Solving People Problems
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The document provides ten tips for effectively handling difficult people in a professional setting, emphasizing the importance of mutual respect, direct communication, and focusing on facts rather than emotions. It also offers strategies for addressing communication challenges, unrealistic expectations from managers, and team members who underperform. Throughout, it encourages proactive engagement and reflection on personal behavior to foster collaborative problem-solving.
![beth.agnew@gmail.com https://groups.google.com/d/forum/stc15-solving-people-problems
What’stherealproblem here?
Analyze the problem –isit relatedtopeople,timelines,expectations,resources,communication? Think
throughall the aspectsof it,and determine whatyouneedoutof it.Whatsolution(s) wouldwork,and
whichisthe bestone?
Lookatyourownbehavior
Am I interruptingthem?DoI come across as too demanding?DoIseemimpatientordistracted? Ismy
tone or bodylanguage intimidating?Whatisit aboutthemor thissituationthatis botheringme? How
importantisit thatI solve this?
Lookatthingsfrom their perspective
Are theystressed,overworked,undervalued,hence impatientoranxious?Have theybeen“burned”by
previousconversations?Are instructionsorrequeststothemclear,withachievableoutcomes?What
can you doto make thingseasier?
DirectConversations
1. Intent – Holdgood intent,prepare,thinkitthrough,andexpectagoodoutcome.
2. Need– ShouldI letthisgo,or do I needtoaddressit?Do I needtoaddressit now?
3. Purpose – “Do youhave a few minutesto talkabout…”
4. Behavior – State the behavioryouobserved. {Don’ttalkaboutanythingyoudidn’twitness.]
5. Specific– Don’t use generalitiesorlabels“Youalways…”“That wasa racistremark…”
6. Effect– “I thought…”“I felt…”“Iwas confusedbecause…”“Thatsurprisedme.I…”
7. Response – “What was goingon foryou…” “Was there a reason…”
8. Change – “I needyouto…” “I’d like youto…”
9. Support – “Will thatwork foryou?” “What can I do to supportyouinthis?”
10. Document – Whenyou geta chance,make note of the time,date,andsubstance of the
conversationforyourownrecords.It may come inhandylaterif the situationrepeats,continues
or getsworse.
Derailed Conversations
Sometimes peoplewillderailthe conversationthroughjustifyingthemselves,dismissingyourconcerns,
minimizingordenyingthe effects,sarcasm, hostility,orjustbywalkingaway.Regroupandreiterate the
DirectConversationmodel.Reassurethemthatyoujustwantto have a conversationaboutsomething
important.If theycontinue toresist,withdraw.“Okay,Icansee thisisa bad time,let’stryitagain later.”
In the end,youmay notget much improvement,peoplemayrespondbadly,andyoumaynotbe able to
repairthat workrelationship.BUT,if youhave at leasttriedtodeal withthose difficultsituations,you
have done yourjob.
Andyou’ll feel somuchbetteraboutyourself forbeingproactive!
After-SummitSupport
Sometimeswe needtothinkaboutthings andprocessthembefore ourreal questionsarise.Youare
invitedtojoinmyGoogle groupsetup forquestions,answersanddiscussions.Youmayalsoask
questionsprivatelyif youneedhelpwithsomethingconfidential.Thanksforjoiningustoday!](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/solvingpeopleproblems-150621111042-lva1-app6891/85/Solving-People-Problems-2-320.jpg)
Solving People Problems
- 1. [email protected] https://groups.google.com/d/forum/stc15-solving-people-problems Solving People Problems 10 Tips for Handling Difficult People 1. Be respectful andprofessional. Keepyouremotionsundercontrol. Use neutral language. 2. Focuson the facts or principlesof asituationandnotthe people. Don’targue thoughts,feelings or perceptions. 3. Have directconversationsinaspiritof problem-solvingandteamwork. 4. Pickyour battles.Howimportantisitthat youaddressthissituation?Now? 5. Identifythe desiredoutcome.Be sure youare clear onwhat youwant to have happen. 6. Agree todisagree butstill workcollaboratively.Youdon’t needconsensus,justcooperation. 7. Let go of your personal agendaforthe goodof the team. 8. Be forgiving,andrelease negative feelingssotheydon’tfesterinsideyou. 9. Confronterrors,criticism,unfairness,bullying.Call itoutintothe lightof day. 10. Escalate the situationtomanagement orgethelp if you aren’tsuccessful solvingityourself. People are busy,stressed,oblivious,andthoughtless.Theymaynothave meantto cause youdifficulties, or evenrealize thattheyhave. Andsome people werejustsocializedpoorlygrowingup,orare shy, insecure,evendepressed.They’ve developedcommunicationtacticstogetwhattheywantand/or protectthemselves.Directconversationscutthoughthose defences,overcomebarriers,andclearthe air. Findcommongroundso that youhave a sharedinterest,whetherthat’sthe same project,similar lifestyles,ormutual problems. SMEswho won’tcommunicate Get to knowthem;whoare they,whatare theyworkingon? Respecttheirtime;keepsessionsshortandto the point Do your homework; askknowledgeable questions;NEVER“tell me likeI’ma4-yearold” Rememberyou’re asmuchof an expertinyourowndomain;theyneedyouto tell theirstory Give themsomethingtoreview andareasonable deadline inwhichtoreview it Managerswith unrealistic expectations Askthemwhat theirexpectationsare inthissituation Reflectbackyourunderstandingof whatwasrequired/asked Presentthe case intime-and-resourcesterms Be professional,co-operative,focusedonasolutionandteamwork. Team memberswhodon’tdeliver Is there a barrier,dependency,orlackof resource impedingtheirprogress? Communicate yourneeds,andfollow up Askwhat youcan do to helpthemmeetthe goal (butdon’tdo theirworkforthem) Involve yourmanagerif all else fails
- 2. [email protected] https://groups.google.com/d/forum/stc15-solving-people-problems What’stherealproblem here? Analyze the problem –isit relatedtopeople,timelines,expectations,resources,communication? Think throughall the aspectsof it,and determine whatyouneedoutof it.Whatsolution(s) wouldwork,and whichisthe bestone? Lookatyourownbehavior Am I interruptingthem?DoI come across as too demanding?DoIseemimpatientordistracted? Ismy tone or bodylanguage intimidating?Whatisit aboutthemor thissituationthatis botheringme? How importantisit thatI solve this? Lookatthingsfrom their perspective Are theystressed,overworked,undervalued,hence impatientoranxious?Have theybeen“burned”by previousconversations?Are instructionsorrequeststothemclear,withachievableoutcomes?What can you doto make thingseasier? DirectConversations 1. Intent – Holdgood intent,prepare,thinkitthrough,andexpectagoodoutcome. 2. Need– ShouldI letthisgo,or do I needtoaddressit?Do I needtoaddressit now? 3. Purpose – “Do youhave a few minutesto talkabout…” 4. Behavior – State the behavioryouobserved. {Don’ttalkaboutanythingyoudidn’twitness.] 5. Specific– Don’t use generalitiesorlabels“Youalways…”“That wasa racistremark…” 6. Effect– “I thought…”“I felt…”“Iwas confusedbecause…”“Thatsurprisedme.I…” 7. Response – “What was goingon foryou…” “Was there a reason…” 8. Change – “I needyouto…” “I’d like youto…” 9. Support – “Will thatwork foryou?” “What can I do to supportyouinthis?” 10. Document – Whenyou geta chance,make note of the time,date,andsubstance of the conversationforyourownrecords.It may come inhandylaterif the situationrepeats,continues or getsworse. Derailed Conversations Sometimes peoplewillderailthe conversationthroughjustifyingthemselves,dismissingyourconcerns, minimizingordenyingthe effects,sarcasm, hostility,orjustbywalkingaway.Regroupandreiterate the DirectConversationmodel.Reassurethemthatyoujustwantto have a conversationaboutsomething important.If theycontinue toresist,withdraw.“Okay,Icansee thisisa bad time,let’stryitagain later.” In the end,youmay notget much improvement,peoplemayrespondbadly,andyoumaynotbe able to repairthat workrelationship.BUT,if youhave at leasttriedtodeal withthose difficultsituations,you have done yourjob. Andyou’ll feel somuchbetteraboutyourself forbeingproactive! After-SummitSupport Sometimeswe needtothinkaboutthings andprocessthembefore ourreal questionsarise.Youare invitedtojoinmyGoogle groupsetup forquestions,answersanddiscussions.Youmayalsoask questionsprivatelyif youneedhelpwithsomethingconfidential.Thanksforjoiningustoday!