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Parent Talk The Art of Effective Communication With The School and Your Child School Talk Series 1st Edition Cheli Digital Version 2025

The document is about 'Parent Talk: The Art of Effective Communication With the School and Your Child,' a resource designed to help parents navigate communication with educators and support their children's success. It includes real-life scenarios, practical advice, and strategies for various situations parents may encounter in a school setting. The book aims to empower parents to be proactive advocates for their children, providing tools for effective communication and organization.

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100% found this document useful (4 votes)
22 views122 pages

Parent Talk The Art of Effective Communication With The School and Your Child School Talk Series 1st Edition Cheli Digital Version 2025

The document is about 'Parent Talk: The Art of Effective Communication With the School and Your Child,' a resource designed to help parents navigate communication with educators and support their children's success. It includes real-life scenarios, practical advice, and strategies for various situations parents may encounter in a school setting. The book aims to empower parents to be proactive advocates for their children, providing tools for effective communication and organization.

Uploaded by

byapezze6087
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
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Parent_Talk_book 2/18/05 8:52 AM Page 1

Cheli Cerra, M.Ed. & Ruth Jacoby, Ed.D.


Parent_Talk_book 2/18/05 8:52 AM Page 4
Parent_Talk_book 2/18/05 8:52 AM Page 1

Cheli Cerra, M.Ed. & Ruth Jacoby, Ed.D.


Parent_Talk_book 2/18/05 8:52 AM Page 2

Copyright © 2004 by Cheli Cerra and Ruth Jacoby. All rights reserved.

Published by Jossey-Bass
A Wiley Imprint
989 Market Street, San Francisco, CA 94103-1741 www.josseybass.com

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in


any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or
otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright
Act, without either the prior written permission of the Publisher, or authorization through
payment of the appropriate per-copy fee to the Copyright Clearance Center, Inc., 222
Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, 978-750-8400, fax 978-750-4470, or on the web at
www.copyright.com. Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the
Permissions Department, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, (201)
748-6011, fax (201) 748-6008.

Permission is given for individual classroom teachers to reproduce the pages and illustrations
for classroom use. Reproduction of these materials for an entire school system is strictly
forbidden.

Jossey-Bass books and products are available through most bookstores. To contact Jossey-
Bass directly call our Customer Care Department within the U.S. at 800-956-7739, outside the
U.S. at 317-572-3986 or fax 317-572-4002.

Jossey-Bass also publishes its books in a variety of electronic formats. Some content that
appears in print may not be available in electronic books.

ISBN: 0-471-72013-5

Printed in the United States of America

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Parent_Talk_book 2/18/05 8:52 AM Page 3

The Buzz About “An absolute must read


Parent Talk! for every parent. The open
lines of communication between a
parent and teacher are essential and
these authors show you exactly how to
position
your child for success.”
Dr. G. L. Dempsey
Clinical Psychologist
Houston, TX
“Authors Cheli Cerra and
Dr. Ruth Jacoby have done it!
Parent Talk! is the must-have book for parents of
school age children—kindergarten through high school!
They have compiled ‘Snapshots’ of every conceivable
situation that can arise between you, your child and your
school. They offer easy-to-read, clear, simple
suggestions on ways to deal with the situation AND
“As a parent there are many
include a Parent-to-Parent Tip!” times when we wished we could turn to a
Margaret Wolter book that had all the answers we are looking for.
President, ASTAR Parent Talk! is just that book. An excellent book filled
Advocates for Students, Teachers, with practical advice and simply written insights to guide
Administrators & Resources and support parents in our most important role, helping
our children become the best that they can be.”
Debbie Milam
Founder, Creating Peace Project
www.creatingpeaceproject.org
Parent_Talk_book 2/18/05 8:52 AM Page 4
Parent_Talk_book 2/18/05 8:52 AM Page 5

To our children, who


provided us with the rich
experiences of parenting.
Parent_Talk_book 2/18/05 8:52 AM Page 6

Parent Talk! • The Art of Effective Communication With the School and Your Child

Table of Contents
How to Use This Book 9 Snapshot 14 My Child Came Home Without
Introduction 13 Eating Lunch 41
Section 1: Summer 19 Snapshot 15 Why Should I Have to Volunteer
Snapshot 1 My Child Has the Back-to-School Blues 20 in Another Classroom? 42
Snapshot 2 I Am Recently Divorced and Have Snapshot 16 My Child Does Not Have Textbooks 45
Sole Custody of My Child 23 Snapshot 17 The School Bus Is Failing
Snapshot 3 My Child Does Not Speak English 24 to Pick Up My Child 46
Snapshot 4 My Child’s Friend Is a Bad Influence 25 Snapshot 18 I Must Drop Off My Child Very
Snapshot 5 My Child Is Gifted and I Want Her Placed Early at School 47
in the Gifted Program 26 Snapshot 19 My Child’s Books Are Too Heavy
Snapshot 6 My Child Is Failing at a High- for Her to Carry 48
Performing School 28 Snapshot 20 I Am Worried My Child Is Failing 50
Snapshot 7 My Child’s Health Needs to Be Monitored Snapshot 21 The School’s Pickup and Drop-Off
and He Must Take Medication Daily 30 Procedure Is Disorganized 52
Snapshot 8 My Child Has Diabetes 31 Snapshot 22 My Child Is Not Getting Enough
Snapshot 9 I Just Moved to a New Community: Homework 53
How Do I Find a School for My Child? 32 Snapshot 23 The Teacher Can’t Write Correctly 56
Snapshot 10 My Child Does Not Want to Wear the Snapshot 24 My Child Is Fifteen Minutes Late
School Uniform 34 to Class Daily 57
P.S. Practice What to Say When They Say . . . 35 Snapshot 25 My Child’s Homework Takes Up
Too Much Time 58
Section 2: Fall 37 Snapshot 26 The School Newspaper
Snapshot 11 I Can’t Attend Open House 38 Has Grammatical Errors 59
Snapshot 12 My Child’s School Has Mildew 39 Snapshot 27 The School Cafeteria Never Has
Snapshot 13 The School Is Always Doing Fundraisers 40 Any Variety 61
P.S. Practice What to Say When They Say . . . 62
Parent_Talk_book 2/18/05 8:52 AM Page 7

Parent Talk! • The Art of Effective Communication With the School and Your Child

Table of Contents
Section 3: Winter 65 Section 4: Spring 89
Snapshot 28 My Child Does Not Enjoy Reading 66 Snapshot 43 My Child Has Food Allergies and Could Not
Snapshot 29 My Child’s Behavior Has Changed Participate in the Multicultural Food Festival 90
Since He Left Elementary School 68 Snapshot 44 My Child Was Shown an Inappropriate
Snapshot 30 My Child Gets Sick Every Day Movie in School 91
at the Same Time 69 Snapshot 45 The Teacher Was Not Fair in Grading
Snapshot 31 My Child’s Classmate Threatened My Child’s Project 92
to Bring a Gun to School 70 Snapshot 46 My Child Is Being Retained 93
Snapshot 32 I Never Know What Is Happening Snapshot 47 My Child Broke His Leg and the School
at the School 71 Never Called Me 94
Snapshot 33 My Child Wrote on a Wall After Being Snapshot 48 The School Is Always Asking for Money 95
Influenced by His Peers 72 Snapshot 49 I Am Concerned About Adult Supervision
Snapshot 34 The Teacher Is Picking on My Child 74 at the End-of-the-Year Dance 96
Snapshot 35 A Disruptive Classmate Is Hitting My Child 76 Snapshot 50 The Summer Break Is Too Long and My
Snapshot 36 My Child Is Being Suspended for Fighting, Child Will Forget All She Has Learned 97
While the Child Who Started the Fight Is Not 77 Snapshot 51 The School Wants My Child to Keep
Snapshot 37 My Daughter Is Being Sexually Harassed a Summer Journal 98
by Another Student 78 Snapshot 52 My Child Has Come Down With
Snapshot 38 My Child Is Always Getting into Trouble; I Feel “Summeritis” 99
the Staff at School Is Picking on Him 79 P.S. Practice What to Say When They Say . . . 100
Snapshot 39 My Child Told Me There Are Drugs Epilogue 103
in His School 80 Share Your Snapshots 107
Snapshot 40 My Child Got Three F’s on His Report Card 82 Appendix A: From One Parent to Another: Worksheets for
Snapshot 41 I Don’t Understand the Results Your Child’s School Success 111
from My Child’s Standardized Test 83 Appendix B: Bringing the Art of Communication to You:
Snapshot 42 The Teacher Gives Too Many Projects 84 Workshops and Coaching Programs 117
P.S. Practice What to Say When They Say . . . 86 About the Authors 123
Parent_Talk_book 2/18/05 8:52 AM Page 8
Parent_Talk_book 2/18/05 8:52 AM Page 9

Parent Talk! • The Art of Effective Communication With the School and Your Child

How to Use This Book

J
ust like you, we are working parents. We checklists, charts, and sample letters to guide you.
know how busy you are, and the last At the end of each chapter we have added role-playing
thing we want this book to do is give you suggestions, questions to ask your child or the
more work. What we do want is to school, and additional resources for further
empower you with the essential knowledge information. By utilizing these quick and simple
and effective actions you can take to tools, you will become confident, and that
make sure your child is achieving and confidence will benefit both you and your child!
show you what you can do with this knowledge
when faced with a difficult situation within the
You will be:
school setting. This book gives you those tools,
• Proactive: Become a take-charge parent
simply and quickly.
and a can-doer, working in your child’s
We have written this book to be easy to read.
best interest;
The snapshots you find throughout this book
• Organized: Keep all your communications
reflect real-life situations parents face in dealing
to and from the school in a safe place,
with teachers and their own children. While the
and consistently update a calendar of
book follows the seasons, divided into quarterly
events the entire family can view;
topics, the information can be put to use year-
• A Good Record-Keeper: Maintain all
round. The situations presented here are some we
of your child’s test scores, returned
personally have experienced as parents, as well as
assignments, report cards, and
scenarios we have experienced working with
progress reports in sequential order;
thousands of parents and children in our combined
• An Accurate Reporter: Act as an
fifty-plus years in education. Each situation is
informed contributor and document
followed by strategies and communication tips on
information at school conferences; and
how you can speak with your child, from elementary
• An Advocate: Be the greatest supporter
through high school. There are worksheets,
of your child.

9
Parent_Talk_book 2/18/05 8:52 AM Page 10

Parent Talk! • The Art of Effective Communication With the School and Your Child

ecause all of us are unique in our Before you begin, we recommend that, as your first

B learning styles and the way we understand


and process information, we have
included different methods for learning.
With the tips, scenarios, and worksheets
presented in this book, we hope to
shed light on and make simple the art of
communication with your child and with your
child's school personnel. When you are well prepared
for an encounter, communication comes more easily
step in your journey toward becoming an effective
communicator, you take the Communication Skills
Assessment (Worksheet #1, page 112). This will help
you determine your level of comfort when speaking
with the teacher and your child, recognize your areas
of strength, and target those areas where you need
some assistance. We have also included a Quarterly
Self-Evaluation Checklist (Worksheet #2, page 113)
to keep you on track.
and clearly for both the speaker and the listener, As you read and practice the tips throughout
leading to solutions and possible compromises for this book, you will learn how to establish a positive
any situation you need to address. working relationship with teachers and ultimately
Your real-life situations may include elements of help your child achieve success—not just in
multiple snapshots. You can mix and match and school, but in life.
adapt them to fit your comfort zone and individual
circumstance. Throughout the book we have also
added parent-to-parent tips. Use the tip information
to guide you through each situation. The sample
letters, worksheets, charts, keys, and tips should
be used to assist you in communicating successfully
Be open-minded
with your child and his or her teacher. At the end
of each chapter, you will be given a P. S. “P” stands to a teacher's
for “Practice and Role-play”; “S” stands for
“Sample Script,” which will help you understand suggestions.
and show you how to go through an actual role-
play on the chapter’s focus.

10
Parent_Talk_book 2/18/05 8:52 AM Page 11

Parent Talk! • The Art of Effective Communication With the School and Your Child

11
Parent_Talk_book 2/18/05 8:52 AM Page 12
Parent_Talk_book 2/18/05 8:52 AM Page 13

INTRODUCTION:
A Co m m u n ic at io n
Bluep r in t fo r a
e ssfu l Sc h o o l Year
Succ
“Educa
not pre tion is
for life paration
; educa
is life i tion
John D tself.”
ewey
Parent_Talk_book 2/18/05 8:52 AM Page 14

Parent Talk! • The Art of Effective Communication With the School and Your Child

C ongratulations! Being your child’s greatest


advocate and supporter also means being his
representative, guiding and advising him as he
faces each new school year and each challenge.
After reading this book, you will be skillful and
confident in presenting important points you
want to communicate to your child’s
teacher. You will come across as an
informed parent and your child’s
on your child. You are the one most qualified to be his
representative and biggest supporter. From the first day
your child enrolls in school and throughout his entire
school career, you must be his advocate. If you feel that
your child needs extra help in school, ask for it. If you
notice your child has trouble keeping up, say
so. If you think your child is not being
challenged in school, speak up.
Communicate! Create a dialogue
greatest advocate and supporter,
whether in a face-to-face meeting,
Be positive with the school. Create a team
working for success.
during a phone conference, in
notes or letters to the school, or
about education. In the following pages, you
will find fifty-two snapshots that
through Internet contact. portray situations parents are
You are your child’s representative likely to encounter with their child,
throughout his life. As a representative you the school, and the teachers.
need to be sure that your child is getting Accompanying each snapshot will be strategies
the most appropriate and best education you can immediately put to use to direct the outcome of
with all of the instructional advantages. You do not want each situation so that your child, you the parent, and the
your child to be left behind. You need to be kept apprised teacher all benefit. As you practice these skills and become
of your child’s effort and academic progress and make sure a better communicator, you will not only acquire a
that he gets every opportunity from the school to help him tremendous feeling of personal power, but also find
to succeed. To do this, you must maintain a sharp eye. Do teachers responding positively to your confidence and
not presume everything is fine. Become involved in your ability. By building on this bridge of cooperative
child’s education. Ask questions. Talk to your child. Talk to communication, you will be able to help your child succeed
your child’s teacher. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, or feel in school and beyond.
you are somehow inferior because you are not an expert. Remember: You are the one who can make a difference.
You are an expert. As a parent, you are the foremost expert You are a parent!

14
Parent_Talk_book 2/18/05 8:52 AM Page 15

Parent Talk! • The Art of Effective Communication With the School and Your Child

Parent-to-Parent Tip:
One of the greatest things a parent can do for a child is to independence in your child, he still needs your input and
communicate with that child from day one. From birth guidance. You want to be there for him and know he feels
through childhood, from those difficult teenage years to confident in discussing with you whatever troubles him.
adulthood, you want your child to talk to you. And when he Think back to the time your mother had to handle a
does, it is important for you to listen. difficult situation you put her into when you were a child.
You have many opportunities to get to know your child How did she handle it? Did her techniques work and, if so,
through various sources. One of them is to volunteer at which ones? Try and figure out what your mother did to
your child’s school. Being in your child’s school will give help solve the problem without destroying your confidence.
you insights you can’t get anywhere else. Get to know your Focus on the successful methods she used.
child’s friends. They will open another window into your Role-play is a great way for children—and adults—to
child’s personality. Create a dialogue with your child’s learn how to solve problems. Modeling and practicing can
teachers and coaches. They want your child to succeed make a difficult situation easier to handle. You can use
and can give you valuable information on how to help your role-play to process thoughts and ideas so that you and
child do so. your child can communicate them in a
Many parents start off being very constructive and positive way.
involved at the elementary school Stage all of your snapshots and
L E -P L A Y
HOW TO RO
level, then taper off as their kids concerns prior to school meetings
become older, more independent, and before confronting your child.
and able to do many things for When you have planned and
themselves. Yet, children need their 1. Be calm. practiced what you want and need to
parents’ involvement at every level uie t a r e a . say, you will have the advantage of
of their education—especially during 2. Choose a q feeling relaxed and comfortable
the middle and high school years, 0 minu te s . during the actual meeting, allowing
where parents must compete with 3. Set aside 3 you to ease the tension of a tough
their child’s peers, cultural trends, learn fro m situation. Remember, role-play,
attractive advertising, and other 4. Be ready to ach other. praise, and practice.
influences in forming their child’s and listen to e
values. Even though you encourage

15
Parent_Talk_book 2/18/05 8:52 AM Page 16

Parent Talk! • The Art of Effective Communication With the School and Your Child

As an effective communicator, I will be… Resourceful: Recognizing and knowing where to


find the school’s and school district’s rules and
Proactive: Speaking out as an advocate for my regulations, as well as any other pertinent
child in his school. information I may need to help my child succeed.

Organized: Keeping my child organized so that his In doing this I will have the P.O.W.E.R.!
schoolwork and classwork are ready every day.
Logging upcoming tests and reports on a calendar
and updating my child’s planners daily. These help
my child—as well as me—stay on top of all
assignments and school events throughout the year.

Willing Participant: Joining the parent


organization of the school and attending as many
meetings as possible. I will be ready to listen,
guide, advocate, and support my child and
his school.

Effective: Listening attentively, giving equal time to


all sides, and creating solutions for success will be
a primary goal with my child at home and in
school. I will be well prepared to compromise with
my child and the teachers and work together in
assisting my child to succeed.

16
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fecisse et über
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