Starting a Family: The Adoption Process for Gay and Lesbian Couples
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This document provides an overview of the adoption process for gay and lesbian couples. It discusses preparing emotionally and financially, understanding the costs and time commitment involved, navigating state laws on adoption, and completing the required home study process. The home study involves interviews, background checks, home visits, and an evaluation of the prospective parents' ability to provide a stable and nurturing home environment for an adopted child. Resources for LGBTQ adoptions and financial assistance are also presented. The overall message is that adopting as a gay or lesbian couple requires diligence and perseverance but can result in forming a loving family.
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Starting a Family: The Adoption Process for Gay and Lesbian Couples
- 1. Slide 1 Starting a Family: The Adoption Process for Gay and Lesbian Couples Allyson Lindsey Capella University December 3, 2014 Slide 2 Are You Ready? • Adopting a child is an arduous, seemingly never-ending process that at times, will appear much like a roller coaster – and the seats are filled with your emotions. Remember that each day starts anew. • If you are an anxious and worrisome individual, or you find yourself plagued with self- doubt, be mindful that all adoptive couples are having similar thoughts and feelings, e.g. fear, self-doubt, anxiety, stress, financial strains, and so on. • You are not alone. Reach out to your local LGBT community for emotional and mental support, and financial guidance. Slide 3 Estimated Number of Adopted Children Under Age 18 Living with Lesbian or Gay parents, by State Very Lt. Gray=250 or less Lt. Gray=251-500 Med. Gray=501-1000 Dark Gray=1001-5000 Black=5001 or more White=No data • In 2004, approximately 872,000 of children in the foster care system were victims of child abuse (Gates, Badgett, Macomber, & Chambers, 2007, pp. 1-3).
- 2. Slide 4 Thoughts to Consider • While you may have your emotions in check, what about your partner/spouse? How are they doing? How do they feel about adopting a child? If not married, are you both ready to parent together…forever? After all, adopting a child is a life-long commitment. When the going gets tough you cannot ‘get going.’ • Are you both healthy, physically as well as mentally? Have you explored the idea of counseling? The adoption process can be stressful on couples in many different ways and the idea of a neutral, open-minded counselor could prove instrumental as you both navigate through unchartered waters. • How are your finances? Is everything in order? What about life insurance and medical coverage? It is important to cover your bases, especially if you expect to become parents in the near future. Slide 5 Possible Financial Costs • Public Agency (Foster Care) Adoptions $0 - $2,500 • Licensed Private Agency Adoptions $5,000 - $40,000+ • Independent Adoptions $8,000 - $40,000+ • Facilitated/Unlicensed Adoptions $5,000 - $40,000+ • Intercountry Adoptions $15,000 - $30,000 • (Child Welfare Information Gateway, 2011, February, p. 3). • These costs are reflective of legal fees, court fees, agency fees and any ‘extra’ fees that you may incur during the adoption process. As a reminder, if there are significant issues that arise during the interview, e.g. the home is not approved by the investigator/interviewer, you may spend more than what is listed. These figures are not to be taken at face value as they are simply an estimate of the total costs.
- 3. Slide 6 Help Is Available! • External resources may be available to off-set the cost of adoption. Did you know that there are grants/loans/tax-credits available? • Here is a list of organizations that offer help: • A Child Waits Foundation • Adoption Friendly Workplace • Adoption Tax Credit • Adoption Taxpayer Identification Number • Affording Adoption Foundation • The Cost of Adoption • Federal Adoption Tax Credit • Financial Resources • Gift of Adoption Fund • God’s Grace Adoption Ministry • Hebrew Free Loan • Help Us Adopt • National Adoption Foundation • (Grants/loans/tax credit for adoptions, 2014). • Direct links are available on the website referenced at the end of the slide show. Slide 7 Fostering Paves the Way • Before we discuss types of adoption it is important to know your state’s laws regarding gay and lesbian adoptions. Remember, the more informed you are, the smoother the adoption process will be. Do your research. • It is understood that you seek to adopt; however, while you wait (and you will wait), you may also elect to begin the adoption process by becoming a foster parent. This may help you prepare yourselves emotionally, mentally, physically and financially. This could also pave the way for a smoother adoption process as you will have ‘experience’ at raising a child. States that allow gay and lesbian fostering: All states, with the exception of Nebraska and Utah. Nebraska has a law that forbids “gay people from fostering” and Utah does not allow unmarried couples to foster (Utah has a ban on same-sex marriage). • (Gates, Badgett, Macomber, & Chambers, 2007). Slide 8 Estimated Number of Children in the Foster Care System, in the United States Nearly 500,000 children are waiting in the foster care system. The average wait time for a child to be adopted out of the foster care system is 3 years. • (Gates, Badgett, Macomber, & Chambers, 2007, pp. 1-3).
- 4. Slide 9 Adoption • There are numerous rules and policies with regard to same-sex adoptions; thus the need for an excellent lawyer, preferably one who specializes in gay and lesbian adoptions. To reiterate, it would be a good idea to reach out to your local LGBT community as they will likely have several attorneys on file who can assist you in the adoption process. • Many states, to include those that allow same-sex marriages/adoptions, have unclear guidelines (often considered ‘booby traps’) that frequently trip couples looking to adopt within their state. • Know the law, do your research, and with the help of the LGBT community, find an adoption attorney and an agency who specialize in gay and lesbian adoption. The American Academy of Adoption Attorneys provides a list of qualified LGBT lawyers: http://www.adoptionattorneys.org/aaaa/adopting-parents/lgbt-adoption Slide 10 Regarding Adoption • Some terms to know: • Joint same-sex adoption is when two committed partners (or spouses) petition to adopt a child together. • Second parent adoption is when an individual adopts the child of their partner or spouse. This is similar to step-parent adoptions; the step-parent often adopts the spouse’s child. • According to lifelongadoptions.com a judge often determines the legality of same-sex couple adoptions, even if “gay adoption” is legal in that particular state. • Both Mississippi and Utah have a ban against same-sex couple adoptions. Utah prohibits all unmarried couple adoptions; however, both states may allow individual gay and lesbian adoptions to take place – if the presiding judge allows it. • (Types of adoption, 2014). Slide 11 Adoptions by State • States that allow gay and lesbian couples to jointly adopt: Arkansas, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Maine, Massachusetts, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, Oregon, Vermont, and Washington; the District of Columbia also allows joint adoption (Gates et al., 2014). • States that allow second parent adoption: Arkansas, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Illinois, Massachusetts, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, and Vermont; the District of Columbia also allows second parent adoption (Gates et al., 2014). • “Still, people have successfully done second parent adoptions in the following 16 states as well: Alabama, Alaska, Delaware, Hawaii, Iowa, Louisiana, Maryland, Minnesota, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Mexico, North Carolina, Oregon, Rhode Island, Texas, and Washington” (Gates et al., 2014). Keep the faith – it can happen for you too!
- 5. Slide 12 Open vs. Closed • Open adoptions occur when the adoptive families stay in contact with the birth parent through visits, letters, phone calls, etc. The birth parent is typically a part of the child’s life. • In closed adoptions there is no contact between the birth parent and the adoptive families. • Semi-open adoptions are becoming more popular. These types of adoptions allow contact like that of open adoptions, except that the contact is maintained only through written correspondence and by exchange of pictures. • Every relationship and adoption is different. Some couples prefer total involvement with the birth parent, and some want to start their lives as parents without the weight of a birth parent, per se. ** Get ready to begin making a birth/adoption plan! ** Slide 13 The Dreaded Home Study! • You have finally reach this pinnacle, and your nerves are likely shot, but stay focused as the wait is almost over! • A home study typically takes 3 to 4 months and includes at least one home visit; it will also include the following: • Intake form – this helps to determine whether or not you are qualified to adopt according to your state’s laws • Background check and financial review • Interview – each of you will be interviewed separately (this is routine) and the questions you are asked will get very personal. You may be asked about your childhood, siblings, parents, etc. Anything and everything is fair game. • The number of home visits will vary by agency and includes more than ‘just’ a home visit. Some require more than one, or, depending on how the initial interview goes, a second visit may be required – use this to your benefit – and do not let it worry you! Slide 14 General Information Included in the Home Study • Significant people in the lives of the applicants • Marriage and family relationships • Motivation to adopt • Expectations for the child • Feelings about infertility (if this is an issue) • Parenting and integration of the child into the family • Family environment • Physical and health history of the applicants • Education, employment and finances-including insurance coverage and child care plans if needed • References and criminal background clearances • Summary and social worker’s recommendation • Feelings about infertility (if this is an issue) • Parenting and integration of the child into the family
- 6. Slide 15 More on the Home Study... Never Let ‘em See You Sweat! • Some helpful tips: • Clean the house, but do not go overboard - the interviewer will expect a few dust bunnies. According to the Child Welfare Information Gateway, one of the main purposes for a home visit is to “best match your family's strengths to the needs of a particular child or children.” • Be yourself. The home study and interview is to allow the interviewer to see you in your ‘natural habitat’ as an individual and as a couple; this is a part of the adoption process for all prospective parents • (Child Welfare Information Gateway, 2011). Slide 16 References • All about home studies. (2014). Retrieved on December 6, 2014 from http://www.lifelongadoptions.com/adoption-process/all-about-home-studies • Child Welfare Information Gateway (2011, February). Costs of Adopting. Washington, DC: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Children’s Bureau. • Child Welfare Information Gateway. (2011). Frequently asked questions from lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) prospective foster and adoptive parents. Washington, DC: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Children's Bureau. • Gates, G. J., Badgett, M. V., Macomber, J. E., & Chambers, K. (2007). Adoption and foster care by gay and lesbian parents in the United States. The Williams Institute. Slide 17 References continued • Grants/loans/tax credit for adoptions. (2014). Retrieved on December 6, 2014 from https://www.childwelfare.gov/adoption/adoptive/grants_loans.cfm • Types of adoption. (2014). Retrieved on December 6, 2014 from http://www.lifelongadoptions.com/typesofadoptions