Sound Transit Washington Powerpoint

Oops!

I didn’t mean it to
come out that way!
(a.k.a “How to spend more
time getting what you want
and less time STRESSING
over what you didn’t.”)

Scott
“Q”
Marcus

CRP,
www.ThisTimeIMeanIt.com
707.442.6243
Facebook.com/ThisTimeIMeanIt
@ThisTimeIMeanIt
1

Wednesday, December 18, 13

What You’re
Looking For

2


What You’re
Looking For
Difficult People
19%
Persuasive
13%
General Knowledge
23%

Understand Attitude
17%

Speaking to Groups
28%

2


Your Attitude

3


79%

Your Attitude

Below Average
1%

Pretty Good
69%

Average
19%
Extremely Upbeat
10%

3


79%

Your Attitude

(57%)

Below Average
1%

Pretty Good
69%

Average
19%
Extremely Upbeat
10%

3


Co-Workers’

Pretty Good
49%

52%
Extremely Poor
1%

Below Average
10%
Extremely Upbeat
3%

Average
36%

4
2


Co-Workers’

52%
(50%)

Pretty Good
49%

Extremely Poor
1%

Below Average
10%
Extremely Upbeat
3%

Average
36%

4
2


Others’
Pretty Good
30%

31%
Extremely Upbeat
1%

Below Average
12%
Average
57%

5
2


Others’
Pretty Good
30%

31%
Extremely Upbeat
1%

(36%)

Below Average
12%
Average
57%

5
2


Attitude Talks
Verbal
7%

Non Verbal
55%

Use of Voice
38%

6
Albert Mehrabian [Nonverbal Communication (Chicago: Aldine-Atherton, 1972)]


Attitude Talks
Verbal
7%

Non Verbal
55%

93%

Use of Voice
38%

6
Albert Mehrabian [Nonverbal Communication (Chicago: Aldine-Atherton, 1972)]


Perceptions

7


Attitude Talks


Attitude Talks

9


Attitude
“Complex
interaction
between
feelings and
beliefs that
affect how we
react to our
environment.”
14

Your comments are welcomed: scottq@scottqmarcus.com • www.ThisTimeIMeantIt.com


Honest Attitude Prayer

15


So far today, God, I've done all right.
I haven't gossiped, haven't lost my
temper, haven't been greedy,
grumpy, nasty, selfish, overindulgent, or told anyone to mind
their own business and stay out of
mine.
I'm really glad about that!…
15


But, in a few minutes, God,
I'm going to get out of bed,
and from then on I'm
probably going to need a lot
more help.

15


Video

16



Examples of Attitude

17

I
bet
living
in
a
nudist

colony
takes
all
the
fun
out

of
Halloween.
-‐Age
13

Examples of Attitude

17

What Causes
Attitude?

18


What Causes
Attitude?
1. Workload (4.1) - tie
1. Management (4.1) - tie
1. Training (4.1) - tie
4. Health (4.0)
5. Home Life (3.8)
18


What Keeps You
Awake

Family
Health

State of World
Other

Job


ZZZZZZZ...

Attitude Trend

20


Attitude Trend

Increased Workload 4.1
More Results 3.2
Training has Improved 3.0
Management has Improved 2.9
20


Attitude Beliefs

21


Attitude Beliefs

Controllable 4.6

Learned 4.0

It’s My Choice 3.2
21


The Plan

Attitude
Cycle

22



The Plan

Attitude
Cycle

Attitude

22



The Plan

Attitude
Cycle

Attitude

Willpower

22



The Plan

Attitude
Cycle

Attitude
Behaviors
Willpower

22



The Plan

Attitude
Cycle

Results

Attitude
Behaviors
Willpower

22



The Plan

Feelings
Results

Attitude
Cycle

Attitude
Behaviors
Willpower

22



How We Deal
With Attitude

23
2


How We Deal
With Attitude

Pretend
Other

Enlist Others
Ignore
Make Jokes

Supervisor

Ask to Help

“Get Over it!”

23
2


The Zebra
Rule

24



Six-Point
Plan

25



Six-Point
Plan
1. What drives you “nuts”?

25



Six-Point
Plan
2. Why does it bother you?

25



Six-Point
Plan
3. How do you feel when
you’re “nuts”?

25



Six-Point
Plan
4. What positive feelings
would you prefer?

25



Six-Point
Plan
would you prefer?
5. When do you feel that ?

25



Six-Point
Plan
would you prefer?
5. When do you feel that ?
6. What do you need to do
to feel that right now?
25



Making
Sense of It All

26



Making
Sense of It All

< Activity!

Inspiration >

< Execution

Creation >

Logical
Physical

26

Emotional
Spiritual



Making
Sense of It All

< Activity!

Inspiration >

< Execution

Creation >

Logical
Physical

26

Emotional
Spiritual

<<<<Change



Attitude

27



Attitude

Feelings

27

Beliefs



Attitude
Feelings

28



Attitude
Feelings

Experience
(Observations)

28



Attitude
Feelings

Experience Biology
(Observations)

28



Attitude
Feelings

Experience Biology
(Observations)

28

Response



Video

29



Conflict
Cycle

30



Conflict
Cycle

30

CALM



Conflict
Cycle

CALM
Expectations

30



Conflict
Cycle

CALM
Expectations

Noise
30



Conflict
Cycle

CALM
Expectations

Resolution

Noise
30



Conflict
Cycle

CALM

Follow Up
Expectations
Resolution

Noise
30



Video

31



Reasons for
Conflict

32



Reasons for
Conflict
•Shoulds
•Disqualifying
•Inappropriate Rescue
•Perfectionism
•Boundary Violation
•Selective Viewing

32



Selective
Viewing

33



Your Pet Peeves

34


Your Pet Peeves
Dishonest 4.8
Innapproriate 3.9
Bad Attitude 3.8
Poor Hygiene 3.8
Bossy 3.6
Gossips 3.6
34


Conflict Styles

35



Conflict Styles
•firecracker
•cold shoulder
•backstabber

35

•memory lane
•social zinger
•last word



Most Disliked
Communication Styles

36


Most Disliked
Communication Styles
Backstabber

4.5

Just sayin...

3.7

Firecracker

3.4

Cold Shoulder

3.3

Memory Lane

3.3

Last Word

3.1
36


Your Style

37


Your Style

Memory Lane
20%
Last Word
15%
Cold Shoulder
19%
Backstabber
17%
Firecracker
17%

Just sayin...
13%
37


The Five Year Rule

38



The Five Year Rule

Will anybody know or
care about this event
five years from now?

38



Innappropriate

Rescue

39



Innappropriate

Rescue

•
•
•

39

Can I help?
Want my help?
Do I want to help?



Appropriate
Questions

40



Appropriate
Questions

Inquiry

Open

Closed Conﬁrmation

40



Video

41



The 3 Rs
•
•

Reflect

•

42

Recognize

Redirect



Example:

The 3 Rs
•
•

Reflect

•

42

Recognize

Redirect



Example:
I appreciate ____.

The 3 Rs

Recognize

However when you do
that, I feel ____.
What I’d really like is
___________.
42

Reflect
Redirect



Disarming
Think “LAST”
L isten
A pologize

(Acknowledge)

S olve
T hank

43



Most Powerful
Word

44



Most Powerful
Word

44

WOW



Tying it All
Together

45



Tying it All
Together
ng
i

g
ng ng
g
n
n
i
io ing
io nin fyin est
t
t
ki
en rim ues ste lari
gg han
t
In . P
Q . Li . C
Su . T
1.
2
3.
4
5
6.
7

45



46



Fair Fighting
•
•

46

Begin with “I”
No Interruptions

•
•

No Denials
No Cross Complaints



Talk Time
•10-20 Minutes
•I like

•Please change
•Get agreement


Staying the
Course

48



Staying the
Course
•

48

Positive Intention



Staying the
Course
•
•

48

Positive Intention
Always a Choice



Staying the
Course
•
•

Always a Choice

•

48

Positive Intention

Feedback,
not Failure



Staying the
Course
•
•

Always a Choice

•

Feedback,
not Failure

•

48

Positive Intention

Have the Tools



Keeping it
Going

49



Keeping it
Going

Do 1 Thing

49



Keeping it
Going

Do 1 Thing
Make it Small

49



Keeping it
Going

Do 1 Thing
Make it Small

Thi
nk
“1s
t”

Focus on Today

49



Scott
“Q”
Marcus

CRP,
707.442.6243
@ThisTimeIMeanIt
50


Oops!

I didn’t mean it to
come out that way!
Scott would love to work with YOU:

•
•
•
•
•

Trainings
Webinars
Workshops
Keynotes
Coaching

Contact him for more information

Scott
“Q”
Marcus

CRP,
707.442.6243
@ThisTimeIMeanIt
50


Sound Transit Washington Powerpoint

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