Previous

My day of rest does me a lot of good. Eric made himself scarce for most of the day. Tara came by to keep me company. The dance studio is going to be closed until Monday, but I imagine most of our clients will be at the funeral along with the majority of the town. That’s the thing about small towns—when someone dies, everyone feels the loss, regardless of how well they actually knew the person that passed on.

Jake didn’t die of natural causes or a terminal illness. His end was violent, sudden and not the usual for Bon Temps. I think in the whole history of the town there’s probably a dozen murders on the books. Things like this just don’t happen here on a regular basis. Tara tells me there are rumors going around that the police has a ‘person of interest’ they’re looking at over in Hot Shot. That doesn’t surprise me one bit.

Like the rest of us, Tara’s not really affected by Eric’s presence in town. To us, he’s just Eric. He’s the same guy that played football with our brothers or friends and chased every skirt in town until it wasn’t fun for him anymore and he had to move on. It’s actually a little weird that he’s famous.

We veg out on the couch together with the ice cream Eric picked up and a pie. Calories be damned. At her insistence, we’re watching Dirty Dancing, her favorite movie.

“Eric bought the good shit,” she says as she takes a big bite of her ice cream.

“Are you surprised?” I take another bite of the Dutch apple pie that’s been calling my name for two days.

It’s nice to be hungry again.

“Not at all. That boy always did like the finer things.”

“Then it’s a good thing he makes the kind of money that can support his habits. He offered to fly me out to California if I want to get out of here for a while,” I tell her.

“Oh wow,” she says. “Are you going to take him up on that? He’d probably get you out there first class and everything.”

“Probably. I mean, the first class thing. I don’t know if staying with him is a good idea. It was a nice offer, though.”

“Why wouldn’t it be a good idea? He was Jake’s best friend.”

“Because Eric and I drive each other crazy, that’s why. We’re tolerating each other right now because we’re too preoccupied to remember why we can’t stand each other, but that’ll fade.”

“Doesn’t he have a guest house? You could probably manage to go out there and never see him.”

“Yeah, he does. His house is just… Tara, it’s almost obscene. It’s just him living there but I swear it’s big enough to almost be a small compound. What does a single person need with all that room?” I shove another bite of pie in my face.

“Maybe he wants to fill it with kids one day,” she shrugged. “Or he’s compensating for lack of penis.”

I nearly choke on my pie at either of her guesses. I can’t imagine Eric with kids, at least not without having different mothers and I can’t imagine Eric doing well with baby mama drama either.

“According to him he’s not lacking anything,” I tell her when I stop coughing and get my food down the right pipe.

“Yeah, he’s never been shy about that,” she grins.

“And just in case you’re wondering, no, I’ve never seen it.”

“I wasn’t. I didn’t think he’d stoop so low as to show it to girls like us.”

“Oh he’d do it to me just for the shock value.”

“He’s a fool,” she shakes her head.

“Generally yes, but he’s been nice to me since he got here so we’ll see how long it lasts.”

“He’s not going to be mean to you.”

“Not with Jase and Jake’s parents around anyway. But seriously, I know this is hard on him too. He’s giving Jake’s eulogy. That’s got to be hard. I know I couldn’t do it. I thought about writing something and asking Jase to read it for me but I don’t know… I think it might get a little too personal and I don’t need to put that much of my private life out there. Not in this town, anyway.”

“You could write something and read it to Jake yourself,” she suggests. “Maybe after…”

“I could,” I agree. “We’ll see. I’ll probably end up back in the cemetery when everything is over with. Then I’ll end up in the hospital with pneumonia.”

“You need to take care of yourself.”

“That’s what I’m doing,” I smile. “I got a good night’s sleep last night and I’ve been taking it easy all day. I’m dreading picking out what I’m going to wear tomorrow. I think I might wear blue.”

“Jake always liked you in blue,” she smiles.

“Yeah, we had that in common.”

“Have you picked out his suit?”

“Eric did.”

“That’s good,” she nodded.

“He wants to help. I get it, but there’s not a whole lot for him to do. It’d be different if Channing and Dell weren’t around, but they are so…”

“He probably needs to feel like he’s being useful.”

I nod. “He was excited I asked for ice cream and tea yesterday so, yeah, I’d say so.”

“I’m surprised he came out here so quickly.”

“So am I. I’m even more surprised he hasn’t been at Merlotte’s the whole time.”

“Why?”

“Because if I wasn’t sick I’d probably be hammered right now myself.”

“Is he there now?” she asks.

“I don’t know where he is. I know he was planning to go over to Jake’s parents’ house, but I don’t know if he’s still there. He’s got keys so he can come and go as he pleases.”

“Good idea,” she says, and takes the last bite of her pie.

“You know, I’m surprised he didn’t come with a date. I thought for sure he was going to bring someone with him.”

“Why would you think that? He doesn’t stick with his vages for long.”

“Yeah, but funerals do funny things to people. You know, the need to reaffirm life and all that, and you know he’s not going to hookup with someone from around here. A random source would be running to the first tabloid interested in hearing all about his latest love connection.”

“Then maybe he’s just here to grieve, sans life affirming sex.”

“Stranger things have happened, I guess,” I shrug.

We finish the movie about forty-five minutes later and after Tara helps me clean up the few dishes from our pig out, she heads home for the night. I go upstairs to my bedroom and look through my dress options for the next day. I have a few black dresses, but they aren’t really appropriate for a funeral. The dress I wore for the football banquet, however, would look nice. I bought it just for that occasion and I haven’t worn it since.

It makes sense to me to retire it along with Jake’s fancy new shoes.

Eric never showed me which suit he picked, but since Jake only owned three, I know he took the black one. I lift my hand to touch the dark blue one he wore for the banquet, and my ring sparkles in the dim closet light. I guess it’s an engagement ring, but Jake never really proposed to me. We just knew that marriage was in the cards for us when it felt right. We talked about it from time to time, but in my heart I was already committed to him. The rest was just paperwork.

Our parents had been surprised but delighted when we told them we were trying to get pregnant. I knew the old fashioned part of my father really wanted us to get married first, but he’s smart enough to know that once I’ve made up my mind about something I’m not likely to change it. Jake and I agreed that marriage wasn’t something mandatory for starting a family.

Someday, probably for the sake of our children, we’d tie the knot.

But I look at my ring and I know this is this closest I’ll ever come to a wedding ring. I can’t take it off. Not yet. I’m not ready.

I get my outfit together for the wake and then head to the bathroom to take a long, hot bath before bed.

xXx

The next morning my alarm wakes me up at just after eight. I have no idea when, or if, Eric came home the night before. After my bath I got into bed just fine without a sedative. My fever is gone and the coughing has calmed down considerably. I’m breathing a little easier, all things considered, but the first thing I do when I get up is take the next dose of medication my doctor prescribed for me. I plug in my straightening iron, but don’t turn it on.

First things first. I need coffee. As soon as I’m finished in the bathroom I go down to the kitchen. I need to bring some of the food over to Jake’s parents’ house before the wake so it’s one less thing to do tomorrow or later tonight after the wake is over. I imagine by the time it’s all done tonight I’m just going to want to crawl into bed and cry myself to sleep.

I get the coffee going and then start to rummage around in the fridge to make something for breakfast. My appetite has returned full force. Good thing too, because I don’t need to end up back in the hospital after another fainting spell. I’m in the middle of scrambling some eggs when I hear Eric’s bedroom door open. He comes stumbling into my kitchen looking like shit and judging by the smell of him he had a few too many last night.

“Morning,” I say, and immediately he stops and closes his eyes. He sways a little like the sound of my voice has stunned him into an unfortunate reality he was hoping to avoid. I lower my voice and whisper, “Coffee’s almost ready.”

He nods and then turns on the water. Eric doesn’t bother with a glass, but rather lowers his head and drinks directly from the faucet. Jesus, how fucked up did he get last night? If I see his rental car in the driveway I’m going to kick his ass for driving drunk.

Eric straightens up, rubs his eyes and then finally looks at me. His eyes don’t seem to be focusing well until they land on my chest and I suddenly remember I’m not wearing a bra under the tank top I slept in. I clear my throat and he groans while grabbing his head.

Good. Serves him right.

EPOV

My head is killing me, and I immediately regret getting fucked up last night. I spent most of the day with Jake’s family and had dinner with them, but after dinner I went to Merlotte’s and started drinking. The day with his family was good, but it was a lot of reminiscing and by the time I left I felt like shit. I just wanted to get fucked up and feel numb.

There were some old friends of mine there that started drinking with me and before I knew it I was three sheets to the wind and Sam was driving me back to Sookie’s house. I have no idea what time I got home.

Now I’m standing in Sookie’s kitchen wondering why everything is so fucking bright and loud.

“Fuck, when did I get old?” I grumble.

“Judging by your smell, about the time you and Señor Patrón became pals,” Sookie says, and hands over a mug of black coffee.

“You don’t have to shout,” I say as I take the coffee from her. “Thank you.”

Sookie doesn’t adjust her volume. “You’re welcome. There’s extra strength Tylenol in your bathroom if you’re interested. Breakfast will be ready in about half an hour if you want to go lay down.”

“Yeah,” I say. “I’m just gonna take a shower and I’ll be fine.”

“Okay.”

I go back to my bedroom to grab some clean clothes, then take my coffee to the bathroom. Tylenol comes first, and after I take it I finish the coffee then hop in the shower. It feels even better than I expected it to and I don’t really want to get out, but then I smell bacon. I reluctantly get out of the shower after cleaning up, and pull on a fresh pair of flannel pants and a t-shirt. At home I go shirtless, but Jake always threatened to kick my ass if I didn’t act respectable around Sookie. That meant no partial nudity.

Once I’m dressed I can feel the Tylenol kicking in, and I head back out to the kitchen. Sookie is just setting food out on the table.

“Please tell me you cooked like ten pounds of bacon,” I say as I sit down.

“Almost. Need more coffee?” Sookie pulls a pan of biscuits out of the oven.

“Yes please,” I say. “Why don’t you have drapes over your kitchen windows?”

“Because sunlight is my friend,” she says in an annoyingly cheerful voice that makes me want to… nevermind.

“You’re evil.”

Sookie refills my coffee cup and says, “I’m giving you a guaranteed hangover cure. I’m far from evil. Evil would be downloading polka music and playing it on the surround sound while I vacuum.”

“Touche.”

Sookie goes back to the stove and piles eggs, bacon, sausage and hashbrowns onto a plate before bringing it over to me with a fork.

“Want honey with your biscuits?” she offers.

“Fuckyes I do,” I say.

She snorts and goes back to grab the biscuits, butter and a jar of honey. Sookie sets it all on the table and then goes back to the stove to serve herself.

“Did the shower help?”

“Yeah, and the Tylenol,” I say as I pick up my fork. “Do I still smell?”

“Not in a bad way.”

“Good,” I nod, and take a huge bite. I groan and don’t waste time shoveling half my plate into my mouth.

“Whoa, calm down there, killer. There’s more on the stove,” Sookie says as she settles down at the table next to me with much less on her plate than there is on mine.

“It’s good,” I say with my mouth full. So much for being respectable.

She shakes her head and reaches for a biscuit.

“How late were you out last night?” she asks.

“I have no idea. I remember Sam driving me here.”

“So probably around four,” she says, and adds, “Merlotte’s closes around two on Fridays, but Sam usually cleans up before driving anyone home. He likes to get a little coffee into the drunks before sending them out.”

“Smart of him,” I say. Once my plate is clean I tear into the biscuits with honey. “I should make you come cook for me in L.A.”

“Make me?” Sookie raises an eyebrow.

“Ask you,” I correct myself.

“Mmhmm…” Sookie takes smaller bites of her food than I do mine, pausing to sip her coffee or drizzle more honey on her biscuit.

“Can I get more?” I ask.

“Have at it. I’m good here.”

“Thanks,” I say, and get up to fill my plate again. My trainer is going to be pissed at me when I get back, but fuck if I care. By the time I finish again Sookie is finally finished eating what little she’d put on her plate. I figure it’s as good a time as any to bring up the eulogy.

“I uh… I wrote Jake’s eulogy,” I say. “Do you want to read it beforehand?”

“I can if you’d like me to, but it’s entirely up to you.” Sookie seems uncomfortable, but that’s understandable.

“It’s really up to you. I just didn’t know if you wanted to approve it or not.”

“No, I don’t need to approve it. You might have questionable judgment sometimes, but I know you wouldn’t use Jake’s funeral to air out any dirty laundry or grievances,” she says, and sips her coffee. “Besides, you should say whatever it is that’s in your heart to say.”

“I did,” I say. “And no, I didn’t air anything.”

“Jake didn’t have much to air,” she smiles. “He lived pretty openly.”

“He was a great guy.”

“Yes, he was.” Sookie stands up and takes her dirty dishes to the sink to start cleaning up.

I pick up my dishes too and take them over to her, then pick up a towel to help dry and put them away.

“What are you doing?” Sookie looks at me like I’ve got three heads.

“Helping?”

“Since when do you do domestic work?”

“Oh come on, I’m not that much of an asshole, am I?”

“Eric, I have never once seen you lift a finger to help with stuff like this before. Forgive me for being a little surprised.”

“Well I’m helping now,” I say, and hold my hand out for the clean, wet dish in her hands.

“Alright.” Sookie hands the dish over to me.

She doesn’t raise a fuss through the rest of the dishes, and once the kitchen is clean I realize that I feel a lot better.

“So what time does everything start?”

“The wake starts at two for everyone else, but I have to be there at one. It’s going to be closed casket for obvious reasons. Channing had to go do the identification…” she trails off, and clears her throat before she can start crying again. “I told Dell I would help her bring snacks and refreshments over, plus there’s the pictures and things to set up before the doors open to the public. If you’d like to come early, that would be okay.”

“Yeah, I would,” I say. “I want to help.”

“Okay. I plan to be ready to go by quarter to one,” she says.

“I’ll be ready by then too.”

“Okay. I’ve got a few things to do upstairs so if you need me, you know where to find me.”

“Alright,” I say, and once she leaves I head out to the porch to make a couple phone calls.

xXx

At a quarter to one I’m ready and waiting by the front door. I’m wearing a suit, and what we’re about to do hits me like a ton of bricks. I feel guilty for being the one still alive. Jake had so many plans, and he deserved to get to live them out.

When Sookie walks down the steps in her dress I can’t help but think that she looks beautiful. I always understood why Jake was attracted to her; she is a gorgeous girl. The blue of her dress makes her eyes pop, and I smile at the idea of her wearing blue to a wake. Jake would have loved her even more for it.

“You ready?” I ask when she reaches the bottom of the stairs.

“As I’ll ever be,” she says, and goes to the coat closet for a black trench coat.

“Would you like me to drive?”

“Please.” Sookie puts her coat on.

I hold the door open for her and gesture for her to go ahead of me. We load into my car and I pull out of the drive.

“Is there anyone you don’t want to see today?” I ask. “I can run interference.”

“No, I think I’ll be okay. I’m not worried about anyone starting drama.”

“Things have changed then.”

“We’re not in high school anymore,” she says quietly.

“Yeah…”

We’re quiet after that, and when we get to the funeral home Sookie gets out of the car and heads in quickly. I’m not sure if I upset her or not, but I hope not. She has more than enough on her plate. I get out and head in, and immediately see Channing.

“Hey, Channing,” I say. He’s looking at the pictures, and I resist the urge to look too. Sometimes it’s too hard to remember the happy times at first.

He looks up and says, “Hello.” He’s not as animated and social as he was the day before.

“You doing okay?” I ask as I put my hand on his shoulder.

“For now,” he says. “The day is still young and my flask is still full.” He pats his chest.

“There’s an idea I wish I had.”

“I’m sure we can work something out later on,” he assures me. “How are you doing?”

“I’m holding up,” I say. “Sookie has been eating and she got some rest last night. She seems to be feeling better. At least when it comes to the cold.”

“That’s good. One thing at a time, right?”

“Yeah, that’s about all we can do.”

Dell calls to him so he excuses himself and leaves me standing in front of a wall of pictures of Jake from all different times in his life. There are several pictures of him with me from when we were kids, and I smile at those memories. We didn’t have a damn care in the world back then. Then there’s the pictures from high school, and those quickly begin to include Sookie. Those pictures make me sad and angry. Not because she’s in them, but because it’s incredibly obvious how happy he was. She made him happy and whole, and they both knew they were lucky to have found it so fast.

I wasn’t sure I believed in the kind of love they had, but they did. Because of that, they deserved to have been able to continue on. They were going to have babies and make the most wonderful parents. I could have easily seen Jake tossing a football around with a son or a daughter. He would have been a fantastic parent, and I’m pissed that he was robbed of that chance. Before I know it I feel hot tears in my eyes again, and I tear them away from the photos. I have to find something else to do before I lose it.

 

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