Lesson 1 Getting to Know Yourself
Getting to Know Your Anger
Don’t Let Anger Be Your Boss
It is natural to feel angry from time to time; it
Do you ever find yourself suddenly feeling angry?
doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you.
One moment you’re fine, and the next moment
Anger can sometimes be a useful tool. For example,
you’re slamming doors or rolling your eyes at your
an angry but open conversation can resolve a
parents. Some people may think you just have a bad
conflict between friends. The important thing is to
attitude or are getting too upset about a small
manage your anger so that it does not turn into
problem. However, these feelings don’t simply come
aggressive or violent behavior. This does not mean
from stress about everyday life.
that you should stop yourself from feeling angry.
Rather, you should express it in a productive way.
Where does adolescent anger come from?
Ask yourself some questions about your angry
As a teen, you may feel like an adult, but your brain feelings. This can help you to better understand your
is still growing. In your brain, there is a part that is anger.
responsible for solving problems and controlling your
emotions. In your teen years, this part is still in Questions to Ask Yourself
development. The changes in your brain lead you
How often do I feel angry?
toward independence, social engagement, and
What situations make me feel the most intense
creativity. At the same time, however, you may feel
anger?
confused about who you are. You may also be more
Is my anger directed at anyone or anything in
sensitive to unfairness. Furthermore, your body is
particular?
flowing with hormones. This significantly affects your
Do I focus on the causes of my anger instead of
mood. The combination of these factors intensifies
solutions?
your strong emotions.
Can I control my emotions when I get angry?
How do I react and behave when I get angry?
First Aid to Calm Yourself Down Finding Proper Coping Skills
You need to learn how to deal with anger in a In some cases, the strategies mentioned above may
socially appropriate way. Remember: anger is a not be enough, so you may need to find proper
feeling, but behavior is a choice. The first step is coping skills for your personal situation. Without the
recognizing the physical signs of anger. It is possible right coping skills, you may find yourself becoming
to recognize those signs in advance. They include an verbally or even physically aggressive. Explore various
increased heart rate, a flushed face, and the strategies to discover what is best for you, such as
clenching of your fists. When these things happen, taking a walk, drawing a picture, or writing down
take action to reduce your anger. For example, you things that come to your mind. You can also try to
could try taking a break to organize your thoughts find possible solutions to a problem and then
or ending a conversation before it gets too intense. compare the advantages and disadvantages of each
one. By developing problem-solving skills, you will
learn that there are many ways to solve a problem
without getting angry.
Anger is an emotion that we all experience. By
managing your anger properly, you can be the boss
of your feelings, not the other way around. This is
an important step in finding your true self and
taking control of your life.
