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The Emotional Activation System

presented by

David Tian, Ph.D.

OVERVIEW
 What's the Big Problem?
− She doesn't feel about you the way
you feel about her
 Answer: The Emotional Activation System
 Why & How the Emotional Activation
System Works
− The Neuroscience of mirror
neurons
 Result: Make Her Feel How You Feel

BACKGROUND
 I was once like you...
 Robert Greene's Art of Seduction and the
character of the Rake
− “When he desires a woman, brief
though that moment may be, he will
go to the ends of the earth for her.”
− His greatest weakness is his
overwhelming love of women.
Paradoxically, that is also his
greatest strength.

THE POWER OF THE RAKE
− “When he pursues a woman, he really is aglow
with desire; the 'victim' senses this and is
inﬂamed, even despite herself.”

− “The Ardent Rake teaches us a simple lesson:
intense desire has a distracting power on a
woman, just as the Siren's physical presence
does on a man.”

− Advanced Rake: “The key is to show no
hesitation, to abandon all restraint, to let
yourself go, to show that you cannot control
yourself and are fundamentally weak... This is
the perfect cover for a seducer.”

REAL RAKES IN
HISTORY
 Examples of great seducers employing the
Emotional Activation System
− Don Juan. Valmont in Dangerous
Liaisons. Prince Niou in The Tale of
Genji. Jia Baoyu in Dream of the Red
Chamber. Lord Byron. The Duke de
Richelieu. Pablo Picasso. Elvis. Bill
Clinton. Robbie Williams. Russell
Brand (“The best natural I've ever
seen”--Neil Strauss).

DISCOVERING
THE SECRET
 Field testing the Method of the Rake
 Discovery of Why & How the Emotional
Activation System Works
 Mirror Neurons
− Daniel Goleman's Emotional
Inte"igence and Social Inte"igence
 Field testing it with clients

DOWN & DIRTY ON
HOW IT WORKS
 The Emotional Activation System builds on:
− Emotional intelligence (knowing what you're honestly
feeling and being able to articulate it, and then being able
to infer what others are feeling)
− Knowing what the Ideal Man ought to feel
− Being HONEST with yourself about your imperfect
feelings or any shortcomings
− Being content with who you are

WHAT ELSE CAN THE EMOTIONAL
ACTIVATION SYSTEM DO?

 Great for turning her into your new
girlfriend

 Great for getting sexual very fast
 Great for developing assertiveness

RECAP I

 Discovery of the Power of the Rake
 Real Rakes in History
 Quick overview of how and why the
Emotional Activation System works
 What the Emotional Activation System can
do

THE SCIENCE OF
SUB-COMMUNICATIONS
 Attraction is intuitive and driven by feelings
− Attraction is not governed by rationality or logic
− Myth of verbal “game” (UCLA study)
 Over 90% of attraction comes from rapid, unconscious
cognitions, e.g., split-second judgments
 We only have conscious access to less than 10% of our
mental processes

BLINK AND THIN-SLICING

 Malcolm Gladwell's Blink
− Tennis coach Vic Braden can predict double faults to
within 95% accuracy but doesn't know why
− Andre Agassi saying he uses his wrist to roll the racket
over the ball on a forehand
− Ted Williams saying he looks the ball onto the bat
 Academic research shows we really don't know why we make
most of our judgments

IF NO CONSCIOUS CONTROL, THEN
WHAT CAN WE DO?

 Micro-managing sub-communications is
nearly impossible, especially in the short-
term
 What drives the sub-communications?
− Mental and emotional states

THE SCIENCE OF MICRO
EXPRESSIONS
 Micro expressions (Ekman & Friesen)

− Whatever emotion we are experiencing, it is
automatically expressed by the muscles in the
face and body

 Emotional feedback loop

− Inside out (Control your emotions)

 Emotional Activation (much more
eﬀective)

− Outside in (Control your physical body)

 Body language, tonality, words, etc.

THE SCIENCE OF
MIRROR NEURONS
 Daniel Goleman's Social Inte"igence

− Amygdala (most primitive part of brain)
unconsciously extracts emotional meaning from
nonverbal images

 Nervous mannerisms and twitches, the
resigned slouch of defeat, the sensuality of
a sexy smile, etc.

 Bypasses brain's verbal processing areas

 Primes reciprocal feelings

GAZE FOR A MOMENT
AT THIS FACE:

SCIENCE OF EMOTIONAL
CONTAGION
 The amygdala instantly reacts to such a photo; the
stronger the emotion displayed, the more intense
the amygdala's reaction

− “When people looked at such photos while
undergoing an fMRI, their own brains looked
like they were the frightened ones.”

 “Mirror neurons ensure that the moment someone
sees an emotion expressed on your face, they will at
once sense that same feeling within themselves.”

APPLYING THE SCIENCE

 By generating the desired state in yourself, you
induce the desired state in others

 Bi%est Problem of the Lovelorn: He feels the wrong
mix of emotions and thus transfers the wrong
emotions to her

 Solution: The Emotional Activation System

 The Good News: Micromanaging your sub-
communications is impossible, but you CAN
manage your emotional states and transfer them to
others using the Emotional Activation System

RECAP II

 Sub-communications
 Thin-slicing
 Micro expressions
 Mirror neurons
 Emotional contagion
 Applying the science

LEARNING THE
EMOTIONAL ACTIVATION SYSTEM
 Required Components

− 1. Vocabulary of emotion terms

− 2. Identify and Distinguish your emotions

− 3. Express your emotions

− 4. Correct inappropriate emotions by:

 a) Questioning interpretations

 b) Reframing interpretations

 c) Conditioning the unconscious mind

− 5. Amplify the feeling of your emotions

1. WHAT ARE
EMOTIONS?
 Emotion = Feeling tone + Interpretation

− e.g., Emotion of fear on seeing a snake requires
the judgment that the snake is dangerous and has
potential to harm

 Control your emotions through manipulating your
interpretations

− The importance of “frame” (the lens by which you
see and interpret events)

 e.g., Screening frame. “She wants me”
frame. “I'm the prize” frame.

2. IDENTIFY AND DISTINGUISH
YOUR EMOTIONS

 Ekman on at least seven universal human
emotions: fear, sadness, anger, joy, surprise,
contempt, and disgust.
 Confronting your emotions requires
HONESTY (a great aphrodisiac)
 Practice asking yourself WHY you feel the
emotion
− Look for the interpretations leading
to the feelings

NAME YOUR EMOTIONS

 Increase your vocabulary of emotions
terms, esp., non-native English speakers.
− Affection. Anger. Angst. Annoyance. Anxiety. Apathy.
Arousal. Awe. Boredom. Contempt. Contentment.
Curiosity. Depression. Desire. Despair. Disappointment.
Disgust. Dread. Ecstasy. Embarrassment. Envy. Euphoria.
Excitement. Fear. Fearlessness. Frustration. Gratitude.
Grief. Guilt. Happiness. Hatred. Hope. Horror. Hostility.
Hurt. Hysteria. Indifference. Interest. Jealousy. Joy.
Loathing. Loneliness. Love. Lust. Misery. Panic. Passion.
Pity. Pleasure. Pride. Rage. Regret. Remorse. Sadness.
Satisfaction. Shame. Shock. Shyness. Sorrow. Suffering.
Terror. Wonder. Worry.

EMOTIONS AND
THOUGHTS

 Increasing the terms and categories you use for expressing
emotions => increases your knowledge of and facility over
them

 Always ask yourself WHY you have that feeling to unearth
the unconscious interpretations leading to it

− Once you understand your judgments and
interpretations, then you can change your
emotional responses

HOW DO MOST PEOPLE
HANDLE EMOTIONS?
 Avoidance

− Mainly unconscious

 Denial

− Especially prevalent among those from
traditional, conservative moral or religious
backgrounds

 Wallowing

 Instead, learn the Emotional Activation System to take
charge of your emotions

3. IDENTIFY AND
EXPRESS

 Be completely honest with yourself
 What emotion(s) are you really feeling?
 What beliefs, judgments, or interpretations
led to the feeling?

4A. QUESTION YOUR
INTERPRETATIONS
 What are the judgments? Are they valid?

− Emotion = Insecurity

− Interpretation = I'm too skinny for her to be attracted to me

− Questioning the judgment = Is it possible for her to be attracted to
a skinny guy?

 If “Yes,” then believe your research findings

 If “No,” then is the problem fixable?

− If “Yes,” then start fixing it

− If “No,” then proceed to next step

4B. REFRAME YOUR
INTERPRETATIONS
 If you can't change the situation, then you must reframe it

 Emotion = Insecurity

 Judgment = I'm too short for her to be
attracted to me

 Questioning the judgment = Is it possible
for her to be attracted to guys shorter than
her?

− “Yes, but the research ﬁndings show
that it is improbable.”

− Then Reframe

REFRAMING
INTERPRETATIONS II
 The shorter the man, the stronger he must
be on other variables in order to hold a
taller woman
 I will have to compensate by being stronger
in other areas
 Women are much more attracted to
personality than to physical appearance
(questioning)

4C. CONDITIONING THE
UNCONSCIOUS MIND
 Help feeling catch up to rational thought

 Cut out sensory stimuli reinforcing the false belief (pop
media, negative people, etc.)

 Fill up your senses with stimuli reinforcing the desired
belief

− E.g., Insecurity over height

 Cut out pop media, negative people, etc.

 Replace with correct movies, books,
posters, internet images & video, people

RECAP III

 Emotion's two components
 Naming emotions
 Identifying and express emotions
 Questioning the interpretations
 Reframing the interpretations
 Conditioning the unconscious mind

PROGRESS &
CONTENTMENT

 Progress toward the Ideal over time
 The Paradoxical Secret Power: Keep
improving yourself, but be content with
yourself and your progress
 Need knowledge of how you SHOULD be
feeling to calibrate how you are
CURRENTLY feeling

THE IDEAL MAN

 Based on Evolutionary Science & Psychology

− Summarized in David Buss, The Evolution of
Desire

 Wealth, Status, Ambition &
Industriousness, Physical Prowess (size,
strength, and health), and Intelligence (as
reliable predictor of economic prowess)

 Women unconsciously choose men with
these traits

 But most of all: GOOD FEELINGS

ULTIMATE VALUE:
GOOD FEELINGS
 Attraction, Love, Desire, Arousal, Aﬀection are all
FEELINGS

− 99% of people do not know how to control their
feelings

 Be the Man who gives her Good Feelings

− Undercut the Bigger Better Deal (who competes
on conventional factors of wealth, status, and
looks)

− Shortcut to Good Feelings through the
Emotional Activation System

CHARACTER OF
THE IDEAL MAN
 The Ideal Man gives her good feelings naturally because of
his character

 Five Traits

 Conﬁdence

− Shows her you can get the job done

 Dependability and Stability

 You can handle bad situations in life

 You can provide for her and her family

 She infers competence and experience

I. EASYGOING
CONFIDENCE
 Easygoing
− They are not uptight or anxious

− They don’t take themselves too seriously.
They readily laugh at themselves and are the
ﬁrst to chuckle at their own foibles.

− While they are able to discern when and how
to be serious about grave topics and to
appreciate the consequences of their actions
and decisions, they still see the humor in
everyday situations, especially when these
situations involve themselves.

II. ASSERTIVE
CONFIDENCE
 Assertiveness

− They are not push-overs

− They speak up for themselves and those under
their leadership. In social settings, they are
friendly and cordial but also dominant and
commanding.

− They do not hide behind a false modesty. Rather,
they believe that others, including their seniors,
want to hear their ideas.

− They do not tolerate disrespect from others.

− They are persistent in pursuit of their goals.

− They freely approach women they want to meet.

III. LEADERSHIP

 Leadership

− They are not passive followers.

− They have trained themselves to weigh the
relevant factors, make snap decisions, and deal
with the consequences.

− While they may have formal recognition through
rank, status, or position, they do not rely on
external recognition to inspire and lead others.

− They take into account the opinions and desires
of others, but ultimately, they draw their own
conclusions and waste no time in doing so.

IV. SEXUAL

 Sexual

− They are not immature schoolboys.

− They are not judgmental or closed-minded.

− These men have no sexual hang-ups and are
comfortable with their views on sex and sexuality.

− They are secure in their own self-image and with
their bodies.

− They are at ease in talking with women about
sexual subjects.

V. ADVENTUROUS

 Adventurous

− They are not boring or predictable.

− They are not afraid of danger.

− They welcome calculated risk.

− They are unpredictable and have a love of
spontaneous fun.

− They live life to the hilt and push experiences to
the edge.

− Their lives are full of PASSION.

FROM CURRENT TO
IDEAL

 Continually improve
 But the secret is: Be content with the
progress you're making in life
 If you aren't, then set goals, make plans,
and take action to become your Ideal Self

RECAP IV

 Progress and contentment
 The Ideal Man
 Good feelings as the ultimate value
 The character of the Ideal Man
− Easygoing. Assertive. Leadership.
Sexual. Adventurous.

HOW TO MAKE HER FEEL
HOW YOU FEEL

 Identifying current emotions
 Calibrate with what Ideal Man would feel
(if necessary)
 Intensify good feelings while maintaining
proximity and looking into her eyes

5. FEEL INTENSELY

 Feel intensely. A common characteristic of
charismatic individuals is that they feel
emotions strongly. Encourage and develop
those tendencies within yourself. Be
passionate.
 You will draw others to you in an almost
eﬀortless way because you will be
transferring your good feelings to them.
 Practice amplifying your feelings

HOW TO AMPLIFY
FEELINGS
 Recall a time when you felt that emotion,
or the next time you feel that emotion,
− Identify how it feels in your body
and the physical manifestations of it
− Trace backwards to the mental and
physical steps that led to it
 The next time you feel that feeling
intensely, anchor it to some sensory
perception, e.g., touch, sound, smell, etc.

PRACTICE AMPLIFYING
THE EMOTION
 Recreate the experience to recreate the
feeling
 Use visualizations
 Use anchors like music, smells, etc.
 Practice inducing desirable emotions on a
daily basis, especially happiness!
 Once you get used to creating the feeling,
you won't need to recreate the experience

LEARN TO IDENTIFY AND
MANAGE THESE EMOTIONS
 Discomfort

 Fear

 Hurt

 Anger

 Frustration

 Disappointment

 Inadequacy

 Loneliness

LEARN TO AMPLIFY THESE
POSITIVE EMOTIONS
 Love

 Arousal

 Curiosity

 Passion

 Excitement

 Conﬁdence

 Energetic

 Happiness, cheerfulness, joyfulness

THE FINISHED PRODUCT

 You use the Emotional Activation System
when you:
 truly feel the emotion you want her to feel,
 you look deeply and unblinkingly into her
eyes
 while you amplify the feeling.

3 STEPS TO MAKING HER DEEPLY
ATTRACTED TO YOU

 Step 1: Excitement. Fun. Silly. Positive
nervousness. A little bit sexual.
 Step 2: Appreciation. Wonder. A bit more
sexual.
 Step 3: Savoring the sexual tension.
Aroused. Trying to hold yourself back
(struggling to restrain yourself).
 Your whole relationship is a combination of
all three.

TROUBLESHOOTING

 Can't skip any of the steps.
 If you skip step 1, you're the creepy guy
 If you skip step 2, you're the player who can
never get a girlfriend
 If you skip step 3, you're the platonic friend

TROUBLESHOOTING II

 If you think you're in step 2, and she
accuses you of something like, “Why are
you so serious all the time?” Then, go back
to step 1.
 If you think you're in step 3, and she
accuses you of being a creep, then go back
to step 1... fast.

3 STAGES TO MASTERY

 Beginners Level: Name the improper
emotion (it's best to be honest) but
calibrate against the Ideal Self
 Intermediate Level: Moderate levels of
emotion in each stage, mainly vibing with
her.
 Advanced Level: Bigger range of emotional
variety and depth. She tests more but you
see these as fun and cute.

CONCLUSION

 The 3 steps of the relationship
 The 3 stages to mastery of the Emotional
Activation System
 Use it or lose it
− Practice all the time, every day
 Feel intensely
 Live life to the fullest

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Editor's Notes