Diocesan Natural Family Planning Ministry ● Winter/Spring 2009 ● Vol. 20, Nos.

1, 2
In This Issue…
Dignitas Personae (Instruction on Certain Dignitas Personae (Instruction
on Certain Bioethical Questions)
Bioethical Questions) – Excerpts —Excerpts. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .1

Dignitas Personae—Questions
Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith and Answers. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .2

On September 8, 2008, the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith issued the long- Where’s the Dignity? Mother of
Fourteen Becomes Media’s
awaited instruction on assisted reproductive technologies, Dignitas Personae. Below “Octomom”
are excerpts. The complete document can be read at: Helen Alvaré, J.D. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5
http://www.usccb.org/comm/Dignitaspersonae .
__________ Pope Benedict Is Right!
Susan E. Wills, J.D. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8

1. The dignity of a person must be recognized in every human being from Doctor, Nurse, Medical Students Call
for Conscience Protection
conception to natural death. This fundamental principle expresses a great Don Clemmer. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9

“yes” to human life and must be at the center of ethical reflection on The Good Father—on the Manly
biomedical research, which has an ever greater importance in today’s world. Character of St. Joseph
Joseph R. Fornieri, PhD. . . . . . . . . . . .10

“Be her Joseph!”

3. In presenting principles and moral evaluations regarding biomedical Tom Mealey. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .12
research on human life, the Catholic Church draws upon the light both of
NFP HALL OF FAME—
reason and of faith and seeks to set forth an integral vision of man and his
vocation, capable of incorporating everything that is good in human activity, A Pioneer in NFP Science—Dr.
Kevin Hume . . . . . . . . . . . . . .13
as well as in various cultural and religious traditions which not infrequently
demonstrate a great reverence for life. Bishop George H. Speltz, Diocese
of St. Cloud
Sheila Reineke . . . . . . . . . . . .14
3. The Magisterium also seeks to offer a word of support and encouragement
Msgr. William Smith, Defender
for the perspective on culture which considers science an invaluable service of Life
to the integral good of the life and dignity of every human being. The Church Brian Caulfield . . . . . . . . . . . .15

therefore views scientific research with hope and desires that many Christians COORDINATORS’ CORNER--
will dedicate themselves to the progress of biomedicine and will bear witness Teaching the Non-Traditional Couple
Misty Mealey . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16
to their faith in this field.
Baby Paul's Heart, and Ours
Sherry Antonetti . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .20
4. The body of a human being, from the very first stages of its existence, can
never be reduced merely to a group of cells. The embryonic human body NEWS BRIEFS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .23

develops progressively according to a well-defined program with its proper Natural Family Planning Program
finality, as is apparent in the birth of every baby. United States Conference of

Catholic Bishops
3211 4th St. NE, Washington DC, 20017
(Continued on p. 2) 202-541-3240 [email protected]
Dignitas Personae (Instruction on Certain Dignitas Personae –
Bioethical Questions) – Excerpts continued Questions and Answers
1. What kind of document is this?
(Recalling Donum vitae, the Instruction repeats)
“The human being is to be respected and treated as a person from the It is an “instruction” from the Catholic
moment of conception; and therefore from that same moment his Church’s highest doctrinal agency, the
rights as a person must be recognized, among which in the first place Vatican’s Congregation for the
is the inviolable right of every innocent human being to life.” Doctrine of the Faith (CDF), applying
(DV, I, 1) timeless moral principles to some new
issues and situations arising from
7. In the mystery of the Incarnation, the Son of God confirmed the biotechnology. It does not declare a
dignity of the body and soul which constitute the human being. Christ new infallibly defined dogma, but is
did not disdain human bodiliness, but instead fully disclosed its approved by Pope Benedict XVI and
meaning and value . . . . has his authority. Like most Church
teachings, its moral judgments are part
9. These two dimensions of life, the natural and the supernatural, of the “universal ordinary
allow us to understand better the sense in which the acts that permit a magisterium.” Catholics are called to
new human being to come into existence, in which a man and a inform their consciences with such
woman give themselves to each other, are a reflection of trinitarian teaching, adhering to it with “religious
love. “God, who is love and life, has inscribed in man and woman the assent” (Catechism of the Catholic
vocation to share in a special way in his mystery of personal Church, no. 892).
communion and in his work as Creator and Father” (DV, #3).
2. What does its title mean?
10. The Church, by expressing an ethical judgment on some
developments of recent medical research concerning man and his The Latin title Dignitas Personae
beginnings, does not intervene in the area proper to medical science means “the dignity of a person.” All
itself, but rather calls everyone to ethical and social responsibility for
the conclusions of the document are
their actions. She reminds them that the ethical value of biomedical based on the inherent dignity of each
science is gauged in reference to both the unconditional respect owed and every human person, from
to every human being at every moment of his or her existence, and the conception to natural death, and the
defense of the specific character of the personal act which transmits need for all technology and other
life. human activity to respect that dignity.
While the Church must make a
12. With regard to the treatment of infertility, new medical techniques negative judgment about some misuses
must respect three fundamental goods: a) the right to life and to of technology, the Instruction
physical integrity of every human being from conception to natural explains: “Behind every ‘no’ in the
death; b) the unity of marriage, which means reciprocal respect for the difficult task of discerning between
right within marriage to become a father or mother only together with good and evil, there shines a great
the other spouse;19 c) the specifically human values of sexuality ‘yes’ to the recognition of the dignity
which require “that the procreation of a human person be brought and inalienable value of every single
about as the fruit of the conjugal act specific to the love between and unique human being called into
spouses” (DV, # II, B, 4). existence.”

2
Dignitas Personae – Questions and Answers continued
3. Does it have precedent in other Church documents?

Yes. Chiefly it is a sequel to “Donum vitae: Instruction on Respect for Human Life in its Origin and on the
Dignity of Procreation,” issued by the Congregation in 1987 to address human “in vitro” fertilization (IVF) and
the abuse and manipulation of human life in its earliest stages that this technology made possible. Other
judgments in the document – on human cloning, embryonic and adult stem cell research, genetic engineering,
drugs and devices for preventing implantation, etc. – confirm and elaborate statements made in past speeches or
other documents from Pope John Paul II or Pope Benedict XVI, or in the Holy See’s interventions at
international forums such as the United Nations. In recent years these topics have also been the subject of
symposia and/or documents from the advisory body, the Pontifical Academy for Life.

4. Why is the Catholic Church opposed to reproductive technologies

such as “in vitro” fertilization?

The child conceived in human procreation is a human person, equal

in dignity with the parents. Therefore he or she deserves to be
brought into being through an act of total and committed marital
love between husband and wife. Technologies that assist the Behind every “no” in the
couple’s marital union in giving rise to a child respect this difficult task of discerning
special dignity of the human person; technologies that replace between good and evil, there
it with a procedure by a technician in a laboratory do not. The shines a great “yes” to the
moral problem is aggravated by efforts to introduce gametes recognition of the dignity and
(sperm or egg) from people outside the marriage, to make use of inalienable value of every single
another woman’s womb to gestate the child, or to exercise “quality
and unique human being called
control” over the child as though he or she were a product. IVF
as practiced today also involves a very high death rate for the
into existence.
(Dignitas Personae, Conclusion)
embryos involved, and opens the door to further abuses such as
embryo cryopreservation (freezing) and destructive experimentation.

5. What topics in this document have not been specifically addressed in past teaching documents?

Some very new issues are discussed here for the first time. Some proposed methods for altering the technique
for human cloning so it will produce embryonic stem cells but not an embryo (e.g., “altered nuclear transfer”)
are judged to require more study and clarification before they could ethically be applied to humans, as one
would have to be certain that a new human being is never created and then destroyed by the procedure. (These
cautions do not apply to an even newer technique, using genetic or chemical factors to reprogram ordinary adult
cells directly into “induced pluripotent stem cells” with the versatility of embryonic stem cells. This clearly
does not use an egg or create an embryo, and has not raised objections from Catholic theologians.) Proposals
for “adoption” of abandoned or unwanted frozen embryos are also found to pose problems, because the Church
opposes use of the gametes or bodies of others who are outside the marital covenant for reproduction.

3
Dignitas Personae – Questions and Answers continued
The document raises cautions or problems about these new issues but does not formally make a definitive
judgment against them. The document also goes into far more detail than past documents in raising moral
concerns about use of “germ-line” genetic engineering in human beings, for treatments and especially for
supposed “enhancement” or tailoring of human characteristics.

6. Do the cautions or negative judgments on such developments indicate a suspicious attitude toward
modern biotechnology in general?

On the contrary, the document says that in making use of these new technological powers the human being
“participates in the creative power of God” and acts as “the steward of the value and intrinsic beauty of
creation.” It is because this power carries with it great responsibility that we must never misuse technology to
demean human dignity, but always to serve the value and dignity of every person without exception. Misuse of
genetic technology may make possible new forms of discrimination and oppression of the weak by the strong,
in which some human beings exert ultimate control over others – creating and destroying them for supposed
benefit to others, manipulating them to make the “better” human being, or denying them their most
fundamental rights because they do not measure up to someone’s standard for human perfection. Because
science and technology have a great potential for doing both good and evil, they must be guided by an
ethic grounded in human dignity.

__________________________________________________
The above text can be downloaded for free from:
http://www.usccb.org/comm/Dignitaspersonae/Q_and_A.pdf.

Human life is the basis of all goods,

and is the necessary source and condition of every human activity
and of all society.
Most people regard life as something sacred
and hold that no one may dispose of it at will,
but believers see in life something greater,
namely a gift of God’s love,
which they are called upon to preserve and make fruitful.

(Declaration on Euthanasia, p. 6)

4
 Where’s the Dignity?
Mother of Fourteen Becomes Media’s “Octomom”
Helen Alvaré, J.D.

The headlines blared “Octomom fell fast from miracle mom to punch line,” and “Octomom erupts.” The stories
were referring to a woman, Nadya Suleman, who had given birth to eight living babies by means of in vitro
fertilization using donor sperm. The search for the identity of the father was not long in coming: “Man Gave
Sperm 3 Times, Believes He May Be Octuplets’ Dad” (followed by the subheading: Tune in to ABC News’
“Good Morning America” Monday Feb. 23 to learn the identity of the man who possibly fathered the Suleman
octuplets.”) This was followed by the response headline: “Octo-Mom: He’s Not the Dad” a story which ended
with the observations “But it looks like his 15 minutes of fame are over before they began!” Social networking
websites are hosting “clubs” supporting or bashing Ms. Suleman, and a YouTube music video features a
Suleman impersonator spewing babies while a doctor catches them in a baseball glove.

Where’s the dignity of new life in this story? Where’s the dignity of motherhood and of the family? Surveying
the media carnage, there doesn’t seem to be a shred of dignity left to anyone involved with this story. We have
an impoverished, multiparous, single mother with a baby-fetish, in an impoverished extended family, who meets

up with an irresponsible fertility doctor willing to implant more embryos than can ordinarily safely develop or be
carried to term. If you think about the scenario a bit more deeply, it is not difficult to conclude that once law and
society allow human conception to take place in a retail setting, outside of an intimate marital relationship, and
thus vulnerable to the tender mercies of the “laws” of the market and of fallible human desires, it’s not at all
surprising that mothers and their children so conceived would be treated as legitimate objects of public
commentary, scrutiny and even scorn. Decisions about how many children to have, whether to bear them serially
or all at once, how to conceive them, who will be the daddy, and whether or not to get married first, all become
like “preferences,” any of which can be acted upon legally, and each of which might alternatively appeal to or
disgust different onlookers.

In the United States, state and federal lawmakers have contributed importantly to this state of affairs by deciding
not to decide. They have not taken the trouble discern or to form any social consensus about the wisdom of any
of these “preferences.” Unlike their behavior in other areas of the law involving children, they have not even
mandated a floor below which adults’ behavior may not fall – a floor ordinarily called the “best interests of the
child.” All has been left to the market to decide. And not surprisingly, the adults who constitute and run the
market – and who influence the lawmakers -- have decided both that they want babies technologically if they
have difficulty bearing them naturally, and that there’s a boatload of money to be made providing babies to
would-be parents. Experts estimate the size of the U.S. fertility industry to be in the billions of dollars. (see
Debora Spar, The Baby Business: How Money, Politics and Commerce Drive the Science of Conception
(2006)). Thus no state has any law restricting the use of assisted reproduction to married versus single persons,
or restricting the number of embryos that may safely be artificially implanted into a woman. All of this has
brought us to the question with which I began this paragraph: “where’s the dignity?”

55
The short answer is that human dignity cannot be destroyed. We are made in God’s image and likeness and can
never become in essence “contemptible.” Nadya Suleman and her children are human beings made in God’s
image and likeness. But indeed their dignity has sadly been
obscured. In the case of the children, it has been assaulted
from the beginning of their very existence.
“Nadya Suleman and her
children are human beings The Suleman story and the public’s vociferous response
made in God’s image and helps us understand quite clearly why the Vatican’s recent
likeness. But indeed their instruction (December 2008) about technological
interventions upon nascent human life, was entitled
dignity has sadly been Dignitatis Personae, On the Dignity of the Human Person.
obscured.” What is at stake is nothing less when technology intervenes
in human procreation. The instruction reminds us that the
dignity of every human person is real but fragile. So fragile
that it is very easy for even a brilliant scientist or loving, would-be parents, to misunderstand or ignore it.
Humanity’s capacity for moral understanding, and for love and disinterested sacrifice, images but cannot equal
God’s.

Which is why social practices and laws need to work hard to affirm and promote this dignity. Particularly to
recognize the demonstrable fact that children’s and parents’ dignity is naturally upheld when procreation takes
place via an act of love between committed, married parents. Consider just three aspects of this dignity that are
naturally upheld when the latter situation obtains: the children are “made by love,” the only fit beginning for a
human being, and within a setting naturally inclined to provide them the long-term and intensive care that human
infants require. The child knows both of his or her parents, and has before him or her, an example of committed
love by which to understand God’s love and to learn how to love others in the world. Finally, natural
conceptions result usually in one or several children who can be carried safely to term. Questions about how
many children parents decide to have, the “safety” of the method of conception for both the child and the parents,
and the desirability of the “family form” into which the child is brought are almost never troubling. The law
responds to this by easily leaving these matters to the natural and private choices of the parents. The parents’ and
children’s dignity is almost never called into question by outsiders.

Now contrast this setting with laboratory assisted conception. The latter setting raises red flags at every turn.
For example, the twin rate for assisted conception patients in the year 2000 reached 444.7 per 1000 live births;
the triplet rate in 2000 was 98.7 per 1000 live births. (see Trends in Multiple births Conceived using Assisted
Reproductive Technologies, United States: 19970-2000, 111 Pediatrics 1159 (May 2003)) When the number of
unborn children conceived artificially is sufficiently high, doctors will recommend, even insist upon, “selective
reduction” (abortion of one or more of the gestating children.) Doctors encourage women to accept the
implantation of multiple embryos so that the fertility clinics’ “success rates” will appear high.

But multiple conceptions are dangerous for the babies involved and for their mothers, and raise the question of
parents’ entire original disposition toward these new lives they are carrying. Recent findings indicated that even
“singleton” pregnancies via IVF carry higher risks for the child’s well-being as compared with natural
conceptions. (See Gina Kolata, Picture Emerging on Genetic Risks of IVF, New York Times, February 16,
2009) Finally, childbearing outside of marriage is closely associated with difficulties for mothers and children. It
is robustly correlated with poverty and with emotional and educational difficulties for the children. Planned
single-parenthood, costing thousands of dollars (millions in the case of the Suleman octuplets; see Kim Yoshina
6
and Jessica Garrison, Octuplets could be costly for taxpayers, Los Angeles Times, Feb.11, 2009) and months of
efforts, seems even more quixotic, more apparently adverse to the children’s best interests in the eyes of many.

Is it any wonder then that a pregnancy that began without due respect for the dignity of the lives involved would
come to be associate with a most undignified media circus? Or that the public felt free to question whether a
person who appeared to act like a “consumer” respecting children, made the right “consumer decisions?” They
asked whether she had a right to have so many children in a
world of limited resources, whether the children should
receive any public monies, and whether the medical “Because human procreation
provider had a right to offer such services? Because human has been reduced to a
procreation has been reduced to a commodity for purchase
commodity for purchase
questions particularly about the number of children per
family can almost appear reasonable.
questions… about the number
of children per family can
Dignitatis Personae urges us to “recognize[] the legitimacy almost appear reasonable.”
of the desire for a child and understand[] the suffering of
couples struggling with problems of fertility.” But it
reminds us that “[s]uch a desire… should not override the
dignity of every human life to the point of absolute supremacy. The desire for a child cannot justify the
“production” of offspring….”

The Suleman saga makes manifest the assault on the dignity of human live brought about by assisted
reproduction. It allows us to see clearly the risks of abandoning the natural protections for dignity offered by
marital procreation. It alerts us to the inadequacy of our current laws and policies for shielding fragile human
dignity. Lawmakers may respond to this

current saga with proposals for restricting the simultaneous creation high numbers of embryos, or limiting the
numbers of embryos which may be transferred into a woman’s uterus, or even restricting such technology to
married or working parents (though I seriously doubt the latter). Such a response would be useful, but inadequate
for protecting the full measure of dignity granted by God to each human person, but it would be better than this
sorry state of affairs. Human beings deserve always to be brought into existence through a personal act of marital
love.

Helen Alvaré, J.D., is a Senior Fellow in Law at George Mason University. Professor Alvaré
will be one of the speakers at the 2009 conference of the National Catholic Family Life
Ministers in St. Paul, Minnesota. This article is reprinted with permission from the The
Culture of Life Foundation, 2009. See: http://culture-of-
life.org//component/option,com_frontpage/Itemid,1/

7
 Pope Benedict Is Right!
Susan E. Wills

During an interview with the press en route to Africa, Pope

The many problems with
Benedict was asked about the use of condoms to combat AIDS in
condoms
Africa. He answered that the epidemic “cannot be overcome by the
Although some claim
distribution of [condoms]: on the contrary, they increase it.”
condoms are 80-90% effective in
preventing HIV transmission, that
Many assumed that Pope Benedict’s comments reflected only
assumes perfect condition, and
the Church’s moral opposition to contraception and to sexual activity
correct and consistent use. Studies
outside marriage and had nothing to do with sound science. He was
have shown them far less effective
harshly criticized for calling into question the central dogma of the
among younger and less
sexual revolution that “safe sex” is free of consequences. Many AIDS
experienced adults.
experts have found that condoms do not work and, as Benedict
observed, may be “exacerbating the problem” in Africa. Harvard
The reality of “cumulative
researcher Edward C. Green—who spent 25 years promoting the use of
risk exposure” is also ignored by
condoms in Africa to combat AIDS—is just one who has publicly
condom promoters. For example,
defended the Pope’s viewpoint.
with “repeated exposures to an
infected partner, such as a man
Part of the explanation for why condoms aren’t the answer to the
visiting a sex worker [sic] in
AIDS epidemic in Africa is the phenomenon of “risk compensation,” a
Nairobi or Johannesburg once a
person’s greater willingness to engage in potentially risky behavior
month, the man will likely be
when he believes his risk has been reduced through technology.
infected within five months, even
Someone who uses sunscreen is likely to stay in the sun longer, and
with consistent condom use.”
studies have shown an increase in melanoma among sunscreen users.
Seat belts “save lives,” but in 23 months after mandatory seat-belt laws
What works?
went into effect in the United Kingdom, traffic fatalities increased due
to more careless driving.
In 2004, 150 AIDS experts
signed a Comment in the medical
Similarly, experts in sexually-transmitted diseases have found that risk
journal The Lancet calling for an
compensation may occur with condom use. As noted in a 2006 study
evidence-based approach to
co-authored by a senior advisor in the USAID Office of HIV/AIDS,
preventing the sexual transmission
many HIV researchers have reported that “the perception that using
of HIV/AIDS, with primary
condoms can reduce the risk of HIV infection may have contributed to
emphasis on changing behavior
increases in inconsistent use, which has minimal protective effect, as
rather than promoting condoms to
well as to a possible neglect of the risks of having multiple sexual
halt generalized epidemics. One
partners. Thus, the protective effect of promoting condoms … could even
co-author later testified to
be offset by aggregate increases in risky sexual behavior” (emphasis
Congress: “No generalized HIV
added). The authors stress that behavior change (abstinence,
epidemic
monogamy, fewer partners), which has proven “a feasible and effective
approach to preventing new HIV infections,” must be promoted in any
HIV/AIDS prevention program.
8
 has ever been rolled back by a
prevention strategy based primarily on
condoms. Instead, the few successes …
were achieved not through condoms but
by getting people to change their sexual
behavior.”
Susan Wills is the assistant director for
education & outreach, USCCB Secretariat of
Pro-Life Activities. Go to Once again, science has proven
www.usccb.org/prolife to learn more about the wisdom of Church teaching on
the bishops' pro-life activities. This article abstinence before, and faithfulness
was published in April 2009 as part of Life
within, marriage. Visit
Issues Forum, a national column. It is
reprinted here with permission. www.usccb.org/prolife/factsheet/condo
ms for additional information and
citations to research studies.

Doctor, Nurse, Medical Students Call for Conscience

Protection
Don Clemmer, USCCB Communications

WASHINGTON—A doctor, a nurse and two responsibilities of his field, noting that he and his
medical students gave testimonials on the colleagues “hold the extraordinary power of
importance of conscience protection in the medical medicine in our hands.”
field in four videos available on the Web at
http://www.usccb.org/conscienceprotection. Their “We depend on our conscience for guidance
testimonies are part of an effort by the U.S. as we work with our patients. For years, our
Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB) urging government has recognized the importance of
Catholics to tell the Obama Administration to retain protecting conscience in a democratic society,
Health and Human Services regulations governing especially in the field of medicine where human
conscience protection for health care workers. lives hang in the balance,” said Dr. Sheehan, who is
also a Jesuit priest.
Giving her testimonial in English and in
Spanish, Sally Sanchez, R.N. of Provena Mercy Medical students Michael and Kathryn
Medical Center in Aurora, Ill., said of the nursing Redinger of the Stritch School of Medicine at
profession, “As part of our every action, I have to Loyola University in Chicago mentioned the
make a decision. Here I draw on my education, my Hippocratic Oath to do no harm to their patients.
life’s experience and my conscience.” She added, “We’ll rely on conscience so we never violate this
“If our government will not respect my right to oath,” said Kathryn.
follow my conscience, I can’t be the kind of
professional you want at your bedside.” These videos can be found along with other
USCCB resources and a link to contacting Health
Myles Sheehan, M.D., who practices and Human Services at
internal medicine and geriatrics, spoke on the http://www.usccb.org/conscienceprotection
.
9
 The Good Father – On the Manly Character of St. Joseph
Joseph R. Fornieri, Ph.D

St. Joseph has always occupied an important In Manliness, Harvey C. Mansfield decries
place in the piety of Italian Americans. While I was the gender neutrality of contemporary culture.
raised in this tradition, my appreciation of Joseph has Unfortunately, this otherwise excellent book fails
deepened over the years. Now the father of two to mention any Christian models of manliness
daughters and a husband of seventeen years, I and the crucial role of Christianity in
increasingly return to those Old World roots and to transforming pagan notions of manliness. It is
Joseph’s example for strength as I confront the unique within this context that I see a particular urgency
challenges and responsibilities of middle adult life. to reaffirm St. Joseph as a positive masculine
role model for our times.
True Manliness
Tests of Character
The contemporary decline of manliness in our
society parallels the decline of the family. Our The strength of Joseph’s manly character
reverence for St. Joseph once served as an important was tested when he discovered that his betrothed
reminder of the connection between true manliness and was pregnant even though he had not yet “known
fatherhood and family, a connection that today is her.” This was a situation that, to put it mildly,
increasingly broken. The feminist crusade to replace would have bruised anyone’s manly honor. As
masculinity with gender neutrality has stripped boys of yet, the angel had not reassured Joseph that this
positive male role models that would inform their moral was part of God’s plan. A lesser man, seeking
imaginations and inspire them to fulfill honorably their only to defend his personal honor, might have
responsibilities as husbands, fathers, and patriotic demanded that Mary be stoned as an adulteress.
citizens. Consider that “honor killings” still occur in the
Middle East. Instead, the Gospel tells us that
At one time the absence of a father was viewed
Joseph was “unwilling to expose her to shame”
as tragic; today it is accepted as a legitimate alternative
and that “he decided to divorce her quietly.”
way to raise children. In some circles, fatherlessness is
Putting aside his own bruised ego, Joseph acted
even planned and welcomed. Our commercial and
charitably and without malice. He sought to
popular culture ridicules fathers as bloated buffoons,
handle the matter discreetly without further harm
epitomized by the cartoon character Homer Simpson.
or humiliation to Mary.
The father figure of our time is no longer an
authoritative sage, as he may have been in times gone
Joseph’s restraint in this regard provides
by. Consider the following versions of masculinity sold
an important lesson in learning how to manage
to us by today’s mass culture: the haughty CEO, the
one’s impulsive rage and to control one’s temper.
emasculated wimp, the charming gangster, the prima
This is a particularly important lesson for those
donna athlete, the psychopathic warrior, the postmodern
of us who were inclined in our youth to be “hot-
cynic, and the playboy for whom sex has become sport.
blooded.” A spiritually mature man, like Joseph,
Each path descends to the lowest common denominator
is not governed by the tempests of
of vulgarity.

10
wounded masculine pride. Patience and circumspection young apprentice in the carpentry shop,
may lead us to discover that our initial judgment was unschooled craftsmen and laborers could take
wrong. This means standing back from the heat of the heart that their vocations were honorable, and
moment to listen to God, to our spouse, and to our that they were following in the footsteps of their
children, just as Joseph listened to the angel and Mary, Lord and his foster father.
rather than succumbing to impulse and “snap
judgments.” Joseph was responsible for passing on to
his adopted son not only his trade as carpenter,
Joseph further embodies Christian manliness in but also his Jewish faith. His example challenges
his role as protector of the Holy Family. Tradition us fathers today to embrace our crucial
refers to him as custos Domini (guardian of the Lord). responsibility in teaching and raising our
One can point to Joseph as the greatest advocate of children in the Christian faith. A sustained effort
adoption, which is often ridiculed today and asserted to is required in view of the busyness of everyday
be a cause of dysfunctional families. Joseph testifies to life and the hostility of secular culture to
the nobility of a self-giving love that transcends blood Christian values.
and genetics.
Measured by today’s standards of
After accepting Mary as his wife, he seemingly manliness, Joseph may seem like a failure. His
failed in his role of provider to find a suitable place for fiancée was pregnant with someone else’s child,
Mary to give birth. To his frustration, humiliation, and he was unable to provide a suitable place for her
disappointment, the inn was closed to them. It is highly to give birth and he was forced to take refuge in
unlikely that a wealthier, more powerful man would Egypt rather than fighting Herod’s minions.
have been turned away with the same contempt and Indeed, Joseph’s humility and “ordinariness”
disregard. The closed inn remains a poignant symbol stand in contrast to the commanding manliness of
not only of marginalization and disappointment, but today’s wealthy CEO or to the haughty,
also of perseverance. Ultimately, Joseph found a place intellectual snobbery of a university professor.
for the savior to be born, though it was a lowly stable.
Yet Joseph embraced his responsibilities
Joseph was soon confronted with another major with manly fortitude, humility, righteousness,
challenge to the security of his family. He was informed charity, and self-sacrifice. Despite great adversity
that he must take his family and flee to Egypt since and humiliation, which may have broken a man
Herod was seeking to destroy the child. Now he was a of less strength of character, he persevered,
refugee. Yet this duty, too, he performed in obedience trusting that God would strengthen him in his
and trust. efforts to provide for the Holy Family. He
consistently put aside his own ego in the service
Work & Faith of God and family. Those of us who are
husbands and fathers can look to Joseph’s
By trade, Joseph was a carpenter, a simple example when we experience our own
artisan, not an intellectual, not a scribe, not a prophet, frustrations concerning reputation, career, and
not a priest. The passing of this craft to Jesus Christ material well-being. Images of St. Joseph
affirmed for Christians the dignity of work and of frequently portray him holding a carpenter’s rule,
manual labor. Pagan philosophy deprecated mechanical which to me, symbolizes not only his craft but
labor as suitable only for vulgar types and unbecoming also his ability to rule and measure spiritual
for “gentlemen.” From the example of Joseph and his things.

11
 Joseph Needed Today In forgetting Joseph, we deprive
ourselves of a manly Christian role model sorely
Perhaps a future poet will be able to capture St. needed today. If our loss of reverence for St.
Joseph’s extraordinary ordinariness in the context of Joseph is related to the decline of manliness and
our time. As assimilation to modern culture has taken fatherhood in our culture, perhaps a renewal of
place, devotion to St. Joseph among Catholics seems to that reverence will helps us discern and cultivate
have waned. With some exceptions, his feast day has what is truly best about ourselves as fathers and
become just another day. His statue no longer appears husbands.
in my parish church. Mary often stands alone, apart
from her husband and family.

Joseph R. Fornieri, Ph.D. is an Associate Professor of Political Science at the Rochester Institute of Technology in
Rochester, New York. This article was published in Touchstone (March 2009). It is excerpted and edited here with
permission. The complete article can be read at: http://www.touchstonemag.com/archives/article.php?id=22-02-013-v

Tom Mealey

been an agnostic. With our first child, the miracle of life spurred a
When we first married, my spiritual awakening in us. We realized the Holy Spirit had already
wife, Misty, and I were the led us into a Catholic life. Even after our conversion, however,
typical secular couple. We relied NFP grew our relationship with each other and with God in ways
on hormonal contraception. Due we never expected.
to bad side effects, that didn’t
last long. Misty found out about We studied Pope John Paul II’s “theology of the body” and became
Natural Family Planning (NFP) excited about living out our faith and sharing it. It was thrilling to
through a Catholic friend. learn the compelling reasons behind the Church’s beautiful teachings
Admittedly, I was suspicious of on sex and marriage.
all the “hocus pocus” involving
thermometers at o’ dark-thirty in Much to my surprise, I also learned how grateful my wife was that I
the morning and observations was willing to learn how her body worked. Sharing the family
written down in cryptic symbols planning responsibility, as well as finding non-sexual ways of
on the NFP chart. That would all expressing affection and intimacy when we had good reasons to
change in surprising ways once postpone pregnancy, strengthened our marriage and made me a better
we got into living the NFP husband and father.
lifestyle.
When we became Catholic, I knew I wanted to be the spiritual leader
Before having children, Misty of our family, but I didn’t understand what that entailed besides
had been an atheist and I had herding our children to church on Sundays.

12
Through NFP and Scripture, I
Then there was St. Joseph. When Joseph obeyed the angel who told
discovered that I had a choice in the him to bring Mary into his home, he was accepting the public shame
kind of man—the kind of husband— and embarrassment of a pregnant fiancée. He sacrificed his personal
I was going to be. honor and reputation to obey God and protect Mary and Jesus.

We often blame Eve for eating the The choice for a husband is clear: he can be his wife’s Adam or he can
forbidden fruit. But in Genesis, we be her Joseph. A man can stand by silently and allow his wife to suffer
learn that after taking a bite, she the physical and spiritual consequences of contraception. Or he can
turned and offered the fruit to Adam, defend her virtue, body, and soul by using NFP. Today, contraception
who was with her. is accepted and expected. Any man who forgoes it for NFP will likely
be exposed to ridicule and criticism. But as St. Joseph taught us, there
Adam didn’t stop her and say, “This are some things more important than the opinion of others. May we
is a bad idea, let’s go.” He did not husbands choose to be Joseph to our wives!
protect his wife, but stood by silently
while the serpent convinced her to
surrender her holiness and damage
her relationship with God.

Tom and Misty Mealey have four children and live in the Diocese of Richmond. This article is one of the new featured
“Couples’ Stories” for National NFP Awareness Week, see:
http://www.usccb.org/prolife/issues/nfp/nfpweek/index.shtml.

NFP HALL OF FAME

A Pioneer in NFP Science— Billings which yielded an increase in our
scientific knowledge about cervical mucus. Dr.
Dr. Kevin Hume
Kevin was also the instigator of the Billings’ team
Saturday, January 3, 2009 marked the death of Dr Kevin
to attend the United Nation’s Women’s
Hume, a pioneer scientist in NFP research. The directors of Conference in Beijing. That tradition has been
WOOMB International wrote the following upon the death of carried by others to ensure our presence at other
Dr. Hume: U.N. meetings.
Many of us knew Dr. Kevin as “Uncle Kevin,”, the
In the last six months of his life, Dr. Kevin was
benevolent “uncle” who did so much to ensure the
cared for by his family and the Little Sisters of the
spread of the Billings Ovulation Method™ throughout
Poor. We know he will now be rejoicing in the
the world. Dr. Kevin was a respected colleague of Drs.
reunion with His Creator as well as his beloved
John and Lyn Billings. Dr. Kevin and his wife Peggy,
Peggy and John Billings.
accompanied Drs. John and Lyn on many of their trips
to various countries, to teach the Billings Ovulation
We pray for the repose of the soul of Dr. Kevin
Method™ and to set up teaching centers.
Hume and give thanks for this wonderful man and
for his valuable contributions to the development
Dr. Kevin was the person who introduced Professor
and spread of the Billings Ovulation Method™!
Erik Odeblad to the Drs. Billings. As many know, that
was the beginning of an important collaboration for the
Kerry Bourke, Joan Clements, Marian Corkill, Marie Marshell, Directors, WOOMB International
13
 NFP HALL OF FAME
Method. Attendees were very impressed and
Bishop George H. Speltz, Diocese of
eager to learn more about this new scientific
St. Cloud method of Natural Family Planning.
Sheila Reineke
Later that year, on October 8, the Billings
Ovulation Method was presented to Catholic
The late Most Rev. George H. women in the diocese, at their 19th Annual
Speltz knew and understood the
Convention for the Diocesan Council of Catholic
wisdom of Humanae vitae when
Women. Many were surprised to see Bishop
others rejected it. In the Church
Speltz in attendance. He humbly asked, “May I
he courageously promoted the
listen?”
teaching of the papal encyclical
and the use of Natural Family
Interest in the Billings Ovulation Method was
Planning (NFP).
immediate. Under the direction of Bishop Speltz
and Reverend Edwin Kraemer (Director of the
Bishop Speltz led the Diocese of Saint Cloud from
Family Life Bureau), Kay Ek and Mary Hughes
1968 to 1987. He initiated bringing the Billings
traveled to New Orleans for the “first ever”
Ovulation Method of NFP to our diocese and was
Billings Ovulation Method Teacher Training in
among the first Bishops in the United States to support
the United States. Unwavering
NFP so completely that it became part of the diocesan
support by Bishop Speltz and consistent backing
structure. In fact, we are proud to say that the Diocese
by later bishops in the Diocese of St. Cloud have
of St. Cloud was among the pioneer dioceses that
allowed our diocesan NFP ministry to flourish.
quickly established NFP ministry soon after 1968.
Bishop George H. Speltz was a brave and valiant
In 1972 Bishop Speltz hosted a symposium about NFP
NFP Pioneer. His entrance into the “USCCB NFP
at Saint John's University in Collegeville, Minnesota.
Hall of Fame” is a fitting gesture of gratitude from
Fr. Paul Marx opened the session and introduced Dr.
the Body of Christ!
John Billings, founder of the Billings Ovulation

Sheila Reineke, OTR/L, is the NFP Program Coordinator for the Diocese of Saint Cloud ([email protected])

…devote yourselves with all zeal and without delay

to safeguarding the holiness of marriage,
in order to guide married life
to its full human and Christian perfection.
Pope Paul VI speaking to bishops, Humanae Vitae #30

14
 NFP HALL OF FAME
Msgr. William Smith, Defender of abortion and the assorted ethical issues that have
Life come with biotechnology.

Brian Caulfield He was known for his direct manner and what he
described as "sandpaper" personality, and also for
The first weeks of 2009 marked profound losses for great patience with his students and seminarians.
Catholics in New York and beyond. He was not impressed with himself or his position
and thus was not afraid to speak his mind to those
As most of you know, Father Richard John Neuhaus, a of high office.
leading voice for Catholic truth through his magazine
First Things, passed away on January 8th after a second In the 1980s, he had dialogues with New York
bout with cancer. A former Lutheran minister, he Gov. Mario Cuomo, when the latter was loudly
marched with Martin Luther King for civil rights in the voicing his "personally opposed but..." stance on
60s and was a pro-life leader after the 1973 Roe v. abortion, in opposition to Cardinal O'Connor.
Wade decision. In 1990 he was received into the After one such encounter with the Governor,
Catholic Church by John Cardinal O'Connor and Monsignor Smith said that he hoped Cuomo
ordained a priest by him a year later. would be voted out of office, but not for political
reasons. He hoped that, away from politics,
Less well known on the national level, but every bit as Cuomo would join Gov. Hugh Carey, a fellow
eloquent a defender of life, was Monsignor William B. Catholic, in renouncing his pro-abortion stance in
Smith, a professor of moral theology for more than 30 the more reflective moments of retirement. To
years at St. Joseph's Seminary (Dunwoodie) in Monsignor Smith, the state of the soul was more
Yonkers. The venerable monsignor died on Saturday important than the governing of the state.
(Jan. 24) after a 10-day hospital stay. He had been
teaching his regular schedule of classes up until he was Monsignor Smith was also known for his quick
admitted to the hospital on the day of Father Neuhaus' wit and dry, sometimes biting humor. "I see from
Funeral Mass. I have word from a Dunwoodie priest the fact you are here that you have escaped the
that Monsignor Smith had not been feeling well for abortion holocaust," he would begin many a
some time, and that he was conscious and aware of his lecture. "But don't take comfort, because we are
dire condition the day before his death, at the age of 69. all candidates for the coming euthanasia
Ordained in 1966, he was a priest for nearly 43 years. holocaust." It was his startling way to warn
whoever would listen that the price of liberty is
Monsignor Smith was not an influential editor or eternal vigilance.
adviser of presidents, as was Father Neuhaus, but he
was an inspiration to countless Catholics in the pews, Like an effective prophet, he often was disarming
particularly pro-lifers and NFPers, who looked to him in speech and manner. Like a good priest, he
for guidance and encouragement for more than 30 loved the sacraments and conveyed this love to
years. Monsignor Smith was the North Star of Church others. May he soon see the Lord whom he served
teaching on contested issues such as contraception, so well, and may he pray for us, who suffer from
the loss of his presence
Reprinted from Fathers for Good (www.fathersforgood.org), an initiative by the Knights of Columbus for men and their
families. Brian Caulfield is the editor of Fathers for Good and Communications Specialist, Executive Office of the
Supreme Knight, Knights of Columbus; 1-203-752-4209; [email protected]

15
 Coordinators’
Corner
After talking to Jeff for Jean’s existing children.
Teaching the Non- and Jean about their situation, Combined with his emotional
Knutson found herself in the intensity, Knutson questioned
Traditional Couple midst of an ethical quandary with whether Jean and her children
no easy answers. There were would be vulnerable to abuse if
Misty Mealey plenty of good reasons to teach the couple had a child together.
the couple to chart their fertility. “I had the feeling he was using
Natural family planning services are Jean had recently gone off Jean as last-ditch effort to have a
increasingly sought by couples who hormonal contraception and child,” says Knutson.
intend to use the method illicitly. without the cycle information
How can NFP providers provided through charting, she As a Catholic, Knutson
conscientiously serve these clients? was vulnerable to another also had her own convictions to
miscarriage. consider. “Although it was
The man sitting across from apparent they really didn’t need
FertilityCare professional Mary Teaching the couple also my teaching or approval to have
Knutson was clearly upset. could help Knutson complete her sexual relations, I didn’t want to
Natural Family Planning help them to achieve pregnancy
After suffering a divorce, Practitioner Certification through before they were married,” says
Jeff* hoped to use the Creighton Creighton University/Pope Paul Knutson, who is currently a nurse
model to conceive a child with Jean, VI Institute in Omaha, Nebraska. in Caledonia, MN.
who had three children from a Her practicum required her to
previous marriage. The couple was teach nine couples to qualify to Knutson discussed the
engaged, but had not set a date to be take her final exam. situation with faculty at Pope
married. They lived together with Paul VI Institute, and decided to
Jean’s children in a nearby rural And then there was the discuss her dilemma at the next
community. chance to evangelize Jean and follow-up meeting with Jeff and
Jeff, which might be lost if Jean. It was during that meeting
Jeff told Knutson he Knutson refused to provide that Jeff became visibly angry
didn’t feel close to Jean’s children, services. and accused her of trying to rob
and had no intention of adopting him of his chance to be a father.
them after they married. When Despite these potential Two days later, Knutson called to
sharing his desire for a child of his benefits, however, Knutson still offer what she believed was a
own, he became highly emotional, struggled with whether to help reasonable compromise: she
raising his voice and emphatically the couple conceive a child under offered to teach just Jean to chart
pointing at Knutson. At times he such unstable circumstances. Jeff to help avoid further
fought back tears. His desperation had continuously refused to set a miscarriages, but insisted on
was no doubt fueled by the couple’s wedding date, indicating a lack delaying instruction that would
miscarriage six weeks earlier. of commitment to Jean. He felt help the couple conceive until
little responsibility to or affection after they married.

16
 But by then, Jean and Jeff intercourse. Colton explained who is the NFP Coordinator for
had decided to pursue artificial that barrier methods can affect Northwest Family Services.
fertility treatment through a local the woman’s cervical mucus
medical center instead. Knutson observations. She also shared the Still more challenging is
never heard from them again. abysmal effectiveness rates of the client who declines to give up
condoms and emphasized their hormonal contraception while
Knutson’s situation likelihood of an unexpected learning NFP. Mary O’Connor
illustrates the increasingly murky pregnancy. Using barriers also was once contacted by a friendly
waters NFP professionals wade into would impede the woman’s young engaged couple who had
when promoting NFP. While most ability to develop confidence in learned about NFP during
couples who seek services are the method, she told them. marriage preparation. The
married or engaged to be married, woman excitedly set up a class
it’s not unusual to encounter a In the end, the couple date with O’Connor, who teaches
decidedly non-traditional couple decided to keep using condoms. the Harrisburg Method in
seeking to learn NFP. Providers must Colton explained she could not Roanoke, Va. After the first
then struggle with whether the good properly teach and advise them class, however, O’Connor
of teaching the couple the beauty of as long as they were using barrier learned the woman was
fertility awareness and exposing methods, so they all decided to cohabitating with her fiancé and
them to the Church’s vision of amiably end their professional was on the Pill. She explained to
marriage outweigh the scandal of relationship. the woman that hormonal
helping the couple use their fertility contraception suppresses
illicitly. Not to mention the Other providers are ovulation and consequently, there
possibility of becoming complicit in willing to work with couples who would be no fertility signs to
the couple’s immoral behavior. use barriers, as long as the couple observe and chart. The couple
is honest about their use and still wanted to learn NFP.
“Natural Birth Control” willing to concede that a surprise
pregnancy would be a failure of “I went over everything,
An especially common situation NFP the barrier and not NFP. but there were no charts to
instructors are likely to encounter is review and I didn’t hear from
the unmarried couple seeking to use Lauren Fuller recalls them again,” says O’Connor. She
the method to avoid pregnancy. working with such a couple. sent the couple a card on their
These couples are usually attracted After making sure her clients wedding day a few months later,
to NFP because it is healthier than understood the lower with an added note to contact her
hormonal contraception. But because effectiveness rate of condoms, if they needed help with NFP in
they typically view NFP as “natural Fuller reviewed their first six the future.
birth control,” they can balk when charts and provided feedback on
the instructor advises abstinence their use of the rules. The couple Most providers agree that
during the fertile time. gave up condoms when they teaching an unmarried couple to
began using NFP to try to use NFP does not imply
Kristin Colton once conceive later. “We developed a permission for its illicit use.
encountered such a situation when nice relationship, and I think that “Even when we review the
teaching a non-Catholic couple the will allow me to bring up the couples’ charts, we never are
Billings Ovulation Method. The subject once more if they are able ‘giving permission to have sex,’”
couple insisted on using condoms to have a baby and begin using said Rose Fuller, Executive
during the fertile time in hopes of NFP to avoid again,” says Fuller, Director of Northwest Family
maximizing the availability of
17
Services. “We are simply describing Diocese of Richmond. “She said withhold the truth from someone,
how the rules of NFP apply to their she was used to that.” especially a person who needs
circumstance.” that truth more than ever,” she
The situation was said.
diffused when Donna’s recent
Using NFP to Conceive surgery precluded her from A Chance to Evangelize
attending the upcoming class
While most couples seek NFP series. She promised to call back The consensus among NFP
instruction to avoid pregnancy, at a later date. providers is that teaching the
occasionally one wants to learn the non-traditional couple is a unique
method to conceive a child. For the “I kept wondering if opportunity to bring them closer
NFP provider, helping maybe I should have witnessed to Christ and His Church. When
these clients participate in the more, but I think we always providers speak about NFP
creation of new life is a joy and a second guess ourselves,” said within the context of marriage, it
privilege. Laura. She resolved to pray for is an opportunity to witness to
the woman, her partner, and the the beauty and dignity of the
Then there are couples like woman’s children. “The marriage relationship, according
Jeff and Jean. Most providers are conversation was friendly and I to Rose Fuller.
unsure whether it is moral for them do feel like I was able to ‘love
to teach an unmarried couple how to the sinner but hate the sin,’” said And while some couples
chart fertility, knowing that couple Hall. will not respond to the invitation
intends to use it to conceive a child to live chastely, others will.
out of wedlock. The Halls responded David and Louise Aldred, CCL
appropriately, according to Ann instructors in Great Britian, were
On rare occasion, a provider Gundlach, project manager for once approached by an
may even be approached by a same- CCL. Such dilemmas are the unmarried couple that had been
sex couple seeking to conceive. Last reason CCL strongly emphasized cohabitating for several years.
year, Couple to Couple League how to properly witness when The couple sought to use NFP
(CCL) instructors Laura and Brian revamping its teaching program after experiencing dissatisfaction
Hall received a call from Donna, a in recent years. “Our teachers with other family planning
divorced woman who wanted to were finding the atmosphere in options.
attend their course with her lesbian their classes changing once they
partner. Although Donna had started getting couples who were During their NFP course,
children from her previous marriage, there solely for a premarriage the Aldreds shared the moral
she hoped to conceive a child with requirement, since many of them aspects of NFP and explained
her partner using donated semen. are cohabitating and sexually why premarital intercourse was
They wanted to take the NFP class to active before marriage,” wrong. Prior to the final class,
“experience the whole pregnancy Gundlach said. the couple called to say they
and childbirth thing together.” were finding it difficult to use
“We view these situations NFP and were not planning to
“We told her Catholic as an opportunity to expose continue.
morality and theology would be couples to these truths for
presented, including that homosexual perhaps the first time,” said “We told them we
behavior is sinful,” said Laura, who Gundlach. Although some might believed it was probably the
is the NFP coordinator for the use the information immorally, nature of their relationship that
“we believe it is wrong to was the problem, rather than
18
NFP,” said David. “NFP focuses on Challenging the couple
the aspects of a relationship that are had had a decidedly positive
strong in marriage, and weak outside outcome. “They had decided to
it, such as the complete gift of self.” address the problem, rather than
just its symptoms,” said David.
The couple completed the

course, but hurried away at the end.
Some time later, the Aldreds
received an invitation to their
wedding.

*All client names have been changed to protect their privacy.

Misty Mealey is a member of the NFP Advisory Committee for the Diocese of Richmond. She lives with her husband
Tom and four children in Virginia.

“If all the world's families would

spend a little time together in prayer,
I believe we would have peace in the
world.

Just as love begins at home, so peace

begins at home - when a family is united
through prayer.”

~Mother Teresa

19
 Baby Paul's heart, and Ours

Sherry Antonetti

In every Catholic wedding, the When I started on my doctorate, me in the present with the people
priest asks the question, "Will you my advisor asked the question, around me. Maybe our family
accept the blessing of children "How do you hope to prevent would be smaller if I hadn't been
lovingly from God," and the couple yourself from becoming seduced such a stubborn person, but I
responds. by academia?" I said, "My wouldn't wish it. It has been an
husband and children (at that amazing and unexpected journey
There isn't a caveat or a footnote or point I had only one), would be these past 18 years.
an asterisk to that particular answer able to keep me humble and out
or question, designed to explain of trouble." We laughed, but God God's plan included this ninth
away exceptions or alternatives. It is saw the opening I had given Him person Paul, a baby due on Sept.
a promise a couple makes to God in and took it. 27 who has Down's syndrome
the process of obediently submitting and a heart defect that will
to the sacrament of marriage. The Prudence might indicate that, require surgery. His heart will
choice to have children was made on once kids became a part of our have to be remade. Like most
that altar amidst family and friends, lives, we would have discussed parents who discover they will
prayers and flowers... "Yes." numbers. But again, the question have a child with disabilities the
never came up. We couldn't world can see, our hearts had to
As the mother of eight, soon to be argue with the consequences of be remade, too. My son's heart
nine children, even total strangers the blessings of our marriage. We has no walls on the inside. Our
have remarked to me, "You must loved each new addition to our hearts had walls that had to be
have wanted a large family." No. I family fiercely and found the torn down. We didn't know they
have to confess, that wasn't my plan idea of not having known such were even there.
at all. I planned to get a Ph.D. and unique amazing individuals as
run a school, and maybe one day our sons and daughters, a horrid Paul's heart will be examined by
teach English at my alma mater. That prospect. 35 pediatric cardiologists via the
was my plan. I loved my husband-to- wonders of technology, so that
be, and we had dutifully gone Graduate school was postponed. the best possible care can be
through the pre-marital inventory, These people had always been given to make the four
had the interviews with our bishop, part of our family, though we had chambers necessary for him to
and spent the weekend at the Pre- never laid eyes on them before thrive. God has spent the last 42
Cana retreat in preparation for the they were born. It was as if years peering into our hearts to
sacrament. But we hadn't asked the pieces of our lives and our hearts, try and get us to submit to the
specific question of each other, our personalities and our gifts, surgeries of life necessary to
"How many kids do you want to were being revealed to us for the make our souls flourish. Neither
have?" To be honest, the question first time in each of these new of us have been terribly
had never occurred to either of us, in people. Whenever I would begin cooperative patients, sometimes
our youth and inexperience. to yearn for what had been let go, ignoring the prescriptions that
God would immediately ground

20
would make us spiritually stronger. Divine Physician knows more we do not even know that we have.
There have been moments when we about what's best than the
have wanted to say, "No." Or at the patient. A dear person in my life asked the
very least, "Why can't it be my question, "How do you know
plan?" or "Why this plan?" God's plan was much more God's plan?" At the time, I didn't
interesting than mine. I still hope have an answer but I do now, "If
I wouldn't argue with the 35 to one day get that Ph.D. if it is it stretches you beyond your own
cardiologists about how to do this right for me to have it, but I must perceived capacity to love, it is
pending surgery; I have to trust they concede, in all honesty, not God's plan. If it makes you devote
will do what is best for my son. getting what I wanted thus far your whole self to others, it is
Likewise, arguing with God about has been the greatest gift of my God's plan. If the fruits of your
His plan seems a waste of energy. life. God tells us He will make actions include joy, laughter,
He's the expert. God's plan was for for us whole new hearts, and that lightness, mercy, healing, hope,
a different sort of doctorate, born of is what this journey of life is for, forgiveness, patience and peace
thus far, 15 years of study. Once to give Him time to operate on for yourself and/or others, it is
one recognizes God's plan, acting our souls via the trials, triumphs God's plan." All we have to do, is
be willing to say "Yes." ≈
within it becomes a condition of and tragedies we experience. He
will, a choice based on trust that the came to heal us of the illnesses

Sherry Antonetti is a freelance writer with past credits in the Washington Post, Catholic Standard, East Texas Catholic,
Island Park News and Beaumont Enterprise. She, her husband Marc, and their nine children live in the Archdiocese of
Washington. This article was first published in The Catholic Standard (September 11, 2008). It is reprinted with
permission of the author.

Web Resources For Parents of Special Needs Children:

∞ http://www.ncpd.org
Official website of the National Catholic Partnership on Disability (NCPD). The mission of the NCPD
is “Full inclusion of persons with disabilities -- in the Church and in Society.” NCPD was established in
1982 to foster implementation of the Pastoral Statement of U.S. Catholic Bishops on People with
Disabilities (see: http://www.ncpd.org/pastoral_statement_1978.htm)

∞ http://www.childrensdisabilities.info
Created by parents of a special needs child, the Children's Disabilities Information website has a wealth
of information for parents. It emphasizes the needs of preemies and young adoptees.

∞ http://downsyndrome.com
Comprehensive resource website for parents of Down syndrome children.

∞ http://hiddentreasuresthet21journey.blogspot.com/
Catholic parents of Down syndrome children provide personal testimonies. Inspiring.

∞ http://www.bridgets-light.com
Personal witness website from a family with a Down syndrome child.

21
 National NFP Awareness Week to be celebrated on July 19-25, 2009

The 2009 slogan, “Marriage and Natural

Family Planning . . . a Divine Design!”,
points to God as the author of marriage and
to the methods of NFP as linked to that
Divine design.

Copies of the posters will be available in

May. To order, contact: 1-866-582-0943 or
e-mail [email protected].

In addition to the poster, supportive

materials, including homily notes, “Prayers
of the Faithful,” a new “Litany to Mary,
Mother of Life” and two new couples’
stories are now available on line at:

http://www.usccb.org/prolife/issues/nfp/nfpweek/index.shtml

Diocesan NFP Coordinators among USCCB Delegation to

World Congress on the Family, Mexico City, January 14-18, 2009

USCCB Delegation poses in front of

statue of Pope John Paul II in the
piazza of the Shrine of Our Lady of
Guadelupe. Auxiliary Bishop, George
Rassas, is second from the right.

The USCCB sent a delegation of

staff, diocesan family life directors
and NFP coordinators to the Sixth
World Congress on the Family in
Mexico City. The Congress was
sponsored by the Pontifical Council
for the Family. Among the delegates
were Deacon Bill Urbine, director of
Family Life in the Diocese of
Allentown, Marie Widmann, director
of NFP and Pro-Life Activities,
Diocese of San Bernardino, and
Stella Kitchen, Diocese of Savannah
and member of the NFP National Advisory Board. The Congress featured an international list of speakers with
diverse expertise in such disciplines as theology, law, sociology, and psychology. Carl Anderson, Supreme
Knight, Knights of Columbus and Helen Alvaré, George Mason University School of Law, were among the
speakers. The proceedings will be forthcoming.
22
 St. Anthony Hospital has
ANNOUNCEMENTS The 2009 Conference of the accredited residency training
National Association of programs in Family Medicine and
Richard Fehring, PhD, RN, Catholic Family Life Ministers Obstetrics & Gynecology and
Receives Vatican II Award provides clinical rotations for
Congratulations to Richard medical students, nursing, and
Fehring, PhD, RN, Director of advanced practice nursing
Marquette University’s NFP students. The Billings Center will
Institute, for receiving the provide practical instruction in the
Archdiocese of Milwaukee’s use of the BOM as a diagnostic
Vatican II Award on November tool for fertility and gynecologic
19, 2008. For the past twenty- disorders, using more than
five years, Dr. Fehring has 50 years of research conducted by
dedicated his professional and the very grandfathers of
personal life to helping the reproductive medicine, whose
Church live out its commitment contributions led to the
to married couples wishing to June 25-28 – St. Paul, development of oral
follow Church teaching on the Minnesota contraceptives and assisted
sanctity of human life through An exciting and timely agenda reproductive technology, but
the practice of NFP. will include speakers: Barbara whose personal ethical convictions
Dafoe Whitehead, John led them away from potentially
Pill Architect Admits Grabowski, and Helen Alvare. abortifacient steroids into the field
Unforeseen Problems with Some workshops will offer NFP of natural fertility regulation.
Wide-Spread Use education. To view the For additional information,
By now our readers may have schedule, visit: contact:
seen Carl Djerassi’s statement http://www.nacflm.org/associati Mary W. Martin, M.D.,FACOG
admitting the population ons/4090/files/MarriageBuildin Billings Center For Fertility and
implosion in many nations due, GConferenceBrochureFinalweb. Reproductive Medicine
in part, to wide-spread oral pdf?convnbr=6370 608 NW 9th Street, Suite 5000
contraceptive acceptance and Oklahoma City, OK 73118
use. Dr. Djerassi, the Austrian Register at: 1-405-272-7026
chemist who helped develop http://www.nacflm.org/displaycon FAX 1-405-272-7027
hormonal contraception, vregister.cfm?convnbr=6370
bemoaned the “horror scenario”
where in most of Europe there
was now “no connection at all
between sexuality and New Billings Center for
reproduction.” Djerassi Fertility and Reproductive
admitted that the fall in birth Medicine in Oklahoma City
rates was an “epidemic” far Dr. Mary Martin, MD, has
worse, but given less attention, established a research and
than obesity. The eighty-five education center for medical
year old Djerassi said that professionals at St. Anthony
“national suicide,” was the Hospital in Oklahoma City for the
consequence of young Austrians application and advancement of
severely limiting or even the Billings Ovulation Method of
rejecting procreation. Natural Family Planning in
contemporary clinical medicine.

23
NFP EVENTS October 16-17, 2009.
annual conference of the National Conference on Theology of the
Association of Catholic Family Body, sponsored by God, Sex
April 2009. Pope Paul VI
Life Ministers. The NFP and the Meaning of Life
Institute, Creighton Model
meeting’s agenda is focused on Ministry, in partnership with NFP
FertilityCare Education Phase II
programming with an emphasis on Association, Canada. The
programs in Omaha, Nebraska.
e-education. This meeting is free. conference will be held in Tronto,
This second phase of training is a
To register, contact: NFPP, Canada. Christopher West is a
six- to eight-day total immersion
[email protected]. featured speaker. Most Rev.
course covering more advanced
Thomas Collins, Archbishop of
system-related problems,
November 17-19, 2009. Billings Toronto will celebrate Mass for
advanced teaching skills, case
Ovulation Method Association— participants. Contact: 1-905-
management, basic ethical issues,
USA, Teacher Training, 420-8696; [email protected]
and NaProTechnology. Only those
Oklahoma City. For details, see:
students who have successfully
www.boma-usa.org.
completed Education Phase I may
attend Education Phase II. Dates INTERNATIONAL
November 20-21, 2009. Billings EVENTS
are:
Ovulation Method Association--
USA Conference in Oklahoma
April 18-25, 2009, for medical June 11-14, 2009. The Second
City. Contact: BOMA-USA,
consultants, and International Symposium, “Man
[email protected]; 1-651-699-
educators/supervisors. and Woman He Created Them—
8139; 1-320-654-6486October 2-
Pope John Paul II’s Theologyof
10, 2009. Pope Paul VI
April 19-25, 2009, for medical the Body,” Maynooth, Ireland.
Institute, Creighton Model
consultants
FertilityCare Education Phase I,
This Symposium
Omaha, Nebraska. This program
April 20-25, 2009, for marks the 30th anniversary of
is an eight day total immersion
practitioners John Paul II’s first papal
course covering introduction to
audience on the Theology of the
the Creighton Model
Contact: body. Scholars, teachers,
FertilityCare System,
[email protected]; 1- students and catechists from
NaProTECHNOLOGY, basic
402- 390-9168; FAX 1-402-390- around the world will come
teaching skills, case management,
9851: www.popepaulvi.com. together to discuss the Theology
and basic ethical issues.
of the Body. Washington, DC’s
Contact:
Mary Shivanandan, S.T.D., John
[email protected]; 1-
June 22-24, 2009. Billings Paul II Institute for Studies on
402- 390-9168; FAX 1-402-390-
Ovulation Method Association— the Family, is among the
9851: www.popepaulvi.com.
USA’s Teacher Training in St. speakers. Contact:
Paul, Minnesota. This training www.jp2tob.com;
October 16, 2009. Conference
will be held prior to the annual [email protected].
for priests and seminarians on
conference of the National
Theology of the Body,
Association of Catholic Family August 20-24, 2009.
sponsored by God, Sex and the
Life Ministers at St. Thomas International Teen STAR
Meaning of Life Ministry, in
University. Contact: BOMA-USA, meeting. In Ars, France at the
partnership with NFP
[email protected]; 1-651-699- retreat house La Providence. Ars
Association, Canada. The
8139; 1-320-654-6486. is an hour’s drive from Lyons’
conference will be held in
airport. Contact: Hanna Klaus,
Tronto, Canada. Christopher
June 25, 2009. National Diocesan MD; 1-301-897-9323;
West is a featured speaker.
NFP Coordinators’ Meeting, St. [email protected]
Contact: 1-905-420-8696;
Paul, MN. This one-day meeting for
[email protected].
diocesan NFP coordinators at St.
Thomas University in St. Paul, is
being held in conjunction with the

24
Billings Ovulation Method Users . . . .

Contact: BOMA-USA, [email protected];

1-651-699-8139; 1-320-654-6486.

BOMA-USA offers New Brochure on

the Pill in Three Languages
BOMA-USA has recently published a new full-color brochure that features commonly asked questions about
the Birth Control Pill. Mary Martin, M.D., Ob/Gyn of Oklahoma City provides the answers.
The brochure is titled “Making Sense of the Pill.” It is available in English, Spanish and Portugese. Review
copies can be obtained by sending a self-addressed stamped business-size envelope to: BOMA-USA, PO Box
2135, St. Cold, MN 56302. Contact [email protected] or 651-699-8139 to order

USCCB Publishing has Marriage Resources

The Bishops’ publishing house has brochures and bulletin inserts available on inter-faith marriages. The
“Walking Together Series” features brochures entitled: “When a Catholic Marries a Protestant”
(http://www.usccbpublishing.org/productdetails.cfm?PC=945)
and “When a Catholic Married an Orthodox Christian”
(http://www.usccbpublishing.org/productdetails.cfm?PC=1222). Contact USCCB Publishing, 1-800-235-8722

On-line Human Sexuality and Church Teaching Courses

The Catholic Distance University (CDU) offers on-line degrees and courses that would be helpful for NFP
teachers. A sample of their courses include:

 John Paul II: Theologhy of the Body

 Humanae vitae and the Culture of LIFe: Paul VI’s Prophetic Voice Forty Years Later

 Marriage and the Complementarity of Men and Women

 Parenting Skills for Catholic Families with Young Children

25
CDU is accredited by the Accrediting Commission of the Distance Education and Training Council, an
accrediting agency fully recognized and approved by the U.S. Department of Education. CDU is certified as a
degree granting institution by the State Council of Higher Education in Virginia. For more information,
contact: 1-888-254-4238, ext 700; [email protected]; www.cdu.edu.

International NFP Archives now located in Florida

Larry Kane of Woodbridge, VA former Executive Director of Human Life Foundation and his board of advisors
have collaborated with Ave Maria University in Ave Maria, Florida to house historic NFP materials (including
documents, publications, device, audio/visual materials, etc.) Any of the aforementioned and more may be
donated to the NFP Archives. Contact: J.Robert Vervesey, Director of Library Services, Ave Maria University
5251 Avila Avenue, Ave Maria, FL 34142-9505; [email protected]; 239-280-2590; www.avemaria.edu

NFP Forum, Diocesan Activity Report, vol. 20/ Nos. 1 & 2, Winter/Spring 2009; Theresa Notare, PhD, Editor.

The NFP Forum is published biannually. Its purpose is to serve the Roman Catholic diocesan NFP Programs of
the United States through offering: national and international news of NFP activity; articles on Church
teachings; NFP methodology; related topics; and providing a forum for sharing strategies in program
development. Contributions are welcomed.

All information in this publication may be reproduced in whole or in part without alteration or change unless
otherwise noted. Such reprints should include the following notice: “Reprinted with permission from NFP
Forum [date/issue], NFPP, USCCB, Washington, DC.” Inquiries: 202-541-3240; e-mail, [email protected].

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