Brief essay on the grieving process

Mary of Lourdes Guzmán Ramírez

San Camilo Center, A.C

Educational Thanatology Course and Grief Counseling 2015-2016

Introduction

This work aims to be a brief guide on the grieving process, covering its
origins, its phases of development or evolution and its possible treatment process. Reason for
which will address various definitions of grief, John Bowlby's attachment theory
Bowlby, the stages of grief by Elizabeth Kübler-Ross and the Tasks of William Worden.

Definition of grief

The Royal Spanish Academy (2015) provides us with the following definition of the
word mourning

Duel. (From Latin dŏlus, for pain).

1. m. Pain, pity, sorrow or feeling.

2. m. Demonstrations that are made to express the feeling one has for
the death of someone.

3. m. Gathering of relatives, friends, or guests who attend the funeral home.

transportation of the corpse to the cemetery or to the funeral.

4. m. Fatigue, work. Used in pl.

In my opinion, this definition falls very short of describing what a grief is.
Therefore, for the purposes of this work, we must consider that mourning is not suffering.
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passive that a person suffers, that mourning is the process that one goes through when they have lost

something that is significantly important to him, and this loss can be both of a
a person who has passed away or from whom one has separated, as can be the case with an animal of

company, a house, health, a job, etc... and it is through this process that the person
it adapts and prepares to live without what has been lost. (Sales, 2006)

A great theory to explain grieving, the attachment theory.

In this attachment theory, Bowlby (1986) (1990) (1985) considered grief as

an extension of a general response to separation. Although initially the ideas of
this theory focuses on the relationship that exists between the infant and their mother, or the infant and their

primary caregiver, the theory was expanded to include the maintenance of relationships
reinforcement during adulthood. It is from here that it considers mourning as a form
of separation anxiety. In his research, Bowlby is able to observe that the
grief and its manifestations in healthy individuals are different from what has been suggested as
the process takes longer and healthy subjects also show many responses that
are usually considered pathological. The attachment theory also relates to the
manifestations of pathological grief with the subject's childhood experiences and with the
pattern of parental involvement.

The five stages of the grieving process

One of the most well-known works on the grieving process is 'On Death and the
"moribundos" carried out by Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross (1972) who explains to us the
five phases of the grieving process as follows:

First phase - Denial and isolation: Once the initial shock state has passed
the usual response of people is denial, unconsciously, it is not
inconceivable to recognize that we are mortal. Generally, it is much later
when the patient uses isolation more than denial.

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 Second phase - Wrath: When the first phase can no longer be maintained.
denial is replaced by feelings of anger, rage, envy, and resentment.
Logically, the following question arises: "Why me?"
Third phase - Pact: It is an attempt to postpone the facts; it includes a reward 'to
good behavior", it also sets a deadline of "expiration" imposed by oneself
and the implicit promise that nothing else will be asked if this is granted
postponement. Generally, pacts are made with God and kept secret.
Fourth phase - Depression: Insensitivity or stoicism, anger, and rage are
replaced by a great feeling of loss. At this point, two can arise
types of depression, reactive depression that occurs due to the loss of something
past and the preparatory depression that has imminent losses as its cause.
Fifth phase–Acceptance: When there has been time and one has gone through the phases
Before described, there will come a phase in which 'destiny' will not cause depression or anger.
feelings will have been expressed and losses cried over. Acceptance is nearly
devoid of feelings. It's as if the pain has disappeared, the struggle
I would have finished and the time for rest would have arrived.

Grief from a social perspective: The tasks of J. William Worden

To be more specific, from the perspective of social constructivism, grief is not

not only emotional, but it is a process that relates to how people
they build the events around them. This construction of events has
a structure that is based on the individual's cultural beliefs and values, the same
that set the standards for how an individual will express their pain.

According to Worden (1982), mourning is a process that allows the person who engages in it
rebuild their world without the lost object. This process consists of giving a new meaning to
the objects with which the person must construct their reality and are made up of the tasks
stated below:

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 1. Build a world without the lost object: The failure in this task can have
various forms ranging from a feeling of unreality or denial, to the
hallucinatory production of the lost object. In all cultures, we have rituals
that help us with the preparation of this task.
2. Make sense of the feelings associated with loss and integrate them into the
Own biography: This task consists of expressing feelings. Under conditions
the failure of this task in the early phases is considered a predictor of
complications in the grieving process. However, postponing this task can be,
a valid coping strategy in situations of great deconstruction, already
whether due to catastrophes, violence, or war.
3. Find a way to practically solve those tasks for which
execution we relied on the lost object: In conditions of peace the networks
social and family relations of those affected are modified to help them as long as
they are trained to perform new roles. In extreme situations mechanisms
institutions make society as a whole take on the burdens that the
survivors cannot endure on their own.
4. Reallocation of the lost so that it does not impede the affective investment of
other objects: The culmination of this phase actually signifies the end of the
grief work. What culminates this phase is the construction of a world that
it makes sense even though it does not have the lost object and can be inhabited by
objects worthy of being loved. It is worth mentioning that it is not a short process, Worden

he says he distrusts processes that last less than a year and that
It is not unusual for them to require two.

Thus, Worden with his tasks provides us with a perspective that implies a more positive attitude.

active on the part of the person and their environment, it is also a much gentler perspective
It does not categorize mourning as something structured that must occur in a specific order and
time, which if not fulfilled properly will be considered pathological.

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Conclusion

It cannot be assumed that all people will have sufficient resources to

to face and properly deal with a loss. Since there are continuous deaths and
Most people do not seek help for disorders stemming from it, it would seem logical.
to assume that it will be because they do not need it, from there it is deduced that the natural trend of

the duel is easy to overcome, but this is not entirely true in an important
number of cases.

Although not all grief needs to be addressed, awareness of it is important.

professionals in the fact that grief is a vital crisis with specific characteristics and
that depending on a series of concomitant factors can evolve poorly, which is why
each case I consult should be evaluated individually with care, observing a
monitoring and surveillance if there are risk factors.

Bibliography
Bowlby, J. (1985). The Affective Separation. Buenos Aires: Paidós.

Bowlby, J.

Bowlby, J. (1990). The Affective Loss. Sadness and Depression. Buenos Aires: Paidós.

Dictionary of the Spanish language. (December 7, 2015). Obtained from

http://lema.rae.es/drae/srv/search?key=duelo

On Death and Dying

Sales, P. P. (2006). Trauma, guilt, and mourning. Towards an integrative psychotherapy. Bilbao: Editorial
Desclée de Brower, s.a.

Worden, J. W. (1982). Grief Counselling and Grief Therapy. A Handbook for the Mental Practitioner.
New York: Springer.