Jennifer Crusie > Quotes

“If you can't be a good example, settle for being a horrible warning”
― Jennifer Crusie, Faking It

“Sorry. I forgot your lust for small talk. And how have you been in the fourteen hours since we last spoke, eight of which you were sleeping?”
― Jennifer Crusie, Bet Me

“I have to see him and Trevor Ogilvie on Monday. Both senior partners at once."
"Good for you. I hope Jack's in trouble up to his neck."
"They're being blackmailed."
"Blackmail?" Riley said, his voice full of disbelief. "Jack? There's stuff out there that's even worse than the stuff everybody knows about him?”
― Jennifer Crusie, Fast Women

“Zach had brought her a dog.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Getting Rid of Bradley

“Infatuation doesn't last because it's conditional and conditions change, but if it's real love, it turns into mature, unconditional love, and new chemicals are released in the brain, Endorphins that make you feel warm and peaceful and satisfied and content whenever you're with the one you love.... And miserable when you're without him because if he's not there, the brain won't produce chemicals.”
― Jennifer Cruise

“The first rule in life is 'everybody lies.' Remember that and you'll get a lot further.”
― Jennifer Crusie, What The Lady Wants

“I believe things will work out for us if we just believe in ourselves.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Anyone But You

“Everything will be fine. Nothing but good times ahead.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Welcome to Temptation

“King scratched at the door to be let out."
Charlie snorted. "King obviously has a lot of stamina. I'd have been clawing
at the door a lot sooner if I was trapped in a booth with Mark."
"But Mark ignored him, so King... uh, pooped."
Charlie grinned. "And then?"
"Mark yelled at him and scared him." Harry fought back a grin. "So King
pooped again."
Charlie's grin widened. "Mark is an idiot."
"So then Mark waved the script at him, and King—"
"Pooped again." Charlie started to laugh.
"Then Marcia came in and threw a fit because of all the poop in the booth and because Mark was mistreating a puppy. She gave him ten minutes to get the booth clean, and she took the dog away from him.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Charlie All Night

“They stared at each other for a moment, perplexed by their newfound siblinghood. 'So we're the Luke and Leia of hell,' Mab said.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Wild Ride

“But I’m not calm. It’s all a lie.” Quinn held Katie closer, breathing faster. “It’s just that when everybody else is screaming, somebody has to be mature and unemotional, so I have these brain-dead moments where I don’t react the way any sane human being would. I stay completely calm and ignore my feelings and compromise and make everything work again. And I’m not going to do that anymore. From now on, I’m going to be Zoe. Screw calm. Somebody else is going to have to do mature because I’m going to be selfish and get what I want.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Crazy For You

“- Teach me something new, she said, and he bent her back onto the bed and she shivered as his body slid against hers.
- Okay, Phin said. But pay attention, Julie Ann, there'll be a quiz.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Welcome to Temptation

“A lot of really big trees had died to make that desk. His mother had probably gnawed them down, used her nails to saw the boards, and finished the decorative cutwork with her tongue.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Maybe This Time

“Nothing matters except what it takes to survive. You remember this, Madeline: You're born alone and you die alone. In between, you make deals.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Tell Me Lies

“Kate picked up her coffee cup, frowning when she saw it was empty. "Did you drink my coffee?"

"Yes. I was feeling aggressive.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Manhunting

“I had you pictured dead in a pool of blood in front of the fireplace. And now you show up alive, and I want to kill you myself. (Zack)”
― Jennifer Crusie, Getting Rid of Bradley

“She gave Rachel her usual obsessively loving smile, including Phin in it, too, as her future son-in-law. Such a nice couple, her smile said. What lovely grandchildren they'll give me. And they'll live right next door.

Phin's answering smile said, Not a chance in hell, while Rachel gazed at Justice and Mercy, pretending she'd never heard of pornography or sex, or Phin, for that matter.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Welcome to Temptation

“I'll never forget my first time with you. The earth moved, and then mom asked dad who he was going down on during lunch.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Bet Me

“Would she hit a dog to get great sex?”
― Jennifer Crusie, Getting Rid of Bradley

“She was setting out china cups in their saucers, her long pale hands almost the same color as the cream china. "How do you take yours?"
"Four creams, two sugars," Riley said, still mesmerized by her.
She stopped with a small waxed carton in her hand.
"Really?"
"He's very young," Gabe said. "I take mine black."
"He's very boring," Riley said. "Is that real cream?”
― Jennifer Crusie, Fast Women

“He won’t say no, but who cares if he does? Do it. Hell, guys go through this every time they make a move on a woman, and none of them has died yet. In many cases, that is, of course, unfortunate, but rejection is definitely not lethal. Go get him.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Getting Rid of Bradley

“Mason was leaving her for a fifty-four-year-old woman who didn't moisturize”
― Jennifer Crusie, Faking It

“Gabe turned his head to look up at her. The moon came through the skylight and backlit Chloe's short blonde curls, making her look angelically lovely. Too bad she was insane.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Fast Women

“I'm an open Minded Man. How about a threesom? You, me and the machine?”
― Jennifer Crusie, Faking It

“Why are you offering me ten thousand dollars a month for babysitting? You didn’t pay the nannies that. It’s ridiculous. For ten thousand a month, you should not only get child care, you should get your house cleaned, your laundry done, your tires rotated, and if I were you, I’d insist on nightly blow jobs. Did you think I wouldn’t notice that you’re still trying to keep your thumb on me?”
― Jennifer Crusie, Maybe This Time

“You're planning on being disappointed, you'd be disappointed if you weren't disappointed, your whole world view depends on men disappointing you. Well, that's just cowardly.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Bet Me

“Exciting wasn't turning out obe as easy as she'd thought it would be, but it was definitely worth pursuing.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Crazy For You

“At eleven, Kate woke Jake up when she went searching in the cooler for juice.

"You know, you used to be peaceful," he grumbled.

"I can't believe you were ever married." Kate said, as she cracked the can open. "What did you do, make her stand in the corner all the time?”
― Jennifer Crusie, Manhunting

“He turned down the street to Emilio's, trying to remember what "the edge of chaos" meant. It was something about flipping a coin, something about the edge being the moment when the coin was in the air. The point at which the system was pure potential, about to choose a path. Or something about a pile of sand, adding sand a grain at a time, and the edge of chaos being the point at which the critical grain landed and the pile either shifted or turned into an avalanche...
...Min bit her lip and smiled at him ruefully, and without another thought, he walked across the room to her, feeling almost relieved as the avalanche began.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Bet Me

“What about the check?" Suze said.
"Pay it," he called back. "This is your party."
"I don't like him," Suze said to Margie.
Margie slid out of the booth. "Think of him as a growth experience."
"Oh, good, I've been wanting one of those," Suze said and tossed a twenty on the table. It was too much, but she was in a hurry to steal a dog.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Fast Women