Why?!

Have you ever failed a class? Did you feel terrible about it? There’s always a time where you realize that everything you’re doing doesn’t make any sense at all. That is me with my major I don’t understand if it is really what I want I want to do or if it is just something to fill in my time. I honestly don’t understand what I am doing. I don’t know, I need direction in my life honestly.

There is a huge possibility that I might fail my first class. I am very upset but I am not stressing over it,  I am sad that I didn’t get my shit together in time. I tried I mean I really tried, I talked to my professor  I told himb my struggle and he said I could pass. Now I’m here at the end of the semester and I swear I am drowning, I am drowning and I cant get out. I don’t want to fail I have never failed a class and now I am going to fail a class, I mean I took 60+ college hours and I never failed anything. I’m so upset yet I am not. I deserve what I ever I get. I AM NOT STUPID I GET WHAT IS GOING BUT WHEN IT COMES TO THE TEST I PASS OUT A LITTLE BIT EVERY SECOND! Maybe just maybe if I pass the final I can pass the class, I’m not sure though. I would really want some extra help but even when I study again when it comes to the test I pass out. I honestly want to pass. Okay let me just tell you I believe that if I do not pass cal now next semester I will not be able to take the classes I need and I will pass out. I mean I could always focus on taking classes for my minors. I have no idea what I will do. I’m just going to take it a day at a time. Right now I just need to focusing on passing my classes. I have 2 A’s a C (she’s going to curve it so it will be a B I hope) and a bad bad grade on cal. Well fuck me up and send me to jupiter. If I pass the final maybe maybe I don’t know I have a problem.

thanks for reading this.

-M-