Parent Talk The Art of Effective Communication With The School and Your Child School Talk Series 1st Edition Cheli Digital Version 2025
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Parent_Talk_book 2/18/05 8:52 AM Page 1
Copyright © 2004 by Cheli Cerra and Ruth Jacoby. All rights reserved.
Published by Jossey-Bass
A Wiley Imprint
989 Market Street, San Francisco, CA 94103-1741 www.josseybass.com
Permission is given for individual classroom teachers to reproduce the pages and illustrations
for classroom use. Reproduction of these materials for an entire school system is strictly
forbidden.
Jossey-Bass books and products are available through most bookstores. To contact Jossey-
Bass directly call our Customer Care Department within the U.S. at 800-956-7739, outside the
U.S. at 317-572-3986 or fax 317-572-4002.
Jossey-Bass also publishes its books in a variety of electronic formats. Some content that
appears in print may not be available in electronic books.
ISBN: 0-471-72013-5
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
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Parent Talk! • The Art of Effective Communication With the School and Your Child
Table of Contents
How to Use This Book 9 Snapshot 14 My Child Came Home Without
Introduction 13 Eating Lunch 41
Section 1: Summer 19 Snapshot 15 Why Should I Have to Volunteer
Snapshot 1 My Child Has the Back-to-School Blues 20 in Another Classroom? 42
Snapshot 2 I Am Recently Divorced and Have Snapshot 16 My Child Does Not Have Textbooks 45
Sole Custody of My Child 23 Snapshot 17 The School Bus Is Failing
Snapshot 3 My Child Does Not Speak English 24 to Pick Up My Child 46
Snapshot 4 My Child’s Friend Is a Bad Influence 25 Snapshot 18 I Must Drop Off My Child Very
Snapshot 5 My Child Is Gifted and I Want Her Placed Early at School 47
in the Gifted Program 26 Snapshot 19 My Child’s Books Are Too Heavy
Snapshot 6 My Child Is Failing at a High- for Her to Carry 48
Performing School 28 Snapshot 20 I Am Worried My Child Is Failing 50
Snapshot 7 My Child’s Health Needs to Be Monitored Snapshot 21 The School’s Pickup and Drop-Off
and He Must Take Medication Daily 30 Procedure Is Disorganized 52
Snapshot 8 My Child Has Diabetes 31 Snapshot 22 My Child Is Not Getting Enough
Snapshot 9 I Just Moved to a New Community: Homework 53
How Do I Find a School for My Child? 32 Snapshot 23 The Teacher Can’t Write Correctly 56
Snapshot 10 My Child Does Not Want to Wear the Snapshot 24 My Child Is Fifteen Minutes Late
School Uniform 34 to Class Daily 57
P.S. Practice What to Say When They Say . . . 35 Snapshot 25 My Child’s Homework Takes Up
Too Much Time 58
Section 2: Fall 37 Snapshot 26 The School Newspaper
Snapshot 11 I Can’t Attend Open House 38 Has Grammatical Errors 59
Snapshot 12 My Child’s School Has Mildew 39 Snapshot 27 The School Cafeteria Never Has
Snapshot 13 The School Is Always Doing Fundraisers 40 Any Variety 61
P.S. Practice What to Say When They Say . . . 62
Parent_Talk_book 2/18/05 8:52 AM Page 7
Parent Talk! • The Art of Effective Communication With the School and Your Child
Table of Contents
Section 3: Winter 65 Section 4: Spring 89
Snapshot 28 My Child Does Not Enjoy Reading 66 Snapshot 43 My Child Has Food Allergies and Could Not
Snapshot 29 My Child’s Behavior Has Changed Participate in the Multicultural Food Festival 90
Since He Left Elementary School 68 Snapshot 44 My Child Was Shown an Inappropriate
Snapshot 30 My Child Gets Sick Every Day Movie in School 91
at the Same Time 69 Snapshot 45 The Teacher Was Not Fair in Grading
Snapshot 31 My Child’s Classmate Threatened My Child’s Project 92
to Bring a Gun to School 70 Snapshot 46 My Child Is Being Retained 93
Snapshot 32 I Never Know What Is Happening Snapshot 47 My Child Broke His Leg and the School
at the School 71 Never Called Me 94
Snapshot 33 My Child Wrote on a Wall After Being Snapshot 48 The School Is Always Asking for Money 95
Influenced by His Peers 72 Snapshot 49 I Am Concerned About Adult Supervision
Snapshot 34 The Teacher Is Picking on My Child 74 at the End-of-the-Year Dance 96
Snapshot 35 A Disruptive Classmate Is Hitting My Child 76 Snapshot 50 The Summer Break Is Too Long and My
Snapshot 36 My Child Is Being Suspended for Fighting, Child Will Forget All She Has Learned 97
While the Child Who Started the Fight Is Not 77 Snapshot 51 The School Wants My Child to Keep
Snapshot 37 My Daughter Is Being Sexually Harassed a Summer Journal 98
by Another Student 78 Snapshot 52 My Child Has Come Down With
Snapshot 38 My Child Is Always Getting into Trouble; I Feel “Summeritis” 99
the Staff at School Is Picking on Him 79 P.S. Practice What to Say When They Say . . . 100
Snapshot 39 My Child Told Me There Are Drugs Epilogue 103
in His School 80 Share Your Snapshots 107
Snapshot 40 My Child Got Three F’s on His Report Card 82 Appendix A: From One Parent to Another: Worksheets for
Snapshot 41 I Don’t Understand the Results Your Child’s School Success 111
from My Child’s Standardized Test 83 Appendix B: Bringing the Art of Communication to You:
Snapshot 42 The Teacher Gives Too Many Projects 84 Workshops and Coaching Programs 117
P.S. Practice What to Say When They Say . . . 86 About the Authors 123
Parent_Talk_book 2/18/05 8:52 AM Page 8
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Parent Talk! • The Art of Effective Communication With the School and Your Child
J
ust like you, we are working parents. We checklists, charts, and sample letters to guide you.
know how busy you are, and the last At the end of each chapter we have added role-playing
thing we want this book to do is give you suggestions, questions to ask your child or the
more work. What we do want is to school, and additional resources for further
empower you with the essential knowledge information. By utilizing these quick and simple
and effective actions you can take to tools, you will become confident, and that
make sure your child is achieving and confidence will benefit both you and your child!
show you what you can do with this knowledge
when faced with a difficult situation within the
You will be:
school setting. This book gives you those tools,
• Proactive: Become a take-charge parent
simply and quickly.
and a can-doer, working in your child’s
We have written this book to be easy to read.
best interest;
The snapshots you find throughout this book
• Organized: Keep all your communications
reflect real-life situations parents face in dealing
to and from the school in a safe place,
with teachers and their own children. While the
and consistently update a calendar of
book follows the seasons, divided into quarterly
events the entire family can view;
topics, the information can be put to use year-
• A Good Record-Keeper: Maintain all
round. The situations presented here are some we
of your child’s test scores, returned
personally have experienced as parents, as well as
assignments, report cards, and
scenarios we have experienced working with
progress reports in sequential order;
thousands of parents and children in our combined
• An Accurate Reporter: Act as an
fifty-plus years in education. Each situation is
informed contributor and document
followed by strategies and communication tips on
information at school conferences; and
how you can speak with your child, from elementary
• An Advocate: Be the greatest supporter
through high school. There are worksheets,
of your child.
9
Parent_Talk_book 2/18/05 8:52 AM Page 10
Parent Talk! • The Art of Effective Communication With the School and Your Child
ecause all of us are unique in our Before you begin, we recommend that, as your first
10
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Parent Talk! • The Art of Effective Communication With the School and Your Child
11
Parent_Talk_book 2/18/05 8:52 AM Page 12
Parent_Talk_book 2/18/05 8:52 AM Page 13
INTRODUCTION:
A Co m m u n ic at io n
Bluep r in t fo r a
e ssfu l Sc h o o l Year
Succ
“Educa
not pre tion is
for life paration
; educa
is life i tion
John D tself.”
ewey
Parent_Talk_book 2/18/05 8:52 AM Page 14
Parent Talk! • The Art of Effective Communication With the School and Your Child
14
Parent_Talk_book 2/18/05 8:52 AM Page 15
Parent Talk! • The Art of Effective Communication With the School and Your Child
Parent-to-Parent Tip:
One of the greatest things a parent can do for a child is to independence in your child, he still needs your input and
communicate with that child from day one. From birth guidance. You want to be there for him and know he feels
through childhood, from those difficult teenage years to confident in discussing with you whatever troubles him.
adulthood, you want your child to talk to you. And when he Think back to the time your mother had to handle a
does, it is important for you to listen. difficult situation you put her into when you were a child.
You have many opportunities to get to know your child How did she handle it? Did her techniques work and, if so,
through various sources. One of them is to volunteer at which ones? Try and figure out what your mother did to
your child’s school. Being in your child’s school will give help solve the problem without destroying your confidence.
you insights you can’t get anywhere else. Get to know your Focus on the successful methods she used.
child’s friends. They will open another window into your Role-play is a great way for children—and adults—to
child’s personality. Create a dialogue with your child’s learn how to solve problems. Modeling and practicing can
teachers and coaches. They want your child to succeed make a difficult situation easier to handle. You can use
and can give you valuable information on how to help your role-play to process thoughts and ideas so that you and
child do so. your child can communicate them in a
Many parents start off being very constructive and positive way.
involved at the elementary school Stage all of your snapshots and
L E -P L A Y
HOW TO RO
level, then taper off as their kids concerns prior to school meetings
become older, more independent, and before confronting your child.
and able to do many things for When you have planned and
themselves. Yet, children need their 1. Be calm. practiced what you want and need to
parents’ involvement at every level uie t a r e a . say, you will have the advantage of
of their education—especially during 2. Choose a q feeling relaxed and comfortable
the middle and high school years, 0 minu te s . during the actual meeting, allowing
where parents must compete with 3. Set aside 3 you to ease the tension of a tough
their child’s peers, cultural trends, learn fro m situation. Remember, role-play,
attractive advertising, and other 4. Be ready to ach other. praise, and practice.
influences in forming their child’s and listen to e
values. Even though you encourage
15
Parent_Talk_book 2/18/05 8:52 AM Page 16
Parent Talk! • The Art of Effective Communication With the School and Your Child
Organized: Keeping my child organized so that his In doing this I will have the P.O.W.E.R.!
schoolwork and classwork are ready every day.
Logging upcoming tests and reports on a calendar
and updating my child’s planners daily. These help
my child—as well as me—stay on top of all
assignments and school events throughout the year.
16
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