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After Valentine’s Day it was almost like the bubble around us burst. Eric ended up auditioning for the movie about mental illness. Pam was salivating, saying that it had an Oscar nomination written all over it. I don’t think that was part of what drew Eric to the role, but maybe it was. Maybe the third time would be the charm for him. He was elated when he got the call that he got the part. There was a hell of a celebration in our bedroom that night that left me sore for a good twenty-four hours but it was well worth it.

Ella started getting teeth so I decided it was time to wean her off the boob. As much as I enjoyed the quiet time together we got to have when I fed her, those little teeth of hers were razor sharp and I was not prepared to be bitten like that. I knew she wasn’t doing it on purpose but that didn’t make it hurt any less. The first time we gave her peaches, as predicted, she made the funniest face I’ve ever seen. She looked at Eric and me like we were trying to poison her before the sweet found her tongue and ever since then she’s been a hound for her pureed fruits.

The cupcake business finally got too big for me to run out of the house. I needed help and more space, which led to Eric and me looking for commercial space to rent. We found a cute little place not too far from the house and signed a six month lease. He was fronting money to get new ovens and other appliances that were necessary for running such a business but I insisted on a contract being signed by a notary guaranteeing him his money back. There wasn’t a time limit on it, just that he would get it. I knew he’d just put the money in Ella’s college fund, and I was fine with that, but I was paying him back.

Come hell or high water.

After careful consideration I decided where I wanted to go for that long weekend Eric had said we would take over Christmas. Rather than flying Mom and Dad out to us, we decided we would bring Ella out to them. That way they wouldn’t have to worry about trying to get around or having paparazzi bothering them. Besides, it would be good for Ella to get out of L.A. for a little while anyway. My heart was set on Antigua and when I told Eric where I wanted to go I could practically see his mind filling with images of me in skimpy swimwear for days on end.

The resort I picked had separate cabins with private balconies and picturesque ocean views. I suspect that when we’re not on the beach he’ll be fucking my brains out. Or I’ll be fucking his brains out. Either way, there’ll be a whole lot of fucking going on.

Which brings me to why I’m at my doctor’s office today. When I got sick back in January I had to cancel my appointment to get my next birth control shot. With things being so crazy with the baby, the business and everything else going on I completely spaced out on it until last week. But Eric and I are leaving for Antigua in a few days so it only makes sense for me to get back on the shot. This is why it’s a good thing I didn’t go on the pill.

So far I seem fine. When I got pregnant with Ella I was pretty much throwing up immediately. I’m not noticing any of the symptoms I experienced the first time around but Dr. Vardamon is insisting on a pregnancy test anyway. A nurse did a quick blood draw and now I’m sitting in the office, cooling my heels and waiting for the results so I can get my shot and be on my way.

Eric and I will be in Antigua for a week instead of a long weekend. We’ll have a week to get settled in again and then he’ll have to leave to start filming. He finished up roundtables and wardrobe fittings last week. The best part about this movie is that he’s actually going to be starring with Sophie-Anne. She’ll be playing his wife and I think it makes Eric more uncomfortable than it makes me, oddly enough. I know she’s happily married and I know he loves me so there’s no reason to get all squeamish over a few movie kisses.

Then again, I haven’t seen him kiss someone else in a while.

But the de Castro movie will be opening over Thanksgiving so I’ll get to see it then. Eric’s going to have a hellacious schedule to deal with. When he’s not filming he’s going to have press to do for the de Castro movie and I promised I would do the premier thing with him if he wanted me to come along. Not just for Los Angeles either, but in New York and anywhere else he wanted me to go. Since I’d never been to Europe I knew going with him to at least London was a distinct possibility.

I’m playing Bingo on my phone when the door to my exam room opens and the nurse comes back in… without my shot.

“Uh oh. Was there a problem with the test?” I ask her.

“I guess it depends on how you look at it. The test came back positive. You’re pregnant, Sookie,” she says.

Oh. Fuck.

This news isn’t the punch in the gut it was when I found out I was pregnant with Ella, but we weren’t planning this baby either. Jesus, I’m a shit mom.

“Are you okay?” the nurse asks.

“Yeah,” I shake my head. “Just stunned. I mean, I knew it was possible but…”

“It’s okay, it happens. I’m going to make the note on your chart and then Dr. Vardamon will come in and do an exam.”

“Yeah,” I nod, still feeling a little numb.

It hasn’t sunk in yet.

But I’m pregnant.

Again.

xXx

I walk into the house still stunned by what I’ve learned. So much for getting silly drunk on fruity drinks on the beach and then having sloppy, drunken sex all over our hotel room. God, I’ll be lucky if the morning sickness doesn’t kick in the same as it did with Ella and whoop me for the next eight months. Dr. Vardamon says the baby looks healthy, and doesn’t seem to be a steroid baby like Ella was.

My sweet girl isn’t even a year old yet and already she’s going to be a big sister.

Speak of the devil, she comes crawling, looking for me when she hears the garage door close. Her hair has gotten longer and thicker, and it’s started to wave up like mine. I’ve let my hair grow out again, which makes Eric happy. He really hated it when I cut my hair. He’s going to hate it even more when I tell him I want to cut it even shorter next time. It’s just time for a change.

“Ma!” Ella gets up on her knees and holds her arms up to me.

I bend down and lift her up. She’ll be eleven months at the end of this month. It’s hard to believe time has gone by so quickly.

“Hi sweet girl,” I kiss her cheeks and she giggles. When she grins, she shows me all of her perfect, pearly white teeth. “Where’s Daddy?”

My smart girl points a chubby finger toward the kitchen, so I head that way. Maybe if I’m holding the apple of his eye he won’t freak out too much.

“Hey,” I say when I walk into the kitchen. Ella immediately flings herself in Eric’s direction. She loves playing Hot Potato with us so we have to pass her back and forth.

“Hey,” he smiles, and tosses Ella in the air once, making her laugh. “Get everything squared away?”

“Uh, not quite. Something sort of came back on the blood test they ran,” I tell him.

His face goes completely serious, and he asks, “What is it?”

I reach into my purse and grab the first ultrasound picture and hand it to him. “Nothing that won’t go away in about thirty-four weeks.”

He looks down at the picture, then back up at me, then the picture again.

“What? How? When?”

“I’m pregnant,” I say slowly. “And it probably happened when we had all the sex. Dr. Vardamon says judging by my hormone levels and the size of the baby it probably happened six weeks ago, so my birthday or the fourth of July.”

“I knew we had too much sex then,” he sighs.

I look at him like he has six heads. I don’t remember him complaining once that entire weekend. As a matter of fact, I remember him waking me up twice in the middle of the night.

“Are you blaming me for this?” I ask him just to be sure. If he is, I’ll kill him.

“What? No!”

“Good, because I definitely didn’t climb on top of myself and get myself pregnant,” I glare at him.

And there’s those hormones both of us missed so much.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I didn’t mean to make you think I was blaming you. This… this isn’t a bad thing, Sook.”

“Are you sure about that?” I ask him.

“We did okay once, right?” he asks, holding up Ella.

“Yes we did, but are we ready for two?”

“I guess we have to be.”

I get what he means but that answer still makes me uncomfortable. For a minute we just stand there, not saying anything.

“Ma!” Ella lunging toward me brings me back to reality and I take her from Eric. She puts her hands on my cheeks and smiles at me.

I burst into tears.

“Sook,” Eric says, and steps towards me to wrap an arm around me. “It’s okay. We’re going to be okay.”

“I know,” I nod. I know it’s going to be fine, it’s just a lot.

“We can handle this, baby,” he says. “If you and I can get along, we can handle anything.”

“Good point,” I laugh quietly and Ella leans forward to give me a kiss, which is just her putting her mouth up against the recipient but it’s still cute. “Thanks, baby girl.” I give her a squeeze and tickle her ribs, which makes her giggle.

“Da!” she flings her top half toward Eric.

Then the smell hits my nose. Someone needs her diaper changed. My girl’s got great timing.

“You okay?” Eric asks as he takes Ella.

“Much better. You’re holding the kid and she’s stinky,” I smile up at him.

“Funny,” he says. “But I’ve got this one. You’ve got a baby to gestate for nine months.”

“If this one stays for the full reservation,” I sigh. “I guess we’ll see. My due date is April seventh.”

“Wow,” he says. “Due date.”

“Yep. I think this’ll feel real when the puking starts.”

“Maybe you’ll get lucky this time, and won’t puke at all,” he says, and turns to take Ella for a diaper change.

“That would be nice but I’m going to stock up on Saltines in the meantime just in case,” I call after him.

I lean against the counter and take a few deep breaths. Sooner rather than later the reality really is going to hit. I just hope I don’t completely freak out.

EPOV

Sookie’s pregnant again. I’m shocked, but what can I do about it? We’re just going to have to deal with it. I’m sure we’ll both grow to be excited and happy about it, but for now I’m not sure what to feel. It’ll be interesting, that’s for sure, but it’s not like we can’t afford it. And we didn’t totally mess up Ella.

When she goes down for the night, I go find Sookie in the kitchen, and hop up on the counter.

“So should we talk about this?” I ask.

“Talk about what?”

“You being with child again.”

“Yeah, we probably should.”

“How are you feeling about it?”

“Still shocked. It’s not like last time when I felt like something was off with me. I feel fine. It never would have occurred to me to take a pregnancy test if I hadn’t gone to Dr. Vardamon’s office today.”

“I’m shocked too,” I say.

“Are you disappointed?”

“No,” I say. “I know I’m not disappointed.”

“Okay.” Sookie looks relieved when I say that.

“I’m surprised, but I know there’s nothing we can do to change it. And I don’t think I would want to.”

“I couldn’t. After having Ella there’s just no way I could do it.”

“I know,” I nod. “It’s never been an option. And this isn’t really that bad. We had one really fucking cute kid, chances are this one will be just as cute. Plus we have a boy name ready if it’s a boy.”

“I’m not worried about the kid being cute,” she says. “I’m worried about whether or not we can handle a toddler and a newborn at the same time. I’m worried about Ella getting jealous, whether our relationship can handle two kids and a whole bunch of other things.”

“Whoa, Sookie, come on. Give us some credit. We can talk to other parents for advice on how to handle this with Ella. We’re not the only parents to have two kids close together. And by the time this one is born, Ella will be excited to run and get things for us and help,” I say. “As for our relationship, I know we can handle this. I’ll stop working again if I have to.”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it,” she says.

“We can handle this,” I say, and hop off the counter. “Don’t throw in the towel just yet.”

“I’m not. I don’t think I’m being negative either. I’m just thinking about more than how cute our kid will be.”

“I was just trying to help you feel better about it,” I say. “Tell the hormones to take a hike.”

Sookie scoffs and then leaves the room.

I groan, and follow her. We need to fight it out or she’ll be pissed at me for days. Those pregnancy hormones are no joke.

“Don’t walk off,” I say.

“Don’t be a jackass then,” she says as she climbs the stairs.

“I wasn’t being a jackass.”

“Okay.”

I follow her up to our room and shut the door behind us.

“Jesus, will you just talk to me?”

“I said what I wanted to say.”

“And now you’re pissed at me.”

“Yes, I’m pissed at you,” she says and goes to the closet.

“Well help me fix it.”

“I don’t feel like it. I told you what my problem is and you just glaze over it like I’m worrying over nothing, so forget it. I’ll deal with it myself.” Sookie angrily opens and closes drawers while she talks, but doesn’t take anything out.

“I wasn’t trying to glaze over it, Sookie. I’m just trying to be the calm one right now. Is that okay with you?”

“Yeah fine. You be calm and I’ll go take a bath. Alone.” Sookie grabs a nightgown and underwear before leaving the closet. She slams the bathroom door behind her when she gets in there.

“Dammit, Sookie!” I yell, and follow her right into the bathroom. It’s dangerous, but I don’t care.

She ignores me and starts the tub.

“If you want me to freak out, then I’ll freak out,” I say. “I’m scared to have a second kid. I’m scared that something will go wrong and I’ll lose one of you. I’m scared that I will somehow not be there for the birth. I’m scared of how the hell we’re going to handle a curious almost two year old and a new baby at the same time, especially if I’m working half the time. I’m scared you’re going to get stressed out about it all and pull away from me, and I don’t want to lose you for that. I’m scared of a lot of shit that I can’t do a damn thing about right now, so I’m choosing to stay calm and deal with what I can at the moment. And at the moment, I just have to deal with the news that you’re pregnant.”

“You could have said all that before,” she says as she gets undressed. “I hate that you accuse me of holding something back when you’re the one hiding things.”

“I’m sorry,” I sigh. “I’ll try not to do that anymore, but I thought I was doing the right thing by staying calm. I thought nothing good could come from both of us freaking out at the same time.”

“Staying calm doesn’t mean lying to me.”

“I wasn’t lying,” I say.

“You weren’t being honest.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’d like to take my bath now,” she says.

“Seriously?”

“Yes, seriously. Sucks when someone just ignores your feelings, doesn’t it?”

“Fine,” I sigh, and leave the room, shutting the door quietly behind me.

I grab my pillow off the bed and take it to the living room with me. I doubt she’s going to want to sleep in the same bed tonight, and even though it’s probably childish of me, I’m beating her to the punch.

It pisses me off too, because this should be a happy time. I always thought when we had another kid that it would be something we celebrated, not something we ended up arguing about. And I am happy. I’ll love this baby as much as I love Ella, and no matter what, we’ll figure it out. It’s not the baby’s fault that mom and dad messed up.

I turn the TV onto the Food Network since they’re playing old episodes of Iron Chef America. They usually put me to sleep easily, and a half hour later I’m dozing off.

xXx

I don’t wake up until the next morning when the smell of bacon hits me. I see Ella sitting on the floor watching cartoons.

“Good morning, Gorgeous,” I say to her, and she crawls over to the couch and puts her hands up for me to pick her up. I sit up and pull her into my lap, and she grabs my face to give me a kiss. “Thank you.”

She smiles and squirms to get down again, then crawls out of the living room and into the kitchen. I follow her in and see Sookie sitting down at the counter eating breakfast. I go over to the stove to find it clean and open the oven to find nothing keeping warm for me. All the pans she used are sitting in the sink, dirty.

“You just made enough for you?” I ask.

“Well I figured if you didn’t want to sleep with me you wouldn’t want to eat with me either so I just made enough for Ella and me,” Sookie says and takes a drink of her orange juice.

Well fuck.

“I’m sorry; I just thought you wanted your space. I didn’t feel like lying in bed with you being all pissed off at me.”

“It’s fine, Eric. You made your choice,” she says.

Ella pulls herself up on my pant leg and gives me one of her cheesy grins.

“I have to go to the bakery and go over the orders with Amelia so she knows what needs to be done while we’re gone, assuming you still want to go out of town with me,” Sookie says. She lifts a piece of toast smeared with Nutella, which she doesn’t normally like, and takes a bite.

I pick Ella up and say, “I think you should be asking yourself that question, not me.”

“I’m not the one that slept somewhere else last night.”

“I’m sorry,” I say. “I thought you might come down to talk after you took your bath.”

“Leaving made it pretty obvious you didn’t want to talk to me.”

“Is this one of those times where I keep saying sorry, and you keep being pissed?”

“It’s possible.”

“Well again, I’m sorry. I should have stayed upstairs.”

“Yes you should have,” she agrees and gets up from the table.

Sookie opens the microwave and there’s my breakfast.

“You really do love me, don’t you?” I ask, and Ella claps.

“Some days more than others.” The corner of her mouth lifts a little.

“Thank you,” I say, and lean down to kiss her cheek. At the same time, Ella lunges for her and wraps her little arms around Sookie’s neck.

“Oof, you little monkey,” Sookie says and takes Ella from me. She peppers Ella’s face with kisses, making her belly laugh and squeal a little.

“I’m gonna miss her being this young,” I say.

“We’ll have a replacement soon enough,” Sookie sighs and puts Ella down so she can crawl around.

She heads straight for the Tupperware cabinet to pull everything out.

“No, Ella,” Sookie says firmly and Ella ignores her.

I close the microwave door and heat my food back up a little while Sookie goes to take care of our curious kiddo.

“I’m taking the munchkin with me unless you want her with you,” she says as she moves Ella away from the cabinet.

“Ma!” Ella yells in frustration and tries to get around Sookie’s legs.

“I said no,” Sookie says to her and Ella starts crying. “Too bad, missy.”

It is always heartbreaking to me to hear Ella cry, but in this situation, she was told no twice and didn’t listen, so I can’t do anything about it.

“I can keep her if it’ll help you get done faster,” I say.

“Doesn’t matter either way.” Sookie ignores Ella’s tantrum.

“Might as well leave her here then. No sense in all three of us getting dressed today,” I smile.

Ella turns and crawls over to me. She grabs onto my pants with one hand, points to the cabinet with the other and says, “Da!”

“Mommy said no, Ella,” I say firmly, but everything in me wants to let her have what she wants.

Ella’s little face turns red and she cries harder.

I look to Sookie, begging her to let me pick Ella up and comfort her.

“Distract her attention to something else,” Sookie says.

“Ella baby, do you want to play with your toys?” I ask.

Ella pulls on my pants, trying to climb up but her tears get the better of her and she falls back on her butt. Sookie moves away from the cabinet to start the dishes and Ella takes that as her cue to try to get at the Tupperware again.

“Ella, no,” I say a little too loudly.

She startles and then really starts wailing.

“Pick her up,” Sookie tells me.

“Thank you,” I say, and quickly scoop my little girl off the floor. She immediately wraps her arms around my neck and cries. I can feel her tears on my skin and I feel really guilty for making her cry harder. “Shhh, I’m sorry, baby.”

“She’ll be okay,” Sookie says sympathetically.

“I know, but she breaks my heart when she cries like this,” I say, and keep rubbing Ella’s back until she calms down.

“Want me to take her so you can eat?” Sookie offers.

“Yeah,” I nod, and peel Ella off of me to hand her to Sookie.

Sookie cradles Ella and kisses her curls, rocking her back and forth. She might come off like a hard ass, but I know the tears bother Sookie just as much.

While I’m watching Sookie calm Ella, I realize that that whole marriage thing doesn’t seem so scary anymore. We’re having another baby now, and I love her more than ever. Maybe it’s time to propose to her. I feel ready.

After Sookie leaves for the bakery, I rush around and get Ella dressed, then myself, and we head out too. I just have to do my best not to get photographed, or Sookie will figure it out before I want her to.

I manage to call ahead to Tiffany’s and have it set up so that I can park and sneak into the store through the back. I can practically see dollar signs in the young attendant’s eyes when I tell her I’m looking for an engagement ring. She takes me to a counter and starts showing me the different cuts of diamonds they have, and I pick a couple that I like. She then shows me the setting options for the cuts of diamonds. We finally narrow it down to two totally different looking rings, and I can’t decide.

“Ella, pick Mommy a ring,” I say.

The girl holds them both up for Ella, and she immediately reaches for the less gaudy of the two. She knows her mother well. It’s a single cushion cut diamond on a silver band with diamonds laid into it.

“Perfect,” I smile, and kiss her cheek. “Daddy is so sneaking you ice cream later.”

Ella just smiles and claps her hands.

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