Premarital Counsel

from the Bible

 Biblical Premarital Counsel

“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his

mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they
shall be one flesh” (Gen 2:24).

In an age of rampant promiscuity and immorality,

young people ought to “take heed to themselves,
lest in the slippery period of their age, the lust
of the flesh should impel them to many crimes.
For, at this age, greater licence everywhere
prevails, so that no moderation restrains
youths from shameful conduct.” (John Calvin).
There is much ignorance, confusion, and
rebellion against God’s good institution of
marriage today. As such it will be good for
all wedding couples and all who intend to
marry to get ready for the big day by paying
attention to the doctrine of marriage as taught
in the Bible.

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Divine Institution of Marriage

There is a real need today to return to God’s

original intention and purpose for marriage
and restore the sanctity of marriage. This
is because sin has brought a great deal of
distortion and destruction to male-female
relationships and the marriage institution.
There is rampant lasciviousness and promis-
cuity today. Pornography is just a click away.
Premarital intercourse, cohabitation, abortions,
divorces, sexual crimes etc. are on the rise.

The Bible commands, “Flee also youthful lusts:

but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace,
with them that call on the Lord out of a pure
heart” (2 Tim 2:22). Young people have to
beware of sexual lusts and all forms of sinful
desires. Those already married should
heed this warning as well, “Marriage is
honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but
whoremongers and adulterers God will judge”
(Heb 13:4). So first things first: What is marriage?

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A Covenant Relationship

Marriage is a sacred institution created by

God (Gen 1:26–29). God created the man and
the woman together. Man was made from the
dust of the earth and the woman from man’s
rib (Gen 2:20). “And the Lord God formed man
of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his
nostrils the breath of life; and man became a
living soul. … And the Lord God caused a deep
sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he
took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh
instead thereof; And the rib, which the Lord God
had taken from man, made he a woman, and
brought her unto the man” (Gen 2:7, 21–22).
Note that it was God who brought the woman
to the man. It was something good.

God is Matchmaker and Marriage Counsellor.

As such, He must always be in the picture in a
marriage relationship. Marriage is thus not a
bilateral but a trilateral relationship. Three
is not a crowd when God is the third. “Again,
if two lie together, then they have heat: but how

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can one be warm alone? And if one prevail against
him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold
cord is not quickly broken” (Eccl 4:11–12). The
problem today is that God is taken out of
the picture. A breakdown in marriage is usually
due to a breakdown in one’s personal walk
with God.

Calvin said that marriage “is a covenant

consecrated by God.” Malachi 2:14 speaks of
marriage as a covenant: “Yet ye say, Wherefore?
Because the Lord hath been witness between
thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom
thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy
companion, and the wife of thy covenant.”
What then is a marriage covenant? A marriage
covenant is a solemn agreement before God
between a man and woman to be each other’s
loyal and loving companions for life. A covenant
has rules. These rules are set by God. If we want
a blissful marriage and be blessed in our
marriage we must play by God’s rules. A
marriage breaks down when we break the
covenant by violating His rules.

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God’s rules are found in His Word. All courting
couples as well as married couples should be
studying the Bible constantly and together.
Here is wisdom: “Wherewithal shall a young
man cleanse his way? by taking heed thereto
according to thy word. With my whole heart
have I sought thee: O let me not wander from
thy commandments. Thy word have I hid in
mine heart, that I might not sin against thee”
(Ps 119:9–11). “Thou shalt keep therefore his
statutes, and his commandments, which I
command thee this day, that it may go well
with thee, and with thy children after thee, and
that thou mayest prolong thy days upon the
earth, which the Lord thy God giveth thee, for
ever” (Deut 4:40).

For Companionship

In Genesis 2:18–25, we find God creating marriage.

In the Garden of Eden, God saw that it was
not good for man to be alone. “And the Lord
God said, It is not good that the man should be
alone; I will make him an help meet for him.”

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 (Gen 2:18). So He made for Adam a helper—a
companion—a wife. He beautifully designed
and carefully made a woman, and presented
her to him (Gen 2:22). A perfect fit!

Woman was created to be man’s helpmeet,

i.e., a helper suitable for him but not inferior
to him. Both men and women are created
equally valuable by God. Although they are
equal as human beings, they each have their
respective and distinctive roles. The man has
his God-given role as leader and head of the
household; the woman was made to help the
man to fulfil this role. Ephesians 5:22–33 says,
“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own hus-
bands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is
the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of
the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so
let the wives be to their own husbands in every
thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ
also loved the church, and gave himself for it …
So ought men to love their wives as their own
bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

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For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but
nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord
the church … Nevertheless let every one of you in
particular so love his wife even as himself; and
the wife see that she reverence her husband.”
Such a spiritual and harmonious partnership
will result in great productivity. Indeed, one
will chase a thousand, and two will put ten
thousand to flight (Deut 32:30).

However, when the God-given pattern for

family unity and harmony is turned upside
down—when the woman wears the pants and
the man dons the skirt—confusion and chaos
in the family arise. When male and female
roles are distorted or reversed, you will
find broken marriages, broken families,
and broken societies. Marriage is not a
necessary evil, but a necessary good within
God’s ordained plan and purpose. Society is
only as strong as the marriage/family bond.
But pornography, adultery, polygamy,
homosexuality etc. will destroy marriage and
family and bring about society’s downfall.

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 For Procreation

“So God created man in his own image, in the

image of God created he him; male and female
created he them. And God blessed them, and God
said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and
replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have
dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the
fowl of the air, and over every living thing that
moveth upon the earth” (Gen 1:27–28).

Newly-weds, when they are married, leave their

parents to set up a new family unit. “Therefore
shall a man leave his father and his mother, and
shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one
flesh” (Gen 2:24). This is not an abandonment
of parents, but rather the establishment of a
new family which comprises father, mother
and children. Persons who marry should be
interested in children, and should plan to have
children. “Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord:
and the fruit of the womb is his reward” (Ps 127:3).

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 A Lifelong Commitment

“But from the beginning of the creation God made

them male and female. For this cause shall a
man leave his father and mother, and cleave to
his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so
then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What
therefore God hath joined together, let not man
put asunder” (Mark 10:6–9). The word “cleave”
(Gen 2:24, Mark 10:7) in the original is a very
strong word for joining or binding. It has the
idea of soldering two metal pieces together to
form one piece. It is a permanent fixture.

This tells us that marriage is supposed to be a

lifelong union and lifetime commitment. Hence
the vow, “till death us do part”. Divorce should
never be an option for the Christian; it should
never be in the Christian’s vocabulary. Married
life may not be easy, and staying married may
be difficult, but God says He is there to help.
Jesus tells us, “With men this is impossible; but
with God all things are possible” (Matt 19:26).
When the husband and his wife grow more and

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 more like Christ as they live together, their
marriage would become sweeter and sweeter.
God makes it possible. It is no wonder that the
great German reformer Martin Luther said,
“The life of a married couple, if they are in the
faith, deserves to be rated higher than those
who are famous for miracles.” Indeed, a blessed
and successful marriage is better than miracles.

A Heterosexual Monogamy

Genesis 1:27 tells us that God created man

“male and female”. Take note that it is between
a man and a woman, and take note of the
singular—one man and one woman. Only one
Eve was made for Adam, not many. Thus, a
marriage should be monogamous. Also, it
should only be between a male and a female.
Homosexual relationships are an abomination
to God: “Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with
womankind: it is abomination” (Lev 18:22, see
also Gen 19:1–24; Rom 1:23–24).

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Yes to Courtship

Traditionally, parents were deeply involved in

finding a spouse for their children. Abraham
for example initiated the search for Isaac’s wife
and did so according to God’s will and covenant
that he would have many children (Gen 15:4–5).

There is wisdom in parental involvement.

Calvin said, “Wherefore the wantonness of
youths is to be restrained, that they may not
rashly contract nuptials without consulting
their fathers.” In the past, children were happy
to have their parents involved. Now, this is
not about prearranged or forced marriages,
but marriages where parental counsel is sought
and children’s consent obtained. There is this
mutual trust between parents and children.
This good relationship and interaction is
premised upon God’s command for children
to honour their parents and to heed their
wisdom. Proverbs 1:8–9 says, “My son, hear
the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the
law of thy mother: For they shall be an ornament

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of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck.”
When parents are loving and careful guardians
of their daughters, suitors will come with
honourable intentions.

Know that matchmaking and courtship was

instituted at the beginning when God made
for Adam a wife and then brought her to him.
Even now, God is involved in bringing a man
and a woman together in holy matrimony.
God is the perfect Matchmaker for sure and
one can never go wrong when the believer seeks
God’s will and wisdom in finding a spouse.

Now, biblical courtship should not be confused

with pagan matchmaking where marriage is
forced upon children based on the superstitious
or unilateral decisions of parents. Parents
should be involved in their children’s marriage
but they should not force their children into
marriage. On forced marriages, Calvin rightly
said, “Let no father compel his children to such
a marriage as seems good to him except with
their good will and consent.” Parents must

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know that although it is their office “to settle
their daughters in life, they are not permitted
to exercise tyrannical power and assign them
to whatever husbands they think fit without
consulting them.” Children likewise should
be mindful of their parents and not make
independent decisions without consulting them.
There should be mutual regard.

It ought to be emphasised that only believers

should be sought for a spouse. The very first
criterion is that the other party must be truly
born again, just as Abraham declared that
Isaac’s wife must not be a Canaanite but a
believer of the same faith (Gen 24:3–4). Calvin
warned against starting a close relationship
with an unbeliever, “but if we approach nearer,
so that a greater intimacy should arise, we
open the door as it were to Satan… Those,
therefore, who mix with idolaters, knowingly
and wilfully devote themselves to idols.”

Finally, in determining who is to be one’s

spouse, according to God’s specific will, the

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Co-operative Will of God comes into play. In
the case of Isaac and Rebekah, the servant’s
prayer for a sign (Gen 24:12–14) was answered
immediately (Gen 24:15). God is very pleased
to co-operate with His children when they
pray and He can answer them immediately
especially when they are in crucial situations
and need His help.

No to Dating

Dating is a 20th century invention and phe-

nomenon. It comes from the modern age of
rebellion against authority. Young people
want to be free from parental supervision,
free to sow their wild oats. They want to
experiment with sex and to experience sex
with as many partners as they can in their
quest for a suitable mate. They think that good
sex equals good spouse. It is utterly selfish
and carnal, dangerous and destructive.

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God’s Word, Not World’s Way

It is important for men and women to know

how to conduct themselves in courtship so as to
maintain a healthy relationship. 1 Thessalonians
4:3–4 says, “For this is the will of God, even your
sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornica-
tion: That every one of you should know how to
possess his vessel in sanctification and honour.”

In a courtship, one should conduct himself

or herself in a chaste manner. Motives in a
courtship must be pure and kept pure. The
motive is not to exploit each other’s body but
to edify each other’s life. A healthy courtship
is one that causes the couple to grow in faith,
not in lust. It is a time when two believers
seek God’s will and direction for their lives.
Proverbs 3:5–8 says, “Trust in the Lord with all
thine heart; and lean not unto thine own under-
standing. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and
he shall direct thy paths. Be not wise in thine own
eyes: fear the Lord, and depart from evil. It shall
be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones.”

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Abstain from Fornication

Fornication comes from the Greek word porne.

That is where we get the word “pornography”.
Fornication refers to all kinds of immoral
sexual behaviour, and pornography stirs up
all kinds of perverse sexual desires. Since we
are living in a pornographic age, it is vital we
heed the commands of 2 Timothy 2:20–22
which says, “But in a great house there are not
only vessels of gold and of silver, but also of wood
and of earth; and some to honour, and some to
dishonour. If a man therefore purge himself from
these, he shall be a vessel unto honour, sanctified,
and meet for the master’s use, and prepared unto
every good work. Flee also youthful lusts: but
follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with
them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.”

Courting couples should keep their bodies pure

and chaste. They should not play husband and
wife before they are properly married and
should avoid all forms of sexual immorality.
Note the command to “flee … youthful lusts”.

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The command to “flee” does not mean a one-
time fleeing but a continual fleeing from sin
and temptation. It is like the metal and the
magnet. The further the magnet is away from
the metal, the lesser its power to attract it. We
need to stay clear and keep far away from such
immorality so that we might be clean vessels
fit for God’s use. Courting couples should
avoid any physical contact that stirs lustful
thoughts and feelings. They should pursue
after godliness, which is “righteousness, faith,
charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord
out of a pure heart.”

Obtain Sanctification

Sanctification comes from the Greek word

hagiazo which means “to make holy”. It is the
process by which a believer becomes more and
more like Christ. It is the constant pursuit
of personal holiness and moral perfection.
Courting couples should aim towards spiritual
maturity and Christlikeness, and that means
their courtship should be conducted in a godly

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and honourable way that glorifies God.

1 Thessalonians 4:4 says that the man “should

know how to possess his vessel in sanctification
and honour.” The “vessel” here refers to the
woman (cf. 1 Pet 3:7). The man must have
honourable intentions when courting a lady.
He should not do so in such a way as to defile,
pollute or contaminate her. The man must treat
a woman gently and gentlemanly. There should
be godly behaviour and proper conduct in a
courtship. The man ought to excise all lustful
desires and exercise great care in preserving
chastity. The woman on the other hand should
present herself not as a sex object to be exploited,
but a chaste treasure to be protected. Be careful
how you dress.

Holy Word, Not Hollywood

Traditional courtship which is parent-centred

is today replaced by the try-your-luck, score-
your-points “dating game”. “Dating” is all
about the world and not the Word. 1 John

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2:15–17 warns, “Love not the world, neither the
things that are in the world. If any man love the
world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all
that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the
lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the
Father, but is of the world. And the world passeth
away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the
will of God abideth for ever.”

The way of the world is all about “the lust of

concupiscence [i.e., inordinate sexual desires],
even as the Gentiles which know not God” (1 Thess
4:5). It is about polluting and not protecting
the fairer sex. 1 Thessalonians 4:6 warns, “That
no man go beyond and defraud his brother in any
matter: because that the Lord is the avenger of all
such, as we also have forewarned you and testified.”
To defraud is to steal, to take away something
that belongs to another. In this case, it defrauds
a father of giving away a virgin daughter, and
her future husband is defrauded of a virgin
bride. The godly ideal and divine standard is
for the bride to be presented as a chaste virgin
(cf. 2 Cor 11:2). Contrary to God’s way, the way

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of the world as presented by Hollywood is both
exploitative and corruptive. It is the way of the
thief and robber.

Believers should marry believers and not

unbelievers. 2 Corinthians 6:14 commands, “Be
ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers:
for what fellowship hath righteousness with un-
righteousness? and what communion hath light
with darkness?” There is nothing spiritually in
common between a Christian and an unbeliever.
In Deuteronomy 7:4, God forbade the Israelites
from marrying the Canaanites, “For they will
turn away thy son from following me, that they
may serve other gods: so will the anger of the
Lord be kindled against you, and destroy thee
suddenly.” The unequal yoke will result in a
backsliding, or even a falling away from the faith.

Danger of Unequal Yoke

The tragedy of Solomon’s marriages is a case

in point: “But king Solomon loved many strange
women, … And he had seven hundred wives,

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 princesses, and three hundred concubines: and
his wives turned away his heart.... And the Lord
was angry with Solomon” (1 Kgs 11:1–9). God
split his kingdom because of his sin.

Another bad example was Ahab who married

a very good looking but a most wicked woman
in Jezebel (1 Kgs 16:31): “And it came to pass, as
if it had been a light thing for him to walk in the
sins of Jeroboam the son of Nebat, that he took
to wife Jezebel the daughter of Ethbaal king of
the Zidonians, and went and served Baal, and
worshipped him.” At the end, it was said of Ahab,
“But there was none like unto Ahab, which did sell
himself to work wickedness in the sight of the Lord,
whom Jezebel his wife stirred up” (1 Kgs 21:25).
God was blasphemed and good people died
because of his unequal yoke. It is dangerous to
be unequally yoked.

Beware the Beauty and the Beast

The sin of the unequal yoke is both great and

grave. It destroys faith and invites the judgement

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 of God. So, when you choose a spouse, make
sure he or she is a believer. 1 Corinthians 7:39
speaks of marriage “only in the Lord” (i.e., only
a believer). It is also prudent to marry a godly
believer and not one who is carnal and worldly.
Be wise in your choice.

In choosing a wife, physical beauty should

not be the main criterion. Proverbs 31:30 says,
“Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman
that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.” Calvin
said, “marriage is a thing too sacred to allow
that men should be induced to it by the lust
of the eyes. … [O]ur appetite becomes brutal,
when we are so ravished with the charms of
beauty that those things which are chief are
not taken into account.” Thus the woman we
look for should be one who possesses the
qualities of a “chaste conversation coupled with
fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward
adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of
gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the
hidden man of the heart, in that which is not
corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and

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 quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great
price” (1 Pet 3:2–4).

Beware the Jezebel—she is a beauty but also a

beast. A potent and deadly combination!

Father’s Privilege

“But if any man think that he behaveth himself

uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower
of her age, and need so require, let him do what he
will, he sinneth not: let them marry. Nevertheless
he that standeth stedfast in his heart, having no
necessity, but hath power over his own will, and
hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his
virgin, doeth well. So then he that giveth her in
marriage doeth well; but he that giveth her not
in marriage doeth better” (1 Cor 7:36–38).

1 Corinthians 7:36–38 concerns the father and

his daughter. The father has the privilege and
responsibility to give his daughter away in
marriage. The Apostle Paul here says it is good for
a father to give his daughter away in marriage,

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but it is better if he does not if there is no
necessity to and if the daughter is pleased to
remain single. According to Paul, marriage is
good, but singlehood is better. Since time is
short and the Lord will come back soon, it is
better to devote oneself single-mindedly to
the service of the Lord, “So then he that giveth
her in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth
her not in marriage doeth better.” (1 Cor 7:38).

Engagement First

If a father chooses to give his daughter away,

then there should be a period of engagement.
The Bible speaks of “betrothal” where a couple
makes a promise to marry before the actual
wedding (Deut 20:7). Here, parents are involved
and God’s will is sought. Engagement comes
about upon proposal, when both sets of parents
and children agree before wedding plans begin.
There must be consensus. The engagement is
not marriage and the man and the woman are
not yet husband and wife. They should not be
living together nor have any sexual relations

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with each other. Cohabitation in the days of
the Reformation was a criminal offence—the
penalty was imprisonment for three days.

Wedding Next

The wedding should follow soon after the

engagement. Wedding invitations should be
sent in the name of both sets of parents. The
parents, not the wedding couple, are the ones
who invite. The wedding should reflect godliness
and not worldliness. The service is to be a sacred
and solemn ceremony since lifelong vows will
be made before God and man. This is not the
time for jocularity or frivolity. The bride’s
wedding gown should reflect chastity and
modesty and be white in colour.

A Christian Home

Now that you are husband and wife, you are

going to embark on a new journey with new
experiences and challenges. You no longer walk
alone or do things alone—you now have each

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 other to think of, to consider, and like it or not,
you are stuck with each other (super-stuck) for
life, “till death us do part”. As Genesis 2:24 says,
“Therefore shall a man … cleave unto his wife: and
they shall be one flesh.” This cleaving speaks of
an inseparable union that must last a lifetime.
How to have a happy, healthy, harmonious
married life? God tells us how in Genesis 2:18
when He said, “It is not good that the man
should be alone; I will make him an help meet for
him.” It is vital to understand what the role of
man is in the family and why God made the
woman for the man. Many marriages break
down because people reject their God-given
roles as husband and wife. Take note of these
three principles:

Husband the Leader,

Wife the Helper

The husband is the leader and the wife is the

helper. The best partner and helper the man
can have is the woman. The woman is not man-
made but God-made. Our God is perfect Maker

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and Matchmaker. “Every good gift and every
perfect gift is from above” (Jas 1:17). Proverbs
18:22 says, “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good
thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord.” As such
the husband should regard his wife as someone
very important and very precious. She is going
to help him be the spiritual leader God meant
him to be.

God has conferred authority upon the man to

lead. As Christ has authority over the Church, the
man has authority over his wife. 1 Corinthians
11:3 says, “But I would have you know, that the
head of every man is Christ; and the head of the
woman is the man … For this cause ought the
woman to have power [i.e., authority] on her
head.” 1 Timothy 2:12–13 says, “But I suffer not
a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the
man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed,
then Eve.” When the Bible forbids a woman to
teach, that does not mean she does not or
cannot teach in any and every situation. We
know that the Bible commands the older women

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to teach the younger women, and mothers are
required to teach their children (Tit 2:3–5).
The teaching prohibition here has to do
with authoritative teaching that comes from
a divinely ordained ministry given to the
man by God whether it be at home or in the
church (cf. 1 Tim 2:7).

Husband the Provider,

Wife the Homemaker

The husband is the provider and the wife the

homemaker. If the man is the leader, then he
must also be the provider. The head of the
house must work hard to provide for his family.
This is taught in 1 Timothy 5:8, “But if any
provide not for his own, and specially for those of
his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is
worse than an infidel.”

The duty of the woman as a wife and mother

is to be the homemaker. This is taught in
1 Timothy 5:14, “I will therefore that the younger
women marry, bear children, guide the house,

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give none occasion to the adversary to speak
reproachfully.” Titus 2:5 calls on the young
women “To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home,
good, obedient to their own husbands, that the
word of God be not blasphemed.”

When the children come, parents should do

their best to teach their children. Proverbs 22:6
says, “Train up a child in the way he should go:
and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
The father teaches, but the mother teaches even
more since she is there in the house fulltime,
to “guide the house” and is the “keeper at home.”
Do not despise this good work of being a full-
time mother and teacher at home. Proverbs
31:27–28 promises a blessing for full-time
homemakers, “She looketh well to the ways of
her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her
husband also, and he praiseth her.”

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 Husband the Lover,
Wife the Follower

Husband is the lover and wife the follower.

Husbands are commanded to love their wives.
Ephesians 5:25 says, “Husbands, love your
wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and
gave himself for it.” Verse 28 says, “So ought
men to love their wives as their own bodies. He
that loveth his wife loveth himself.” Adam said,
“This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my
flesh” (Gen 2:23). It is to the man’s benefit if
he takes good care of his wife. The love the
man must have for his wife must be total,
100%. That was how Christ loved His Church—
He gave His life for her. Likewise the husband
must love his wife that much—he must be
willing to lay down his life for her. When a man
loves his wife this way, he will keep himself
from committing adultery and will not think
of divorce.

Wives are commanded to submit to their

husbands. Ephesians 5:22 says, “Wives, submit

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yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the
Lord.” The submission entails obedience.
Consider what 1 Peter 3:5–6 says, “For after this
manner in the old time the holy women also,
who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being
in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as
Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose
daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are
not afraid with any amazement.”

The wife’s attitude towards her husband must

be one of deep respect. Respect him and the
decisions he will make. This does not mean
the wife cannot express her thoughts and
feelings, but she should let him have the final
say. If a decision is not contrary to Scripture
or ethics, submit to him, and let him take
the lead. He is ultimately responsible and
accountable to Christ. Christ is his Head and
Christ will lead and guide him. She follows him
because he follows Christ. This is the biblical
pattern that makes for a happy marriage.

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“Blessed is every one that feareth the Lord; That
walketh in his ways. For thou shalt eat the labour
of thine hands: Happy shalt thou be, and it shall
be well with thee. Thy wife shall be as a fruitful
vine by the sides of thine house: Thy children like
olive plants round about thy table. Behold, that
thus shall the man be blessed that feareth the
Lord” (Ps 128:1–4).

Rev Dr Jeffrey Khoo

Pastor, True Life Bible-Presbyterian Church

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PHIL 2:16
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LIFE BIB

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www.truelifebpc.org.sg