Jennifer Crusie > Quotes

“He picked up the biscuit box and said, "Come on, Marlene. Back into hiding in case somebody comes looking for you, although only God knows why anybody would."
"Marlene?" Nell said.
"I'm not calling anything SugarPie," Riley said. "That's obscene.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Fast Women

“He turned down the street to Emilio's, trying to remember what "the edge of chaos" meant. It was something about flipping a coin, something about the edge being the moment when the coin was in the air. The point at which the system was pure potential, about to choose a path. Or something about a pile of sand, adding sand a grain at a time, and the edge of chaos being the point at which the critical grain landed and the pile either shifted or turned into an avalanche...
...Min bit her lip and smiled at him ruefully, and without another thought, he walked across the room to her, feeling almost relieved as the avalanche began.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Bet Me

“The therapist, he thought, and it bothered him a lot more than it should have. After all, he had nothing permanent with Sophie. He just needed to touch her on a semiregular basis or he couldn't finish his sentences.”
― Jennifer Cruise Welcome to Temptation

“Quinn talked with her entire body: arms, eyes, shoulders, mouth. She was performance art, so alive that sometimes he argued with her just so he could watch her flush and gesture.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Crazy For You

“I’m a feminist,” Quinn said. “We get irrational urges.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Crazy For You

“I even yelled at you last night." Phin eased up. "For which I apologize."

"It was kind of nice," Sophie said. "At least you know I was there."

"Oh hell, Spohie, I always know you're there." Phin rolled twords her on one hip, and Sophie felt felt a flare of hope, but he was just digging something out of his back pocket. "Here." He weld out an emerald-cut diamond ring the size of her head. "Marry me, Julie Ann. Ruin the rest of my life."

"Hello." Sophie gasped at the ring. "Jeez, that thing is huge. Where did you get it?"

"My mother gave it to me," Phin said sounding bemused.

Then the other shoe dropped. "Marry you?" Sophie said, and the sun came out and the birds to sing and the river sent up a cheer. Marriage was probably out- Liz as a mother-in-law was too terrifying to complete , and Phin would never get elected agian if he was married to a pornographer- but suddenly everything else was looking pretty good.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Welcome To Temptation / Bet Me

“What are we going to do with the body?" She had visions of dragging it into the swamp, whispering, "Here, gator, gator," and she made a little sound of distress at the thought.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Agnes and the Hitman

“Mab: You know, Bill, you should see an optometrist about that rolling-eye problem. Makes you look rude and patronizing.”
― Jennifer Cruise -Wild Ride

“He hung up and smiled at Cal. “That was Min. She wants chicken marsala. You can deliver it to her.”

“What?” Cal said, dumbfounded.

“You know the way. It’s probably on your way home.”

“It’s not on my way home, it’s not on anybody’s way home except God’s, the damn place is vertical. What gave you the idea I’d do this?”
― Jennifer Crusie, Bet Me

“Life is more than great sex and a nice car.”

“Well, yeah. But not a lot more.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Strange Bedpersons

“I'm fine," Kate said. "In fact, since my last two dates were so awful, things can only get better."

"Bad deduction," Jessie said. "If that were true, I'd be dating Harrison Ford by now.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Manhunting

“If she'd just kept her mouth shut, she would have been perfect, but no...”
― Jennifer Crusie, What The Lady Wants

“Jake ignored him and went on. “If I ever do hook up with anybody again - and I sincerely doubt that I will, so wipe that hopeful look off your face - it will be with someone who thinks that being with somebody who mows lawns is her idea of heaven on earth and who will do exactly what I tell her to do and love it."

"I think Donna Reed is dead," Will said.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Manhunting

“Allie put her chin on his shoulder to look into the carton. He had great shoulders and Chinese food. At the moment, he was the perfect man.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Charlie All Night

“No, this wasn’t just about sex, but for the next hour or so, it was going to be mostly about sex.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Strange Bedpersons

“Does it ever occur to you not to sleep with women?"
"No," Riley said.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Fast Women

“You know, I'm not even sure how we ended up living together."

"I am," Jake said, turning back to the lake. "Sex. It's a powerful force, my boy, and women use it."

"Is that why you gave them up?" Will asked, sympathetically. "Did paranoia drive you to celibacy?”
― Jennifer Crusie, Manhunting

“I'm thirty-four."

"You don't look thirty-four."

"That's because I'm not married." Mae's smile felt as if it were set in concrete. "Marriage tends to age a woman.”
― Jennifer Crusie, What The Lady Wants

“He leaned on the bar. "I'm Tony. And you owe me."
Okay, here we go, Liza thought, and leaned on the bar, too, mirroring him. "I owe you?"
"Yes." He grinned at her. "Because of chaos theory."
Liza shook her head. "Chaos theory."
He moved closer to her. "Chaos theory says that complex dynamical systems become unstable because of disturbances in their environments after which a strange attractor draws the trajectory of the stress."
Liza looked at him, incredulous. "This is your line?"
"I am a complex dynamical system," Tony said.
"Not that complex," Liza said.
"And I was stable until you caused a disturbance in my environment."
"Not that stable," Liza said.
Tony grinned. "And since you're the strangest attractor in the room, I followed the trajectory of my stress right to you."
"That's not what you followed to me." Liza turned so that her back was against the bar, her shoulder blocking him. "Give me something better than that, or I'll find somebody else to amuse myself with."
From the corner of her eye, she saw the other guy, the vacant-looking blond, lean down to Bonnie. "Is she always like this?" he said to Bonnie, and Liza turned to size him up. Big. Husky. Boring.
"Well, your friend isn't exactly Prince Charming," Bonnie said, giving him her best fluttery smile.
He beamed back down at her. "Neither am I. Is that okay?"
Oh, come on, Liza thought, and caught Tony-the-bullethead's eye.
"He means it," Tony said. "Roger has no line."
"After the chaos theory debacle, that's a plus," Liza said.
"Poor baby," Bonnie was saying as she put her hand on Roger's sleeve. "Of course, that's okay. I'm Bonnie."
Roger looked down at her with naked adoration. "I'm Roger, and you are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my life."
Bonnie's smile widened, and she moved closer to him.
"Which doesn't mean he's bad with women," Tony said, sounding bemused.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Bet Me

“She met his eyes and playing fair lost its appeal. “You are not going to forget me,” she said, her chin up. “I don’t give a damn what your plans are, you still want me. Just don’t expect me to sit around waiting
until you get your commitment problem worked out because I’m getting a brand-new life with this haircut, and it’s going to include a brand-new sex life, too. Sorry you won’t be joining me.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Crazy For You

“So, Mr. Shane, you felt you had the right to come down here and bespoil my crime scene because …” He raised his eyebrows, waiting for an answer. “I thought he might need assistance,” Shane lied. “And the untoward angle of his neck did not tell you that he was beyond any earthly assistance you might render?” “I’m not a doctor, sir,” Shane said. “Neither are you a miracle worker, son,” Xavier said. “Should you find any other bodies in my jurisdiction, you will refrain from attempting to raise them from the dead.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Agnes and the Hitman

“I’m stuck in the old me, and I don’t know how to get out. I just know the old me isn’t the real me anymore.”
― Jennifer Crusie, The Cinderella Deal

“You can’t just jump into debauchery one night and expect to get the hang of it by morning. It takes years.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Strange Bedpersons

“Excuse me,” North said. “I’d like to continue this conversation but I find myself in need of a therapist.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Maybe This Time

“Kid, I've only known you two days and I've seen you plastered three times." He shook his head. "A bar would not be a good career move for you.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Manhunting

“Who was the moron on the phone?"

"Carl Avery," Kate said. "A long-standing client and potential felon.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Manhunting

“Weet ik,' zei Nell. 'Dat maakt het juist zo moeilijk. Als je iemand kunt aankijken en zeggen: "Ik heb nooit van je gehouden, je was een vergissing," is dat één ding. Maar als je hem aankijkt en zegt: "Je was alles voor mij en ik verpestte het omdat ik niet voor mezelf kon opkomen," dan is dat heel anders. ... ”
― Jennifer Crusie

“Breasts are very important for women. Their clothes just don't hang right without them.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Strange Bedpersons

“If you're going to have an asthma attack in the surf, I strongly recommend you do so in Nantucket.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Bet Me

“She has a perfect kiss,” Roger said, looking out the window, probably in what he thought was Bonnie’s direction. “Did you ever kiss like that, where everything was exactly right and it just blew the top of your head off?”

“No,” Tony said, looking revolted.

“Yes,” Cal said, Min coming back to him in all her hot and yielding glory. They both turned to look at him, and he said, “Can we go to work now? Because we’re about a minute away from breaking out the ice cream and talking about our feelings, and I don’t think we can come back from that.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Bet Me