Take a breath (things to focus on).................................

3
Cancer facts straight up ................................................4
Getting the right information ........................................7
What are they doing to my parent? ..............................9
When to worry and what to do ...................................11
Good Googling.............................................................12

Changing roles ............................................................15

Relationships; family and friends ...............................16
Let’s talk about feelings (or not!) ................................20
Talking is tough!..........................................................23
Supporting your parent ...............................................25
All about you (staying healthy) ...................................29
When it all seems too much .......................................31
Getting support ...........................................................34
What’s a coping strategy? ..........................................36
Not a saint...................................................................37
Grief and loss ..............................................................38
Beyond cancer .............................................................40
If cancer returns ..........................................................42
If treatment doesn’t work ...........................................44

School, study and work ...............................................47

Finances and other grown up stuff .............................49
Feed yourself (and everyone else) ..............................51

What cancer is that? ...................................................55

Test and more tests.....................................................59
Treatment de-coded ....................................................61
Who is that person? ....................................................63
Glossary (or what the….does that mean?) ................65

Tear off tips for friends ..............................................69

Talking cards ...............................................................73
Don’t freak checklist ...................................................77
Where to get help .......................................................78
Bibliography ................................................................80
Acknowledgements.....................................................81
Help! Who do I call? ...................................................83

First Published January 2008

Updated Re-Print March 2010
ISBN 978-0-9804637-1-2

© CanTeen – The Australian Organisation for Young People Living with Cancer 2010

nowWhat_2ndcoverContents.indd 2 12/02/10 2:34 PM

 Introduction

You’ve just been told that one

of the most important people
in your life has cancer.
Now What…?
There are probably so many things running
through your head – questions, feelings, new
thoughts – that it’s hard to know where you are,
let alone where you might be going or what you
might do. You are probably asking now what?

Well, this book is designed to help you

understand some of what is going to
happen, make sense of it and give you some
directions for the challenge that your parent’s
cancer diagnosis has thrown at you.

Cancer is the last thing that anyone would

invite into their lives but like lots of other
things, you don’t have much control over it.

Having the right kind of help and

information can make a big difference.

nowWhat_body1-2.indd 1 24/03/10 1:49 PM

 Introduction

This is not a “book” to be read from

beginning to end but rather something for
you to dip into when you need it. It contains
information, practical tips plus some support
and encouragement to assist you.

You can also log onto the website

www.nowwhat.org.au to access the information
as well as read some more detailed information
about some topics.The website also has other
useful resources, stories, blogs and forums
to support you through this tough time.

We have used the words parent, mum or dad

when referring to the person who has cancer
in your family. This is for simplicity even though
we know that for some of you reading this,
the person who looks after you could be
a grandparent or another adult. It doesn’t
matter who that person is, the
journey is still the same.

You may use all of what’s

inside this book or you may
only choose to use a bit.
That’s OK.

We’ve had a lot of input from

Top Tips other young people who
have shared the same stuff,
Don’t let others
so we hope that you find
keep on giving you
something in here that helps
bad advice
to unscramble the world you
have suddenly landed in.

nowWhat_body1-2.indd 2 24/03/10 1:49 PM

 Head Stuff/Take a breath

It is not your fault

Cancer is caused by lots of
things, many of which doctors
OK, you now know that don’t even understand. But
your parent has cancer none of these have anything
and the path of your be completely freaked and to do with anything you said,
life has taken a great your parent may be quite did or thought.
big turn. sick, remembering this may
give you some hope during Knowledge is power
As hard as it may be at this Having the right information
tough times.
point to focus on anything, can be a big help in dealing
there are a few things that can There are others
with your parent’s cancer.
help you to get a better handle out there (no, not
Learning about the particular
on the situation. just aliens!)
cancer and its treatments can
While no-one will feel exactly take some of the fear out of it.
(And while you are reading
the same way as you, there Things imagined can often be
these you can stop holding
are lots of other young people worse than the reality.
your breath!)
out there who are living with
Many people a parent who has cancer. It can Hope
survive cancer help to know that others are Hang on to hope. It doesn’t
There are over 250,000 people experiencing similar things. matter how dark things may
living with cancer in Australia See “Where to get help” for get, try and find something to
today. Discoveries of new websites to connect with other be hopeful for.
and more effective ways of young people. No-one can take that from you;
diagnosing and treating cancer never give it up.
are being made all the time,
leading to improved survival
rates. Even though you may

nowWhat_body3-14.indd 3 2/12/08 12:36:31 PM

 Head Stuff/Cancer facts

You would have been familiar with

the word cancer even before your
parent was diagnosed. But knowing
what it actually is, is a different thing.
There are so many stories about it
and so much written about it, but
not all of what you read in the mags,
newspapers and the net or see on
TV is correct. (What a surprise that
must be.)
Part of the difficulty of understanding what
cancer is comes from the fact that cancer refers
to more than a hundred different diseases.
All of these diseases have one thing in common:
cells that divide and grow abnormally.

Our bodies are made up of billions of cells –

they are basically like building blocks.

Normally, cells grow and divide to make more

cells only when the body needs them.

This orderly process helps to keep the body

healthy, replace worn out cells and to heal after
an injury.

nowWhat_body3-14.indd 4 2/12/08 12:36:31 PM

 Head Stuff/Cancer facts

At the start I really wish I knew...

how I would miss all the things that mum
used to be able to do.

However, sometimes this process doesn’t go Why do people get

according to plan and the cells can get out of cancer?
control, producing new ones even when they The causes of most cancers
aren’t needed. This behaviour by the cells can are unknown. However some
form a mass of tissue called a growth or a things like smoking, spending
tumour. Tumours can be benign (not cancerous) too much time in the sun, not
or malignant (cancerous). getting enough exercise and
Benign tumours can often be removed and don’t not having a healthy diet, may
spread to other parts of the body. put people at a higher risk of
getting certain types of cancer.
Malignant tumours can invade and damage
Coming in contact with certain
nearby tissues and spread to other organs in
chemicals and toxins can also
the body. The spread of cancer from one part
increase the risk.
of the body to another is called metastasis.
If you have a particular risk
Cancers are usually named for the organ or type
factor for cancer, this does
of cell in which they begin. So lung cancer would
not mean that you will
have started in the lungs.
definitely get cancer, just as
Some, like leukaemia, do not form tumours but not having it does not mean
are diseases of the bone marrow and blood. that you won’t get it. It is all
about probability.
The most common adult cancers are explained in
the “What cancer is that” chart on page 55. Smoking is a good example
of this: if you smoke, it is not
certain that you will get cancer.
5

nowWhat_body3-14.indd 5 2/12/08 12:36:31 PM

 Head Stuff/Cancer facts

If you don’t smoke, it is not certain that you

won’t. But if you smoke, your risk of getting
lung cancer is far higher than if you don’t.
Nine out of ten people who develop lung
cancer are smokers.

However sometimes your parent may not have

had any of these risk factors, yet they still got
cancer. Often there is no apparent reason for Will my parent die?
the cancer.
While many people survive cancer, the reality
It’s not like catching a cold is that people do die from it. There are many
You may worry that you will catch cancer factors that affect what the outcome will be for
(no, it’s not a silly thought). You can’t. It is not your mum or dad including what type of cancer
a contagious disease. So there are definitely they have, where it is and how advanced the
no problems with hugs and kisses. cancer is.

Can mum or dad pass it on to This is discussed in more detail in the chapter
me (like my eye colour)? “If treatment no longer works”.

Most cancers are not passed down from parent

Seventy percent of people who get

to child. However there are some cancers that
do have a genetic component. That is they are
caused by a faulty gene that may have been
inherited from your parents.

Only a small number of cancers (between

5-10% or less than 1 in 10) seem to be the
cancer are over 60.

result of having a faulty gene and these tend

to be the cancers that affect older people.
So, say your dad has bowel cancer and maybe
your grandfather had it, there is a chance that
it could be caused by a faulty gene. But it doesn’t
mean that you will get it as a young person.

If you are concerned about this you can talk to

your parents, ask their doctor or check out one of
Remember:

the websites in the “Where to get help” section

on page 78.

nowWhat_body3-14.indd 6 2/12/08 12:36:32 PM

 Head Stuff/Getting the right info

Having the right information is an important way

to help you cope with what’s going on.

Not knowing what’s happening Whatever you choose is OK t

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get this cancer too?
deal with things in their own parent, their doctor, the
way. For some people having nurses or the social worker t
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all the information is important at some stage. parent get?
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Remember: You may need t
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are enough.
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nowWhat_body3-14.indd 7 2/12/08 12:36:32 PM

 Head Stuff/Getting the right info

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or acts?

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go with them?

There may be other questions that you have.

Use the space below to write them down

Information Overload
When you are stressed, upset or scared, it’s
often hard to take in everything that is said.
More than likely you will only remember a small
amount of stuff that you are told, especially in
the beginning.

So here are a few tips on how to get the right

information and ways to remember it:

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(not a magazine one, but a plastic one) or
draw a picture.

nowWhat_body3-14.indd 8 2/12/08 12:36:32 PM

 Head Stuff/What are they doing…?

The plan that the treatment

follows is called a protocol.
However, people’s bodies react
differently to treatments so
even if two people have the
There are over 100 different same cancer and the same
types of cancer and each type treatment, how they cope with
is treated differently. it may be different.

The aim of the cancer It’s important not to compare

treatment is to get rid of your parent’s experience
the cancer cells. with another patient – we
are all individuals.
What sort of treatment your
parent receives will depend on One of the hardest parts of this
a number of factors: journey is waiting to see if the
cancer treatment is working.
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or dad and why, may week they can be feeling
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effects your parent gets or how
newly diagnosed or if it is severe they are has nothing to
a recurrence (the cancer do with whether the treatment
came back). is working.
9

nowWhat_body3-14.indd 9 2/12/08 12:36:32 PM

 Section Header
T
in he m
fo o
rm st
ati us
on efu
th that l pie Things to look for
pa e pi I go ce o
th per eces t wa f
When your parent is being

m e p ab of s...
treated for their cancer they

th um roce out
can get infections more easily.
ro ha ss That’s because the white blood
ug d th cells that fight infections in our
h. to at bodies are often affected by the
go
treatment, making it harder to
fight things like colds, the flu
or chicken pox.

An infection could make your

mum or dad sicker, so they
The doctors may try one treatment and then try
may need to stay away from
something new and the treatment can last for
crowded places or people
several months or even years.
who have an illness they could
This uncertainty can make things really hard catch. You can help by:
for everyone.
t
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When things seem really bad, try to focus on the to avoid spreading germs
fact that the treatment your parent is undergoing
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is working to stop the cancer and eventually
you’ve been in contact with
make them better.
someone who is sick or has
The charts on page 61 give brief overviews of a cold
the main types of treatments: their medical
t
not coming in close contact
names, what they actually are, how they are
with your parent if you get sick
given and what their side effects may be.
(this is another good reason
You may have a lot more questions to ask for taking care of yourself)
after reading this. Check out the
t
checking with the doctors
recommended websites for more information
or nurses if you are worried
or ask your parents or the medical staff treating
about infections or other stuff
your parent.
that may harm your parent.
(See tips for talking to your parents and the
medical team on pages 7 & 8.)

10

nowWhat_body3-14.indd 10 2/12/08 12:36:32 PM

 Head Stuff/When to worry

Your parent may be really sick t

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and what is something that you need or vague – more than normal?
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To help you work out when to worry and when anywhere?
not to, here is a list of questions to ask that
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another adult or the nurse who is looking after There may be other questions that you have or
mum or dad to get these answers for you. You that relate directly to your parent’s situation. Use
could even just give them the list and they can the space below to write others down.
put in the answers for you.

There is also a Don’t Freak Checklist at the back of the booklet (page 77) so that you can write
down the answers to these questions.
11

nowWhat_body3-14.indd 11 2/12/08 12:36:32 PM

 Head Stuff/Good googling

Without stating the obvious, the net is a great

source of information but as we all know it is
also full of some weird stuff. That’s not always
helpful when you are trying to get accurate
and useful information.

Here are a few tips to Don’t believe it all

make your Googling a bit If the claims in an article seem
more successful. too good to be true, then they
Always check probably are.
the source of the Living with cancer can make
information us all very open to promises of
Much of the information on cures and miracle treatments.
the net, while well meaning,
It’s a good idea to check out
can be misleading or out
the claims made with your
of date. Look at where the
parents, their treating doctor
information is coming from.
or a reliable web source.
There are many reliable cancer
organisations that have great
information that is accurate and
up to date. (See the list of some
of these in the “Where to get
help” section on page 78.)

12

nowWhat_body3-14.indd 12 2/12/08 12:36:32 PM

 At the sta
I really w rt
I knew... ish h
an ow
ca ac ha
nc cu rd
er ra it
pa te is
tie pr to
nt og ma
s. no k
sis e
fo
r

Look who is behind

the website you
are on
If it starts with something like
“I cured my own cancer in Make sure you are searching
three weeks” or “The facts the the right stuff
medical profession won’t tell
Each cancer is different but the treatments
you”, it is a good guess that it
and outcomes for the same cancer can also
is not a reliable site.
be different depending on things like the stage
People have all sorts of reasons and where it is in the body.
for putting stuff up on the web.
Before you head off into cyberspace, see if you
What they don’t can find out these things about your parent’s
tell you cancer. (Could save you from freaking over
Every treatment has risks and something that you don’t have to!)
benefits. If the site doesn’t Use the web information as a
mention both the good and bad starting point
bits it may not be telling the
Information found on the web can be a good
whole story. If you hear about
way to start a conversation with your mum or
a treatment from one website
dad. Having information can help you to feel a
look for other evidence that
little bit more in control. It is possible that you
backs it up on another website.
are better at searching the net than your parents.
This may be one way that you can provide some
practical support.
13

nowWhat_body3-14.indd 13 2/12/08 12:36:32 PM

 Heart Stuff/Changing roles

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you thought that might be
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brothers and sisters.

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relatives and friends.

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much time with your friends.
This can all seem very scary,
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challenging and at times even
boring after a week.
very unfair.
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You may have to dig deep and
home.
find a strength that you didn’t
know you had. You may feel like your normal
No matter how much life has been stolen from you.
You may also have to put up
you hoped it wouldn’t, This isn’t fair and definitely
with well meaning people
life changed once your not what you asked for. This
telling you how brave you are
parent was diagnosed reaction is perfectly OK. Most
(when really all you want is
with cancer. of us are happy with routines
for it all to go away).
in our lives and don’t like too
Living with a parent who has
People will deal with things many changes, especially
cancer can affect your life
in different ways as they try when those changes feel out
in almost every way. Some
to make sense of this new of control and life is not how
changes are really big while
situation. You may be unsure you want it to be.
some are not as noticeable.
about the future, what is
Although it is much easier
Often the focus is on how happening at home or even
said than done (aren’t most
cancer affects your feelings what’s going on in the
things!?), try to be flexible
but it can also mess with family now.
and take each day as it comes.
everyday life: routines
Do these things sound familiar?
change, it’s not always easy Getting used to what this now
to plan for things, people act t

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means for you, your parents
weird and nothing seems the house – have you had to and the rest of the family may
certain anymore. find the washing machine? take a while.
15

nowWhat_body15-46.indd 15 24/03/10 1:55 PM

 Heart Stuff/Relationships

A cancer diagnosis can put a strain That’s not to say that there isn’t also a really
on all of your relationships: parents, big chance you will develop a better relationship
brothers, sisters and friends. with your mum or dad and come to appreciate
things that you may not have been aware of
Dealing with these changes can be really hard.
before. Little disagreements may no longer
Parents seem so important.
Whether your parents live together, are
Don’t expect things to change overnight – if
separated or you only have one parent, your
there were things you didn’t agree on before
relationship with them will more than likely go
it doesn’t mean you will miraculously see eye
through some changes. Lots will depend on your
to eye now that they have cancer.
age, whether you are still at school or working
and whether you have moved out of home. You still want to be you but now circumstances
mean that some things have to change.
All of us have the ‘normal’ parent/child hassles
and conflicts, and the bad news is that cancer Seeing your parent sick, in pain and maybe
can make these even tougher to deal with. not even looking like they used to is really hard.
It can make you feel guilty if you get angry
with them or want to do things that they don’t
agree with.

16

nowWhat_body15-46.indd 16 24/03/10 1:55 PM

 Heart Stuff/Relationships

There may also be a lot of focus on your parent

who is unwell and you may feel a little left out
of their lives. Things like birthdays, special
events or school meetings may get forgotten.
This can be hard to handle but it doesn’t We are all individuals and will deal with things
mean they don’t love you, just that they differently. You probably have set roles in your
are dealing with a heap of stuff as well. family: you know, the responsible one, the
rebel, the quiet one, the one everyone blames.
You will probably read a lot about the importance
of talking about things and not bottling things Just like your relationship with your
up. That can be easier said than done. It is parents there may need to be some
really important to learn how to do this. negotiations and lots of talking about the
changes that are going on in the family.
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how to communicate with your parents. If you are the oldest in the family you may take
on some extra responsibilities – for some of
Your parents may also worry that you have
you this may be fine but others may find it a
no-one to talk to and may want to organise for
big hassle. Younger brothers and sisters may
you to meet with a social worker, psychologist
also not like the fact that they think you are
or counsellor.
being the parent. You know the cry: “You’re
Whilst you may not want to admit it, they are not mum/dad! Stop bossing me around!”
probably right and are only doing it because
But the other side to this is that sometimes it
they are concerned about how you are doing.
really does bring you closer together. It puts
Let them know if you are talking to people and you on the same team and you’ll learn stuff
if you do feel like you have some support. about each other that you didn’t know.
Brothers and sisters However just like the relationships with
Best friends or biggest pains? Brothers and your parents, don’t expect miracles.
sisters often have a love/ hate relationship Remember: We all react to difficult
and when you throw a really sick parent situations and change differently.
into the mix things can get a bit tricky. We all express our fears and pain
in different ways.

Go easy on each other – believe it or not your

brothers and sisters do understand what you are
going through – they’re going through it as well.

17

nowWhat_body15-46.indd 17 24/03/10 1:55 PM

 Heart Stuff/Relationships

Friends As unfair as it may seem, you It’s not because they don’t
Friends are always important may have to help your friends care, but more that they just
– you probably spend as much to deal with what is happening don’t know what to say.
time with them (or more) as for you. They might need help
If you want to talk you may
you do with your family. in getting over their fears.
have to start the ball rolling.
Often you will have to make
You may act differently the first move and to let your Friends won’t say
because of your parent’s friends know that you are able things to deliberately
cancer, and your friends to talk about your situation. tick you off
might find this difficult to Sometimes your friends will
deal with sometimes. Below are a few things that
you might want to think about say stuff that really annoys
We know that for many of concerning your friends. you and makes you angry. This
you this one is a biggie. You can be really hard. But try to
might wish your friends were Friends don’t keep in mind they didn’t try
better at being there for you. know what to say to tick you off on purpose, it’s
Your friends may be scared just that they don’t understand.
Remember: You may have
to say the wrong thing or to It’s OK to let them know. You
acted the same way as your
ask you a question. Often can start with “You know,
friends are acting before
they will just say nothing. that annoys me when….”.
you had this experience.

Some of the things your friends

may be thinking include:

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or do?

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someone whose parent
has cancer?

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The most useful piece of

things that are bothering information that I got was...
me? They seem trivial to talk to other people
compared to what my and relax.
friend is going through.

18

nowWhat_body15-46.indd 18 24/03/10 1:55 PM

 Heart Stuff/Relationships

Friends may ask tough

questions (or even questions Top Tips
that seem a bit silly)
Be prepared for questions that may seem Don’t push yourself
strange – remember all the things that you beyond what u feel
didn’t know before all this started.
comfortable with,
Sometimes you may not want to answer don’t try and be what
questions about your parent’s cancer.
someone else expects
It is OK to let your friends know that
you don’t feel like talking right now. you to be.
Your friends have their
own lives
It may seem that your friends are just getting
on with their lives without you and you feel a
little left out. Try to remember that they have Lots of young people say that this
their own lives too and they aren’t facing the is often the best support.
same situation as you are. Unfortunately, the
You may also lose some friends along
world doesn’t stop just because your parent
the way. Some people find it too hard
has cancer (although for you it may seem like
and you may also decide that they
you have entered a whole different world).
are just not worth the hassle.
Try to stay in touch and let your friends know
Having positive people in your
that you still want to be part of what’s going on
life is important at this time.
even if you can’t always go out and do things.
Go to www.nowwhat.org.au and
SMS, msn, on-line social networking sites (like
www.canteen.org.au to find ways
FaceBook and My Space) are all great ways to
to connect with other young
stay in touch (if you have access to these). You
people in the same boat.
could even use the old fashioned home phone.
Also check out the “Tear off tips
Friends may change
for friends” and the “Talking cards”
It’s amazing how common experiences can lead at the back of the book.
to friendships. You may connect with other young
people who are going through the same thing.
It may be easier to talk to them about what is
happening for you because they understand.

19

nowWhat_body15-46.indd 19 24/03/10 1:55 PM

 Heart Stuff/Let’s talk about feelings

Dealing with your that, but just pretend) or the Feelings are not good or bad,
parent’s cancer can experience has been described they are just feelings. Even
throw up all sorts of as like being on an “emotional if you hope that they will go
different feelings. Some rollercoaster”. Maybe this away, try to ignore them, or
you may have expected refers to the feeling of racing even feel guilty about them,
and others may come along feeling like you have no they will still just be there.
as a complete surprise. control or maybe it is the big
The problem is that when
ups and downs that you feel.
It may not always be so easy things get bottled up they need
to pinpoint your actual Many of you may not be to get out somehow and this
feelings and they can also be comfortable sharing your can lead to behaviour that is
hard to understand. feelings and sometimes you not safe, angry outbursts or a
hope that if you just ignore bit of a meltdown. As hard as
Remember: There is no right
them they will go away. (Guess it may be, finding some way to
or wrong way to feel.
what? They don’t.) express what you are feeling is
It may feel a bit like being really important in helping you
thrown around in a washing to deal with the stress of living
machine (not that many of with a parent who has cancer.
us have ever experienced

20

nowWhat_body15-46.indd 20 24/03/10 1:55 PM

 Heart Stuff/Let’s talk about feelings

The list of emotions below may help you put

a name to what you are feeling.

(These are what other young people have

described.) You may experience all of these
at some stage, or maybe only one or two. You
may switch from one to the other depending on
what is happening in your family and with your Scared
parent’s treatment. Doesn’t matter how tough,
Shock/Disbelief grown up or brave you are
– finding out your parent has
More than likely you will feel shocked when you
cancer can scare the crap out
hear that your parent has cancer. You may also
of you.
go through a stage of disbelief.
There is a lot of fear around
This can happen even if you thought that
a cancer diagnosis. Some of
something was up. Cancer was probably not
it may be based on facts but
what you were expecting.
others may be about things that
won’t or can’t happen. Some of
the fear may go away as time
goes on.

Admitting that you are afraid

can sometimes be a big relief.

Angry
Feeling angry when you first
find out that your parent has
cancer is pretty normal. You
may think that it’s not fair, want
to know why it has happened
to you (and your mum or dad).
And then you may get angry at
yourself for feeling that way.

21

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 Heart Stuff/Let’s talk about feelings

It is OK to feel angry but learning some positive

ways to express it is important. See “Safe ways
UP
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ZPVS
GFFMJOHTw
PO
QBHF


Anger can hide other feelings like fear

or sadness.

Sad
There are lots of reasons to feel sad about your
parent’s cancer and it’s all part of the reaction to
it. However, if these feelings get really bad, don’t
seem to go away after a few weeks and start to
get in the way of other things then you may be
feeling depressed. (See “When it all seems too Neglected
NVDIw
PO
QBHF

GPS
NPSF
PO
EFQSFTTJPO With so much of everyone’s
energy and focus going into
Guilty
your sick parent it may feel
Some of you may get “the guilts” big time about like you are being left out or
your parent’s cancer. This can be about a number forgotten. It’s not uncommon
of things; you’re healthy and they’re not, you’ve for the family’s focus to change.
wished bad things would happen to them or It can be hard to accept that
argued with them, you laugh and still have fun you don’t get as much attention
or you wish you didn’t have to do the extra things at this time.
that you may have to do.
Embarrassed
Nothing
Your parent may look different
Sometimes you may feel nothing. This can be and perhaps act a bit differently
connected to shock or disbelief. It can also be because of the cancer. People
about being too busy in your own life – new may also ask questions that
boy/girlfriend, school etc. you don’t know how to answer.
It may take a while to feel something. Again, Having a parent with cancer
don’t be hard on yourself, this doesn’t mean you can make you feel different
don’t care – it’s just that you may take time to and that is not always easy
deal with it. to handle.

22

nowWhat_body15-46.indd 22 24/03/10 1:55 PM

 Heart Stuff/Talking is tough

Cancer is a tough to miraculously change that. Things to think

topic to talk about In fact it is probably only going about
(no kidding!!!). You may to make it more difficult. There is no right or wrong way
have stuff that you want But difficult things can become to talk about things.
to know but you’re not more difficult if everyone goes
sure how to ask your Let your parent know that you
around thinking about it, but want to know what is going on.
parent. Your parent may not sharing how they are
not be ready to talk or feeling and talking about what Your parent might not want to
perhaps your parent is really going on. The trick is talk about their cancer because
wants to talk but you to find ways that you can talk they don’t want to worry you.
are not ready to listen and communicate.
or talk to them. Maybe your parent doesn’t
You may be surprised how have all the information
While lots of pamphlets and themselves. Let them know that
much better it is when things
videos show families all sitting you would like them to share
are talked about.
around talking and sharing their the information once they have
innermost thoughts, the reality You’ve heard it before but not it. Good or bad.
is not all families talk openly talking about it won’t make it
and honestly about things that go away. It can be difficult to talk about
are happening or their feelings. the situation if there is a big
Lots of things can get in the gap between what you want to
A cancer diagnosis isn’t going way of talking openly. talk about and what your parent
wants to talk about.
23

nowWhat_body15-46.indd 23 24/03/10 1:55 PM

 Heart Stuff/Talking is tough

It may be easier for you to talk to someone else However there is this policy
in your family or even someone outside the called “patient confidentiality”.
family. This is OK. Think about people who you Your parent’s doctors are not
trust and feel comfortable with. (See “Getting able to tell you stuff about
TVQQPSUw
PO
QBHF
 your parent’s treatment or their
prognosis (what the outcome
Talking Tips may be) without your mum or
It may help to think about what you want to ask dad’s permission.
and what you want to say before you start.
How to get around it? You
It may be really hard to start with and there may can ask your parents to give
be lots of silent moments. That’s OK. the doctor permission to give
you information. But be aware
Try not to freak if you or your parent gets upset
if your mum and dad has told
– this is not an easy thing to be talking about.
the doctor that they do not
Talking can be easier if you are doing something want you know some things
else at the same time – driving in the car, then the doctor has to obey
cleaning up in the kitchen. those wishes.
Expect a lot of mixed or confusing emotions

Try not to worry about it too much – this whole For some parents not telling
thing is strange and scary and it may take time the whole story is a way of
to work out the best way to talk to each other. protecting you. Closing the gap
If talking is too hard between what your parents
want you to know and what you
Sometimes talking is too hard but you still want
want to know can take some
your mum or dad to know how you are feeling.
delicate negotiating.
These may help:

t
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them with your mum or dad.

t
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Top Tips:

When you want to know more

If it is information that you need, then you can do
some research yourself or speak to the doctors,
nurses or social workers.

24

nowWhat_body15-46.indd 24 24/03/10 1:55 PM

 Heart Stuff/Supporting your parent

You don’t need to be a genius to This can be treated by a doctor. (See “When
figure out that having cancer can JU
BMM
TFFNT
UPP
NVDIw
PO
QBHF

GPS
TPNF

really mess with your life. warning signs.)

Knowing how your parent is feeling about it Scared

could help you figure out how to support them Your parent may be afraid of how their cancer
or at least understand where they coming from. will change their life as well as the lives of the
It may surprise you but your mum or dad is rest of the members of your family.
probably feeling many of the same things Treatment can also be a scary thing; your mum or
you are. dad may even be frightened that they will die.
Sad or depressed Anxious
Your mum or dad may not be able to do the There are lots of things that could cause your
things they used to do and they will miss these parent to worry; how they are going to go to
activities. Just as your friends may not know work, pay bills, how the treatment will affect
what to say to you, your parent may have the them and how they will look. And like all other
same issue with their friends. parents they are probably worried about how
Depression (as opposed to just feeling down) is you’re doing.
not uncommon for people diagnosed with cancer.

25

nowWhat_body15-46.indd 25 24/03/10 1:55 PM

 Heart Stuff/Supporting your parent

Angry They may also feel that no-one

Cancer treatment and its side effects can be very understands what they are
difficult to go through. Your parent’s anger can going through and that they
sometimes come from feelings that are hard to need to hide their feelings.
express like frustration and fear. Try to remember Does a lot of this sound
that they are most likely angry at the cancer and familiar?
not at you.
How can you help?
Lonely Firstly, remember you are
Having cancer can be a lonely experience and not responsible for making
your mum or dad may feel a bit isolated. They everyone happy or for solving
may find that their friends have a hard time everyone’s problems. There
dealing with their cancer and don’t visit, or they are some things that you can
may be too sick to do things that they used to do. do that will help and this might
make you feel like you are
better supporting your parent.

One thing I have learnt from this experience is...

never assume the worst, always think of the positives
and always look forward to the future.

Be positive may not behave in ways that you are used to. Try
and understand that and be patient with them
This can be good for you and
and yourself. If you find it is getting too much,
your family, but don’t feel like
take a walk, listen to some music or just find
you have to be upbeat all the
some space for yourself.
time, especially if that is not
how you feel. Looking for the 4FF
i8IBUT
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TUSBUFHZ w
PO
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GPS

positive in things can make a more ideas.)
difference. Just being yourself
Help out at home
is OK.
Depending on which parent has cancer, the extra
Be patient things you may need to do could vary. They may
You and your parents are under involve helping out with younger brothers and
a lot of stress. Routines may sisters, cooking meals, doing the washing.
have changed and your parent You may also need to be around the house

26

nowWhat_body15-46.indd 26 24/03/10 1:55 PM

 Heart Stuff/Supporting your parent

more, especially if both of your Remember:

You and
parents are spending time at
the hospital.

Often it is the really small your needs

things that can make a big still count.
difference. Sometimes it is
just doing something without
being asked.

Spend time with Visiting your parent t
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them Hospitals can be freaky places any machines?
Just hanging out with your at the best of times. (Well, t
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parent can really help. You maybe not for everyone.) They drips or other stuff attached
could watch TV together, read may feel even more so when to them?
to them or find something to your parent is having treatment.
t
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laugh about. Knowing what is happening to
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Things will change in your life them and understanding what
and you may feel that you need to expect when you go to visit t
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to be around your mum or dad can help make it less stressful. their speech or hearing?
a lot more. But it is still OK Before you visit you might like t
8JMM
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to do the things that you did to know a few things. You can of it”?
before they got sick. get this info from another adult,
Remember: Your mum or dad
Remember: You and your the doctor, an older brother or
is still the same person even
needs still count. sister or another relative:
though they are sick.

Your mum or dad is still

interested in what is going
on with you and will still want
to be your parent (they may
still even expect you to clean
your room or stay in on a
Friday night).

27

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 Heart Stuff/Supporting your parent

Here are some things to make visiting easier: t
5BLF
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UIFJS
GBWPVSJUF
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or get take-away delivered.
t
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(Just check that they are
that way you have something to focus
not feeling sick because this
on other than all the medical stuff.
could turn them off their
t
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favourite food forever.)
in the hospital room you could take a movie
When visiting is
to watch.
too hard
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There may be practical reasons
card game. that make visiting hard: you
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have other commitments like
just being in the room can be a comfort to sport training, too much school
your parent. work, exams or work. Visiting
hours in some hospitals make it
t
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NVTJD
UP
MJTUFO
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hard to fit it all in. Don’t be hard
or a trashy magazine to read.
on yourself if you can’t get to
visit all the time.

Sometimes you just can’t face

visiting. This is OK. But you can
still stay in touch by phone, sms
or even by writing a letter.

If you find that you just can’t

visit at all, then you may need
to find someone to talk to
about this.

Remember: Life doesn’t stop

when you have a parent

Remember:
living with cancer.

Your mum or dad is still the same

person even though they are sick.

28

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 Heart Stuff/All about you

While everyone is worried about your parent who

has cancer, it is really important that you take the
time to look after yourself.

It’s not selfish because if you That all may seem easier said
don’t take care of yourself than done with everything else
then you can’t take care of going on in your life right now.
anyone else. You’ll need all Plus you may not really get why
your strength to get through it is so important.
the tough times.
Basically, your body needs the
Taking care of right fuel to keep it going. If you
your body start to skip meals or don’t get
You’ve probably heard it all enough sleep your brain can get
before; eat and drink well, stay that foggy feeling and it just
away from smoking, drinking makes everything else harder to
and drugs and get enough deal with.
sleep.

29

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 Heart Stuff/All about you

If you’ve ever seen a baby Taking care of your t
8SJUF
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UIPVHIUT
BOE

scream because it’s hungry or mind feelings down (check out the
grizzle because it’s tired, you’ll As well as having a healthy journal and other spaces to
get the picture. You might not body, your mind needs looking scribble in this book or start
do the same things but your after as well. Things to do: an online blog).
body will still start to feel bad.
t
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Find others who are in the
The idea is to make it easier – same situation as you at
not harder – for yourself. t
5BLF
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UP
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www.nowwhat.org.au
your friends.
These things are a good
starting point: t
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XJUI
UIJOHT
TP
UIBU
ZPV

don’t spend time and energy
t
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and unwind.

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are not feeling well.

Top Tips

You
are
stronger
than you
think

30

nowWhat_body15-46.indd 30 24/03/10 1:55 PM

 Heart Stuff/When it all seems too much

When you are living

with a parent who has
cancer, it is normal for
everyday things to seem
hard and for you to have
a whole heap of mixed
emotions. However
sometimes things can
start to seem like they
are out of control and
it can feel like it is all
too much.
It’s really important to
recognise some of these
warning signs and to get
some help.

Depression
People experience depression
and depressed moods in
different ways. Some common
symptoms are:

Mood
t
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DSBQ

t
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yourself.

t
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IFMQMFTT

t
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things that you do normally.

t
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memory.

t
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cope and that things are
out of control.
31

nowWhat_body15-46.indd 31 24/03/10 1:55 PM

 Heart Stuff/When it all seems too much

Behaviour Unhealthy ways to deal with stress

t
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IBWJOH
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and tough times
and energy. A lot gets written about positive ways to deal with stress, but
t
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that aren’t exactly so healthy or helpful. Don’t let the fear of
t
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ESVHT

people possibly judging you stop you from asking for help.
or alcohol.
/PPOF
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and healthy is more important.
and family.

Physical
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overeating.

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patterns – waking up during
the night or sleeping more
than normal.

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stomach aches.
At the start I really wish I knew...
t
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TJDL that cancer can be cured.
Many of these symptoms may
be just part of dealing with the
stress and a normal reaction
to dealing with a parent who
has cancer, but if these feelings
last for more than two weeks
If you are into any of the following, you may be at risk of doing
and they start to interfere with
yourself some long-term damage. Find someone you can trust to
things that you used to enjoy,
share what is happening or use the “Where to get help” section
then you may be depressed.
on page 78.
Try not to panic – there is help
out there for you. Check out the Drugs and alcohol
websites and phone numbers in You may start using drugs and or alcohol to cover up the pain or
the “Where to get help” section try to make it go away. Or you may simply use them to wipe out
on page 78. or escape from what is happening for you.

Without the lecture, this is only ever going to be a short term fix.

32

nowWhat_body15-46.indd 32 24/03/10 1:55 PM

 Heart Stuff/When it all seems too much

As tempting as it may be for you Deliberate self harm can give

Ask questions even if you are scared to do so

to use this as a coping strategy, you an instant sense of relief
it will not help you in the long but it is only a temporary
term and in fact will only do solution. You can be left with
you harm. permanent scars and ongoing
issues with your mental health.
Hurting others
Feeling angry when your Safe ways to act out
parent has cancer is OK. feelings (especially
Anger sometimes covers up all anger)
the other emotions going on t
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VTF
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underneath. If you don’t think hands, a stick or anything
you have a safe place to express else you can get your
yourself you may turn your anger hands on.
on others.
t
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Anger is a natural emotion but or in your room.
violence towards others is never
t
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QPVOEJOH

an OK way to deal with it.
the pavement is better than
There are better ways to express
beating up on yourself or
your anger that don’t involve
someone else.
hurting others.
t
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Deliberate self harm a good excuse for a great
This is when you deliberately big cry!
harm yourself, usually in secret.
t
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This can involve cutting, burning,
SCREAM at the top of
pulling out your hair, scratching
your lungs.
yourself or picking at sores on
Top Tips

your skin. t
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TIII

don’t tell the water
Often it is used to cope with
restriction guys) and cry, sing
difficult or painful feelings.
or yell while you are in there.
It’s also a way of trying to tell
Remember: Having a parent
people that you need some
with cancer sucks, but you
support or feel out of control.
are not alone and there are
people who will understand
and can help.

33

nowWhat_body15-46.indd 33 24/03/10 1:55 PM

 Heart Stuff/Getting support

Asking for help can be a pretty scary /P
TFSJPVTMZ
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GPS

thing to do. different people but will probably have some
things in common.
It may mean having to:
A good support person will:
t
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like to be (or are pretending to be) t

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But unlike lots of other stuff that you have to t

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deal with, having a parent with cancer is off the
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radar for most young people. It’s not something
you feel.
that you may have ever thought about, let alone
read anything about or chatted to friends about. Who can you get support from?
Faking the “I’m OK” thing is going to be a whole It may take a few shots at finding the right
lot harder. person, but it’s worth making the effort.

What does a good support Parents

person look like? You may find that your “well” parent is able to
Well they’ve got really big hair, wear long offer you all the support you need just because
flowing skirts, burn candles and are as old they know you and are around all the time. But
as your grandmother. remember they have a lot to deal with and you
may have to be brave and ask for their support.
The same goes for your parent who has cancer.

34

nowWhat_body15-46.indd 34 24/03/10 1:55 PM

 Rememb
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GPS
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expects you O
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to get throug E
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people really h th is on your ow
do want to he n and other
lp.

Other relatives
Sometimes you get on better with an aunt,
uncle or grandparent than you do with your
parents. (That’s OK.) Maybe you have things in
common, are closer in age (alright not with your
grandparents) or they just get you. Use these
people to get support.

Counsellor
You don’t have to be crazy to see a counsellor. Friends
They will listen to you and you can say things Some friends may be great at giving you just
to them that you may not want to say to anyone what you need but you may need to ask. Just
else. The best thing is that you can’t hurt their having people know what is happening can help.
feelings or piss them off. They are skilled in
Religious leaders
helping to work out ways to cope with anger,
sadness and fear. Priests, pastors, rabbis or other religious leaders
are experienced in supporting people in their
GP communities. You may already be involved in
Your family doctor may have known you and a youth group. They may be able to give you
your family for a while, so they might understand just what you are looking for.
what is happening for you. Doctors not only treat
Support groups
physical problems but can help with offering you
support. You don’t need your parent’s permission Sounds lame? There are organisations that work
UP
TFF
B
EPDUPS
JG
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BSF
PWFS
 with young people who are in the same boat.
This might not grab you at first (others have
Teacher said the same thing) but once you actually go
Maybe there is a particular school teacher you you might change your mind. It is said that the
have a good relationship with. Don’t be afraid best support comes from those who have been
to let them know what is going down. They work there and done that. CanTeen, the organisation
with young people all the time and are usually for young people living with cancer, has great
great listeners and can be an advocate programs that offer support. Check out the
(someone who is on your side) at school. website www.canteen.org.au

35

nowWhat_body15-46.indd 35 24/03/10 1:55 PM

 Heart Stuff/Coping strategy

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t
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doing the things that you like
– playing sport, exercising,
hanging out with friends.

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you will be amazed at how
good this feels.

t
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– not just traditional religion
but anything that may give
you comfort.

t
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if you have taken on extra
“Coping strategy” is Here are a few that may help: roles. Things like a weekly
a fancy term for those
t
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planner and a to-do list can
thoughts and actions
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the tough stuff that
a lame thing to do).
having a parent with t
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t
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different ways but
developing some good coping
strategies can help you stay
on top of things.

36

nowWhat_body15-46.indd 36 24/03/10 1:55 PM

 Heart Stuff/Not a saint

saint
There is a whole lot of So...
stuff out there about
t

JUT
OK not to feel special
how being “touched by
cancer” can somehow t

JUT
OK to still get cross with
make you into a saint, your parent and have all the
cause you to give up normal parent-child issues
all your bad habits and t

JUT
OK to not feel really
find the answer to the brave and think that the
universe. whole experience will be
It is true that many young good for you
people say that the experience
t
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OK to think the whole
has taught them stuff they
thing sucks
didn’t know, made them
appreciate the little things t

JUT
OK to come out the other
more and helped them find a end of this still being the
strength that they didn’t know same, faults and all.
they had.

But for some of you, the

expectation that this is how it
should be is a really hard thing
to live up to.

Remember
Everyone deals with things their own way and learns
different things from the same experience.

37

nowWhat_body15-46.indd 37 24/03/10 1:55 PM

 Heart Stuff/Grief and loss

There is heaps of grief and loss

around living with a parent who
has cancer.
Often we only think about grief and loss in
terms of someone dying but in fact you could
have these feelings even though your mum
or dad is living with their cancer.

Loss is what happens; grief is how we feel

about it.

You can think of loss as any event or thing

that changes the way things have been. It is
sometimes described as that point in time after
which everything is different.

For many of you the first time this happens is

when you are told about your parent’s cancer.
Life may never be the same again. Or it can
happen at other times along the cancer journey.

Some losses will really knock you about while

others may not have such a big impact.

It depends on what sort of changes it will mean

for your life and how you feel about them.

Examples of losses that you may experience as

a result of your parent’s cancer:

t

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can’t go out as much or you don’t feel like
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are used to.

38

nowWhat_body15-46.indd 38 24/03/10 1:55 PM

 Heart Stuff/Grief and loss

t

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there is a change in your
financial situation.

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hard because you need to
The most useful piece of
take care of your parent.
information that I got was
t

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It wasn’t my fault that the cancer happened.
sport with you because of It’s reassuring that you are not to blame for it.
their treatment.

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to grow up a lot and you
miss out on being just a These are some of the changes you may notice if
regular kid. you are experiencing grief and loss:
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cancelled because of to sleep.
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you have lost because of what
may have lost.
cancer can do to your family.
Putting a lid on it and hoping it will go away isn’t
Grief is a personal thing and
always the best way to deal with it. (Have you
no two people experience it
gotten the message yet that this is the same
the same way. Just like
for all sorts of things that you experience when
feelings, there is no right or
living with a parent who has cancer?)
wrong way to do it.
Check out these other sections in the book
What is important is to
for ways to take care of yourself:
recognise when you may be
experiencing grief and to learn “What’s a coping strategy?”, “All about you”
positive ways to deal with it. and “Getting support” will give you more info.

39

nowWhat_body15-46.indd 39 24/03/10 1:55 PM

 Heart Stuff/Beyond cancer

much time to even think about what will happen

when the doctors finally say that the treatment
has finished.

The end of treatment can bring up a whole bunch

of emotions, much like when your parent was
first diagnosed.

You might be so relieved that it’s over and then

get mad when you realise that it really isn’t.

Even when the cancer treatment has finished

there can be short and long term side effects
which can continue to have an impact on
your family.

Getting over cancer treatment takes time.

In general, it will take longer for your parent
to recover than the time it took to treat them.
This can be very frustrating for you and your
mum or dad.
Thinking too far ahead Cancer and its treatment can leave the body
is generally pretty hard pretty beaten up (not to mention the mind).
when you are young, Your mum or dad may find they have to deal with:
even on the good days.
When mum or dad gets t
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You have probably been so t
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focused on doctors, drugs and problems. These can pop up months or years
getting by that you haven’t had after treatment

40

nowWhat_body15-46.indd 40 24/03/10 1:55 PM

 Heart Stuff/Beyond cancer

There will certainly be a time

of re-adjustment. You may feel
that you have just got the hang
t
EFBMJOH
XJUI
ZPVS
QBSFOUT
of the new responsibilities and
physical changes; they may then suddenly you don’t have
look different, have scars, to do them anymore. You may
be bald or their hair is not find that you have more time
the same, or they may on your hands or that your
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even be missing an arm, mum and dad are around more
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For you, there can be a real Just like all the other phases
– especially if they had
sense of loss (and possibly that you have gone through
radiotherapy to the head
anger) that your parent is not so far, it will take some
and neck
the same person they were negotiation, heaps of patience
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weak and sick

41

nowWhat_body15-46.indd 41 24/03/10 1:55 PM

 Heart Stuff/If cancer returns

ANC

NS C

ER
R
E
TU R

Some of you may have to face the fact that your mum or dad’s
cancer has come back. This can be really tough and come as a
big shock. Many of the emotions you felt when you first heard
they had cancer will come crashing back. Understanding what it
means can help.

What is a cancer recurrence/ Where does cancer

relapse? recur?
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BSF

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PG
SFDVSSFODF
the cancer returns after your parent has been in
Local recurrence:
remission. (When there is no evidence of cancer
The cancer reappears in the
in the body). This happens because sometimes
same place it was first found,
some cancer cells were left behind despite
or very close by. The lymph
the treatment that they received or brand new
nodes or other parts of the body
cancer cells develop.
are not affected.
A cancer recurrence can mean it’s the same
Regional recurrence:
cancer coming back or in rare cases the cancer
This happens in the lymph
may be a completely new cancer.
nodes and the tissue in the
area of the original cancer.

Distance recurrence:
This is when the cancer has
spread (metastasised) to other
areas in the body.

42

nowWhat_body15-46.indd 42 24/03/10 1:55 PM

 Heart Stuff/If cancer returns

Top Tips
Do your best to be positive
for yourself and your family

Can cancer recurrences be

treated?
Local recurrences may still be curable however
cancers that recur at a site distant from where the
original cancer occurred may be more difficult to
treat.

What treatments your mum or dad receive or

choose to receive will depend on things like where
the recurrence is and what they may be prepared to
go through again.

This may be really hard for you as you may feel like
you have no control over the decisions that your
parent makes and you may be very scared about
what will happen.

Like all the other stages you have been through

with your parent’s cancer, getting the right
information is really important.

Ask people to be honest with you about what is

happening.

43

nowWhat_body15-46.indd 43 24/03/10 1:55 PM

 Heart Stuff/If treatment doesn’t work

This stage is called palliative You might even feel despair

care or palliative treatment. – an emotion that you’ve
never felt before. It is just
It is important to remember that
a feeling of hopelessness,
just because your mum or dad
like you are completely lost
is receiving palliative care this
and useless. This is a really
doesn’t necessarily mean that
tough one to cope with.
they are going to die soon.
This stage can last from as This time sucks so bad you
Sometimes it doesn’t
little as a week to a year might feel completely alone
matter how hard your
or more. Each situation is at times, really angry with the
parent fought, how
different. Again, make sure world, your parent, the doctor,
positive you all have
you ask someone you trust the nurse or some random
been or how many
to explain exactly what is walking down the street –
different treatments
going on for your parent. because they look healthy and
the doctors tried, some
it feels really unfair. Yep
people cannot be cured. During this time you and your
it feels like that because it is.
family will have to face a lot
If this is the case, active
of new challenges. But don’t let that stop you from
treatment and testing will be
spending time with your parent,
stopped and your mum or dad Some of the emotions and
having fun, laughing, crying
will be given medicines for pain feelings that you had when you
and sharing your thoughts
and to relieve other symptoms first found out about the cancer
and feelings with them.
like nausea and vomiting. may come back but there are
These medicines are aimed also going to be a whole bunch Remember: There is no right
at making your parent of new ones and they could or wrong way to feel or act
as comfortable as possible. be a lot stronger than before. when your parent is dying.

44

nowWhat_body15-46.indd 44 24/03/10 1:55 PM

 Heart Stuff/If treatment doesn’t work

What is really important at this time is to ask as

many questions as you need to. Ask your mum
or dad, doctors, nurses, social workers.

Ask people to be honest with you. They

may think that you can’t handle it, but you
know that you can and they will see that.

Don’t expect to get it right, everyone is trying At the start I really

to do their best in a really tough situation. wish I knew...
Be patient with each other.
how difficult this would be.
Just keep talking to each other and know that
your mum or dad still love you and don’t want to
say goodbye and that the love will never stop.
This could well be your toughest question
Some of you may want to make something
ever. This is when a group like CanTeen
together with your parent, maybe a picture,
(where you can connect with other young
a scrap book, a video or something that you
people who have faced the same crappy
will treasure and that is just between you two.
outcome), or a professional counsellor or
Remember: Only do what feels psychologist could be of most use.
comfortable and right for you.
“What happens when…” is a really scary
And at this stage you will start to wonder, moment for everyone. You will need some help
“What happens when…”. And there will be for yourself. You will need to be there to help
millions of “What happens when…” questions others like your other parent and siblings.
for you, other family members and your parent. You will need to have space and time. Asking
But most of all, you are going to wonder “What can be hard – not asking can be even harder.
happens when I don’t have the person with me
All the tips and suggestions in the rest of
to love, and be loved by, anymore?”.
the book are just as useful at this time.
Get support, take care of yourself, and be
aware of danger signs if it’s all getting too
much and remember to be easy on yourself.

er:
emb ht or
For those of you who need more
R e m information about this stage in the journey
o rig r
e is n eel o
Ther way to f arent www.nowwhat.org.au has more detail on this.
g p
wron en your
w h in .
g
act is dy

45

nowWhat_body15-46.indd 45 24/03/10 1:55 PM

 Practical Stuff/School, study, work

You will have worked out by now that the t
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rest of the world doesn’t stop because your HFU
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don’t go away, but trying to juggle it all may
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If you’re in school it forms a big chunk of your life.
Having a parent with cancer can affect you at school in While you might not want to be
lots of ways: USFBUFE
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your teachers know what is
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BSPVOE
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47

nowWhat_body47-54.indd 47 10/02/10 4:44 PM

 Practical Stuff/School, study, work

Years 11 & 12 Work *G
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work mates about your parent’s on page 76 for more info.
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cancer is completely up to
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leave or you can take sick offer to help you get through
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absolute last resort) if you have deal with things before
to care for your parent or take they hit crisis point.
them for treatment.

One thing I have learnt

from this experience is...

that life is what you make of it.

48

nowWhat_body47-54.indd 48 10/02/10 4:44 PM

 Practical Stuff/Finances

From our experience 5IJOHT
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we know that there
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49

nowWhat_body47-54.indd 49 10/02/10 4:44 PM

 Practical Stuff/Finances

Budgeting
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and it is OK not to know
how to do things. Don’t be
the
negatives
no loo paper) isn’t so smart. afraid to ask for help.

50

nowWhat_body47-54.indd 50 10/02/10 4:44 PM

 Practical Stuff/Feed yourself

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51

nowWhat_body47-54.indd 51 10/02/10 4:44 PM

 Practical Stuff/Feed yourself

Find a way to escape – be it reading, listening to music or do something like drawing or

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sources like tofu are pretty easy family when your parent
to use. feels better.

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52

nowWhat_body47-54.indd 52 10/02/10 4:44 PM

 Practical Stuff/Feed yourself

Ingredients
2 teaspoons olive oil


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400 g lean beef mince

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53

nowWhat_body47-54.indd 53 10/02/10 4:44 PM

 Practical Stuff/Feed yourself

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how to do more things, because I help so
chocolate melts.
much and I know more things than some of
the girls in my class.

54

nowWhat_body47-54.indd 54 10/02/10 4:44 PM

 Med Stuff/What cancer is that?

There are over 100 different

diseases that are referred to as
cancer. This table lists the most
common adult cancers. If your
parent’s cancer is not listed you
may need to ask your parents, the
doctors or nurses or check out the
websites listed on page 78 to find
out more.

Type of cancer Description Incidence Treatment

Bowel cancer Bowel cancer can grow from Bowel cancer is the Bowel cancer is highly
either the inner lining of the most common form of treatable if found early
bowel or from a small raised cancer diagnosed in even if it spreads to
area called a polyp. Polyps are Australia. lymph nodes. If it has
usually harmless, but some can spread to other organs
become cancerous (malignant) such as the liver it is
and spread. more difficult to treat
and cure. Treatment
involves surgery and
then occasionally
chemotherapy
or radiotherapy
depending on the
stage of the disease.

Breast cancer Breast cancer develops when Breast cancer is the Treatment for breast
some of the cells in the breast most common form of cancer usually depends
begin to grow out of control. A cancer affecting women on where the cancer is,
cancerous growth then appears in Australia. It also whether it has spread,
somewhere inside the breast. It is affects men. the cancer’s growth
commonly detected by feeling a rate and the person’s
lump in the breast or surrounding general status. Most
tissue. Diagnosis is usually breast cancers are
confirmed by a mammogram, treated either by
ultrasound or biopsy. surgery, radiotherapy,
chemotherapy and
hormone replacement
therapy.

55

nowWhat_body55-68.indd 55 3/12/08 11:41:00 AM

 Med Stuff/What cancer is that?

Type of cancer Description Incidence Treatment

Lung cancer Lung cancer is a cancer of the Lung cancer is the third Small cell cancer of
cells in the lungs. There are two most common cancer the lungs is treated
types of lung cancer: small cell in men and the fifth in with chemotherapy
and non-small cell. women in Australia. and radiotherapy.
Non-small cell cancer
usually requires a
combination of surgery,
chemotherapy &
radiotherapy.

Prostate Prostate cancer develops when Prostate cancer is the Treatment depends
cancer the cells in the prostate gland most common form of on age, how fast the
form a tumour. (The prostate is a cancer in Australian tumour is growing
small gland the size of a walnut men. and whether it has
that sits below the bladder and spread. The most
surrounds the tube that carries common treatment
urine from the bladder through includes surgery and
the penis.) Most prostate cancer radiotherapy. If the
forms only within the prostate cancer has spread
and it is slow-growing compared beyond the prostate
to other cancers. Therefore it then hormone therapy
can be detected earlier. It can may be used.
spread to other parts of the body,
and this is known as advanced
prostate cancer.

The most useful piece of

information that I got was...
what was going to happen,
the side effects and where the
cancer was.

56

nowWhat_body55-68.indd 56 3/12/08 11:41:00 AM

 Med Stuff/What cancer is that?

Type of cancer Description Treatment

Leukaemia Leukaemia is cancer of the white blood

cells (WBCs). Bone marrow and other
blood forming organs produce abnormal
numbers of white blood cells, stopping
the production of normal blood cells.

Acute ALL increases the number of WBCs called Treatment plans for ALL usually
lymphoblastic lymphocytes. include chemotherapy and
leukaemia radiotherapy. This can be for up to
(ALL) 2 years. Some patients may also
require a bone marrow transplant
(BMT).

Acute myeloid AML increases the number of abnormal Treatment plans for AML
leukaemia WBCs called myeloid cells. usually include 6 months of
(AML) chemotherapy with 2-3 drugs in
each course of treatment lasting
5-10 days. 4-5 courses of chemo
are given on a monthly basis.
Depending on the success of
chemotherapy a BMT may be
necessary.

Lymphoma Lymphoma is cancer of the lymphatic

system, which is part of the immune
system that protects the body against
infection and disease.

Hodgkin’s Cancer of the lymphatic system. Tumours Treatment depends on the stage
lymphoma affect the lymph nodes as lymphoma cells of lymphoma. Most people need a
lodge in the system causing a lump. These combination of chemotherapy and
are normally close to the body’s surface, radiotherapy.
such as in the armpit and neck.

Non-Hodgkin’s Cancer of the lymphatic system that does not The most common treatment
lymphoma have the features of Hodgkin’s disease. NHL for NHL is chemotherapy and
(NHL) affects the lymph nodes deeper inside the occasionally radiotherapy. There
body. There are different types of NHL, the can be some short-term and
two main types being B-cell NHL and T-cell long-term side effects from NHL
NHL. B-cell NHL usually affects the neck, treatment.
head, throat and abdomen whereas T-cell
affects the lymph nodes in the chest.

57

nowWhat_body55-68.indd 57 3/12/08 11:41:00 AM

 Med Stuff/What cancer is that?

Top Tips Don’t let others keep on giving you bad advice

Type of cancer Description Treatment

CNS Tumours Cancers of the brain and spinal cord.

Brain tumours There are many different types of brain Some brain tumours are more
tumours. The most common tumours grow serious than others and require
from glial cells, which are the support cells more aggressive therapy.
in the brain. Treatment usually involves
surgery to remove the tumour, and
then radiotherapy and possibly
chemotherapy, depending on the
outcome of the surgery.

Other cancers
or tumours
Germ cell These tumours develop in the reproductive Most commonly involves surgery
tumours organs (testicles and ovaries). They can to remove the tumour then
travel to other parts of the body including chemotherapy.
the chest, abdomen and brain. The most
common germ cell tumours are testicular,
sacral, chest and ovarian.

Melanoma Melanoma starts from melanocytes, the cells Melanomas are always removed
in the skin that produce the skin pigment by surgery. Radiotherapy may
or colour. Melanoma grows quickly which also be required depending on the
means it can spread to the lower layer of stage of melanoma and whether
skin then into the body and other systems. it has spread to other organs.

Thyroid Cancer Thyroid cancer affects the thyroid gland Treatment may involve surgery,
which is located in the neck. There are radiotherapy, chemotherapy and
different types of thyroid cancer, categorised hormone therapy.
by growth rate, malignancy and type of cells
affected.

58

nowWhat_body55-68.indd 58 3/12/08 11:41:00 AM

 Med Stuff/Tests and more

These are some of the most common tests that are used in the
diagnosis and treatment of cancer.

Test What for What happens

Biopsy Used to find out whether a tumour or A doctor removes a sample from
abnormality is cancer. Benign means it is not a person using one of two ways:
cancer. Malignant means that it is cancer. with a long needle (needle biopsy)
or by making a small cut (surgical
biopsy).

Blood test An examination of the blood to see whether A nurse or technician inserts a
the balance of the cells and chemicals is needle into a vein, usually in the
normal. arm. Then he or she draws blood.

Bone marrow Collects a small sample of cells from inside a A needle is used to remove a small
aspiration bone to be examined under a microscope to sample of tissue from a bone
assist in diagnosing leukaemia and other blood (usually the hip bone).
disorders. It can also help to see if the cancer
has spread.

CAT Uses x-rays and a computer to produce three The patient lies flat on a table,
(computerised dimensional (3-D) images of the inside of the which moves through a large tube
axial tomography) body so the doctors can look for tumours and while a series of x-rays is taken.
or CT scan can also guide the surgeon to the right spot
for a biopsy.

59

nowWhat_body55-68.indd 59 3/12/08 11:41:00 AM

 Med Stuff/Tests and more

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MRI (magnetic Uses radio and magnetic waves to make The patient lies flat on a table,
resonance images of organs and other tissues inside the which moves through a large tube
imaging) body so the doctor can make a more definite while an MRI machine scans the
diagnosis. body for several minutes.

PET scan Uses computerised pictures of areas inside the The patient gets an injection
(positron body to find cancer cells. and then a machine takes
emission computerized pictures of areas
topography) inside the body.

Spinal tap Collects a sample of the fluid inside the spine A needle is used to remove fluid
(lumbar puncture) to be examined under a microscope. The doctor from the spine in the lower back.
does this to check for infections or the build up
of white blood cells or protein.

Ultrasound Uses high-frequency sound waves to make A technician moves a small

(ultrasonography) images of internal organs and other tissues handheld device over an area
inside the body. on the patient’s body. An image
appears on the computer screen.

X-ray Takes a picture of the inside of the body using The patient is placed in front of the
high-energy waves. x-ray machine or lies on a table.

60

nowWhat_body55-68.indd 60 3/12/08 11:41:00 AM

 Med Stuff/Treatments decoded

3s3h7 ra3h ylbab0rp ll1w u0Y You will probably hear these terms
7n3rap ru0y el1hw 70l a d3su 5mr37 used a lot while your parent is
.d37a3r7 gn13b s1 being treated.
.3ra y3h7 7ahw 5n1alpx3 7rahc 51h7 This chart explains what they are.

Treatment What is it? Side effects

Chemotherapy This is the most common form of cancer Side effects vary from person to
or ‘chemo’ treatment. Chemo uses drugs, called person, from one treatment to the
cytotoxics, to kill or slow the growth of cancer next and depending on the type of
cells. While these drugs stop the cancer cells treatment. The most common are
growing and multiplying they affect normal, nausea and vomiting, hair loss, mouth
healthy cells in the process. That’s why ulcers, loss of appetite and tiredness.
healthy fast growing cells such as the ones in These are usually temporary and
your hair and inside your mouth are damaged disappear a few weeks after
by chemo. treatment stops. Some begin within
2-4 hours of the first injection and
some happen a few weeks after
treatment.

Radiotherapy Radiotherapy uses high energy x-rays, gamma The side effects of radiotherapy
or ‘radio’ cells or electrons to kill cancer cells, or injure will depend on which part of the
them so they cannot multiply, in a specific part body is being treated. One of the
of the body. It can be used to treat the original most common is tiredness and lack
(primary) cancer and to treat symptoms of of energy This gets worse as the
cancer which has spread. The radiation will treatment goes on but gradually
affect all cells in the area, however, normal improves after treatment has finished.
cells are better able than cancer cells to resist Other side effects include; skin
or recover from its effects. problems, hair loss, loss of appetite,
nausea and diarrhoea and chest
problems.

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 Med Stuff/Treatments decoded

Treatment What is it? Side effects

Hormone Hormones are chemicals produced in glands Side effects from this treatment can
Therapy that help regulate reproduction and growth. differ for men and women. The most
Examples of hormones include insulin, common ones are; tiredness, mood
oestrogen and testosterone. Some cancers swings, weight gain, nausea and hot
grow in response to hormones (or respond to flushes.
changes in body hormones). Most hormonal
therapies work by decreasing the amount of
hormone in the body or by stopping the cancer
cells from getting the hormones. By doing this,
hormonal therapies can help reduce the size
of the cancer and slow down the spread of
the cancer.

Surgery Surgery involves the cancer being removed The side effects from surgery are
while the person is under general anaesthetic the same as any other operation;
or sometimes using just a local anaesthetic. some pain and discomfort. Other side
Tumours are removed this way. For some effects will depend on the type of
people with bone or organ cancer it may surgery and what was done during
be necessary to remove tissue from around the operation.
the cancer to ensure that it is all remove.
Sometimes the whole organ may be removed
or a limb amputated.

Complementary Complementary therapies are treatments that There are few side effects from
and Alternative are not part of the conventional treatment complementary therapies.
Treatment routine for cancer (like the ones mentioned
With alternative treatments it is not
above). They are not scientifically proven, but
easy to know what the side effects
complementary therapies such as relaxation,
will be. It may be best to check this
meditation, massage therapy and counselling,
out with whoever is recommending
can help deal with the emotional and physical
the treatments.
impact of the disease and treatment side
effects. They can be used together with the
other treatments.
Alternative treatments are used instead of
conventional treatment. Again they have not
been scientifically proven to treat cancer.
Examples include; high doses of vitamins,
special diets, magnets or drinking large
amounts of vegetable juices.

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 Med Stuff/Who is that person?

Your parent will be treated by a whole team of people. Sometimes trying

to remember who does what can be a bit confusing. This chart will help.
The blank column is for you to write in the names of the people who are
looking after your parent.
There may be more than one person who is doing the same job or your mum or dad may not have
all of these people on their team.

Who are they? What do they do? Their name

Medical Team
Medical A doctor specialising in diagnosing and treating
Oncologist cancer patients.

Radiation A doctor specialising in radiation to treat

Oncologist cancer. This doctor will decide if radiation is an
appropriate treatment, will choose the best form
of radiation treatment and then administer it.

Surgical A surgeon who specialises in removing cancers

Oncologist via an operation.

Radiologist A specialist doctor who interprets X-rays, MRI

scans and CAT scans to get pictures of the body.

Oncology Nurse A registered nurse with additional education and

Specialist training in cancer.

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 Med Stuff/Who is that person?

Who are they? What do they do? Their name

Registered Nurse A nurse who provides regular care in the hospital

or outpatient clinic.

Cancer Care A nurse who is the main point of contact and

Coordinator helps patients and families communicate
and deal with the different members of their
treatment team.

Multidisciplinary
team
Social Worker A trained professional who helps patients and
their families adjust to life with cancer and
treatments. They can help with things like support
services, financial assistance and other practical
issues.

Clinical A professionally-trained therapist who helps

Psychologist with emotional and intellectual well-being during
cancer diagnosis and treatment.

Dietician A professional who provides information to

patients and their families about nutritional needs
related to their cancer and treatment.

Pharmacist A professional who is knowledgeable about

drugs and medications that may form part of your
parent’s cancer treatment

Physiotherapist A professional who helps with recovering

physical movement, like walking, bending and
strengthening and may help with your parent’s
recovery after surgery.

The most useful piece of information

that I got was...
don’t smoke, eat healthily, exercise – be healthy in
mind, body, and soul, and smile.

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 Med Stuff/Glossary

Cancer has a whole language of its own. Some of the terms you may
understand, some you may never need to know and some will become
part of your everyday language.
Use this list to work out what the medical team is talking about (and to impress your friends).

The highlighted words are also defined in the list.

Allogenic: Tissue from a matched donor (often Autologous: Tissue from oneself (the opposite
referred to with bone marrow transfusions). of allogenic).
Alopecia: The medical term for hair Benign: Non-cancer or non-malignant. Can’t
loss. Alopecia often occurs as a result spread to other parts of the body.
of chemotherapy.
Bilateral: On both sides.
Anaemia: A condition where there is an
Biopsy: The removal of a small sample of tissue
insufficient amount of red blood cells in the body.
from the body. This sample is then viewed
It can cause tiredness and fatigue.
under a microscope. A biopsy helps doctors to
Anaesthetic: A drug given to a patient to stop diagnose disease.
them feeling pain during a procedure. It can be
Blood: Circulates around the body through
given as a local anaesthetic to numb the area or
arteries and veins. It carries all different
as a general anaesthetic to knock the person out!
substances such as food, oxygen and chemicals
Analgesic: A drug that relieves pain. to the body’s cells, and helps to fight infection.
Blood consists of white blood cells, red blood
Antibiotics: Drugs used to treat or prevent
cells and platelets suspended in a liquid
an infection.
called plasma.
Anti-emetics: Drugs that help control and
Blood count or full blood count (FBC):
prevent nausea and vomiting.
Different numbers of the types of blood cells in
Aspiration: Removing fluid from the body with the body.
a needle.

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 Med Stuff/Glossary

Blood transfusion: Red blood Clinical trial: Research that involves giving
cells given through the IV. The medications to patients and studying the results.
blood is from another person. The aim of a clinical trial is to find better ways to
treat or prevent disease.
Bone marrow: The soft,
spongy area in the middle CT scan: A procedure that takes lots of x-rays of
of bones where red and the body from all different angles so that a good
white blood cells and platelets picture can be formed.
are made.
Cytotoxic drugs: Drugs that are given that
Bone Marrow Biopsy: damage or kill off cancer cells.
The removal of a small amount
Diagnosis: The identification of a person’s
of bone marrow, usually from
disease.
the hip.
Donor: The person giving their tissue or organ to
Cancer: A general term for a
another person.
large group of diseases that
have uncontrolled growth and External beam irradiation: A common form of
spread of abnormal cells. radiation treatment.

Carcinoma: Cancer that Fatigue: A feeling of tiredness that isn’t fixed

forms in the tissue at the base by sleep.
of the skin that lines the
Frozen section: A sample of tissue is taken
body’s organs.
and then frozen quickly so it can be examined
Catheter: A small tube that immediately under a microscope.
can be inserted into the
body for removal or injection
of fluids.

Central line: A catheter placed

into a vein in the chest. It is
used to give IV fluids, blood
products and take blood counts.

Chemotherapy: The use of

special (cytotoxic) drugs to treat
One thing I have learnt from
cancer by killing cancer cells or this experience is...
slowing the spread of the cells. that I am never alone and I have learnt to be
strong emotionally and mentally.

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 Med Stuff/Glossary

Localised cancer: Cancer that has not spread

to other parts of the body.

Lymph: A clear fluid that flows through the body

carrying cells through the lymphatic system to
Graft: Healthy tissue is taken from a part help fight infection.
of the body or from another healthy person
and transplanted to replace diseased or Lymph nodes: Small, bean shaped structures
injured tissue. that filter the lymph to remove bacteria and other
cells, such as cancer cells.
Haemoglobin: The component of red blood
cells that carry oxygen. Lymphoedema: The swelling of an arm, leg or
other part of the body because of an abnormal
Haematology: The type of medicine that build-up of a fluid called lymph in the body
studies the blood. The doctor that specialises tissues. This sometimes happens if the cancer
in this is called a haematologist. blocks the drainage of fluid through lymph
Hormone: A substance made by a gland that system. It can also occur when the lymph nodes
helps to regulate reproduction, metabolism have been removed by surgery or damaged by
and growth. cancer treatments such as radiotherapy.

Immune system: The network of cells and Malignant: Cancerous. A malignant tumour
organs that help to defend the body against is likely to spread to other parts of the body if
foreign invaders like germs left untreated.

Immuno-compromised: Weakening of the Metastasis: A secondary tumour that has

immune system often caused by disease or spread from the primary site through the
treatment. lymphatic or blood system.

Infusion: Slow injection of a fluid into a vein Neutropaenia: An abnormal decrease in the
or tissue. number of neutrophils, a type of white blood cell.

Intravenous: Giving fluids, drugs or blood Oedema: Swelling caused by an accumulation

directly into a vein. of fluid in the body or tissues.

Limb salvage surgery: When the original bone

(or part of the bone) is replaced with an artificial
(prosthetic) bone or bone from another part of
the body.

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 Med Stuff/Glossary

Oncologist: A doctor who Staging: A way to identify the

specialises in the treatment extent of disease. It is then
of cancer. used to determine treatment.

Palliative Care: Treatment Stem cells: Immature cells

Ask questions even if you are scared to do so

that focuses on relieving the found in the bone marrow from
side effects or symptoms of which blood cells are formed.
a disease, but will not cure it.
Survival rate: The percentage
Plasma: The fluid portion of of people who are still alive
the blood in which cells and after a particular length of time
platelets are found. with a certain disease.

Platelets: Part of the blood Terminal: When a disease

that stops bleeding by aiding cannot be cured.
blood clotting.
Thrombocytopaenia:
Prosthesis: Artificial A decrease in the number of
replacement for a body part platelets in the blood, causing
that has been removed. blood to take longer to clot.
eg. arm, leg, breast.
Total body irradiation:
Radiation: Energy in the form Radiotherapy to the whole
of radio waves that can injure body, usually given prior to
and destroy cells, particularly bone marrow transplants.
cancer cells.
Toxicity: Harmful side effects
Red blood cells: Cells that caused by a drug.
contain haemoglobin, which
Tumour: An abnormal growth
carries oxygen around the body.
in the body.
Relapse: The return of the
Tumour marker: A substance
disease after treatment and a
found in the blood produced by
time of improvement.
a tumour, which can indicate
Remission: The absence of how treatment is working.
Top Tips

signs and symptoms of active

White blood cells: Cells in
disease.
the blood that help to fight
infection.

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 Handy Stuff/Where to get help

www.cancer.org.au
The Cancer Council website has some
really good, clear information on lots
of things to do with cancer including
different types of cancers, treatments
and side effects. From this site you can
access the Cancer Councils in your state

www.leukaemia.org.au
The Leukaemia Foundation provides
information and practical support for
patients and families who are living with
leukaemia, lymphomas, myeloma and
other blood disorders.

www.reachout.com.au
A site especially for young people going
through tough times. Reach Out has fact
These are organisations and websites that sheets on depression, self harm, drug
can help you deal with lots of things to do and alcohol as well as grief and loss.
with living with a parent who has cancer.
We have included some of the most well www.cancer.gov/cancertopics
known and reliable sources for you. An American site that has lots of
information on a wide range of cancer
Of course you can search for other resources on the net, topics. It has reliable information
but just remember the “Good Googling Tips” (on page on genetics and cancer and dealing
12) to make sure that what you find is going to help. with emotional stuff. Remember
Websites it is written more for adults.
www.nowwhat.org.au www.riprap.org.uk
This website is designed for all young people living with A UK site that is about supporting
cancer. You can access the information from the book as well young people living with a
as more detailed information on some topics. It also has other parent who has cancer.
useful resources, stories, blogs and forums to support you.
www.myparentscancer.com.au
www.canteen.org.au This is mainly about young people
CanTeen is a fantastic organisation for young people 12-24 who have a mother with breast
who have a parent who has cancer (or a brother or sister or cancer, but lots of the information
they themselves have cancer). They run a whole lot of is relevant for any cancer. A great
programs that are aimed at linking young people site with information on things like
together who share similar experiences. They also healthy eating, drugs and alcohol,
work with bereaved siblings and offspring. relationships and money and finances.

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 Handy Stuff/Where to get help

www.kidshelp.com.au www.youngcarers.net.au www.workplace.

This has a free and confidential This organisation supports gov.au/workplace/
on-line counselling service young people who are caring Programmes/WorkFamily/
as well as other helpful for a parent who is mentally Carersleave.htm
information on dealing or physically ill. They run This is the link for information on
with tough things. support programs and provide taking leave to care for a parent.
information and links to other
www.lifeline.org.au
services. You can access the
This is a national organisation
Young Carers Association in Telephone numbers
that has useful information
your state from this site. Kids Helpline
on counselling, health,
accommodation and a www.younggourmet.com 1800 55 1800
whole lot of other services. This is a great website LifeLine
to do with food, cooking 13 11 14
www.beyondblue.
and all things to do with
org.au/ybblue Cancer Help Line
eating. There are recipes,
This is the youth website 13 11 20
tips and competitions.
of beyondblue: the national
CanTeen
depression initiative. It has www.centrelink.gov.au
1800 226 833
links to other support This is where you can get
organisations and also has all sorts of information on
a list of doctors who have Government allowances
experience in dealing with and financial support.
depression. There are also
www.lawstuff.org.au
fact sheets on depression.
If you have questions relating
www.skylight.org.nz to legal matters this website
A fantastic website with loads provides lots of answers and
of stuff that is helpful and also links other legal sites.
supportive for young people
going through a rough time.

One thing I have learnt from

this experience is...
how strong my family really is and how we will
do anything for each other.

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 Handy Stuff/Bibliography

When Your Parent has Cancer

– A Guide for Teens
The following National Cancer Institute
books, websites US Department of Health and
and publications Human Resources
have been useful
in putting this Hipp,E. (1995) Help For the Hard
resource kit Times – Getting Through Loss.
together: USA: Hazelden

Vercoe, E., Abramowski,

K. (2004) The Grief Book –
strategies for young people.
Australia: black dog books.

www.riprap.org.uk
A website developed by the
team at the Sheffield Palliative
Care Studies Group

www.myparentscancer.com.au
The National Breast Cancer
Centre’s website for young
people with a parent who has
breast cancer.

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Acknowledgements
Now What? Dealing with your parent’s cancer.

Free copies of this book are available by calling CanTeen on 1800 226 833 or by
going to www.canteen.org.au

We acknowledge the contribution of both members and staff from CanTeen in

developing this resource.

We thank reviewers of this booklet: Dr Pandora Patterson, Professor Chris

O’Brien, Dr Micheal Carr-Gregg, Alyssa White & Laura Weuller from the NSW
Cancer Council, Myranda Hassler Long, Jacinta Chandler, Jade Nixon, Simon
Treadgold, Claire Wyatt, Dr Claire Treadgold.

Written by: Pauline Don

Designed by: Devotion
Printed by: Imago Productions

This book was developed and funded by CanTeen, the Australian organisation for
young people living with cancer.

CanTeen would like to thank the Sony Foundation for their generous financial
support for the original development of this project.

If you would like to support the work of CanTeen call the below number or go to
the CanTeen website.

CanTeen Australia
GPO Box 3821, Sydney NSW 2000
Free Call: 1800 226 833
ABN: 77 052 040 516

This book is intended as a general introduction to the topic and should not be
seen as a substitute for advice from doctors or other health professionals. All
care is taken to ensure that the information contained here is accurate at the
time of publication.