SOCIAL

GRACE
CANTOS & CLAUS
OBJECTIVES:
• to be able to describe a “finished person”
• to be able to give examples of manners in the family, in public places and
at the table
• to be able to give examples of business etiquette
• to be able to give examples of the proper use of silverware
• to be able to give proper introduction

CANTOS & CLAUS

Social Grace
• popularly known as good manners and etiquette
• it is NOT a “put-on” or “add-on” to one’s personality, they are part of it
• Social graces include the manners that are practiced in our everyday life
• It include things like :
Making proper introduction to others
Listening & not interrupting in conversations
Being careful not to put your foot on your mouth
Maintaining good cellphone etiquette
Using good table manners
MANNERS
• “Social conduct or rules of conduct” - Webster
• Consideration for others is the basis of good manners
• some questions you can use as guides before acting are:
⚬ “Does it make people comfortable and happy?”
⚬ “How does this action affect others?”
• When manners become second nature to a person, he
increases his sense of security, poise, self-confidence and
self- respect
• Rules of conduct in relationships were of necessity developed and
refined through the ages.
• These rules make us more comfortable and reflect a feeling of what is
right toward others
• "the forms, manners, and ceremonies established by convention as
acceptable or required in social relations, in a profession, or in official
life."
• In the world of hospitality, nothing is a
more natural of communicating an attitude
of cheer in welcoming a guest and making
him or her feel at ease than smiling.
• It makes you look approachable, friendly,
relaxed, open and comfortable.
• It shows others that you enjoy life.
• It also makes you look younger. • If you want to look and sound sincere,
maintain eye contact with the person you
are speaking to.
• It shows that we acknowledge their
presence and that you are listening to his
or her every word.
SUGGESTED WORDS
TO USE OFTEN
WORDS TO USE INSTEAD
AVOID
• Good morning, good
afternoon, good evening
• Please - yes, please
I don’t know Let me Check
• Thank you
I can’t do that Let’s See what I Can Do
• It’s my pleasure.
You will have to We can Help You
• I am sorry. No Yes, or Maybe, No Problem
• Please, be my guest.
 Family Manners
HONOR YOUR PARENTS SISTERS AND BROTHERS

• Don’t tease
• Ask for their advice • Don’t be sarcastic
• Look at things from their • Don’t tattle
perspective • Showed love
• Try to please them • Helped one another
• Have a good attitude • Picked up for one another
• Show respect • Didn’t worry about “favorites”
• Thank them • Didn’t count chores
• Compliment them • Don’t mock
• Obey them • Stick up for one another
 SOCIAL GRACES IN PUBLIC PLACES

• When walking in groups, • If there is only one available seat in the • When entering the
bus, the man should give it to the woman. restaurant, the man
do not walk more than
• When women stand on the bus, they precedes the woman and
two abreast.
should keep their feet firmly planted on leads her to a convenient
• Let others pass from
the floor. place.
behind you. • When the seat has been
• When walking along the • If the woman is escorted by a man, the
lady should climb onto the bus first. chosen, either the waiter
sidewalk, the man should or the man pulls out a
• In leaving, the man should precede the
be on the curb side. chair and seats the woman.
woman and extend a helping hand.
The Smorgasbord It is a buffet of such variety and interest that is
becoming increasing by popular, both in
Philippines and United States.

• When eating, you should not overload

your plate.
• If you choose foods that do not go well
together, use a clean plate for each trip.
• Leave your used plate and silver at the
table for the waiter to remove
• Take your time.
CALLING THE WAITER PAYING THE CHECK TIPPING

• Catch his eye and then raise • The host catches the eye of waiter • If there is a notation at the bottom
your hand as if to say “ Come and says “ Check, please”. of the check “Please pay cashier”,
here.” • He looks at it, checks for mistakes put the tip on the table, collect your
• If he does not look your way, and returns it to the plate with the belongings and leave.
• If he has no loose change, he
you may call “waiter” or money.
“waitress” quietly. • If he has found an error, he points pays the check first and quickly
• If he is too far from you, ask it out quietly. returns to the table so that the
another waiter nearby to call • If the management is unpleasant, waiter knows he is not
him for you. simply pay the check and do not forgotten.
• Clapping the hands, whistling, return to that restaurant again.
shouting, or saying “psst” is
considered rude.
 • Conservative clothing should be worn.
• Do not unduly attract attention when you enter and walk quietly.
• Avoid greeting friends in loud voice.
• If you have something to say, whisper only.
CHURCH • Participate actively, but DO NOT attract attention by praying too
loudly or singing at the top of your voice.

• It is not fashionable to be late for the theater at any time.

• The man should sit in the aisle.
• When there are two couples, the man should go in first, followed by
THEATER the two women and finally the other man.

• Unless its a movie premier, “casual” attire is in order.

• If the place is rather dark, wait at the rear until your eyes get used to the
darkness.
• Talking, coughing, rattling cellophane and candy wrappers, crackling
MOVIES of nuts are annoying and disturbing to everyone in the audience.
• Sticky fruit seeds and peanuts should be gathered in a paper bag.
INTRODUCTIONS
It is an important part of good manners and you must accept the responsibility and perfect the skill of performing them
with a natural ease. Introductions have to be made by you.

Mentioning name of person you

1 are honoring first 4 Shaking Hands

Business reversal of ordinary

2 introduction
5 Rising for an Introduction

Acknowledging an Introduction
3 6 Introducing Oneself
Table Manners Cocktail Parties
The most common form of entertaining, and they
Dining ranges from very formal situations to an are the most popular form of business entertaining.
ordinary, day-to-day table amenities. Neatness,
noiselessness and sociability are the goals of dining
etiquette.
They require less preparation and are less
expensive than a dinner party.

The menu varies, - all these are attractively

arranged on the table and the guests go around the
table and serve themselves as often as they wish.
Table Etiquette
Refers to the set of rules and customs that govern proper
behavior and manners at the dining table. This includes
guidelines on how to use utensils, napkins and glassware, as
well as how to engage in polite conversation and interact with
other diners.

• When cutting meat, hold the fork in the left hand, tines down, with
the handle touching the palm of your hand. Use the same grip on the
knife, with the handle lying under the palm of the right hand.

The American, in which you eat with the fork in the right hand and
change over to cut.
The Continental, in which cut-off bites of meat can be speared with the
fork, tines down, in the left hand and transferred to the mouth with the left
hand.
TABLE ETIQUETTE

2. The fork is slipped under the food, and the morsel lifted up and conveyed to the mouth. Carry the food directly to the mouth, not
stopping halfway to talk.

3. Get conservatively-sized bites. Do not stuff your mouth with food by taking bite after bite without chewing Chew with your mouth
closed and chew thoroughly. Do not talk with your mouth full.

4. Sit erect at the table. Don't lean your elbow on the table. Your head should be down slightly, but not dropped low over your plate.
Keep one hand on the lap except when you are cutting food or when steadying a dish.

5. Things eaten with a fork Meat, (fish and poultry, too) vegetables, salads, pie, sticky or very soft cake, pie or cake ala mode, brick ice
cream (if it is very hard), watermelon and other juicy, uncooked fruits and berries. (Remember, food is to be lifted upon the fork, not
speared.)
TABLE ETIQUETTE

6. Things eaten with the fingers bread, rolls, sandwiches, practically all of the popularly-termed "rabbit foods," as snacks;
nuts, candy; cookies, tea cakes, tiny tarts, cake that is not sticky or excessively crumbly; bite-size chunks of solid cheese,
apples and such fruit; unless these foods are served with a serving fork or spoon, they are also to be taken from the serving
tray or plate with the fingers. It goes without saying, of course, that you touch only those morsels that you take.

7. Never use your bread to mop your plate, nor do you "dunk" your bread in coffee or cocoa.

8. Take soup with a spoon, spooning away from you. Do not "slurp" your food with your spoon. Don't blow on the soup to
cool it. Wait until it is cool enough to eat.

9. If you drop your silverware, leave it there. Apologize briefly; do not make a scene.
 Dining Etiquette

• Table Setting

Remember the guideline "to start at the outside and work

your way in." If youn two forks, which are the same size,
begin with the fork on the outside. Many restaurants use the
same size of fork for both the salad and main course.
DINING ETIQUETTE Dessert Utensils. Dessert utensils may be found

2 Napkin. When dining with others, place your napkin on your

lap after everyone at your table has been seated. Do not open
4 placed across the top of the place setting. Slide these
utensils down for use after the main course is
removed (fork to the left and spoon to the right).
your napkin in mid-air. As you remove your napkin from the
table begin to open below the table level and place on your
Passing. Pass "community food" such as the
lap. If you must leave a meal, do so between courses, and
breadbasket, salt and pepper, and salad dressing to
place your napkin on your chair or to the left of your plate. the right. Always pass the salt and pepper together.
When a meal is completed, place your napkin to the right of
your plate - never on the plate. 5 When passing items such as a creamer, syrup pitcher
or gravy boat, pass it with the handle pointing
toward the recipient.

Bread. Bread/rolls should never be eaten whole.

3 6
Break into smaller, moremanageable pieces.
Served. Wait for everyone at your table to be served Buttering only a few bites at a time. Toast and garlic
before beginning to eat. However, if an individual who bread however may be eaten as whole pieces since
has not been served encourages you to begin eating, they are usually already buttered. If you are served a
you may do so. Eat slowly while waiting for their food
to be served. piping hot muffin or biscuit, you may break in half
crosswise, butter and put back together. However
when ready to actually eat, break it into small pieces.
DINING ETIQUETTE

7 Glasses. A variety of types and sizes of glasses can be used

throughout the meal Remember your items to drink will be located in
the area above your knife and spoon. Coffee cups may be located to
the right of the knife and spoon.

Finished. When finished with a course, leave your plates in the same

8
position that they were presented to you. In other words, do not push
your plates away or stack.

Guest. If you are someone's guest at a meal, ask the person what
he/she recommends. By doing this, you will learn price range
guidelines and have an idea of what to order. Usually order an item
in the mid price range. Also keep in mind, the person who typically

9 initiates the meal will pay.

 Basic Table Manners

1 Don't ask for a doggy bag when 4 DO NOT smoke when dining out.
you are a guest.

Order foods that can be eaten

2 with a knife and fork.
5 Sit up straight at the table.

DO NOT order alcoholic When you are not eating, keep

3 beverages. 6 your hands on the lap or resting
on the table.
 Basic Table Manners

If food gets caught between your teeth, go

7 Don't season your food before 10 to a mirror where you can remove the food
you have tasted it. in private.

Never chew with your mouth

8 open or make loud noises. 11 Engage in table conversation.

DO NOT SLURP soup from a Don't leave the table during the
9 spoon. 12 meal except in an emergency.
 Basic Table Manners

If you want to go to the bathroom or It is best for the left handed to sit at the
13 suddenly become sick, simply excuse. 16 left end of the table or at the head of the
table.

If you need something that you cannot reach If food spills off your plate, you may pick it
14 easily, politely ask the person closest to the 17 up with a piece of silverware and place on
item to pass it. the edge of your plate.

If a piece of silverware falls, pick Never spit a piece of bad food or

15 it up if you can reach it or ask for 18 tough gristle into your napkin.
a clean one.
 BUSINESS ETIQUETTE
Everyone should be treated with equal courtesy and respect.

PUNCTUALITY GREETINGS TELEPHONE MANNERS

Be on time. No one wants to When meeting someone, rise if you Have a definite purpose for
keep waiting. are seated, smile, extend your hand calling someone. Identify
and repeat the other person's name. yourself and speak clearly into
the phone.
 BUSINESS ETIQUETTE
FIVE KEY WORD: Please, Thank you and Well Done

SMOKING OFFICE PARTIES CULTURAL COURTESY

Show appreciation and respect
Be aware of smoking policies. These are good opportunities to for the differences between our
improve morale and good will. Do country and someone else's. Be
not discuss business. sensitive to their rules of
etiquette.
The Art of
Conversation

• Auditory impressions are as important as visual ones.

• The tones of a lilting voice are as appealing as
dramatic color- ing.
• An attractive, creative use of words is as interesting as
smart accessories, and a lack of vulgarity and
grammatical error in daily speech is as important as
fasti- diousness of body and clothing.
• You must also accept the fact that what you say is as
significant as the way in which it is said.