The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook Quotes

“New achievement! Mentally Unstable Clothing Hoarder! You have over 500 of the exact same, stackable clothing item in your inventory.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“Mongo,” Donut called. “Come on”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“too.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“I was blasted in the face, getting bukkaked by the fetid, stinking liquid. I fell over trying to get away, gasping and choking.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“heart.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“She had an I-might-murder-you-at-any-moment-but-it’ll-probably-be-fun-for-both-of-us aesthetic.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“You are going to give yourself an ulcer,” she said. “Focus on what you can accomplish, not that which is beyond your control.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“If Santa gives coal to the regular naughty kids, he’d probably give this stuff to history’s greatest villains, like Hans Gruber and the guy who invented those shoes with the individual toes built in.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“upsets Mongo.” Mongo squawked in agreement. Carl: Now you know how I feel when you type in all caps. Donut: THAT’S NOT THE SAME THING, CARL.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“The devolved Lepus lost its sight, but it developed its rudimentary echolocation skills into an impressive attack. They don’t normally run around without skin. We just added that part because it makes them scary as shit.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“We got Snakeheads at 86 and 87. They look the same, but they fight each other.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“I understood then why we hadn’t received any information from people who’d ridden the named lines. People died when they rode the named lines.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“The monsters had vomited and shit all over the place. One of them appeared to be passed out on his back. Another was scratching at his own face while he teabagged his unconscious companion. Half walked on two legs, and the others rushed about on all fours. Their bright-red asses flashed in the light as they jumped about.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“New achievement! I’m on a train! Choo Choo, Motherfucker. Reward: You’ve received a Train Conductor’s Souvenir Hat! Wear it with pride!”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“it contained a nice pair of unenchanted pliers, a standard tape measure, and a bucket of pink glitter. Not a vial of glitter. Not a cup of glitter. A goddamned bucket full of the stuff. Even before I could add it to my inventory, some of the tiny pink squares blew out of the container and spread to the floor. I knew from experience that it was now all over. The glitter would never go away. I”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“I don’t know. There’s a whole train of people out there. I’m sure someone would love to join up with a healer and two mages. It won’t be us”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“She examined it and frowned deeper. I couldn’t help but laugh. The system labeled it as Ugly Ass Backpack With a Completely Useless Design that Only an Idiot Would Wear.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“I think my fans should have a name, wouldn’t that be great? Like the Princess Patrol or something.” I grunted. “How about the Donut Holes?”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“If Santa gives coal to the regular naughty kids”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“I still couldn’t make sense of it. I couldn’t imagine how anybody could make sense of this confusing bullshit. I had the sense whoever designed this let it get away from them. I hoped the same asshole wasn’t in charge of the next floor, too.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“We’ll never trust each other, and that sucks. It really does. It’s exactly what they want to happen, and it breaks my fucking heart.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“They can cut everything else off”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“You need to do something bad and get a tattoo.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“I apologize, Carl. Let me translate it to earth monkey speak. The mudskippers are cheap bastards who have built this entire crawl with spit and duct tape and items they have purchased at the equivalent of an interstellar swap meet.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“No way I’m letting some greasy dwarf steal my magic gold supply while giving him such fine stroke material.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“That’s okay”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“Kids aren't always a product of their parents. But sometimes that doesn't matter. Sometimes parents can cast a shadow so thick, you can drown in it.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“I think my fans should have a name”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“When someone has given up”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“One day”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook