CBT

Cognitive
Behavioral
Therapy

How to Overcome
Negative Thoughts

By David Tolin
Multi-award winning CBT expert and author of ‘Doing CBT’

Practical Tips and Insights for Mental Health Practitioners

 Becoming Aware of
Negative Thoughts
As conscious beings, humans are always interpreting the world
around them and trying to make sense of what is happening.
Sometimes the brain takes shortcuts and generates results that are
not completely accurate. While everyone has negative thoughts
sometimes, it’s when they become repetitive that they can start to
cause trouble.

Left unchecked, negative thoughts can increase emotional distress

and fuel anxiety, depression and other psychological problems. While
they might feel like they are true and unchangeable, they are just one
way of responding to a situation.

© Dr. David Tolin, 2023 Psychwire.com/cbt 2

 Negative thoughts may sound like:

I’m not good enough. It’s too hard.

I’m dumb.

Things never go my way. I can’t do it.

I’m lazy.

People can’t be trusted. No one likes me.

I’m fat and ugly.

The world is a dangerous place. It’s all my fault.

I’m a failure.

I’ll never be able to do it. No-one understands me.

I’m weak.

What if something terrible happens? Life is so unfair.

I’m unlovable.

© Dr. David Tolin, 2023 Psychwire.com/cbt 3

 Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) helps people become aware of
their negative thoughts. By doing so, they can begin to look at their
thoughts more objectively, understand how those thoughts might
be making them feel and behave, consider a more adaptive way of
thinking, or change their response to the thoughts.

Common Unhelpful
Thinking Patterns
When negative thoughts become constant, they develop into
unhelpful thinking patterns. When this happens, thoughts become
biased and prone to seeing the negative in situations. Having the same
type of cognitive distortion repeatedly can negatively affect a person’s
emotions and behaviors.

Below are the most common types of unhelpful thinking patterns:

Click here to download the printer-friendly pdf version.

1 All-or-nothing thinking
Believing that something or someone can only be good or bad,
or right or wrong, rather than anything in between. This is also
known as overgeneralizing.

Example:

I didn’t get top marks on my assignment, so I’m a failure.

© Dr. David Tolin, 2023 Psychwire.com/cbt 4

 2 Catastrophizing
Imagining and believing that the worst possible thing will happen.

Example:

Oh no, that’s my boss calling. I’m probably

getting fired for doing something wrong.

3 Personalizing

Concluding without factual evidence that what happened was

your fault even when you were not responsible, or relating
external events to oneself when there is no basis for making
such a connection.

Example:

If I had stayed up all night, I could have

made sure my friend didn’t sleep through
her alarm and miss her exam.

4 Magnifying

Blowing something out of proportion.

Example:

My husband didn’t thank me for

washing his work shirts. He obviously
doesn’t appreciate me.

© Dr. David Tolin, 2023 Psychwire.com/cbt 5

 5 Minimizing

Inappropriately reframing events to make them seem less

important.

Example:

I was praised at work today for saving

some important documents, but it’s no
big deal, anyone could have done it.

6. Mental filter
Focusing on one detail, often taken out of context, and ignoring
other more important parts of an experience.

Example:

Sure, my friend invited me along on the

group camping trip, but she didn’t ask me
first, so she must not really want me there.

7 Jumping to conclusions
Drawing negative conclusions without sufficient information,
often due to mind reading (imagining what someone is thinking),
fortune-telling (predicting bad things will happen) or labeling
(making global judgments about oneself or others).

Example:

I didn’t get the job. The interviewer must’ve thought

I was stupid. I’ll never find work. I’m pathetic.

© Dr. David Tolin, 2023 Psychwire.com/cbt 6

 Thought Monitor
In CBT, a Thought Monitor is used to help people become aware of
their negative thoughts. It also helps therapists determine the types
of thoughts a client is having so they can choose the best approach
for treatment.

A Thought Monitor involves filling out a simple worksheet when you

are feeling distressed. It includes listing the activating/triggering
event, your beliefs and thoughts, your feelings and emotions, and your
behavioral response.

An individual might fill out each section on the worksheet as follows:

Activating Beliefs and Feelings and Behavioral

Event Thoughts Emotions Response

I’m a failure. I stayed at home

Job I feel horrible instead of going
I’ll never sad, angry
rejection. out with my
get hired. and tired. friends.

Because people are often unaware of the role their thoughts have on
their emotional experiences, it can be empowering to discover that if
they can change their thinking or how they respond to their thoughts,
they can change how they feel.

© Dr. David Tolin, 2023 Psychwire.com/cbt 7

 Strategies to Overcome
Negative Thoughts
Once a CBT therapist has helped a client to identify their negative
thoughts using a Thought Monitor, it’s time to begin the process
of cognitive restructuring. Although there are many approaches to
cognitive restructuring that CBT therapists can use with their clients,
three of the most common approaches include:

1 Examining the Evidence

2 Considering the Alternatives

3 Conducting Behavioral Experiments

Let’s take a look at these strategies.

© Dr. David Tolin, 2023 Psychwire.com/cbt 8

 Examining the Evidence
Examining the evidence for and against a negative thought involves
questioning its validity and exploring its usefulness. This approach
is most useful for changing negative thoughts that aren’t based on
truth. By asking “What is the evidence this thought is true, and
what is the evidence it’s not true,” individuals can begin to recognize
that their negative thought may be incorrect, and come to a more
accurate and less emotionally charged view.

Consider the following example:

THOUGHT

I’m a loser and I’ll never find a job.

EVIDENCE FOR EVIDENCE AGAINST

I didn’t get the job. I’ve been offered

jobs in the past.
I get nervous
in interviews. I got to the interview
stage and answered
most of the questions
despite feeling nervous.
They said it was a
difficult decision.
I might get the next job.

NEW THOUGHT

I’m actually capable of getting a good job.

© Dr. David Tolin, 2023 Psychwire.com/cbt 9

 Considering the Alternatives
Not all negative thoughts are completely untrue. By asking “What are
some different ways to think about this situation?”, CBT therapists
can help their clients explore new ways of thinking that are more
realistic and/or helpful and less distressing.

It’s important to understand this isn’t about replacing negative

thoughts with positive thoughts or forcing an individual to see things
differently. This rarely works. It’s about therapists collaborating with
their clients to help them generate new thoughts that feel believable,
true and healthy.

Other questions that can help generate alternative thoughts include:

Is thinking this way helpful?

Who is someone you love or respect?

What would they think about this situation?

What would you say to your best friend if

they were going through the same thing?

What would you say to a child/teenager

having a similar experience?

© Dr. David Tolin, 2023 Psychwire.com/cbt 10

 Consider the following example:

THOUGHT

All my relationships have failed.

I’ll always be alone.

ALTERNATIVE THOUGHTS

I’ve learned a lot from my past relationships

and will use those experiences to make my
future relationships even better.
I have fulfilling relationships in my life, such as
with friends and family, and I can find love again.

There are lots of people in the world who are

looking for love. I have the ability to meet
someone who will be a great match for me.
Just because my past relationships didn’t work out
doesn’t mean my future relationships are doomed
to fail. Each relationship is unique, and I have
the power to create a happy and fulfilling one.

Once the alternative thought has been identified, it can be reinforced

by doing a cost-benefit analysis. This involves reviewing what the
individual gains and what they lose by thinking the negative thought
versus the alternative thought.

© Dr. David Tolin, 2023 Psychwire.com/cbt 11

 Coping cards can also help people practice alternative thinking
outside of therapy sessions. Coping cards typically have a negative
thought written on one side and a healthy alternative on the other.
They can be carried or photographed and stored on a phone for quick
and easy access.

THOUGHT
N E G A T IV E
A LT E R N A
T IV E T H O
UGH T

None of my
k, Each relati
relationships wor onship is
e a lo n e. unique and te
I’ll a lw a y s b aches me
more about wh
at I want.

Conducting Behavioral
Experiments
Some of our negative thoughts have an “if-then” quality. In CBT, we
help the client recognize that these thoughts are hypotheses, not
facts. That is, the client is making a guess about what’s going to
happen. And like any hypothesis, that thought can be tested with
an experiment.

© Dr. David Tolin, 2023 Psychwire.com/cbt 12

 Consider the following example:

Hypothesis

If I go to the party, then no one will like me no matter what I do.

Experiment
Go to the party and interact with others. Pay careful attention to how
people respond to you. Do they smile or frown? Speak to you or ignore
you? Welcome you or ask you to leave? Link your observation back to
your hypothesis.

Conclusion

I went to the party and some people were actually pretty friendly.

Here’s another one:

Hypothesis

If I turn in this assignment, then I’m going to get a failing grade.

Experiment
Turn in the assignment, doing the best you can. Notice what kind of
grade you get and link your observation back to your hypothesis.

Conclusion

If I work hard, I can actually earn an OK grade.

© Dr. David Tolin, 2023 Psychwire.com/cbt 13

 Acceptance
In recent years, CBT therapists have started using Acceptance as
another approach to help overcome negative thoughts. Instead of
trying to alter the content of a thought (for example, by examining
the evidence, considering the alternatives, or conducting a behavioral
experiment), acceptance involves altering an individual’s reaction to
the thought.

Mindfulness plays a key role in helping people make peace with their
thoughts, rather than letting those thoughts control their emotional,
cognitive or behavioral responses. It focuses on bringing awareness to
the present moment without judgment.

In this way, individuals can bring their attention to their thoughts,

experience them without labeling, resisting or reacting to them, and
ultimately redirect their attention to a healthy activity.

© Dr. David Tolin, 2023 Psychwire.com/cbt 14

 Consider the following example:

Thought

I’m not good enough.

This is a common negative thought that many people struggle with,

especially when facing challenging situations or pursuing their goals.
Instead of trying to suppress or dismiss this thought, one could learn
to accept it as a natural part of the human experience, recognize that
it’s “just a thought,” and let it go.

Accepting negative thoughts doesn’t mean resigning oneself to a

negative mindset. It means learning to acknowledge and respond to
them in a way that allows individuals to feel a sense of control over
their lives.

Acceptance Exercise: Thought Clouds

Find a quiet place to sit or lie down and close your eyes for five
minutes. Bring your awareness to your thoughts. Imagine them
floating across your mind from left to right like clouds in the sky.
Try not to judge, label or attach meaning to them. If you do, let that
thought float by too. At the end of the five minutes, ask yourself the
following questions:

1 What was my emotional response to my thoughts?

2 Was the exercise easy or hard? Why?

3 How do I feel now?

© Dr. David Tolin, 2023 Psychwire.com/cbt 15

 A Final Word
With time and practice, people can learn how to overcome their
negative thoughts to live healthier, happier lives. Remember the
following steps that CBT therapists can use to guide their clients
through the process:

Overcoming Negative Thoughts

1 2
Complete the Identify Unhelpful
Thought Monitor Thinking Patterns

3 4
Congitive Restructuring Acceptance

Examine the Evidence

Consider the Alternatives
Conduct a Behavioral Experiment

© Dr. David Tolin, 2023 Psychwire.com/cbt 16

 About David Tolin
A multi-award-winning CBT expert,
Dr David Tolin is the founder and
director of the Anxiety Disorders
Center at the Institute of Living in
Connecticut. He is an adjunct professor
of psychiatry at Yale University’s School
of Medicine and the author of the
acclaimed title, Doing CBT.

Additional Resources

Introduction Thoughts, Negative Thinking:

Emotions and Behaviors Reattribution
David Tolin CBT for Depression - Week 4

Therapy Demonstration: Behavioral Experiments:

Acceptance Panic and Agoraphobia
CBT for Anxiety Disorders - Week 3 CBT for Anxiety Disorders - Week 5

WATCH MORE VIDEOS

© Dr. David Tolin, 2023 Psychwire.com/cbt 17
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© Dr. David Tolin, 2023 Psychwire.com/cbt 18