conflict_resolution_708.ppt

conflict_resolution_708.ppt

• 1.
  Conflict Resolution: When CrucialConversations Matter By Stephanie Demiris, MA Member Relations & Services Specialist, AACN
• 2.
  Objectives: • Gain amutual understanding of the definition of conflict resolution. • Gain a mutual understanding of what crucial conversations are and when we need to have them? • Identify our individual styles under stress. • Gain a mutual understanding of the key components of conflict resolution. • Explore the art of contrasting. • Role playing group activity • Bring it all together.
• 3.
  Conflict Resolution Defined: Whatis conflict resolution? Conflict resolution is a process of working through opposing views in order to reach a common goal or mutual purpose. Historical context of conflict resolution: • Evolved in 1950s and 1960s at the height of the Cold War when the development of nuclear weapons and conflict between superpowers was threatening human survival. • Small group of scholars from different disciplines came together to study conflict as a general phenomenon (e.g., international relations, domestic politics, industrial relations, communities, families and between individuals). • Conflict resolution as we know it in the business world came about in the late 1980s and early 1990s.
• 4.
  Crucial Conversations: A discussionbetween two or more people where: • The stakes are high • Opinions vary • Emotions run strong We typically handle these conversations by: • Avoiding them • Facing them and handling them poorly • Facing them and handling them well
• 5.
  Two Responses toCrucial Conversations: Fight  or  Flight or Silence  to  Violence
• 6.
  If we goto silence: • We avoid – we steer clear of sensitive subjects; quickly change the subject • Don’t say anything – we withdraw or leave • Blame the group, hoping the message will hit the right target • Looks of disgust • Sarcasm – we mask our true feelings; we sugarcoat We go to silence when we feel unsafe
• 7.
  If we goto violence: • We verbally attack – we are threatening or belittling • Act like we know everything • We discredit others • Use the power of the boss to force our way • Control – we force our views by cutting others off, speaking in absolutes, changing subjects and in turn not giving others a chance to share their view • Subtly manipulate • We label or stereotype We go to violence when we feel unsafe
• 8.
  Why should wehave crucial conversations? • It will improve our health • It will improve our relationships • It will enhance our job performance and success • It will make a difference
• 9.
  How do wehave crucial conversations? DIALOGUE
• 10.
  What’s your styleunder stress? • Let’s find out by spending some time answering the questions. • When you complete the questions, refer to the scoring sheet to find out what your score means. -We are always in control to change our behavior-
• 11.
  Key Components ofConflict Resolution: There are 4 key components to conflict resolution: • Controlling emotional responses • Seeking understanding • Identifying needs and common interests • Seeking mutual benefit or purpose
• 12.
  Control Emotional Responses: •Start with yourself first – the only person you can control • Reflect – what story are you telling yourself about the situation? Is it either/or thinking (look for the “and”)? • recognize how you are positioned (your personal bias’; your beliefs, attitudes, values, etc.). • Clarify what you don’t want • Ask yourself what your motives are. Do others trust your motives? • Ask yourself what you really want out of this. Do others believe I care about their goals in the conversation? -Step Out. Make It Safe. Step Back In.-
• 13.
  Seek Understanding: • Masteryour story • Notice your behavior – are you moving to silence or violence? • Get in touch with your feelings • Refocus on facts – hold your view as a hypothesis (we are aware of our own intentions, but we are rarely aware of other person’s intentions) • Ask for their story • Make it safe – help make others feel safe to share their story • Carefully listen – acknowledge feelings • Be willing to change your story as they add to the pool of shared meaning • Keep in mind . . . . • Storytelling is automatic and happens quickly • A set of facts can be used to tell a number of stories • Once a story is told, it controls us
• 14.
  Understand Impact andIntentions: Event Our past stories, experiences and life history Our values and identities We react to the feelings from these thoughts We judge and interpret other’s intent We interpret the impact on us We Interpret what we see/hear
• 15.
  Identify Needs andCommon Interests: • Listen and hear clearly what others need • Look for mutuality • Use contrasting statements to state clearly what your needs are
• 16.
  Why Contrasting Statements? •Contrasting statements are Do/Don’t statements that: • Address others’ concerns that you don’t respect them or that you had a malicious purpose (e.g., I don’t want . . . .) • Confirms your respect or clarifies your real purpose (e.g., I do want . . . .) • Contrasting is important because: • It deals with the misunderstanding that has put safety at risk • It provides context and proportion • Can be used as prevention or first aid • Group Contrasting Role Playing Exercise • Break up into 3 groups and spend some time going over the contrasting activity
• 17.
  Seeking Mutual Benefitor Purpose: • Commit to seek mutual purpose by truly caring about the interests of others • Work towards mutual respect – do others believe I respect them? • Brainstorm new strategies together – invite opposing viewpoints and play devil’s advocate • Agree where you can • If others leave something out, then agree where you can and build from there • If you differ significantly, don’t suggest others are wrong, rather, compare your views.
• 18.
  Points to Consider: Askyourself the following questions: • How did we each contribute to the current situation? • How can we change it? What can we do about it as we move forward? Don’t let the conflict control you. The conflict is not who we are.
• 19.
  Conclusion: Six things tokeep in mind when in a crucial conversation • Start with yourself – reflect • Share your facts • Tell your story • Ask for their story (and be open to hearing it!) • Encourage dialogue by enacting mutual purpose • Talk, Talk, Talk
• 20.
  References Cited: American Associationof Critical-Care Nurses. 2002. It’s All About You: A Blueprint for Influencing Practice. Aliso Viejo, Calif: American Association of Critical-Care Nurses Publication. Patterson, K., et.al. 2002. Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High. New York: McGraw-Hill. http://www.crucialconversations.com