we learnt when we were children.

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 Chapter seven

Coming Home
Travel may last a few days, but the time spent
going over our trip, thinking and reflecting, can last
a lifetime.The journey we have taken may have given
us amazing experiences, expanding our being and sense
of what is possible, but it is only through being still
that we can begin to integrate this into our everyday
lives. For it is in stillness that we can reconnect with
our new-found sense of freedom and possibility, and
what we have learnt about who we are beyond
our conditioning. In this way, we know that
the real road back home is the one that
leads back to our true self.

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T he R eturn
◆

If you have had a great time away, you may dread coming home,
knowing that it will be a while until your next trip. Alternatively,
you could be feeling relieved or refreshed and looking forward to
getting back to your daily life. Whatever you may be feeling, coming
home is a transition.

W hen you arrive back home, it may seem as if noth-

ing has changed. Your home and friends are as they
were when you left, but something feels different. Probably
you are tired from your journey but there seems to be a mis-
match between how you were when you left and how you are
now. There can be a strange
When we travel we have sense of detachment from
intense experiences that everything and everyone
often expand our being around you. Maybe you notice
things that you wouldn’t
usually – the temperature, the colour of your walls, how tidy
your home is. You may find you are not so interested in what
your friends are talking about, or feel unusually resistant to
going back to work.
What has happened is an internal shift. Our experiences
change us, whatever they are, and when we travel we have
intense experiences that often expand our being and what we
believe to be possible in our lives. We will have gained

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MINDFULNESS EXERCISE

managing the transition


This exercise will help you to integrate what you have experienced on your
travels, and is recommended in the days or weeks after your arrival back
home.
• Take a moment to sit and be, perhaps with your eyes closed, and focus on
your breath.
• Tune into how you are feeling. Are you relaxed? Unsettled? Confused? It
doesn’t matter. Just be with whatever feeling arises.
• Now open your eyes to observe your surroundings. What do you notice?
• Ask yourself what is different from before you went away. It may be some-
thing external that has changed but it is more likely to be your take on things
that has changed. Perhaps this place is feeling alien to you, or you notice the
colours or sounds more.
• As you go through your day, keep tapping into how you see the world
around you, because this new way of seeing comes from the new you.

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‘Why do you go away? So that you can come back.

So that you can see the place you came from with new
eyes and extra colours. And the people there see you
differently, too. Coming back to where you
started is not the same as never leaving.’
From ‘A Hat Full of Sky’
Terry Pratchett

perspective on our life, and perhaps are keen to instigate

changes, such as showing appreciation for our loved ones or
deciding to walk more every day. We may even have changed
more radically due to our experiences; we may decide to end
a relationship, change career or volunteer abroad. It can help
to take things slowly and be gentle on yourself. The clarity of
vision we had when we were away may be harder to follow
through on when we get home, when reality hits us and our
old beliefs about ourselves and how things should be return.
It is common to feel lonely when we return when no one
at home understands what we have experienced. We bring
with us a part of the world that we have visited and it becomes
locked into our being, changing us forever. Finding support
to reconnect with our newness is essential to integrate it into
our lives. Maybe we need to join a yoga class, begin a cultural
exchange, connect with others who have had similar experi-
ences or volunteer for a charity.

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MINDFULNESS EXERCISE

reconnecting with the new you


When you are back at home and longing to be away again, you can recon-
nect with your travelling experiences through visualization.
• Take a moment to contemplate the places that inspired you most on your
travels. Choose one.
• Tap into the feeling of this place. Is it warm or cold? What is the weather
like? Is there anyone else there? What are the surroundings? Allow yourself
to imagine you are there, regardless of the practicalities.
• As you visualize yourself in this place, notice how you are feeling. Maybe
a sense of relaxation envelops you as you feel the warmth of the sun, or
perhaps it is exhilaration and excitement you experience as you set off on an
adventure, or a sense of awe and wonder as you stand on top of a mountain.
Stay with this visualization as long as you like.
• When you come back from your visualization, notice how different you
feel and how the sensations you felt are still with you now. Know that you
can access these feelings any time you want.
• Whilst your current circumstances may be very different from those of your
visualization, consider whether you can bring elements of it into your day
today – maybe a walk in nature, a sauna or an hour to read.

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B reaking the M onotony

of our D aily L ives
◆

As exciting as travel is, we can’t always take off to somewhere new

when we find we are bored or stuck in our lives. However, there are
many things we can do in our daily lives that break the monotony,
helping us to feel inspired and renewed even when we are home.

Seeing with New Eyes

The very nature of travelling generally means experiencing
something new and different. Often when we do the same
journey over and over again, perhaps to work or to the shops,
or dropping our children off at school, we can lose ourselves
in our own thoughts. Rather than be present to where we are,
we go on autopilot. You can foster a beginner’s mind by con-
sciously taking more notice of your surroundings and being
curious about the things that catch your eye. These may be
things you have seen before, maybe the detail of a street lamp
or the leaves of a tree that you usually just walk past without
noticing – but you are seeing them from a fresh perspective.
Or, you could simply try altering your route, which will make
you aware of your surroundings as you look where to go.

Being Grateful
Monotony is the inability to see the good, the interesting or
the exciting in every day. The practice of gratitude can shift

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MINDFULNESS EXERCISE

practising gratitude

At the end of each day think of:
• One thing you are grateful for today
• One person you enjoyed seeing
• One thing you have learnt
• One thing you admire in someone else
• One thing you admire in yourself
• One thing that inspired you
You will find that as you practise this, you will be more conscious of
creating and responding to things that you are grateful for.

our perception. When we hold the intention to be grateful,

we find the silver linings in even the dullest of days. There are
many joyful experiences that happen every day that we fail to
recognize. People who have been held as prisoners, when
asked what they missed most in life, say the sky, the horizon,
a child’s laughter, their partner’s kiss. These are all things that
most of us can experience daily, if we take the time to notice.

Have a Day with Nothing Planned

When was the last time you had a day stretched out ahead of
you with nothing planned and nothing to do but to follow
your inspiration in each moment? Maybe you can just sit on
your sofa with no phone to resort to. Boredom may arise, but

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‘When each day is the same as the next, it’s because

people fail to recognize the good things that happen in
their lives every day that the sun rises.’
From ‘The Alchemist’
Paulo Coelho (1947–), novelist

this can be the gateway to inspiration, if we stick through it.

Put some music on. Jump on the next bus, no matter where
it is going, and get off at a stop you don’t know. Cook some-
thing exciting – maybe get inspiration from a chef you like, or
go to the supermarket and buy a fruit or vegetable you haven’t
tried before. Scribble crazy colours on a piece of paper.

Pushing Your Comfort Zone

Is there anything you have been dying to do but are too scared?
Too tired? Told yourself you can’t afford it? Do it! Dance in
your front room like no one is watching. Talk to a stranger. Go
to the cinema on your own. Learn a language. Do a cultural
exchange with someone from a different country. Take an
interest in world cinema, art and music. Take up a dance class,
art class or writing class. Meditate! You will find that as you
focus on what your soul is calling you to do, your fears will
become easier to overcome. Gradually this will have a cumu-
lative effect on your whole life, helping you to feel more
courageous in all that you do.

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Redefining Travel
We like to think of travel as going to far-off places, escaping
our home to experience the new and exotic. But travel can be
the act of simply going somewhere new.We can’t always jump
on flights to places with different climates, with people that
speak foreign languages and have different ways of living.
Broadening our horizons is not just about expanding our
physical limitations; it is also about expanding our definition
of what is possible and opening our ideas to encompass what
is closer to home. We could go to a country halfway around
the world, or it could be to the next town. Or, we could
simply explore our own neighbourhood with new eyes.
I recently became car-less and have found myself having
to get more buses and walk to places that I would usually have
driven to. This has taken me on new routes and I have walked
down streets that I never knew existed, even though I have
been within metres of them many times. Seeing gardens that
owners obviously take great pride in, rundown buildings,
beautiful buildings – all give a richer flavour of the town I call
home, and help me to appreciate it all the more.
When I travel I often find people who have seen more of
my own country than I have. I have made it a point over the
last few years to visit more of my own country and have
enjoyed its diversity of landscapes, culture and peoples.

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C oming H ome to O urselves

◆

As we follow a path into the external world we are also allowing

ourselves to open up to the treasures within ourselves.This is the true
meaning of coming home, to a place where we can be ourselves. And
so the longing to travel becomes a longing to come home to ourselves.

W hen I stop to gaze into the skies, even on the

cloudiest of days, I am drawn by the seagulls that dive
and glide in the wind. Many a time I have longed to be a bird,
free to fly wherever I choose. For a large part of my life, I have
felt a strong urge to be free. For many years, I chose to travel,
live and work abroad, finding a new sense of freedom as I
visited new countries, unbound by my own culture and con-
ditioning.
Despite all the enriching benefits of travelling, as with any-
thing, mindfulness is required to be aware of why we are
travelling and whether it is really bringing balance to our
lives, or whether it is creating greater imbalance. For me,
travelling can also be a form of escapism. When things aren’t
going well, I just want to get away. What I have come to real-
ize is that there is no escaping myself, and true freedom comes
from within. Whatever is showing up in my life that feels
restrictive is due to a limiting belief that I am holding onto.
I was once struck by a friend telling me that she did not
feel the need to travel anymore. Now in her 40s with many

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years travelling behind her, she told me how she had left home
to travel in her mid-20s, spending 18 months in Southeast
Asia and Italy. She described the need to ‘cut the umbilical
cord’ from her mother and experience the freedom of no
expectations from family or society about what she needed to
be doing with her life. In this freedom she had no pressure to
be or do anything other than follow what she felt drawn to,
making connections with others along the way. In the years
that followed she continued to spend as much time abroad as
possible, lusting after the sense of freedom that she got from
travelling, until a point in her life years later when she did not
feel this need to escape anymore. ‘I had developed my own
freedom at home in the choices that I had made regarding
how I work and live, and in the friends I have,’ she said. ‘I can
now live how I want because I have let go of the beliefs that I
need to be different to who I am.’
Whilst travelling puts us in touch with a sense of freedom
and possibility, integrating this into our everyday lives requires
us to carry inside us this sense of freedom, so that whether we
are at home or away, we know that we are always free.

‘Home is neither here nor there.

Home is within you, or home is nowhere at all.’
From ‘Siddhartha’
Hermann Hesse

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Mindfulness practices help us to become aware of the

beliefs we hold that tell us we are not free – those internal-
ized voices of our parents, teachers or society that tell us we
are not good enough, that we need to be a certain way in
order to be successful, that we need to put up with circum-
stances that may not be OK with us. With awareness and
acceptance of these limiting beliefs we can begin to release
them and free ourselves from their hold.

Seeing Ourselves with New Eyes

In his book The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho tells the story of an
Andalusian shepherd boy named Santiago, who has a series of
dreams that he believes to be prophetic, telling him to travel
to Egypt to discover a treasure buried in the pyramids. What
starts out as a quest to find
Our travels are often a treasure turns out to be a
catalyst for discovering voyage of self-discovery. After
the treasure that lies meeting various challenges
within each one of us and teachers along the way, his
journey culminates at the foot
of the pyramids, where he starts digging for treasure. He is
accosted by two thieves, who beat him and threaten to steal
his money. When they realize he has no money, they take pity
on him and listen to his story. One of the thieves tells Santiago
that heeding dreams is ridiculous and laughingly tells him of a
dream he had that showed treasure buried under a hill in

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Spain. Santiago goes back home to find the treasure buried

under the hill where he lives. Our travels are often a catalyst
for discovering the treasure that lies within each one of us;
whilst it has always been within us, it is only by getting away
that we are able to see it.
Wherever we choose to travel to, in exploration of the sur-
prising and new in the world, we have the potential to become
more aware of the surprising and new within our being. As we
hold a mindful approach – of openness, curiosity and compas-
sion – we initiate an unfolding within. In connecting with
nature, with others and with ourselves, we gain perspective
on our lives and our priorities. By being present, not only
through our experiences of delight and fascination, but also
through more challenging times, we draw on inner resources
and touch places deep within our soul. And so exploring the
world becomes the perfect catalyst for our journey in life, a
journey of self-discovery.

‘We carry inside us the wonders we seek outside us.’

From ‘The Essential Rumi’
Jalal ad-Din Muhammad Rumi (also known as Rumi)

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 index

index
◆

adventure 38 embracing the moment 78–87

air travel 51–2, 85 environmental issues 48, 51–2, 82,
The Alchemist 136, 140–1 121
Angelou, Maya 124
anxiety 75–7 family holidays 53–5
arriving home 130–3 fear of missing out 78
awareness 10, 15–16 finding peace 89
flying 51–2, 85
balance 34–42 food 102–3
beginner’s mind 27–8, 134 Francis, Saint 100–1
being present 15, 28, 83, 86, 141 Frank, Anne 107
being still 15–16, 17 freedom 138–40
black hole resorts 81
Brach, Tara 117 Gibran, Khalil 105
Brown, H. Jackson, Jr. 71 gratitude 134–5
Brown, Peter 106 guidebooks 80–1, 82
Buber, Martin 9
Buddha 67 hero’s journey 63–71
busyness 19–20 Hesse, Herman 139

Campbell, Joseph 64 inspiration 40–1, 86

Catto, Jamie 90 intention setting 15, 35–7, 79
challenges 32, 67–8, 87–93 interests 39
change 92–3 Iyer, Pico 60
children 18, 53, 54, 109
Coelho, Paolo 136, 140–1 joy 121–2
colour 23–4
companions 57 Kabat-Zinn, Jon 18
compassion 19, 24–5, 51, 119–21 Kumar, Satish 49
conditioned beliefs 123–5
conflict 125–6 language 112
connection 9, 16, 33 Lao Tzu 62
courage 70–1 leaps of faith 68–9
crises 91–2 learning through experiencing 101,
cultural differences 25–6, 111–13, 104
125–6
curiosity 22–4, 54, 79, 82 making mistakes 28–9
meditation 16, 19, 44–5, 123
delays 88–91 Miller, Henry 123
depression 107 mindful moments 16, 21
desire to travel 33 modes of transport 47–52
duration 41–2 Mr Tiger GoesWild 106

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 index

nature 104–9 sound 97

negative thoughts 107 spiritual places 100–1
Nehru, Jawaharlal 26 stillness 15–19, 123
new routines 83 stopping 20–1
non-judgement 26–7 suffering 116–22
Nordby, Jacob 64, 84 switching off 81, 83

open-mindedness 25–6 Taoist story 87–8

taste 97, 102–3
patience 29 Tolle, Eckhart 77
people 24–5, 109–13 touch 98
perfect trip 8–9 tourist sites 80–1, 82
personal transformation 120 train travel 47–8, 85
perspective 9, 40, 62–3 transition 74–7, 131
pilgrimages 43, 46–7 transport 47–52
poverty 117–19 Twain, Mark 126
Pratchett, Terry 132
unity of being human 122–7
reconnecting 20–1, 133
recording experiences 86–7 values 127
redefining travel 137 views 85
relaxation 36–7
responsible travel 121 walking 46–7, 49–51
rest 36–7 weather 108–9
retreats 39, 42–3, 44–5 wellbeing 39–40
returning 130–3 wildness 104–9
Roosevelt, Eleanor 38 Williamson, Marianne 120
routines 83
Rowling, J.K. 81 Zen Buddhism 27
Rumi 141

seeing/sight 54, 84, 96, 134

sense of place 98–100
senses 96–104
shared humanity 122–7
shoshin 27
small things 84–5
smartphones 81, 83, 86
smell 97–8
social media 82, 83, 86
solo travelling 55–6
soul 123, 124

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A cknowledgements
◆

I am very grateful to my parents, Mary and Theo, for

encouraging in me a passion for travelling from an early age.
Their own cultural differences and their embrace of others from
diverse backgrounds and cultures was an integral part of my upbringing.
They taught me to relish diversity whilst knowing that we are all
equal as humans, and to venture into new lands with
excitement and an open heart.
Thank you to all my family and friends around the world for
welcoming me into their homes, teaching me new languages, new ways
of cooking and new ways of being. To this extent, I particularly thank
Roberto, Anna and Eleonora in Montefalco, Italy, which has
become a home from home.
Thank you to my daughter, Lily, for reminding me how
to travel with the innocence and joy of a child. Her sense of fun and
keen observation continue to be an inspiration.
Thank you to Mike, for being my companion on many walking
and cultural escapades near and far, over the past years, many of which
have fed the anecdotes in this book.
I am grateful to all at Leaping Hare Press for making this
book possible. To Claire Saunders for her wise, rigorous and sensitive
editing. To Tom Kitch for skilfully overseeing the process. To Monica
Perdoni for championing my ideas and for her encouragement as the
book progressed. To all the design team for turning this into an
object of beauty. And thank you in advance to Graham Robson for
his bubbly enthusiasm in marketing and promotion.
I feel privileged to have had the opportunity to write this book,
which has taken me on a profound and nourishing journey, connecting
me to the wonders of the world within and around me and the paradoxes
that lie within us all. As I wrote I was reminded that life is a journey,
made all the richer by following our truth and being open to
unexpected diversions along the way.

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