When Eric brings me home I’m floating on cloud nine. I’m home before curfew and when I get inside I make sure to lock the door behind me. The television is still on so I go to the living room to find Daddy asleep in his chair. There’s a can of beer beside his chair and further inspection turns up five more littered around. I kneel down to pick them up so I can throw them away before going up to my room for the night.
The sound of the cans knocking together wakes Daddy and he makes this growl/grunt sort of noise before his slightly bloodshot eyes try to focus on me. He raises a finger to point at me and says, “If that kid knocks you up, you’re going to one of those homes for unwed tramps. I won’t have any bastards in this house.”
“He’s not like that, Daddy. Eric is good to me,” I say and walk away from him to throw away the cans.
He’s drunk and when Daddy drinks he has a tendency to get belligerent with me. He’s hit me more than once when he was drunk so I usually try to avoid him when he’s like this. He follows me to the kitchen.
“Don’t backtalk me, little girl,” he says. He’s swaying on his feet but his aim is always surprisingly good when he’s drunk.
“Daddy, you should go on up to bed,” I say calmly.
He lunges at me and I dodge out of the way before he can get me, but he manages to get a hold of my hair. He pulls hard on it, making me scream. My eyes well up and I try to get him to calm down but he launches into one of his tirades, telling me how much shame I’ve brought to the family by being such an easy tramp, how he can hardly show his face at the VFW anymore without the guys giving him a hard time about it.
When I do get away from him it’s only a few seconds before he catches me again and slaps me hard across my face. He’s scary angry and thankfully Mama comes running into the room to get Daddy off of me. I make a run for the stairs with Daddy still hollering, and when I get to my room I wedge a chair under my doorknob so he can’t get in.
I cry for a while, my night ruined, and then change out of my clothes to get ready for bed. We have church in the morning and I’ll be going with a bruised up cheek. I wait until I’m sure Mama’s got Daddy tucked in before I brave leaving my room to use the bathroom. My cheek hurts and I know it’s gonna swell up some. This isn’t the first time he’s done this, and he has done worse in the past.
No one ever really talks about it, and I’m sure most folks think I have it coming because of my reputation. Living in this house is no good for me. When I’m here I don’t feel very good about myself and then when I’m with Eric I feel like I’m someone else. It’s hard to go back and forth.
Sometimes I think about running away. How much worse would it be if I went out on my own? I doubt Daddy would mind if I disappeared. It would get his buddies off his back and I wouldn’t have to worry about anymore nights like tonight ever happening to me ever again.
I toss and turn all night and the next morning there’s no apology from Daddy. We leave for church at the same time we always do. Daddy and Mama go in ahead of me while I go out to the little atrium at the middle of the church. There’s lots of plants out here and the church bell is out here, too. I sit down on one of the benches and say a little prayer for the strength to get through the next ten months until my eighteenth birthday.
I decide then and there that I’m moving out that day. I’m not going to keep being my Daddy’s punching bag. I deserve better than this and I have a boy in my life that loves me more than anyone ever has. I’m blessed.
The door to the atrium opens and Eric calls my name. I freeze, knowing he’s going to be furious when he sees what happened to my face. Usually I blame it on being clumsy or not paying attention to what I’m doing, but I can’t lie to Eric. So I turn slowly to face him and brace myself.
“There you are,” he smiles when he sees me, but as he gets closer his smile fades to a frown. He reaches up to gently touch my cheek and asks, “What happened?”
I try not to flinch. “Daddy hit me.”
Eric’s eyes go wide and he says, “What? Why?”
“Because I’m a tramp that brings nothing but shame and embarrassment to my family.”
“Where is he?” he growls.
“Inside somewhere,” I sigh. “But Eric, you can’t–”
“The hell if I can’t,” he says. “He had no right to lay a finger on you.”
“It’s never stopped him before,” I say, which only makes Eric’s face redder with rage.
“How often does this happen?”
“Only when he drinks too much, so maybe a few times a year.”
“That’s a few times too many,” he says, and turns to head for the door.
“Eric, please,” I plead from behind him. “You’ll just make it worse for me if you say something to him.”
He stops in his tracks and says, “You mean he’ll hit you again.”
“It’s possible.”
“Then what do I do?” he asks. “I don’t even want you to go back to that house.”
“You give me a hug, kiss the cheek that isn’t bruised and pray that this is the last time he loses control of himself,” I tell him.
“That’s not enough for me,” he says, but wraps his arms around me anyway.
“I’ll be okay,” I promise. I’ve been through worse but now isn’t the time to tell him that. We have to get inside for the service.
“Will you sit with me for the service?” he asks. “Or will that anger him?”
“I’ll go tell Mama I’m sitting with you. Daddy’s not speaking to me today.”
“I’ll come with you,” he says.
“That’s fine.” I pull back and take his hand while we walk into the church.
I find Mama talking to some of her friends. She turns her attention to me so I can introduce her to Eric since she wasn’t home last night when Eric came to pick me up.
“Mama, this is Eric. Eric, this is my mother.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Eric. Sookie speaks very highly of you,” Mama says.
“It’s nice to meet you too, ma’am,” Eric says politely.
“I’m going to sit with Eric and his parents if that’s okay with you?”
“Fine, dear.”
“Thank you, Mama,” I say and let Eric lead me away when Mama turns back to her friends.
“Where’s your dad?” Eric asks as we walk to where his parents are.
I look around and see him by the bulletin boards. “On your five,” I tell him.
Eric looks in that direction and glares at my father.
“Are you sure that whole eye for an eye thing is bad?” Eric asks quietly.
“As long as I live under the same roof. I really don’t want to take a chance.”
“Please tell me you’ll move out as soon as you can.”
“That’s my plan.”
We go into the sanctuary and find his parents sitting on a pew on the right about halfway to the altar. Mr. and Mrs. Northman smile when they see me, but just like with Eric, their smiles fade when they see my cheek. Eric gestures for me to go first and I take a seat beside his mother.
“Hello,” I say and look at each of his parents. It’s embarrassing sitting here with my cheek all swollen like it is.
“It’s so good to see you again, sweetheart,” his mother says, and actually gives me a hug.
When she releases me, his father reaches over and takes my hand in both of his and says, “You look lovely today, Sookie. I hope you’ll have lunch with us after the service.”
“Thank you, both of you. It’s great to see you again, too. I would love to have lunch with you as long as my parents are okay with it.”
“We’d love to meet them,” Mrs. Northman says, and her eyes flick to my cheek.
“They’re still socializing, but they’ll be in soon.”
The organist starts to play so everyone knows it’s time to take a seat, and my parents take a pew to the left closer to the front. Daddy’s doing one of the readings today, which I tell Eric’s parents just before the reverend enters the church and the opening hymn starts.
♥ ♥ ♥
After church Eric’s parents take us to the nearby country club they’re thinking of joining. Everything is fancy here and not at all what I’m used to. I try to fix my hair so it’s hiding my bruised cheek and people won’t keep giving me sympathetic looks.
“This dining room is lovely,” I say after Eric’s parents have their coffee.
“Yes, but it might be a bit too stiff upper lip here for our taste,” Mrs. Northman says.
“Mom and Dad like the finer things sometimes, but only when the people aren’t haughty.”
“Nothing wrong with that,” I say with a smile that makes my face hurt.
“The food is wonderful though,” his father says. “Order whatever you’d like.”
I look over the menu and decide on pork chops. The waiter comes to take our order a minute later and then disappears to get the iced teas Eric and I asked for.
“So how are you liking it here so far?” I ask Mr. and Mrs. Northman.
“It’s a lovely town,” Mrs. Northman says. “My neighbor is a delightful gossiper named Mrs. Fortenberry. Do you know her?”
“Everyone knows her.”
“I figured as much,” she laughs. “I’m sure she’s gossiping about me too, and I love it.”
“Mom is very amused by town gossip,” Eric smiles.
“She’s an old busybody, but if you want to know anything about anyone she’s the one to ask,” I tell them.
“I didn’t even have to ask before I knew all the dirt on everyone on the block,” she says. “All the while I could see her looking around the house, taking mental pictures so she could tell someone else about us.”
“The things that amuse you, darling,” Mr. Northman shakes his head with a smile.
“Don’t be surprised if she tells everyone every single thing she overhears coming from your house,” I warn.
The waiter brings our iced teas and side salads that come with our meals.
“It’s a good thing nothing too interesting happens in our house,” Mrs. Northman says.
“Yeah, it’s mostly boring there,” Eric says. “A lot of reading happens; although we sometimes don’t get our trash out to the curb on time. That may be a big deal.”
“Oh, so you’re the dirty new neighbors,” I giggle.
“There’s already gossip?” she asks with a delighted smile.
I nod as I drizzle a little dressing on my salad and I swear Mrs. Northman giggles like a school girl. I’m careful when I take the first bite of my salad since it hurts to open my mouth too wide.
“Mom, maybe you should start doing things on purpose to see how fast it takes,” Eric suggests. He looks amused.
“Or she could just keep going out in public with me and Mrs. Fortenberry will ruin her socially in no time,” I say without thinking.
Everyone stops what they’re doing and embarrassment takes over for me, forcing me to excuse myself and leave the table. I go straight to the bathroom, feeling like a prize idiot for what I just said. I don’t know if Eric has told his parents about my past but if he hasn’t I’d rather they don’t know about it. I lock myself in a stall and try not to have a complete meltdown.
I hear the door open shortly after and then hear Mrs. Northman softly calling my name.
“I’m alright. I’ll be out in a minute,” I say in a creaky voice.
I take a few deep breaths and dab at my eyes to dry up my tears before flipping the lock to open the door.
“I’m sorry I said that, Mrs. Northman,” I apologize. “I didn’t mean to ruin lunch with my stupid mouth.”
“You didn’t ruin anything, sweetheart,” she says. “It’s just a shame you feel that way about yourself. You haven’t done anything wrong.”
“You might feel differently if you knew…” I trail off as a fresh batch of tears well in my eyes.
“I hope it doesn’t upset you, but Eric filled us in,” she says. “We don’t think any less of you, and neither does he.”
I squeeze my eyes shut. It’s hard enough knowing that Eric knows the truth, but his parents knowing is a whole new level of disappointment in myself.
She reaches out and touches my arm gently.
“Sookie, we really don’t care what you’ve done in the past. All we care about is that you’re good to our son, and that you make him happy,” she says. “And you haven’t done anything abnormal or bad. If so then James and I are bad people too. Eric was the biggest three months premature baby that hospital ever saw, but we stuck to our story.”
I move my hair away from my face to expose my cheek and say, “This is to remind me of what girls like me deserve. My Daddy did this to me.”
I start to sob all over again.
“Oh honey,” she says, and pulls me into her arms. “Your father is not a nice person, and he was very wrong for hurting you. You don’t deserve this.”
Deep down I know Mrs. Northman is right, but it’s hard to accept that when I’m constantly being told differently by just about everyone else. It takes a few minutes before I can stop crying, and then Mrs. Northman does her best to help me fix my face.
“Thank you, Mrs. Northman,” I say quietly before we leave the bathroom.
“Call me Helen, sweetie,” she says, and cups my good cheek with her hand. “I really hope that you’ll be my daughter one day.”
Her words surprise me. I’m not used to people being kind to me anymore, especially parents of the boys I date. I know we’re probably a long way off from it but I say, “I think I’d like being your daughter.”
“Then you keep being good to my son,” she smiles.
“Yes, ma’am,” I promise with a small smile.
EPOV
When Mom and Sookie come back from the bathroom it’s obvious that Sookie’s been crying. While they were gone I filled Dad in about her cheek, and he was just as enraged as I had been at the church. We both hate that she has to live with parents like hers, but there’s little we can do about it.
Dad and I stand up when they get to the table and hold their chairs for them. My parents raised me that you stand when a lady enters a room and you hold her chair when she sits.
“The food was just brought out,” I say as we take our seats again.
“I’m sorry about that,” Sookie apologizes.
“Don’t apologize,” Dad smiles. “We’re all still having a lovely time.”
I appreciate my parents for always trying to make Sookie as comfortable as possible.
Sookie smiles, but her hands are a little shaky when she reaches for her silverware.
“Lunch looks delicious,” she says.
“It tastes really good too,” I say. “I had the pork chops last week.”
“Then I’m glad I chose well.”
“They practically melt in your mouth,” I say, and my mouth starts to water at the memory. “I’m almost upset with myself for getting the steak this time.”
“Never be upset over a steak,” Sookie tells me as she puts butter on her baked potato.
“Next week then,” I smile. “And you can get the steak.”
“Maybe,” she says.
“It would be nice to make this a weekly thing,” Mom says.
“I’d like that,” Sookie says.
“Great,” I smile over at Sookie.
She takes a bite of her pork chop and after she swallows she looks at me and says, “You’re right. These are excellent.”
“Told you,” I smile.
Things are much calmer for the rest of the meal, and afterward Sookie and I walk back to our houses. I want the extra time with her, and it’s not a really long walk.
“Are you alright?” I ask as we start walking after waving goodbye to my parents.
“Yes, I’m fine,” she says.
“I hope my mom wasn’t too out there in the bathroom.”
“No, not at all. She was very nice to me.”
“Good,” I nod, and take her hand.
“So what are you doing for the rest of the day?”
“Hopefully spending it with you, but if you need to go home I understand,” I say, even though I hate the idea of her being in that house.
“I’m not going home until I have to,” Sookie says. “It’s a good thing I did all my homework yesterday.”
“Then let’s go to the park.”
“Okay.”
“While you were in the bathroom I told my dad what happened,” I say.
“Oh.”
“I’m sorry, I just thought… He was just as upset as me. I just don’t want to lie to you.”
“It’s alright; I’m just not used to talking about it.”
“We don’t have to talk about it.”
“I don’t suppose there’s much to say. It happens,” Sookie shrugs.
“But it shouldn’t.”
“No, it shouldn’t, but I can’t stop it so I’ve learned to live with it.”
“But you shouldn’t have to,” I say. I can feel myself getting upset.
“I don’t have a choice, Eric. It isn’t like I can just leave whenever I want. I’ve thought about it. I even packed a bag once, but where would I go if I run away? I’m stuck right where I am so I make do with what I have.”
“What about your grandmother?”
“I never thought to ask, but I don’t know if my parents would let me go.”
“Maybe they would,” I say, even though I hate the idea of her going away. It’s better than her living with a father that hits her. “All they do is talk to you like you’re a burden.”
“I’m used to it,” Sookie says sadly.
“I don’t want you to be used to it. The only way to undo that is to get you away.”
“You know there was a time when I wished I would get pregnant so they would send me away,” Sookie confesses. “At least I’d be out of that house.”
I stop walking and turn to face her. I hate that she has to feel this way. No girl should have to wish to get sent away from home for these reasons.
“I’ll get you away from them,” I tell her. “It may take a while, but you’ll get out, and I’ll make sure that you never have to put up with any of that again.”
“I need to get myself out,” she says. “I can do it. I decided I’m leaving on my eighteenth birthday no matter what. I don’t know where I’m going to go, but I’m going.”
“Then me and my parents will help you in any way we can. My dad already offered you a job if that will help.”
“It probably will. I won’t make it long on my own if I don’t have any money.”
“Maybe we can find you a job now,” I suggest. “It’ll get you away from the house more often and you could start saving.”
“I have some money saved from this summer, but it’s nowhere near enough to live on,” she says, and takes a deep breath that she lets out slowly.
I reach up and rub her arm in a soothing way and say, “Worrying never changes the outcome. You’ll figure it out because you’re smart and capable, and I’ll help you whenever you need me.”
“Thank you.”
I lean down and kiss her and then we start walking again.
“What would you like to do?” I ask. “The sky’s the limit.”
“Whatever you want is fine with me.”
“What is it that you want?”
“I don’t know. I just want to be with you.”
“Okay, then the park it is,” I smile.
When we get to the park we walk around the pond and then sit under a tree. I sit with my back against the tree, and then Sookie sits between my legs. I wrap my arms around her and kiss her neck.
“I love you,” I say.
“I love you too. I’m sorry I’ve been such a drag today.”
“Don’t be sorry. I love all of you.”
“I love all of you too. I’ve never felt like that before.”
“What’s not to love?” I joke, and tickle her side.
Sookie squirms and laughs, trying to get away from my fingers. “Hey, cut it out,” she says through her laughter.
“But I like your laugh.”
“Do you like me squirming, too?”
“Yes, actually,” I say. “That feels nice.”
Sookie slaps my hand but laughs louder.
“I like knowing how ticklish you are,” I laugh with her.
“You keep it up and I’ll get a cramp,” she says, gasping for air and still squirming around.
“That doesn’t sound fun,” I smile, but stop tickling her.
Sookie turns her head and lifts her face a little bit.
“You know what does sound like fun?” she asks.
“What?”
“You put your lips here,” she says and touches hers.
I smile and say, “That does sound like fun.”
“So what are you waiting for?”
I smile wider and then lean in and press my lips against hers.
These two…oh my god, so sweet. 🙂 I hope the wrath of God hits her mom and dad though.
They are so cute, and the Northmans are so nice. I hope she doesn’t have to go and live with Gran; that would be too far away from Eric.
Sookies dad should be struck down in church for his behaviour towards his daughter. She’s lucky to have Eric’s parents and him. It’s a shame that this fiction is (and may still be today), actual life for some girls.
I hate parents that hit there kids … We all would like to run from them.. Eric family are so nice….
I’m so glad that Eric’s parents support Sookie. I’m still shocked that kind of child abuse was able to exist and no one said anything. I hope Sookie finds a way out.
You know, I think it’s shocking too, but that was just the time. I remember getting into a conversation with my aunts about this once a few years back. There was a family across the street from them and they knew the kids were being abused and neglected, but people kept to their own business and didn’t interfere with how others chose to raise their children. I know my own grandparents occasionally use corporal punishment with their kids, but they weren’t abusive people. They were of the line of thought that the occasional slap on the ass keeps a kid in line and I tend to think it worked. Do I agree with their way of thinking? No, I don’t. But I also know that my mom and her siblings don’t hold it against their parents.
However, that’s very different from what we’re seeing here with Sookie. What her father is doing isn’t about discipline; it’s about his personal rage and misguided shame. He’s taking his anger out on Sookie and that’s never okay.
i am glad that Eric told his parents about Sookie’s past, it would be bad if Maxine tells them… i am also proud of the Northman’s for believing in her and not judging Sookie…. KY
*kleenex*
Sookie’s dad is a real ass. I know how it feels. Great chapter.
Linda
I feel so bad for Sookie. I’m so glad she has Eric and his parents. Her dad is horrible and her mom is just as bad.
Sookie’s dad is an abusive douche ;(
Sookie’s dad IS a real bastard, and her mother is weak. Very common back then. Though these were different times, people thought nothing of how other parents “disciplined” their children – unless it was public & looked worse than what they’d done in private. Girls who acted as Sookie had in the past were even more subjected to so-called discipline, especially if they didn’t get married to “save their reputations.” We’re very fortunate to live in enlightened times when this abuse is actually seen & defined as such. It should be reported, and perpetrators punished far more than they are. I can’t imagine someone looking at a child of any age & hurting them in any way. Fortunately for this story, Scribe & Meg have written in heroes for Sookie – her Gran, Eric’s parents, and Eric himself. They’re all great examples for her to follow so she can hopefully get out of her abusive & oppressive home situation sooner. So glad Eric told his parents everything & they were understanding. I can’t wait to read Eric’s reaction to all of this!
You know, part of the reason I love this story is because it shows both sides of the coin for Sookie. She has two sets of parents pulling her in two different directions. Her own parents don’t really see much of a life for her outside of marriage and children, and her own father doesn’t even really see that for her now that she’s “damaged goods.” It broke my heart to write a Sookie who had so little self-worth at some points. When we started writing this I didn’t know her father physically abused her. That was something she revealed to me as we wrote and there were times when I was sobbing while writing the story she was telling me because it’s absolutely heartbreaking to think of someone growing up in this sort of a situation.
You’re absolutely right about the heroes she has to turn to, and we’ll see even more of that going forward. I wouldn’t say I’m the world’s biggest femanist, but it’s definitely something I’ve started to pay more attention to recently thanks to some of the bonehead things said by American members of congress when it comes to women’s rights and whatnot. This was definitely not an era where it was acceptable for girls like Sookie to take charge of her sexuality and plan for a future outside of a husband and children. She has the weight of her family (minus Gran) pulling her down, trying to force her into a mold because THEY think it’s all she’s capable of, or that it’s her ‘place’ in life.
Then she meets Eric and he has such progressive parents for that day. They give her hope and plant the idea that she can be more than just a housewife and mother. They want her to realize her full potential, regardless of Helen’s busybody way of putting a little pressure on Eric to make an honest woman of Sookie. It’s all good natured, however. Mostly she wants to see her son settle down with a good woman and she doesn’t buy into the malarkey that Sookie is ‘ruined’ because she lost her virginity before she was married.
And I think, in the end, Sookie finds exactly the right balance in her life and she has the Northmans to thank for that.
Ugh..I just hope that Sookie’s dad tries this one more time. Then, after being softened up by the ass beatings he would get by Eric and his dad, Gran would then take a shovel and finish the job —not kill him, just maim him a bit 🙂
Ugh….maybe a part time job would help Sookie stay away from the house –but if it puts her in the line of fire from the small town gossips, then maybe not. Hope Quinn gets a little taste of his own medicine –line an STD from some lovely “upstanding” gal…oh, that would be rich!
Pat
OMG, I knew Sookie’s dad was an ass, but now we see that he’s an absolute f**king bastard!!! It’s so sad how socially acceptable it was back then to abuse your children and even your wife. I hope Eric and the Northmans are able to help her avoid him and eventually get out from under his roof altogether.
Thanks for pointing all that out, Meg! I agree wholeheartedly & would have written some of that, but I didn’t want to take up the space on your blog! LOL! Your Sookie’s had me crying too, but I am WAY defensive – can’t help it – grew up during those feminist years & bless all those women who made it possible for me to have more of a future to look forward to than apron strings & dirty diapers. Nothing wrong if you have the choice to stay home & want it; if you don’t, it’s a whole other story! There’s nothing wrong about being able to make your own choice, as long as you choose wisely.
Absolutely. I don’t want to shit on women who have made a life of staying home to raise children and be housewives. That’s not at all my intent. If you choose it, and it’s what makes you happy, then go on with your bad self. That is a completely valid choice and I admire women that do it because I would probably go insane. It’s another thing altogether to lead your daughter to believe that she’s not meant to do anything but birth babies and clean house. That mindset is demoralizing to the women who do it every day, who raise the children of the chauvinist assholes that have this opinion.
And don’t worry about taking up space on the blog. You’re welcome to comment however you’d like. We appreciate well thought out reviews, especially when the comment on social issues like this. We loved the discussion going on in Over You, so don’t be afraid to jump in on something or let your opinion air out.
Bless the Northmans & bless Eric for being honest with them & being there for Sookie. I admire the way he is controlling his need to exact revenge for Sookie – listening to what’s she says – just as he did with Quinn. And they are doing their best to show her she is just normal.
It’s interesting what you said above about giving your daughters inspiration to achieve. I wanted to stay home when I had my daughter – I had waited a long time to be a mother, mostly because I didn’t meet the right man til I was in my 30s, & I wanted to enjoy it as much as possible. So for 5 years I was lucky enough to do just that, but as she grew I became more & more aware of the examples I was setting for her. I wanted her to see me as more than just a housewife & I definitely want her to have great ambitions of her own & have the chance to fulfil them. So now I have a job that I love & my daughter sees me & my achievements in a different light. And other things are important too; I don’t diet, I eat well as I want her to have a healthy relationship with food & she’ll learn that from me. And when I ran in my first 10k race a couple of weeks ago it was partly for me but partly for her too, so she can be inspired by me. Too many kids still don’t get much encouragement to aspire to anything; I see it at work, tho things definitely aren’t as bad as they were in the fifties. But it’s especially sad when adults expect the very least of children, classifying them as trouble & expecting them to fail.
I’m glad Eric’s parents know about Sookie and her abusive dad. That’s two more people on her side. I hate that Sookie has to live in a home where she isn’t appreciated. I hope that Eric’s words will convince her that she is good enough to deserve his love.