Command Confidence,
Trip Triggers, and Flip Fears
Donna Schumell
March, 2016
“Have full trust
or belief in the
ability to
complete a task
or cause an
outcome”
Confidence
The Mirror Factor
 “We are much quicker to criticize our
appearance than men are to criticize
theirs.
 One international study shows 90% of
all women want to change at least one
aspect of their physical appearance.
 81% of 10 year old girls are afraid of
being fat.
 “Over half of young women reported
that they would prefer to be hit by a
truck than be fat. Two thirds would
prefer to be mean or stupid.”
 2% of us actually think we are
beautiful.”
Confidence CAN Improve
Many people think of confidence
as a feeling but in reality it is a
set of beliefs and behaviors that
you can change and improve
over time
What Do I THINK?
50,000 - 70,000
80%
80%
What Do I THINK?
50,000 - 70,000
80%
80%
ANT– “Automatic Negative
Thoughts”
Redefining Wealth
Beliefs and Behaviors
BEHAVIORS
BELIEFS
Redefining Wealth
All or Nothing
Redefining Wealth
Overgeneralization
Redefining Wealth
Mental Filters
Redefining Wealth
Discounting the Positives
Redefining Wealth
Jumping To Conclusions
https://www.flickr.com/photos/37873897@N06/7978635263/in/photolist
Redefining Wealth
Magnification or Minimization
Redefining Wealth
Should Statements
Redefining Wealth
Emotional Reasoning
“I don’t feel like doing this, so I will
procrastinate.”
“I feel like an idiot. I am an idiot.”
“I feel stupid. I must be stupid.”
Redefining Wealth
Labeling
I’M NOT GOOD
ENOUGH
Redefining Wealth
PERSONALIZATION AND
BLAME
IT’S MUST
BE
BECAUSE
OF
SOMETHING
I’VE DONE
THIS IS
ALL
KATE’S
FAULT
Redefining Wealth
Ant Smashing Strategies
 “Name It”
 “Sherlock”
 “Double Standard”
 “Experiment”
 “Shades of Gray”
 “Survey Monkey”
 “Softer Semantic”
 “Cause and Effect”
Your Experiential Triangle
Source: Joe LeDoux, NYU; think2perform
Thoughts
(manage/choose)
Actions
(reactor/creator)
Feelings
(occur)
Outside
stimulus
Get Tactical!
Exercise 1: Push the Pause Button
The Power of the Pause
 Push the Pause Button!
 Super-Selfie! (Capture)
 What thoughts are you having? What are you thinking about? What are
you thinking about yourself?
 What are you feeling emotionally? What are you physically
experiencing? What’s happening in your body?
 What are you doing? What action are you taking? What are you saying
or not saying?
 Are your feelings, thoughts and actions aligned? What might be
better choice for you right now?
Get Tactical
Exercise 2: The 4 R’s
Recognize
Recognize your own thoughts, emotions, physiology/action and
recognize the experience of others
Source: think2perform
The 4 R’s
Recognize
Recognize your own thoughts, emotions, physiology/action and
recognize the experience of others
Reflect
Reflect on the big picture, the long-term, the biases that might be
in play…reflect on your VALUES, what’s important
Source: think2perform
The 4 R’s
Recognize
Recognize your own thoughts, emotions, physiology/action and
recognize the experience of others
Reflect
Reflect on the big picture, the long-term, the biases that might be
in play, the moral principles and what you care about most (your
values)
Reframe
Reframe your self-talk to account for possible ANT’s or biases and
to avoid reflexive responses to highly-charged emotions
Source: think2perform
The 4 Step Formula
Recognize
Recognize your own thoughts, emotions, physiology/action and
recognize the experience of others
Reflect
Reflect on the big picture, the long-term, the biases that might be
in play, the moral principles and what you care about most (your
values)
Reframe
Reframe your self-talk to account for possible biases and to avoid
reflexive responses to highly-charged emotions
Respond Respond with a decision consistent with values and beliefs
Source: think2perform
Redefining Wealth
What Will You Do?
Resources
1. Rhode, Deborah L. Beauty Bias: The Injustice of Appearance in
Life and Law. N.p.: Oxford UP, 2010.
2. http://www.apsu.edu/sites/apsu.edu/files/counseling/COGNITI
VE_0.pdf

Command confidence

  • 1.
    Command Confidence, Trip Triggers,and Flip Fears Donna Schumell March, 2016
  • 2.
    “Have full trust orbelief in the ability to complete a task or cause an outcome” Confidence
  • 3.
    The Mirror Factor “We are much quicker to criticize our appearance than men are to criticize theirs.  One international study shows 90% of all women want to change at least one aspect of their physical appearance.  81% of 10 year old girls are afraid of being fat.  “Over half of young women reported that they would prefer to be hit by a truck than be fat. Two thirds would prefer to be mean or stupid.”  2% of us actually think we are beautiful.”
  • 4.
    Confidence CAN Improve Manypeople think of confidence as a feeling but in reality it is a set of beliefs and behaviors that you can change and improve over time
  • 5.
    What Do ITHINK? 50,000 - 70,000 80% 80%
  • 6.
    What Do ITHINK? 50,000 - 70,000 80% 80%
  • 7.
  • 8.
    Redefining Wealth Beliefs andBehaviors BEHAVIORS BELIEFS
  • 9.
  • 10.
  • 11.
  • 12.
  • 13.
    Redefining Wealth Jumping ToConclusions https://www.flickr.com/photos/37873897@N06/7978635263/in/photolist
  • 14.
  • 15.
  • 16.
    Redefining Wealth Emotional Reasoning “Idon’t feel like doing this, so I will procrastinate.” “I feel like an idiot. I am an idiot.” “I feel stupid. I must be stupid.”
  • 17.
  • 18.
    Redefining Wealth PERSONALIZATION AND BLAME IT’SMUST BE BECAUSE OF SOMETHING I’VE DONE THIS IS ALL KATE’S FAULT
  • 19.
    Redefining Wealth Ant SmashingStrategies  “Name It”  “Sherlock”  “Double Standard”  “Experiment”  “Shades of Gray”  “Survey Monkey”  “Softer Semantic”  “Cause and Effect”
  • 20.
    Your Experiential Triangle Source:Joe LeDoux, NYU; think2perform Thoughts (manage/choose) Actions (reactor/creator) Feelings (occur) Outside stimulus
  • 21.
    Get Tactical! Exercise 1:Push the Pause Button
  • 22.
    The Power ofthe Pause  Push the Pause Button!  Super-Selfie! (Capture)  What thoughts are you having? What are you thinking about? What are you thinking about yourself?  What are you feeling emotionally? What are you physically experiencing? What’s happening in your body?  What are you doing? What action are you taking? What are you saying or not saying?  Are your feelings, thoughts and actions aligned? What might be better choice for you right now?
  • 23.
    Get Tactical Exercise 2:The 4 R’s Recognize Recognize your own thoughts, emotions, physiology/action and recognize the experience of others Source: think2perform
  • 24.
    The 4 R’s Recognize Recognizeyour own thoughts, emotions, physiology/action and recognize the experience of others Reflect Reflect on the big picture, the long-term, the biases that might be in play…reflect on your VALUES, what’s important Source: think2perform
  • 25.
    The 4 R’s Recognize Recognizeyour own thoughts, emotions, physiology/action and recognize the experience of others Reflect Reflect on the big picture, the long-term, the biases that might be in play, the moral principles and what you care about most (your values) Reframe Reframe your self-talk to account for possible ANT’s or biases and to avoid reflexive responses to highly-charged emotions Source: think2perform
  • 26.
    The 4 StepFormula Recognize Recognize your own thoughts, emotions, physiology/action and recognize the experience of others Reflect Reflect on the big picture, the long-term, the biases that might be in play, the moral principles and what you care about most (your values) Reframe Reframe your self-talk to account for possible biases and to avoid reflexive responses to highly-charged emotions Respond Respond with a decision consistent with values and beliefs Source: think2perform
  • 27.
  • 28.
    Resources 1. Rhode, DeborahL. Beauty Bias: The Injustice of Appearance in Life and Law. N.p.: Oxford UP, 2010. 2. http://www.apsu.edu/sites/apsu.edu/files/counseling/COGNITI VE_0.pdf

Editor's Notes

  • #4 And the problem begins very young, with 51% of 9 and 10 year-old girls admitting that feel better about themselves if they are on a diet. Lest this appear to be a problem of the young, among more senior women in midlife, the ones who could be stepping into top leadership positions, an even bleaker picture emerges. A mere 12% of women over 50 were satisfied with their bodies. In order to “feel better about themselves,” 78% of them said they spent almost an hour a day trying to improve their appearance. That adds up to two full weeks a year of primping.
  • #24 23
  • #25 24
  • #26 25
  • #27 26