Solving People Problems

Solving People Problems

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  [email protected] https://groups.google.com/d/forum/stc15-solving-people-problems Solving PeopleProblems 10 Tips for Handling Difficult People 1. Be respectful andprofessional. Keepyouremotionsundercontrol. Use neutral language. 2. Focuson the facts or principlesof asituationandnotthe people. Don’targue thoughts,feelings or perceptions. 3. Have directconversationsinaspiritof problem-solvingandteamwork. 4. Pickyour battles.Howimportantisitthat youaddressthissituation?Now? 5. Identifythe desiredoutcome.Be sure youare clear onwhat youwant to have happen. 6. Agree todisagree butstill workcollaboratively.Youdon’t needconsensus,justcooperation. 7. Let go of your personal agendaforthe goodof the team. 8. Be forgiving,andrelease negative feelingssotheydon’tfesterinsideyou. 9. Confronterrors,criticism,unfairness,bullying.Call itoutintothe lightof day. 10. Escalate the situationtomanagement orgethelp if you aren’tsuccessful solvingityourself. People are busy,stressed,oblivious,andthoughtless.Theymaynothave meantto cause youdifficulties, or evenrealize thattheyhave. Andsome people werejustsocializedpoorlygrowingup,orare shy, insecure,evendepressed.They’ve developedcommunicationtacticstogetwhattheywantand/or protectthemselves.Directconversationscutthoughthose defences,overcomebarriers,andclearthe air. Findcommongroundso that youhave a sharedinterest,whetherthat’sthe same project,similar lifestyles,ormutual problems. SMEswho won’tcommunicate  Get to knowthem;whoare they,whatare theyworkingon?  Respecttheirtime;keepsessionsshortandto the point  Do your homework; askknowledgeable questions;NEVER“tell me likeI’ma4-yearold”  Rememberyou’re asmuchof an expertinyourowndomain;theyneedyouto tell theirstory  Give themsomethingtoreview andareasonable deadline inwhichtoreview it Managerswith unrealistic expectations  Askthemwhat theirexpectationsare inthissituation  Reflectbackyourunderstandingof whatwasrequired/asked  Presentthe case intime-and-resourcesterms  Be professional,co-operative,focusedonasolutionandteamwork. Team memberswhodon’tdeliver  Is there a barrier,dependency,orlackof resource impedingtheirprogress?  Communicate yourneeds,andfollow up  Askwhat youcan do to helpthemmeetthe goal (butdon’tdo theirworkforthem)  Involve yourmanagerif all else fails
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  [email protected] https://groups.google.com/d/forum/stc15-solving-people-problems What’stherealproblem here? Analyzethe problem –isit relatedtopeople,timelines,expectations,resources,communication? Think throughall the aspectsof it,and determine whatyouneedoutof it.Whatsolution(s) wouldwork,and whichisthe bestone? Lookatyourownbehavior Am I interruptingthem?DoI come across as too demanding?DoIseemimpatientordistracted? Ismy tone or bodylanguage intimidating?Whatisit aboutthemor thissituationthatis botheringme? How importantisit thatI solve this? Lookatthingsfrom their perspective Are theystressed,overworked,undervalued,hence impatientoranxious?Have theybeen“burned”by previousconversations?Are instructionsorrequeststothemclear,withachievableoutcomes?What can you doto make thingseasier? DirectConversations 1. Intent – Holdgood intent,prepare,thinkitthrough,andexpectagoodoutcome. 2. Need– ShouldI letthisgo,or do I needtoaddressit?Do I needtoaddressit now? 3. Purpose – “Do youhave a few minutesto talkabout…” 4. Behavior – State the behavioryouobserved. {Don’ttalkaboutanythingyoudidn’twitness.] 5. Specific– Don’t use generalitiesorlabels“Youalways…”“That wasa racistremark…” 6. Effect– “I thought…”“I felt…”“Iwas confusedbecause…”“Thatsurprisedme.I…” 7. Response – “What was goingon foryou…” “Was there a reason…” 8. Change – “I needyouto…” “I’d like youto…” 9. Support – “Will thatwork foryou?” “What can I do to supportyouinthis?” 10. Document – Whenyou geta chance,make note of the time,date,andsubstance of the conversationforyourownrecords.It may come inhandylaterif the situationrepeats,continues or getsworse. Derailed Conversations Sometimes peoplewillderailthe conversationthroughjustifyingthemselves,dismissingyourconcerns, minimizingordenyingthe effects,sarcasm, hostility,orjustbywalkingaway.Regroupandreiterate the DirectConversationmodel.Reassurethemthatyoujustwantto have a conversationaboutsomething important.If theycontinue toresist,withdraw.“Okay,Icansee thisisa bad time,let’stryitagain later.” In the end,youmay notget much improvement,peoplemayrespondbadly,andyoumaynotbe able to repairthat workrelationship.BUT,if youhave at leasttriedtodeal withthose difficultsituations,you have done yourjob. Andyou’ll feel somuchbetteraboutyourself forbeingproactive! After-SummitSupport Sometimeswe needtothinkaboutthings andprocessthembefore ourreal questionsarise.Youare invitedtojoinmyGoogle groupsetup forquestions,answersanddiscussions.Youmayalsoask questionsprivatelyif youneedhelpwithsomethingconfidential.Thanksforjoiningustoday!