Food | Kinley Dane

Woo, Friday was a tough day, food-wise for me. It started first thing in the morning at work, because everyone decided to put their treats out right away. I stayed strong the first part of the day, eating my normal breakfast and determinedly trying to focus on work and ignore the siren calls of the junk. But by lunchtime, it was all over.

To preface this, you should know that about 5 months ago, I completely changed my diet. I primarily eat a plant-based, whole food diet now. I’ve lost weight, I look better, feel better and all that fun stuff. I definitely treat myself now and then, so I’m not completely inflexible, but generally I try to keep my treats to one meal or dessert. And normally, I honestly have no trouble sticking to it. But on Halloween? It was an all day food orgy of the junkiest kind.

There was more, but those are the ones I paused long enough to take a picture before I stuffed my big mouth with them. It might not seem soooo terrible, but consider this: I no longer eat meat, sugar or processed food. Which pretty much exactly represents what I ate that day. Saturday and even Sunday were TOUGH getting my raging food hormones (are there such things? it sure feels like there are) back under control.

Halloween night was actually a reprieve. Because our weather was awful this year, my brother and sister-in-law decided to take the kids to the mall for trick or treating. I had no idea malls even did this, but apparently, it’s a thing!

I figured it would be crowded, but people, I had no idea…

The kids had to wait in these HUGE lines to get their candy:

Which meant there was not a lot of candy to be had. Fortunately for the kids, they have the most awesome aunt (me!) and grandparents who brought them some extra candy to make sure they had their proper allotment of Halloween goodies.

And, okay, I did kind of pull a pathetic aunt move by buying the girls organic suckers, instead of the ring pops I was also considering, but thank the candy gods, my brother told me the next day that the girls loved them.

I wasn’t completely pathetic…I did get them some other fun suckers and I got my nephews giant Hershey bars and other chocolates…

…AND now I want junk food again. Great.

Okey dokey, I better get myself out of here until the scent of sugar has dissipated. Feel free to stay and snack, but just be sure to take the empty wrappers with you!

Oh, and p.s. I do allow myself a few pieces of chocolate every night, because chocolate is one thing I’m not gonna give up. I just make sure it’s dark & organic and I take these tiny little bites so I can savor it. Here’s my absolute favorite brand!

Salazon-Chocolate-Co-Dark-Chocolate-Bar-Organic-Natural-Sea-Salt-850225002002

Cue angels singing. No, seriously, it’s that good.

I was waiting on my Swiss cheese at the deli counter, when I heard muttering. I glanced over at the customer next to me, who was scanning the meats. His face suddenly lit up and he scooted closer to me, knocked his elbow against mine and pointed at the display case. “I’m getting me some of that! Hot head cheese. Woo!”

I looked at the head cheese and then eyeballed him sideways as I scrunched my nose. “Um, ew,” I said. I know, it was rude, but head cheese? Do you know what that is? It’s bits and pieces of a cow or pig’s head and possibly brain, all processed into a hard meat jelly. Yes, meat jelly.

I kid you not, this is what it looks like. (source)

“Oh, no babe, it’s good,” he chuckled. “Have you ever had it?”

“Well, actually no. I haven’t.”

“You gotta try it then! You’re missing out.”

“Okay, good point,” I said, nodding my head. “I don’t really know what it tastes like. But just the thought, ugh.”

“Well you’re gonna try it today. Come on, I’ll have the lady give you a piece.”

I stared at him for a second, shrugged and said, “Okay, sure, why not.”

For future reference? If you say something like ‘why not’, that generally means there’s probably a reason why not and you might want to give it some more thought. But sadly, I didn’t.

When the deli server handed me my Swiss, he gave her his order and asked her to get me a piece. She smiled at me and quirked her brow, but I didn’t say anything. I was preparing to eat brains.

She quickly returned with a gigantic slice of head cheese. I grabbed it from her and peeked over at my new friend who smirked and said, “Go on! Try it!”

I jiggled the slice a little, wincing, before I took a deep breath, ripped off a piece and slowly put it in my mouth. Now, I don’t want to give anyone nightmares, but I’m telling you, there were chunks. I chewed globs of brain matter, maybe some tongue or snout, all mixed in with gelatinous pieces of I-don’t-know-what.

But I’m proud to say, I swallowed and did not gag. This was a major accomplishment, under the circumstances.

“And?” the guy asked. “What do you think?”

“Well, um, it was interesting?”

“Okay, you gotta try some more. Eat the rest of that slice,” he encouraged.

“I think I’m good, really,” I said with a grin.

“You need to try it with Saltines,” he said. “They cut the spice a little.”

“I’m actually fine with the spiciness. It’s more the pieces of brain that are a little hard to take. So I’m all set, but thanks.”

He burst out laughing, reached over, snatched what was left out of my hand and shoved it in his mouth. I stared at him, mouth hanging open a little, wondering if he really just did that. But, yep, he did. He ate head cheese out of a stranger’s bare hand. This guy clearly lived on the edge.

I laughed and shook my head, then thanked him again and walked away, wondering how long it would take to get that taste off my tongue. As it turns out, it takes a really darn long time.

**if you eat and enjoy head cheese regularly, please don’t be offended by this post. I grew up loving Spam and liver sausage, so I clearly have no room to talk.