FACULTY OF ENGINEERING

KAMPALA CAMPUS
CHRISTIAN ETHICS 1
CEV1101
LECTURE’S NAME: MRS. ELIZABETH MUWANGUZI

STUDENT’S NAME: NOOWE AMOS

REGISTRATION NUMBER: 21/2/328/WJ/347
MARRIAGE
AND
FAMILY
 THE BIBLE’S TEACHING ON MARRIAGE AND
FAMILY

The Current Cultural Crisis

Incredible as it may seem, we can no longer assume that people in our culture
understand what the proper definition of “marriage” and “the family” is. Not
only is this a sad commentary on the impact of same-sex marriage activists on
our society, it also shows how the culture’s memory of the biblical tradition on
which it is largely based is fading fast. What is marriage, biblically defined?
And what is the biblical definition of a family?

God decided that Adam needed a wife to help him and to be

God sketched his original plan for marriage in Genesis 2:24 when man his
companion. Genesis 2:18
(Adam) and one woman (Eve) united together to become one flesh.

Foundation, marriage and the family are institutions under siege today, and only
a return to the biblical foundation of these God-given institutions will reverse the
decline of marriage and the family in our culture today.

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What Is a Family?

The Bible defines “family” in a narrow sense as the union of one man and one woman in matrimony which is
normally blessed with one or several natural or adopted children. In a broad sense, this family also includes any
other persons related by blood (the extended family). In the book of Genesis, we read that God in the beginning created
first a man (Adam) to exercise dominion over his creation and subsequently a woman (Eve) as the man’s “suitable helper”
(Genesis 2:18, 20). Then, the inspired writer remarks, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold
fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24 ESV). This verse sets forth the biblical pattern as it was
instituted by God at the beginning: one man is united to one woman in matrimony, and the two form one new natural
family. In this regard, “become one flesh” not only refers to the establishment of one new family but also to the husband
and wife’s sexual union leading to the procreation of offspring. This, in turn, is in keeping with God’s original command to
the first human couple to “be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion” over all of creation
(Genesis 1:28).

These aspects of marriage—the complementarity of male and female, and the irreplaceable role of male-female relations in
reproducing the human race—are part of the original order of creation and are evident to all human beings from the e-
during order of nature. These common elements of marriage are at the heart of our civil laws defining and regulating
marriage. Therefore, people of all cultures and religions—including those who lack faith in God, Christ, or the Bible are
capable of participating in the institution of marriage. However, we who are Christians believe that the fullest
NBS TV News anchor Canary
understanding of God’s will for marriage can be derived from a careful examination of scriptural teachings. It is incumbent Mugume weds his longtime fiance
upon the church to educate both itself and the larger culture regarding the full breadth and depth of God’s intentions for Fiona Naggirinya aka Sasha
marriage.
Ferguson in a beautiful wedding
ceremony as they said "I Do" at in
front of Pastor Robert Kayanja,
reception at Speak Resort Munyonyo
on 18/10/2021
3
 Marriage: Contract or
Covenant?
Today, marriage and the family are regularly viewed as social
conventions that can be entered into and severed by the marital partners at
will. As long as a given marriage relationship meets the needs of both
individuals involved and is considered advantageous by both sides, the
marriage is worth sustaining. If one or both partners decide that they will
be better off by breaking up the marriage and entering into a new, better
marital union, nothing can legitimately keep them from pursuing their
self-interest, self-realization, and self-fulfillment. To be sure, there is talk
about the cost of divorce and the toll exerted on the children caught up in
the marital separation of their parents, but even such a toll is considered to
be worth paying in order to safeguard the most cherished principles of our
independent-minded, freedom-worshipping, individual rights-exalting
culture. If one or both marriage partners want to get out of the marriage,
nothing should hold them back, or else the culture’s supreme values—
individual choice and libertarian freedom—are not given their due.

4
 NTV News anchor, Andrew Kyamagero commonly known as
Kabaka Ronald Muwenda Mutebi II is married to one wife,
whom he wed on 27 August 1999. Omuntu wawansi married the love of his life, Linda
Ndagire in a civil ceremony by Uganda Registration
Services Bureau (URSB) on May 16, 2019.

There is no room for selfishness in marriage. The couple is told to honor each other (1 Peter 3:2,7). The
Christian marriage reflects the relationship between Christ and the church. There has to be mutual love,
faithfulness and a servant attitude on both sides.
5
 Contract

By contrast, the Bible makes it clear that, at the root, marriage and the family are not human conventions
based merely on a temporary consensus and time-honored tradition. Instead, Scripture teaches that family
was God’s idea and that marriage is a divine, not merely human, institution. The implication of this truth is
significant in-deed, for this means that humans are not free to renegotiate or redefine marriage and the family
in any way they choose but that they are called to preserve and respect what has been divinely instituted. This
is in keeping with Jesus’ words, uttered when his contemporaries asked him about the permissibility of
divorce: “What therefore God has joined together let not man separate” (Matthew 19:6). For this reason,
marriage is far more than a human social contract; it is a divinely instituted covenant.
Christian Wedding rings are a sign of eternal
faith, love and unwavering dedication Covenant

But what is a “covenant”? In essence, a covenant is a contract between two parties that is established before
God as a witness, a contract whose permanence is ultimately safeguarded by none other than God himself.
In this sense, marriage is a covenant: it is entered into by the husband and the wife before God as a
witness. Because it is ultimately God who has joined the marriage partners together, the husband and the
wife vow to each other abiding loyalty and fidelity “till death do us part.” Rightly understood, therefore, a
marriage entered into before God involves three persons: a husband, a wife, and God. For this reason, it is not
self-interest, human advantage, or an unfettered commitment to personal freedom that governs the marriage
relationship, but the husband and wife’s joint commitment to conduct their marriage based on God’s design
and sovereign plan. Christians always put on rings to emphasize the spiritual nature of the vows by not only
representing a couple’s love but also the love of God for the couple and their commitment to honor him with
sanctity of their marriage.
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 SACREDNESS
What Is Marriage?
(2) The sacredness of marriage: Marriage is
PERMANENCE not merely a human agreement between two
consenting individuals (a “civil union”); it is a
relationship before and under God (Genesis
Marriage is a covenant, a sacred bond (1) The permanence of 2:22).Hence, a “same-sex marriage” is an
between a man and a woman instituted oxymoron, a contradiction in terms. Since
marriage: Marriage is in-tended to Scripture universally condemns homosexual
by and publicly entered into before God be permanent, since it was relationships (see further under Homosexuality
and normally consummated by sexual below) God will never sanction a marital bond
established by God (Matthew 19:6; between two members of the same sex.
intercourse. God’s plan for the marriage
Mark 10:9). Marriage represents a
covenant involves at least the following
serious commitment that should not INTIMACY
five vital principles:
be entered into lightly or
(3) The intimacy of marriage: Marriage is the
unadvisedly. It involves a solemn most intimate of all human relationships, uniting a man
promise or pledge, not merely to and a woman in a “one-flesh” union (Genesis 2:23–
one’s marriage partner, but before 25). Marriage involves “leaving” one’s family of
God. Divorce is not permitted except origin and “being united” to one’s spouse, which
signifies the establishment of a new family unit
in a very limited number of biblically
distinct from the two originating families. While “one
prescribed circumstances (see flesh” suggests sexual intercourse and normally
Divorce below) procreation, at its very heart the concept entails the
establishment of a new kinship relationship between
two previously unrelated individuals (and families) by
the mo7st intimate of human bonds.
 MUTUALITY

(4) The mutuality of marriage: Marriage

is a relationship of free self-giving of one human
EXCLUSIVENESS
being to another (Ephesians 5:25–30). The
marriage partners are to be first and foremost (5) The exclusiveness of marriage:
concerned about the wellbeing of the other person Marriage is not only permanent, sacred,
and to be committed to each other in steadfast intimate, and mutual; it is also exclusive
love and devotion. This involves the need for (Genesis 2:22–25; 1 Corinthians
forgiveness and restoration of the relationship in 7:2–5). This means that no other human
the case of sin. Mutuality, however, does not relationship must interfere with the
mean sameness in role. Scripture is clear that marriage commitment between husband
wives are to submit to their husbands and to serve and wife. For this reason, Jesus treated
sexual immorality of a married person,
as their “suitable helpers,” while husbands are to
including even a husband’s lustful
bear the ultimate responsibility for the marriage
thoughts, with utmost seriousness
before God (Ephesians 5:22–24;
(Matthew 5:28; 19:9). For the same
Colossians 3:18; see also Genesis 2:18, reason, premarital sex is also illegitimate,
20). since it violates the exclusive claims of
one’s future spouse. As the Song of
Solomon makes clear, only in the secure
context of an exclusive marital bond can
Humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing free and complete giving of oneself in
with one another in love, eager to maintain the marriage take place.
8
unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” –
Ephesians 4:2-3(NIV) is one of the essential
ingredients of a Godly marriage
How Does Sin Affect Marriage and the Polygamy
Family?
The first shortcoming, polygamy—more specifically, polygamy, marrying multiple wives—
violates God’s instituted pattern of marital monogamy. While it was certainly within God’s
Knowing the divine ideal for marriage, and aware that
prerogative and power to make more than one wife for the man, God only made Eve. Yet within
marriage and the family are divine institutions, we are now six generations after the fall of humanity, barely after Adam had died, Lamech took two wives
able to move from God’s creation of man and woman and (Genesis 4:19). Later, prominent men in Israel’s history such as Abraham, Esau, Jacob, Gideon,
his institution of marriage to the Fall of humanity and its Elkanah, David, Solomon, and others engaged in polygamy. However, not only did polygamous
negative consequences on the marriage relationship. As a marriage fall short of God’s original design, it regularly resulted in disruptive favoritism, jealousy
between competing wives, and decline into idolatry.
study of biblical history shows, humanity’s rebellion
against the Creator’s purposes led to at least the following Divorce
six negative consequences:
The second compromise of God’s ideal for marriage was divorce, which disrupted the
(1) polygamy permanence of marriage. While divorce became so common that it had to be regulated in the
Mosaic code (Deuteronomy 24:1–4), the Bible makes clear that God hates divorce (Malachi
(2) divorce 2:16). Divorce is also used repeatedly as an analogy for spiritual apostasy (Isaiah 50:1;
Jeremiah 3:8)
(3) adultery

(4) homo sexuality

(5) sterility

(6) gender role confusion.

As mentioned, divorce is a result of the Fall of humanity. In the Old Testament,
Deuteronomy 24:1–4 regulates divorce in ancient Israel. In Jesus’ day, rabbinic schools
lined up behind two major interpretations of this passage. The conservative school of
Shammai allowed for divorce in cases of immodest behavior or sexual immorality. The
more moderate school of Hillel al-lowed divorce in any instance where a wife had done
something displeasing to her husband. It appears that this more permissive interpretation
held sway among most of Jesus’ contemporaries (see Matthew 19:3).
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1 Timothy 3:1-
The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of
overseer, he desires a noble task. Therefore an overseer must be
above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded,
self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a Former Vice President of Uganda Dr. Specioza
drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of Kazibwe divorced with his late husband on
money. He must manage his own household well, with all dignity September,10, 2004 over grounds of violence.
keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know
how to manage his own household, how will he care for God's
church?

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Adultery

A third shortcoming was adultery, the breaking of one’s marriage vows. The
Decalogue stipulates explicitly, “You shall not commit adultery” (Exodus
20:14; Deuteronomy 5:18). An egregious case of adultery was David’s
sin with Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11). In cases such as these, the principle of
marital fidelity to one’s marriage partner was compromised. The Book of
Proverbs calls adultery both foolish and dangerous (e.g. Proverbs 2:16–
19; 5:3–22; 6:32–33; 7:5–23; 9:13–18). In the Old Testament, adultery is
frequently used as an analogy to depict the spiritual unfaithfulness of God’s
people Israel (Jeremiah 3:8–9; Ezekiel 16:32, 38; Hosea 1:1–3:5).

Marriage should be honored by all, and

the marriage bed kept pure, for God will
judge the adulterer and all the sexually
immoral.

Hebrews 13.4

City pastor Aloysius Bugingo visits the parents of his new

woman, Suzan Makula, in a Kukyaala ceremony in
Kyebando, Kampala. Bugingo is still married to Teddy
Naluswa. Naluswa has vowed not to grant Bugingo a 11
divorce.
 Homosexuality

Homosexuality, fourth, marks another falling away from God’s creation purposes in that it violates the divine will for marriage to be between one man and
one woman. As Genesis 2:24 stipulates, “A man [masculine] shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife [feminine], and the two shall
become one flesh.” Heterosexuality is the only possible arrangement for marriage, as the Creator has commanded and expects married couples to “be fruitful
and multiply and fill the earth” (Genesis 1:28). Since homosexuality involves same-sex intercourse that cannot lead to procreation, it is unnatural and
cannot logically entail the possibility of marriage.

Homosexuality falls short in several critical ways. First, homo-sexual relationships fall short in the area of procreation, since they are by their very nature
not able to fulfill God’s creation mandate for humanity to be fruitful, multiply, and fill the earth.

Second, homosexuality also violates another cardinal underlying principle of God’s creation design for human relationships, namely that of complementarity.
The very fact that in some homosexual relationships one partner takes on a male and the other a female role (attested by two different Greek words for
homosexuality in the New Testament) provides indirect support for the complementarity inherent in the divine creation design.

In recent years, homosexual advocates have argued that the Bible, rightly interpreted, does not forbid homosexual relationships, only perverse expressions
of such. For example, they have argued that God’s judgment on Sodom on Gomorrah (Genesis 18:17–19:29) was merely for these cities’ inhospitality, not
for the sin of homosexuality. However, while Sodom and Gomorrah did in fact show a lack of hospitality.

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 Leviticus 18:22 and Leviticus 20:13

The Book of Leviticus in the Old Testament has two

references condemning homosexuality: "Do not lie
with a man as one lies with a woman; that is
detestable" (Leviticus 18:22) and "If a man lies with a
man as one lies with woman, both of them have
done what is detestable. They must be put to death;
their blood will be on their own heads" (Leviticus
20:13).

Anti-gay rights protesters in Uganda. On most of the

African continent, homosexuality is illegal.

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Sterility
Gender Confusion
A fifth shortcoming of God’s ideal for marriage is sterility, which falls
short of the fertility desired by the Creator. Fertility is implicit in the
biblical reference to the “one flesh” union. At times, lack of fertility is said Gender role confusion is a sixth and final result of humanity’s rebellion against the
in the Old Testament to be the result of personal sin (Genesis 20:17–18; Creator. Where God’s design for man and woman to be distinct yet complementary
2 Samuel 6:23), while on other occasions sterility is presented as a partners in procreation and stewardship of God’s earth is diluted, people will
inexorably be confused about what it means to be masculine or feminine, and the
simple fact of (fallen) nature (Genesis 11:30; 25:21; 30:1; 1 Samuel
lines between the two sexes made by God will increasingly be blurred.
1:2). However, God is often shown to answer prayers for fertility offered
by his people in faith (e.g. 1 Samuel 1:9–20).

Despite the above-mentioned ways in which God’s original design for marriage and
the family was compromised, however, the Bible in the Old Testament continues to
extol the virtues of the excellent wife (Proverbs 31:10–31) and to celebrate the
beauty of sex in marriage (Song of Solomon).

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 The Restoration of God’s Original Design for Marriage and the Family in Christ

The New Testament teaches that the restoration of God’s original design for marriage in Christ is part of God’s realignment of all things under Christ’s authority a lordship. In
the book of Ephesians, we read that it is God’s purpose “to bring all things in heaven and on earth together under one head, even Christ” (Ephesian 1:10, NIV). Thus marriage
is not an end in itself but part of God’s end-time restoration of all things in the person of Jesus Christ. Part of this restoration is that all evil powers are brought under control and
are submitted to the supreme authority of Christ (Ephesians 1:21–22). Later on in the same letter, Paul addresses the subject of marriage in general, and marital roles in
particular, within the larger context of believers needing to be filled with the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 5:18).

What is the biblical pattern for marriage? This is best seen in a close study of the pre-eminent passage on marital roles in the New Testament, Ephesians 5:21–33. In this
passage, instructions are given to both husbands and wives in form of a “house table,” which features commands given first to the person under authority followed by
instructions for the person in a position of authority. In keeping with this pattern, the passage addresses first wives, then husbands (Ephesians 5:22–33); first children, then
parents (Ephesians 6:1–4); and first slaves, and then masters (Ephesians 6:5–9; similar “house tables” are also foun in Colossians 3:18–4:1 and 1 Peter 2:11–3:7).

Wives, for their part, are called to submit to their own husbands, as to the Lord. As the church submits to Christ, so wives should to their husbands in everything (Ephesians
5:21–24). Husbands, in turn, are to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. They are to provide for their wives both physically and spiritually
and to cherish them as God’s special provision for them (Ephesians 5:25–30). As Christian husbands and wives live out these marital roles, God’s original creation design
for marriage will be fulfilled once again: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh” (Ephesians 5:31,
citing Genesis 2:24).

As mentioned, this pattern of headship and submission is placed within the larger context of Christ’s headship over all other powers, which Paul addressed at the beginning of
his letter to the Ephesians (see Ephesians 1:10, 20–23). Paul returns to this subject at the end of his epistle where he urges all Christians—includi husbands and wives,
parents and children—to put on the “whole armor of God” so they can stand against the devil (Ephesians 6:10; for the various pieces in th spiritual “armor,” see Ephesians
6:14–18). In this warfare, believers’ struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the evil supernatural (Ephesians 6:12). Armed with truth, righteousness, the gospel,
faith, salvation, and God’s word, they will be able to stand firm and resist the devil “in the evil day” (Ephesians 6:13 The reality of the power of Satan and his forces explains
at least in part why there is so much conflict in many marriages and families today. It also helps account for the widespread nature of divorce and the massive assault on
marriage as an institution in our contemporary culture. 15
 In the New Testament, a somewhat different picture emerges. Major
figures such as John the Baptist, Jesus, Paul, and Timothy were
unmarried. Jesus spoke favorably about “eunuchs for the sake of the
kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 19:12), and Paul even called celibacy
a “gift from God” (1 Corinthians 7:7). He further suggested that
married people’s interests were divided while the unmarried could
devote themselves wholly to the Lord (1 Corinthians 7:32–35).
What is more, Jesus taught that in the eternal state, there will be no
more marriage, but all will be “like angels in heaven” (Matthew
22:29–30).

Singleness Thus we see in the sweep of biblical history a trend from marriage as
the norm (with singleness being limited to exceptional cases), to a
place for example catholic church leaders like priests, bishops and
nuns .

We turn now to a discussion of singleness and the unmarried state. In Old Where the advantages and disadvantages of both marriage and
Testament times, single-ness was rare among individuals old enough to m singleness are affirmed (in Jesus and Paul), to a marriage-less state in
heaven where the only “marriage” will be that of Jesus, the heavenly
arry. Those unmarried were therefore limited to widows, eunuchs, those who bridegroom, to the church as his spiritual “bride.”
could not marry due to diseases such as leprosy or severe economic difficulties,
those who did not marry because of some type of divine call, those who had
under-gone a divorce, or unmarried young men and women. Thus marriage was
the overwhelming norm in Old Testament times, in keeping with the foundational
creation narrative in Genesis 1 and 2.

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The contemporary culture is in a deep crisis regarding marriage and
family today. While the crisis has important political, social, and
economic ramifications, in the ultimate analysis only a spiritual
return to the biblical foundations will address the root issue of the
current crisis. Marriage and the family were God’s idea, and as
divine institutions they are not open to human renegotiation or
revision. As we have seen, the Bible clearly teaches that God
instituted marriage as a covenant between one man and one
woman, a lifelong union of two partners created in God’s image to
govern and manage the earth for him. In keeping with his wonderful
design, the Creator will normally bless a married couple with
children, and it is his good plan that a family made up of a father, a
mother, and several children witness to his glory and goodness in
a world that has rejected the Creator’s plan and has fashioned a
variety of God-substitutes to fill the void that can properly be filled
only by God himself

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Responsibility, Honesty and Self Control in Marriage

Major marriage problems often are caused by irresponsible Bible teaching

conduct, especially regarding honesty, financial matters, and
uncontrolled temper. Proverbs 6:16-19 — There are 7 things God hates, and two of them involve lying and
deceit: “a lying tongue,” and “a false witness that tells lies.”
Husbands and Wives Must Tell the Truth and Keep Proverbs 30:8 — Remove far from me falsehood and lies. No servant of God wants a close
Their Promises. relationship with one who practices lying or deceit.

Revelation 21:8,27; 22:14,15 — All liars will have their part in the lake of fire outside the
holy city.

Ephesians 4:25 — Putting away lying, "Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor,"
for we are members of one another. In no relationship is this truer than in marriage.

Romans 1:29,32 – Deceit is a twin brother of lying. It involves deliberately attempting to

lead people to believe things that are not true. Those who practice it, and those who
approve of others who practice it, both are worthy of death.

Psalm 40:4 — Do not have respect for those who turn aside to lies. [John 8:44; Colossians
3:9; Psalm 24:3-5; 1 Peter 2:1,22; 3:10;

Matthew 15:18-20; Proverbs 19:22; Exodus 20:16; Acts 5:1-9]

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Applications

If we really understand this Bible teaching, why would we ever be dishonest with our marriage companion? Lying and deceit are always sinful. Why
should we practice them toward those whom God has commanded us to love?

Marriage is based on mutual trust. When you sneak and deceive your spouse to get your way, you destroy the foundation of marriage and you sin
against your spouse and against God.

And why would we marry anyone known to tell lies? If the person you are considering marrying lies to you or others, break off the relationship. A
person who lies can never be trusted.

And if he/she lies to other people, don’t think they won’t lie to you. He will lie to anyone, when he thinks it is to his advantage. You never know when
they are lying and when they are telling the truth. Why choose to live with that all your life?

Bible teaching

Hebrews 10:23 — God is faithful to His promises to us. This is just one of many characteristics God requires us to possess because it is a fundamental
characteristic He possesses.

Genesis 29:18-28 — Laban agreed to give Rachel to Jacob for his wife if he would work seven years. But when the time came, he gave Leah instead.
This is described as deceit (v25). Deceit characterized this whole family, and trouble repeatedly resulted. When a person can keep a promise but
knowingly refuses to do so, that is deceitful. [31:4-13, 38-53]

Numbers 30:1,2 — The Lord commanded if a man vows a vow to the Lord, or swears an oath to bind himself by some agreement, he shall not break his
word; he shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth. [Prov. 22:25]

James 5:12 — Do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or with any other oath. But let your “Yes,” be “Yes,” and your “No,” “No,” lest you fall into
judgment. [Matt. 5:33-37; 23:16-22; 2 Cor. 1:15-20]

The fact we don’t take oaths under the New Testament does not mean that keeping our word is less needed in the New Testament than in the Old 19
Testament; rather, it is more necessary. In the New Testament, giving your word is binding, like Old Testament oaths were binding.
Proverbs 31:11 The heart of her Galatians 5:22-23
husband trusts in her, and he will But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance,
have no lack of gain. kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
Against such things there is no law.

Colossians 3:19Husbands, love your wives and do not

be harsh with them.
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Husbands and Wives must Control their Anger.
When two people with different personalities, preferences and quirks Scripture is clear, “Do not avenge yourselves; instead, leave room for His
live together, they’re bound to become irritated or angry sometimes. wrath. For it is written: 'Vengeance belongs to me; I will repay,'
However, anger can be different in each marriage based on how it’s says the Lord” (Romans 12:19). God is fully capable of rendering justice
expressed and managed. People often learn to disguise their anger and to your spouse. You must allow Him to do His work.
deal with it through masking behaviors such as gritting their teeth. The
other extreme is allowing anger to escalate to flat-out rage.

Marriage provides plenty of motivation to learn about anger and how to

manage it effectively. Here are a few scenarios to consider:

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 Roles of Husband and Wife in Marriage

Traditionally and Biblically, the roles of husband and wife were

fairly well defined. God created men and women different and assigned
them different roles. Modern philosophies, however, pressure modern
families to believe these roles will not work in modern society. Indeed,
they may not work if we want to have the kind of families people in the
world have. But if our primary goal in marriage is to serve God, then we
will find the roles defined in the Bible are the only ones that will work!
Biblical roles require the following:

The Wife Must Submit to Her Husband, But He must Rule with Love

The Bible teaches wives to submit to their husbands.

Genesis 3:16 — God decreed that the man should rule over his wife.
This is neither the invention of men nor the product of evolution. It is a
decree of Almighty God.Ephesians 5:22-25 — The wife should submit The scripture states that the husband is the head of
to her husband as the church should submit to Christ. And, she must the wife as Christ is the head of the church. A good
submit in “everything.” She has no more right to pick and choose which husband loves his wife unconditionally and is a servant
leader just like Christ.
decisions she finds acceptable or reasonable, than the church does
regarding Jesus’ decisions. The only exception is if her husband tells
her to do something that would be sinful to do; then she “must obey
God rather than men” (Acts 5:29).
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 1 Peter 3:7Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live
with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker
Ephesians 5:22-33 Wives, submit
partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that
yourselves to your own husbands as you nothing will hinder your prayers.
do to the Lord

A Husband Must Provide For The Family

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THE BIBLICAL ROLES OF A HUSBAND AND WIFE.
● Ephesians 5:22-24 “Wives, submit to your own
husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the
wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the
Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is
subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands
in everything.”
● Genesis 3:16 “To the woman He said: “I will greatly
multiply your sorrow and your conception; In pain you
shall bring forth children; Your desire shall be for your
husband, And he shall rule over you.”
● Ephesians 5:25-27 “Husbands, love your wives, just as
Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26
that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of
water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself
a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such
thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.”

Colossians 3:19 Husbands, love your wives and do not

be harsh with them.

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Sexual Purity
The sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only God is very serious about sex being only within the confines
between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and of marriage. Any sex outside of marriage is considered to
wife. The Lord's standard regarding sexual purity is clear and be sinful. Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let
unchanging.........................................Do not have any the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually
sexual relations before marriage, and be completely immoral and adulterous.
faithful to your spouse after marriage.

Marriage was creaǦed by God and is a very good Ǧhing

1 Corinthians 6:19. Or do you not know that your body is a

temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from
God, and that you are not your own?

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 APPLICATIONS OF SEXUAL PURITY.
“Sanctification” (NASB) means “holiness.” To be holy is to be set apart from
this evil world unto God. Paul repeats the word three times in our text for Why is maintaining sexual purity so vital to the life of a Christian?
emphasis (verses 3, 4, & 7). In verse 7, Paul links sanctification with our Moral purity is not a devious plan to eliminate enjoyment from a
salvation: “For God has not called us for the purpose of impurity, but in Christian’s life, though Satan deceptively threatens such a loss.
Instead, purity is God’s infinitely wise foundation for true
sanctification.” God’s calling refers to His effectual call to salvation. He took
happiness and long-lasting family relationships.
the initiative to rescue us from His judgment and wrath by sending His own
The Assemblies of God Statement of Fundamental Truths has
Son to bear the penalty that we deserve. But now, having been bought by the
pronouncements about sanctification (separation from evil and
precious blood of Jesus, God commands us to be holy, even as He is holy (1 dedication to God) and “the alarming erosion of national moral
Pet. 1:14-16). standards” (worldliness). But we must turn directly to Scripture
for the Assemblies of God position on sexual purity.
The Bible uses “sanctification” or “sanctify” in three senses: First, there is
positional sanctification. Every believer is set apart in Christ (1 Cor. 1:2; 6:11;
Heb. 10:14). Second, there is progressive sanctification, the process by
which we become holy in all our behavior (1 Pet. 1:14-15). Third, someday we 26
all will achieve perfect sanctification, when Jesus returns and we will be like
Him, with all traces of sin removed (1 John 3:1-3).
 As society declines, those who have left God’s word will
grow worse and worse in their perversions of marriage and the
sexual relationship. But those who seek to truly be blessed in this
life and in eternity need to learn to appreciate and obey God’s
plan for marriage.

God has created many incredibly powerful forces. When

those forces are used improperly, they can do incredible harm.
When used properly, they can be incredible blessings. Nothing
destroys a relationship between a man and woman more totally
that sexual immorality. But proper affection in marriage makes
it the true blessing of companionship that only God can design.

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Solving Marriage Conflict
Every family has disagreemenǦs Trust in God
Romans 12:19
Rather than getting caught up in the usual conflict and When it comes to conflict resolution in marriage, however, God's
hurt feelings, try to imagine what tone you'd like the people are encouraged to let go of the impulse for revenge and to
conversation to take, and see if you can lead the turn the conflict over to God. Allow God to work on your spouse's
interaction in that direction with your own responses heart and allow Him to fight on your behalf.
at pivotal choice points.

No relationship between any two humans is perfectly free

of misunderstandings. We may even misunderstand
ourselves sometimes.

When people are brought up with ideas about “soulmates”

or “the love of your life” then they may be shocked and
perplexed the first time they have a misunderstanding with
someone they love. But misunderstandings don't mean
you're with the wrong person; what matters is how you
recover from the misunderstandings that will inevitably
occur in any relationship, married or not. 28
 How should couples resolve conflict in marriage?

Conflict is, essentially, part of human nature. After Adam sinned in the Garden,
conflict ensued. When God asked him if he had eaten of the forbidden tree, he did not
simply say, “Yes.” He said, “The woman you gave me, gave me the fruit and I did eat.”
He indirectly blamed God and directly blamed the woman. The woman then blamed
the serpent. When sin entered the world, so did conflict. In fact, God said that one of
the results of sin would be conflict between the man and the woman. The wife would
desire to control the husband and the husband would try to dominate the woman by
force (Gen 3:16).

Wife to Property show Host Edwin Musiime told the public on

her wedding on February 23rd, 2021 the great marriages are
Therefore, as James taught (James 1:2) and Paul taught (Rom 5:3), we should
not conflict free but communication matters a lot.
encounter marital conflict (and all trials) with joyful expectation, not because we
enjoy suffering, but because we know God’s purposes in it. We worship a God who
took the worst sin that ever happened in the world, the murder of his Son, and made
it the best thing. It is for this reason that we can have a joyful expectation, even in
conflict. This isn’t a denial of pain. It is both recognition of pain and a future hope. It
is like a mother giving birth. Even in the midst of pain, there is a joyful expectation.
Many couples, who have gone through very difficult conflict, developed some of the

strongest marriages—marriages used to counsel and repair others. 29

 Respect Bible Authority.
Follow Bible teaching instead of
feelings, human wisdom, etc.
Proverbs 3:5,6 — Trust in the Lord and
let Him guide your path. Don’t lean
on your own human understanding.
Too often troubled couples seek
sources of guidance outside the Bible.
Some folks follow psychologists,
marriage counselors, advice of friends,
etc. Sometimes such sources may help
if their advice agrees with Scripture.
But they usually offer human wisdom
instead of Scripture.
Other couples are guided by feelings.
People get divorced saying, “I just don’t
feel anything for her (or him) anymore.”
But no amount of feelings can change
what God’s word says. Proverbs 3:5,6 — Trust in the Lord and let Him
guide your path

● Hatred, bitter quarreling, and alienation in our

homes mean that someone is disobeying God.
● If your spouse will not work to improve the
marriage, this does not remove your
responsibility to do what you can.

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Act in Love
Ephesians 5:22-22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands
as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as
Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should
submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and
gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by
the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to
himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other
blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands
ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his
wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body,
but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church
Comedian Pablo celebrates ten years in marriage with
— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man
wife on September 7, 2020
will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the
two will become one flesh.”[b] 32 This is a profound mystery—but
I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of Love Is a Choice of the Will.
you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must
Love Must Be Expressed in Words and in Deed.
respect her husband.

Love Requires Giving and Self-sacrifice.

A basic requirement in solving family disagreements

is a willingness to give of ourselves for the good of
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others.
 Be Reconciled

The goal is, not just to talk endlessly nor simply to vent frustrations, but
● Start by examining yourself.
to resolve the problem. You should seek to determine a plan of action
● Recognize your errors and
whereby the problem ceases to alienate you. This involves several humbly determine to change.
principles. ● Pray for Forgiveness.
Compromise or Overlook Differences of Viewpoint, Where Possible. ● Forgive One Another.

Scriptures
1 Corinthians 13:4,5 — Love suffers long and is kind. Love is not selfish.

Ephesians 4:2,3 – We should be longsuffering and bear with one

another. Every couple will find in one another characteristics that we
would like to change; but either they cannot be changed, or it is not
worth the trouble it would cause to try to change them. Sin must not be
overlooked, but if there is no sin and the person does things we just don’t
like, then love will not push personal desires to the point of alienation.
Learn to overlook these matters without bitterness.

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 Ephesians 4:32, the Bible says to be kind to one
another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as
God in Christ forgave you. From that scripture on
forgiveness, the Bible just uses Christ as a reference
in mercy. In marriage, we should aim at being
kind-hearted to partners that have wronged us

The Bible just uses Christ as a reference in mercy. In marriage, we should aim at being

kind-hearted to partners that have wronged us. We should focus on forgiving their mistakes.

Andrew Kabura and wife, Flavia Tumusiime celebrating

their third anniversary at Elephant plains Lodge. It is Additionally, forgiveness in marriage allows for God’s intervention in helping to solve the issue
important to act in love as a couple and have time off
and re-strategize and build marriage. at hand.

It prevents the urge for revenge among couples, stipulated well in Romans 12:19-21.

Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written,
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“Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”
 Raising Godly Children

Proverbs 22:6 — Train up a child in the way he should go, When you participated in the act that produces children –
and when he is old he will not depart from it. Despite the even if you did not intend to conceive, nevertheless, if you chose
pressures that surround your family, by following God’s word
you can raise children who serve God faithfully. to participate in the reproductive act - then you are responsible
for any child that results. Your children did not ask to come here.
You brought them here. Now it’s your job to take care of them.
Bible principles about child rising are so critical that we will
refer to them as the “keys” to success. We will consider them The government did not bring your child into this world. You
under seven headings. So, “Seven Keys to Raising Godly
did. So, don’t expect the government to raise your child.
Children.”
Likewise, for the church, the schools, the day -care center, and
your parents or relatives – none of them brought your children
into this world. You brought them here; now you take care of
Note: I do not claim perfection or expertise. I made many them. Caring for them properly must be your goal.
mistakes. Fortunately, my children have overcome most of them,
and I hope they will be better parents than I was. Perhaps you
can benefit from my mistakes. In any case, the standard to which
we will appeal as our ultimate authority is God’s word.

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 God Holds You Responsible for Raising Your Children.

Titus 2:4 – Young women should be taught to love their children. Love requires caring for them, not deserting or neglecting them. This is
something that can and must be learned. Women who do not learn it will cause God’s word to be blasphemed (v5).

Ephesians 6:4 – Fathers are commanded to bring their children up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. You cannot leave this up to
others, including your wife (though, of course, she is responsible too). You are responsible. You have no right to shirk this duty or try to shift it to
others.

Genesis 18:19 – God approved of Abraham, because he commanded his children to keep the way of the Lord. He did not leave this duty up
to others.

1 Samuel 3:12-14 — On the other hand, when Eli’s sons became corrupt, God held Eli accountable. God rebuked Eli, not the schools or the
government or even just Eli’s wife.

Parents, you must accept the goal of raising your children properly and must diligently work toward that goal. You must not leave this to
others.

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CONCLUSION
The biblical view of marriage is of a God- Marriage was first instituted by God in the order of
given, voluntary, sexual and public social creation, given by God as an unchangeable
foundation for human life. Marriage exists so that
union of one man and one woman, from through it humanity can serve God through
different families, for the purpose of children, through faithful intimacy, and through
properly ordered sexual relationships. This union is
serving God. patterned upon the union of God with his people
who are his bride, Christ with his church. Within
marriage, husbands are to exercise a role of
Self-sacrificial headship and wives a posture of
godly submission to their husbands. This institution
points us to our hope of Christ returning to claim
his bride, making marriage a living picture of the
gospel of grace.

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