Self Esteem
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The document recounts the author's educational journey, highlighting early challenges and the development of self-esteem through perseverance and personal determination. It emphasizes the components and characteristics of self-esteem, contrasting it with related concepts such as self-concept and self-worth, and outlines factors influencing self-esteem. Additionally, it discusses the psychological aspects of self-esteem, its role in Maslow's hierarchy of needs, and the importance of self-compassion.
Self Esteem
- 1. Compiled by Col Mukteshwar Prasad(Retd), MTech(IITD),CE(I),FIE(I),FIETE,FISLE,FInstOD,AMCSI Contact -9007224278, e-mail – [email protected] for book ”Decoding Services Selection Board” and SSB ON line guidance and training at Shivnandani Edu and Defence Academy Self esteem
- 2. Story 1 I had my schooling in a village ,Toi Garh Upper Primary School. God was kind and I continued topping class till Class V. Represented my school at Barbigha Block level and then represented Block at Munger District academic competition. We did not have coaching or resources widely available now. But we did have dedicated teacher in Hialal Jha who used to take classes for class IV and V . Boys from two classes would sit in the same room as only three rooms and three teachers were available including office for classers up to class V. New private middle school was opened in our village. My grand father did want me to go to nearby city for middle school but my Father and my Uncle insisted that I being the topper has to lead and study in new school only knowing it fully well that new school had only one temporary teacher whose attendance itself was irregular and no facilities. The newly appointed teacher was staying in one of my class mate house . Naturally he was biased and favouring my friend. To my utter shock I was 2nd and he became 1st.I did cry on my failure and promised my self to challenge myself. Next year
- 3. Story 1 Simultaneously my Uncle made me appear for Sainik School Entrance Examination and I was selected to study at Sainik School Tilaiya. Except for A BCD.. Had absolute no idea of English as our mode of education was Hindi. On 09 Feb 1964 joined new school where teaching was in English. Examination was conducted in Apr 1964. Scored all Zero in all subject except Science (Got 1 marks for drawing diagram) and Maths (90 being known numerals).Was dropped in same class with warning. At home my elder brother asked me to withdraw as I would not be able to manage my studies. I refused, took Bhargav Dicktionary and started learning Hindi to English with the help of my Uncle. Did struggle hard with full determination in the heat of summer . Spent a month with my elder brother at Ranchi to study Maths Next term Examination I came 4th in class with failing in English. With pursued vigour and self belief came 1st in class .Though by mistake of my class teacher Mr S N Jha 100 in maths was counted as 10 and was 8th in class. On pointing was promptly corrected and was honoured to have received Book Prize fron the then Chief Minister K B Sahay. Since then never looked back and kept topping my class and was sweetly remembered by Principal and others as “Mathematician:” for
- 4. Analysis :Story 1 At hind sight was it a healthy sense of self-esteem that guided me toward accepting reality, thinking critically, introspecting, correcting and resurrecting , problem- solving from failure nay grave failure instead of wallowing in self-pity or giving up and behaved authentically. These terms were not known then but did inherit from my Father and Grand Father (A farmer who relentlessly kept working and cultivating over 100 Bihga land and never kept even a Rupee to give us a toffee. Grand Father took on might of Kota Binda Maharaj and others and pursued till Supreme Court in 1930s ) Factors as per my analysis was Genetics(Father and Grand Father never gave up against all odds) Personality(Developed to achieve through honestly through hard work) Thoughts(Had to do something and had self belief)
- 5. Characteristics of mine(Story -1) indicating Self Esteem Acknowledged mistakes and was open to healthy criticism Enjoyed growing as a person and found fulfillment and meaning in what ever I had and pursued relentlessly Tried to be creative in all my endeavours knowing knowledge has no end Made own decisions and tried to bring glory to my parents and my village Did try to see the world in realistic terms and tried solving problems Respected all and tried to maintain relationship Knew my and my family’s value and tried living accordingly and communicated with superiors, peers and subordinates without fear Avoided dwelling on the past and focused on the present moment. Believed I was equal to everyone else, no better and no worse. Rejected the attempts of others to manipulate me. Enjoyed a healthy balance of work, play, and relaxation. Accepted challenges and took risks in order to grow, and learn from mistakes when ever I failed.
- 6. What iself Esteem? Self-esteem refers to a person’s overall sense of his or her value or worth. It can be considered a sort of measure of how much a person “values, approves of, appreciates, prizes, or likes him or herself” (Adler & Stewart, 2004). According to Morris Rosenberg, self-esteem is quite simply one’s attitude toward oneself (1965). “favourable or unfavourable attitude toward the self”. Various factors believed to influence our self-esteem include: Genetics Personality Life experiences Age Health Thoughts Social circumstances The reactions of others Comparing the self to others Self-esteem is not fixed .We can test for and improve upon it.
- 7. Characteristics of Self Esteem Being open to criticism, Acknowledging mistakes, Being comfortable with giving and receiving compliments Displaying a harmony between what one says, does, looks, sounds, and moves. Unafraid to show their curiosity, Discuss their experiences, ideas, and opportunities. Enjoy the humorous aspects of their lives Comfortable with social or personal assertiveness (Branden, 1992). Appreciate themselves and other people. Enjoy growing as a person and finding fulfillment and meaning in their lives. Are able to dig deep within themselves and be creative. Make their own decisions and conform to what others tell them to be and do only when they agree. See the world in realistic terms, accepting other people the way they
- 8. Characteristics of Self Esteem ......2 Have loving and respectful relationships. Know what their values are and live their lives accordingly. Speak up and tell others their opinions, calmly and kindly, and share their wants and needs with others. Endeavor to make a constructive difference in other people’s lives (Smith & Harte). Act assertively without experiencing any guilt, and feel at ease communicating with others. Avoid dwelling on the past and focus on the present moment. Believe you are equal to everyone else, no better and no worse. Reject the attempts of others to manipulate you. Recognize and accept a wide range of feelings, both positive and negative, and share them within your healthy relationships. Enjoy a healthy balance of work, play, and relaxation. Accept challenges and take risks in order to grow, and learn from your mistakes when you fail.
- 9. Characteristics of Self Esteem ......3 Handle criticism without taking it personally, with the knowledge that you are learning and growing and that your worth is not dependent on the opinions of others. Value yourself and communicate well with others, without fear of expressing your likes, dislikes, and feelings. Value others and accept them as they are without trying to change them (Self Esteem Awareness).
- 10. Characteristics of Low Self Esteem You’re easily angered or irritated You feel your opinion isn’t important You hate yourself What you do is never good enough You’re highly sensitive to others opinions The world doesn’t feel safe You doubt every decision You regularly experience the emotions of sadness and worthlessness You find it hard keeping relationships You avoid taking risks or trying new things You engage in addictive avoidance behaviors You struggle with confidence You find it difficult creating boundaries You give more attention to your weaknesses
- 11. Characteristics of Low Self Esteem You are often unsure of who you are You feel negative experiences are all consuming You struggle to say no You find it difficult asking for your needs to be met You hold a pessimistic or negative outlook on life You doubt your abilities or chances of success You frequently experience negative emotions, such as fear, anxiety or depression You compare yourself with others and often you come in second best
- 12. Constructs Self-Esteem and Psychology Starting from Freud till date Self-esteem has been a hot topic in psychology studying what self-esteem is, how it develops (or fails to develop) and what influences it. Self-Esteem vs. Self-Concept Self-esteem is not self-concept, although self-esteem may be a part of self-concept. Self-concept is the perception that we have of ourselves or awareness “Who am I?” and knowing about one’s own tendencies, thoughts, preferences and habits, hobbies, skills, and areas of weakness. Purkey (1988) describes self-concept as: “the totality of a complex, organized, and dynamic system of learned beliefs, attitudes and opinions that each person holds to be true about his or her personal existence”. According to Carl Rogers, self-concept is an overarching construct that self-esteem is one of the components of it (McLeod, 2008). Self-Esteem vs. Self-Image Self-image like self-concept is all about how you see yourself (McLeod, 2008). Our self-image may be close to reality or far from it, but it is generally not completely in line with objective reality or with the way others perceive us. It
- 13. Constructs Self-Esteem vs. Self-Worth Self-esteem is a similar concept to self-worth but with a small (although important) difference: self-esteem is what we think, feel, and believe about ourselves, while self-worth is the more global recognition that we are valuable human beings worthy of love (Hibbert, 2013). Self-Esteem vs. Self-Confidence Self-esteem is not self-confidence; self-confidence is about your trust in yourself and your ability to deal with challenges, solve problems, and engage successfully with the world (Burton, 2015). Thus Self-confidence is based more on external measures of success and value and self esteem the internal measures . One can have high self-confidence, particularly in a certain area or field, but still lack a healthy sense of overall value or self-esteem. Self-Esteem vs. Self-Efficacy Similar to self-confidence, self-efficacy is also related to self-esteem but not a proxy for it. Self-efficacy refers to the belief in one’s ability to succeed at certain tasks (Neil, 2005). You could have high self-efficacy when it comes to playing basketball, but low self-efficacy when it comes to succeeding in math class. Unlike self-esteem, self-efficacy is more specific rather than global, and it
- 14. Constructs Self-Esteem vs. Self-Compassion Self-esteem is also not self-compassion. Self-compassion centers on how we relate to ourselves rather than how we judge or perceive ourselves. Being self-compassionate means we are kind and forgiving to ourselves, and that we avoid being harsh or overly critical of ourselves. Self-compassion can lead us to a healthy sense of self-esteem, but it is not in and of itself self-esteem. Esteem in Maslow’s Theory – The Hierarchy of Needs Maslow’s pyramid: mentions Esteem needs at fourth level. These needs and the concept of self-esteem are certainly related, but Maslow’s esteem needs are more focused on external measures of esteem, such as respect, status, recognition, accomplishment, and prestige (McLeod, 2017). There is a component of self-esteem within this level of the hierarchy Maslow felt that the esteem of others was more important for development and need fulfillment than self-esteem. He explained that for one to achieve self-actualization and grow, their need for inner-respect and esteem from others must be met.