DotedOn

Thursday. The rest of today and tomorrow and then holidays. I almost made it. Cutie is still sick so he’s here with me. He slept terribly and me too. Soon we have to go to see my son playing the flute. At least it’s not raining (yet).
A couple of days ago, the man got a letter saying that he had to prove that my kids went to school. I told him I was taking the letter to the kindergarten and get a stamp. I did that on Tuesday and when I got home I checked and it was written “signature”.
I called him and said that I forgot to ask for a signature and that I was going to do it on Wednesday morning when I took the kids to school. Cutie was sick yesterday too, so my kids didn’t go to school.
I asked if he could come to pick the kids earlier and we could go together and make it sign. When he got here, he checked the letter and said that the signature missing was his own and that we didn’t need to go. Thank goodness. I can’t have his crap.
All the time I wanted to tell him about the e-cigarette but I was still afraid about getting his crap and my youngest kids were always near and I didn’t think it was a good idea to do it in front of them.
Then my oldest kids got home really frustrated and started shouting at me. One day I will snap and I’ll make them part of the wall decoration.
It was bad. So bad that even the man was shocked (he must have short memory or maybe he could see that it’s NOT ok to shout at someone, specially if you are supposed to care about that person).
So he came up with this plan and said: “Feel free to say NO. But I think that WE (all) have to talk. That’s not the way they should treat you. Allow me to get food, cook here and do dishes after”. You should have seen my face… If I kept opening my eyes more, the eyelids would have exited the face. I’m not sure which part of his statement was more shocking.
We went together to the supermarket to get pizzas and I went straight to the wine section. “I’m so going to need one later”.
Then we started to eat and the man said to my kids: “I’m not happy with the way you treat your mother. She seems cool now but she is hurting. Every bad thing you say to her causes some damage that will never go away”. THE NERVE!!! Apparently, that was too much for me to hear so I stared at him shaking my head. He went on: “And after telling ugly things to her, you’ll feel really bad”.
My oldest son was faster than me and asked: “Are you feeling bad now?”
“High 5 baby!!” I said to my son and then I added: “But I’m still mad at you and I didn’t get the chance to tell your father about your brilliant idea”.
“What happened?” asked the man.
“He did what EVERYBODY else did”.
“What?”
“He bought something very stupid”
“Please tell me”
“Not in front of the others”
“Send me a message now”
I took the iPod and wrote: “e-cigarette”
He read it and said: “Can I ask why?”
“Because EVERYBODY else did!!!” I said, and my other kids kept asking “What? What did he buy?” so I continued, this time talking to all my kids “So if EVERYBODY gets a tattoo saying ‘MADRE’ is ok to do it… And if EVERYBODY else break the car’s windows and stole the stereos is ok to do it… And if EVERYBODY else gets drunk and dances on the roof is ok to do it… And if EVERYBODY else shave their balls is ok to do it… ” I went on and on… They were all laughing but I was really frustrated and my son said: “Anyway, I will not use it anymore, my chest hurt after a while”. WTF!! I felt terrible and said: “Good!! Wrap the ugly thing and give it to your dad then”.
So he went to look for the e-cigarette and wrapped it in paper towels… Many paper towels, and then he gave it to the man. The man took the package and said: “This looks like something that I want to get for your mother” “What, a dildo??” asked my son. I almost choked and I think some pizza went out through my nose.
Count that as one of the most embarrassing moments of my life… Specially if my boy remembers when a few months ago I stopped at a store ( christineleduc.nl ) and he caught me staring at some toys. I can hear him saying: “You know, once I caught my mom looking for toys… Poor woman, even my dad offered to get one for her”. Please God don’t let that happen!!
And I never got one (even when more people offered to get one for me or suggested to shop online) because I freaking worry about a hiding place…
There is no way I get one!!! If I ever do and they find it, I have this image of my kids playing “Mom, Try To Get It!!” while I’m in the middle with my arms up and see the thing flying above my head…
I admit I have a lot of imagination… but those are MY kids, they inherited that too!!

~ by DotedOn on December 18, 2014.

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