2017 aacr youth day
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The document provides an overview of a breakout session at an annual youth conference focused on soft skills. It includes topics like multitasking, communication styles, listening skills, conflict management, and resolving conflicts in seven steps. Breakout sessions will cover the three layers of the brain, popular culture vs work culture, types of communication, barriers to communication, and managing others' anger. Participants will do an exercise on listening and evaluating listening skills. The document provides principles of communication and agreements as well as quotes on understanding others and resolving conflicts.
2017 aacr youth day
- 1. Annual Youth Conference November 8, 2017 Breakout Session One
- 2. Soft Skills
- 3. For a Hard World
- 4. A Year For Civility
- 5. Check In Wednesday Name School Favorite Animal One Word Why Your Favorite
- 8. The Three Layers of the Brain 2001 Limbic System Emotions Long-term memory Attention/Focus Movement Cortical Brain Learning Analysis Creativity Reptile/Primitive Brain Protection Maintenance of body Survival of species Copyright Covisioning 2001
- 10. Why do we forget our manners?
- 11. Disconnect Popular Culture vs. Work Culture
- 12. Empathy
- 13. Seek first to understand and then to be understood. St. Francis of Assisi
- 14. There is a difference between understanding another’s position and condoning it.
- 15. COMMUNICATE • Face To Face • Telephone • Text • Letters • Email • Social Network
- 16. Types of Communication • Visual • Aural • Kinesthetic
- 18. Key Words • Dialogue • Discussion • Conversation
- 20. Move Follow Oppose Bystand Line of Advocacy and Action David Kantor
- 23. PRINCIPLES OF COMMUNICATION 1. What We Say May Not Be What Is Heard. a. Texting b. Jargon c. Questions
- 24. Peter Senge on Questions • 40% are statements in disguise • 40% are judgments in disguise • 20% are true questions
- 25. PRINCIPLES OF COMMUNICATION 2. Messages Contain Thoughts And Emotions. a. Be careful of WHY b. Be positive
- 26. Why vs. Help Me Understand
- 27. PRINCIPLES OF COMMUNICATION 3. How We Physically Respond Is A Better Indicator Than What We Say. a. Tone of Voice b. Body Language
- 28. How Many Sentences? I never said that.
- 29. How Many Sentences? What do you think about it?
- 30. PRINCIPLES OF COMMUNICATION 4. There is an appropriate time and an appropriate place. a. Attention and focus b. The perception of others
- 31. The Chinese Characters for Listening: 1. Ear Gather 2. Eye Perceive 3. Heart Sense 4. King Respect LISTENING Copyright Covisioning 2001
- 33. LISTENING LEVELS 1. Downloading 2. Factual 3. Empathic 4. Generative Otto Scharmer & Katrin Kaufer, Leading from the Emerging Future (2013)
- 34. LISTENING BEHAVIORS • Listen for the Facts • Understand the Speaker (Empathic Listening) • Active Listening • Paraphrase/Summarize to understand
- 36. Instructions • Teams of Three Participants • Participant One tells Participant Two: – What career do I want in the future? – What is the greatest opportunity for Arizona? – What does Arizona need to do better? • Participant Two actively listens • Participant Three evaluates Participant Two • Group Report
- 37. SOME BARRIERS TO COMMUNICATION • Negotiation Style • Perceptions of Fairness • Personal Needs • Outside Distractions
- 38. LADDER OF INFERENCE* DATA MEANING BELIEFS ACTIONS ASSUMPTIONS EXPERIENCE *Adapted from The Fifth Discipline Field Book Peter Senge CONCLUSIONS
- 39. Retaliatory Cycle Trigger Perception of threat Anger Acting out Repetition (thoughts) (feelings) (behavior) Power-plays Walk-aways Used with permission of DMI/MTI Dana Mediation Institute 2002
- 40. Managing Others’ Anger • Discover underlying reason • Share feelings and clarify expectations • Ask questions • Avoid offensive responses • Ask for a time out • Ask for help • Apologize and start over Cloke & Goldsmith, RESOLVING CONFLICTS AT WORK
- 41. Get Curious Not Furious Thanks to Fr. Eric Tellez
- 43. People do not need to agree on beliefs or values but only as to arrangements for the future.
- 44. CONFLICT • Conflict is a part of life. • Conflict does not mean failure. • Conflict leads to change and growth
- 45. Some Beliefs About Sources of Conflict • Scarce resources • Failure to communicate/empathize • Struggle for power and control • Result of evil • Result of being overwhelmed and confused Robert Benjamin
- 46. The Iceberg of Conflict Issues _____________ Personalities Emotions Interests Needs Desires Self-Perceptions Self-Esteem Hidden Expectations Unresolved Issues from Past Cloke & Goldsmith
- 47. Options for Resolving Conflict • Avoidance • Collaboration – Negotiate – Mediate • Higher Authority – Chain of command – Litigate • Unilateral Power Play Slaiku, WHEN PUSH COMES TO SHOVE
- 48. Problem Resolution Set • Absolution: Ignore a problem and hope it goes away. • Solution: Do something to produce a positive outcome. • Resolution: Do something to produce the best possible outcome. • Dissolution: Eliminate the cause of the problem. From WHEN FAMILIES MARRY by Finian Meis and Tara Markey-Meis
- 49. Seven Steps to Solution
- 50. SEVEN STEPS TO SOLUTION 1. Find the time and place to talk 2. Decide upon ground rules 3. Listen to each other 4. Ascertain issue and core value involved 5. Identify common goals 6. Explore options 7. Make a plan for the future
- 51. SEVEN STEPS TO SOLUTION 1. Find the time and place to talk • Invitation to meet • Securing a location • Eliminate distractions • Environmental factors • Ensure timing is right
- 52. SEVEN STEPS TO SOLUTION 2. Decide upon ground rules • Be respectful of one another • No personal attacks • Do not interrupt • Try to understand the other’s point of view • Confidentiality • No reloading
- 53. SEVEN STEPS TO SOLUTION 3. Listen to each other
- 54. Helpful Phrases • “Help Me Understand” • “It sounds like…” • “It seems like….” • “We cannot change the past” • “One option for resolution is…” • “What do you suggest?” • “I really need to understand more…” • “What’s it going to take?” • “It is common to react this way when…”
- 55. SEVEN STEPS TO SOLUTION 4. Ascertain issue and core value involved
- 56. Focus on Interests • Interests = Needs + Core Values • Wants vs. Needs • The story of the orange • Reframing – Change the game by changing the frame – Change perception to see new possibilities
- 57. SEVEN STEPS TO SOLUTION 5. Identify common goals
- 58. SEVEN STEPS TO SOLUTION 6. Explore options
- 60. 17 Camels • Elderly tribal chief passes away & leaves his camel herd to his 3 sons • Stipulates the following in his will: – Eldest son to receive 1/2 of herd – Second eldest to receive 1/3 of herd – Youngest to receive 1/9 of herd
- 61. 17 Camels 3 Sons Visit the Village Elder • Sons unable to agree on division of camels • Each brother presents his issue • Each wants fair share of herd • Elder tells them she will lend them one camel to resolve the dispute • Only asks that camel be returned when no longer needed
- 62. 17 Camels Resolution • 1/2 of 18 = 9 • 1/3 of 18 = 6 • 1/9 of 18 = 2 17 • 18th camel no longer needed • YOUR ROLE -- help find the 18th camel!
- 63. SEVEN STEPS TO SOLUTION 7. Make a plan for the future
- 64. PRINCIPLES OF AGREEMENTS • The Past Can’t be Changed - Focus on Future • Any Settlement is a Gamble - for All Parties.
- 65. Denise Blommel Denise M. Blommel, PLLC Attorney/Mediator 7702 E. Doubletree Ranch Road, Suite 300 Scottsdale, AZ 85258 480-905-5810 [email protected] www.azlaborlaw.com
- 66. Questions?