Panic

  
I suffocate on the notion of being closed in by all four walls. Lungs empty, I suck in dry air. Pressure pounds through the left side of my chest like an exposed artery, my head echoes in unison. There is no way out of how I inevitably proceed with my thoughts; I am reminded through physical blows. There is no fraction of time that passes without a consistent deafening “tick”. Though I try to imagine being safe, no thoughts comfort my insecurity. No company fulfills my desire to feel comfort. A never ending tunnel closing in. The pain recedes for a moment, then returns without haste. I struggle to recall the thoughts that had once eased my pain, but they tire in distance. Nothing. Nothing relieves the pressure of my heavy eyelids. My veins pulse against paper skin, my body tortures me with physical woes. Eyes close against anxious will and accept darkness. Eyes open and the pain has come undone. Time has passed, after all.

16 thoughts on “Panic”

  6. I realte to your feelings. I feel no one can ever say he is truly understanding how one feels for I have come to the realisation that in some way we will always be alone in this world because we are unique. No one will never be exactly like you so I think no one can exactly feel how you feel…. So I’m not going to pretend BUT I have been so down and depressed that I sunk into psychosis and paranoia. Sadly I feel the need to say you need not to worry because people are still scared, despite all the progress that have been made, of the people that dare to declare they had a psychotic episode. I have been without any crisis for over 13 years. I just want you to know I do feel a deep connection with what you are sharing with us today. It takes a lot of courage to expose yourself like this but it helps so many people!! Thanks you for daring, thank you for your honesty, thank you for following my blog. In a room with no windows I found Truth.

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    1. Thank you so much. That means the world to me. One of my coping mechanisms is the act of release, and writing helps me obtain that feeling. It’s comments like yours that help me get through every day and have the courage to speak up.

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      1. Writing is indeed one of the ways to cope and reach out. Thank you for taking the time to read my comment. I would really like to get to know you better. I have found your FB account but didn’t want to seem like a stalker so I didn’t ask for your friendship. I felt maybe you needed to know more about me. Just tell me when you are ready. No worries. Friendship is all I am looking for.

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