15 Lessons from 15 Years in the Industry

15 LESSONS FROM
15 YEARS IN THE INDUSTRY
@freimark
3 fuck-up
stories
inside!

Although there are big names that I could drop, I spare you the name-dropping.
• Worked 15 years as UX & Product Human (in 4 digital agencies)
• Worked in projects with team sizes from 3 to ~50 people
• Co-organized UXcamp Europe 2013 – 2017
• Learned a few things along the way
This is a very personal talk. Hence, no company names & no company slides.

CLIENTS
TEAMS
MYSELF EXPLICIT
CONTENT

Understand the business.
• Do your homework.
– The industry/market
– The company
– The product
– The customers
– Constraints (technical, organizational, legal)
• Show up with assumptions, but also ask questions.
– What should we know?
– Wishes, problems, expectations?
– What should be different afterwards?
– What’s important to you?
– What’s the real problem here?
• Understand how your company makes money.
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Communicate clearly.
• Bring it to the point!
• Write short sentences.
Think in headlines.
2

Be honest & cut the crap.
• Be authentic.
• Make use of the word “problem“.
• Say what you do, and do what you say.
• Be honest about what’s possible in time, in budget
and in quality – and what’s not.
• Do not pretend that you can & will solve every
problem, or that things will be easy.
• Do not pretend there’s a magic bullet.
Every solution has its pros & cons. Different people might weigh these differently.
Try to understand why they there are different opinions.
3

Have a viewpoint – but be open to
other views.
Remember: You might be the expert for this type of
project or this method – but clients & stakeholders are
the experts for their domain.
4

Plan ahead – but be ready to
improvise.
• Plan in detail.
I plan workshops down to 15 minutes or even 5 minutes.
• Throw the plan away if it doesn’t make sense in the
current situation. Improvise!
5

Give team members room to make
their own decisions.
• Everyone has valuable experiences and can
contribute with ideas & insights.
• A “senior“ title doesn’t mean that you’re the one
with the best ideas. It means that you have made
more mistakes than others.
• If you’re the Lead or PO: Don’t micromanage.
Details matter. But most of the time it’s okay to just make sure that we’re heading
in the right direction.
• Let junior team members make their own mistakes.
6

Beware that we’re always short on
time and budget.
• Chances are high that we’re running out of time
and/or budget at some point.
We can’t put cherries on every cream topping of the cake.
• Crossing the half-way mark means: Think
backwards.
What has to be really done within the remaining time and budget?
• Cut corners if necessary.
Not in quality, but in scope.
• Be pragmatic.
7

Cover your team’s back.
• Don’t pass the pressure on to the team.
As a Lead or Scrum Master it’s your job to push back.
• Ask the team what’s possible without working crazy
hours.
• Prioritize.
• Make decisions…
• …or give clients/stakeholders a menu with trade-off
options to choose from.
• Tell clients if things won’t going to happen.
8

We are not building Noah’s Ark,
which has to be finished on time.
One of my first team leaders
“
My take on that: Sometimes you have to put in a
few extra hours for two or three weeks. But not
every day for months. That’s either bad
planning or exploitation (or both).
Beware that we’re always short on
time and budget.
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If you really want and/or have to finish the
project in time, in budget & in quality: Reduce
the scope.
If the amount of work isn’t feasible:
• Move the deadline
• Reduce the scope
• Reduce the quality
This could mean that you have to engage
in unpleasant conversations.

Give good feedback.
• Don’t trash results in an unfriendly way.
• Be specific.
– Appreciate the good aspects
– Explain what’s not sufficient yet
– Explain why it’s not sufficient
– Provide a path to a possible solution, e.g. an example
9

Have a good time.
• Support each other.
Work cooperatively, not competitively.
• Collaborate closely with people from other
disciplines.
Developers!
• Celebrate successes.
• Find the best Sushi or Schnitzel or Falafel in town
with your team mates.
• Have fun!
10

Have a portfolio mindset.
• Projects for big names will open doors.
• Big projects will open doors.
• Big projects for big names will open doors.
• But: Also value small projects for smaller clients –
every project is an opportunity to learn!
• Try different types of projects.
• Try different roles.
11

Curb your FOMO.
• In the long run it doesn’t matter whether you learn
that hot new tool one year sooner or later.
• In the long run it doesn’t matter whether your next
project is that AI-driven chatbot running on a
blockchain.
• Highly recommended talk: “Hyper! Hyper!! How to
deal with trends, fads and constant change“ by
Rupert Platz
slideshare.net/r000pert/hyper-hyper-how-to-deal-with-trends-fads-and-constant-change
12

Learn stuff that’s really relevant.
This is a people business – thus, you need to
understand yourself & your fellow humans.
Some examples:
• Personality traits: Big Five
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Five_personality_traits
• Communication: Four-sides model by Friedemann Schulz von Thun
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Four-sides_model +
lecture2go.uni-hamburg.de/l2go/-/get/v/10197
• Communication styles by Friedemann Schulz von Thun
de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kommunikationsstile_nach_Schulz_von_Thun
• Conflict escalation model by Friedrich Glasl
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friedrich_Glasl%27s_model_of_conflict_escalation
13

Reading recommendations
English:
• Liminal Thinking
Dave Gray
• Leading Change
John P. Kotter
German:
• Spaß an der Arbeit, trotz Chef
Rainer Sachse
• Miteinander reden
Friedemann Schulz von Thun
No pun intended!
I like my boss!

Unplug from work.
A few suggestions:
• Spend time with friends & family.
• Enjoy nature.
• Move your body.
• Read books that are not work-related.
• Go to the movies.
• Visit an exhibition in a museum.
• Hone your skills in a hobby.
Try improv!
• Do nothing: Enjoy a weekend without any plans.
14

Make time. It’s a question of
priorities.
“I don’t have time!“

You make time by electing
not to do something else.
Randy Pausch, HCI Professor at Carnegie Mellon University
Died of pancreatic cancer at the age of 48
Last Lecture: youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo
Time Mgmt: youtube.com/watch?v=oTugjssqOT0
“

Been there,
done that,
bought the t-shirt.

Everybody knows someone.
It can happen to anybody.
It can happen anywhere.

!
This is only my personal experience.
This is not medical advice.
Do not use this to diagnose or treat yourself or others.
Get professional help from a doctor or therapist in case
my experience resonates with you.
!

MY EXPERIENCE
The more time you spend with stressful things &
the less time you spend to wind down and to live,
the more you’re setting the course towards burnout.

One can suffer from burnout quicker than you might think.
• A friend of mine got himself into psychiatry in just 4 months.
• My experience: Recovery is easier & faster if you act sooner rather than
later.

Burnout doesn’t happen overnight – it’s a downward spiral.
Maslach Cherniss Lauderdale Edelwich Burisch Freudenberger/
North
Prieß
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The 12 stages by Freudenberger & North are a bit old (1974), but vivid.
1. The compulsion to prove oneself
2. Working harder
3. Neglecting needs
4. Displacement of conflicts
5. Revision of values (e.g. work becomes more important than friends & family)
6. Denial of emerging problems
7. Withdrawal
8. Odd behavioral changes
9. Depersonalization
10. Inner emptiness
11. Depression
12. Burnout syndrome
I didn’t notice that I was already
on a downward path.

My personal experience had 3 stages (definitively not scientific).
1. On the way to being fucked
2. Almost fucked
3. Fucked
a.k.a. full-blown depression

My personal warning signs (indicating that I need to exit the spiral)
• Eating unhealthy (more than usual)
• Being unable to stop thinking about work
• Binging streaming video on too many evenings
• Less time/interest for unplug from work activities
This is only my personal experience. This is not medical advice. Do not use this to diagnose or treat yourself or others. Get professional help from a doctor or therapist in case my experience resonates with you.
You might not be able to pull yourself out of this on your own – when in doubt, seek professional help. Call a crisis hotline or 112 in case of an emergency.
On the way to being fucked
Almost fucked (fucked if ignored)
• No interest in seeing friends
• Living on autopilot
• Weekends & vacation don’t help to recharge
• Feeling constantly exhausted & indifferent
• Stress begins to manifest itself in physical
symptoms

You need your friends.
And your friends need you.

Stay healthy.
• Make health a priority – before your health sets the
priorities for you.
• Recognize warning signs* for your physical & mental
health – and seek professional help. When in doubt, ask
a professional.
• Learn to cope with stress (in a healthy way).
• Learn to say “No“ (in a friendly way).
• Have other sources for experiences of success besides
your job. Your job shouldn’t be your only purpose in life.
• Respect the health of your fellow humans.
*) Yours might be different from mine.
15

Reading recommendations
English:
• Why has nobody told me this before?
Dr. Julie Smith
Follow her on social media for bite-sized psychology insights:
– twitter.com/Dr_Julie_Smith
– youtube.com/c/DrJulie
– instagram.com/drjulie
– tiktok.com/@drjuliesmith
German:
• Burnout kommt nicht nur von Stress
Dr. Mirriam Prieß

Clients Teams Myself
Understand the business.
Communicate clearly.
Be honest & cut the crap.
Have a viewpoint – but be open
to other views.
Plan ahead – but be ready to
improvise.
Give team members room to
make their own decisions.
Beware that we’re always short
on time and budget.
Give good feedback.
Have a good time.
Have a portfolio mindset.
Curb your FOMO.
Learn stuff that’s really
relevant.
Unplug from work.
Stay healthy.
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Advance yourself not as a UX Designer or
a Product person, but as a human being.
It’s a constant journey.
You are never done.

Best of luck!
On the Web
twitter.com/freimark
vimeo.com/freimark
slideshare.net/sfreimark
linkedin.com/in/sfreimark
xing.com/profile/Stefan_Freimark
Contact
stefan@freimark.de

!
There are similarities as well as differences between
burnout and depression. But this presentation won’t
untangle these.
i

How to get out of burnout or depression? It depends.
• Make an online test for a first self-assessment.
Examples for burnout:
– German: aok.de/bw-gesundnah/psyche-und-seele/burnout-test
– German: therapie.de/psyche/info/test/weitere/burnout/
– English: mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/burnout/art-20046642
– English: psychologytoday.com/intl/tests/career/burnout-test-service-fields
Examples for depression:
– German: deutsche-depressionshilfe.de/depression-infos-und-hilfe/selbsttest-offline
– German: therapie.de/psyche/info/test/depressionen/depression-test/
– English: nhs.uk/mental-health/self-help/guides-tools-and-activities/depression-anxiety-self-
assessment-quiz/
– English: anxietycoach.mayoclinic.org/depression-coach/depression-self-assessment/
Self-assessments can’t replace a diagnosis by an expert. Ask a professional if you’re struggling.
When in doubt, ask a professional!
• Ask your general practitioner
• Make an appointment with a
therapist
• Call a crisis hotline
If it’s really bad:
• Go to the ER if you need help
today
• Call 112 if you’re suicidal
Be careful with big decisions in the
middle of depression.
This is only my personal experience. This is not medical advice. Do not use this to diagnose or treat yourself or others. Get help from a professional doctor or therapist in case my experience resonates with you.
You might not be able to pull yourself out of this on your own – when in doubt, seek professional help. Call 112 in case of an emergency.

How to get out of burnout or depression? It depends.
• If you don’t have experience with depression & therapy…
– Ask a professional, e.g. your family doctor. He/She will most likely give you a sick leave.
– Consider a therapy.
– Ask a friend for support (who went through this).
– Inform yourself on symptoms & warning signs of both burnout & depression (from trusted sources).
– For Germany: Consider a registered online course to bridge the waiting time before therapy begins.
(The Federal Institute for Drugs and Medical Devices lists registered applications: diga.bfarm.de – your
general practitioner can prescribe you one, but he/she might not know about these, though.)
• If you do have experience with depression & therapy…
– You know your tools.
– If you can’t dig yourself out of this: Ask a professional.
When in doubt, ask a professional!
• Ask your general practitioner
• Make an appointment with a
therapist
• Call a crisis hotline
If it’s really bad:
• Go to the ER if you need help
today
• Call 112 if you’re suicidal
Be careful with big decisions in the
middle of depression.

What to do as a friend/partner?
DO
• Be there, ask questions, listen
• Offer your friend/partner to make an appointment with
a doctor/therapist
• Make offers for activities (no pressure)
• Inform yourself on depression
• Take care for yourself (don’t get dragged down as well)
• When in doubt, ask a professional, e.g. a crisis hotline
• Call 112 in case of emergency
DON’T
• Don’t say things like:
– “Pull yourself together.“
– “Take a vacation.“
• If you haven’t experienced it yourself: Don’t give
unsolicited advice – you don’t know what you’re talking
about.
• Don’t apply pressure
• Don’t take things personal
I can’t give specific advice on what to do in your situation. A general advice: Care for each other.
Here are some general tips on depression from the perspective of a friend/partner I found useful…

What to do as a manager?
DO
In general, to foster a healthy workplace:
• Set realistic goals
• Be a role model
– Don’t work crazy hours
– Don’t work while sick
– Don’t work on weekends or during vacation
• Curb the enthusiasm of overzealous employees (e.g.
send people home who show up sick at work)
If an employee is in a crisis (burnout, depression or other):
• Get help from HR on how to support your employee
• Be supportive
• Provide security
DON’T
If an employee has a crisis and/or is sick:
• Don’t diagnose
• Don’t apply pressure
• Don’t think that this person is weak – often, your best
employees are the ones who burn out (also, depression
isn’t a weakness, and it can hit everyone – with or
without a burnout)
• Don’t judge
This is only my personal experience. This is not medical or legal advice. Do not use this to diagnose or treat yourself or others. Get help from a professional doctor or therapist in case my experience resonates with you.
Do say that you noticed that sth. seems
not to be okay, and encourage the
employee to ask a professional

What to do as an employer?
DO
• Inform leadership & employees about company
offerings to sustain & strengthen health
• Encourage leadership & employees e.g. to…
– keep one day per week free of meetings
– take breaks
– not schedule meetings back to back
• Cooperate with a healthcare insurer and offer health
days
• Offer an employee assistance program
• Promote your health initiatives in your employer
branding to attract talent
Employee’s health will become even more important in an
aging society and with climate change!
DON’T
• Don’t ignore the topic of mental & physical health at the
workplace
This is only my personal experience. This is not medical or legal advice. Do not use this to diagnose or treat yourself or others. Get help from a professional doctor or therapist in case my experience resonates with you.

For your watchlist
English:
• If your mate's acting differently, #AskTwice
youtube.com/watch?v=nOkH2jGK4p0
• “I’m Fine“ - Learning To Live With Depression |
Jake Tyler | TEDxBrighton
youtube.com/watch?v=IDPDEKtd2yM
• Understanding Job Burnout – Dr. Christina
Maslach
youtube.com/watch?v=gRPBkCW0R5E
• UX Beers – October 2020 – The UX of Burnout:
There and Back Again
youtube.com/watch?v=wuI70zztoqw
• Stuck between the Old and New (Liminal Space)
youtube.com/watch?v=mNxmWbH4ZOE
• Apple TV+: The me you can’t see
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Me_You_Can%27t_See +
youtube.com/watch?v=dWevopoBmAE
German:
• Burnout Warnsignale
youtube.com/watch?v=16LzmOT4TDw
• 8 Sätze, die du zu depressiven Menschen nicht
sagen solltest
youtube.com/watch?v=Ysewrnc9u5w
• So HILFST du Menschen mit DEPRESSIONEN!
youtube.com/watch?v=HlJv5UQ6jCk
• Depression kann jeden treffen: Der Tod von
Robert Enke | NDR Doku | 45 Min
youtube.com/watch?v=8pPnc17QTxM
• Nova Meierhenrich über das Leben mit der
Depression in der Familie
youtube.com/watch?v=XzqJ4jN55Lw
• Mit Depression umgehen: Tipps für Angehörige
und Außenstehende
youtube.com/watch?v=wFP0DU-u0HE

For your podcast playlist
English:
• I am. I have. Episode 96: “Managing burnout with
Dr Julie Smith“ (04.01.2022)
castro.fm/episode/K5CEX0
German:
• TK-Podcast „Ist das noch gesund?“ mit Dr.
Mirriam Prieß (17.02.2020)
castro.fm/episode/2N0nzM
• Sex-Podcast der ZEIT: „Ist das normal?“ mit Prof.
Dr. med. Bert te Wildt zu „Burn on“ (25.04.2022)
castro.fm/episode/kqKlQ4
• Kopfsalat: Drüberleben, drüberschreiben –
Autorin Kathrin Weßling über ihre Depression
(13.02.2020)
castro.fm/episode/dMALPM
• DLF Tacheles: Psychotherapeut Thorsten
Padberg über Depressionen (19.02.2022)
castro.fm/episode/Wa3ake
• NDR Info: Raus aus der Depression
ndr.de/nachrichten/info/podcast5110.html

Unterstützung bekommen
In Deutschland:
• Telefonseelsorge: 0800 – 111 0 111
• Hausarzt
• Über die Terminservice-Stelle der KV eine
psychotherapeutische Sprechstunde
vereinbaren: 116 117
• Therapeuten-Suche von Pro Psychotherapie e.V.
therapie.de
• Hilfsangebote-Finder von Freunde fürs Leben
frnd.de/hilfe/hilfsangebote-finder
• zeit.de: So finden Sie einen Therapieplatz
zeit.de/therapieplatz +
zeit.de/gesundheit/2021-12/therapieplatz-suche-infografik.pdf
In Berlin:
• Berliner Krisendienst
berliner-krisendienst.de
• Sozialpsychiatrischer Dienst
berlin.de/lb/psychiatrie/hilfe-in-krisen/sozialpsychiatrische-dienste-der-
bezirke

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